Roy's Food Repair
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- Опубликовано: 27 май 2007
- This is one of my all-time favorite sketches. It was on The New Show, a short-lived sketch show on NBC. This appeared on January 13, 1984 and featured John Candy and Valerie Bromfeld, with appearances by Dave Thomas, Carrie Fisher, and Paul Simon.
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John was the only honest food repair guy in town...
I wouldn't have trusted him with my food
Roy
Never take food back to a dealer, they will screw you.
Love this. Roy's food repair. Lol
Even though he ate half the products brought in for repair....
the food they make now ya can’t even work on it.
touchofdumb it’s all computerized!! You need a college degree just to look at it!!
just consume it and buy a new one, that’s the way today
All plastic rubbish anyhow
Engineers today wouldn't even bother TRYING to locate the actual individual faulty raisin thats causing the problem, these days they are told by the manufacturer to just replace the whole slice without even so much as unpacking the dried-fruit tester and popping it on the bench???? Then they whip out a perfectly serviceable slice, replace it with a factory-fresh slice and just chuck a perfectly serviceable slice away... its madness I tell you!!!! Its even worse if you go to a main-dealer!! Shame because some of those German cakes are SO well made, its not like they haven't got the know-how!
Agree
Roy is a real stand up guy. Fixed my apple once. Worm got into it and wreaked havoc. Roy installed a new core, replaced a couple of the bad seeds, and gave her a fresh shiny new candy apple red skin. Would absolutely recommend 👍
We have the same sense of humor. Wanna be friends ?
Corny
He fixed a donut for me. When I picked it up the next day, It didn't even look like it ever had a hole in it.
Guys, i think this is fake news. Do some research.
NICE!
Paul Simon is so hilariously perfect as a guy who's bummed out that the salt fell off of his pretzels that John Candy has to take a moment to compose himself.
Where did you go Joe Dimaggio. Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you...
@@robertforster8984 he fixed Dimaggio's coffee maker too
Paul always looks so forlorn or uneasy at the least.....
It's funny because I never thought I'd see Paul Simon asking John Candy to put the salt back on his pretzels
I was waiting for some kind of pun related to Paul's songs, but if there was, I missed it.
Uncle Buck. Space Balls. Stripes. Planes Trains and Automobiles.Great Outdoors. We miss you John.
Summer Rental
How dare you forget Canadian Bacon!?
@GamesterX "NOSE DIVE!"
Home alone
Leave it to beaver
John Candy was pure comic genius. I met him once working at a popular bar in Toronto. He was really down to earth and when we quoted lines form his SCTV skits, he respond in character. A great guy, and definitely the comedian I miss the most.
that is amazing, got a 1-man show from a world-class talent. and of course he probably dished that out wherever he went, instead of getting bitter about people appreciating him for his gift.
25 years later and it still makes me sad.
@@msfunmail i believe it's more like 29 years now?
@@noturningbackever493 He died in 94'.
@@Dude-oh8vq As I said it's MORE like 29 years; that means not less, just more.
The world was a little less bright when we lost John Candy. RIP
I agree! Hell, the world the way it is now, I even long for the good ole days like February!
So true
Mexico. A Drinking ? 🍹..
@@finddeniro No in Canada. A eating?
HUH? Did he close up shop? I need some BBQ wings repaired!
The way he handles Paul Simon needs to be in every small business owner's mind. It's almost a textbook way to gently explain to a customer that your service isn't the best for their particular situation. You may not get the job that day, but people remember.
Buy some queso sauce dip the saltless pretzel in the sauce, then dip it in the loose salt, no problem
Imagine going into a writer's room with this. "So I want John Candy to repair Paul Simon's pretzels"
Awesome
"Salt rocks on the souls of her shoes"
John fixing Paul
@brandon jerome Very nicely done ✅
I thought that looked like Paul Simon.
Roy is a wizard with Mac and cheese. Mine was completely out of balance -- too much cheese in one spot, too little elsewhere. He had it evenly stired up in less than 24 hours. Highly recommend for pasta repair.
Bet he gave you a good deal on the wotk, as well!
Wow,in my neck of the woods you cant even find a good Mac and cheese guy.
@@stinkypinkeee5085 Very reasonable for a quick turnaround job. And my Tupperware was undamaged.
Did not expect Paul Simon to walk in mid-sketch with saltless pretzels, but I CERTAINLY did not expect Janice from Friends to botch a simple taco repair.
courtney?
JAAAAAhhhhhNis.
