How to Be Yourself Around People
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- Опубликовано: 25 авг 2024
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When I'm alone I'm different when I'm around people I'm so different but I want to be myself around people just like when I'm alone :|
That's really good self awareness. You might find another vid I have useful, on feeling self conscious or socially awkward, as it covers why we feel uncomfortable around others vs when we are alone and at ease. Here's a link to it...
How to Deal with Being Self-Conscious or Socially Awkward/Anxious
bit.ly/2K4CzFZ
Warmest wishes
B
This 100%
me too : ( 😢
Same for me
3 reasons why we can't be ourselves around certain people:
1. To please others
2. To fit in among others
3. To be accepted by others
Be yourself. Figure out what you love and do it everyday. Ignore what other people think, and you'll notice that the right people will begin to gravitate towards you. You'll also start to notice that you care less and less about what others think, because you're perfect the way you are.
Is it really true that people who care about u come to your life... I always worry that i don't get new people if i be myself around others.. And i donno why.. But i am tryna improve🙂
That’s what I’m afraid of: in order to be myself I’ll lose my family. My wife doesn’t accept me for me and if she was no longer on the picture I’d lose my kids by default. I have only been able to give her the pretend version of me because every time I open up she freaks out and threatens divorce.
People think I’m shy cuz once I feel uncomfortable around people I just don’t talk to no one and stay to myself
I couldn't breathe properly at times of social situations. I really dont fit in with most people but thats okay. As much as possible I just want to feel relaxed and comfortable with myself so other people can feel relax too. thank you for this video ma'am.
💛💛💛
+1
I get this, i feel this around certain people even people i meet that i dont even know, its a really aweful feeling!!!
I have trouble being my self around certain people , I have tried to be myself but sometimes I think that the people around me wont like me. I have a feeling that if I be myself no boy will like me or certain girls will think I'm annoying. What can i do ?
Hey Amanda, I understand what you mean. It can be such a difficult feeling and confusing. The most important thing we can learn in life is to be ourselves, no matter what anyone else might think. There will always be people who like us and other people who don't, and that's okay, that's just life. It's not something negative about us if someone doesn't like us, it's just simply that the world is filled with lots of different people, some "gel" and get on, and others don't. Think about it... you don't like everyone you meet, and it's not because there is anything wrong with those people that you don't like them... they're just not a natural fit with you (different personalities, different vibe, different interests, different way of thinking and talking etc). We gravitate to people who naturally "get us" and feel good to be around. When we can be ourselves, the people who don't like it can move on and be with other people, and we can be free to connect with people who genuinely like the real people we are. In this way we surround ourselves with genuine friends. 💜😊
The Daily Positive this helped a lot , thank you so much ! ❤❤
@@Bernadette_Logue im scared my family will not like my attitude, jokes, and personality but i dont want to let them go... ;(
Whoa!! I hope this woman NEVER, EVER deals with people who have been narcissistically abused - This is SO invalidating. We are super empaths and can sense things that could seem psychic. We need people who "get" it and don't BLAME US 🙄 SM(F'ing)H 🤦🏼♀️
@@queenofthebutterflies5212 It’s didn’t mean that you shouldn’t take accountability for your thoughts though
Classic symptom of narcissistic abuse. My mother was a narc so I naturally feel like I cannot be myself around women. I can totally be myself around men because my dad loved me unconditionally.
Thanks for sharing. It's powerful to see how our patterns were prompted and evolved, with that awareness we can heal.
My mom and mother in law are narcissists too. I was able to create a healthy distance with my mother, but I can't avoid my mother in law. Whenever she's around I become so negative and distrustful.
I get this way around people that constantly call me out harshly on things I said that came out the wrong way, look for flaws kind of thing, but would never ever look at them self as the problem. Not only can I not be myself, I feel scared. So strange...
Me too
I usually have crushes on this type of person😩😩
I recently had a friend who suddenly wanted to stop being friends because she felt uncomfortable. She always acted very positive, smiling around me and I always thought it was fake. She ended up exposing very personal information about her past early on and looking back I always got the impression she was trying to prove herself to me via humblebragging about her accomplishments, attractiveness and how people were jealous of her.
I feel like she was a perfectionist and perhaps she felt like she had to prove herself to me. For some reason I touched on her insecurities. In reality Im a very accepting person so she had nothing to fear. But now I think I understand why she felt the way she did.
Don't blame her. My self honestly I don't feel my self around loud social people. They make me feel awkward and I honestly become hypervigilance and anxious. They think that I hate people. Maybe I am like your friend a perfectionist. Don't blame her, probably she was raised by a protective parents.
@@MegaDreamOo hey there. I dont blame her either. Its been a year since I wrote this but I'm under impression she was trying to live up to an unreasonable standard that no one was imposing on her but herself. Apparently I come across as very self-assured when speaking and maybe she felt she also had to live up to this while still struggling with self doubt from a difficult past.
Im not sure what you mean by sociable people thinking "you hate people" but I dont think anyone who has actually socialised with a variety of people expects everyone to behave the same way. Other people's opinions dont matter. Just be yourself and never apologise, its easier for cutting out bullshit.
I can’t be around my family and be myself but when I’m with my friends or new people I can be myself because it’s like they don’t really know me
If you are around someone who is abusive in any way, GET AWAY! THEY ARE THE PROBLEM!
absolutely, i disagreed with the coach when that was said, for eg; narcissist are definitely the problem.
𝙸 can’t, it’s part of family obligations. Don’t know when or how 𝙸 can.
