As someone with BPD and having watching the Anakin Skywalker BPD cinematherapy this just makes so much sense to me. Once she died, they all became nothing to him. They became less than animals and all he has was hate and an actual desire to hurt them and end them. He detached from any other emotion. They just stopped existing.
Lot of people likes to call Padmé crazy for comforting him after he confesses he murdered the entire Tusken village. In the How It Should Have Ended series they even showed her slowly backing up, jump ship and leave the planet without Anakin, saying "no one in their right mind would stay around someone like that". My point has been for a long time that her reaction was perfect in the movie. That was what Anakin needed. Well, sure, it's easier to walk away than selflessly trying to help someone in their darkest hour. If it wasn't for Padmé, Anakin would have turned to the dark side right there. I also believe she could have prevented him turning if she was with Anakin in Palpatine's office. Padmé could have been a good therapist I think.
I agree with you. I also think, that if Jedi cared more about Anakin's wellbeing, he won't turn to the dark side. I thing, a huge problem with Jedi's culture is that they trying to meditate emotions away, rather than feeling them and dealing with them
Yes I feel like Anakin doesn't know how to control or even express his emotions for what they are, because of the Jedi Order. He's been taught ever since he's been a kid (full of traumas) that "you have to find balance" and la di da, and love everything because you have to feel empathy for every living being in order to want to be involved with their ways etc, etc. Yet no one ever faces or encourages Anakin to face the turmoil he feels inside of him. Except Padme, who loves him and cares for him and allows him to express his emotions: sure, at first it starts with him screaming in anger that he hates the sand people and such, but it also came, at the end, as tears, him finding comfort in her arms and allowing himself to feel the pain and the hurt and the sadness of losing his mother. So losing Padme to him, is even more than losing "the love of his life", he's losing his "emotional agency", like, "the right" to be Anakin and not just a Jedi. Because that's some level of understanding that Obi-Wan lacked too, contrary to, for example, Qui-Gon who was about to set Anakin off a different path that "the Jedi Order" and their vision of things (Dave Filoni says it quite right himself, that all alone Obi-Wan took upon himself to take care of Anakin but he was not ready: barely in the eyes of the Jedi Order, and not at all to "receive" a child like Anakin who was so... "angsty" to begin with- fatherless, a child raised into slavery, etc). And that's why the love story between Anakin and Padme is so strong, despite some "toxic" aspects, like Anakin's weird obsession, it's because probably Padme has always been the one showing true, selfless and soft kindness towards Anakin (other than his mother). She cares about *him* - and she does not shy away from his flaws or even encourage him to burry said flaws or emotions. And I'm sure Obi-Wan did too and still does when he loses Anakin, but he's never been able or ALLOWED to show it (because of the Jedi teachings), contrary to Padme herself. Anakin's fear of losing Padme is as much about himself than it is about her, because his relationship with Padme also allowed Anakin to "deal" with his emotions and adress these things that have been denied from him for so many years with the Jedi Order. And you know, that's what makes the sequels interesting in some aspects: I understand what TLJ (or even The Mandalorian/Book of Boba Fett) tried to accomplish with Luke, you know, him forsaking a lot of things - maybe even relationships, like with Leia and Han etc, etc? - in the name of "perpetuating the Jedi Order", and repeating this circle destroyed everything once again (for the same reasons, Ben Solo and Anakin having a looooot of parallels), to the point of him deciding to renounce everything and rejecting EVERYTHING about being a Jedi (I just don't like the execution of most of all of this). I just wish Luke's story would have been more than that, but hey that's my pov anyway. All in all, it boils down to the Jedi Order's stubborn "ignorance" of human emotions and human bonds, they neglected Anakin where Padme and Shmi were comfort figures for him, that's why losing them literally broke him and his whole identity (the symbolic going as far as Anakin losing his identity from a practical pov, his body, his face, and his own name).
