Miscellaneous Myths: Aphrodite

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  • Опубликовано: 26 дек 2024

Комментарии • 10 тыс.

  • @ieaturgreenbean
    @ieaturgreenbean 5 лет назад +8407

    Someone: *Chooses to be virgin*
    Aphrodite: *so you've chosen death*

    • @rimoros.1020
      @rimoros.1020 4 года назад +176

      Hey! I didn't choose to be virgin

    • @Silverwind87
      @Silverwind87 4 года назад +283

      She must not like Hestia, Athena or Artemis.

    • @sirnikkel6746
      @sirnikkel6746 4 года назад +98

      Weebs: *My time has come*

    • @amrabrook1612
      @amrabrook1612 4 года назад +231

      @@Silverwind87 I don't know much about her relationship with Hestia. But she HATED Athena and Artemis lol

    • @Silverwind87
      @Silverwind87 4 года назад +44

      ​@@amrabrook1612 prom queen vs jock

  • @scarletrose2880
    @scarletrose2880 4 года назад +7675

    Ancient Greece: aphrodite can't be the goddess of love AND war. Those things just dont go together
    Also ancient greece: let's make her do it with ares

    • @TheAustronaut03
      @TheAustronaut03 4 года назад +476

      *athenian gasp*

    • @cybersearcher1041
      @cybersearcher1041 4 года назад +127

      Yo
      *GET THIS COMMENT UP THERE*

    • @AnimeSunglasses
      @AnimeSunglasses 4 года назад +202

      I feel like expecting THAT kind of philosophical consistency from Athenians is just going a wee bit too far.
      Diogenes excepted, of course.

    • @moralityisnotsubjective5
      @moralityisnotsubjective5 4 года назад +103

      Spartans would probably say Athenians aren't real men.

    • @Kip450
      @Kip450 4 года назад +67

      Well, all is fair in love and war!

  • @VioletxVelvet
    @VioletxVelvet 4 года назад +6421

    "Let's be real, having the goddesses of rulership and battle tactics opposing you in a war is not a good thing."
    Aphrodite Areia: "Heard you were talking shit."

    • @dungeonmaster3464
      @dungeonmaster3464 4 года назад +453

      I think Aphrodite's role in that story would've been a lot more interesting if the kept her Areia traits.

    • @elmolovesyou2320
      @elmolovesyou2320 3 года назад +43

      @Wolfie The Fudanshi you came here from smite too? Aphrodite is so annoying in smite 😩😡

    • @inesbrites5035
      @inesbrites5035 3 года назад +51

      But then again Aphrodite Areia was very niche back then

    • @DISTurbedwaffle918
      @DISTurbedwaffle918 3 года назад +73

      Venus ultimately won that conflict when Rome annexed the bickering Greek city states and rendered them largely irrelevant for the next 1000 years.

    • @hime6785
      @hime6785 3 года назад +20

      Dionysus: *say that again*

  • @gray9818
    @gray9818 3 года назад +10074

    Okay but actually though having a "Who's the hottest goddess?" contest and being surprised/upset someone chose the goddess of beauty and love is like having a "who's the best at hunting?" contest and being surprised that Artemis won. Like, I get it, having three women asking you who's the most attractive is a no win scenario, but still

    • @Kelaiah01
      @Kelaiah01 3 года назад +1293

      Actually, I read that the Greeks considered Hera to be the most beautiful goddess. Which arguably does make sense, since she's the queen of the gods. Plus, several myths would have people declaring a certain woman is more beautiful than Aphrodite, suggesting that the Greeks believed she could be surpassed in the looks department.

    • @seriouslatte9167
      @seriouslatte9167 3 года назад +593

      afaik the "hottest goddess" is an interpretation, its equally valid to expand the adjective to define the "best" goddess or some other positive quality, so it makes more sense aphrodite wasn't the clear winner. also, the person above me had a good responses.

    • @pinkcupcake4717
      @pinkcupcake4717 3 года назад +598

      It's less "Is Aphrodite hot" and more "Do I want to anger the goddess of war and the queen of the gods?"

    • @greenredblue
      @greenredblue 3 года назад +171

      Yeah, just to pile on to what everybody else was already saying... Her being the goddess of love doesn't mean she's the goddess of anything associated with love. E.g. she's certainly not the goddess of faithfulness or stable relationships...

    • @gray9818
      @gray9818 3 года назад +221

      @@greenredblue She the goddess of love and beauty in a beauty contest. It wasn't a question of "who's the most faithful" or "who has the most stable relationships" (which, let's be real, is almost no one in Greek mythology)

  • @josephmchugh4040
    @josephmchugh4040 5 лет назад +7580

    Literally all of Greece: "You know, not every god/goddess needs to be related to war, right?"
    Sparta: aggressive warrior gasps!
    Vikings: "Don't listen to them Sparta!"

    • @gabriel300010
      @gabriel300010 5 лет назад +353

      But... but... shouldn't EVERYTHING be war?!?!...

    • @edim108
      @edim108 5 лет назад +135

      @@gabriel300010 So did the Vikings thought.

    • @KaiTenSatsuma
      @KaiTenSatsuma 5 лет назад +142

      Wasn't the Norse god of love notably a man?

    • @doesntmatter2467
      @doesntmatter2467 5 лет назад +45

      they did have some non war gods.

    • @talscorner3696
      @talscorner3696 5 лет назад +239

      @@KaiTenSatsuma I believe he is. Funny thing with Norse mythology is that almost any deity is ALSO the deity of some aspect of war xD like Oden: poetry? Sure! Knowledge? Bloody hell, yes! War? Why the heck not?!

  • @Irishcrossing
    @Irishcrossing 5 лет назад +6884

    "Oh Aphrodite, you don't belong on the battlefield you silly, silly girl."
    "Why?"
    "Becuase women aren't allowed on the battlefield."
    "Okay, but why is Athena on the battlefield then."
    "Look imma be real with you, we already have at least two official war gods and that isn't even including aspects or other higher beings. Can you please just sit this one out."

    • @Gooberwares
      @Gooberwares 4 года назад +383

      Irishcrossing do you want to fighter a shipper? I hear they get violent

    • @TheRhuen
      @TheRhuen 4 года назад +199

      Goes full Ishtar and beats down the other gods and unleashes an army of zombies,

    • @moonlightdumbass264
      @moonlightdumbass264 4 года назад +90

      @@Gooberwares oh man you're right! Trust me fighting with my kind is life treatening, mostly when it comes to ships

    • @just_radical
      @just_radical 4 года назад +213

      tbh a lot of the celestial parts of the Iliad are the other gods complaining that Zeus lets Athena do whatever she wants because she's his favorite. There's even a part that's literally the Gordon Ramsay "oh precious/you donkey" meme with Athena and Ares.

    • @halfway7690
      @halfway7690 4 года назад +20

      @@just_radical I thought Artemis was his favorite? Wasn't there a pophcey that she would be Zeus's equal and her unborn brother greater?

  • @jamestown8398
    @jamestown8398 4 года назад +4840

    Goddesses: "Which of us is most attractive?"
    Zeus: "You're asking me to judge between my sister-wife, my daughter, and my niece?"
    Goddesses: "Yeah."
    Zeus: "Um … you know who'd be a better judge? Paris of Troy! Yeah …"

    • @wooyeah1738
      @wooyeah1738 4 года назад +398

      Actually, I believe Aphrodite is technically Zeus’ aunt.

    • @jamestown8398
      @jamestown8398 4 года назад +343

      @@wooyeah1738It depends. In the Hesiod she's born from Uranus' severed genitals, while in the Illiad she's Zeus' daughter with Dione.

    • @wooyeah1738
      @wooyeah1738 4 года назад +200

      Jamestown Sorry, Yeah. I just often prefer the idea that she’s made the way the Hesiod describes it, because A, it’s an interesting idea of what happened to the original dead daddy, and B, it makes it a tiny bit less weird that Zeus wants to get it on with her, because it’s not father and daughter anymore. It’s still weird, but less weird.

    • @noodlesmaster69420
      @noodlesmaster69420 4 года назад +25

      @@wooyeah1738 Zeus never did it with Aphrodite

    • @wooyeah1738
      @wooyeah1738 4 года назад +65

      Darren Lin Debatable, but even if he didn’t, he was attracted at certain points.

  • @JacksonJinn
    @JacksonJinn 3 года назад +7843

    *Aphrodite:* Who are you?
    *Astarte:* I'm you but a fighter
    *Ishtar:* I'm you but _a damn queen_
    *Areia:* I'm Astarte again
    *Urania:* I'm you but a saint
    *Pandemos:* I'm you but a sinner~
    *Virgin Mary:* I'm not you but the Christians think I am

    • @rampage75_25
      @rampage75_25 3 года назад +869

      Holy maiden full of grace, punch the devil in the face

    • @srininaveen7157
      @srininaveen7157 3 года назад +281

      @@rampage75_25 I don’t why but I feel like that should be in one of Wilbur Soot’s songs

    • @rampage75_25
      @rampage75_25 3 года назад +210

      @@srininaveen7157 i found it under a medivial cover of "the only thing they fear is you", doom soundtrack

    • @8bitutopia1954
      @8bitutopia1954 3 года назад +149

      Inanna: So apparently some people think I am Ishtar as well…

    • @luizfellipe3291
      @luizfellipe3291 3 года назад +91

      It's fun bc in my language "areia" just means "sand"

  • @davidhayward6382
    @davidhayward6382 5 лет назад +11051

    *Singlehandedly kickstarts an entire war*
    "Teehee, can't help being a Gemini"

    • @alienindisguise5546
      @alienindisguise5546 5 лет назад +210

      Omfg I am Dying

    • @rachaelevans8351
      @rachaelevans8351 5 лет назад +202

      David Hayward honestly I’m a Gemini and this is kinda wayyy too accurate

    • @icetweiz
      @icetweiz 5 лет назад +282

      Hilariously enough, the Gemini brothers (Castor & Pollux) were the brothers of Helen of Troy

    • @Taizyaija
      @Taizyaija 5 лет назад +222

      girls literally run over a whole sidewalk of pedestrians and say "cant help being an aquarium"

    • @samitorizawa
      @samitorizawa 5 лет назад +13

      I’m dying help

  • @rhettdilley
    @rhettdilley 5 лет назад +3690

    “Amazingly, the bath bomb ballsack is the less disturbing version of the legend.” That alone earned you another subscriber

    • @loveydoveydoll4
      @loveydoveydoll4 5 лет назад +19

      Yayyy! Welcome to the subscriber club

    • @nightshade_v76
      @nightshade_v76 5 лет назад +54

      I bust out laughing at “bath bomb ballsack”

    • @averyforoughi2117
      @averyforoughi2117 5 лет назад +1

      i would want that

    • @thehermit8618
      @thehermit8618 5 лет назад +4

      Yeah, definetly less disturbing than a Hitite God practicing cock and ball torture with his mouth and roleplaying as a seahorse

    • @NewCoke7
      @NewCoke7 Год назад

      @@nightshade_v76 BUSTT?????1!!!!1!

  • @judahosborne8868
    @judahosborne8868 5 лет назад +6740

    Zeus: *tears his siblings out of his father's stomach and overthrows them*
    Artemis: *breaks free of her father's head*
    Aphrodite: B A T H B O M B B A L L S A C K

    • @horinum
      @horinum 4 года назад +578

      Judah Osboja Athena is the one who came out of her father head.

