5 Ways Trauma Is Keeping You Single
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- Опубликовано: 6 фев 2025
- Unresolved trauma can lead to trust issues, low self esteem, controlling behaviours, difficulties dealing with conflicts, and loneliness when it comes to relationships and love life. Dive deep into the world of unresolved trauma and understand its profound effects on your interpersonal connections. If this is your first time watching our videos, leave in our comments how would you like to see us improve our content. Also, we are on a mission to get to 15 million subscribers by the end of the year to impact more lives, and improve elevate the world's mental wellness, do subscribe and support us by sharing our videos.
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Timestamps
1). Lack of trust 0:56
2). Low self-esteem 1:26
3). Controlling behaviours 2:04
4). Conflict aversion 2:37
5). Loneliness 3:17
We shed light on various forms of trauma, including PTSD, complex trauma, and childhood trauma, and discuss how they can shape our perspectives, behaviors, and emotional responses within relationships.
So, in this video, we will explore five ways in which trauma can ruin our love lives. Whether you've personally experienced trauma or want to gain a deeper understanding of its effects, this video is a must-watch.
Are you suffering from emotional trauma but not know it? We have a video on that too: • 6 Signs You Have Emoti...
#trauma #love #cptsd
Writer: Chloe Avenasa
Editor: Isadora Ho
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Voice Over: Amanda Silvera ( / amandasilvera )
Animator: AwesomeKickArt
RUclips Manager: Cindy Cheong
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Official Discord: / discord
References:
Aguirre, L. (2021, Jun 3). 5 Ways Trauma Could Impact Your Dating Life. Psychology Today. www.psychologytoday.co
Gunther, R. (2016, Mar 16). When Trauma Disrupts Love. Psychology Today. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/rediscovering-love/201603/when-trauma-disrupts-love
Weber, J. P. (2018, Feb 7). When Past Romantic Trauma Damages Your Current Relationship. Psychology Today. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/having-sex-wanting-intimacy/201802/when-past-romantic-trauma-damages-your-current-relationship
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We are on a mission to get to 15 million subscribers by the end of the year to impact more lives, and improve and elevate the world's mental wellness, do subscribe and support us by sharing our videos.
W
bro why you gotta roast me with the parenthesis???🤣🤣🤣
Hi psych2go I really need help with what actually is controlling me in my mental health how I feel whit my friends I always feel left behind and always alone also I’m really struggling with what to say to them bc I have told them a lot but I don’t know if they understand me enough psych2go please help!
@@sleek9081 (lmao)
@@margitjohnsen3122 Thank you for sharing, sometimes, loneliness can be difficult for others especially younger people to admit they are feeling. However, you can always show them a video about it or you can try to be okay with the fact that not everyone has to completely understand what you are going through. Let us know if this somewhat helps.
Timestamps
1). Lack of trust 0:56
2). Low self-esteem 1:26
3). Controlling behaviours 2:04
4). Conflict aversion 2:37
5). Loneliness 3:17
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Damn why i got pretty much all of these god damn
@@Xtpfr looks like you hit the jackpot
Shiiit.
@@A55a551n Yayyy my prize is therapy
@@kyokosquid7434 ?????
I was so broken that after my gf said "she'd always be with me" I had panic attacks, because that is what people that abandoned me would say.
She had to deal with a lot of crap for a while, like me literally not letting her come close, and the only thing she could do to make me feel better was stay there, trying to hug me until I finally could let myself cave.
I love that girl.
Lol yeah that's what they all say.. "I'll never leave you", "I'll always be with you I promise", I can't live without you" and then they cheat on you 😂
The definition is found, strangely enough, in "Wreck-it Ralph". Felix tells Tamora that she's "one dynamite gal", triggering her trauma.
Everyone has a trigger word or phrase, and it's sad when someone stumbles upon it by accident.
@@blackbullet4254And I remember what she said to me,
How she swore it never would end
I remember how she held me
Oh so tight
Wish I didn't know now
What I didn't know then..."
"Against the Wind", Bob Seger
She must realy care about you she is a keeper.
