After seven months of research on youtube, you're the BEST, Kenny - hands down! Taking accountability why we really "attract" narcissists has been the best advice ever! Thanks for changing my life & my future, as I continue to work on my behavior🙏🏾.
I agree and I have spent 3 years watching and learning about emotional abuse. Kenny you are one of the top three therapists I believe. Telling us about your own trauma is so helpful. Thank You so much .
I had a counselor once who said that her job was to teach me how to be my own best therapist. Through her help and the work I did with her on past and earlier childhood trauma’s I would say she did in fact give me the tools to do that, she helped me in understanding healthy boundaries.
Thanks for saying, “some people, because of their codependency that’s the best they can do right now”… true be that for me, just left a 23 year relationship with a man who we had a apartment rental business together and I rarely got a paycheck bcuz he says “we are in this together” but then forged my name on business documents and sold our real estate buildings and kept the money… millions… the new owners evicted me and now this winter I am living in my construction van while we wait for court proceedings, I gave and gave for 23 years until I ended up with colitis, cancer, Lupus, asthma arthritis and Hashimoto’s disease. Had 6 operations in 5 years and each time he treated me worse and worse so I kept trying harder to (be manipulative) be nice and work harder thinking I must not be doing enough so my 14 hour work day turned into a 16-18 hour work day. Thank goodness I found your content Kenny. It literally saved my life, This year due to your free videos I had the knowledge to see that I was the problem… I created the monster by being a giving tree. Living in SLC Utah. It’s cold to live in the van but I am happy and mentally free. Really free. I look forward to each night watching your videos while I slowly physically and mentally recover. It’s tough at 61 years old to be in this poor financial position with a broken body in the cold but this is all happening FOR me…NOT to me. Cheers to all of our highest vision of ourselves! Cheers to Kenny for providing free content until we can afford his course. That’s my newest goal.
I started going to Coda meetings and wow what a revelation to awake to my controlling behaviors. I have been more on the falsely empowered side and never had any idea. It's crazy how unaware I have been all my life. I really appreciate you explaining the 2 types. I am gaining awareness and working thru the 12 steps. This is a lifelong journey and I am here for it. Thank you so much! 💗
Years ago i was such a people pleaser, oh how i have changed since doing the inner work, i have lost so many people by saying no and walking away. When an ex friend said i had changed (she had not seen me in a long time) i could not figure it out, then i realised later on, she could not manipulate me anymore. It is now hard to find genuine friends who are not out for something, i am very wary of not over sharing too, this was a big fault of mine, i was also a perfectionist, not expecting it of anyone else, just myself. I don't beat myself up anymore if things don't go my way i just let it go. Kenny you are so down to earth and honest and i thank you so much for all your videos.
Yeah, the more you become aware of everything around you, the more people you know will distance them from you. Youre awareness of "everything" scares them.
This is 100 percent an authentic and truthful account of narcissistic abuse and how and why it affects relationships. I am invested in my own recovery and my life is full of joy and mental freedom because I took responsibility for myself. I have been able to forgive myself for my ignorance of my own part in the co-dependency I was in and relate to all the videos you are sharing Kenny. You are on the best mission and I congratulate you for what you are achieving and sharing. It is a great thing you are teaching and its coming from your true self and purpose. Thank you too for your book and play lists.
I see me in you on this one, our dads were the same too. Your self work shows enormous integrity and self awareness and reflection, absolute gold for people like myself to experience, namely False disempowered codependent, of which I think this paradigm has been smashed to pieces with divorcing a falsely empowered codep.
Kenny you are literally saving my life. I mean literally the actual literally not what people just say. I am a disempowered codependent but your videos are giving me hope and stopping the pull to the darkness. I find I resonate with your heart as I vowed as a child that noone would take my kind heart. But I am learning so much about owning the fact i have allowed it to happen and therefore I have a chance to change from this hell of an existence. Thank you from myself and my daughters for giving me hope. Xx
You are so welcome, and I applaud your courage to live in truth, take responsibility, do the healing work and forgive yourself. I hope you get a chance to tune into my live stream tonight at 5 PM mountain standard time on RUclips If you are available and interested, you can find the link on my RUclips channel
This was really hard to hear, but it was also good because it could help me and my partner start to work and understand why we react in the ways we do.❤ Thank you for sharing your knowledge
I really appreciate how humble and real and honest you are. I really find you insightful and kind, and your videos are making my life better everyday. Thank you!
Good for you for putting your plan in place to heal yourself. Since I’ve done this video I started a new promotion. For only $47 a month you can gain access to my complete emotional mastery method. Three of those nine master classes are dedicated to codependence recovery. If you’re interested, here is the link thegreatnessu.com/p/the-complete-emotional-mastery-method
No matter what I did for my mother and father no matter how good I proved to be they would never accept me n throughout my journey through life I travelled as an empath always overwhelmed n drain by everyone I meet.. Thanks to ur videos I identified with my unhealed trauma and now setting boundaries.. no more selflessness..
Another amazing video. This channel is such a great supplement to work I've been doing with my therapist with the added bonus of getting some insights which are helping me understand why others may behave the way they do. Thank you so much, Kenny, for these amazing healing resources that you're providing ❤️🙏🕊️
You are so welcome. I’m glad they’re helping you so much. You might also like my free master class? You can find the sign up for it in the description of all my videos. It’s a great resource as well and if you haven’t picked up a copy of my book you might want to do that also?😁
Thank you thank you thank you 🙏 For years I was so very interested in narcissistic personality disorder because I’ve been regularly a victim of them. Now thanks to your videos I finally get insight about ME as a codependant person, to understand why I am so often caught into drama with NPD and what’s my part in these situations. I’ve always been asking : Why me ? How can I stop being their favorite prey ? It’s good to learn how NPD work but we also have to learn about ourselves.