    • @Ozilus21
      @Ozilus21 4 года назад +206

      Athena*

    • @sheimaina655
      @sheimaina655 4 года назад +89

      Judah Osboja Artemis and Apollo: hatches from eggs

    • @ysabelskylar6544
      @ysabelskylar6544 4 года назад +50

      I think it was Athena???

    • @theodosiaburr6559
      @theodosiaburr6559 4 года назад +51

      Maybe you meant Athena instead of Artemis?

  • @skythedeer4913
    @skythedeer4913 3 года назад +4804

    Athens: *at Aphrodite* you can't be the goddess of war, that's wrong you are a woman
    Athena: *stares blankly at the city-state named after her*

    • @decoral
      @decoral 3 года назад +736

      Athena: *Maybe if I give them an olive tree they won't notice.*

    • @averonisgaming9023
      @averonisgaming9023 2 года назад +463

      Its not that she couldnt be a war goddess because she's a woman but rather because she's a goddess of war AND sex, which remove life and take it respectively, thus the inherent contradiction

    • @daleketchup7434
      @daleketchup7434 2 года назад +191

      @@averonisgaming9023 so basically being the goddess of war and sex cancels each other out

    • @durrangodsgrief6503
      @durrangodsgrief6503 2 года назад +123

      @@averonisgaming9023 I find that love in of itself is a battle

    • @pastorTracy911
      @pastorTracy911 2 года назад +19

      Athena would probably agree

  • @zoltanszaszi2264
    @zoltanszaszi2264 3 года назад +3207

    Aphrodite Urania: Love is a divine, transcendent thing
    Aphrodite Pandemos: Love is passion and physical attraction
    Aphrodite Areia: THIS IS SPARTA

    • @WhitneyDahlin
      @WhitneyDahlin 2 года назад +120

      ‼️so does Aphrodite come off as that sorority girl who is now a bored and desperate housewife to anyone else? the whole unable to manage her own relationships but LOVES giving advice and helping others with their relationship problems?? sleeping with anyone but her husband?? very attractive yet weirdly jealous?

    • @mephistopheleshellel693
      @mephistopheleshellel693 2 года назад +22

      She is Athena, too. It's her divided yet again!

    • @bestaround3323
      @bestaround3323 2 года назад +83

      Aphrodite Aeria: Love is war

    • @emiliashadownight-blacktho2766
      @emiliashadownight-blacktho2766 Год назад +8

      @@mephistopheleshellel693 devided state? (sorry Unwind reference)

    • @LoneWolf20213
      @LoneWolf20213 Год назад +7

      @@mephistopheleshellel693 I always thought that Aphrodite personally helped Athena get her standing as it is as it would explain why there are 2 versions of Athena who were born before and after Hepestuas as the one born before Hephaestus was just Aphrodite seen as Athena

  • @siegesquirrel42
    @siegesquirrel42 5 лет назад +3378

    New headcanon: the "previous versions" of the Olympians continue to exist as facets of the god in question's personality.
    Aphrodite:
    Aphrodite: "Oh, teehee, I don't know what I was thinking!"
    Aphrodite Areia, literally the second Zeus' back is turned: *"Just as planned."*

    • @CykeMonkey
      @CykeMonkey 5 лет назад +367

      I like this one. Though, I kind of think that part of the reason Aphrodite messes with everyone is that she was ticked that her Goddess of War status was taken from her

    • @morgangrant3479
      @morgangrant3479 5 лет назад +64

      All the Greek gods have DID then

    • @kingofthings7929
      @kingofthings7929 5 лет назад +153

      Could even take this further. All part of the plan to forge herself an empire based on her son, What with Aeneas and all.

    • @demi-fiendoftime3825
      @demi-fiendoftime3825 5 лет назад +128

      @@kingofthings7929 few century later Rome pops up
      Aphrodite/Venus with ominous Kira face: Just as Planed ;)

    • @BlackCover95
      @BlackCover95 5 лет назад +91

      Alternatively, she caused the Trojan War, but had historians write that dialogue to trick everyone into thinking she _couldn’t possibly_ be behind it.

  • @darkraven5106
    @darkraven5106 5 лет назад +2767

    Sparta: All gods are war gods!
    Rest of greece: that doesn't make any sens....
    Norse: Heeeey! Up tops Sparta!

    • @greywalker505
      @greywalker505 5 лет назад +201

      Is that why Kratos moved to Norse mythology?

    • @discmanthecdlord
      @discmanthecdlord 5 лет назад +68

      @@greywalker505 pretty much

    • @jadefields9020
      @jadefields9020 5 лет назад +53

      @@discmanthecdlord he is moving into shinto next

    • @rhys2275
      @rhys2275 5 лет назад +30

      ... im not one on war
      but i’ll get my hands dirty if i have to ;)

    • @discmanthecdlord
      @discmanthecdlord 5 лет назад +4

      @@rhys2275eeyyyyyy

  • @MrSolomonGaming
    @MrSolomonGaming 3 года назад +643

    Actually in Spartan Culture the wife/mother of the household is often revered. They were said to have political power and were the ones in charge back home. I read somewhere that a Spartan's biggest disgrace is being divorced by their wife.
    So Aphrodite in Sparta being a War-Mother as well as Love/Fertility makes perfect sense.

    • @nyxshecate-2jeipews
      @nyxshecate-2jeipews Год назад +20

      nice

    • @NewNewColt
      @NewNewColt Месяц назад

      The women in Sparta controlled all of the family finances. The Kings often had to borrow money from their wives to wage war. On top of that whenever a husband died the wife got everything so some women would end up with like 3 or 4 family fortunes.
      For being a society perceived as peak machismo they were very whipped.

  • @andrewollmann304
    @andrewollmann304 4 года назад +8086

    Aphrodite Areia, Ishtar, and Astarte: Because love is a battlefield.

    • @morgangrant3479
      @morgangrant3479 4 года назад +95

      Best pun

    • @shanedoesyoutube8001
      @shanedoesyoutube8001 4 года назад +191

      Well well well do these three are gonna enjoy watching Kaguya-sama together

    • @JackedThor-so
      @JackedThor-so 4 года назад +205

      "Stabbed through the heart, and you're to blame, Aphrodite is her name."

    • @onlywylie
      @onlywylie 4 года назад +13

      Benatar too

    • @theoverpreparerlamenters3r436
      @theoverpreparerlamenters3r436 3 года назад +75

      Wait, my firstborn brothers (astartes) are named after a goddess of LOVE!? Grandfather has a sense of humor!

  • @CoRLex-jh5vx
    @CoRLex-jh5vx 5 лет назад +5647

    No one:
    Aphrodite: wOOpS.......my rObeS.......acCiDenTAllY.......FEll.....WhaTeVEr SHalL I dO

    • @CoRLex-jh5vx
      @CoRLex-jh5vx 5 лет назад +45

      @UC8E13w0VvVpUi4Gz57BF0dA fam that's maybe the most famous song of that genre, and that genre happens to be my favourite, so I've heard it maybe a hundred times. It completely fits, you're so right

    • @mrendyman4824
      @mrendyman4824 5 лет назад +104

      “The fastest humper in the west”

    • @jadefields9020
      @jadefields9020 5 лет назад +13

      @@mrendyman4824 i know what you should do steal some hide from artemis since you hate her guts😆😆😆😆😆

    • @rhys2275
      @rhys2275 5 лет назад +37

      hey
      don’t knock it till you try it
      nudism is the shit

    • @nerkdurgen5574
      @nerkdurgen5574 5 лет назад +5

      *Zeus

  • @66Roses
    @66Roses 4 года назад +8125

    "The goddess of beauty and sex being simultaneously a goddess of war was... unlikely to bother the Spartans."
    A fantastic understatement.

    • @HaydenX
      @HaydenX 4 года назад +713

      Areia: "Marry fuck kill!"
      Random person: "Oh...I love that game!"
      Areia: "Game?"

    • @dungeonmaster3464
      @dungeonmaster3464 4 года назад +198

      @@HaydenX Isn't the game "fuck, marry, kill" in that order? It's nitpicky, but changing the order has some ironic implications.

    • @HaydenX
      @HaydenX 4 года назад +229

      @@dungeonmaster3464 I've personally heard at least a dozen different variations on it including "bed, wed, behead", "snuggle, snog, stab", and all combinations of "fuck, marry, kill", "marry, fuck, kill" and "kill, fuck, marry". I'm not too worried about the order...just like the phrase "what goes around, comes around" can also be "what comes around, goes around".

    • @dungeonmaster3464
      @dungeonmaster3464 4 года назад +45

      @@HaydenX Okay. I never really paid much attention to it or sought it out, so I only knew one variation.

    • @mindstalk
      @mindstalk 4 года назад +126

      @@HaydenX "wed, bed, behead" is Henry VIII

  • @stoneryan69
    @stoneryan69 Год назад +477

    Eris yelling "Street Smarts!" As she throws the apple is to good😂

  • @ArcstoneBionicle
    @ArcstoneBionicle 4 года назад +9061

    Something hilarious I found: Aphrodite had a child with Hermes, and it was literally named Hermaphrodites. This feels appropriate, considering Aphrodite is basically the goddess of shipping.
    EDIT: I am aware of the actual meaning of the word "hermaphrodite," although I wasn't when I first wrote this comment.

    • @SM-qv2om
      @SM-qv2om 4 года назад +872

      Dionysus also slept with Aphrodite even though she's technically his great grandmother

    • @scooperdooper4097
      @scooperdooper4097 4 года назад +600

      @@SM-qv2om I would like to not think about that

    • @meaninglesscommenter8457
      @meaninglesscommenter8457 4 года назад +626

      @@scooperdooper4097 hera and zeus are married and siblings

    • @scooperdooper4097
      @scooperdooper4097 4 года назад +516

      @@meaninglesscommenter8457 Gaya and Ueraunos are married and Gaya is technically Ueraunos’ mom

    • @dhampir_days
      @dhampir_days 4 года назад +586

      funny enough, that's how we got the word hermaphrodite, since the child had both sets of genitals

  • @WilyGryphon
    @WilyGryphon 4 года назад +9213

    "You painted a naked woman because you enjoyed looking at her, put a mirror in her hand and you called the painting 'Vanity', thus morally condemning the woman whose nakedness you had depicted for your own pleasure." -John Berger

    • @katie1925
      @katie1925 4 года назад +603

      Damn John Burger must've been bullied at school for that name

    • @jennifershay8980
      @jennifershay8980 4 года назад +440

      @@katie1925 Least his name wasn’t Burgermister Misterburger

    • @whytho1534
      @whytho1534 4 года назад +380

      nah Aphrodite was painted naked because shes legit the God of love sex and beauty and besides everyone during that time period liked to paint naked people for some weird reason

    • @omarelmasri9939
      @omarelmasri9939 4 года назад +427

      Didnt they paint literally EVERYONE naked

    • @madr309
      @madr309 4 года назад +57

      @@whytho1534 Not that weird a reason.

  • @potandpoliticswithmr.broph1420
    @potandpoliticswithmr.broph1420 5 лет назад +3262

    makes her relationship with Ares make a lot of sense too being a war god originally

    • @alecchristiaen4856
      @alecchristiaen4856 5 лет назад +249

      ...
      that sexy time would be arousing and terrifying both at once.

