Hey, thank you for your channel and all you put out. Some of it is really good. Although I am tempted to see the good in this video, clunkly phrasing and framing of this topic (and most likely my own biases) are making me thing this is a really bad message within a good place to start a conversation. The key part I want to get at is made explicit in the last 4 minutes of the video. Specifically, the concept of the "good" outcome of shadow work being neutrality to abusers and bad parents. You can say that neutrality may benefit some people, or that its one result, but trying to encourage that outcome as being good to forgive your abusers/parents is bad. You make the claim that they are just people with their own conditioning and environment and history, which is good things to acknowledge, but a mustache man from 1930 also had a bad horrible childhood, but we are not neutral to him. We are not neutral about the things he did, nor even him as a person. I know I am not fully completed with my shadow work with my therapist, but outwardly exposing this one way to feel about them is the "good/best" way to feel about them, while ignoring that I should be able to decide for myself how I treat them and how I feel about them (basically, putting the control back in my hands) is bad. In fact, while writing this reply, I'm highlighting something you said in the video - Not being in control of my own journey and me not making decisions about reparenting myself is putting the control out of my hands, which you are saying is bad. So how is it bad for me to want to go to my parents to ask them to change and not abuse my brothers and sisters, but not being able to choose how I feel about them is good? If it wasn't for the fact I'm already on this journey, and know how to take doctors/therapist advice not a gospel, this would DEFINITELY turn someone who was abused like me away from shadowwork. This comes from a place that truly feel your work and platform is good. This, simply, is just bad wording or a bad take.
Hey, thank you for your channel and all you put out. Some of it is really good. Although I am tempted to see the good in this video, clunkly phrasing and framing of this topic (and most likely my own biases) are making me thing this is a really bad message within a good place to start a conversation.
The key part I want to get at is made explicit in the last 4 minutes of the video. Specifically, the concept of the "good" outcome of shadow work being neutrality to abusers and bad parents. You can say that neutrality may benefit some people, or that its one result, but trying to encourage that outcome as being good to forgive your abusers/parents is bad. You make the claim that they are just people with their own conditioning and environment and history, which is good things to acknowledge, but a mustache man from 1930 also had a bad horrible childhood, but we are not neutral to him. We are not neutral about the things he did, nor even him as a person.
I know I am not fully completed with my shadow work with my therapist, but outwardly exposing this one way to feel about them is the "good/best" way to feel about them, while ignoring that I should be able to decide for myself how I treat them and how I feel about them (basically, putting the control back in my hands) is bad. In fact, while writing this reply, I'm highlighting something you said in the video - Not being in control of my own journey and me not making decisions about reparenting myself is putting the control out of my hands, which you are saying is bad. So how is it bad for me to want to go to my parents to ask them to change and not abuse my brothers and sisters, but not being able to choose how I feel about them is good?
If it wasn't for the fact I'm already on this journey, and know how to take doctors/therapist advice not a gospel, this would DEFINITELY turn someone who was abused like me away from shadowwork.
This comes from a place that truly feel your work and platform is good. This, simply, is just bad wording or a bad take.