@@PTEC im very sorry thats what you have to deal with. My mom was in a similar situation as she married my dad really young. My dads family were extremely religious, traditional and strict especially toward my mom as she was not of their culture. My dad would beat my mom til she was half dead almost everyday and my dads family would be in the next room and not once help her or us kids who were in the room too. It was hard times back then, he would beat us kids too but take the brunt of it all out on my older brother or mom. I was born with a red bruising belt buckle mark across my tummy and my mom had the same mark from the beating she received the night b4 going into labour with me. My dad was abusive in everyway. After 15years of abuse and 6children under 12, my mom prayed to God desperately that my dad release her from the marriage and let us go and dont come looking for us as he always did when my mom and us kids would escape. Next day He told my mom and us kids to leave the house, he has his 19yr old mistress moving in, as sad as that was for us kids to hear and im sure it hurt mom a little BUT she was more surprised and happy that God answered her prayers!!!!!! hahahaha!!!! she was shocked that God literally gave her a way out!!!!!! We hit the road with the little things that could fit in our small van a few blankets, 1 toy each and we were gone. It wasnt easy for my mom we struggled but it was a blessing to see her strength and love for us kids through everything she did. She started her journey following God and learnt more about Him everyday. She would pray for us kids endlessly, as teens we faced some real hard times but we knew from what we witnessed when we were young God can pull us out of anything. Now were all over 25years old and living good lives with good professions. Sadly our mom is not here with us she passed away 7years ago now, The Lord took her home. Hes answered all her prayers for us kids. Everyday we remember how God saved my mom and us from our dad and we all have kids too so we know to pray for them no matter what. I know now the impossible is possible, I know everytime we ran out of food, he would bless mom with money or a friend would bring shopping over for us, so we never went hungry and theres so much more that hes done for us. Last but not lest. God is good God is great, He is soo real. My family have seen Him work miracles in our lives I suggest you seek God above start with a little prayer to The Lord of all creation and Ihope this little testimony helps you know that God knows whats happening, He knows its wrong, Trust in Him He will make a way for you to come out safe. Here are a couple scriptures from The Holy Bible, I hope they help you, God bless you always.
2 thessalonians 3;3 "But the Lord is faithful and He will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one."
2 Samuel 22;3-4 "My God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my savior; You save me from violence. I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies.
@random person when you feel safe with yourself, find a way out. There are resources for help, when you have the chance look for them.
I am the silent type. But others get uncomfortable when I'm silent so that sucks.
Me too -_-
I find it so hard to be myself around my parents and with people I don’t know that well, when I am around my friends I make dirty jokes but when I’m with my parents or family I barely speak
This is the ultimate cause of all problems related to social anxiety and lack of confidence etc.....
The problem is that healing is tricky and sometimes I feel It’s hard to change these blocks within you
same here but I have no confidence
Finally! i found someone speaking about that.. But look dear. i'm really thankful for your video. it made me have a bit of a boost that someone knows my trouble but it's actually even more grander than that. i actually dont feel like myself around anybody (the girl i see in front of the mirror when i'm alone in my room) i never find that girl infront of others. even my best friend i dont really feel like i'm completely me but like i'm half me.. and yeah infront of some specific other people i dont feel like me at all. And it's because i dont feel like i'm enough and i feel like i'm boring and that i wont ever be no.1 in someone's life.. i read too many articles and watched videos..People say have confidence and dont care what people say about u.. but dang it! i cant do it.. how can i do it!.. how can i believe in myself.. i really cant.. it's too hard! Thanls if you read that crap!
Hey. I hear you. It's not a quick leap forward or "easy" but the answer is to first accept yourself. Then from acceptance and feeling at peace with yourself you start to build like then love for yourself. That is the anchor that keeps you steady in life. I have videos on the channel like "how to accept all parts of yourself" and affirmations for daily use to wake up the heart and soul to see yourself in your true light (as wonderful!) Plus a self love meditation. 💖
Thank you! :) thank you for your beautiful reply. It's a heal itself.
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I can relate 100%.. also like said below we have to first accept ourselves. I've hidden myself from me and every one else since I was a small child and I don't even know who i am to even be able to accept myself . I come from guilt, shame, rejection, belittlement, I was wrong I could do nothing right, and a few more. I grew up believing and learning I was worthless, unacceptable, incapable, shameful, a failure, disgusting, unworthy, stupid, ugly, etc. I try to own it and not play victim but I don't know how to change I beat myself up for every mistake. I was praised for not having any friends and any friend I happened to make was always belittled and called wrong for me and not right. I wasn't allowed to have friends. I'm sad right now. I'm having to face this beast and I'm dealing with being honest making mistakes and learning how to state my truths. I'm getting ready to come head on with this in a few days actually and all I want to do is run and disappear. I need strength to overcome. I need someone I can be 100% honest with and I can't find that person. Good luck in this journey because it's hard it's lonely but I believe it's doable with persistence and faith in ourself
this comment section is the most i’ve ever felt understood. i hate that we have to feel like this. idk how to be the person i am when i’m by myself with other people? it feels impossible. i feel like i’m constantly playing a role. i’m not comfortable with anyone
I use to love making people laugh, then first love happened, never been the same since and never dated again, that was 17yrs ago... unreal
Same here now when i try to make people laugh they just stare blankly at me. And in my brain im screaming "its a joke smile or something show some expression for the love of god". :/
Jack DeSilver my life is hell man, thanks for caring tho
So sad
@@clairem6596 was very hurt as a child, then first love was crazy, adult life with mom has been crazy, dads known to be crazy, real crazy, never met him, he passed in 2013 im sure... just cant opem up cuz trust n all is gone, trust in people
I can’t even be myself when I’m alone such as right now when I’m typing up this message I just don’t like myself so I always act like there’s people around me and have been living my life as a people pleaser because it makes me feel good
Hi Ben, I hear you, and part of the journey in this life for so many of us is about accepting ourselves, starting to build new kinder, compassionate and forgiving relationships with ourselves, and learning to love ourselves despite any perceived issues we see. I know it's not easy and can feel very isolating and difficult, and people pleasing is a common mechanism to get that sense of connection, bonding, good feeling and sense of value in oneself, so you're not alone there. I hope the audios/vids on my channel might be useful. I'd suggest using the Self Love & Empowerment daily meditation and the Confidence & Self Belief Affirmations as a starting point.