    • @spleens4200
      @spleens4200 4 года назад +231

      All is fair in love and war... o

    • @alecchristiaen4856
      @alecchristiaen4856 4 года назад +139

      But they are opposed in how they wage it.
      Athena's the clever and cunning tactician.
      Ares is the brutal warmonger

    • @morganrobinson8042
      @morganrobinson8042 4 года назад +113

      @@alecchristiaen4856 And Aphrodite wrecks you just because she feels like it. No, plan, no forethought, no motive;just he pure chaos she inherited for Ishtar.

    • @kahmorastimemanagement6096
      @kahmorastimemanagement6096 4 года назад +14

      Two things never change; love and war

  • @roseyghost
    @roseyghost 2 года назад +1112

    If Aphrodite was a real person she’d either be that “YOU JUST GOT MARRIED? WHEN ARE YOU GONNA HAVE KIDS?!” person or the “So I just set you up on a date with this random discord mod :3”

    • @pingu4938
      @pingu4938 Год назад +59

      Why not both?

    • @animalloverkaileigh
      @animalloverkaileigh Год назад +96

      She wouldn't be the person to say, “YOU JUST GOT MARRIED? WHEN ARE YOU GONNA HAVE KIDS?!”
      She would immediately jump "WHEN ARE YOU GONNA HAVE GRAND KIDS?!"

    • @janTesika
      @janTesika Год назад +12

      she seems much more motherly in the modern hellenist view, maybe the centuries have mellowed her out..?

    • @AyubuKK
      @AyubuKK 4 месяца назад +2

      More like both

  • @Pensushets
    @Pensushets 3 года назад +7611

    Aphrodite: **Tee-hee~ totally a ship-queen**
    Aphrodite's alt account: **THIS IS SPAAAARTAAA BITCH!!**

    • @rainbowmothraleo
      @rainbowmothraleo 3 года назад +803

      Aphrodite on her "official" account, which is monitored by her dad: *oh yes, I'm so into purity and morality*

    • @whytho1534
      @whytho1534 3 года назад +88

      @@rainbowmothraleo her dad is dead tho so that's not possible

    • @rainbowmothraleo
      @rainbowmothraleo 3 года назад +283

      @@whytho1534 I'd say, that in this version her dad is Zeus, but he's obviously won't give a shit about her daughter's shenanigans.
      Also Uranus is not dead, he's just castrated, but he's still kinda exist in a form of the sky

    • @missy1286
      @missy1286 3 года назад +49

      THIS
      IS
      SPARTAAAAAAAAGAHAHHGGAAAAAAAHHHAAAIPSDLK;DNSVBLIDKBIPLKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
      -aphrodite areia

    • @Freelance_Fandom_Collector
      @Freelance_Fandom_Collector 3 года назад +71

      @@whytho1534 *wait isn’t her dad literally immortal?*

  • @MellowSquash
    @MellowSquash 4 года назад +1642

    Avengers is the most ambitious crossover of all time
    Ancient Mythologies: *allow us to introduce ourselves*

    • @whytho2047
      @whytho2047 3 года назад +3

      Yes

    • @brinaf2857
      @brinaf2857 3 года назад +18

      They didn't mention Freya (probably for a matter if geography), but she was also a goddess of love, beauty and war.

    • @0zer018
      @0zer018 3 года назад +8

      @@brinaf2857 there's also Benzaiten, who's also a goddess of love, beauty, and war. And coincidentally, a sea-spawn

    • @adeleaslan8182
      @adeleaslan8182 3 года назад +5

      @@brinaf2857 and witchcraft! She was basically the dream goddess

    • @yashsharma6734
      @yashsharma6734 3 года назад +3

      @@adeleaslan8182 girlie was working full time

  • @joshcolon8291
    @joshcolon8291 4 года назад +3899

    Now I'm just imagining a scene in some mythology-based fiction that goes like:
    Eros: (backed into a corner by some incredibly dangerous and powerful force) I didn't want to have to do this... but you've left me with no choice. (takes a deep breath) MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!
    Aphrodite: (materializes behind said threat and painfully grips their shoulder) Tell me... are you familiar with the phrase, *"love hurts?"*

    • @mysteriouscolours1532
      @mysteriouscolours1532 4 года назад +215

      I love this tell me more

    • @dyppityjoop5912
      @dyppityjoop5912 4 года назад +248

      Proceeds to sick like a entire town of love sick/enraged humans onto that force, then when that doesn't work just proceeds to go into war mode and absolutely destroys the enemy

    • @Franz0818
      @Franz0818 4 года назад +146

      So your saying Eros is a stand user????

    • @scooperdooper4097
      @scooperdooper4097 4 года назад +160

      *APHRODITE AREIA INTENSIFIES*

    • @mohammedyousef4005
      @mohammedyousef4005 3 года назад +65

      I like to think that the "force" is hera trying to get eros to make zeus faithful to her

  • @LinearAztec
    @LinearAztec 2 года назад +370

    Red getting increasingly angry over the constant need for tit-censorship is the funniest thing in this video

    • @thegaarachan89
      @thegaarachan89 Год назад +27

      I had to keep pausing the video to read them. Do not regret it! They were hilarious!

  • @somerandomcommenteryoufoun7485
    @somerandomcommenteryoufoun7485 5 лет назад +23293

    Asexuals: exist
    Aphrodite: wait thats illegal

    • @grizzlyrider6original70
      @grizzlyrider6original70 5 лет назад +712

      Wow Aphrodite.. just wow
      You may have a point Some Random Commenter

    • @legoworksstudios1
      @legoworksstudios1 5 лет назад +649

      @@threateningfeathers4210 fine by me. Aphrodite has her ships (some of which are on fire) we have hunting and new ways to prepare beef and mutton once we hunt it

    • @tobi936
      @tobi936 5 лет назад +595

      NOOO I CANT GO BACK JAIL!
      YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!

    • @vulpinecatastrophe9377
      @vulpinecatastrophe9377 5 лет назад +303

      So the moon is illegal now I guess

    • @scotthadden9816
      @scotthadden9816 5 лет назад +106

      Aromantics, not asexual. Asexual means you have no primary sexual characteristics, aka genitalia.

  • @timothylaskey745
    @timothylaskey745 4 года назад +2351

    “Aphrodite thinks a ship is cute and makes it canon without regard to consequences” - LOL!!

    • @redandlippyproductions
      @redandlippyproductions 3 года назад +57

      literally me with fanfics lmao

    • @oscarcano562
      @oscarcano562 3 года назад +8

      Mina!!

    • @ave8685
      @ave8685 3 года назад +25

      Aphrodite and I wouldnt get along
      Im such an overthinker

    • @rockhistoria2537
      @rockhistoria2537 3 года назад +70

      Aphrodite is basically the personification of every teenage girl except that she has lovecraftian powers

    • @videogollumer
      @videogollumer 2 года назад +20

      Aphrodite: Eros! Why haven't you shot Sonic with an arrow while he's near Amy yet?!
      Eros: I'm sorry, mother, but he's just too fast for me to land a hit! Hermes must have given him a boon at birth.
      Aphrodite: Fine! Then I'll take matters into my own hands! You WILL love Amy, Sonic; you WILL!!! Ahahahahahaha!
      Eros: Um... mother?

  • @alinarendon2099
    @alinarendon2099 5 лет назад +3677

    Athena: Your daughter.
    Hera: Your wife.
    Aphrodite: A fangirl.
    Yikes. Yeah, good luck Zeus.

    • @dicedragon6207
      @dicedragon6207 5 лет назад +237

      Aphrodite is also his daughter/auntie

    • @dicedragon6207
      @dicedragon6207 5 лет назад +145

      @@amphioctopus conflicting origin stories is how

    • @trexarmando
      @trexarmando 5 лет назад +179

      Hera is also his sister

    • @cheese7432
      @cheese7432 5 лет назад +129

      Elninonumber1
      *A L A B A M A 100*

    • @TheBeastr
      @TheBeastr 5 лет назад +100

      Zeus is her father/uncle & nephew... I think this has gone far beyond Alabama. What's next? Zeus is a transsexual who reproduces with himself... to birth Athena?? And then Hera gets a botched surgery so her child comes out deformed... oh right...Hephaestus.

  • @Teramin1
    @Teramin1 3 года назад +552

    Two things that occurred to me that I’m pretty sure aren’t in the video
    1. While Aphrodite’s direct war connections were erased, they lived on in her romance with Ares, something that likely didn’t exist in the precursor dirties where she was the goddess of war.
    2. Zeus’ comment about Aphrodite not belonging on the battlefield might have served a dual purpose in also suggesting that love didn’t have a place on the battlefield, either between sides or also possibly to encourage the very gay greeks to not seek out romance with the other soldiers and disrupt the larger structure of loyalty in the army.

    • @crhu319
      @crhu319 2 года назад +42

      Err re 2 the Greeks in this era saw comradely love relationships as essential to keeping a tight phalanx. Not disruptive as the tactics were collective & absolutely rigid. Pun intended.

    • @PyrusFlameborn
      @PyrusFlameborn 2 года назад +24

      @@crhu319 you fight extra hard when your beloved is right next to you fighting as well and if you fail he dies as well

    • @roguemetamorph6353
      @roguemetamorph6353 Год назад +18

      Example A) Look what Paras did to his homeland in the name of "love".
      Example B) Who wants to watch their lover die like Achilles and Patroclus?

    • @PlanetEarth1369
      @PlanetEarth1369 Год назад +7

      @@PyrusFlamebornehe, “extra hard”.
      Yes, I know, I’m very mature.

    • @rorystockley5969
      @rorystockley5969 Год назад +5

      @@crhu319 Wrong. Completely the wrong era of greek battle.

  • @Wildstag
    @Wildstag 3 года назад +3118

    I almost wonder if her "Aphrodite Areia" epithet might have influenced her trysts with Ares. As a Goddess of Love and War, it'd be unsurprising that she'd also be down for some fun for the native Greek God of War.

    • @ave8685
      @ave8685 3 года назад +138

      Yeah and then she could take advantage of her husband to make weapons

    • @kyuven
      @kyuven 2 года назад +135

      Considering a lot of Ishtar and Ereshkigal's myths get sewn together, and Ereshkigal shacked up with the god of war and plague, and Aphrodite is kinda-sorta Ishtar...makes sense.
      Mythology is weird, yo.

    • @glasscardproductions4736
      @glasscardproductions4736 2 года назад +56

      @@ave8685, that's actually what nearly happened with Athena and Hephaestus, but then Aphrodite came along and saw what fine work he could do for her jewelry. Aphrodite Areia only met Ares, so he'd probably be her provider of that kind of thing.

    • @Scarshadow666
      @Scarshadow666 2 года назад +10

      @@kyuven
      ^ This! Mythology gets weird the more you go down into the rabbit hole.

    • @zrc1514
      @zrc1514 Год назад +21

      @@glasscardproductions4736 Athena and Hephaestus never had intimate relations, kinda defeats the virgin goddess thing. He tried to assault her once which ended up impregnating Gaia and Athena raised the subsequent child but that's the closest thing to happen. Not sure about the jewelry bit, I've only seen versions where Zeus sets them up out of fear or some similar negative emotion of Aphrodite.