Hhaaaarrhh haaarhhhhhh haaarrhhhh.
That Janice.
She was one of the pretty girls, on the right.
John Candy wasn’t just funny, he had this crazy warm personality that just made you feel really good while laughing. I wish there was someone like him helping us thru 2020.
amen
Helping us thru 2023 too.
As would I; as an A-List Hollywood star, John Candy was no different from any other guy in terms of personality, hence why he was particularly good at playing the "everyman" in his movies
That feeling that you felt came from you, John was a warm and lovely guy, and it brought out the warm and lovely guy in you.
Exactly. Even when he loses it with the two girls, he pulls you back in. The guy could sell a mean shower curtain ring too.
Paul Simon and John Candy talking about pretzels. My childhood was blessed.
Simon Sez !!! ... Roy, fix my pretzels ... oh wait 🎵No need to be coy, Roy ... Just listen to me 🎵 😄😄😄😄
John Candy: Cheer up.
Paul Simon: Why????
John Candy: You'll see all that saltiness later in "Call Me Al" with Chevy Chase.
These pretzels are making me thirsty!
Years ago, I took my '67 VW to an old school German car mechanic. He was old, ran his own shop, and knew everything about VWs. I had tried to fix something on the engine, and screwed it up. Just like John, with the taped taco shell, he got pissed that I, a complete amateur, tried my hand at a difficult fix.
After he calmed down, he fixed it real cheap, because he knew I meant well, and that I trusted my precious car to him. Not alot guys like him around any more.
I was working as a sous chef when this first aired. I thought it was the most clever comedy bit i had ever seen. We used the term “food repair” often when someone screwed up in the kitchen.
Those pretzels must have been on some troubled water for the salt come off. He must have used a bridge over that troubled water to get to Roy's Food Repair.
Can you imagine the sound of silence when they looked in that bag?
They would have had bright eyes sparkling from the tears that were about to fall.
Those pretzels must've made him thirsty.
After he gets a new bag of pretzels, he's headed to Scarborough Fair.
Priceless.... $90 to put salt back on a $1.90 bag of pretzels... Priceless
Woah woah, hold on. He recommended the guy buy a new bag. Roy wasn't one to take advantage of customers.
Bag was a buck nine . . This was way back in Jan. 1984 . You could buy a loaf of bread for fiddy cents !
CLS CLS Priceless? He gave him a price...!
It'd cost you like 500$ today if taken into inflation. Lol
it’s manhours
“A dollar nine, this is what I’m sayin ya know.”
John Candy is the only actor I ever cried when he died.
Roy's not kidding. Knew some girls who made a similar mistake. They broke their Pop-Tarts and tried to put them back together. Ended up with chemical burns, one girl lost partial vision, the other ruptured an eardrum, both needed wheelchairs for the next few weeks.
Remember, folks: Leave food repair to the professionals.
If you've ever seen a Pop-Tart commercial from the 90s, you'll know the radiation those suckers put out is no joke.
Not funny...ohh well🤠
@@TheHighway420n You should have paid more attention. Roy can help you with your SOUR GRAPES problem...
one of those
girls was my
sister. still cant
see good.
This has to be the nicest, most wholesome and heartwarming comment section on RUclips
Well, it's John Candy, so......
Yep, that’s the essence of John Candy.
@Sean ... I wish it were, but I'm not sure you've read all of the comments in this section ... he he he ...
blow it out your ass pinhead....
@Sean ... Now, that you've tried to be so kind and charming. All the Trolls see you as fresh meat ...
To this day, I still miss the comedic genius of John Candy.
@First Name Last Name I agree. Bring on the unfunny gender bending/or ethnically diverse comedians to mock whites, trump and show their genitals! I'm so glad comedy has evolved
We all do buddy, we all do
Anyone else misses John Candy? Was an hell of an actor.
This very skit inspired me to be the successful food repair technician I am today.
Art Garfunkel took the salt off his pretzels
Art was framed Edie did it.
@@christienelson1437 with her shrieking voice
Naw, Yoko knocked the salt right off those pretzels!🎆🎇😂
he calls it garfunkling.
That explains everything!
I have an old school mechanic who owns an old run down shop. He’s exactly like this.
Redtady I go to an old guy too. There are cans of bolts and other things in that shop that haven’t moved in my life time. If you bring him beer and smokes your sure to get a deal too.
Is he a McKenzie?
Nein
The cake repair opening segment is priceless, the cinnamon toast bit pure genius, but the Paul Simon/John Candy exchange about the pretzels ..."I bought this bag of pretzels (beat)...new..."..had me laughing to tears. Thanks for posting this!
