CreepyPasta (2023) Movie Review - Empty Calories
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- Опубликовано: 6 окт 2024
- CreepyPasta is everywhere, and there are countless stories to pull from to fill a feature length CreepyPasta movie. Why then, did they go with... these? I mean, sure there is also the central tale, but honestly it's no deeper than the other 10 stories crammed into this movie so the point stands... why?
What blows my mind is that they made a movie called "Creepypasta," ostensibly meant to be based on preexisting creepypastas, and yet they don't include a single well-known creepypasta, instead opting for the most generic urban legend set-ups imaginable. The only actual creepypasta they reference is Ben Drowned, but like Decker pointed out, it's not even a real reference since it's just the name superimposed over what looks like a Super Mario game. Honestly, I get the feeling this was meant to be a completely original story, but the filmmakers just slapped on the title "CreepyPasta" and the overly forced narration just to increase the likelihood of people actually watching it.
Well, the tall man stealing the little girl did look a bit like a slenderman reference.
Kudos to Decker for slogging thru the whole movie. I turned it off after the first story.
Might give it a watch sometime can't be any more crap than some of the other shit I have sat through
I like the implication that the shadow demon dog thing is chill living in a cupboard not eating a kid, but the demon grandma isn’t
There are no bad dogs, only bad humans who raise them wrong.
Jeff The Killer: what is this...
Slenderman:.......
Smile dog: woof....
some random kid in the middle of wyoming : mom there's a shadow man in my closet
mom goes to check
the door slams open
and we hear : AND HIS NAME IS JOOOOOOOOHN CEEEEEEEEEENAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
Heard the horns for the song and everything. Bravo! Good enough to be in this movie, maybe bordering on TOO GOOD.
I saw the cover for this movie and for some reason was like "I cannot wait for Decker to talk about this one".
The cover that ended up on Screambox and such wasn't what the art was supposed to be. They had an actual fully illustrated and painted poster commissioned for the release of the film but the distributor elected not to use it sadly. Not that it makes the movie any different - but it sucks that illustrated posters aren't given their dues as much anymore.
The Boogeyman always comes back. I think he has one of those WWE Legends contracts.
That adapting it for a modern audience joke really got me! Great review as always Decker
In a certain sense, creepypastas are like 'Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark' (the original books).
20:27 Al Gore got no rhythm.
The narrator sounds like they’re a text-to-speech program
An AI one, so it sounds just a little biz more human
"Brother finds himself in a house full of dead white people and he ain't sticking around."
Annnndddd...now I have to subscribe. Lol.
"Nonononono, she just adapted it for a modern audience."
If I could double like this video I would. That had me rolling.
It's kind of hilarious what he said about the second "algorithm selected" video link at the end. He said he didn't know what it was, and it was, for my viewing at least, a video literally titled "I have no idea". Also I'm surprised he didn't mention the fact that Mr. Creepypasta appears in the sixth story.
Average (not "good" - those are rare) Creepy Pastas are easy - you just have to learn to write like a third grader (at best) and to switch between present and past tense several times, without any obvious reason. Also use "suddenly" too often and if possible wrong as well (like, say, "then, over several months, my neighbour suddenly built a house"). Remember: "suddenly" is the Creepy Pasta's cheap jumpscare.
Heck, pick anything and simply repeat it as often as possible! AVOID using a thesaurus. If the story is about something that happened to your mother you'll call her "my mother". Period. None of that stupid "she" or "her" and shit. If the reader gets the feeling the story was written by an Indian callcenter scammer who speaks English as his fourth language then you're on the right way.
As for the story itself: It doesn't matter what you make the story. Simply write about something totally normal you did with a bunch of people and in the end write the next day you found out that one of them had died a year ago or some shit like that. Ooooooh, spooooky!
