I participated in various church communities since childhood, and adored God when I was little, but I grew up into the same kind of confusion you described here. For some reason nobody could offer the good news without a seasoning of ifs, buts, and commitments I couldn't keep. They CALLED it good news, and said I get joy and peace now. Unfortunately, they didn't notice that I was still a sinner! Big elephant in the room. Saved by grace (in theory), but kept messing up my salvation. Had to apologise with increasing sincerity each time. Eventually I gave up - the faux grace ran out and got replaced by shame and despair. When I couldn't distract myself from existential dread, I would read about Jesus in the gospels, because his love for weak despised sinners gave me hope. Proverbs and Ecclesiastes also spoke to me, but I avoided the rest of the OT. In the NT I couldn't make sense of Paul or anybody else (I felt like Paul condemned me and I didnt feel warmly towards him either). And FORGET Revelation - I was sure I was being spit out and lamp removed, if THAT Jesus was in charge. 😂 I was severely depressed and had a lot of panic attacks. I remember telling God: I'm living in despair, and I don't understand the bible, but I want so badly to trust you. Without you I'm lost. You are God, and I believe you are good. Please keep me, and please make it make sense. Oh my goodness, it took so LONG. Little moments of clarity when I'd stray into Romans and realise unexpectedly that Paul might not be my enemy. Or I'd meet someone who was convinced they were 'once saved always saved', and while I was vaguely aware they could be a dangerous heretic, they seemed so warm and loving and, well, JOYFUL. Were they taking salvation seriously?? I joined a bible study. That helped. But I still couldn't overcome sin (especially the sin of hating going to church). Why was I such a failure? Probably demonic oppression. I went down a youtube rabbit hole. One day, after listening to a particularly condemnatory sermon online, I googled 'false teachers' and read about Lordship salvation. I decided to take a break from churches. I searched scriptures for myself. Soon afterwards, I came across Renee Roland's channel and learned about 'free grace'. I swayed back and forth a bit... but at some point it all clicked into place. I was RIGHT - God IS good!!! The bible even says so, in so many ways I hadn't understood. Ohhh what a relief, and a joy, and FREEDOM. I'm not afraid, I don't doubt His love, and I see He is good from first line of Genesis to last word of Revelation. It turns out, Paul knew how good God is, and wanted me to know too. Blessed brother Paul! I'm on a much lower dose of a medicine than I used to be. It is helping with a small chemical imbalance instead of numbing a spiritual crisis. Jesus bore my sins and I am alive in Him. THANK YOU GOD! ❤
Jon Bloom writes about soul burdens in his devotional Come to Jesus in Rest. Soul burdens often come from false beliefs. Thanks for sharing your experience and encouraging others to find peace in His grace.
Lordship salvation and legalism are horrible to live with it almost destroyed me at one point, I appreciate how open and honest you were in the video i am so glad your out of that, no need to apologize this was very encouraging ik you have a lot to say and im always down to listen to it.
"You wouldn't be depressed if you had Jesus." I've believed something like that in the past, not anymore though. Love watching your videos. I agree with you, we should repent of sin out of gratitude for His love and goodness, not out of fear or wanting to perform well.
I wasn't blined when I was in lordship! I knew I was acting just like a pharacee. I could have ben saved already during that! Well technically Iwas saved because jesus already knew the sins I would commit and went to a cross, and rose again 3 days later for my justification.
I've been coming out of legalism and I can relate to the things you mentioned I find Romans 7:7-8 interesting regarding legalism: "7 What shall we say, then? Is the law sinful? Certainly not! Nevertheless, I would not have known what sin was had it not been for the law. For I would not have known what coveting really was if the law had not said, “You shall not covet.” 8 *But sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, produced in me every kind of coveting.* " It's interesting because, as we know, God uses evil for good. The cross being of course the greatest example of this, but also Joseph when he was betrayed by his brothers or when God allowed Assyria to overrun Israel. The devil likewise, uses good for evil. He takes the law, which is good and creates anxiety, judgmentalism, anger, hatred, obsessions, moral pride and so on. Jesus on the cross has taken the need to be perfect away that legalism wants to put back on your shoulder. It's so obvious once you snap out of it, but when you are in it it's just confusing and self defeating. I found listening to the many NDEs (Near death experiences) on youtube really helpful, because over and over and over again people that met God noted how loving and non-judgmental he was, how gentle, how humble and how approachable, how he wasn't offended at them, and how he truly and perfectly loved them like no parent on earth ever could. It really helped me to just focus on his loving parental nature and rejoice in it, while yes of course trying to be obedient, but that is not the focus, it's something you naturally grow into, like walking, talking, reading and writing when you were a kid in school. This stuff wasn't learnt over night, neither is being Christ-like. But that's not the focus, it really is loving God and your neighbor more and more. The rest will come.