I have recently been listening to Kenny, and take great value from the content. It has helped me to see how far i have come in my healing from codependency. It has been a long term ongoing process of understanding patterns of behaviour and programming, working a spiritual programme daily, and getting really honest about the carnage of messy, confusing, damaging relationships. I was touched by his sharing of childhood patterns of illness or injury as manipulation to get attention in a neglectful/ alcoholic family dynamic. I have seen this in others, but sometimes it is hard to get across to someone that as a child they may have put themselves through pain and suffering deliberately in an attempt to get needs met. I am surprised there are not more views and subs for these videos, as i feel Kenny comes from a very self enlightened place here on his own healing journey. Maybe it is a little waffly at times like there is a bundle of loose threads, and they just need pulling in to a tighter line.
Hi Kerry, thank you for the compliments. But most of all, I’m really happy to hear that what I talk about is helping you gain clarity and confidence about your own process and journey.👏 And yes, I have wondered myself about the low viewership? Obviously I haven’t figured out how to communicate these topics in a way that people enjoy and that’s ok. I guess that makes me perfectly imperfect😁
😱 omg! As a child I sat in the mirror and twisted my own arm until it broke so my mom would act like she cared for me because any other time I was invisible or she was preoccupied with everything else ...and I have hurt myself in other ways to be cared for because I felt the only way to get it was to manipulate this way for several reasons really...sometimes it felt like the only way to truly feel cared for or have them be nice. My mom plus others were either mean , irritable most the time, or just inconsistent.. I am also afraid of expressing my needs due to shame from doing so in the past or just not knowing how too or even what the hell they are .. most the time I didn't even realize I was doing this .. I had such a desire to feel cared for that I didn't even realize I was being manipulative to get it. Wow. Putting things together and I'm not sure how I feel about this. It's eye opening I learned to be manipulative... I was gang raped at 14 and my friend left me and went and got my mom ... I remember the last remaining guys scattered when they heard my mama calling me. I remember right after being raped I started messing my hair up more than it already was in the abandoned house I was in and hitting myself in the face wearing she wouldn't believe me .. I ran out crying saying I was raped and she hit me so hard across the face ...I could hear the woman across the street blaming me for things and her not even knowing her son's one of the ones that raped me . I got home and my step dad heard me laughing with my friend upstairs and was convinced I had lied about the rape. I grew up starting to think maybe I wasn't raped. But I was. I tried to fight back and I got hit and threatened which made me not fight back anymore and just take what was happening to me .. I was scared if I didn't appear to have been raped that they wouldn't believe me so I hit myself and I still got hit. I can remember as a child struggling with grades brining home fs and showing my mama how bad I felt about it just so she wouldn't be mean to me ... I was punished most the time so I'd manipulate to not be screamed at too . I even would clean up the house just so she wouldn't come home irritable... I eventually rebelled and got to the point with her that I didn't care what she did and I stopped trying to manipulate her just not to be yelled at , shamed, judged ect and I rebelled looking to be cared for else where not caring what the consequences were with her anymore . Now I repeat the cycle in similar yet also different ways with others in my life. And now I'm becoming that same irritable version of my mama who is closed off .. grew up eventually getting tired of giving and giving to never get half as what I gave or fight for someone to love and care about me the way I needed that I got preoccupied in relationships thinkijg if someone would just love and care about me that way than my pain could go away... Had my 1st child and gave her everything my mama didn't give me .. and than she was murdered at 18 months old Only to turn around and make my second born feel the way I felt as a child...yet my first born got the better version of me. .. . . .. I hate it . so many things coming back to me
You are a good man Kenny,I keep saying this but...thank you,I tell people about you all the time,I see myself in every video,you have helped me see their is hope, again thank you
Kenny, I just love your videos! I am so bad about reading books, but I am ordering your book. I think you can help me feel sane again! I see all of these traits either in myself or my family members. Who is the Mike you are referring to? I have found Pia and am watching her too.
Thank you! I need the help. Finally figured out all my health problems and mind problems, now I just have to finally repair my damaged body and mind. Off to register.
Absolutely revelationery. Been searching/ researching for 2 years and finally drilled down to this! Mind blowing. Thank you and now the work starts..again.
Thanks again Kenny. I’m working through the whole process in the program. I recommend that to everyone if you are serious about living your best life. After this video, i can finally see my role in the relationships I have picked. Thanks again.
I was just like you was. I think that I didn't love myself. I had to take care about my 9 yrs younger sister, mother was narcissist and sister with time became narcissist too. Father served all and he was people pleaser and empath. I had two relationships with men, I was codependent empath with low boundaries. In secon relationship I got all worse things you can imagine. And after 3 yrs after he discarded me, went through all phases of narcissistic abuse, now I'm doing fine.
Kenny you are the best dressed therapist on YT. Where do you shop? I broke away and divorced a woman that was a narc. Your videos helped me to understand and move on and eventually meet the love of my life (not a narc, thank God). Thanks Kenny.
But some people specially women have nurturing quality. And there is nothing wrong with it. I love myself more if I make positive changes in peoples’ life. As Dr. Dyer said If we squeezed the orange we get orange juices. If you squeezed a person full of love what you get is love. And there is nothing wrong with it. But first you have to love self then be able to love others. Good posting and I love & appreciate your openness.