@@MARYWTHER i love everything about your comment and i agree with every single detail! i don’t know if you have or not watched already but on cinema therapy they talk about anakin having borderline personality disorder wich basically is a disorder caused by the lack of emotional awareness and maturity duel to trauma and emotional neglect and how it affects your personality and i say it’s perfect because i do suffer from bpd and i relate with anakin in that aspect and everything you said is just on point! instead of “forget the pain of the past and love everything but not in a individual way” like the jedi told him to to do everything he need was someone who actually saw him as an individual with his pain and his flaws! someone who accepted him and comforted him but also educated him and that was padme! losing her was the end of him… it truly is toxic but is often common for people with bpd to hold on too tight to someone as their saviors, being obsessed or paranoid so imagine him thinking that she and obi-wan were betraying him! definitely the greatest emotional trigger after years bubbling everything up because of the jedi order… the recipe for a disaster
this isn’t the healthiest way to approach it, in my opinion. it isn’t, and should never be your significant other’s job to “fix” or “heal” you. they aren’t your therapist, and it shouldn’t be put on them to begin with.
She shows him sympathy and tells him "to be angry is to be human" but doesn't add "you need help". She essentially validates not just his feelings but also his actions. Now consider that Padme reciprocrates Anakin's romantic feelings shortly after this incident. Essentially she rewards him for mass murder! What if Padme was actually Palpatine's double agent, helping to stir up Anakin's negative emotions to help turn him to the dark side? It would also explain why the assassination attempts on her were so laughably inept, and why she made herself indispensible to the anti-war faction in the senate, then left Jar-Jar in charge during her absence.
Anakin: “I don’t like therapy. It’s coarse, and rough and irritating, and it gets in my brain. Not like murdering younglings…, killing younglings makes me feel soft and warm.”
The line "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering" has been heavily criticized for being a gross oversimplification of how emotions work, but that was the point. The Jedi at that time were almost like Vulcans. They tried to brainwash younglings and Padawans into either not feeling any emotions at all or to keep them bottled up, which as we saw partially lead to their downfall. It's probable that even if Sidious hadn't taken over and executed Order 66, the Jedi Order would have collapsed from the inside due to their inability to cope with complex feelings and social situations in a healthy way.
Imagine if the other outcome was a Jedi Civil War instigated by Anakin even if the results can be potentially messier than the actual prequel/clone wars canon
Thank you for this analysis. Although Hayden Christensen got a lot of crap, he did an amazing job with the scrip that he had. If you had never watched the movies and you did without sound or subtitles, you can see exactly what emotions Anakin feels in every scene. That does take a lot of skill. Thank you for your videos ❤️
If the Star Wars universe had therapists Anakin could have been helped. Instead the Jedi Order just expected him to repress the grief for his mother's murder.
Many franchises (ESPECIALLY STAR WARS) really need a Jim Raynor. Jim Raynor is a Starcraft character who can have some therapist vibes and an over the top heart of gold despite the swearing and impulsiveness
Most of this galaxy's problems could probably be avoided if the Jedi didn't take children from their parents and force (pun intended) them to not get married and turn them into child soldiers. When Yoda said Luke was "too old" to complete the training in ESB, he was just trying to be difficult; I doubt it was originally written to mean "We didn't steal you from your parents as an infant, so get lost."
3:56 I'd argue that in that scene his facial expressions werent 'hollywood movie appropriate', meaning they didnt express the emotions in a way hollywood usually does. However, i'd argue that he expressed those emotions in a very human way, not in a fake, glamorous movie way. THAT is exactly what an angry, distraught, heart broken person looks like. That is exactly it. Its not pretty, its not something that can be idolized, and it doesnt have the 'hollywood sheen' of shininess and polish on it. Its rough, its real. And i really like that
Thank you for sharing. Anakin really does provide a lot of examples about how vulnerable emotions left unchecked can be damaging, especially to those we love. Thanks again
Thanks for the vid! I love Anakin. I relate a lot to him. I think a lot of what he is feeling here too is regret, and there is not much you can do about time lost and missed opportunities. "I'm here now” and then she dies, after they were finally reunited after years. To me, the entire prequel series is a cautionary tale about toxic masculinity, and things like how men or Jedi as a whole should not have attachments, or feel vulnerable, or feel scared, because they make them feel weak, so it makes sense that they would naturally default to something that makes them feel strong, even temporarily, like anger, cockiness, or stoicism. The Jedi were wrong.