One problem with Lordship salvation is a logical contradiction. LS people often say that it is the Holy Spirit working in you when you quit certain bad habits/ sins. Ok. But if you do not, then they say it's a lack of effort on your part. As you are dealing with psychology: Once, I saw a psychologist who explained that such religious thinking is similar to the thought patterns of depressed people. Since such people tend to attribute their mistakes and failures to themselves, but their successes and achievements to external circumstances ("I was just lucky and didn't even deserve it"). So this is unhealthy thinking of neurotic people. I believe the gospel, if it's understood correctly, doesn't make people neurotic. Of course, salvation can't be achieved by our effort. But we shouldn't beat ourselves up because of our little sins and failures, either.
I participated in various church communities since childhood, and adored God when I was little, but I grew up into the same kind of confusion you described here. For some reason nobody could offer the good news without a seasoning of ifs, buts, and commitments I couldn't keep. They CALLED it good news, and said I get joy and peace now. Unfortunately, they didn't notice that I was still a sinner! Big elephant in the room. Saved by grace (in theory), but kept messing up my salvation. Had to apologise with increasing sincerity each time. Eventually I gave up - the faux grace ran out and got replaced by shame and despair.
When I couldn't distract myself from existential dread, I would read about Jesus in the gospels, because his love for weak despised sinners gave me hope. Proverbs and Ecclesiastes also spoke to me, but I avoided the rest of the OT. In the NT I couldn't make sense of Paul or anybody else (I felt like Paul condemned me and I didnt feel warmly towards him either). And FORGET Revelation - I was sure I was being spit out and lamp removed, if THAT Jesus was in charge. 😂
I was severely depressed and had a lot of panic attacks. I remember telling God: I'm living in despair, and I don't understand the bible, but I want so badly to trust you. Without you I'm lost. You are God, and I believe you are good. Please keep me, and please make it make sense.
Oh my goodness, it took so LONG. Little moments of clarity when I'd stray into Romans and realise unexpectedly that Paul might not be my enemy. Or I'd meet someone who was convinced they were 'once saved always saved', and while I was vaguely aware they could be a dangerous heretic, they seemed so warm and loving and, well, JOYFUL. Were they taking salvation seriously??
I joined a bible study. That helped. But I still couldn't overcome sin (especially the sin of hating going to church). Why was I such a failure? Probably demonic oppression. I went down a youtube rabbit hole.
One day, after listening to a particularly condemnatory sermon online, I googled 'false teachers' and read about Lordship salvation. I decided to take a break from churches. I searched scriptures for myself. Soon afterwards, I came across Renee Roland's channel and learned about 'free grace'. I swayed back and forth a bit... but at some point it all clicked into place. I was RIGHT - God IS good!!! The bible even says so, in so many ways I hadn't understood. Ohhh what a relief, and a joy, and FREEDOM. I'm not afraid, I don't doubt His love, and I see He is good from first line of Genesis to last word of Revelation. It turns out, Paul knew how good God is, and wanted me to know too. Blessed brother Paul!
I'm on a much lower dose of a medicine than I used to be. It is helping with a small chemical imbalance instead of numbing a spiritual crisis. Jesus bore my sins and I am alive in Him. THANK YOU GOD! ❤
Jon Bloom writes about soul burdens in his devotional Come to Jesus in Rest. Soul burdens often come from false beliefs. Thanks for sharing your experience and encouraging others to find peace in His grace.
Brain = fallen flesh
AMEN!!! 👏🏿💯✅
Amen and Amen! haha, God bless you Chima!
I also can relate to most of this, thank God for over 2 years I have understood the true grace Gospel!
God bless you Mohan!
I just love listening to you, Jack. As to matters of faith, we are definitely on the same page. Your message is important.