With love and best wishes,
Bernadette
I have a very low voice and make dirty jokes when im with my friends but with my family i have a high pitch voice and act like a clean minded 11 year old girl edit: i love my friends and i am myself around them... I think this will really help me :) thanks
I'm always second-guessing myself or smiling a lot around others. But I'm really chill and calm by myself.
I don't wanna spend my life not being able to be myself. Trying to please them by being a different way. I think that hit the spot right there. I do worry about being myself around them and dis please them if I am. I am noticing I can't be myself Because if I was myself I wouldn't be accepted. You can take me or leave me. Because this is who I am. And its me not no one else. I need to change.
I a 100 % feel the way you do.
Were you able to change? And if you were, how?
It’s not a bad thing to feel uncomfortable with certain people. It’s your gut telling you that the vibes just are not resonating with your spirit. You can sense something is off. You can sense being judged, evaluated, or disapproved. To think we need to judge our rationale by thinking we have to fit in everywhere we go. It’s not important that we all must fit in everywhere we go. That is just not possible. It’s not important to fit in everywhere and with everyone. You can’t please everyone and that’s a fact of life.
🙌 amen to that! So true. Thanks for sharing these empowering words with others here in our community. Blessings to you!
Thank you so much lovely B! You are helping me so much!
Hey Carol, you're so welcome! Have a beautiful week ahead. Love, B
I slowly started feeling uncomfortable from a few people I knew for only like 3-4 months but my atmosphere around them slowly changed (it’s not the entire group though). With all the negativity that has been happening.
But saying this video helped me, so thank you!
Glad this was helpful. Peace to you, B
Okay so some people i don't feel comfortable being myself around i get this video, and other people i feel like i can be myself around but then i'm afraid of them getting too close, like i feel like i'm opening up too much, idk. I feel like over the years I've gotten better at being myself or I've found out what being myself means or more of who I am. And there are still things I'd like to change about myself, ya. The struggles!
I’ve noticed myself that I’m always uncomfortable and unsure what to do when I’m around some people and I really don’t like it because I want to be able to be myself and feel comfortable with them but it just doesn’t happen.
Hi Arlene, great awareness. A starting point might be to journal when you notice this happening, and use the prompt "I want to be able to be myself and feel comfortable around _____ (insert name), but I can't because ___________"
And "I want to be myself around ____________ (insert name), but if I do that, then they will...."
Simple digging questions can uncover alot, as to the root cause issue.
Most often it uncovers a sense of not feeling good enough, and lack of self acceptance (often these are root of lack of confidence). By observing each time you feel that way, you can learn more and more the underlying pattern, and then go about affecting change in that.
With love
B
Same
There is these 4 teachers that I’m so scared of these teachers are so nice and I try to be myself but I can’t I just can’t I’ve gone home crying myself to sleep bc I say or think I said something wrong I can’t look at them,can’t think sometimes I can’t breath right. I’ve tried everything even medication and i just can’t I’m so horrified and scared
Bernadette - I recently discovered your channel and have been watching your many helpful videos. All of them have enlightened me in some way, but this one was particularly relevant to something I've felt in many situations and groups of people. I'm trying to heal my sense of not belonging, but there's so much I have to work through. It can be overwhelming to deal with feelings that have been buried for a long time, but I think that's what I have to do start feeling at home within. Thank you for your work. It has already helped me, and I'm sure it's helped many others! 😊
You're very welcome. I'm glad to hear that these resources have been useful for you! Lovely to have you in our community. Best wishes, B
Thank you for this video! I’ve been feeling very uncomfortable in myself recently with pretty much everybody. Big career change, existential crises, analysing my life so far and challenging therapy sessions. I hope that I can start to feel more confident in myself soon and truly realise that I am enough just as I am.
Hey Peter, sending love your way 🧡💛🧡
B! I have grown so much! I'm on a magnificent spiritual journey, and in my early journey. you really opened my eyes to a lot! you are very inspiring! Lots of Love and Light Sent your way!! 🤗🙏🏻💚💚💚
Awesome, that's so great!! Go you! Thanks for sharing. Love back to you. B :)
Hello Noel. Jesus wants you to know that He loves you with a love that is far beyond your ability to comprehend. He is the way, the truth and the life. Ask Him into your heart, you won’t regret it. God bless
When ever I’m alone and talking to my online friends or just family I’m perfectly fine and I’m always starting conversations. But when I’m talking to my friends or a stranger I always feel like I’m really tired and out of it and I don’t know what to say and then everything just gets awkward. When ever I have to call someone I always panic and it feels like there’s a weight on my back and I’m always so nervous when I talk to anyone.
Durings times of feeling panic, anxiety or general self consciousness, a couple of tips...
Breathe slowly and deeply through the nose and relax your belly, imagine the air going into the belly area, breathe out through the nose slowly. Continue for a few minutes.
Repeat a positive statement on each in and out breath, something that you feel soothed by eg...
I am safe
I am good enough
💛💜💛
True, thank you 🙏🏻
💕
Thank you!
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I'm not allowed to be myself around people. The only time I can be myself is when I'm alone.
Same here…
I have trouble being myself mostly around boys,and very commonly around my boyfriend I feel if I do be myself he won't like me or if I change my appearance maybe he will think I'm beautiful, I have trouble around boys and don't be myself I don't know what to do to help me feel more comfortable what should I do?
