Good video, Malibu! I, too, used to find it weird to be lumped together with sexuality minorities based on being trans, but when I learned that the reason we are a part of the LGBT acronym is that we have fundamentally intertwined histories, it just made a lot more sense, at least to me! But yeah, what I've decided is to use labels I see fit for myself but not to try and label others, since it's almost always quite difficult.
I see the point, we should be careful not to limit ourselves or others based on labels. But I treasure labels as a way of finding people with a similar experience.
I wanted to add that if any label is freeing rather than limiting, it's the label "queer". This tends to be forgotten recently, but when it was reclaimed in the 1980s/90s, it was specifically with a sense of thumbing your nose to the mainstream - I'm queer, I'm weird, I don't even try to conform to any of your conventional ideas of being a "man" or "woman", "straight" or "gay".
Labels are estimates and broad encapsulations into something digestible in a simple way. Its a tool, not a test. No label will ever capture who you are completely, but labels were never intended to do that.
We need labels. Without labels we can’t talk intelligently about anything … at all. Labels only have meaning if we accept the meaning as defined by other people. This is how language (i.e. the use of words,symbols and labels) works and how it can change for the better or for the worse. Therefore before we get offended we need to make sure that the label has the same meaning between speaker and listener.
I think it can be useful overall, but its like, just bc i identify as a demigirl for example doesnt mean i expect everyone to understand it. some of it is just personal to learn about yourself more imo.
i do understand your frustration with being labeled. it is sometimes used as a way to oppress marginalized groups. but, i think labels are the shortcuts we use to communicate and express ourselves. it would be exhausting to have to stop and explain each time. yes, there are going to be mistaken assumptions, but we use labels because they generally work to ease communication. on a side note, the use of queer is very important in a specific generation that grew up younger during the aids crisis. it was part of a political movement and social commentary against the rejection of our suffering by the broader society. it has very positive meanings to me. it sounds like it was only used to hurt you growing up. ❤ that hurts and i wish ppl weren’t so nasty to each other.
@@madeline_alice You’re right, it would be hard to live in a world without labels, I guess its the negative connotations on important labels that is triggering for me.
I don't relate to any label; I'm me and that's it.🤩 Happy Twenty Twenty Five Malibu May your music and whatever music '' label '' you get signed up to go from strength to strength😀
The thing is people are amazingly different, even when you get twins more often than not they will have different personalities. I agree stop trying to put people in categories and just accept we are all different although I imagine this will be easier said than done.
I personally use the label "queer" because none of the sexuality labels really fit me. I can be aroused by men and women, men occupy my fantasies way more, but when it comes down to it I don't think I could have sex with anyone nor am I romantically attracted to anyone. So it's like I'm a weird combination of bi, gay, ace, aro. I'm also autistic and I'm pretty sure my discomfort with touch and people's bodies stems from it. But how can I separate my autism traits and my sexuality if they are both innate? I think the existence of a generic label for all kinds of attraction outside the heterosexual norm is useful, and that's what queer is to me, though of course some might feel uncomfortable by the baggage.
I also wanted to comment on the label "chaser" specifically. You seem to have encountered what I would consider an overly broad or facile use of the word. To me, your classic chaser is a man who fetishizes trans women who haven't had bottom surgery, but is only looking for hookups on the DL, who won't introduce you to his friends or make you his primary or even long-term partner, and may even be married to or in a steady relationship with a cis woman whose place you can never take. Where exactly chaserdom ends if someone doesn't meet all of those criteria is a bit vague as always, but someone who is just open to trans women certainly doesn't deserve that label. The suspicion usually starts where someone explicitly prefers trans women over cis women.
I don't see why accept that wanting to date, in a serious way, exclusively trans women, can't also be just accepted as a sexual orientation. I think open communication and honesty is key. There are plenty of trans women who never want bottom surgery and then why not accept that there are men who want to date them seriously, just because for them that's the orientation. The trans women who want bottom surgery of course should conversely look for men who are open for that.
@@AnitaLichtenberg based on comments from my other videos I think a lot of people agree with you, but there's also a lot of people who would just describe all men who like trans women as chasers so its becoming more of a categorisation for all of them.
@@MalibuBarbiieDelish I wrote a thoughtful and polite reply to the comment here, trying to discuss a bigger picture that could be helpful for all. Quite disappointed that you deleted it. I would at least like to understand what was so bad about it, because I really tried to phrase it in a polite and helpful manner. Thanks!
@@amarug I didn't delete anything hun, I didn't see it and it isn't on my youtube studio either so I assume it didn't post correctly or youtube removed it but that seems unlikely.
@@MalibuBarbiieDelish My main comment on this video also disappeared! 😮 I will try posting again Edit: It immediately disappeared again. Must be some RUclips automatic process. This is very confusing because I'm my usual polite self and can't imagine what triggers have been hit I have now reposted it in little bits, hoping to see what stays and what goes away. Sorry if that feels like spamming
Labels can do your head in if you dwell on them too much. For me, I'm happy to use a little bit of many labels. I have tried to define to one. Nope😅💜🩷✌️
Good video, Malibu! I, too, used to find it weird to be lumped together with sexuality minorities based on being trans, but when I learned that the reason we are a part of the LGBT acronym is that we have fundamentally intertwined histories, it just made a lot more sense, at least to me! But yeah, what I've decided is to use labels I see fit for myself but not to try and label others, since it's almost always quite difficult.
@userh6b5z that is true I guess, it does make sense in some ways but also doesn't 😂
I see the point, we should be careful not to limit ourselves or others based on labels. But I treasure labels as a way of finding people with a similar experience.
