8 Short Funny Stories - Taking The Biscuit
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 8 июл 2024
- 8 Short Funny Stories, humour for the whole family! Over 2 hours of audio including:
1. Taking The Biscuit - read by James Bolam - 0:00
2. The Way To A Man's Heart - read by Julia McKenzie - 10:18
3. Edward's Problem - read by Hayley Mills - 24:51
4. Wish You Were Here - read by Penelope Keith - 44:05
5. Dear Mr Previn - read by Prunella Scales - 59:51
6. Twenty Five - read by Brian Blessed - 1:12:35
7. Goodbye Gertie - read by June Whitfield - 1:29:00
8. A Likely Story - read by Andrew Sachs -1:43:21
![mgk - I Think I’m OKAY (with YUNGBLUD) (Sad Version) [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/7AC1uqQLIg4/mqdefault.jpg)
I love ‘Taking the Biscuit’! 😂😂😂😄
For anyone bothered by the ads
Skip to the end of the video then watch the 4 second ad then hit replay it removes the ads for you
Xx
Thanks for the tip but it didn't work sadly I tried a few times
Thanks
RUclips Vanced is better
You re the best! God bless you
The Story about Bernie was simply hilarious and diabolical at once. What perfect revenge.
I have listened to these little gems numerous times over the past few years. Wonderful performances and great sound effects.. 👏 👏
*Edit: what a shame the ads have now become excessive and invasive, totally ruining the enjoyment*
I agree about the ads. Very loud and too often
Worth the time spent! Really sweet, funny and great narration. Please upload more. Thank you so much!
The first one ... "takes the biscuit" by far ... clever !
I too love KIT-KAT 😉
Thank you! Great stories! I' ve enjoyed a lot.
24:51...Narrator, Haley Mills? Wow. One of my favorite childhood actresses. Great stories. Thank you! ♥️👍
Old skool kitkat wrappers...from the days when penguins had shiny foil wrappers to...ah the good not so old days... the first story here has happened to a few people I know in real life lol..the kitkat bit anyway!
More, please! 💜 Humourous shorts, that is. Delightful and highly entertaining! Thanks so much!
Had a good giggle over that. Karma is a bitch. Thank you for sharing. Many thanks
Really appreciate all of these stories!! Thank you so very much!!!
Beautifully written. Beautifully read. They’re light hearted , thought provoking a bit melancholic, realistic, and here to make you smile.
You must remember that LOL had a different meaning once.
What a Fine pedigree of old stage, film and tv actors reading
Crying with laughter from beginning to end! Loved it. Thankyou. 🤣
Exactly how could that be?
Great stories, and it was lovely to hear James voice again, thank you
Hi
Just love the Gertie story - the young mother is just adorable. . . :}
The last one was hilarious - almost worthy of the situations of Wodehouse.
Hello.Thank you very much.
me not
Thanks for this - very enjoyable 😊
What a funny story!
The way to a mans heart is with a bullet..i looove how she read it...she really did a fantastic job and it was perfect..the writer was very john steinbeck at that moment...thankyou..
One of the brilliant English actors who've played miss Marple 😊
@@judikingsman6132 Only one true 'Miss Marple': Margaret Rutherford.
How lovely. The stories n your voice
Oh. The first story is read by James Bolam. I've been a fan since the 60s when he was one of the Likely Lads 💥😆
yup loved the stories, , first was a grabber, great laughs
Really enjoyed these stories.
Thanks Wendy!
That's a short story
Loving all the stories
I thought i could listen to this going to sleep, i dont think im gonna sleep for the next 2 hours, im interested now! Too funny! The kit kat
Love the stories every one and the terrific narrators. So intelligent British..put me right in a relaxed state of mind. They ere funny in a marvelous tongue in Check sort of way. More please.
It is extraordinary, though, that the writers of the stories do not get credited.
@@Gottenhimfella was likewise disappointed looking for date of publication.
This 1st story was actually more of a British nightmare story, don't ya think? 😂😂😂
Hugs to you, from Canada 🤗💕
0
I was listening to story No.1 and saw your comment. And just as I wondered what it meant.. I heard the end 🤣🤣. You are very right.
The story with the biscuits appears in So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish, the fourth book of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series by Douglas Adams. It was written in 1984. It is based on a true incident that happened to Adams in 1976 at a station in Cambridge.
@@user-uz2es2zp2n 😂😂 I wrote my comment over a year ago so, I'd honestly forgotten what I'd said. Imagine, my surprise when I opened up today's comments to see that, you my friend, appeared to be having some sort of medical emergency, like maybe a sorta verbally typed out stroke? "The story with the biscuits appears in So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish..."