The Jedi were so wrong. Not to mention, it never made sense to me why they wouldn't allow Anakin to see his mother. They knew that he had been separated from her at an age when he was old enough to remember her. What would it have hurt to let him stay in contact with her, or better yet, buy her out of slavery? Hell, Lars did it.
@@misspriss2482 Imagine if the other outcome was a Jedi Civil War instigated by Anakin even if the results can be potentially messier than the actual prequel/clone wars canon. Would the Jedi be wrong anyways?
Key Takeaways: a) Listen to yourself, what is the issue? What are you really feeling? b) What is your reason for choosing anger over the actual emotion? For what reason is it not an option to just go with your underlying emotion and e.g. just cry or grief or seek safety? DBT has taught me a lot about this and man, this was some useful Stuff!
Thank you for the lesson, "Grover." But seriously, I appreciate the caveat that there won't be a 100% success rate when you choose to be vulnerable. I don't really want to go into details, but recently I've had two separate experiences where my choice to be vulnerable during a confrontation just led to more bullying. Now, the good news is that I still know I made the right choice, and now I can feel confident (if not happy) about limiting those relationships in the future. It's true, though, vulnerability still has a much higher success rate at repairing relationships than anger does. And I'm grateful for that.
As a counselor in training, a lifelong storyteller, and a MASSIVE Star Wars fan, I LOVE this! I tell my kiddos that "anger is usually somebody's bodyguard." Anakin is such an amazing picture of that. A lot of people blame his stunted emotional expression abilities on the Jedi, but I heartily disagree with this. I believe a lot of his issues stem from black and white, all-or-nothing cognitive distortions and stuck point that arise from his trauma from being a slave on Tatooine. Anakin learned two responses during this time: either hide all of his emotions to protect himself or fly off the handle in anger to protect himself (case in point: lying to Yoda about his fear in TPM and fighting tiny Greedo in a deleted scene from TPM). He never quite understood that what the Jedi were looking for was processing and control, not complete repression. Compare what we just saw above with some lines from the prequel films from other Jedi we love, Obi-Wan and Yoda, who were brought up in the Temple in a positive, supportive, trauma-free environment. Though their cultural values lead them to a lower level of expressed emotion (which is OKAY), this does not mean that those emotions go unexpressed and unprocessed, and the defense mechanism of anger is generally not present (generally. Obi-Wan can get frustrated at Anakin sometimes, God bless him): "Skywalker is in pain, terrible pain." (sadness) "Seeing you alive brings warm feelings to my heart." (relief and happiness) "Begun, the Clone War has." (fear, with some acceptance and grief as well) "You are strong and wise, Anakin, and I am very proud of you." (happiness) "Use your feelings, Anakin, something is out of place!" (fear) "Just try not to destroy all of the droids before I arrive." (playfulness, determination) "You were my brother, Anakin! I loved you!" (GRIEF, despair) Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Anakin. He's like my problematic little brother. I'm a nineties baby, so the Prequels are my Star Wars, even if I know that objectively they're not as good as the OT. But the Jedi were ABSOLUTELY RIGHT about emotional control and the nature of fear and anger. Anakin can't wrap his mind around this due to preexisting faulty beliefs about himself, others, and the world that he won't deal with. This is very common with trauma, and I'm certainly not blaming Anakin, but in the end, we can all choose to run from the pain in our pasts, or to face it and learn from it. As a trauma survivor myself, I can tell you the latter is the much more healing, balanced option, even if it is one of the hardest things I've ever done. Thank you so much for this, Jonathan, and may the Force be with you!
My father would yell and get angry so quickly at certain things. I then find myself doing it and I hate it. It hurts my relationship with my kids and after the anger is over I feel awful. I’m going to try and stay calm and express my feelings instead of lashing out. Thanks! I always love your videos
Pop Culture Detective pointed out something interesting in that the Jedi took Anakin away from his mother at a young age, and then dismissed his feelings of loss (as a child), and told him that his feelings were bad, and that his totally normal feelings would lead him to the dark side. Every time he expressed vulnerability he was told by the Jedi to just... Stop it. How fucked up is that?
Thank you for sharing your insights. It is frustrating when you are brave enough to share your feelings and they are dismissed or trivialized. It makes it hard to keep wanting to share.