I learn a lot from your videos and they are thought provoking. It would be helpful if you could put some bullet points on the screen in videos like this where lists and comparisons are given.Than you.
I love the artwork on the wall behind you. In fact, i love the rooms I've seen in your videos si far. I also appreciate your insights and your humility to share your personal experiences. Awesome Channel 👌
As always, another insightful video. I can gladly say, my darker days are behind me. I still get wobbly from time to time but overall way better than freshly out of a VERY toxic marriage of nearly 20 years. I know my part in that but even better, that part of me is gone and no longer a threatening presence to reoccur. I appreciate these videos because they reinforce how long I have come. 🥰
Thank you Kenny that is so helpful. I've been researching on here but like someone has already said before me I find what you say resonates the best with me. Thank you again
@@kennyweiss It's very kind of you to reply. I'll take the opportunity to ask a question if you don't mind? Can you tell me if there is a definitive trait in a Narcissist not seen in a codependant? I am waiting for your book to be delivered, can't wait to start reading it. I'm so glad I came across you. You are the only one that deals with my part in the relationship which feels much more real. I knew that I contribute and turned a blind eye over the years. I felt uncomfortable listening to the demonising of the one side from other video. Thank you again you have been a big help already and I certainly need it.
The stuff my wife went thru at the hands of her adopted mother are truly horrific emotionally. I keep wanting to fix her. She doesn’t want to even try. She rages at my honest respectful opinions. She had never been wrong. Ever. Ever. More has her mom. Anyway. She won’t change. But I’m clearly under empowered and was very narcissistic at points of my life. Coming from a place of low self worth.
Kenny, i love your take on codependency but you said you were married to two narcissists. Do you still believe that? Because narcissists want to hurt and control people? Aren't they responsible then for their lies and how they hurt us? Codependants aren't doing things to hurt us, just to survive it seems - Is that true? Its so confusing when we realise they never cared about us at all, we are just objects for them to play off. Keep your videos coming Kenny because your insight on the progression on this subject helps us all try to understand what is a legitimate reaction to trauma and what is deceitful abuse upon innocent, caring though damaged people. Thank you so much Kenny.
My marriage at its worst was devastating to me. I felt so un acknowledged and never validated. It became so bad when my feelings were dismissed my brain would completely emotionally shut me down and I couldn’t get out of bed for long periods. It was like a real mood disorder type thing I could not control. I slowly crawled back. Learned some about my co dependent ways and lack of boundaries. Made my self esteem a priority bc my self esteem held me back my whole life. And now I see my young son learning it’s ok for me to be abused and put down on all levels and keep coming back to fix my narc wife.
I match most of these I think. But I just try to treat ppl how I want to be treated. Been trying to not ever be manipulative an I am bad with boundaries. I try an see the good an hope for them to change an be truthful in what they tell me when I comes to ppl I love an am close to... Mental health when it's wrapped into your personality is hard... I just wanna be happy an be the best version of me tbh. An I just want genuine ppl who love, are loyal... I was abandoned but I thought I'd grow. From that pain. Bc ik it wasn't my fault. My parent had there own life and chose what they did. I do act too nice but also bc I don't want anyone to feel like how I did... But also now I try to put my foot down an set boundaries especially since I am a parent now... The only bad thing outta my trauma was I just never wanna do what my did to me. So when I get with someone I feel bad to leave if it's just hard times. Even if I'm treated bad... As long as it's not like super bad... An I am hard on myself. But I'm getting there an I'm trying... I gave up on myself an I c t do that anymore regardless of the obstacles... Sorry this is long lol ty for sharing your story it's not always easy. An ty for your videos Also I think my ex is actually a falasly empowered co dependent. But he uses his bad past to manipulate to have ppl feel empathy an relate to him so he can get closer... But switches his personality when it no longer serves him or things get tough or something... Either way it's nice to try and understand some of the stuff and hear a lot of this stuff because regardless I don't ever want to be put in a situation or in a relationship like I was before. I have my flaws too but nobody deserves the disrespect that comes of certain relationships...
Heard you mentioned that you are glad you made the choice to work on your journey with Mike thank you for sharing Kenny Weiss 😁 so feeling dispowered so get it for me it was holding my breath in my younger years sure total Immaturity simply avoiding reality confrontation..came to understand it was manipulation &/or feeling like or as if the rug was being pulled from under me usually in a/or moment/s my feeling was insecurity & powerless😁
Hahaha I have a RUclips channel where I teach people how to make candles, and if I get too many comments or ones that i feel are just argumentative I will flip out 😂 and then realize, I'm doing it, I realize I posted that video 😂 and i don't have to respond lol so funny thank you for that. I enjoy your videos, I am learning a lot.
How does this develop in a sibling who is/was over-coddled? Spoiled? Rarely heard no, other siblings punished instead for her wrong behavior, and given no boundaries? I’m not kidding. We are the siblings who can’t figure out why she behaves like a BPD/Narc. With histrionic bits. And definitely YES to her mantle of martyr/victim righteousness.
So this video tells me that my boss may not be a narcissist and may instead be a falsely empowered codependent. Okay. It’s still not okay to be treated how they treat me - whether it’s narcissistic or codependent shame, right?
You can't "get them to" that is a codependent desire to control and not accept a person for where they are. They will only change if THEY want to. We have no control over it. Therefore the answer is to invest in healing our own codependence so we stop trying to control them and figure them out. That is the most loving thing we can do for ourselves and THEM.