  • @justsomeguyanimations
    @justsomeguyanimations 4 года назад +5523

    "Zeus realizing there's no save answer to that question, pawns the responsibility off on some random trojan kid."
    At first I wondered why the head God would even worry about his safety but then I realised that the godesses in question were the goddess of wisdom and battle strategy, his wife, and a godess who's arguably the most powerful in the pantheon as she has power over love and lust, Zeus's biggest weakness
    Damn. Scariest fucking combo I can imagine.

    • @nyetloki
      @nyetloki 4 года назад +459

      Zeus wasn't that powerful. Only thing that kept other Olympians from overtaking him was essentially their petty arguments and the lack of motivation.

    • @justsomeguyanimations
      @justsomeguyanimations 4 года назад +292

      @@nyetloki lol. But he was still clearly more powerful than his kids like Apollo. His siblings are probably on par with him in terms of power

    • @stephaniekrutzler7895
      @stephaniekrutzler7895 4 года назад +326

      Also. He may not have wanted to upset his daughter(athena), wife(hera)(side note she was amazing at revenge!), or his aunt(aphrodite)(I think she is his aunt...thats what I gather from the family tree, as she is the sister of Zeus's father Kronos via the "bath bomb ball sack" story.)

    • @elmolovesyou2320
      @elmolovesyou2320 3 года назад +234

      @@stephaniekrutzler7895 aphrodite is sometimes his aunt and sometimes his daughter.
      if you go by the ouranos' balls falling into the sea and aphrodite being born from it, that means shes his aunt.
      if you go by her being the daughter of zeus and dione then shes his daughter.

    • @100lovenana
      @100lovenana 3 года назад +148

      I agree with the comments above. Zeus wasn't really that powerful, and there's a good reason he would fear Aphrodite since his weakness was very apparent to everyone who knew about his "love escapades". But he was still the king of Olympus for a reason. He was one of the most powerful gods: Having the power over storms and lightning is a very scary thought (we all know that mother nature is scary, and storms are no exception). The only ones I can think of that would oppose him with equal (or more) power would be the Titans of higher rank (at least the ones left alive, like Gea, who is literally goddess of the Earth itself) and his siblings, like Poseidon and his very own wife Hera. (I don't know if Hades counts, he may be the god of the underworld but his powers over death aren't really effective against immortals gods. That would explain why he hasn't stood against Zeus despite disagreeing with him many times.)
      The one exception to this would be Athena, and there's an entire mythos behind her explaining why despite being so powerful (to the point where she could actually beat Zeus) she doesn't try to dethrone him. It's basically the fact that she's a woman (misogynistic ancient Greece at it again). Apparently Prometheus' prediction (or at least one of them), was that the child of Zeus with more equal power to him would defeat him, and who has more equal power to him than Athena? She was literally born ONLY through him, without any mother (the whole coming out of his head myth). But apparently Prometheus specified that the child had to be a SON, so females were out of the question. This is the card that Zeus and other gods played to tell Athena that, because she's a woman, she doesn't have the right to dethrone him. Her response to this not-a-man counter attack varies from many interpretations of the Olympic mythos. The most preferred one nowadays is that she knew she couldn't do anything because most of the gods were already approving the prophecy that it had to be a male descendant, so if she tried to defy Zeus anyway, she would have a good chunk of powerful gods against her. She knew a war against a bunch of all-powerful inmortal beings would end VERY badly. So she "agreed" to not be the child that Prometheus said would dethrone Zeus, but that didn't stop her from becoming one of the most venerated gods through just intelligence and wits. Many people have theorized that yes, Athena really was more powerful than Zeus, and could've dethroned him anytime she wanted, but she didn't do it because she was smart: She knew she would be outnumbered if she tried to defy him, so she tried to strategically "beat" Zeus by gaining the respect and love of the mortals in numbers, somehow "beating" him in being the most respected god of all. And you could say she succeeded, since Wisdom and War were VERY important for both greeks and romans.
      Obviously there's way more depth an details to this story, but this comment is already way to long.

  • @aperson7199
    @aperson7199 5 лет назад +1726

    Aphrodite actually CAN be classified as a war god, because of how many wars/ conflicts she started!

  • @c0mput3r80y
    @c0mput3r80y 2 года назад +298

    I think it's funny that the Golden Apple competition started when Achilles' Parents got married, and ended many years later when Achilles had been born, grown up, and become a famous warrior. That means that Hera, Aphrodite, and Athena all fought over a stupid beauty contest for at least 20 YEARS.

    • @adeleaslan8182
      @adeleaslan8182 Год назад +23

      I just realized that timeline makes no sense 💀

    • @aina____
      @aina____ Год назад +34

      Well they are gods so their perception of time is different, 20 years for humans is a very long time while 20 years for gods are just a few days

    • @sasielb8922
      @sasielb8922 Год назад +18

      @@aina____yea they got all the time in the universe to ponder and seethe while humans gotta forgive and forget before we wither away with our senior citizen’s discount

    • @rodlurks66
      @rodlurks66 Год назад +11

      Closer to 17 years as Achilles was 16 when he went to Troy.

    • @DragonbIaze052
      @DragonbIaze052 5 месяцев назад +1

      @@rodlurks66 Didn't Odysseus leave for war with a pregnant wife and come home to a teen son?

  • @chrisp.9385
    @chrisp.9385 5 лет назад +778

    Aphrodite in war:
    "You fall in love and you fall in love, everyone falls in love"

    • @urmomlovesme811
      @urmomlovesme811 5 лет назад +50

      "except u, u ugly"

    • @jadefields9020
      @jadefields9020 5 лет назад +15

      @@urmomlovesme811 except for hephestus

    • @vicklepickle301
      @vicklepickle301 5 лет назад +17

      *asexual and aromantics moving to america*

    • @juiweiyang1033
      @juiweiyang1033 5 лет назад +16

      Nearly all ancient pagan religion got one thing in common, the goddess of sex, is also associate with motherhood, warrior and always portray as extremely beautiful.

    • @thebestcentaur
      @thebestcentaur 4 года назад +1

      Guess I got passed over...

  • @soljustsol8616
    @soljustsol8616 5 лет назад +1953

    “Bang bang into the room”
    **Three goddesses jump in front of poor Paris**

    • @noahenyet3302
      @noahenyet3302 4 года назад +40

      Shoto Todoroki SOMETHING’S WRONG, I CAN FEEL ITt

    • @WhyAreWeHereJustToSuffer69
      @WhyAreWeHereJustToSuffer69 4 года назад +20

      Shoto Todoroki: gawd yes-NO I DIDNT CALL UPON YOU APHRODITE. GOD DAM-

    • @ok-hr4if
      @ok-hr4if 4 года назад +7

      SHOTOOOOOOOO

    • @panicontheargo7034
      @panicontheargo7034 4 года назад +6

      Pretty much the gods in general

    • @WhyAreWeHereJustToSuffer69
      @WhyAreWeHereJustToSuffer69 4 года назад +5

      papuruheizu. Ya know when I first saw this I had no idea what ur comment meant,but now I have da knowledge, of my hero academia

  • @ashohkawa2419
    @ashohkawa2419 5 лет назад +3371

    “She would literally murder people to maintain her OTPs and NOTPs.”
    Same

    • @nightshade_v76
      @nightshade_v76 5 лет назад +19

      Same

    • @chrishansen1842
      @chrishansen1842 5 лет назад +66

      _So you have chosen..... _*_Death_*

    • @alienindisguise5546
      @alienindisguise5546 5 лет назад +17

      Fan fiction authors be like?

    • @pastelloca6976
      @pastelloca6976 5 лет назад +27

      Toxic shippers be like

    • @jadefields9020
      @jadefields9020 5 лет назад +7

      @@pastelloca6976 if you think she is bad our little cherub is worse than her even zeus is afraid of cupid do not be fulled by his chubby baby body he is a monster😈

  • @lizzielorelli5740
    @lizzielorelli5740 2 года назад +160

    I love these god dissections! I would honestly love to see one about Hera. She’s the goddess of marriage, patron of kings, goddess of family, she’s awesome and powerful but often portrayed as vengeful and petty. I wonder if she has any deeper roots like Aphrodite

  • @Uldihaa
    @Uldihaa 5 лет назад +2595

    You know, re-watching this (look, I like it okay), it hit me. It many ways, Aphrodite could more accurately be called a goddess of passion, rather than just love/sex. Love, sex, war, and even politics (at the time especially) could be considered endeavors requiring passion. It even explains her connection to Hephaestus, since craftsmen would also be passionate about their works. When looked at that way, the contradictions kind of fade away.
    I wonder if the confusion might have been a translation issue? As the cults migrated, they would have shifted languages as they went. So maybe in Cult A, they mistranslated a word that means passion into one that is more frequently used for love/sex, while Cult B kept to the more general translation. I'm just throwing this out there, since I have no research to back it up. But it certainly seems possible, especially when you consider modern language drift due to slang and the like.

    • @eclipsemoons6557
      @eclipsemoons6557 5 лет назад +189

      I like that theory.

    • @lurker666
      @lurker666 5 лет назад +7

      x@@eclipsemoons6557

    • @CarmenBrunnaDuarte
      @CarmenBrunnaDuarte 5 лет назад +48

      No, it wasn't.
      "Passion" is any feeling, not only the romantic/sexual one.
      Is any of our animal urges from deep within, including rage, fear, saddness, joy, etc.
      Things we supposedly suffer. It's imposed to us by a "higher power" (gods, nature, genes, geniuses, etc.) and we have little or no control about.

    • @Uldihaa
      @Uldihaa 5 лет назад +55

      @Mullerornis But cults still need to talk to each other. I'm not talking about written texts necessarily. Spoken languages would still need to be translated too. An Assyrian would not speak the same language as a Macedonian, for example. So in trying to communicate, errors occur.

    • @theinimitablejora522
      @theinimitablejora522 5 лет назад +79

      Genius. That'd also explain why Eros is more specifically about love.

  • @cmaej28
    @cmaej28 4 года назад +1623

    "Aphrodite is terrible at managing her own relationships, but she does like helping other people with theirs."
    I can name at least two of my girlfriends who are like that.

    • @elineverstraeten1872
      @elineverstraeten1872 4 года назад +65

      People can do whatever they want, but maybe the problem is that you have too many girlfriends

    • @matthewgallaway3675
      @matthewgallaway3675 4 года назад +36

      @@elineverstraeten1872 I feel you misunderstood.

    • @elineverstraeten1872
      @elineverstraeten1872 4 года назад +57

      @@matthewgallaway3675 Yes, I am misunderstood and I appreciate your empathy.

    • @mslightbulb
      @mslightbulb 4 года назад +13

      Current girlfriends or ex girlfriends. Either way maybe run, run while you still can.

    • @elmolovesyou2320
      @elmolovesyou2320 3 года назад +15

      maybe the person meant girlfriends as in female friends.

  • @werewolfanimegirl6261
    @werewolfanimegirl6261 5 лет назад +2298

    Can't wait until Persephone gets a video

    • @wisewillow7530
      @wisewillow7530 5 лет назад +109

      ya maybe OSP can tell us why all the gods gave her there children when they needed to be hide. Every video red always talking about this god and that god gave perseph there child to care for lol XP i find it soo funny

    • @snekkoheckko4466
      @snekkoheckko4466 5 лет назад +70

      @@wisewillow7530 Probally because no one wants to mess with hades

    • @jadefields9020
      @jadefields9020 5 лет назад +19

      @Squidward i know what about hades and persephone in one video

    • @Lord_Of_Night
      @Lord_Of_Night 5 лет назад +7

      @@jadefields9020 I think Red already made one. The underworld myths video.