Definitely find myself struggling with repressing feelings and loneliness at times, but I’m thankful that I’ve been finding healthier ways to come out of those moments.
Thank you for your comment. If you don't mind my asking, what are some "healtier ways" to let the emotion out? Can you share any tips with us?
I like how trauma is defined. I was afraid to use that word. It implies that I was abused when I wasn’t. There was a lot of stressful moments over the years. It all comes out as the things you mentioned. And those shock others and traumatize them!
Glad that this video could resonate accurately for you. Is there a follow up topic you would like to see?
@@Psych2go Yes! How to recognize a a meltdown and emotional flashbacks and take appropriate action. My mistake is talking about what is going on in my head when others ask what’s wrong. I should just say I need some rest and then go home. Or if it’s severe, seeing the doctor is a good idea. But my perception changes and it’s hard to recognize. Then it’s too late and I say too much and sound like a crazy talker.
Thank you. Recognizing melt downs and emotional flashbacks are important skills to have. We'll take this idea to the team :)
5 ways trauma can affect your love life
0:56 lack of trust
1:26 low self esteem
2:04 controlling behaviors
2:37 conflict aversion
3:18 loneliness
Thank you ❤
I already messed up a healthy relationship with this girl. I am working on myself hoping she'll come back, if she feels close and safe around me.
Just needed to vent a bit:
Lately past few months I noticed myself going off of my schedule multiple times. Realized I started having some bad habits again, and I was getting tired of going off my schedule since everything is so nice when I'm on it. Then realized that my thought processes and mental barriers were leftover from childhood trauma. So while I kinda feel like I just uncorked a dam and my negative emotions can flood me again, I feel like I can actually tackle the issues I have now because I have people that I love and they care about me.
Originally the emotions were too strong for me to tackle, so I just kinda ignored problems, and made myself emotionally numb as much as possible just so I could get myself to be able to do things. Thing is when I was a kid, if I didn't do that I'd cry myself to sleep since my emotions were too strong. Hard to do things if you're crying. Later on in life I just was afraid of being one of those people that let the victim mentality dictate everything in their life, so I continued to ignore those problems.
But yeah, past couple days been looking at videos related to trauma, and it's like looking into the eyes of the big bad super boss of life that is gonna be a pain in the butt that'll take a long time to defeat.
0:56 Lack of trust - It's very rare for compliments to actually make me feel better since a lot of the time people used it before trying to get away with something. So it made me not trust people. Also, everytime I get a compliment, my mind goes "Do I deserve this compliment? No, I don't. They are just saying that because they have low standards/ just because they just want to say it"... I only realized this the other day when I was watching a random relaxation video out of curiosity, and they added some positive affirmations in it, which I didn't know was a thing and immediately thought wouldn't work. Funnily enough it did and I felt happy from the compliment. Since it probably bypassed my mind doing the whole self-doubt and being cautious of someone else's intentions since I knew it was just a random video, and I'd probably never see the creator of the video ever again. This is one of the big reasons recently that made me think "oh dang, is that trauma still effecting me? I thought I was all done with that nonsense!"
1:26 Low self-esteem - Too often in my relationships I've told the other person "you should find someone better". The finding familiarity in a toxic relationship kinda scares me though, since that did happen one time, and honestly I feel like it could happen again at this particular moment. Again I am going to go try resolving all this stuff now that I know it's still effecting me.
2:04 Controlling behaviors - Clinginess and dependency for sure. I often start forgetting about myself entirely so I can do stuff for them. Though when I do realize I am doing that (usually when life outside of the relationship starts declining), I'll start focusing too much on other things in my life, usually telling them to find someone else because I know I'll just keep getting too focused on them. Being controlling, not really, since it usually ends up with me wanting to do what they want to do (part of that is because I have no idea what I want in life, but making them happy makes me happy. Though recently I've been thinking about what is fake happiness and what is real happiness)
2:37 Conflict aversion - My emotions were far too sensitive to not avoid all sources of conflict at all times growing up. Heck, even though my emotions have gotten far better since then, I still struggle when there's conflicts when people start getting emotional. I tend to try to resolve conflicts before they can get big enough for people to start going crazy.