I hear you. I highly recommend you focus on boosting your self-esteem. It is often hard to feel comfortable around other people when we don't feel good enough just as we are, like we're not comfortable in our own skin. The more we listen to uplifting, positive messages to help us feel confident and accepting of ourselves, the easier it is to be at ease with others. You will find other videos and audios on the channel to boost confidence, self-esteem, feel good enough, to let go of what others think etc I hope those help you as well. Just remember - you are awesome no matter what anyone else thinks, you're good enough and beautiful, and you really only want people around you that will like and love you just as you are, no matter what. Best wishes, Bernadette
Pinch Me Living Thanks B💛
This video is so helpful, I've just discovered this channel and I love it, awesome content
Hey Lila, welcome to the community, glad you found us! Have a wonderful weekend. B :)
I have found these people to b a blessing, it has made me take a good look at myself and have a better connection with me and just feel the emotions that have been triggered rather than trying to bury them. Don't get me wrong it has been stressful when ur around people who push ur buttons and I have chosen not to spend too much time or work with them necessary as I have a choice but I'm grateful to have known them as they have been more beneficial to knowing me than anyone who ever just agreed or was easy to be around. The same as being a parent has pushed me into the uncomfortableness that creates positive changes and insight........ We attract these people for lessons I think, thanks b ❤️
Love it all! Yes, yes, yes. Exactly. The adversity we face, including the situations like feeling challenged by certain people, are there as triggers to help us grow. In retrospect we often see these things/people/situations for the gifts they are. I always feel like the added lesson is... "Can I learn to see this situation/issue/person as a gift for my growth while I am smack bang right in the middle of it now, not just in retrospect when I'm feeling better?!". Thank you for sharing! Blessings, B
+Pinch Me Living oooh that's a tough one, I'm giving it a go but can't see the wood for the trees.... My ego is strong when my emotional self is triggered. Saying that though my ego is actually starting to serve me a bit better and snap me out of my nonsense much faster.......there's a specific person I know who presses my buttons and blatantly tries to manipulate me with emotional blackmail..... Nothing's ever good enough and full of constant negativity and perceived persecution from the world which is frustrating. I am asking myself more how can I learn from this person and how they make me feel but still having a grumble about them first! Thanks b X
Thank you. This really really helped me
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Very comforting words. I behave so mostly with people who constantly judge me.
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You are amazing I love your channel
☺️🧡
I really enjoyed watching this. I loved that you said it's not the people whom you are around, it's you being triggered.
I feel this way all the time with my very strong partner but also a lot of people. It's been a turbulent 7 years that we've been together. I'm pushing 40 now and have such a hard time expressing myself or not really even sure of who I am. It like a can't talk. Needless to say I spend a lot of time on my own. Great video though!
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All I can say is thank you so much. You changed my life at school
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No matter how much I want to be myself in any social place or anywhere .I just can't be who I am and I'm quite a lot wierd😶This makes me want to give up everything also that I please to do ...... Why it had to be me💔💔💔
Weird is wonderful, you are perfect in all your uniqueness, and life is a journey to embrace our authentic selves, to get comfortable in our own skin. 💛💛💛
I want to be myself and start off slowly but being around such confident people (for example my bsf, she's very confident and can literally talk to anyone like she knows them personally) takes my confidence away. I also feel like I can only be myself with friends I made through other friends and when I CAN be myself with friends I get too clingy or close to them. I really just wish I could be myself with anyone and still have some boundaries. there's so much wrong with me.
Hi, and thank you for sharing. Please know... there is nothing wrong with you. You are brilliant and unique and wired exactly right for your life journey and evolution. We all have our areas of life that we are here to learn and grow through, and to rise up in our personal power, and it is indeed a step by step journey. But there is nothing wrong with that or with you. Sometimes the very thing that feels like the problem is indeed a gift in disguise. For example, the fact you are experiencing this may mean you are acutely self aware, emotionally and/or energetically sensitive, desire and able to form closeness with others... these are all gifts and often our greatest gifts can also be our greatest areas of challenge. For example being sensitive or very self aware, makes someone amazing in connection, relationships, level of empathy, compassion etc and yet it can also be a little overwhelming to navigate new situations, people etc Just an example, but I love that you can see that you desire to start off slowly, that you can see you want to with friends learn how to manage your boundaries and have healthy interdependence (not too independent, not too dependent). You actually have great self awareness and situational awareness, and now it's just a case of slowly and gently day by day practicing with that awareness to adjust how you interpret and interact so you can build new patterns/habits. I have lots of resources on my channel and my website, including free videos, audios, articles, for building self confidence, self acceptance, navigating relationships and more. With love! B
I grew up in a household with an abusive father who would try to go out of his way to demean me all the time
But moving on , today I dont know how to be my true self (22)
I havent had friends since 8 years or so , have been living alone ( my hairline started receding when i was 17 so i started hiding it and hiding myself )
there is this deep feeling of intense discomfort in my gut , which I get very often when I start thinking about how alone and unlovable I am
I tried to go out and put myself out there but I just cant help but be disliked and removed(subtly ofc)
The only 2 girls I met were through tinder. One of them left the city and the other one just got really distant from me.
the only reason she keeps in touch(which sometimes seems forcibly) is because I am physically attractive and that she doesnt wanna be alone
But yeah , she has lost all interest in me eventhough she was CRAZY about me when we met a month ago.
That is how long I take to repulse a stranger who oddly showed interest in me , only to become a stranger again.
When I socialise , I can't speak. As in , my mind just stops working and I say the stupidest crap which makes people look awkwardly at each other.
More like my memory disappears whenever I encounter a conversation with real people
Hey there, thanks for sharing your journey and the challenges. You're not alone, and you are very welcome to come on over to our community at The Daily Positive (you can join our email list and get regular support) and we are having a powerful free Mind Mastery workshop this month of April in case it interests you. It is a really wonderful resource for helping to heal within, love ourselves, build confidence, set a positive mindset and create a new path forward. Even though you might struggle socially, please remember, you are special, you are awesome, and while you don't feel confident, there is a way forward where you can feel good in your own skin. With warmest wishes!