    • @carolineseitz7426
      @carolineseitz7426 5 лет назад +7

      YES! I’ve seen so many things on the internet that contradict each other. But I’m too lazy to actually look it up myself. 🤷🏻‍♀️

  • @strongfish9198
    @strongfish9198 3 года назад +138

    Literally anyone: **is single**
    Aphrodite: and I took that personally

  • @Uldihaa
    @Uldihaa 5 лет назад +1904

    All that censoring must have been hell. You must have gotten pretty damn tired of seeing Aphrodite boobs. And damn I love it when you dive in on a particular deity's origins. It must be exhausting, but know at least one viewer deeply appreciates all of your hard work.

    • @geminiadastra8662
      @geminiadastra8662 5 лет назад +15

      Red missed some though.

    • @flinko99
      @flinko99 5 лет назад +9

      @@geminiadastra8662 Tell me more!

    • @goldendemise4105
      @goldendemise4105 5 лет назад +86

      @Purerasslin RUclips is really on some shit with demonetization

    • @Great_Olaf5
      @Great_Olaf5 5 лет назад +3

      Me too.

    • @Uldihaa
      @Uldihaa 5 лет назад +42

      @Purerasslin Because RUclips is an ass and will demonetize at the slightest excuse.

  • @TalkingVidya
    @TalkingVidya 5 лет назад +811

    My favorite part of Red's videos on Aphrodite is her using the chessiest love songs she can find.

    • @whatwhat98
      @whatwhat98 5 лет назад +4

      Lou Bega's 'Mambo Number 5' is no love song.

    • @kitcutting
      @kitcutting 5 лет назад +4

      whatwhat98 Mambo No. 5 is the name of the song.*****

    • @whatwhat98
      @whatwhat98 5 лет назад +3

      @@kitcutting good thing im used to feeling like an idiot. Thanks for the correction

    • @Jessie91J
      @Jessie91J 5 лет назад +3

      I found the songs sooo distracting!!!

    • @voivodadracula1936
      @voivodadracula1936 5 лет назад +2

      Same tbh.
      Btw good to see you here

  • @katherinerobinson7540
    @katherinerobinson7540 5 лет назад +606

    Just a thought, but when you consider Aphrodite's history as a war goddess, her relationship with Ares makes even more sense. While the more common versions of her deny her original identity as a war goddess, her relationship with the literal embodiment of war still gives her that connection to that "former" part of herself. It also may help show why war/battle is a backdrop to her stories or result of some action Aphrodite preforms.
    In some ways her relationship/connection with Hephaestus even becomes more logical beyond the forced marriage narrative the mythology provides us with: it makes sense to connect a war goddess, former or otherwise, with the blacksmith god who forges the weapons of the gods.

    • @agentzwlf3693
      @agentzwlf3693 5 лет назад +20

      Shame she prefers the guy she can talk about war with rather than the guy that can supply her with the actual tools of war.

    • @thistleserbel2214
      @thistleserbel2214 5 лет назад

      @@agentzwlf3693 its looks really.

    • @kpimkpim349
      @kpimkpim349 5 лет назад +16

      Ares is 'the god of war' is a bit misleading. From my current understanding Ares is the God of War in the sense of the passion/rage/feeling of the warrior or brutality of war it's self. Athena is also the Goddess of war but the 'strategic/tactical/disciplined aspect. So I see Aphrodite and Ares having a relationship alluding to the 'passion' they share as a mutual part of their natures. That's just me doh'

    • @jaeg.3806
      @jaeg.3806 5 лет назад

      @@agentzwlf3693 It's good social commentary though.

    • @TheWildmanden
      @TheWildmanden 5 лет назад +3

      @@kpimkpim349 Well, also, as far as we know, Aphrodite was into dudes and Athena was into books, so pairing her with Ares made a lot more sense, especially if you were trying to appeal to a broader audience. Besides, Ares was way more popular in Sparta than Athena, so it might also be a geographical thing.

  • @prof.loophole9708
    @prof.loophole9708 3 года назад +115

    Rewatching this I suddenly realized something. The fact Aphrodite had an epitaph of war is why she frequently hooked up with Ares the God of War. This was probably a form protest to keep the idea of love and war being linked still tied to Aphrodite.

    • @mattisvov
      @mattisvov 3 года назад +20

      Hm. Interesting observation.
      You know, it might seem random to have a deity for boinking and fighting. But if I'm just speculating, the common thread of those two activities are PASSION, right? If you want to kill or sleep with a person, you are probably not emotionally distant about that fact.
      Also note that Ares is the more primal, aggressive aspect of war, as opposed to Athena being the goddess of strategy and tactics.

  • @MsPageMistress
    @MsPageMistress 5 лет назад +3809

    ...wait, she was never a child.
    She. Was. Never. A. Child.
    That... that explains it, that explains why she just does not understand why actions have consequences. SHE NEVER LEARNED THIS GROWING UP BECAUSE SHE NEVER DID!
    Other Greek gods may have their petty moments, but their actions rarely have such terrible consequences to so many people, because they know better.
    Aphrodite is just a woman child. It all makes sense now!

    • @MrAcuriteOf1337
      @MrAcuriteOf1337 5 лет назад +221

      Athena turned out fine. Go back to your fanfiction and intro lit classes.

    • @ajomobaker8694
      @ajomobaker8694 5 лет назад +396

      I mean you could say the same with Athena but she is mostly the more mature one. Plus I'm pretty most of the Greek gods were just childish whether or not they grew up. Hermes stole cattle after a few days he was born

    • @MsPageMistress
      @MsPageMistress 5 лет назад +331

      @@MrAcuriteOf1337 Yeah, Athena came out of Zeus's head as an adult LONG after he swallowed her mother, implying that she was born and grew up before that point, being raised by a very smart titaness.

    • @MsPageMistress
      @MsPageMistress 5 лет назад +158

      @@ajomobaker8694 Oh, I don't deny being childish. But Hermes figured out that actions had consequences and figured out ways to lessen them. He used the guts of one of the cows to make the first lyre, and later traded that to Apollo, not only making him less mad, but also getting a sweet staff out of it. Aphrodite doesn't do that stuff.

    • @duncanmckelvey5602
      @duncanmckelvey5602 5 лет назад +157

      Athena was also the goddess of wisdom and could probably see the consequences of her actions easier

  • @emiljosefsson9149
    @emiljosefsson9149 5 лет назад +1701

    Aphrodite 2.0:
    Make love, not war.
    Aphrodite Areia (AKA "OG Aphrodite"):
    Why not both?

    • @camramaster
      @camramaster 5 лет назад +46

      Eros: Chaos damn it mom/neice.

    • @BrokenLifeCycle
      @BrokenLifeCycle 5 лет назад +12

      (Fiesta music)

    • @samueljosephazzaro9664
      @samueljosephazzaro9664 5 лет назад +17

      Kali: Include dancing and I'm in!

    • @emiljosefsson9149
      @emiljosefsson9149 5 лет назад +12

      Shiva:
      Mommy, fuckin' step on me already!

    • @samueljosephazzaro9664
      @samueljosephazzaro9664 5 лет назад +12

      @@emiljosefsson9149 Hades: You know despite the fact we had a sh*t first date I'm glade we keep this classy Perseph. (Suddenly you see he's wearing a gimp suit)

  • @catchthesedreams92
    @catchthesedreams92 5 лет назад +1301

    *How the fight went between Aphrodite and Persephone:*
    Aphrodite: OH he's HOT NOW! Can I have him bAAAACK?
    Persephone, worrying about what Aphrodite will do with her adopted child: Oh HELL nAH!!

    • @dite898
      @dite898 4 года назад +106

      I researched a bit about the fight and they said that Persephone fell in love with Adonis and that Zeus had to mediate that 1/2 of the year Adonis would be with Aphrodite and the other half with Persephone, but Adonis likes his Mother(Aphrodite) that he just stayed with her. In one version, Persephone got jealous and sent a boar and killed him. In another version, the boar was Ares and in others Artemis killed Adonis. They were pretty complicated.

    • @decoral
      @decoral 4 года назад +31

      @@dite898 Aphrodite is not Adonis's mother.

    • @maxi_the_tabaxi2264
      @maxi_the_tabaxi2264 4 года назад +19

      *Oh Hades naw. Please refrain from making this mistake in the future, not trying to be rude.

    • @Borderose
      @Borderose 4 года назад +2

      Adonis was born when his mother seduced his grandfather.

    • @ilpensatore1462
      @ilpensatore1462 4 года назад +18

      Persephone banged Adone in all versions of the myth, so pretty much no

  • @mollydaughterofduck1484
    @mollydaughterofduck1484 3 года назад +101

    This one, Dionysus, Loki, and Persephone and Hades videos are my favourite. Love looking at all the history and syncretism.

  • @joshuahunt3032
    @joshuahunt3032 4 года назад +957

    “DAMMIT POMPEII JUNK LIKE THIS IS WHY YOU GOT SET ON FIRE”
    I love how Red just gets progressively angrier at having to censor human genitalia and other potentially sensitive organs in art. It’s sad, but also funny.

    • @Acquaintance6336
      @Acquaintance6336 4 года назад +16

      @Reg Eric she does if she wants to be monetized

    • @joyandgrace9183
      @joyandgrace9183 4 года назад +1

      Timestamp???

    • @revpembroke3082
      @revpembroke3082 4 года назад +3

      It's also funny because she missed a boob about 41 seconds in. Who I guess to be Aphrodite is covered, but there's a women on the left who still has one showing.

    • @monticore1626
      @monticore1626 4 года назад

      Although it is entirely in character for Aphrodite to dress minimally

    • @asdfzzz
      @asdfzzz Год назад +2

      Yeah, American puritanism is pretty sad, especially when it spills over into the internet instead of just staying in the US.

  • @valentinevalendor7913
    @valentinevalendor7913 4 года назад +949

    Child of Athena: “I’m wise” child of aphrodite: “my mother is a divine helicopter mom!”

  • @JustinY.
    @JustinY. 5 лет назад +18940

    So basically she was the world's first hentai haven administrator

  • @theenduriangamer5509
    @theenduriangamer5509 2 года назад +74

    Aphrodite: Goddess of Love and Beauty
    Asexuals: *Exist*
    Aphrodite: *So, you have chosen: DEATH*

  • @docingraham
    @docingraham 5 лет назад +710

    "*Athenian gasp" is my new favorite catchphrase.

    • @cheesecakelasagna
      @cheesecakelasagna 5 лет назад +9

      I'll use it at every opportunity from now on.

    • @virginiarailfannoah5415
      @virginiarailfannoah5415 5 лет назад +6

      Me too, @@cheesecakelasagna.

    • @Grace-ol2id
      @Grace-ol2id 5 лет назад +2

      I screenshoted it and it is now my background. It’s great

    • @virginiarailfannoah5415
      @virginiarailfannoah5415 5 лет назад +2

      You know, @@Grace-ol2id, I made that moment in the Theogony video where Athena says "Oops, I was aiming for the nose" a background. I also made 1:15 a background.