3:17 Loneliness - I've never been the best at explaining how I feel since it can be hard to find the right words. It's actually one of the reasons why I tend to make big walls of text like this. It takes more time to say less since I have to think of what's on my mind, and find words to reduce what I say (also I'm a fast typer). Struggling to stay present in company of significant other? Well I figured that was a general thing, not just a relationship thing. Also I've mentioning the "you belong with someone else" thing. Physical intimacy is something I still struggle with a lot, but no where near as bad as it used to be since I've been in a lot of intimate settings since then, where people have made my emotions happy in that setting.
Having positive interactions with people in my adult life has helped a lot, but now that I know it still effected me, I'm gonna try killing off whatever is left of this trauma stuff by attacking the source now that I have the strength and safety to do so!
If you dont already know it sounds like you just need to talk about it with a special person in your life.
@@RainaWilkins Yeah. I've been planning on spending a few nights/weeks talking about it since I made this comment (pretty sure a while before that to). I've just been trying to work up the courage and stuff.
Also my brain is pulling out some of the ol' tricks when I'm tired, and I'll be going "Oh. look I have this thing I need to do. Oh and this thing to. That has to come first!". Basically finding every excuse to not to talk it out.
I did pick up journaling again a few days ago, and just monitoring everything again (cause I got sick recently so I stopped and forgot to start again), so it's kinda why I caught myself doing that, and catching myself doing other things. So Monday I'm gonna poke a few friends about this. Though with something that has effected way more habits and personality traits that I currently have when I thought it wasn't effecting me all these years, I am a bit worried. Can't let my brain put it off anymore though!
I understand your feelings I know it can be hard but you need to just talk to the first trustworthy person you see. I believe in you.👍😄😊
I've been lead on and had games played with my emotions enough times that I tend to just brush off compliments as "they're just trying to be nice, they don't actually mean it." Especially when it comes to women, I legitimately cannot tell what's real anymore. Suffice it to say, this video definitely applies to me, and definitely spoke to me.
This really resonated with me...I ended a relationship 3months ago, we were together for 8 months but towards the end I think the trauma I had did play a role and led me to end things. Long story short, I wasn't happy, and I felt like the relationship had brought the worst out of me. I do want to add...my ex, she's a good person. Things may have not worked out be she's not a bad person. The break up really flared things for me as I felt guilty and hated myself, she was hurt from the break up (I blamed myself for that) and I felt a lot of loneliness and was doubting if I did the right thing. Followed by me feeling like I wasn't good enough to be loved ever again. Since then I've been able to self reflect on what I can do to be better though. Sorry for the long winded comment, I rarely comment on videos but this was helpful, thank you for the great content that you all have been producing.
Your lines do feel very wholesome and healthy! Seems like you are on the right way towards the loving, fulfilling relationship that you deserve, no matter how much you have suffered in the past.
Take good care of yourself and keep on the good self-work!😊
@@silviaberi Thank you so much for the kind words! It brought a smile to my face reading your reply, I really appreciate it. I'm doing my best 🙏
As someone who, according to my aunt, went thought emotional manipulation and abuse, I have a really hard time getting into romantic relationships. I think points 2 and 4 summarise the most my problems. Ive recently started dating someone after a long time if being single and I'm always on edge and stressed wondering if I'm doing something wrong, even after she told me that she was happy with how things were right now, I'm still scared
Most of your uploaded videos whent it comes to trauma and depression always makes me cry..but thank you..because somehow i can understand why i am acting and behaving like this...
I’ve been thinking more lately about the ways I self sabotage, especially the things I’ve come to consider as just normal. I feel bad for my partner having to deal with the stuff I’m still working through, but he always reassures me that I shouldn’t feel guilty about it, everyone struggles with stuff.
loneliness is my trauma. people I thought were my friends have randomly switched, and started to ignore me. When I ask why they ignore me it’s usually a lie. Then the constant lies and finding out the real reason has gave me a great deal of mistrust.