I’m married to a disempowered codependent man. We’re currently separated. Do you think you make a marriage work with someone like that, if they’re not ready to deal with their stuff? I read books like “How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It” where they advise to reconnect instead of trying to talk about issues because it causes defensiveness. If the spouse feels warmly towards you, you’re more able to achieve positive outcomes. What’s your opinion?
Defensiveness goes both ways when one or the feels they are being emotionally attacked. When in reality both more than likely took what they were saying wrong. Most use text these days to converse which is terrible. Two must be able to sit face to face and talk. Believe me been thru this hell before with my separated wife think we get more confused scanning all these sites
Can I consider myself as this codependent, when my ex in our relationship, he only met me once in a month, or two months, video calls me or chats with me for updates...and I can feel that we're not emotionally connected ... I don't think I'm too needy, he just doesn't have time in our relationship.... That's why we split. I don't know if I can get into another relationship,.
All relationships have trauma in them and all relationships can be mended if both sides are willing to commit to a process of recovery and growth. Without that, then yes, it is doomed
I am so happy that your book is typed.I would like to buy it and I will.I hope to help me, I can not be the succesfull online type.Thank you for your book.
I have been played, manipulated, again. After listening to this, I realize my codependency in this marriage. My husband is a falsely/over empowered codependent. He’s over the top nice, buying little gifts all the time , telling me how wonderful I am blah blah blah. That’s what suckered me into the marriage the fist time. I am so mad at myself for falling for that same crap. There is nothing that is authentic about him. I know I’m complaining. Just the fact that I allow this, knowing well that he could care less about this marriage, but more about his need to be loved at any cost, which stems from his childhood that he so denies was imperfect, because God forbid if there is anything wrong with a minister. Another false identity he created for himself. Hiding behind shame and denial. I feel for him, I will to continue to work on myself regardless of what he does, but I don’t see this marriage lasting, I asked him to move out months ago, and I will not let him move back in. Ok I’m done.
Oof man did my narc have me wrapped around an axle with this stuff. I brought her into my home because i was naive and in love. I supported her completely while she pursued her thing. When i took issue with her avoidance and lack of interest she created a frame where i was giving to get. That was really unfair and manipulative. I had made an incorrect assumption: that we were in relationship. That was the extent of my "agenda". I threw her out. She went back to mama's spare bedroom from whence she came. Cashier at Home Depot. She is 61 and has a Masters. Shes "an astrologer" dontcha know😅 I have my things. I brought her in and wrestled with her for a year. Thats on me. But the cheap shot from her that i was manipulating her and trying to guilt her by keeping her warm and fed was...beyond crazymaking. One of the ugliest mischaracterizations Ive ever endured. Narcs watch this stuff too. Narcs are "psych aware" too.
What if I can't be healed? When a dog won't stop biting, we euthanize it because it's just too damaged to rehabilitate. Maybe I'm the same. I need to know when that's the conclusion I should realize.
After seven months of research on youtube, you're the BEST, Kenny - hands down! Taking accountability why we really "attract" narcissists has been the best advice ever! Thanks for changing my life & my future, as I continue to work on my behavior🙏🏾.
That is very kind of you. Keep up the growth and becoming your own expert in your healing!
I agree and I have spent 3 years watching and learning about emotional abuse. Kenny you are one of the top three therapists I believe. Telling us about your own trauma is so helpful. Thank You so much .
Kenny you truly are amazing honest spot on .literally you are my therapist for life.❤❤
I had a counselor once who said that her job was to teach me how to be my own best therapist.
Through her help and the work I did with her on past and earlier childhood trauma’s I would say she did in fact give me the tools to do that, she helped me in understanding healthy boundaries.
Thanks for saying, “some people, because of their codependency that’s the best they can do right now”… true be that for me, just left a 23 year relationship with a man who we had a apartment rental business together and I rarely got a paycheck bcuz he says “we are in this together” but then forged my name on business documents and sold our real estate buildings and kept the money… millions… the new owners evicted me and now this winter I am living in my construction van while we wait for court proceedings, I gave and gave for 23 years until I ended up with colitis, cancer, Lupus, asthma arthritis and Hashimoto’s disease. Had 6 operations in 5 years and each time he treated me worse and worse so I kept trying harder to (be manipulative) be nice and work harder thinking I must not be doing enough so my 14 hour work day turned into a 16-18 hour work day. Thank goodness I found your content Kenny. It literally saved my life, This year due to your free videos I had the knowledge to see that I was the problem… I created the monster by being a giving tree. Living in SLC Utah. It’s cold to live in the van but I am happy and mentally free. Really free. I look forward to each night watching your videos while I slowly physically and mentally recover. It’s tough at 61 years old to be in this poor financial position with a broken body in the cold but this is all happening FOR me…NOT to me. Cheers to all of our highest vision of ourselves! Cheers to Kenny for providing free content until we can afford his course. That’s my newest goal.
Yours is an amazing story. Wishing you the very best.
I started going to Coda meetings and wow what a revelation to awake to my controlling behaviors. I have been more on the falsely empowered side and never had any idea. It's crazy how unaware I have been all my life. I really appreciate you explaining the 2 types. I am gaining awareness and working thru the 12 steps. This is a lifelong journey and I am here for it. Thank you so much! 💗
Im about to go to my first meeting but im scared haha glad to hear its helpful
Prompts to you for taking those steps! It'll be my third time going, how has it been since then?
Years ago i was such a people pleaser, oh how i have changed since doing the inner work, i have lost so many people by saying no and walking away. When an ex friend said i had changed (she had not seen me in a long time) i could not figure it out, then i realised later on, she could not manipulate me anymore. It is now hard to find genuine friends who are not out for something, i am very wary of not over sharing too, this was a big fault of mine, i was also a perfectionist, not expecting it of anyone else, just myself. I don't beat myself up anymore if things don't go my way i just let it go. Kenny you are so down to earth and honest and i thank you so much for all your videos.