  • @Okada_Caelun
    @Okada_Caelun 5 лет назад +625

    So what you're saying is it's possible that Aphrodite didn't kidnap Helen of Troy without thinking of the consequences... but possibly did so as a war goddess knowing it would kick off the massive Trojan War?

    • @amandajohnson3531
      @amandajohnson3531 5 лет назад +242

      So on the outside she was, "Oh, silly me! I didn't mean for this to happen, I just thought they'd make the cutest couple! Teehee!"
      But on the inside she was, "Oh... this is gonna be fun."
      I'm okay with this idea.

    • @92JazzQueen
      @92JazzQueen 5 лет назад +166

      @@amandajohnson3531 She gets a war and her shipping confirmed. No wonder she and Ares hit it off.

    • @Great_Olaf5
      @Great_Olaf5 5 лет назад +27

      Another interpretation is that she did it no make her boyfriend happy. If you're in a part of Greece where the b was goddess aspect was suppressed.

    • @nesrynthesloth4952
      @nesrynthesloth4952 5 лет назад +2

      Omigod, yes

    • @InsaneLaughter01
      @InsaneLaughter01 5 лет назад +61

      Caelun Niveus Aphrodite: *Looks At Athena and Ares, then puts on shades* Whose the war goddess, now bitches?

  • @Druid-T
    @Druid-T 5 лет назад +561

    Is this gonna be a thing? Studying the evolution of the Pantheon and learning why certain ones have specific character traits, 'cause I'm all for that

    • @josh-oo
      @josh-oo 5 лет назад +4

      They've done it for other gods already. Are you new to this channel?

    • @InquisitorThomas
      @InquisitorThomas 5 лет назад +14

      Josh-oo, the Shape-Shitting Master of Dogshit Well they've only really done a video on the in depth origins of Gods for Dionysus and Aphrodite so far unless there's one
      I missed.

    • @josh-oo
      @josh-oo 5 лет назад +1

      @@InquisitorThomas Thank you for proving my point.

    • @najodo5209
      @najodo5209 5 лет назад +2

      Josh-oo, the Shape-Shitting Master of Dogshit that’s not all of them so your point doesn’t really stand for much

    • @josh-oo
      @josh-oo 5 лет назад +2

      @@najodo5209 I never said it was all of them. I said "They've done it for other gods already.", and then the other guy mentioned another god they'd done it for. He proved my point.
      Do you and the last guy have trouble comprehending what you've read, or something? You're both speaking as I said something wrong while saying things that prove I'm right, and it's honestly a little confusing.

  • @sceetherthenadder
    @sceetherthenadder 2 года назад +221

    What if Venus adopted Eros? Like she found him wandering around and was just, like, "Oh, child! Why are you wandering around? Are you lost? Where is your mother?"
    Ero would be like "Um... I... have no mother?"
    Aphrodite gasps "No mother?! This will not do! I am your mother now!"

    • @thelittleredhairedgirlfrom6527
      @thelittleredhairedgirlfrom6527 Год назад +12

      So essentially Marie Antoinette

    • @sceetherthenadder
      @sceetherthenadder Год назад +7

      @@thelittleredhairedgirlfrom6527 What do you mean? Marie Antoinette did this?

    • @thelittleredhairedgirlfrom6527
      @thelittleredhairedgirlfrom6527 Год назад +15

      @@sceetherthenadder yes. Multiple times.

    • @justintime3656
      @justintime3656 Год назад +5

      Venus is so Mother

    • @ElizabethGeis
      @ElizabethGeis Год назад +25

      @@sceetherthenadder She would adopt random orphans, let them live in the palace, pay for them to go to fancy boarding schools, ect. She put two girls through boarding school up until her (undeserved) death. She was actually an amazing person and it's so tragic that the people of France decided to make up all of this propaganda about her simply because they wanted to revolt like the American's just had against the British

  • @penofwildfire
    @penofwildfire 4 года назад +3491

    there was a male hunter of artemis? Dang that's freaking awesome.

    • @Phoenix_IsRising
      @Phoenix_IsRising 4 года назад +522

      He was one of the few guys who was really awesome towards women

    • @SethRGray
      @SethRGray 4 года назад +419

      Yeah his mom was an Amazon so that tracks

    • @DinsRune
      @DinsRune 4 года назад +403

      Dammit, my Percy Jackson OC I made in middle school didn't conflict with canon after all!

    • @Darkmythsolider
      @Darkmythsolider 4 года назад +39

      @@DinsRune yep!

    • @remuslupin1713
      @remuslupin1713 4 года назад +121

      damn i wish i could be a male hunter of artemis, would it count since im ftm... would i be allowed

  • @AE-wv8jd
    @AE-wv8jd 5 лет назад +2288

    quote of the day "the bath bomb ballsack is the least disturbing version"

    • @digitalmania6966
      @digitalmania6966 5 лет назад +22

      I died when she said that. It was amazing 😂

    • @stasia6103
      @stasia6103 5 лет назад +17

      It sounds like a very disturbing “toy”

    • @kiwisoup1863
      @kiwisoup1863 5 лет назад +17

      sidenote: “eating egypt”

    • @rhettdilley
      @rhettdilley 5 лет назад +2

      That alone made me subscribe. Funny line, great delivery

    • @AyubuKK
      @AyubuKK 5 лет назад +1

      Ace Blazer 😂

  • @Silverwind87
    @Silverwind87 4 года назад +1180

    Imagine if Artemis and Eros got into an argument, like maybe Eros scared away a deer Artemis was about to kill, and then she starts firing arrows at him, and Eros retaliates by firing a heart arrow. Artemis is pierced in the chest, and she's just like "Ow!" Then Eros, realizing that she's immune to the power of love, is all "oh shit" and flies away in fear.

    • @mohammedyousef4005
      @mohammedyousef4005 3 года назад +119

      I want this to be animated NOW

    • @Dovey12
      @Dovey12 3 года назад +34

      Wait I’ve seen you everywhere what-

    • @anarchomando7707
      @anarchomando7707 3 года назад +100

      And that my dear is what we call an ace
      They're made from the blood that Artemis spilt.
      And she will protect all of hers

    • @Ethan-cz8xq
      @Ethan-cz8xq 3 года назад +65

      Eros should've used the power of friendship

    • @arempy5836
      @arempy5836 3 года назад +40

      Maybe that's why Artemis never fell in love? She'd never be bested by a lesser archer.

  • @noxnox-e9s
    @noxnox-e9s 2 года назад +141

    Aphrodite: “Which version of my birth story do you want?”
    Me: “… None?”
    Aphrodite: “So the bath-bomb balls one, great.”
    Me: *Confused screaming*
    Also sidenote that joke killed me 😂

  • @brycevo
    @brycevo 5 лет назад +2529

    Aphrodite is just like that one hot nerd that loves shipping, sucks at relationships, but is great at advise and protection

    • @hopedean6424
      @hopedean6424 5 лет назад +147

      and might also cause drama all the time

    • @cassidivah6791
      @cassidivah6791 5 лет назад +42

      Bryce McKenzie omgs I didn't know I was aphrodite😃

    • @NoHandle44
      @NoHandle44 5 лет назад +3

      300th like!

    • @broseidon1658
      @broseidon1658 5 лет назад +5

      I’m a Poseidon.

    • @yaoi5987
      @yaoi5987 5 лет назад +9

      @@broseidon1658 STAY BACK YOU UNHOLY BEING

  • @isabellastokes5099
    @isabellastokes5099 4 года назад +2567

    Aphrodite:*angers if someone doesn’t date or doesn’t have no-no*
    Me, an AroAce: *nervous laughter*
    *I m I n D a n g e r*

    • @finlynham5841
      @finlynham5841 4 года назад +52

      Mood

    • @scooperdooper4097
      @scooperdooper4097 4 года назад +125

      U know ur toast when she glows red and not pink, or comes from the general direction of Sparta

    • @red5t653
      @red5t653 4 года назад +153

      @@scooperdooper4097 Aphrodite, fresh off a fuck session with Ares spotting an AroAce: You fucking DARE!?

    • @humanasir2250
      @humanasir2250 4 года назад +11

      Tf is a aroace

    • @isabellastokes5099
      @isabellastokes5099 4 года назад +79

      @@humanasir2250 aromantic and asexual
      Aromantic is you don’t feel romantic attraction
      Asexual being you don’t feel sexual attraction

  • @tangally
    @tangally 5 лет назад +744

    i'd really like one of these about Hestia. she's supposedly one of the most major gods, and one of the children of Kronos, but there seem to be exactly 0 myths about her… idk, seems like it'd be interesting.

    • @wooyeah1738
      @wooyeah1738 4 года назад +116

      There’s really only a few. She’s a major god because she was worshipped a lot in Greece, because she was the goddess of the Hearth, and therefore really important.

    • @panicontheargo7034
      @panicontheargo7034 4 года назад +172

      I think the reason why there are so few myths about her is because she minded her own business and was kind to literally everyone. Nobody on Olympus disliked her, and basically teamed up once to protect her.

    • @lisrt7350
      @lisrt7350 4 года назад +106

      Huh. It's so easy to overlook her. Since her name means hearth I wonder if Hestia stories were cookbooks, diy and farming manuals, or herbal lore passed on through families... Nothing epic, but still interesting.

    • @joelleblanc8670
      @joelleblanc8670 4 года назад +67

      She was the only member of the whole family who wasn't insane, homicidal or sociopathic.

    • @tomsmurf4225
      @tomsmurf4225 4 года назад +78

      She was a sweet girl who didn't meddle with other peoples lives and was kind and caring to the point that all the other gods loved her. The only myth that prominently involves her is when some guy tried to rape her while drunk, and ALL THE OTHER GODS came to her aid and beat the shit out of the offending party.

  • @smartguy458
    @smartguy458 3 года назад +120

    Aphrodite was married to Hephaestus, true, but people seem to forget that she was FORCED to marry Hephaestus when Hera was fused to a cursed throne, that he made as payback for throwing him like he was last week's mushu pork. Not only that, but some tellings say that she didn't really like Hephaestus that much, even though Hephaestus treated her well. So when she started sleeping with Ares, she was bummed out because Hephaestus was always busy at his forge instead of spending time with his wife. Also, she presided over beauty, so she appreciated all kinds of beauty (take the tale of Pygmalion), including male beauty, which, to Aphrodite, Ares was a picture perfect example of. In the end, Ares and Aphrodite were a better match for each other. Also, if anyone knows anything about being an unfaithful spouse, it's Zeus.

  • @mo1ya938
    @mo1ya938 5 лет назад +661

    She didn't have a childhood? That explains a lot.

    • @Jozenchill
      @Jozenchill 5 лет назад +19

      Talk about the daddy issues while your at it lol.

    • @bellringer53
      @bellringer53 5 лет назад +37

      In a way they are the two extremes. One who is pure maturity and rules, and the other is a immature party girl. (I know this is star from accurate. I'm just using the base impressions of these goddesses so this isnt as long as the video itself.)

    • @evansageser6943
      @evansageser6943 5 лет назад +36

      Honestly the only goddesses whose childhood is really emphasized are Artemis, (whose virgin hunter aspect means she’s frequently depicted as a young girl) and sometimes Persephone (often she’s kidnapped by Hades while still young, representing the youthful qualities of Spring.)
      By contrast many of the male gods have stories about them as youths, though Dionysus definitely has the most defined childhood since he spent most of it as a mortal and adventuring like any good demigod should do.