Same plus many things here
“if you have one” ouch, you didn’t have to call us lonely people out like that
lol true
Omg this perfectly describes my last boyfriend. I broke up with him about a month ago. Except for being controlling and not being emotionally invested in the relationship. Those were 2 things he didn’t have a problem with. For the record, I broke up with him mostly because we were in different places in life but the affects of his trauma certainly didn’t help and I sincerely hope he can get the help he needs because I fear it will impact his next relationship, if he can’t begin to heal from his trauma.
Omg I needed this in a right time! 😭🌼✨
Life is a series of traumas, some worse and more scaring than others, but it is also a series of joys. I have learned sort of a mental flexibility to ride the waves, surf the eye of the storm. I am just now coming off the worst 7 years of my life with the last year being the worst. I lost suddenly 2 of the 3 most important men in my life, my big brother then my fiancé 4 months later. My father has beginning dementia, and he is 86, so he will be gone to soon as well. I have found that though I care for others, I just haven't found anyone I am willing to share my life with. I have struggled hard to regain happiness and make it to the light at the end of this tunnel and I don't want to disrupt my peace with the wrong person. The problem is, so far, I am happier alone than with anyone I have come across. I want someone, but no one seems to fit my hard earned life. I don't think like most people, so that makes me a tough match.
This video is important for my life right now. And the information in it is invaluable.
After two engagement and one love of my life girlfriend all have cheated on me and verbally abused me 1 got pregnant with another man and said it was mine for a couple of months only to confess it wasn't mine.
Another was hitting me and went for me with a razor and left a scar on my finger and more.
At 32 years old I've actually had enough of dating and see women in a whole new light a very negative light.
I'm avoiding getting close to women and refusing to get any feelings for them, I've just had enough honestly my life has been destroyed by these women I'm not allowing another one do it again.
love the art style
This is so true ❤ I love whoever makes this as a friend
I think that my trauma, having had multiple abusive and violent exes, and growing up with several undiagnosed major mental and physical health problems, have made me basically undatable. People don't want someone who cannot contribute to a relationship because they're too guarded, too volatile, or in too much pain. Having a panic attack on a first date is usually a major red flag for most people.
but are you getting help?
Sometimes situations in a new relationship can trigger trauma like lack of trust which makes it even worse.
I still to this day don’t trust until respect has been earned. I didn’t trust my wife until about three months ago and we’ve been together for five years.
@@buggus0034 I can understand, things like that take time to build it's not just a given.
I feel kinda sad that I’m everything but one on this list, but feel proud that I’m getting therapy to help with the issues ❤
She violated us with that "if you have one" 💀
It’s like *megamind meme here* she’s saying no bitches
am i the only one who didn't even notice ;-;
Trauma is so hard to get through but once you do it’s amazing! Never give up ❤
“Lonely~, I’m Mr. Lonely~
I have nobody~ for my own.”
I can relate to all of this, due to emotional trauma when I as little. Also,I dealt with infidelity which makes things harder. So thank you for this video to help me understand why I’m feeling this way.
I had back then a relationship that had a lot of the shown problems here.
Especially that she was accusing me always of having another girlfriend or just directly giving me the cold shoulder.
I really started suffering from the "i´m not good enough for her". And it´s still kinda haunting me today.
But i just dismissed it as a "flaw" of hers. Well i paid the price for that.
Damn, completely read me. Just in general, not even in regards to a romantic relationship. I have a few of the issues in any relationship.
I can relate to all these things, especially lack of trust and low self esteem.
Thank you for the tips! Loved the video!
"if you have one" key word is if. My trauma literally destroyed my love life before it could even flourish. I'm 26 and never had a relationship or even be intimate, this was not voluntary, I wanted once since I was very young. But with a combination of hanging out with weirdos, never getting out there till I got to college, even then I could not get anyone to date me because I was completely clueless and just kept getting turned down/ghosted, addiction to porn at a very young age. In all honesty I fucking hate the fact that when I tell people they shocked I tell them I'm single yet say"oh it will come don't worry". I was tolled I was a late bloomer etc, but I dint buy it. I kept digging till I found out all the traumatic wounds I was carrying. It all made sense now. At least I know what to do.