Bernadette
www.thedailypositive.com
I'm in the same place as you are i totally understand what you're going through
You have a very interesting story, thank you for sharing it with us.. I feel very awkward many times too. I guess as they say , conversation is an art. But here's something I feel is very important that I'm starting to notice about almost all people I meet, everyone is secretly a little shy and awkward,and gets at a loss for words no matter who they are. I work in customer service, and I must talk to about at least two hundred people a day. Everyone is afraid of something about themselves and how they look to others. I am wishing the best for you and your continued journey. But I also want to say, hey it's okay to be different ,and embrace your weirdness. It makes you unique. Also, don't let those women waste your time. Women and even men like that are a dime a dozen. And conversation takes practice, so be easy on yourself. I think when we try to be perfect,that's what messes us all up sometimes. Best of luck on your journey.
I hope someone could help me I can't be myself around my family in the other hand I am very confident with other people that isn't my family.
Yea I agree, I wish I could help, I’m having trouble myself, but we could be friends🤷🏽♂️
Hi Nathan, I hear you. Sometimes we find ourselves feeling uncomfortable around people that are closer to us perhaps as we sense they may have expectations of us, or have previously held judgements of us, or they may push our hot buttons of whether we feel good enough, valued, appreciated, seen, heard or accepted. It can be so helpful to get counselling support to talk through with an objective professional guiding you, to uncover what might be going on. All such challenges present an opportunity for us to learn and grow, and to step more into confidently being our true selves. Sending warmest wishes your way.
It is really very helpful. Thanks for this session.
😊👍
What if you have been the victim of bullying bad behind your back at work for absolutely no reason at all? Its obviously there issue not me or mine, but it deeply affected me as to why, when i already lack self esteem & confidence. Thankyou for addressing so many subjects B, you are helping me immensely, although changing the belief system is the hardest thing ever in my life, to be waking up finally & not knowing how or when things will change, its very daunting, but thankyou again, just knowing that you get it!! ❤
Hey Jane, yes that's a different situation and context of finding it hard to be around certain people, not covered by this vid. Bullying is toxic and of course anyone subjected to mistreatment ends up experiencing suffering and as you point out... if your self esteem was already low then it only further inflames that underlying issue. Getting yourself out of the bad environment, away from the bullying people, as well as speaking up and setting boundaries are some of the options for taking care of yourself in such a situation. Plus then also deeper healing to recover from the impact of the bullying and rebuilding self esteem step by step. 💛
This video is everything
Omg... this video answered a lot of my questions today
💛 glad this was helpful.
Really well explain. Key point I took out of this is work on your self esteem self image
Hey, glad this resonated and wishing you the best! B
I really thank you for the video ,
You are welcome 🤗
just:
don't give a shit about people if they like you or not be yourself!
Thank you so much i finaly feel like everybody isnt staring at me
💖 sending best wishes to you. B
I never have normal conversation. I’m focused on myself instead of the conversation. It’s horrible
Hi Moi, I hear you, so many people struggle with self consciousness and feeling uneasy around other people or anxious. Taking time in private for meditation, and self reflection, and developing inner self acceptance and self awareness can help toward feeling a little more at ease around other people. I hope the resources on my channel (e.g meditations, visualizations and affirmations) might be a help to you on that journey. With love and warmest wishes, B
I feel super uncomfortable around children. I hope this helps
I have always altered my behavior around others including picking up accents.
really thank for this video, this is what i have been looking for so long time!
🤗💛
As a minority I feel this way in predominantly white spaces. The reality is most black people live double lives otherwise it affects our quality of life. I still struggle with that. I’m 100% aware of the internal dialogue and unfortunately they are causing it in me. I can’t wear my hair the way I want without alienating myself. I can’t listen to certain types of music because I’ll be seen as a delinquent. I cover up my body to avoid being seen as too sexy. I don’t think the luxury of being myself is something I can afford.
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Great video and may I say you have a great warm smile
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To be real, it's not always our fault for how we are with certain people.
For years to even this day, I could never have an honest one on one with my dad for how I feel overall. It's not because I don't want to tell him, but everytime, I am honest with him. If he disagrees; he gets furious. He will yell. He will threaten me with God asking me on the Day of Judgement about my actions. I am not a good daughter because I don't do what he wants. I want to take time for me. I was on the back burner; I put myself last. I am 23 now. I don't live with him anymore. I have been told countless of times to speak politely to my dad. That doesn't work either. He interrupts me when I speak about anything we disagree on. I am the wrong one for having a different point of view. He says I only care about myself. He says I want everything my way and everything to be perfect. He says I am against him. That I don't care for him or any of our other family members because I don't visit often like they think I should. I talk to my mom about my concerns, but why is she willing to hear me out? But not my dad? I don't try to scream, curse or be disrespectful, yet my dad says I am disobedient. My mom's reactions are the opposite. Why is that?
All in all, it's sometimes because other people overreact to the simplest of things that we can't be ourselves because they disagree with our opinions on ALMOST everything. This world doesn't work that way. We have to be open minded to others. Unfortunately, some people don't see it that way. How is it our faults that certain people are angry for how we are and what we say to them? Everytime it's our fault? That doesn't make sense at all. When you speak; you risk offending anyone even if it's unintentional. We're not always going to know what bothers or hurts someone. If it's basically everything they're hurt or mad at you for saying. There's no way to communicate with that individual! That mentality they have pushes people away. That's no way to live!
May God help everyone in their difficult times.