Yeah, the more you become aware of everything around you, the more people you know will distance them from you. Youre awareness of "everything" scares them.
This is 100 percent an authentic and truthful account of narcissistic abuse and how and why it affects relationships. I am invested in my own recovery and my life is full of joy and mental freedom because I took responsibility for myself. I have been able to forgive myself for my ignorance of my own part in the co-dependency I was in and relate to all the videos you are sharing Kenny. You are on the best mission and I congratulate you for what you are achieving and sharing. It is a great thing you are teaching and its coming from your true self and purpose. Thank you too for your book and play lists.
I see me in you on this one, our dads were the same too. Your self work shows enormous integrity and self awareness and reflection, absolute gold for people like myself to experience, namely False disempowered codependent, of which I think this paradigm has been smashed to pieces with divorcing a falsely empowered codep.
All the codependents researching the codependents in their lives without knowing they are also codependents.
So thankful I found you! You’re very inspiring 😊
Thankful for your channel. I’m out of a narcissistic relationship and into a manipulative one. Finally trying to figure out my own shortcomings.
You are so welcome
Truly wise, the best there is. Thank you
Kenny you are literally saving my life. I mean literally the actual literally not what people just say. I am a disempowered codependent but your videos are giving me hope and stopping the pull to the darkness. I find I resonate with your heart as I vowed as a child that noone would take my kind heart. But I am learning so much about owning the fact i have allowed it to happen and therefore I have a chance to change from this hell of an existence. Thank you from myself and my daughters for giving me hope. Xx
You are so welcome, and I applaud your courage to live in truth, take responsibility, do the healing work and forgive yourself.
I hope you get a chance to tune into my live stream tonight at 5 PM mountain standard time on RUclips
If you are available and interested, you can find the link on my RUclips channel
Awwwww your honesty about yourself is heart warming 😊
Your honesty is so helpful and encouraging and at times cracks me up. I want to be an adult when I grow the heck up and happily working hard at it😊
This was really hard to hear, but it was also good because it could help me and my partner start to work and understand why we react in the ways we do.❤ Thank you for sharing your knowledge
You are so courageous and vulnerable. Thank you for letting us see you as you are - and as you are growing. You are an authentic positive role model.
Kenny; My life is better because you are in the world.
You are a blessing.
Thank you and know that I encourage you to do what it is you do.
👍
I really appreciate how humble and real and honest you are. I really find you insightful and kind, and your videos are making my life better everyday. Thank you!
Thank you so much for the kind words and more importantly I’m glad your life is getting so much better 😁
Omg...this is so true for me i felt nauseated as I listened. I'm coming to you master class.
Good for you for putting your plan in place to heal yourself. Since I’ve done this video I started a new promotion. For only $47 a month you can gain access to my complete emotional mastery method. Three of those nine master classes are dedicated to codependence recovery. If you’re interested, here is the link
thegreatnessu.com/p/the-complete-emotional-mastery-method
Same. I literally felt ( very) sick to my stomach. But it is a good wakeup for me, Thank You.
The information is very spot on, but what helps me the most is you showing your imperfections. Somehow seeing that helps me except and show mine.
No matter what I did for my mother and father no matter how good I proved to be they would never accept me n throughout my journey through life I travelled as an empath always overwhelmed n drain by everyone I meet.. Thanks to ur videos I identified with my unhealed trauma and now setting boundaries.. no more selflessness..
Congratulations and good for you Nadine. I’m very happy for you
Another amazing video. This channel is such a great supplement to work I've been doing with my therapist with the added bonus of getting some insights which are helping me understand why others may behave the way they do. Thank you so much, Kenny, for these amazing healing resources that you're providing ❤️🙏🕊️
You are so welcome. I’m glad they’re helping you so much. You might also like my free master class? You can find the sign up for it in the description of all my videos. It’s a great resource as well and if you haven’t picked up a copy of my book you might want to do that also?😁
Thank you thank you thank you 🙏 For years I was so very interested in narcissistic personality disorder because I’ve been regularly a victim of them. Now thanks to your videos I finally get insight about ME as a codependant person, to understand why I am so often caught into drama with NPD and what’s my part in these situations. I’ve always been asking : Why me ? How can I stop being their favorite prey ? It’s good to learn how NPD work but we also have to learn about ourselves.
Sam Vaknin talks about 5 codependent personalities. Thanks for your work
I have recently been listening to Kenny, and take great value from the content. It has helped me to see how far i have come in my healing from codependency. It has been a long term ongoing process of understanding patterns of behaviour and programming, working a spiritual programme daily, and getting really honest about the carnage of messy, confusing, damaging relationships.
I was touched by his sharing of childhood patterns of illness or injury as manipulation to get attention in a neglectful/ alcoholic family dynamic. I have seen this in others, but sometimes it is hard to get across to someone that as a child they may have put themselves through pain and suffering deliberately in an attempt to get needs met.
I am surprised there are not more views and subs for these videos, as i feel Kenny comes from a very self enlightened place here on his own healing journey. Maybe it is a little waffly at times like there is a bundle of loose threads, and they just need pulling in to a tighter line.
Hi Kerry, thank you for the compliments. But most of all, I’m really happy to hear that what I talk about is helping you gain clarity and confidence about your own process and journey.👏
And yes, I have wondered myself about the low viewership?
Obviously I haven’t figured out how to communicate these topics in a way that people enjoy and that’s ok.