You don't mean like .. kill yourself do you?
It's good that you went get answers for yourself and not just listen to other people
This was so Helpful Thank You 🙏🔮💜
Thank you for making videos like this
Trauma can definitely change a relationship, unless they too have been traumatized by something. My baby and I have been in childhood abandonment, neglect, abuse, and violent upbringing. Our relationship is stronger than ever because we went thru the same kind of hell. 😂
I dealt with some major trauma as far as both physical and mental health issues personally and family who have histories of both disabilities and generational and racial trauma. But, when I tell people that I'm fine, it's a mask I put up to tell people that I need to be left alone.
Ok now I can see where my mom's messed-up sense of dearly loving me went south. I know without her saying it that she has unhealed traumas of her own. I already swore not to be like her and while it isn't easy, I feel a lot more satisfied that I now have a better relationship with myself that can slowly go to others. If I can't love myself, how can I love others? I don't want to hear myself answer with "Never".
Several of thee do, indeed, "resonate" with me . . . but in a very stragne way: these describe some of my behavior not in love, but at WORK. Having struggled, as a disabled person, until after the age of 40 to find my first steady job, I subtly show most or all of thse behaviors in the workplace, and I can even think of incidents from today!
I was in a depressive episode for about a week and a half recently. And it was within that period that I realized that a lot of the reasons why I'm still single at age 27, has a lot to do with underlying traumas that really destroyed my own self-confidence and self-worth when I was a child.
Won't go into too much detail, but constant alienation due to mild learning disabilities, and a death threat in the third grade, basically made me mistrust people's intentions, and alienated me from people at a critical age for socialization learning skills. That everyone was going to hurt me, because that was just my luck.
It's funny because my sister resented me because I had so much attention because of my learning disabilities, but I resented her because everything seemed to just naturally go her way and be easier for her. (We're adults now, so that's not a problem for us anymore)
It's only recently I've been trying to reinvent myself, and try to get out, and make new friends and hopefully relationships.
Wish me luck, and to my fellow trauma babies, you're not alone. Your traumas may have defined your past, but they don't have to be your present. We will only grow, when we find ways to learn to trust again.
The last positive quote has got me thinking about accepting my abusive ex’s apologies and try to get hurt again 😂
Well that neatly summed up most of the problems I have.
While I shouldn't have trauma because I have had a great life with a wonderful family and a lot of things some people could only dream of, part of me thinks I do have some form of trauma because of past lies from my anxiety or other struggles I have gone through. I also have a habit of internalizing others' problems. Memorizing them so I can learn to avoid them. So some of these points were somewhat relatable. I think I'm getting better, though, and videos like these have definitely helped
didnt know this video was new! love it.
HEY GOOD MORNING MY FRIENDS AND KNOW FAMILY, I HAVE TO GO BACK TO LAY DOWN SO I CAN GET UP AND GO OUT TO KEEP AWAY FROM THE CERAP IN THE HOUSE, INTELL LATER ON MY FRIENDS. HAVE A BLESSED DAY. TEE 💯🙏💙💪🏆
Point #2 regarding self-esteem really spoke to me. I had no luck with dating or crushes in middle school and high school and I gradually took all of that to mean that I was physically unattractive, emotionally unattractive, just flat-out not good enough and that as long as a better option was available, then I'd be passed up for that. Then in college, I met someone and we had a relationship for over two years. In what wound up being our final months together, that person went on to cheat on me multiple times with multiple partners. While they had the decency to confess these instances of infidelity to me and I forgave them the first two times, the third time was enough and I broke it off. But that only confirmed how I'd felt about myself before the relationship, that now it was official that I was not boyfriend material and that if someone, anyone, who possessed a better set of qualities in any way was around, I'd be passed up for them and that despite my best efforts, I just wasn't and would never be good enough for anyone. That relationship ended over twenty years ago and I've been single ever since. I figure that no one likes me as a potential romantic partner and that anyone who does will eventually come to their senses and bail.