Hey, thanks so much for sharing. Yes certain people can be extremely challenging, and even toxic. That's such a difficult position to be in, and it does make being open and authentic and your most loving self either a) hard work or b) actually in some cases not safe to be/do so... meaning we do have to have boundaries and not everyone deserves our trust or our full openness, particularly if they have repeatedly been hurtful and proven they are not seeking a mutually beneficial and healthy relationship. In case it's useful in any way, I have put a vlog link below regarding difficult family. I send love and best wishes to you. Bernadette
bit.ly/2EH508T
I hate the awkward situation when you want to say something but afraid if they might think that i'm making a joke when im deadass serious. And when I tried so hard to fit in with my friend's friends they made me look like a statue cause they ignored me. I have this problem eversince I got my puberty. I'm not an introvert but I just feel like the society just doesnt like me and I always have this thought like I'm just an attention seeker and I don't deserve to have friends. I honestly don't know what to do at this moment, I wanted to go to the counseling room at school but people might make fun of me thinking that i'm crazy or whatever. I'm scared and nervous I hate this feeling. Is this depression, introvert or something else?
Hi, you deserve friends, happiness and to feel good. Definitely go and see the counsellor, it's strength to ask for help, and wanting to talk and share what's going on is very natural and healthy. They will be able to support you in working through what's going on. When you feel scared and nervous, one thing you can do to help is to do slow deep breathing through the nose, imagining the air go all the way down into your belly. Eg breathe slowly in to the count of 3 and out to the count of 4. Do this for a few minutes. Slow deep breathing like this into the belly helps to calm the mind and body. 💛
Amazing! I needed to hear this.
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Sometimes it’s not about pleasing them or fitting in, being accepted, or whether you’re enough, but more that you’re trying to reign yourself in because you like or admire them and want to know everything about them but they are quiet or private and you don’t want to overwhelm them or make them uncomfortable with all the questions you want to ask them to get to know them.
Thanks for sharing this. 🤗👍
@@Bernadette_Logue you’re welcome. Said another way, sometimes it doesn’t feel like the problem is that you’re not enough for certain people but more that you’re too much for them. Maybe they think or you’re worried that they think you’re too much, over the top, etc.
I think that it can be that those type of people projecting their insecurities unto others and also they probably talk to much poop about others instead of focusing on their breaths and that is reason why they make other feel uncomfortable. A person who don’t talk crap and live happily for thyself might appear sensitive around those who constantly do talk crap.- Remember that everything is frequencies.-what we talk about creates energies and same goes with what we think!!! -Namaste xoxo
I choose men who I feel this way around. They usually end up hurting me and I blame it on my uncomfortability and awkwardness... Why am I attracted to men that make me feel like I can't be myself 😩
I like, can't talk properly, fumble my words overly giggly, loss for words, nothing feels natural I feel anxious the entire time
The one I'm seeing now thinks it's adorable, but I don't feel like it is at all! Lol
Wow this was super helpful thank-you! It’s hard to pinpoint what the subconscious is up to sometimes
Glad this was helpful! 💛😊
gem of a video
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The challenge of Being yourself is While people irritate you. People sometimes unwantedly comment on you. for Example: You are Irresponsible. But they behave in the same way. this is what makes me angry. And I am unable to be myself in these situations. a self-doubt arises.
Hi there! I hear you. Anytime someone else triggers us, making us feel a doubt within, it can be useful to think about it like this... "This person is just a trigger in a costume. This isn't about them at all. This is an opportunity for me to reflect on why I'm doubting myself, and how I might own my power no matter who I'm with". It disempowers the energy/focus you're giving to them and the way they are behaving, and puts all the power in your hands to use the situation for your own evolution. Also if someone passes comment on you, you are absolutely allowed to say "Thank you, that's your opinion, not my truth". It doesn't have to be a rebuttal or anger, in fact it's most powerful said with grace and calm. I'd suggest focusing on strengthening your own relationship with yourself, trusting your intuition and your own path, so that other people can say whatever they say and your heart knows the truth and is confident in your trajectory. Sending love your way, B
I cant be myself near anyone and my mom says that thats concerning so here I am.
Hi Mason, thanks for your message. That's wonderful your Mom has been able to support you by noticing that you might sometimes not feel okay about being yourself. Those who love us can often see things that we ourselves don't see. It's okay if you notice that you feel uncomfortable around other people, or if you sometimes feel not relaxed or safe enough to completely be yourself. That's something so many people face, whether it's as a child, teenager or as an adult. In life we are on a journey to learn how to love ourselves completely, to accept ourselves completely and if we practice that self love and self acceptance, so often that helps us to feel more relaxed, safe and confident to be ourselves around others. You are wonderful and good enough just as you are, and the more you feel that, the more relaxed you'll be around other people, the more naturally you'll let your full self shine! In case it's helpful, there are affirmation audios on my RUclips channel which many people like to listen to to help support self love, self acceptance, self confidence. You might like have a listen to those and you could show them to your Mom and see if she agrees if those are helpful for you, it's so important to share with your Mom what you're doing and any struggles you might have, and share any ways that you might be using to support yourself. With warmest wishes, Bernadette
thank you
Amen 🤩 🙏 🤩
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No. I think it has to do with childhood trauma. These people trigger something in Childhood. For me it's people that I feared in childhood that I feel Uncomfortable around. Maybe a friend who was a Bully and I was not confident enough to stand up for myself at that time. So when I see them again, I may get triggered again. It's usually Bullies for me or people who had Narcissistic disorder as kids and I got affected being their friend but wasn't aware that I don't have to be around them until the "friendship" fell apart. My mother is a narcissist so I would hide myself from Being Seen (Standing Up For Myself in other words) because I didn't want people to notice that I've a mother like that. I wanted to escape so I'd find Myself around "Friends" that trigger that feeling in me. I say CUT them OFF. As with Every Narcissist the best thing is to distance Yourself. Now as a Healing Adult I still get Triggered by those people so I keep my distance because Now I know. I want to be comfortable around my people. There is no way I become uncomfortable For No Reason. I don't think so.