WHY?! _Why,_ did the author assume it'd be fine to write/ talk like THAT?? Sure, it's great _now_ that I understand what's happening but, man did you _ever_ scare the crap outta me. Great job! 😂😂
Btw, it's because of people like you, that are why I love THIS site, the very most. Thank you, for your comment, the scare & making me giggle at myself. Please, have a wonderful day, *hugs 🤗💕
@@Digitalhunny Copypasted info re original biscuit story after remembering I'd heard it somewhere before and discovering it was Douglas Adams. I don't know what I find harder to believe, that my comment scared you, or that you wouldn't've read the Douglas Adams series. He was a brilliant, clever man (and also very British). I was sorry to hear the biscuits had been replaced by a Kitkat. Recommend you read Douglas Adams, (second only to Terry Pratchett imo), and be wary when eating biscuits in public places. Prob best to avoid KitKats altogether.
Lovely...
i just yelled bruh so loud at the first one
LoL 🤣 1 of those great British saying's'Soft in the head'!! We're definitely a funny lot 😅 These stories must be ancient because of how long it's been since ambulance people carried strecher's Plus the 1st & 4th good lol 🤣 KAZ🇬🇧😋😋😋
Early 90's
I liked the first story
This last story is great ☺️😜
Thank you love.
Love James' narration!
gay
The first one was hilarious!
Enjoyed every minute, MangoHead Likes
Enjoyable simple stories.
The story with the biscuits appears in So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish, the fourth book of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series by Douglas Adams. It was written in 1984. It is based on a true incident that happened to Adams in 1976 at a station in Cambridge.
I'm listening to this as I eat a kit-kat with my left hand.
Are you sure it's yours?
Loved the first story
Same 😂
none loves u
@@YSLbogdann what do you mean??
The story with the biscuits appears in So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish, the fourth book of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series by Douglas Adams. It was written in 1984. It is based on a true incident that happened to Adams in 1976 at a station in Cambridge.
I'd forgotten why I had previously abandoned these well read stories and then
....the sodding advertisement interruptions🤯 began!! Abandoning them again.
I have found that the ads mostly stop.
One should note the full meaning of "humour," as in "the" humours, and that the insignia is, after all, and 8 ball, as in, "being behind the." But exquisite short stories, notwithstanding. Thank you.
Looking for more stories like these
Loved the furs story
I knew there would be a catch in the first story lol.
Yes, but the writer (I thought) quite cleverly drew a red herring across the trail for those who were sure he was going to discover his own packet when he dropped something on the floor.
These remind me of some of Raol Dahl's stories,. Excellent performers. So much irony. Just discovered your channel.
There are a whole series off roald Dahl stories on here
First one was great
I listen to them every night bc they put me to sleep 💤😴
The story about the kid Edward was hilarious to me I definitely can relate to that story when I was a kid I had a friend named James and we played hockey together now I'm an African American so playing hockey was interesting I love the sport always was the only black kid though but that's another story LOL but my friend James played with me he was a Caucasian kid we're still friends till this day but I remember when I first went to his house and we have a sleepover and then he came to my house and have a sleepover then about a year later they were going on a vacation and they wanted me to come and of course our parents knew each other so I went and that's when I found out that they were nudists and I definitely wasn't it was just so strange to me that they we're comfortable seeing each other naked but I went along with it and the reason I did was kind of the same reason at the end of the story I saw that they didn't I think it was weird or embarrassing it was like they didn't even notice they were naked which kind of made me feel comfortable and also he had a sister that was 4 years older than us and she had thingies LOL and I enjoyed seeing them and Mommy has some nice thingies to LOL I end up dating his sister when I got older in college we hooked up for about a year-and-a-half but we're still great friends me and Jimmy AKA James are still best buddies we are 40 years old now we have children we see each other every year he is still in Minnesota and I move to Atlanta 4 years ago but he still my best buddy talk to him at least five times a week our kids are great friends for some reason this story triggered a lot of memories just now I think I'm going to send this to my buddy so he can listen to the story hopefully he won't read the comments and see that I thought his mom had nice-looking thingies LOL.
That story was so cringy though 😬
@@winonagumshoe388 "cringy"" It was more of a coming to terms and acceptance story, no?