I guess that makes me perfectly imperfect😁
😱 omg! As a child I sat in the mirror and twisted my own arm until it broke so my mom would act like she cared for me because any other time I was invisible or she was preoccupied with everything else ...and I have hurt myself in other ways to be cared for because I felt the only way to get it was to manipulate this way for several reasons really...sometimes it felt like the only way to truly feel cared for or have them be nice. My mom plus others were either mean , irritable most the time, or just inconsistent.. I am also afraid of expressing my needs due to shame from doing so in the past or just not knowing how too or even what the hell they are .. most the time I didn't even realize I was doing this .. I had such a desire to feel cared for that I didn't even realize I was being manipulative to get it. Wow. Putting things together and I'm not sure how I feel about this. It's eye opening
I learned to be manipulative... I was gang raped at 14 and my friend left me and went and got my mom ... I remember the last remaining guys scattered when they heard my mama calling me. I remember right after being raped I started messing my hair up more than it already was in the abandoned house I was in and hitting myself in the face wearing she wouldn't believe me .. I ran out crying saying I was raped and she hit me so hard across the face ...I could hear the woman across the street blaming me for things and her not even knowing her son's one of the ones that raped me . I got home and my step dad heard me laughing with my friend upstairs and was convinced I had lied about the rape. I grew up starting to think maybe I wasn't raped. But I was. I tried to fight back and I got hit and threatened which made me not fight back anymore and just take what was happening to me .. I was scared if I didn't appear to have been raped that they wouldn't believe me so I hit myself and I still got hit. I can remember as a child struggling with grades brining home fs and showing my mama how bad I felt about it just so she wouldn't be mean to me ... I was punished most the time so I'd manipulate to not be screamed at too . I even would clean up the house just so she wouldn't come home irritable... I eventually rebelled and got to the point with her that I didn't care what she did and I stopped trying to manipulate her just not to be yelled at , shamed, judged ect and I rebelled looking to be cared for else where not caring what the consequences were with her anymore . Now I repeat the cycle in similar yet also different ways with others in my life. And now I'm becoming that same irritable version of my mama who is closed off .. grew up eventually getting tired of giving and giving to never get half as what I gave or fight for someone to love and care about me the way I needed that I got preoccupied in relationships thinkijg if someone would just love and care about me that way than my pain could go away... Had my 1st child and gave her everything my mama didn't give me .. and than she was murdered at 18 months old Only to turn around and make my second born feel the way I felt as a child...yet my first born got the better version of me. .. . . .. I hate it . so many things coming back to me
I don't even know what to do with this information
You are helping me so much!
Thank you 🙏🏻
Happy to help!
You are a good man Kenny,I keep saying this but...thank you,I tell people about you all the time,I see myself in every video,you have helped me see their is hope, again thank you
Amazing info Kenny! Just where I am stuck! Thank you so much ❤️🙏🥰
Thank you for fresh information it really helps, and you have a genuine beautiful smile btw.
I just started reading your book, Kenny. It's amazing so far!!
I know this is a serious topic, but you sir said "the disempowered takes the bottom position" it just cracked me up.
Kenny, I just love your videos! I am so bad about reading books, but I am ordering your book. I think you can help me feel sane again! I see all of these traits either in myself or my family members. Who is the Mike you are referring to? I have found Pia and am watching her too.
Your just such a likable Psych.
I LOVE your honesty, it is SOOO refreshing! Thank you
Thank you! I need the help. Finally figured out all my health problems and mind problems, now I just have to finally repair my damaged body and mind. Off to register.
Good for you👏
I had a friend that did that. She was chronically ill but never did anything to get better: stop smoking, lose weight, etc
Absolutely revelationery. Been searching/ researching for 2 years and finally drilled down to this! Mind blowing. Thank you and now the work starts..again.
Excellent video. I"m listening this like third time (dissempower coodependant)
Glad it was helpful!
@@kennyweiss It is. Need to check for your book but first i need to find a job :D Greetings and dont stop, your message is very important.
Your honesty is so appreciated and healing. Thank you
Amazing video, amazing man, amazing information. How could you not love this man?
Love you, Kenny. You have been teaching me a lot. Thank you for your time making those videos and your generosity sharing them with everybody.
You are so welcome
Thanks again Kenny. I’m working through the whole process in the program. I recommend that to everyone if you are serious about living your best life. After this video, i can finally see my role in the relationships I have picked. Thanks again.
Thank you Kenny for sharing your insights so freely with your fellow humans in pain....so grateful....
Colour coordination? Impeccable.
Eye-opening! And I’m no stranger to therapy. I had 9 years of psychoanalysis. But you have been so helpful. Thank you!
You're welcome
I was just like you was. I think that I didn't love myself. I had to take care about my 9 yrs younger sister, mother was narcissist and sister with time became narcissist too. Father served all and he was people pleaser and empath. I had two relationships with men, I was codependent empath with low boundaries. In secon relationship I got all worse things you can imagine. And after 3 yrs after he discarded me, went through all phases of narcissistic abuse, now I'm doing fine.
Kenny you are the best dressed therapist on YT. Where do you shop? I broke away and divorced a woman that was a narc. Your videos helped me to understand and move on and eventually meet the love of my life (not a narc, thank God). Thanks Kenny.
Awesome info and you sure nailed me too.. love your delivery too..😍
Where can I find the full list of your videos on you tube? I have subscribed.