I realize its me who is making others uncomfortable. Im making assumptions onto others and this is where the error in perception begins. I need to work on this
Wow that is a great self awareness and a powerful insight. When we realize our own perception is distorting what might be really going on, it's a massive opening for healing, for peace, for freedom and new beginnings to experience life in new ways. I send best wishes to you! B
But did want to say that its more than just the way you look at the world. For me their is a physiological aspect that causes me to move differently, become hypervigilant in a very awkward way and unable to focus on what im doing and instead focus on the threat and usually the threat is oh this person is coverrly harassing me. This physiological shift has only been getting worse. Can this evwn be treated or fixed?
easier said than done on a new job where your dependent on them for training & at their mercy!!
Thank you so much... i understand what has bn going on with me now. I have bn down for a who year wondering why someone triggered some unwanted bodily response in me.
Now i hsve got the points reason for my behavior
Thanku
Sis really broke it down
😊
I would like more videos on this topic 🥺
Here's a related video in case it's helpful...
ruclips.net/video/kzEl2v74sLo/видео.html 💛🧡💛
My problem is i always try to be in a different way so that they wouldn't be displeased with my original self
Hi, I understand what you mean, sometimes we self-adapt in the hopes of better fitting in, finding acceptance, validation, bonding etc but as a result we can end up abandoning our true selves. Just bringing awareness to it is a powerful step in a healing direction, and then step by step having the courage to relax into your true self in front of others. The more we self-validate and self-accept, the less we look to others for that. I send love and best wishes to you. B
Hi, I understand what you mean, sometimes we self-adapt in the hopes of better fitting in, finding acceptance, validation, bonding etc but as a result we can end up abandoning our true selves. Just bringing awareness to it is a powerful step in a healing direction, and then step by step having the courage to relax into your true self in front of others. The more we self-validate and self-accept, the less we look to others for that. I send love and best wishes to you. B
Good one. thanks
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I get pretty uncomfortable specifically around people I work with. Not all of them - but the really smart ones that ask all the right questions. I am a natural communicator and when I start flowing in conversation I guess I sound intelligent. But when in meetings with these people I just feel like I know nothing and they have all the good ideas. It’s draining and exhausting to say the least. Any thoughts?
Same, I for some reason feel uncomfortable around people who I feel are better than me
This lowkey broke my heart. . Idk which personality is actually mine 🧍🏾♀️
You're very much not alone in that journey, as we discover the many layers of self and the identities we take on, the masks we wear, and we goldmine our selves to dig down and discover what feels like the true self we were born as. It's very much a discovery process and something that's quite possibly the best thing we do for ourselves in this lifetime... To get to know who we truly are. 💛💛💛
I feel very uncomfortable in my own home because we live in a three bedroom one bathroom house and there are 7 People in my family. I don’t get any privacy at all and I get to see both my parents once or twice a week and my siblings treat me absolutely horribly and I watch my 3 year old brother every day. I feel like I should run away or do something because I don’t feel like anyone loves me and that I’m wanted. I don’t think anyone cares or notices either. Also I’m not aloud to talk to my dads side of the family because of family matters and my moms side of the family never answers any of my calls or texts. Also the “family matters” I was talking about got us kicked out of our former home so we were struggling for a bit until we moved into this house. Some days I just feel that I shouldn’t be here, but I want to be. I’m just trying to look forward to high school and at some point graduation so I can be on my own and not have to deal with everyone and everything and so I can do my own thing. And that’s the only thing that gets me up in the morning. If anyone has advice it would be appreciated.
Hello sweet soul! I'm sorry it took a few days to reply, and I just wanted to acknowledge what you're going through and to let you know that you are very much loved, wanted and needed on this planet. Even in those times when people close to you are not openly expressing that to you in words or action, and may not be there with you often to support you, please know that across the world there are people who care and we want you to know you are SO loved. I send you every best wish for your path forward, for your high school and graduation and all the good things that are coming, and in those challenging times just know that you are not alone. I ask that life wraps love and blessings around you!!
I have problems with my older sister she always try to make me feel that im doing things bad or imnot able to and that she is the best in everthing she does all perfect haha Never mind what i do she always is with a big ego, i dont trust her, my father passed away and even i felt many times away from him because of her. now although i try to healing and understanding always i have that feeling she is someway trying to make me feel down for any reason... is pretty sad because i will surely be away from that soon but my mother is telling me is my fault or i have to change or understand more i will never under value myself for anybody else...
I am actually pretty funny and playful around my family and friends but in school I just feel like I dont belong and I act in a very conservative way. Like totally opposite of who I am.
I hear you, sometimes that can be because we feel safe with our family and friends and trust the interactions are going to be supportive and positive, and then out in the world we might not feel that type of connection or trust so we hold back the fullness of who we are. Step by step we can cultivate a sense of inner safety and trust in ourselves, to be more relaxed in unknown situations or with other people.
@@Bernadette_Logue thank you, I truly understand now . 😊
for me this is true when I am around white people. I change myself so that they can't stereotype me into a box... but it is really exhausting and I would rather be myself and if they stereotype me then I can just stop conversating with them...