    • @Ando1428
      @Ando1428 5 лет назад +6

      @LagiNaLangAko23 yeah but she could have gained knowledge while she was in their. I mean most of the gods were in kronos body since birth. They grew up and where knowledgeable. Aphrodite was brought up from seafoam. Dionysus and athena were stuck in zues it doesn't mean they were without knowledge.

    • @AyubuKK
      @AyubuKK 5 лет назад +1

      Mo1Ya true

  • @MrJethroha
    @MrJethroha 5 лет назад +608

    I'd love to see a deep dive into Artemis and Apollo, since they both kind of subsumed a ton of characteristics from other gods into themselves. They're also sort of classic counter points to Aphrodite and Dionysus.

  • @keiraharter992
    @keiraharter992 5 лет назад +380

    Aphrodite in a nutshell:
    •SHIPSHIPSHIPSHIP
    •r/entitledparents
    •Jealous brosephine
    Edit: Oh okay this comment is popular now, lemme add to this list
    •Alright lets start some good old war
    •Literally ships things so hard, she starts wars
    •Loyal but also... not?
    Feel free to comment some others, idk I wouldn’t say my list is very good lmao

    • @KhanhNguyen-mh5ec
      @KhanhNguyen-mh5ec 5 лет назад +18

      The world first shiper who ship stuff before shipping is cool

    • @user-kw7mr6xt9n
      @user-kw7mr6xt9n 5 лет назад +16

      Now I'm picturing Aphrodite trying to take somebody's cat for her kid

    • @chocolizard678
      @chocolizard678 5 лет назад +2

      @@KhanhNguyen-mh5ec Now I can imagine Aphrodite using her power to take kid's Nintendo switches.

    • @KhanhNguyen-mh5ec
      @KhanhNguyen-mh5ec 5 лет назад

      meh okthen No no no, that would be Hermès.

    • @KaiTenSatsuma
      @KaiTenSatsuma 5 лет назад +1

      + Pink. Always.

  • @purplehaze2358
    @purplehaze2358 3 года назад +228

    I see absolutely no problem with Aphrodite being a little..well, confused in terms of personality because she’s a love goddess. Love is incredibly fickle and subject to heavy variation.

  • @AsianRock90
    @AsianRock90 5 лет назад +561

    16:14 Staying single and refusing to mingle.
    Sounds like the only plausible way to survive in Ancient Greece.
    But even that never works. Thanks, Aphrodite.

    • @m.ivyluna4632
      @m.ivyluna4632 5 лет назад +39

      Bellgram
      Or Zeus comes and impregnated you in the form of a sun beam while your locked in a tower

    • @alienindisguise5546
      @alienindisguise5546 5 лет назад +13

      Staying single and refusing to mingle
      If that were Half of Zeus's lovers then half of greek mythology would be wiped out

  • @owenchafer1083
    @owenchafer1083 5 лет назад +803

    "bath bomb ballsack" is a sentence I never thought I would hear.

    • @josiahklein70
      @josiahklein70 5 лет назад +2

      Why were you thinking that?

    • @TheAnon03
      @TheAnon03 5 лет назад +1

      At least not on this channel.

    • @TypicalUkraine_
      @TypicalUkraine_ 5 лет назад +8

      Its the best type of bath bomb for guys and lesbians, because when you throw it into the water, not only do you get a spectacular blast of color, you also get a beautiful girl.

    • @sourcandie5230
      @sourcandie5230 5 лет назад

      Same

    • @hibak_
      @hibak_ 5 лет назад

      And not regret

  • @starlight4649
    @starlight4649 4 года назад +466

    Aphrodite: the Goddess of always losing all of her clothes spontaneously mere seconds before anyone paints or sculpts her likeness.

    • @justcallmebastard
      @justcallmebastard 3 года назад +61

      I took a mythology class in high school, and apparently almost every statue of Greek deities were like that. The idea was that they were physically perfect/gorgeous, so it would be a crime to cover it up. Just a fun fact

    • @starlight4649
      @starlight4649 3 года назад +32

      @@justcallmebastard
      Hey zeus, can I sculpt you in your epic flowing robes?
      Zeus: sure! (Takes off everything but a laurel)

    • @cheezemonkeyeater
      @cheezemonkeyeater 3 года назад +6

      That sounds like something from a Terry Pratchett book.

    • @ussinussinongawd516
      @ussinussinongawd516 3 года назад +1

      but xeus is usually covered

    • @ave8685
      @ave8685 3 года назад +1

      Romans: lets flip the switch

  • @jessicakorte
    @jessicakorte Год назад +21

    1:11 if Zeus were anyone but Zeus, the safe answer would have been "my beautiful wife, whom I love and adore"
    But it's Zeus so no one would buy that.

  • @basilcakes
    @basilcakes 5 лет назад +720

    Aphrodite: I'm gonna ship it
    Everyone: Dont please
    Aphrodite: to late
    Edit: holy mother how do I have so many likes

    • @c4tfsh8
      @c4tfsh8 4 года назад +3

      You could make a religion out of this!

  • @annawesometheflameingpikac3688
    @annawesometheflameingpikac3688 5 лет назад +1494

    Aphrodite to the Aromantic Asexual hunters of Artemis:
    "Am I a joke to you?"

    • @fandemusique4693
      @fandemusique4693 5 лет назад +60

      Thalia : yes.

    • @alienindisguise5546
      @alienindisguise5546 5 лет назад +12

      Wait which goddess was lesbian I thought it was like artemis or Athena

    • @imayhaveasmalldickbut3125
      @imayhaveasmalldickbut3125 5 лет назад +84

      @@alienindisguise5546 artemis was most commonly regarded as an asexual aromantic virgin. the reasoning for this is that she swore off love and sex entirely, to be a maiden goddess of hunting (and eventually the moon). however, in some versions of greek mythology, Artemis only swore off men... and in fact had many lesbian nymph lovers (one of them being Callisto, who was later turned into the constellation Ursa Major after Zeus shapeshifted into Artemis and tricked her into having lesbian sex with him that... somehow resulted in a pregnancy??).
      tl;dr: it depends on which myths ur reading
      and also - no goddesses were really all that explicitly 100% lesbian, i'm afraid. there are heaps of greek stories about homosexual men, but much fewer about homosexual women. callisto definitely, athena was said to be attracted to a girl once, and sometimes aphrodite was said to be a patron of lesbianism/bisexuality, but there's nothing really concrete (although mythology is never concrete)

    • @carlosroo5460
      @carlosroo5460 5 лет назад +3

      And no a very fun one

    • @jadefields9020
      @jadefields9020 5 лет назад +32

      @@carlosroo5460 and dionysus was semi androgenous meaning that he had majority male traits but he also had some female traits that made him distinct from the rest of the gods

  • @michakaminski-pakua2774
    @michakaminski-pakua2774 5 лет назад +685

    0:58 Eris, the goddess of internet chatrooms

  • @paragamer85
    @paragamer85 3 года назад +278

    Honestly, if Paras had picked Athena he probably could’ve ended up with all of the stuff promised to him by Hera and Aphrodite as well if you think about it. 🤔

    • @wolfsbanealphas617
      @wolfsbanealphas617 2 года назад +26

      Yeah but it would take time

    • @lewisaino
      @lewisaino 2 года назад +13

      Yeah LOL Take it by force.

    • @godkingtroycalypso877
      @godkingtroycalypso877 2 года назад +64

      If I remember my old literature class correctly, apparently part of the myth said Hera cursed any of Paras' children to be stillborn, and Athena cursed him to lose every battle he fought in. You can probably imagine what Aphrodite would have cursed him with had she not be chosen

    • @coltonwilliams4153
      @coltonwilliams4153 2 года назад +32

      There was literally no way to win in that situation.

    • @durrangodsgrief6503
      @durrangodsgrief6503 2 года назад +14

      Probably should have tried a Styx oath before he made a choice

  • @danielthemaniel7461
    @danielthemaniel7461 5 лет назад +323

    "Bath Bomb Ballsack"
    Quote of the century

  • @tach-uq5tw
    @tach-uq5tw 3 года назад +1239

    So that's why Aphrodite has that relationship with Ares!
    Like, doesn't it make sense that the spartans would ship their favourite god and the prettiest war goddess in the pantheon? What if her regular liaisons with Ares are a remnant of those days?

    • @Jays6926
      @Jays6926 3 года назад +146

      It’s also supposed to symbolize love and war. Femininity and masculinity.

    • @4wheal
      @4wheal 3 года назад +60

      Actually the main gods of the Spartans were Apollo and Artemis not Ares.
      That's not ro say they didn't worship him but he was not there most beloved god

    • @arthurdias6860
      @arthurdias6860 2 года назад +24

      @@4wheal seriously? Even with all the *WAR WAR WAR* thingy going on Sparta?

    • @night4263
      @night4263 2 года назад +40

      I believe the Spartans mainly worshipped some other Gods besides Ares
      Apollo ( Mainly celebrated his festivals and was widely believed to have made the Spartan constitution according to Herodotus )
      Artemis ( Artemis Orthia had presumably the most important temple in Sparta )
      Athena ( Big cult presence in Sparta )
      Zeus ( Worshipped everywhere since he is the chief god of the pantheon )
      Kastor and Polydeukes ( they were collectively known as the Gemini in Latin, Dioskouroi in Greek I think )

    • @coltonwilliams4153
      @coltonwilliams4153 2 года назад +26

      Maybe Ares wasn’t the main god in Sparta, but they did have his chained statue in their temple dedicated to him, so he must’ve been pretty damn significant.

  • @insertclevernamehere1186
    @insertclevernamehere1186 3 года назад +2785

    Let's face it, Paris picked what he believed to be the least dangerous option, but forgot to take into account that this was Aphrodite he was dealing with...
    *- Ruler of half a continent?* Assassinations and politics sound fun?
    *- Wisdom and battle strategies?* Guess who's now responsible for the entire army?
    *- Hot girlfriend?* Maybe some jealous guys, but at least it's not a war, right?
    Hehe, right...?

    • @augustrempelewert4377
      @augustrempelewert4377 2 года назад +503

      My interpretation is that Paris thought he was in the wrong genre. Everybody who's ever read a fairy tale knows that pursuing power and knowledge is dangerous and amoral, but pursuing love makes you the good guy. Unfortunately, Ancient Greece works on different rules.

    • @ajvanmarle
      @ajvanmarle 2 года назад +297

      @@augustrempelewert4377 I think it was just a matter of education. Due to backstory, Paris had been raised by shepherds. If he'd been properly educated, he'd have recognized that he had the starring role in a Greek tragedy.

    • @_ladyyadzra2731
      @_ladyyadzra2731 2 года назад +94

      Paris is just a guy who had to choose. Remember Zeus not only pushed the responsibility to him but also bear the consequence.

    • @mckenziebate2949
      @mckenziebate2949 2 года назад +71

      I mean, Athena and Hera are dangerous enemies, but Aphrodite is so petty she'll straight up kill you. Athena doesn't seem like the revenge type to me, and maybe Zeus could convince Hera out of revenge?

    • @exaltedfalcheon1793
      @exaltedfalcheon1793 2 года назад +6

      @@mckenziebate2949 Hercules?