Started dating this guy 3 months ago… just 2 weeks into it this guy flips his shit because I didn’t call him that night… he lashed out and was yelling on the phone… then week after that went to visit my daughter.. didn’t get home til late that evening.. he asked me why I am getting home that late.. etc… trust issues BIG TIME.. insecurities BIG TINE … lashed out ALL THE TIME..now I know why he couldn’t keep a relationship. The guy told me he has childhood trauma.. I believe him. Told him to seek help because he will continue to be this way in relationships. Wish him the best. ❤
Something not touched on here is that these are learned behaviors, reactions to an input. When people do things that you don't like you develop defense mechanisms to protect yourself.
That "if you have one"
Hit me like a knife bruising through my chest.
EMOTIONAL DAMAGE
Thanks for sharing
Early in life, I somehow caught onto a subconscious notion that homosexuality is wrong, yet it seems to have been more than a little skewed.
I’ve never had an issue with the LGBTQIA+ community, and have been open-minded of folks from all walks of life from the start (I enjoy meeting those whose backgrounds and ways of living are different than what I find “familiar,” whatever that means).
Yet for some reason I latched onto an irrational-in-hindsight belief that I was straight, only realising a little over five years ago that I was gay all along (and that I’d “wasted” three decades totally oblivious of being trapped in the closet), a belief that intensified in the presence of my disconcertingly homophobic father.
As with a lot of these repressed personality traits, it turns out that this last point was the very reason I came to deny the idea of being gay, as his personality is the polar opposite of mine in virtually every way.
Where I am open-minded and tolerant of others, he is harshly critical and paranoid of anyone he deems too different; in this “walking on eggshells” family dynamic, I subconsciously locked away my most crucial traits to keep the peace, and in so doing risked a lot of shaky ground later in life.
I’m still having to cope with aftershocks as more and more suppressed trauma is gradually unpacked and resolved, most of it alone (this is why meeting others with similar burdens could be of mutual beneficence).
This is several topics I've been mulling over in my current situation. Will definitely help me bring things up and discuss with my counselor! Thank you!
Let us know how it all goes!
This is all me thanks 🥰
Just from the title alone, I feel seen!
Yes. Especially loneliness and feelings of non-worth.
Nice video. I love your animation. Everytime I see a sad one I want to cuddle with them.
Low self esteem hit so hard. The moment I try to talk to a cute girl, my mind starts playing with the idea that she’s outta my league or that I’ll be made fun of for trying.
I’m hoping working out will build a sense of confidence instead of the brain going static when trying to keep the thought train rolling.
I think real low self esteem would prevent you from even trying
Don’t even consider the rejection. You have control of your side of the present, if she rejects you that’s on her. You made an effort and rejection gets easier the more it happens. Conversation is a skill. Keep lifting, but don’t stop working out the, “Rizz” or whatever the kids call it these days.
With me its all the pain and suffering of getting dumped. The awful jealousy you feel. Hell really.
Can confirm i suffer from all of these except controlling behavior due to emotional abuse as a child.
I have Complex PTSD, Prolonged Grief and an acquired brain injury. I am desperately lony. I have never been able to have any relationships or friendships because I feel unsafe all the time. I had some EMDR which was very good, but I can't afford more therapy. I feel so desperate.
Gosh, I really hate how instantly relatable 1, 2, and 5 were ;_;
This is basically me in a nutshell, but at 40yrs old and loads of meds and therapy, I have come to the conclusion that I’m not going to get better. However, I am okay with this now because it will keep me from getting hurt. I’m going to be okay with being alone for the rest of my life because at the end of the day, the only person you can trust is yourself, and no one else really cares.