I'm sure that Paul Simon was so impressed with Roy that when he had some damaged food that was worth repairing, he went right back to have Roy work on it. Being an honest, straightforward guy builds your business. That's what customer service is all about. Nobody understood that better than Roy. What a guy.
John Candy is the genuine article!
What you see is what you get!
Alive and well to this day....He is easy to see just turn on the news playing the part of a loud month politician!
Chatty Cathy
John Candy may be one of the twenty greatest intuitive comics of all time. Watch him say the various assessments of the damaged food with all of the phrasing, mundanities, and physical tics of any repairman of any sort, and note how the subject of the statements counterpoints the normalcy of the delivery. My favorite two minutes of "HOME ALONE" is when he and Catherine O'Hara are on his band's bus, and they're just making it up, with total seriousness, resulting in total hilarity.
5
@@tbauer2521 "5" what?
@@tuxguys top 5 comedians
"you could've hurt yourself on this - you don't have the tools, you're not trained!"
Sadly there are many stories that ended in tragedy due to a novice attempting to rescue damaged food. If there's a lesson to be learned here, it is LEAVE FOOD REPAIR TO THE PROFESSIONALS
I really want to know how he's gonna fix those taco shells.
I lost by brother to watermelon accident. He tried to fix it but he is now gone
@@spunkyspaz I'm sorry for your loss. I lost a second cousin to a fatal delicata squash accident
Sure people watch one RUclips video on food repair and all of a sudden they are an expert. If you want to learn it right get in a good apprentice program.
The concept was cute and John Candy made it brilliant. He made Roy so authentic and believable. I would definitely bring him my food to repair. I know I'd get quality craftsmanship at a fair price. And by four o'clock.
What cracks me up this is that I've known little repair shops like this! They always "have a can of this color in the back"! If I had a guy like Roy repairing almost anything except Food in my neighborhood I'd be there all the time. I think that's part of what makes this sketch so awesome.
+Mac Potts Gee? Do you really think so??
Yes, that's why I posted it. What's your point?
+Mac Potts That's what makes it funny to everyone else, Captain Obvious!!!
Verisimilitude is a wonderful thing
I used to love all of those old shops. They gave places personality
John was a master at his craft. I had never seen this before, Had a good laugh...
Yep, I’m impressed by his work here. John delivers a realistic performance using the natural cliché phrases of a real repair guy.
Me too
Quality food repair is few and far between all these years later. We have to just buy new for the most part.
The pretzel bit, and the transition into it, may just be the best showcase of John Candy's acting prowess. Wow!
There’s never going to be another John Candy. I miss him terribly
I've accualy heard that before : "I think I have a can of that color in the back."
Years ago i worked in a dealership paint shop. We painted a few panel on an old van. The customer complained that the color didn't match the original. The painter (an old biker)said he was sorry but he didn't have 11 year old paint.
Weird how true to life this is for any sort of repair work.
They did get the ideas from real life.
@@rolandocrisostomo2003 you don't say...
Yes - thanks for pointing out the point of the sketch. *applause*
I'm dealing with some leather clothing tailoring costs right now that are ridiculous, I can tell you that!
@@jamesearl389 I repair clocks for a living....same
I wish I had known about this service earlier. I tossed out a half a cup of coffee yesterday because it went cold. If I had someone who could have fixed that for me my day would have been saved.
Dang, that lady probably didn't get her cake back by 4.
I thought about that too.
Exactly! I think she could get him on breach of contract. Always chasing bigger payoffs, no sense of obligation!
@@susanrhodes5681 it was an emergency accident on the highway
She got so angry she had to lead a rebellion against Darth Vader.
@@Bobbybabybobbybubbie Was that her?
The world lost a legend when he died
It's hard to find a good food repair shop, nowadays. I blame the lawyers..
Very true hell apples are a bastard
Everything is totalled
@@thomassmith5548 yeah, you're only allowed to bring your apples to certified apple food repair men. There the fixing costs as much as buying a new apple. Total rip off!
Well the dealerships are putting out the mom and pops because they can't afford the high tech tools to fix the new stuff
@Jim McCracken it's planned obsolescence.
I remember the great Stouffer's accident of '84. I was only 9 then, but I can still vividly recall the bright orange mac and cheese smeared across all three lanes of traffic, as the aroma of salisbury steaks roasted on the hot pavement.