Taking the Biscuit
00:00:17 - 00:10:05
The Way to a Man's Heart
00:10:23 - 00:24:35
Edwards Problem
00:25:10 - 00:43:55
Wish You Were Here
00:44:21 - 00:59:32
Dear Mr Previn
01:00:06 - 01:12:24
Twenty Five
01:12:50 - 01:28:43
Good Bye Gertie
01:29:11 - 01:43:04
A Likely Story
01:43:32 - 02:00:15
Thanks for taking the time.....😉
God bless you
I didn't really see anything humorous about Edwards Problem .
It's weird and a bit disturbing
Aaaahhhh... karma, hilarious 😆😆
If these are too risky for some of you delicate souls I recommend Disney Short Stories...or grow up ..either one
Risky? Perhaps you meant "risqué"?
If you want to belittle others, you will be more effective if you don't come off as illiterate.
@@RUclipsallowedmynametobestolen thank you - very well put. . .
May be .he really did mean too risky though!
Sorry but that third story was kind of weird ... at first I was thinking they were predators grooming that kid .
@@gardensofthegods I think your mind is unwell. I am sorry that this is so.
The KitKat 😂😂😂😂😂 Been giggling all afternoon thinking about it! Thank you for making me laugh ... Been a long time 😂
1st story is reminiscent of The Cookie Thief poem
I've seen a couple of RUclips videos re-telling the first story, "Taking the Biscuits." I don't know as they credited where they got the idea from.
There are wooshing sounds in the background , the story with Mrs. Bell with the plant don't know the name, then I realized the reader was near waves. How relaxing!!!
Ficus Benjamina.
The first one is a poem, The Cookie Thief!
Douglas Adams used it too. So long and thanks for all the fish.
@@MrVinnie47 It also happened to Adams in real life. He told it in a couple of interviews that are right here on YT.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
😊🧡
Can really picture mark Corrigan from peep show in the first sketch lol
i've heard the first story rewritten in various ways - i don't know why it's done so much ? it's a good one if you haven't heard one before. the post card one, i don't get at all - she wasn't a 'bad' sort. i love the boy at the beach story - thank goodness the kid knows this family :} (i know it's a story, but still.)
I understood the post card story all to well. I saw myself in that woman, and am having a good, hard think about it.
Who wrote these?
#3 "what"
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
please!
what is the name of the music
titanic
It would appear the Brits are a bit more relaxed about naked children than we are on this side of the pond.
I think everyone (almost) is more relaxed on this, and related topics, than the descendants of the Separatists and Puritans who found England too worldly for their liking.
@@Gottenhimfella well said.
What I didn't like about it is that it was somebody else's child with that family ... and at first I didn't know what was going on thinking they were trying to groom the child and that they were possible predators and whatnot .
@@gardensofthegods How very perverse of you.
10:28
"Biscuit" means different things upon in which nation one finds oneself.
I've never eaten a woman's biscuit that was covered in chocolate. But I am willing to try. ♥ ♥ ♥
This is not 'Benny Hill'. Why go there?
@@jakeornot6306 I truly wish that it WAS. I love that show, and my parents didn't let me watch it when it was on tv.
Now I would need to buy the DVD sets.
@@hillarysemails1615 Prat. I was commenting about your inappropriate salaciousness.
First story
Cheap
The first story was so British that I physically felt a cringe fog over me.
My guess is these stories did not write themselves. Authors' credits?
Why is there no progress bar?
Douglas adams
Adams told it better.
Agree
I was cringing all throughout story five until the end. I love happy endings.
Thanks for wrecking it.
the story are too good. plz can put the text of stories. Thanks
Write down the titles and find the books which contain them.
please give me English subtitles...
the same here, English subtitles please for those whose are learning the language.
Please subtitles for the deaf
Loving this so far 👍 😀
1. The first story's great. It was quite funny, the twist was hilarious :)
2. Not really a deep story and not 'family friendly'. All her fears were also quite ungrounded, and it tells the listener that if you do something out of spite, you'll end up happy. Quite a shitty message, actually.
3. This was a sad story if you think about it. The kid's background and the shame surrounding his dilemma were quite tragic. I'm glad this had a positive ending.
4. I can't empathise with such a nasty character. The 'twist' at the end was stupid. Feel free to skip this.
5. The writing was really good. I am just so disappointed that the ending was so...abrupt? Yeah, we get it, you regret what you wanted all along. The ending could have been wittier.
6. I won't call this story comedy per se; but, it's an interesting story. Did the story just insinuate that the woman was a whor- you know what, I think I can conclude this on my own. I would also like to believe that this renewed their feelings for each other because there is so much more beneath the surface of their marriage.
7. I feel bad because it felt like it was being set up to something greater and the ending just fell really short. That punchline was stupid. I get the 'moral' of the story, just that it could have been presented better.