Bonus points: Of course a PROPER Creepy Pasta has to turn up in one of the podcasts that specialize in them. Which one will it be? The one run by that old geezer who has been reading horror podcasts for so long now that he can't help but sound utterly bored 100% of the time? You know, he's the guy who can read a list of torture practices with the tone someone would read a shopping list... Or is it the one with the guy who always gives a WAY too long introduction to each story that often tells too much and can even spoil the story? There is that one which plays atmospheric sounds while the stories are told. Not sound effects FOR the story, just generic spooky noises - wind, thunder, a "Mwahahahaha"-laugh and so forth on a pre-prepared recording that is not made to play the sounds at a fitting point. Not to be mixed up with the one that actually plays the sounds at the right time, but each time uses the same stock sound effects... Or the ASMR lady who reads horror stories as if they were erotica, you know - half whispered, seductive... Nonsensical...
I wasn't sure what to expect from this movie, but at least it wasn't adapting jeff the killer, sonic.exe, happy appy, or any of the other really popular bad creepypastas. It's not as bad as i was expecting it to be
If I remember correctly I think someone was working on a Jeff the killer movie but (i think) it was on kickstarter and thankfully it didn't get the money it needed.
But there is a Rake movie (which is meh) and Smile Dog analog horror series on RUclips (Which is surprisingly ok).
Would Channel Zero count?
@@ahardworker2154
Can you give me the name of the smile dog series?
@@cnarylmaz998 it's a channel called ChainmailChasers. Also sorry for the wait.
Well they did reference ben drowned so they could done that but choose to make some of their own. Which only one i like is the one with fish hooks like most simpliest way to survive that is to just walk the fuck away and not pay any mind to the tv and phone just leave it and hope it will go away if not try to get help
I'm not sure why, but the whole "chain letter, pass along or get cursed" thing from years ago popped into mind while watching this. Vapid urban legend I never believed.
Thanks for the review, Decker.
Honestly that's more of a creepypasta than most of the stories in here
These aren't stories, at best they were story ideas or pitches. I almost watched this movie, so I'm glad you took that bullet for me Decker.
No they were taken from RUclips channels that post horror shorts. Do not was from crypt tv and apparently one of them was from ABC of death
Or well more like they tried to copy the abc of death style but worse
Some time ago, I picked up an anthology horror movie (the name, unfortunately escapes me now). Much like this, the horror shorts were not very scary for the most part, and were too quick to have any real impact. There was one that stuck out, but not for the quality. It was because I had seen it before. Years ago, on RUclips. It ended up having me wonder if someone had just taken a bunch of horror shorts from RUclips, slapped them together, and called it a movie.
Was it ABCs of Death? Or V/H/S?
@@ablosch2452 Now that you mention it, I think it was ABCs. I was remember wondering how they were going to fit 26 stories in a 90 minute film.
The do not short was taken from crypt tv called well do not.
So yes you are completely right. These aren't original stories they made. They just ether rip these off from RUclips channels that share shorts and not pay them properly or pay for these because it is cheaper then making original content
Ben drowned as an 8bit lmao
A new Decker review?? Hell yeah, that’s the way to battle the Sunday depressing evening. Cheers
They Tried to be “VHS” and ended up with LaserDisc
I just found this channel yesterday and this guy is like all the best parts of the nostalgia critic, weird al, and internet commentary entertainment in general. Love his energy.
A dark and stormy night real Snoopy weather.
This guy needs 1 million subs!
Yeah it’s sad that Decker’s content isn’t taking off as it should. Best movie reviewer/break down on RUclips. Literally every video hits.
@@jamiethorpe5431Absolutely!
Yes, when I think of creepypastas and bringing in the heavyweights to ensure a decent box office, I TOTALLY don’t think of Jeff the Killer, Laughing Jack, Slenderman etc. jeez with how many characters were sleeping, and woke up, I was hoping to hear this ICONIC line, “GO TO SLEEP,” and closer we got to the end, I was hoping they were gonna save 1 of the big 3 like Jeff for the end, but NOPE. Disappointing, and a waste of time to watch the full movie.
Thank you so much Mr Shado!!! I wait for your reviews endlessly! Your incredible!
Whens the next review? Its been a month 🤯
Perfect opportunity for Creepy to make a cameo.
Odd that a movie called creepypasta had none of the iconic creepypasta monsters. No rake, Hobo-heart, Mr widemouth or even slenderman. Most recognisable was a rip on bloody mary
Yeah it's weird I understand sonic.exe and Ben drowned not being in it but ones like Jeff the killer and the rake not being used is fucking bizarre
@@jadenbryant9283 TBF Jeff the Killer sucks. Nothing about his background makes sense, and sounds like an edgy teen wrote it. Slenderman is not too bad, and am pretty sure the tall guy in the second story was based on him. Rake is an interesting concept, a cryptid based story. So better than an average human getting powers after an accident story.