HEY MY FRIENDS I JUST WANTED TO STOP BY TO SEE HOW EVERYONE IS DOING THIS EVENING, WELL I'M GOING TO GET SOME SLEEP NOW INTELL LATER ON MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY. TEE 💯🙏💪💙🏆
I enjoy watching your informative videos, I gain more knowledge from watching your videos. 😊
I’ve dealt with a lot of trauma. I’m trying to work through it, but I’ve been dealing with it and abuse from about 10 years old to 27 when i finally moved out. It’s a long path to walk, but fiancé and i made our apartment a safe place for us. Just. Tonight (July 4, 2023) is rough because of fireworks. They scare me badly because big loud sudden noises. I actually have minor ptsd from a gun shot in parking lot of where I used to work last year
Im gonna say this now, I love how you reference like, all my favorite thing! Especially Omori and the Dream SMP in your really old videos!
All of it applies to me.
I suffer from Disorganized attachment style: I want to be in a relationship, however I fear intimacy and being less than for someone.
I wish i could totally get over all of my trauma.
Can you do a video about losing a best friend because they were toxic. Or one on just toxic relationships in general.
Early gang 👇🏻
that’s me!
What's up, Dub?
You beat me to it!
Me🙋
Yup
Mistrust , controlling, avse disagreements, loneliness....I have all these signs 🙂
dam is this a video or a reading of my life
(thx for the self awareness)
Well i definitely have conflict aversion and a few times a day feelings of loneliness but those are just part of a much bigger problem
Oh my God this is so me, I wished this video came out earlier because my breakup with my gf was 3½ months ago, it's so hard to forgive myself because I know it was mostly my fault
There are three channels now in my server that you can talk about mental health and self-care
When trauma just seems like a wake up call to let you know that the world really is a horrible place, that people are terrible and take some kind of sadistic glee in hurting you, and that there's no such thing as a safe place, you realize that loneliness is a small price to pay to minimize the pain in your life.
Got it, I'll always be single. Luckily I never had to deal with relationships, since I'm aware that I'm a mess and I'll just hurt everyone who tries to get close to me anyway.
5/5, all true.
Good thing I don't have an SO then; now I only have to deal with the loneliness...
This definitely is me 😓 minus the cheating part. More of family and existing
It's ruining it in that i can't even start one. Let alone be secure with my best friends.
Great vid
I always have self trauma sometimes whenever I have a gf. Last time I had one, I tried to tell her about a conversation I had with her and it made her feel uncomfortable and betrayed, and a week later, I ended up breaking up with my gf at school while we talked with the school counselor which took up my whole ASL class.
I have major trust issues 🙁 I feel like they’ll backstab me in any moment so I don’t open up so easily
Well, that put a lot of puzzles in place 😢 everything about is is my experience
In the end of everything that has happened to me i always try thinking positive because i have my "mask" to cover up all those hellish experience that has permanently scarred me mentally and ive been wearing that mask for my whole life, adding more burden to my mental health and eventually making me the saddest person that hides it all with a fake smile that my past me hated. Im still doing bad and i have no clue what im doing with my first and last time to experience life
I have body trauma from being hit and beat by pretty much every male role model in my life. So even years later when a guy hugs me my body freezes up and goes into fight or flight. I'm pretty much a lesbian now because of it 🗿
Edit: my mind has moved on but my body has not.
Yeah. I don’t exactly know what my trauma was but anytime someone is near my back or my legs I’ll freak out a little bit and try to get away.
And no matter what I’m always tense around guys. No matter what characteristics they have.
Congratulations on your coming out though, you can go be with someone you truly want to be with, it your business of course that you want to explore a lot of different options ❤️ I experienced a similar situation but with internalized biphobia, I'm pansexual with a strong female preference.
“5 ways trauma can affect your love life”
*I F Y O U H A V E O N E*
I have BPD and my ex-fiancé has c-PTSD. 7+ years together. The last 2+ years have been the worst thing I’ve ever felt as far as loss, like, personal losses not family or stuff like that. We had a plan to try and work it out but almost every day, almost all day for 5 years. It dwindled to twice a week, then once a week, then just a dinner once to twice a week, to 1 1/2 to 3 months apart randomly through out those 2+years at the end.
*All her and her counselors idea.*
Well, me and my counselor didn’t make plans to make my relationship worse, I was working on trying to get her to care about me again.