8. Long winding and so many irrelevant details for a short story, this story could have been cut by a third. I saw the ending a mile away. The shenanigans were quite funny, but really unbelievable.
Anyway, I really loved the first story. Shame, majority of the other stories did not live up to the quality of the first. Great narration for all of them, though :)
Regarding (in particular) your commentary to story 2, the notion that stories should convey a moral message, reward good moral behaviour, or in some other way end happily, seems to me a little strange. These are not Sunday school homilies ...
Even the Bible does not invariably follow your prescription.
Take for instance the parable in Matthew, about the servants and the talents. It is not describing the world as it ought to be, but as it is.
@@Gottenhimfella By god, these are stories that are supposed to be shared WITH kids. I'm sorry, where I'm from, we don't normally teach infidelity and manipulation to preschoolers. Just a thought.
The first story was originally by Douglas Adams (unless he in fact borrowed it) But he did claim it happened to him a long time ago and he had been telling the story for sometime, this clip was from 1985. Subsequently he put a version of the story into So Long And Thanks For All The Fish.
ruclips.net/video/SF2fZ2iOXhk/видео.html
Reading before listening
Me: Mum can we put something else on
Mum:why
Me:because people say the 2nd ones trash
@@balthazarmayrena600 Why on earth would you think these are stories that "are supposed to be shared with kids." Because they are 'short'? Good grief. These are not children's stories. How odd.
Great stories but far too many ads.
The first couple of stories were without adverts, then so many ads interrupting the stories it wasn't worth listening to as I tried to drift off to sleep.
I had the same problem, Chrissy. I have listened many times over the years to these stories, but realise the ads have got WAY more invasive.. so the channel owner has chosen to do that.. what a shame. They used to be perfect as bedtime stories
Probably for the better because that's Tori Edwards Problem was kind of weird ... at least I thought so
RUclips premium has saved me thousands of ads and saved me from going insane lol
Subtitles please with out subtitles it is difficult to understand English accent . 🇮🇳
im on the 3rd story...nothing funny
I think the title should have said AMUSING instead of funny. Still, it's free content, so let us all enjoy!
Beautifully written. Beautifully read. They’re light hearted , thought provoking a bit sad, realistic...to make you smile. LOL had a different meaning once.
Seriously? The humor of Thurber came to mind. WONDERFUL!
I'm enjoying them. I wonder what funny means to you?
I laughed quite a bit on #3. I close my eyes & visualize, though. & I laugh at myself often & my glass is 1/2 full maj. of the time, which during this pandemic & the sad, unbelievable tragedies occurring daily in the news, I’m grateful for. I would have chosen for ages 12 & up...& depending on ‘your’ family, not for the Whole Family. Even in America, we have diff senses of humor & slang, in different parts of the country.
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Perhaps the presenter of these fine stories might remove, "for the whole family" from the details, as the presenter's family is of higher intelligence than those 'adults' who have little.
This in corne
gamingwithmir 1 Corny
Could you please upload subtitles.
Cheers.🇷🇺
3rd one was kinda perverse and disturbing xD (was it thus that made it funny??) 🤔
A number of us here did not like that story and I guess they thought it was humorous that there was a twist at the end when we realized they were only nudists and not necessarily child predators ?
I did not like the story at all and found no humor in it .
perhaps there may by strange people, ie. americans listening.
David Allen these stories are read by such amazing stage , film and tv performers. How lucky are we to have these on you tube.
i just love the way you include a country of millions of people and 50 states as "americans listening". i guess all the British are upper class twits as well !!! jeez!
Way too many ads!!. They are a constant interruption to the stories. Would be much better if they placed them in between each story.
You lost me with that "zanie!" Music at the beginning.
Very jarring & 😬 idk. ..too much. But thx for the effort 👌. To each their own
Yes, those 15 seconds of jaunty piano completely spoiled the following 2 hours of storytelling.
I didn't like that jarring music either and I agree and I also did not like that third story and didn't go past it after reading the comments ... I didn't find the third-story humorous and just didn't even want to continue after that .
That was the one where the six-year-old kid goes off alone with the doctor and his family
I say this as a review, not necessarily a criticism. But the first story was funny. The second one was not so much, maybe in a dark bitter way. Hardly appropriate for the whole family. As was the third story which was also actually kind of sad and with an almost disturbing feel to it. I didn't listen past the third as none so far had been funny, save the first.
Sounds critical...perhaps easily offend and you should stick to g rated cartoons
I think a lot of people have really lost the ability to concentrate and comprehend like they once did, and we have got so used to sound bites, and fast paced in your face action on telly.