@@tsubakiofmelancholy6297 yeah but with them being iconic creepypasta stories you would think they would be there
@@jadenbryant9283 True. But I feel the second story was loosely based on slender man. The tall man looked like a cheap knockoff.
@@tsubakiofmelancholy6297 which makes me wonder if there was some types of rights issues
This movie would scare me, if I was still like 5 years old. Like you have to have a very over active imagination to be afraid of this. The pacing is weird and all over the place.
Didn’t know what a horror pasta was, but I do now!
Very nice shirt…
After all these years, Decker Shado continues to upload
That John Cena joke is killing me xD
This is funny, I caught part of this movie last week and it was so boring I couldn't stay awake.
The creepypasta My girlfriend is an alien has a happy ending
I watched this a few weeks ago. I slept through half of it so when i woke up id have to rewind it. After a while i said screw it. So i had no idea what was going on for most of it. And ur video showed me i missed the first story completely 😂😂
I love me some horror anthologies but this one was 😠😡. I watched this awhile back an fell asleep within the first story. 😅 I love the 8 Mile reference at the 13:09 mark lol. I have watched some creepypastas from back in the day an they were good if this movie would have use some of those it would have been better in my opinion.AWESOME VID
This movie feels like a 90 minute trailer.
That charcuterie board was the scariest thing in this one Decker.😅
it is cold, windy and rainy ..perfect atmosphere to watch This.-
it looks like movie 34 of creepy Pastas ... great video decker ....OR IT WASNT ?!!
Thanks for reminding me of that god awful movie
I know you probably won't see this but i wanna say thank you! Im off today and binging your videos always cheers me up. Your hard work is sooooo appreciated!!!
I only got to the second story before I turned this shit off. I'm glad you're taking one for the team. Also they're trying so hard to be like V/H/S with the dude in between stories getting more and more messed up
The" do not" scene, I recognize that one. If I remember correctly, that was a video from Crypt TV, so... Was crypt TV the one who made this movie? If so, the number of stories in it actually makes sense since a majority of their videos are only 2-4 minutes long each.
So that's where I saw it. I knew I saw this exact short, with the same actor, but I did not remember where.
Decker, I've listened to you while painting miniatures for ages now. It's become a werid nostalgic happy place. I love it. Thanks man.
I specifically remember that fish hook story movie being on YT over 10 years ago. It was popular BECAUSE it was actually good. Might still be on YT with the original date. Which ultimately confirms for me, that this movie is just a collection of horror movie shorts over the years (whatever they can get their hands on for the least amount of effort) that may or may not have anything to do with actual creepypastas. Also explains why the stories are of varying quality. They probably were made at different points in time.
I really don't want to put in effort into researching this movie because its so bad, but I'm assuming the name is just a cash grab for term that has no business coming out in 2023. Also assuming this movie grabbed ANY cash in the first place...
I’ve never even heard of this movie! Always fun watching your reviews
"Santa mierda" hahahaha. Dude, your videos are awesome!!
Sincerely: some random Mexican subscriber.
Reminds me of Galaxy of Horrors
10:09 that says TaBLe-MaKeR
I've been watching for 7 years now
"Brother finds himself in a house full of dead white people, he ain't stickin' around!"
As a brother, I approve this message.
I re-watched this just last night with my friend.
I follow several horror news and never saw this one...
If only Flash Drives were known for their portability and ease of use in every computer on Earth.
I could be wrong, but is this film comprised of short films that you can see on Alter's RUclips channel?
The story of the old lady with the oxygen mask reminds me of a black-eyed child short I saw on Alter.
Given the word Creepypasta is in my gamer tag and I have never heard of this movie even once, not somebody talking about it, not a trailer, not even a memeable clip, I can already tell this is gonna be dogshit.