Thank you so much for those kind words Preston, God bless!
Lordship salvation and legalism are horrible to live with it almost destroyed me at one point, I appreciate how open and honest you were in the video i am so glad your out of that, no need to apologize this was very encouraging ik you have a lot to say and im always down to listen to it.
@Nirvanafanboy1991 Love you Bro, we are survivors; Jesus loves you too.
@@godssoldierdylan-gracechan9561 Love you too bro and thank you so much remember Jesus loves you too!
Thank you so much brother, God bless!
@@christianconvos You are very welcome brother God bless you too!
"You wouldn't be depressed if you had Jesus." I've believed something like that in the past, not anymore though.
Love watching your videos.
I agree with you, we should repent of sin out of gratitude for His love and goodness, not out of fear or wanting to perform well.
Amen Pablo, and thank you so much! God bless!
I wasn't blined when I was in lordship! I knew I was acting just like a pharacee. I could have ben saved already during that! Well technically Iwas saved because jesus already knew the sins I would commit and went to a cross, and rose again 3 days later for my justification.
What's important is that we know the truth now, God bless you Leef!
Amen ❤
God bless you brother!
@@christianconvos And you My brother :)
I’m subbing right now ❤❤❤❤
I don't see how anybody can say they love somebody (God), that they are scared of, and who keeps them guessing about things.
❤
God bless you Jessica!
@@christianconvos thank you ❤️ 🙏🏻 you too
I've been coming out of legalism and I can relate to the things you mentioned
I find Romans 7:7-8 interesting regarding legalism:
"7 What shall we say, then? Is the law sinful? Certainly not! Nevertheless, I would not have known what sin was had it not been for the law. For I would not have known what coveting really was if the law had not said, “You shall not covet.” 8 *But sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, produced in me every kind of coveting.* "
It's interesting because, as we know, God uses evil for good. The cross being of course the greatest example of this, but also Joseph when he was betrayed by his brothers or when God allowed Assyria to overrun Israel. The devil likewise, uses good for evil. He takes the law, which is good and creates anxiety, judgmentalism, anger, hatred, obsessions, moral pride and so on.
Jesus on the cross has taken the need to be perfect away that legalism wants to put back on your shoulder. It's so obvious once you snap out of it, but when you are in it it's just confusing and self defeating.
I found listening to the many NDEs (Near death experiences) on youtube really helpful, because over and over and over again people that met God noted how loving and non-judgmental he was, how gentle, how humble and how approachable, how he wasn't offended at them, and how he truly and perfectly loved them like no parent on earth ever could. It really helped me to just focus on his loving parental nature and rejoice in it, while yes of course trying to be obedient, but that is not the focus, it's something you naturally grow into, like walking, talking, reading and writing when you were a kid in school. This stuff wasn't learnt over night, neither is being Christ-like. But that's not the focus, it really is loving God and your neighbor more and more. The rest will come.
Thanks Jack!!
God bless you Tyler! :)
BRO YOU ARE FREE GRACE 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯
Amen! Free Grace all the way!
Hi Jack 💙🤗
Hi Ray Ray! Hope all is well! :) God bless!
@@christianconvos I'm good thank you. 🙂 Hope the same for you.
One problem with Lordship salvation is a logical contradiction.
LS people often say that it is the Holy Spirit working in you when you quit certain bad habits/ sins. Ok.
But if you do not, then they say it's a lack of effort on your part.
As you are dealing with psychology:
Once, I saw a psychologist who explained that such religious thinking is similar to the thought patterns of depressed people. Since such people tend to attribute their mistakes and failures to themselves, but their successes and achievements to external circumstances ("I was just lucky and didn't even deserve it").
So this is unhealthy thinking of neurotic people.
I believe the gospel, if it's understood correctly, doesn't make people neurotic.
Of course, salvation can't be achieved by our effort. But we shouldn't beat ourselves up because of our little sins and failures, either.
Completely agree AZB! God bless!
I’m free grace as well
God bless!
Seems like you went from one extreme to the other.
@sashie_washie its just the truth, legalism is an extreme that is heresy and so is free grace.
Not so much extreme as much as only going by what Scripture says alone, hope this clears things up!
I'm saved because I'm Heterosexual!!!! lol.
LOL!! God bless you Gary!