This is not a criticism of your review, merely an observation.
I suffer from insomnia and have found that I have managed to rekindle my love of nice slow paced stories that conclude gently.....short stories with no thrills, just a gentle pace, food for thought I guess
I agree with you. From all the stories, only the first one was funny.
They aren’t funny, they’re just gentle....nothing wrong with that!
Yeah that turd story was kind of weird ... didn't care for it and at one point I was starting to think they might be predators .
Ad block plus - We must oppose insatiable corporate greed, even though they own everything, and we their prey -What else are we to do?
and Adblock for RUclips
мам
The ads are rediculous. Spoils the whole thing.
Skip to the end of the video then watch the 4 second ad then hit replay it removes the ads for you xx
@@chellebrown6677 Thanks chelle. That's a handy tip. Does that work with all these videos or just this one? :-)
@@michaeljones19731 99.9% of them, it's always worked for me x
@@chellebrown6677 Your A Star! 🌟Thanks Chelle. What a difference that will make. Some of these videos have a rediculous amount of ads. It puts you off wanting to watch them. 😊Xx
@@michaeljones19731 yep it does make a big difference, I know they jave to make their money but when your skint you can't help lol x
What is it, and I am not being negative, what is it with tea. Every single story and show from England, has tea drinking. It is part of the story and must be a part of English life. So what is it, the attraction, or the habit, or whatever. Tea tea tea.
Americans are the same way with their complex coffees from Starbucks.
Not only are America & Britain two nations divided by a common language but favourite beverage. Watch any American Kitchen sink drama and al they do is drink coffee .. coffee,coffee, coffee. 😂
I grew up in America and started drinking tea when I was about four years old and so I don't understand the coffee craze .
Some people understand what it's like to drink a good cup of hot tea ... very soothing without all the calories and richness of hot chocolate .... it's hard to explain if somebody didn't grow up in a tea-drinking household
@@gardensofthegods when we get together I'll make you a nice hot strong but smooth cup of coffee with sugar and cream and we'll talk it over
@@ThePattibeth Patti , don't get me wrong , there's been times over the years where I drank coffee everyday ... usually grinding the beans so it's fresh .
But I haven't had much coffee in the past few years and just love a hot cup of tea more than coffee sorry .
I might like it first thing in the morning when it's cold out but don't normally drink it the rest of the day anymore and have not in years .
That second story was awful. How about trying to work out your differences and let your partner know your feelings before you just drop them like a hot rock?
Sure she didn't love him anymore but, at least try.
It's just a story, you know.
I thought the third story was weird and I was not comfortable with it ... the one about the kid going off alone with the doctor and his family .
adultery and homosexuality so accepted in Britain this "humour for the WHOLE family?"
After the third story where this child goes off with the doctor's family I just was turned off and started reading the other comments to see if on the only one that thought that story was not funny
I'm probably alone in this, but I was turned off.
Narrations were awesome. First story funny. Last story cute.
The ones in the middle were not funny at all for me. If they were "humour for the whole family", then it seems we are rearing children on adultery and other negative interactions.
I was hoping for the promised, "8 Complete Stories That Will Make You Smile".
Miserable marriages and selfish people just don't strike my funny bone. They kinda made me sad.
Well, there are a lot of thumb's up, so it must be just me.
I haven't yet listened to the other stories after Edwards Problem ... but I agree with you on that one because it was getting weird I didn't have much sleep at all ... wasn't sure if that was the reason I had trouble concentrating on this story .
It was weird and it just didn't seem to fit in with what one would consider regular humorous stories .
I guess they were a family of nudists ? ... but the fact that it was somebody else's child with these people felt kind of disturbing .... I did not see any humor in it .
Also are you from America ? I am and I was reading a thread where people were talkin about how uptight we Americans are about nudity .
Yes I've heard this before over the years but the story still felt weird because it first it seemed where you had to wonder if they were grooming the child and that they were predators
Oh, I didn’t think of that! Yes, I am American and I do remember (now that you brought it up) that we are more modest about clothing than some other cultures.
And you are right, it must have triggered subconscious suspicions about grooming.
Hopefully you find rest soon, 😴
There are not stories "for the whole family." Why would you think so? Also, I advise looking up the definition of "humour." in a reliable place - like a dictionary. "Humour" does not equate with "funny," as "comedy" does not equate with funny.
they were presenting adult/child nudity as wholesome & healthy. That boy would have been terrified@@gardensofthegods
If you’re gonna do audiobooks of sorts, don’t monetize it. The commercials ruin it
They might otherwise not be here to enjoy, and the ads do mostly stop.