Happy New Year Malibu!
@@StarlightMirror you too 🥳❤️
I wanted to add that if any label is freeing rather than limiting, it's the label "queer". This tends to be forgotten recently, but when it was reclaimed in the 1980s/90s, it was specifically with a sense of thumbing your nose to the mainstream - I'm queer, I'm weird, I don't even try to conform to any of your conventional ideas of being a "man" or "woman", "straight" or "gay".
Labels are estimates and broad encapsulations into something digestible in a simple way. Its a tool, not a test. No label will ever capture who you are completely, but labels were never intended to do that.
We need labels. Without labels we can’t talk intelligently about anything … at all. Labels only have meaning if we accept the meaning as defined by other people. This is how language (i.e. the use of words,symbols and labels) works and how it can change for the better or for the worse. Therefore before we get offended we need to make sure that the label has the same meaning between speaker and listener.
I think it can be useful overall, but its like, just bc i identify as a demigirl for example doesnt mean i expect everyone to understand it. some of it is just personal to learn about yourself more imo.
@@magicari8919 It opens up conversations I suppose, I just don't like the oversimplification and being categorised by others
i do understand your frustration with being labeled. it is sometimes used as a way to oppress marginalized groups. but, i think labels are the shortcuts we use to communicate and express ourselves. it would be exhausting to have to stop and explain each time. yes, there are going to be mistaken assumptions, but we use labels because they generally work to ease communication.
on a side note, the use of queer is very important in a specific generation that grew up younger during the aids crisis. it was part of a political movement and social commentary against the rejection of our suffering by the broader society. it has very positive meanings to me. it sounds like it was only used to hurt you growing up. ❤ that hurts and i wish ppl weren’t so nasty to each other.
@@madeline_alice You’re right, it would be hard to live in a world without labels, I guess its the negative connotations on important labels that is triggering for me.
I don't relate to any label; I'm me and that's it.🤩
Happy Twenty Twenty Five Malibu
May your music and whatever music '' label '' you get signed up to go from strength to strength😀
@@catherinehudson5499 exactly! And thank you 🖤
Best wishes for 2025
I always had issues with labels especially with the explicit or implicit injunctions behind them.
@@gwendolinegoetz9224 thank you 🖤
The thing is people are amazingly different, even when you get twins more often than not they will have different personalities. I agree stop trying to put people in categories and just accept we are all different although I imagine this will be easier said than done.
@@gtx60 100% 🩷
I personally use the label "queer" because none of the sexuality labels really fit me. I can be aroused by men and women, men occupy my fantasies way more, but when it comes down to it I don't think I could have sex with anyone nor am I romantically attracted to anyone. So it's like I'm a weird combination of bi, gay, ace, aro. I'm also autistic and I'm pretty sure my discomfort with touch and people's bodies stems from it. But how can I separate my autism traits and my sexuality if they are both innate? I think the existence of a generic label for all kinds of attraction outside the heterosexual norm is useful, and that's what queer is to me, though of course some might feel uncomfortable by the baggage.
@@kaixiaxia That’s actually totally fair and makes sense.
I also wanted to comment on the label "chaser" specifically. You seem to have encountered what I would consider an overly broad or facile use of the word. To me, your classic chaser is a man who fetishizes trans women who haven't had bottom surgery, but is only looking for hookups on the DL, who won't introduce you to his friends or make you his primary or even long-term partner, and may even be married to or in a steady relationship with a cis woman whose place you can never take. Where exactly chaserdom ends if someone doesn't meet all of those criteria is a bit vague as always, but someone who is just open to trans women certainly doesn't deserve that label. The suspicion usually starts where someone explicitly prefers trans women over cis women.
I don't see why accept that wanting to date, in a serious way, exclusively trans women, can't also be just accepted as a sexual orientation. I think open communication and honesty is key. There are plenty of trans women who never want bottom surgery and then why not accept that there are men who want to date them seriously, just because for them that's the orientation. The trans women who want bottom surgery of course should conversely look for men who are open for that.
@@AnitaLichtenberg based on comments from my other videos I think a lot of people agree with you, but there's also a lot of people who would just describe all men who like trans women as chasers so its becoming more of a categorisation for all of them.
@@MalibuBarbiieDelish I wrote a thoughtful and polite reply to the comment here, trying to discuss a bigger picture that could be helpful for all. Quite disappointed that you deleted it. I would at least like to understand what was so bad about it, because I really tried to phrase it in a polite and helpful manner. Thanks!
@@amarug I didn't delete anything hun, I didn't see it and it isn't on my youtube studio either so I assume it didn't post correctly or youtube removed it but that seems unlikely.
@@MalibuBarbiieDelish My main comment on this video also disappeared! 😮
I will try posting again
Edit: It immediately disappeared again. Must be some RUclips automatic process. This is very confusing because I'm my usual polite self and can't imagine what triggers have been hit
I have now reposted it in little bits, hoping to see what stays and what goes away. Sorry if that feels like spamming
Malibu, would it be alright if I labeled you as beautiful, intelligent, and extremely charming? 😊😊😊❤❤❤
@@QueenBee-dj4wv ill accept that haha 🩷
Hi Malibu hope everything you wish for comes true in 25 .Looking forward to hearing your new music 😊
@@stephenthomas6475 thank you darling 🖤
Labels can do your head in if you dwell on them too much. For me, I'm happy to use a little bit of many labels. I have tried to define to one. Nope😅💜🩷✌️