The screams of culinarily-challenged housewives continue to haunt my dreams to this very day. Only John and his blessing of food repair talent could save us from such immeasurable grief. R.I.P. Mr. Candy.
He was there for 7 hours, distilling gravey from the gravel, welding dozens of racks of ribs back together. I don’t know how he did it but by god Roy was a trooper.
@@alexello1189 Indeed! A true savior of savory goods.
Irreplaceable! Never will there be a one of A kind talent like John! My father loved him and made me a fan!
RIP John! RIP Dad!
With ya on both brother!
@@Jizden_Mipanz , both as well.
Candy is a legend. God bless him and thanks for all the laughs.
John made any script funny. That was his job.
Daniel Tyler most of his roles done by anyone else.....prolly wouldn’t be funny
he's probably improvising all of his lines
Daniel Tyler you read my mind!
@@kevinsbott Best New Year! I like you. Would you come to Thailand any time soon?
He was one of, if not, the funniest people on the face of the earth. He was a treasure to work with behind the scenes, was respectful to his other cast members, and an all around good person.
Maureen O'Hara loved him, good enough for me
John Candy and 5 or 6 friends of his were served at a Toronto restaurant by my girlfriend back in the 80’s.
He left a tip as big as the bill for her. Literally just doubled the bill.
Very clever and gusty to perform a cake-graph by taking from the center of the cake. A novice would have used a portion of another cake, but Roy knew the match would never be exact! Way to go Roy!
Lol Paul Simon with the busted pretzels...Awesome...
And it dislodged all of the salt off the pretzels.
Excellent.
You Can Call Me Betty...
Because he's a jew
Mr John Candy you are still missed to this day and never forgotten. Thank you for all the wonderful memories and moments that will live on for future generations to enjoy 🍻
"Next time leave it to an expert! you don't have the tools you're not trained!" hilarious
Just the premise of this skit had me on floor, the rest was just gravy.
Gravy... No pun intended, eh? 😏
Sorry, we don't work on gravy anymore. Damn Heinz changed the formulation last year and wanted us to buy all new vacuum pumps and filters. No sirree.
Comedy brilliance like this makes me miss John Candy allover again.
Damn I miss John Candy so much. There'll never be another like him.
Just watched Planes, Trains and Automobiles with my two oldest kids on Thanksgiving morning yesterday. What a treasure John Candy was! Thanks for sharing this.
No one could do a bit like John Candy! What a friggin genius he was. RIP brother...
Great sketch with multiple layers to it. Candy was one of a kind.
To the cake???
Really wish this guy was still around. He was a big part of my childhood. I loved all of his stuff.
Roy's Food Repair is the best in the business. For 10 years now I've taken my kid's trick-or-treat candy down his shop, and so far, not a single razor blade or needle has been found in their candy.
this is complete gold, watching john candy operate as the old school small business owner is actually a lesson on how it used to be! reminds me of my grandparents, absolutely hilarious "Don't yell at me!, I am not, I'm yelling at Roy Gatsy.. DONT YELL AT ALL!"
I'd forgotten all about this. Thanks very much for posting it. I love the "repairman" type dialogue, it's pitch-perfect.
I’ve never seen this sketch; hilarious! John Candy was perfect in that role, he was such a silly guy. We need more like him.
This is definitely one of funniest skits by John Candy! He was just the tastiest carrot in the chicken soup; the sugar on top of my cookie; the candy sprinkles on the birthday cake. What a clever, funny guy and so missed.
I remember this sketch when it first aired. I thought it was hilarious, especially when he finds the masking tape and asks the girls if they tried to fix the tacos themselves. Anyone who has ever unsuccessfully tried to fix something and then had to take it in to a repair shop can relate.
I can relate. I work in music equipment repair. We go through this stuff daily
I doubt any mom and pop instrument repair shop would ever have that much business, lol. Especially stringed instruments.
"I bought this bag of pretzels, new." Best line of the bit.
John's laugh was comedy in itself.
after i die, i hope i meet john candy.....
liverneck jones me to 😉
Same here
I miss John. Genuine and brilliant.
I met him when I was a kid. Nicest man ever.
I want to have a turkey dinner with him in Heaven.
I guess Roy can *"fix dinner"* for us, eh?
Nice
Unprofessional.
Even in 2020, this is still pure genius...
The dipping the toast in liquid nitrogen then sandblasting it is actually a pretty damn good idea! Good job, John Candy. Also, we miss you every day.
Only a millimeter!