But some people specially women have nurturing quality. And there is nothing wrong with it. I love myself more if I make positive changes in peoples’ life. As Dr. Dyer said If we squeezed the orange we get orange juices. If you squeezed a person full of love what you get is love. And there is nothing wrong with it. But first you have to love self then be able to love others. Good posting and I love & appreciate your openness.
I learn a lot from your videos and they are thought provoking.
It would be helpful if you could put some bullet points on the screen in videos like this where lists and comparisons are given.Than you.
I love the artwork on the wall behind you. In fact, i love the rooms I've seen in your videos si far. I also appreciate your insights and your humility to share your personal experiences.
Awesome Channel 👌
My heart breaks listening to this. Helpful for me but I have so much love for you.
Thanks for listening
you are one to be admired
Thank you for the video, very informative. So many questions!
Glad it was helpful!
As always, another insightful video. I can gladly say, my darker days are behind me. I still get wobbly from time to time but overall way better than freshly out of a VERY toxic marriage of nearly 20 years. I know my part in that but even better, that part of me is gone and no longer a threatening presence to reoccur.
I appreciate these videos because they reinforce how long I have come.
🥰
Thanks for sharing!
Thank you Kenny that is so helpful. I've been researching on here but like someone has already said before me I find what you say resonates the best with me. Thank you again
Glad it was helpful!
@@kennyweiss It's very kind of you to reply. I'll take the opportunity to ask a question if you don't mind? Can you tell me if there is a definitive trait in a Narcissist not seen in a codependant? I am waiting for your book to be delivered, can't wait to start reading it. I'm so glad I came across you. You are the only one that deals with my part in the relationship which feels much more real. I knew that I contribute and turned a blind eye over the years. I felt uncomfortable listening to the demonising of the one side from other video. Thank you again you have been a big help already and I certainly need it.
Thanks! ✨️
I really liked this, thank you. 🙏🏼
Glad you enjoyed it!
The stuff my wife went thru at the hands of her adopted mother are truly horrific emotionally. I keep wanting to fix her. She doesn’t want to even try. She rages at my honest respectful opinions. She had never been wrong. Ever. Ever. More has her mom. Anyway. She won’t change. But I’m clearly under empowered and was very narcissistic at points of my life. Coming from a place of low self worth.
Kenny, i love your take on codependency but you said you were married to two narcissists. Do you still believe that? Because narcissists want to hurt and control people? Aren't they responsible then for their lies and how they hurt us? Codependants aren't doing things to hurt us, just to survive it seems - Is that true? Its so confusing when we realise they never cared about us at all, we are just objects for them to play off. Keep your videos coming Kenny because your insight on the progression on this subject helps us all try to understand what is a legitimate reaction to trauma and what is deceitful abuse upon innocent, caring though damaged people. Thank you so much Kenny.
My marriage at its worst was devastating to me. I felt so un acknowledged and never validated. It became so bad when my feelings were dismissed my brain would completely emotionally shut me down and I couldn’t get out of bed for long periods. It was like a real mood disorder type thing I could not control. I slowly crawled back. Learned some about my co dependent ways and lack of boundaries. Made my self esteem a priority bc my self esteem held me back my whole life. And now I see my young son learning it’s ok for me to be abused and put down on all levels and keep coming back to fix my narc wife.
"Falsely Empowered Codependent" is not a Narcissist !!! - so there is hope ...
Is it possible to be both? I find alittle bit of myself in each one
Yes
I match most of these I think. But I just try to treat ppl how I want to be treated. Been trying to not ever be manipulative an I am bad with boundaries. I try an see the good an hope for them to change an be truthful in what they tell me when I comes to ppl I love an am close to... Mental health when it's wrapped into your personality is hard... I just wanna be happy an be the best version of me tbh. An I just want genuine ppl who love, are loyal... I was abandoned but I thought I'd grow. From that pain. Bc ik it wasn't my fault. My parent had there own life and chose what they did. I do act too nice but also bc I don't want anyone to feel like how I did... But also now I try to put my foot down an set boundaries especially since I am a parent now... The only bad thing outta my trauma was I just never wanna do what my did to me. So when I get with someone I feel bad to leave if it's just hard times. Even if I'm treated bad... As long as it's not like super bad... An I am hard on myself. But I'm getting there an I'm trying... I gave up on myself an I c t do that anymore regardless of the obstacles...
Sorry this is long lol ty for sharing your story it's not always easy. An ty for your videos
Also I think my ex is actually a falasly empowered co dependent. But he uses his bad past to manipulate to have ppl feel empathy an relate to him so he can get closer... But switches his personality when it no longer serves him or things get tough or something... Either way it's nice to try and understand some of the stuff and hear a lot of this stuff because regardless I don't ever want to be put in a situation or in a relationship like I was before. I have my flaws too but nobody deserves the disrespect that comes of certain relationships...
Heard you mentioned that you are glad you made the choice to work on your journey with Mike thank you for sharing Kenny Weiss 😁 so feeling dispowered so get it for me it was holding my breath in my younger years sure total Immaturity simply avoiding reality confrontation..came to understand it was manipulation &/or feeling like or as if the rug was being pulled from under me usually in a/or moment/s my feeling was insecurity & powerless😁
Yes! Thank you!
I watch you a lot. Thank you 🙏👍
Love the colors.
Hahaha I have a RUclips channel where I teach people how to make candles, and if I get too many comments or ones that i feel are just argumentative I will flip out 😂 and then realize, I'm doing it, I realize I posted that video 😂 and i don't have to respond lol so funny thank you for that. I enjoy your videos, I am learning a lot.
Does the drive for revenge separate the falsely empowered codependent from the narcissist?
In my opinion, no. They both can be vengeful.