  • @0_Body
    @0_Body 3 года назад +43

    "All is fair in love and war" A goddess of both would be fairest of them all - Aphrodite probably

  • @eeriewaffle3938
    @eeriewaffle3938 5 лет назад +787

    Choose Athena dude..... Get OP Battle Tactics, Conquer Europe and Asia like good old Alex did, and just TAKE the hottest spouse you can find...... You could have ALL 3 if you were smart.....

    • @ArgKaiser
      @ArgKaiser 5 лет назад +93

      and that's why athena is the best greek deity. don't @ me

    • @cella_2156
      @cella_2156 5 лет назад +44

      @@ArgKaiser I kinda agree lol... I liked her as a kid, now I love Persephone, idk why...

    • @keizoxd5623
      @keizoxd5623 5 лет назад +17

      Paris couldn't know about Alexander because the Son of Philip II of Macedon wasn't even Born yet for about 700 Years

    • @redkite1908
      @redkite1908 5 лет назад +59

      Paris is not the smartest spear in the shed.

    • @sigridhorn2408
      @sigridhorn2408 5 лет назад +57

      Red Kite you mean “the sharpest knife in the Caesar”?

  • @Badghaca
    @Badghaca 5 лет назад +416

    Me: *avoids love*
    Aphrodite: *wait, that's illegal*

  • @Arbitor1
    @Arbitor1 5 лет назад +448

    And now "bath bomb ballsack" will forever be in my vocabulary

    • @colorado1164
      @colorado1164 5 лет назад

      You know when you climax in a full bath and then your balls becomes a bath bomb ball sack? Hate it when it happens

    • @PatrickCervantez
      @PatrickCervantez 5 лет назад

      Sounds like an awesome name for a skater punk band. Too bad it's not 1997.

    • @broseidon1658
      @broseidon1658 5 лет назад

      Why, thank you. It shall be in my vocabulary too.

    • @TObyvruh
      @TObyvruh 5 лет назад

      3 words turned into a Amazing word.

  • @Belthazor24
    @Belthazor24 Год назад +13

    "All is fair in love and war."
    -Aphrodite Areia, probably

  • @natasharichards2048
    @natasharichards2048 5 лет назад +811

    does anybody else want a full episode on Ishtar? she seems like a total badass

    • @nellmorrey5112
      @nellmorrey5112 5 лет назад +7

      YEA

    • @thegardenofesim1174
      @thegardenofesim1174 5 лет назад +23

      Penguinbot 5000 Gilgamesh might attack the channel if they did

    • @elogeticethan7790
      @elogeticethan7790 5 лет назад +7

      yea but ereshkigal

    • @slyfox9992
      @slyfox9992 5 лет назад +8

      @@thegardenofesim1174 that's why we have enkidu

    • @ohijohnson4259
      @ohijohnson4259 5 лет назад +9

      She IS a badass! Ishtar using a furious war of WMDs to make Marduk run and cry and hide is one of my faves. I'd love to see a big episode on her and her roots. I think people would be bowled over.

  • @sunlitsol5454
    @sunlitsol5454 5 лет назад +127

    "She's this fickle, temperamental force that just kind of shows up and causes chaos."
    So she's love? I mean, that's what love really is.

  • @sproutkid5936
    @sproutkid5936 5 лет назад +567

    Aphrodite is a strange breed of nicegirl and entitledparent.

    • @JustSomeonePassingBy
      @JustSomeonePassingBy 5 лет назад +98

      and the perfect bringer of 'petty revenge' and 'that happened'

    • @jascrandom9855
      @jascrandom9855 5 лет назад +48

      She's basically Regina George as a Mom

    • @kimberlyabbott2767
      @kimberlyabbott2767 5 лет назад +21

      And shipper

    • @Sparkle8205
      @Sparkle8205 5 лет назад +17

      Why does this make me think all the nicegirls/entitled parents decided to become a modern day Aphrodite

    • @speaks310
      @speaks310 5 лет назад +1

      Why is this so true

  • @Queen1001N
    @Queen1001N 11 месяцев назад +16

    Thinking of Aphrodite as a war goddess puts a slightly different perspective on the Judgement of Paris. He has to choose not between three powerful goddesses, but between three powerful WAR goddesses. No matter who he chose, it was going to end in conflict.

  • @FuzzyStripetail
    @FuzzyStripetail 5 лет назад +182

    I am so glad that you kept us all abreast of Aphrodite's numerous portrayals that apparently outnumber the abundance of ancient Greek and Roman paintings / sculptures of nude or mostly nude representations of women / goddesses.

  • @berilsevvalbekret772
    @berilsevvalbekret772 3 года назад +1019

    The thing that confuse me the most is there are so many goddesses whose concepts are 'political power , warfare , military tactics , wisdom , philosophy etc' yet women were almost always never allowed to have any political power , education , ownership of themselves.

    • @danthiel8623
      @danthiel8623 2 года назад +40

      True that

    • @alexandraguardian9840
      @alexandraguardian9840 2 года назад +152

      The only women who received education, ownership and to some extent political and military power were the wives and mothers of either kings, nobles, or very wealthy merchants.

    • @guilhermesantos8728
      @guilhermesantos8728 2 года назад +105

      Could be a remnant of older matriarchal civilizations' pantheons that adapted into patriarchal classical societies?

    • @fangsabre
      @fangsabre 2 года назад +85

      And almost all of those goddesses lost those epithets over time (with exceptions like Hera becoming Juno and MORE associated with the military)

    • @crhu319
      @crhu319 2 года назад +111

      Because the Greeks thought that was dangerous. They didn't think women lacked competence but did think they were more impulsive, lustful and could get more easily fanatical in support of sons in particular. Romans exploited this belief in a very clever way by making Aneas their founder. Both Carthage & Athens are founded by women in myth.
      Educated women were extremely common in the upper classes because she had to run things when men were off at war. Sparta is the extreme example but it was true in other places too. But they were far less common in middle classes in part because education was wildly expensive and women died in childbirth a lot. When a high proportion of men died in battle even in middle age this was less of an issue. But in general as societies lost from-the-front battlefield leaders, and put only poor young men into the fight at the front, even educated women lost status to the extreme of Victorian Age. There are now enough upper class older men at home out of the fight to run things as trustees or whatever. And they are far more likely to return from the war as well.

  • @406athena4
    @406athena4 5 лет назад +245

    Eris: if your not invited to the biggest wedding of the century get revenge by throwing a golden apple at some deities and saying it for the hottest.
    STREET SMARTS!

    • @kyoken8691
      @kyoken8691 5 лет назад +10

      Well you know, weddings are celebrations of the union of 2 people, and in ancient times this could also mean their families and households too. Not inviting the goddess of "discord" might have been an intentional oversight.

    • @nerdherder9340
      @nerdherder9340 5 лет назад +17

      This Guy Is Getting Married, See. And They Didn't Invite Me. Me! So I Go Over And Use The Bittenbinder Method And Throw A Golden Apple I Carry On Me At All Times. This Distracts The Goddesses And Now I've Thrown Them Off Their Rythm. I Tell Em That Now You're Looking At 10 Years Of War And Thats When I Make My Escape.

    • @ameryaser3987
      @ameryaser3987 5 лет назад +2

      John mulaney is always like worthy

    • @varegogothi803
      @varegogothi803 5 лет назад +4

      Crashin' the party, guess they lost my invention
      Friendly reminder got my own kinda persuasion
      Looks like this place could use a bit of misbehavior
      Happily ever after with a little flavor

    • @lolinyolo5641
      @lolinyolo5641 5 лет назад

      r/unexpectedmulaney

  • @turrelictom3013
    @turrelictom3013 2 года назад +78

    If I were Paris, I would’ve gone with Athena’s deal. I’d get smarter and would basically be among the greatest tacticians on the planet. So I’d basically be capable of conquering lands like Europe and Asia with my armies, and potentially getting the most beautiful woman in the world as war spoils. So I’d get everything they all offered.

    • @matthewbreytenbach4483
      @matthewbreytenbach4483 2 года назад +42

      You'd also get cursed to oblivion by two of the most vindictive goddesses in the Pantheon.

    • @sillygoosetaur
      @sillygoosetaur 2 года назад +8

      Might go with hera on this one just because i dont want to be cursed by her

    • @crhu319
      @crhu319 2 года назад +13

      Dude look up Aphrodite and Hera's wrathful curses & revenge takings. Athena by contrast can just make you lose fights which isn't even evil since all fights have a losing side anyway.

  • @camerongrow6426
    @camerongrow6426 5 лет назад +642

    Wonder Woman's classical origin suddenly makes so much sense.

    • @RichyArg
      @RichyArg 5 лет назад +12

      How exactly? the amazons are athena's crew, and we all know there are few feuds as petty and destructive in mythology as what Athena and Aphrodite had going on

    • @taekinuru2
      @taekinuru2 5 лет назад +9

      Wasn’t Wonder Woman once a warrior knockoff of Galatea once? Might have been a fan work.

    • @Solqueen86
      @Solqueen86 5 лет назад

      A little bit of Dick causes her to go crazy?

    • @abner-w-
      @abner-w- 5 лет назад +5

      @Young Man Originally, aphrodite made Wonder Woman. Or so I remember, I might be wrong.

    • @IggyTthunders
      @IggyTthunders 5 лет назад +6

      Wonder Woman's original creator was a bdsm fanatic who also invented the lie detector; which explains why her one weakness is being tied up by a guy. lol

  • @G_Okr
    @G_Okr 5 лет назад +266

    It's really hard not to recognise Red's progress in video quality over the years!(BTW I think it is time for the myth of Theseus, or Androklis, your choice)

    • @juno6624
      @juno6624 5 лет назад +7

      Hey! I totally agree and also think that she got waaay better from being amazing to... even more amazing! It will please you to hear tht she already covered Theseus, you can find that video on their channel.

    • @G_Okr
      @G_Okr 5 лет назад +4

      @@juno6624 Yeah I know, but she made a small mistake. She messed up the name by accident. The one that fought medusa and saved Andromeda is not Theseus, it's Perseus. It's really easy to get them mixed up. Theseus is the hero that united the 10 tribes of Attica, thereby making Athens. He fought the Minotaur in the labyrinth and named the Agean sea after his dead father. It's a really nice story! And I believe Red's humour would make it even more awesome!

    • @ryemmm3249
      @ryemmm3249 5 лет назад +3

      I really want her to do the story of the beginning, I think it is really cool!

  • @billpariss9559
    @billpariss9559 5 лет назад +366

    I would say that the three types of Aphrodite are more like Aphrodite the Athenian, Aphrodite the Spartian and Aphrodite the Christian

    • @taekinuru2
      @taekinuru2 5 лет назад +43

      Scary Terry “You get an aphrodite, and you get an aphrodite! Everyone gets their own aphrodite!”

    • @isaaclee3271
      @isaaclee3271 5 лет назад +8

      And Aphrodisiac the drug

    • @1KahlanAmnell1
      @1KahlanAmnell1 5 лет назад +4

      Urania and Pandemos sounds way more cooler man

    • @broseidon1658
      @broseidon1658 5 лет назад +1

      I’m down.

  • @othrwrldlysystm
    @othrwrldlysystm Год назад +2

    the way you draw aphrodite areia is so cool honestly, something about the design is just chefs kiss