The technology has obviously advanced a lot since the 80s. A modern Food Repair Technician (FRT) would use a CNC bread lathe for this purpose. I hear some of the newer shops are using laser ablation, but we've got a few years to go until that's mature. 🙂
I made a joke about food repair earlier in the day this skit aired. Blew my mind
Out of all the comedians who have passed on, I miss John Candy the most. He was an absolute genius, his delivery, the skits he played on SCTV and in his movies are legendary. Gone way too soon. I went to high school with a cousin of his. I didn't believe her when she said she was related until she wore a Candy Productions hockey jersey to school and had a picture with John hugging her. I was in awe because I was such a fan.
What makes it is the little repairman asides like "Boy he really gouged it, didn't he?" Perfect.
Totally cool skit . Even conceiving of the idea of a food repair… 👍 ., J Candy performed the role flawlessly., thanks always John … from Johnnie La Rue … ‘Street Beef’ to Polynesian Town … Crane Shot .. et. al… enjoyed all .. and thanks piano Dr . John 🎹🎹🎹
This day and age is too much waste no food repair anymore. Hell I remember these shops in my neighborhood. I remember home ec, live skills and shop classes in high school back in my day. It taught me how to fix a ham sandwich. But times have changed. Hell apple has to have a special shop can't find parts for a granny smith it is a classic they can't make them like that any mode. Friggin special tools too.
I miss the old days.
*Sips monster ultra*
Yep
Hilarious, I'm still laughing so hard my side is in pain. Damn that was funny, so funny I had to call my Dad and read it to him! Thomas, you have comedy runnin' through your bones. I'm sure your comedy lights up a lot of people's days! Thank you for the laughs, have a great day Sir!
😂😂😂😂
I pray You did not forget how the 5 second rule applies to much of this repair dilemma? Where would we be without the gravity of that calculation in the food repair business?
Yeah we're fuckin nuts aren't we. *Assumes errbody is the same as me and I'm talking to my quantum fractal shadow.*
Excellent! Especially the finish!
Makes me realize how much I miss John Candy’s humor.
DrumNut927 Me too
I was watching “The Repair Shop” on Netflix and it totally reminded me of this skit, so I watched this instead. Thank you John Candy.
The VHS time stamp brought back a lot of memories :)
René Larsen, Looking back at those years is powerful for me, Things were better than today, Americans were happier people than today for sure...
Started out fixing Candy, eventually worked his way to the top.
John Candy always was one of my favorites. A funny man with heart of gold.
This started to get so believable!!! Beautiful work John Candy!
I want to binge out on films starring john candy now!
Oh, algorithm. Sometimes you're too good to us.
I just watched a video on the rise of Toyota on Scotty Kilmer's channel, and he mentions that In it's early days, Toyota Production quality was not as high as they wanted, but the dealer WOULD repair any defects in the car the customer found, free of charge, to maintain the reputation of the company. I giggled when "Roy" told the sushi customer "Send it back to the plant, they WILL take care of it there."
RIP John Candy you made me laugh
I love John Candy. What a pure legend.
Such a gentle soul and comedy genius, the world misses John Candy
For a moment I was brought back to the simple times of watching comedy on tv and I forgot I was watching this on a cell phone that controls our lives
This sounds like something my father would do to avoid wasting food...
Seriously! Mine too. He is 83
That and send it to a Third World!
After burning my meatloaf back in '83, I took it into Roy's to see what he could do. He used a band saw and rasp to cut around the burnt edges, and demi-glaced it with some all-purpose au boeuf he had in the back. It cost me $6.50 back then and he had it done by 3 o'clock!
Omg this skit is a treasure. Someone needs to do this now adays. Omg such a treasure
Wowsers, another treasure from the SCTV vaults! Nice to see additional "celebs" taking part and getting into the spirit of things. Thanks for background info as well as for the skit itself. :)
Note that this is not from SCTV, but from the short-lived sketch show "The New Show" from early 1984 on NBC. But it's a treasure, nonetheless!
I just love John Candy! Never gets old, never...
As much as I miss John Candy, I think I miss a 1.09 bag of pretzels even more.
I miss this guy so much. Planes, Trains and Automobiles was on this weekend. It's one of those movies that if it comes on, I watch it til the end no matter how many times I've seen it.
Neil: Where's your other hand.
Del: Between two pillows...
Yes the whole movie is awesome :)
Best food repairman ever was. Back in 89 He fixed a standing rib roast for me that had lain down.... He got it to stand again😁
Back before they blatantly stared at the cue cards the whole episode.
I miss the shit outta that guy he was awesome, John candy they don’t make em like that anymore.