Who can we look for regarding the two types? Is it "Pia Melody?" Thanks so much for your great insight.
Yes she is. I have several videos and articles on my magazine site as well.
www.thegreatnessuniversity.com/
How does this develop in a sibling who is/was over-coddled? Spoiled? Rarely heard no, other siblings punished instead for her wrong behavior, and given no boundaries? I’m not kidding. We are the siblings who can’t figure out why she behaves like a BPD/Narc. With histrionic bits. And definitely YES to her mantle of martyr/victim righteousness.
So this video tells me that my boss may not be a narcissist and may instead be a falsely empowered codependent. Okay. It’s still not okay to be treated how they treat me - whether it’s narcissistic or codependent shame, right?
How do you get the falsely empowered codependent to be vulnerable, open and honest?
You can't "get them to" that is a codependent desire to control and not accept a person for where they are. They will only change if THEY want to. We have no control over it. Therefore the answer is to invest in healing our own codependence so we stop trying to control them and figure them out. That is the most loving thing we can do for ourselves and THEM.
Thank you.
You’re welcome ☺️
I’m married to a disempowered codependent man. We’re currently separated. Do you think you make a marriage work with someone like that, if they’re not ready to deal with their stuff? I read books like “How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It” where they advise to reconnect instead of trying to talk about issues because it causes defensiveness. If the spouse feels warmly towards you, you’re more able to achieve positive outcomes. What’s your opinion?
Defensiveness goes both ways when one or the feels they are being emotionally attacked. When in reality both more than likely took what they were saying wrong. Most use text these days to converse which is terrible. Two must be able to sit face to face and talk. Believe me been thru this hell before with my separated wife think we get more confused scanning all these sites
Great video Kenn :D Short question-- arent the empowered co-dependent what we call a counter-dependent?
If that definition works for you I support you picking descriptions that are best for you.
Or the co- deependent Nice Guy it's so modern 😃👍
Love your videos
Can I consider myself as this codependent, when my ex in our relationship, he only met me once in a month, or two months, video calls me or chats with me for updates...and I can feel that we're not emotionally connected ... I don't think I'm too needy, he just doesn't have time in our relationship.... That's why we split. I don't know if I can get into another relationship,.
Hi Kenny! Do you think disempowered and falsely empowered can coexist happily in a romantic relationship?
Thank you so much for the videos!
Excellent 🎉
Bro, it took you eight minutes before you jump into content. Got to get get there quicker ( said from love)
Is it possible that toxic relationships are made that way from two traumatized people? Can they heal together? Or is this a fruitless endeavor
All relationships have trauma in them and all relationships can be mended if both sides are willing to commit to a process of recovery and growth. Without that, then yes, it is doomed
Hell, i learned painful lessons today. I guess I am a falsey empowered who got serious depression when my wife left me.
Dear Kenny, I didn t know how to be a woman.....Thank you🤗.
I am so happy that your book is typed.I would like to buy it and I will.I hope to help me, I can not be the succesfull online type.Thank you for your book.
Happy to help
Can a person be mix of both?
thank you im so mess-up
Omgosh. My narcissist Morher wanted her hair combed until she fell asleep.
So creepy and her scalp was stinky.
Good 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️❤️❤️
Thank you. I hope it helped you😁
Powerful
So...when I got cancer I was manipulating?
It took me 9 years of psychoanalysis to become a decent human being.
I have been played, manipulated, again. After listening to this, I realize my codependency in this marriage. My husband is a falsely/over empowered codependent. He’s over the top nice, buying little gifts all the time , telling me how wonderful I am blah blah blah. That’s what suckered me into the marriage the fist time. I am so mad at myself for falling for that same crap. There is nothing that is authentic about him. I know I’m complaining. Just the fact that I allow this, knowing well that he could care less about this marriage, but more about his need to be loved at any cost, which stems from his childhood that he so denies was imperfect, because God forbid if there is anything wrong with a minister. Another false identity he created for himself. Hiding behind shame and denial. I feel for him, I will to continue to work on myself regardless of what he does, but I don’t see this marriage lasting, I asked him to move out months ago, and I will not let him move back in. Ok I’m done.
Oof man did my narc have me wrapped around an axle with this stuff. I brought her into my home because i was naive and in love. I supported her completely while she pursued her thing. When i took issue with her avoidance and lack of interest she created a frame where i was giving to get. That was really unfair and manipulative. I had made an incorrect assumption: that we were in relationship. That was the extent of my "agenda". I threw her out. She went back to mama's spare bedroom from whence she came. Cashier at Home Depot. She is 61 and has a Masters. Shes "an astrologer" dontcha know😅
I have my things. I brought her in and wrestled with her for a year. Thats on me. But the cheap shot from her that i was manipulating her and trying to guilt her by keeping her warm and fed was...beyond crazymaking. One of the ugliest mischaracterizations Ive ever endured.
Narcs watch this stuff too. Narcs are "psych aware" too.
What if I can't be healed? When a dog won't stop biting, we euthanize it because it's just too damaged to rehabilitate. Maybe I'm the same. I need to know when that's the conclusion I should realize.
Yeah everyone looks like a model on the commercial 😂😂😂
Did we create our false empowerment through manipulation is any part of it authentic real or am I missing something here
Great question. Whether a person becomes falsely empowered or disempowered they are both adaptive responses to navigate childhood trauma.
❤❤❤❤❤
Is there such a thing as a normal person....normal may not be the right word ....maybe the proper person...?
hlw sir
Sharing yuur 0wn st0ry is really c0ns0ling ;) THank yu !!