I was working on me being better and trying to keep her.
She was working on herself and to let go of me.
I feel like I’m dying. Was final only a short while. I mean, I’ll be fine, just right now... 😔
+Psych2GoTv *Being an autist saddled with ’üpothümía, whom the school systems o' the 1970's and '80's failed, I discovered social and emotional development arrested at mid-infancy, therefore have a general agnosis on the emotional components o' relationships, thus an Immature Attachment Style.* Thanks anyway for the list of symptoms for complex trauma:
0:56 *1. Lack of Trust:* I never developed a sense of/for emotional safety due to unconscious emotional blocks and other mental vulnerabilities pathognomonic of Kanner's syndrome.
1:25 *2. Low Self-Esteem:* I never think of self-worth either way due to the aforementioned ’üpothümía.
2:04 *3. Controlling Behaviors:* Not a factor, I lacking experience with interpersonal relations of _any_ depth due to said agnosis.
2:37 *4. Conflict Aversion:* I've a general agnosis on conflict and resolution thereof.
3:17 *5. Loneliness:* Isolation being my norm, I don't notice loneliness.
Mind you, the successful social and emotional development programs we have nowadays had _yet_ to be invented when I's in school. I therefore consider me as having a BEAR of a catch-up to execute: In fact, I require the most _elementary_ resources for SED.
I just have emotion aversion. I feel extremely uncomfortable around emotional people. The unpredictability just triggers me. I also feel uncomfortable when I know someone likes me. I don’t know why but I just have an extreme aversion to emotions and will go to extreme lengths to escape it.
Can you please make a video on how to co-OP with these trauma?
There's no listing for the pysch plushie.! 😮
I already know I need this..
Same
I just want to fix my controlling behaviour and loneliness. Therapy has been majorly useless for me (I've been to therapy for a year at least). I don't necessarily want to fix those two behaviours for a love life, I just want to feel normal.
Afterall I am well aware of the "good news" and I realise it's not really applicable to the people who you want to be loved by, and only to the people who love you
I did everything to resolve my trama. I've tried psychological sessions, talking to relatives and did the twelve step programs. nothing worked. Relationships are far and very few and don't last long. What was it I did in a past life so horrible that I deserved a traumatic childhood and having to take the blame for other's wrong doings while growing up? Loneliness is the only place I find comfort.
Have a lovely time
Definitely find it difficult to trust after being cheated on twice, possibly more, but hard to tell with online relationships. I know I was cheated on IRL though, both I couldn't tell until yrs after the break ups. Long distance relationships are pretty much the only relationships I can find after my IRL ones. But I haven't dated since before covid started here in the US, though my last few relationships were women who need to seek professional mental help before seeking a relationship. Makes my depression worse having to hear the "nobody loves me" spiel every few minutes while we're literally talking in a call hanging out trying to have fun on the same online game that we enjoy. It made me also feel like my love didn't even matter to them when I'm trying my hardest to help them feel better, but it's also mentally exhausting. And I'm not even kidding about hearing my exes "nobody loves me" spiel every few minutes while we were together. When I'm right there doing everything I can to assure them that I loved them and trying to get their heads in the game so their thoughts weren't constantly going through that endless spiral. Most of my relationships were "better off as friends" deals and I still talk to those exes from time to time which isn't very often, just when we're not working or whatever. I don't search locally anymore cause I'm not religious stuck in a religious town and my spiritual beliefs weird people out. They're kinda similar to paganism or in a sense it is and said beliefs are kinda taboo here. So it makes dating IRL pretty difficult, much easier to find a girlfriend online and insofar as I'm aware vastly different beliefs makes some rather uncomfortable conversations with both sides. No idea if anyone has made night and day different beliefs work in a relationship, but pretty sure it's just not meant to work out if it happens
Found someone I really want a healthy connection with. Wish me luck🤍
“IF I HAD ONE!”
-Mr. Turner
Trauma was a big part of my last relationship going to hell. I think both of us were busted and we just spiraled hard. We had pretty much everything on this list.