I feel that one story that starts with the guy smoking would have had that Denis Leary song "I'm An Asshole" playing if they could afford to license it
I’m pretty sure I saw some of these shorts on the RUclips channel Alter
Need to get back to watching this dude more good videos consistently
I remember when I was a kid the supernatural idea of shadow people scared the crap outta me. Not much does these days but that's a childhood spent listening to coast to coast at 2am and watching horror movies does to a man I guess.
Slenderman appears.
Hey Deck, I'm just hoping everything is ok with you. Stay strong and conquer all.
lol I "watched" this Friday. Randomly put it on because I couldn't think of anything to watch. Say watched because I think I fell asleep about half in way or maybe near the end. It was something...
The Gray Man gave me big Green Man, Charlie Kelly vibes lmfao
Decker mks my Sunday great again lmao
Creepypasta any relation to ramen noodles 🥣
Really expected this to dethrone Alien Origin
Also will you do the VHS series at some point?
creepy pasta is the American version of mac and cheese.
The fish hooked one worked and the shadow people becomes scary af when that s!#$happens to you.
With Vincent Vena Cava as one of the writers, pretty sure that confirms the Mr Creepypasta cameo i thought i saw. May have to check this out for the riffability if nothing else.
Yes that Is MrCreepyPasta in fact he cameos in this three times
When I'm in a creepypasta i too hope decker is narrating my demise "and the body count rises"
Borassca has a "happy ending"....when you add in the last part of it. Not originally. But thats something. I guess.
Alternative title for this video: Shado Sloughs thru Soggy, Spooky Spaghetti
Always enjoy your reviews! Very entertaining!
The best CreepyPasta I've ever read was Laughing Jack. Too bad it'd be messed up if Hollywood ever made it into a movie...Oh, well
Girl:" You ruined our game "
Decker:" No I just adapted it for a modern audience"
Me:🤣
The grey man from LSD Dream emulator?
I love that the no smoking and keep off the grass signs were clearly added in post. Couldn't even afford to print off some cardboard guys?
isn't the one with the troublemaker and the hooks an old horror short cause I am pretty sure I saw it a long time ago
Thanks Decker for saving my time on this one.....
Wow I caught this one early. Been watching you for years thanks for the videos Duder.
i really enjoy watching deckers content, seems like a good bloke, funny too
Eventhough you don't normally review tv shows, I would like to see a Monarch: Legacy of Monsters review, especially because you've reviewed the whole Monsterverse.
i love your videos. keep making them you are awesome.
Hey, c’mon now, Decker.. give the chick picking the guy’s body some credit; it wasn’t an 8 Mile extra, but Spud from Trainspotting. Also pretty sure that was MrCreepyPasta himself in that same segment with the suit and mask who helps take his cgi ectoplasmic piss-soul. Only plus to this movie is that if you pay attention to the background, there are a lot of Easter eggs, so even though they didn’t TELL actual creepypastas, it was more like Creepypasta: The Reference: The Movie. All that being said, this was still… not good. Thanks for braving the boredom for us. I don’t mean this as a sleight or any negative way whatsoever, but it’s a goddamn crime how underrated your channel/reviews are. Been watching you for years now and you’re one of the few reviewers that I will binge the content of. Old and new. So thank you for the time, effort and sanity you’ve put into it all. It hasn’t gone unappreciated.
I read the name "creepy" and "pasta" and instantly thought of haunted Italian food 😂
Love this channel
Decker is my spirit animal!
Love your videos!
Same
Decker needs more credit. Not just for the hair, but for the work. Man makes good criticism and entertains while he does it. RALLY FOR DECKER!
Decker lookin real jacked here baby
I think I saw the section with the rule breaker by itself on RUclips.
You should never forget the wisdom tould to you by Son-Gohan: First Rule is: there are no rules.
OH MY GOD When I saw the thumbnail I was shook, Anthony Salano was one of my teachers when I was in High School so I was shocked
I might just be weird because I actually super dug a lot of the horror imagery in this movie. Doesn't make the movie good at all, just means someone could probably make a pretty neat spooky gif collage out of it.
Your reviews are brilliant 👏 👌
Oh please, I've written better creepypastas than the ones shown in this movie!
I'm so happy that MrCreepyPasta is in this
Isn't that kinda like naming your found footage movie "Found Footage?"