Hey Renee. Totally be yourself. If other people stereotype you it says nothing about you and everything about them. And your empowerment rests in shining your full glorious self and having the free will choice about who to surround yourself with. 😊💛
Saaaame!!! But i also feel this way around black people (im black myself) i speak very articulate and proper but sometimes i also speak with slang and whatnot and alot of nonblack ppl stereotype me calling me "mama" or "shorty" or changing the way they speak. Yet i speak too proper for certain black ppl lol its tike we start just saying f*ck it and be our selves a billion percent! If they dont like it, oh well
I don't know why i feel this around my clean good friends, I'm so sick of this
I hide my ig story from some cousins ..i behave different around different people and i don't know how can i be " ME" and myself .. i wanna Love myself but i can't. Sometimes i hide my favourite things.. And i'm so weak ..like i'm so sensitive .. i feel like i don't have a personality.. i can't with this 😔
Hi Ardra, I hear you. You're definitely not alone in feeling this way, many people go through a similar experience and the good news is... there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with you. You are not weak, you're an incredible, precious, beautiful, unique being. And your sensitivity is your GIFT! So often in this world we can feel like being sensitive and highly self aware and aware of others, is a weakness or a difficulty we have to live with. And yes it can make aspects of life more challenging than people who seem less sensitive. But the truth is that sensitivity is a huge gift, it can lead to more evolved self awareness, more attuned intuition, more creativity and so on. It can be painful to do with other people if they are judgmental, or if we fear that they won't like us or they will judge that things we say, do, how we look etc. The life journey is certainly one of learning and practicing how to accept ourselves, how to like ourselves, then love ourselves, and how to be proud of who we are, and know that any judgement or dislike that we may encounter from other people... that has nothing to do with us. That is their world view, that is their lens they look through. Sometimes it can be helpful to look at the real root cause of the self consciousness... e.g what if I was to be me, and what if all the people I know saw the real me, and did see what I'm doing and what if I didn't hide my favorite things? Then what? What is the worst case scenario? That can lead us to pinpoint the true fear.... fear of judgement, fear or rejection etc Then we can deal with that true root cause issue... the fear. I love the tool of EFT (also called Tapping) for addressing anxiety and fears of this nature.
I'm sending much love your way.
B
@@Bernadette_Logue Sorry, found this late... But thank you so much for taking your time and writing this for me.. It means alot 💖
I've just made a new friend with a new girl at my school and I feel like I can't be myself for some reason. Maybe I think she's better than me deep down because she appears to be (prettier, more confident, etc.) But I also would like to get to know her better and be myself so I can do this. So hopefully I won't feel as awkward soon.
Sending warmest wishes and love your way, and just remember in all your friendships with anyone, that you are amazing, you are good enough, you are smart, you have so much to offer, you are valuable and they are also very lucky to have you as a friend. The more we love ourselves and remember this, the easier it is to relax around other people.
she so amrt that makes perfect sense
Am I not able to be myself around certain people? Yes, if by certain people you mean everybody, then yes
Hey Patrick. I hear you. I hope you'll find the videos and audios here supportive for your journey. We have loads of free tools for helping with everything from social anxiety to self belief to mind mastery and self love. B 💖
The Daily Positive I will keep watching
😊🌸
Very helpful. Thank you :)
You're welcome Nadia!! :)
Well, there is this one girl in my class and she was my best friend until 7th grade but now things are so different between us. We had this big fight and then I thought maybe I ll say sorry even though it was not my fault but still she is the same. Whenever I talk to her now I am unable to breathe, I start trembling and shivering and m not able to sleep. Whenever I text her, she never really replies so I delete it cuz I feel anxious...What can I do? I am soo much in trouble. It would be great if you help me out...
Thank you for your message and sorry for the late reply. Have you talked with your parents or a trusted adult about how you're feeling? Often it's so helpful to get that in person support with people at home in your family or through school e.g guidance counsellor, who can give you support face to face and tips to suit your situation. These types of challenges are common and we all go through tough situations like this on our journey, so please know that you are not alone. To help find calm, when you're upset and feel like you can't breathe, try slow deep conscious breathing, breathing all the way down into your belly slowly to the count of 3 and then out slowly to the count of 4. It can help to sit quietly with your eyes closed and do that breathing/counting to create more calm inside the mind and body. But the best recommendation is to get support from your parents, family, guidance counsellor or trusted adult where you live so you have that face to face help to guide you through the situation. With warmest wishes, B
I noticed that it is “ certain “ people not everyone.
Even after talking to them for a minute I would know if I’m comfortable with them or not .. that’s so weird
I’m not an awkward person but when somebody is awkward it makes me feel weird Nd makes me awkward too is this normal ? Or ?
Hey, oh yes I totally know what you mean. If another person is feeling uncomfortable/awkward that is very real energy, and that energy and uneasiness can effect other people around them. The more you are with authentic relaxed energy/people, typically the more relaxed and at ease you will feel. Just notice it when it happens, and breathe and see if you can relax your body as you breathe and witness the person. Also perhaps imagine sending loving energy from your heart to their heart, as a way to relax yourself and also to supportively open up the energy for that person to find their own comfort to be themselves. But yes... it's quite normal to feel uncomfortable when others are awkward for sure! :) Wishing you the best! B
When I'm around people im uncomfortable with I usually just standing walking around looking around while everyone talks an what not or i go in a different area an stand an look around, I don't even know what to say an it's like crap
Hey Nathaniel, I hear you and understand that must be difficult and feel uncomfortable. Please know that you're not alone and many people experience the same type of discomfort in social situations, not feeling at ease, perhaps not know what to say or do. I hope the audios and videos on this channel will help you to find a sense of peace and confidence, and knowing that who you are right now (just as you are and just as you were born) is more than enough and awesome. B :)
iam not comtble around many.people.its very3 hard😢icanot come over it idont think iwill over comeout from this.😢even partying or some special ocasion icancel it many time
I understand and it can feel scary and isolating when we have social anxiety and discomfort around other people. I have a video on the channel just on that topic which might be helpful as a next resource. Love, B 💛
The only thing I wish I could do is talk to a girl but I've been avoiding them for 11 years because people tell me to "focus on your hobbies". So now whenever I see a girl that looks pretty I tell myself to avoid it.
Opening up for change is exciting but can be scary. Like the change of wanting to talk to new people where previously you had avoided it. Start by noticing the unhelpful self talk/thoughts and challenging that, considering what you really want for yourself and your life now going forward, then choosing new perspectives that work better for you. 😊
@@Bernadette_Logue I dont get it.
@@Bernadette_Logue I've been ignoring things because I want to see if things will just fall into place out of the blue, just waiting around for a fluke.
I can't be myself around my mom and dad
I'm so uneasy around em if I'm myself