Yes, it can definitely make you want to share less when people dismiss or trivialize what you say! There may be people that will teach you not to talk with them about things that matter to you, because they just can't be trusted to take care of you, and they are disrespectful to you.
I don't think you're wrong, but the bigger issue behind Anakin's rage problem had to do with spending a decade in a strict religious sect that never encouraged him to embrace his emotions but instead suppress them. The one guy who would've probably been a good mentor for him (apologies to Obi-Wan) got killed when he hadn't even been admitted yet.
Obi-Wan's biggest problem is that he was too loyal to the Jedi Code and had restrictive thinking because of it. He couldn't understand why Anakin and Qui-Gon didn't just do as they were told by the Council, because, in his mind, the Jedi Code, and by extension, the Council, was infallible.
Another possibility is ASD. Heavy fits of rage, awkward social skills ("Idon't like sand" "are you an angel") and a heavy interest in a particular subject; mechanics, which he was still into even as Vader.
Something I've noticed about Anakin, is that many people have had an emotional similarity of Anakin/Vader. From seeing this little boy who wants nothing but to simply help others, to a man who becomes the embodiment of fear to everyone, and caused by so much in between that time to beat that man down.
In my aikido lessons, we often did the “take a deep breath, focus on your body, focus on here and now, breathe out the excess emotion” thing while practicing a technique. I never realized how well I learned that and how extremely useful it was until I became a de facto parent. My kid is just a year old and he is having real trouble with keeping down his food; every meal is a major struggle and it has caused a lot of frustration. So many times a day, I go “breathe out, let out the anger”, because it’s so easy to be mad at the kid even when it’s 100% not his fault; it’s extremely frustrating and also scary because despite our best efforts, he’s really thin (after his checkup, the pediatrician finally agreed to have him tested for food allergies and such to rule out an underlying condition). Anyway, with the Star Wars prequels, the Jedi and Anakin especially, I often wonder if they wrote it the way they did on purpose or if it was an accident? The Jedi teach Anakin to suppress emotion (or at least that is how he perceives their teachings in the movies), and that’s obviously a terrible idea which (combined with a lot of trauma and possibly an underlying mental condition) eventually leads to Vader. I want to believe this was Lucas’s intention (“don’t go suppressing your emotions, kids, rather learn to deal with them in a healthy way”), but given some of the interviews he gave, I have my doubts.
I think Lucas had some problematic views about emotions and how to handle them. He also justified dishonesty - remember Luke confronting Yoda about saying that Darth Vader had killed Luke's father and Yoda justifying the lie because in a sense it was true? As I see it, that's unforgiveable in a teacher/mentor/sensei; it's a fundamental breach of trust. By the time of the final three movies Lucas seems to have come to terms with some of these things; those movies are much better at dealing with negative emotions. At that point we begin to see the mistakes Luke has made in his attempts to recreate the Jedi order, and we can see how they're the direct result of some of the toxic teachings he himself received from Yoda. The people who are truly coming up with solutions in those movies are Leia and Han, and they don't do it by lying, or telling people to deny their emotions. Nor do they assume that *anyone* is beyond redemption.
This is how men handle grief in almost every movie. They're allowed to be sad for like 1 minute, shed a single tear, and then it turns to rage. Talk about classic toxic masculinity and why it's so terrifying for women to reject or upset men.
@TheLur Truth is that toxic masculinity exists, and I'm not even going to list the endless Wikipedia or Google Scholar clickthroughs you could do on your own, or the university library stuff you could freely browse. The violent outbursts it tends to cause, for whatever slight, is demonstrably channeled through mysogyny and femicide in a significant number of cases, which again you can look up the scholarly, scientific, medical and government policy numbers on. If you've trouble reading and factchecking academic theory or scientific studies, there's nice beginner level courses for that, a lot of them for free as well, and they can be useful elsewhere in life. So yeah "toxic masculinity" is a classic and yet also a true excuse for being afraid of interacting with men. Please take a breath next time before calling someone "unbalanced" or "underdeveloped" with no clear or constructive explanation. And calling something "toxic masculinity" isn't violent anger, as you call it. Finally, "the severe mental issues and flawed character that actually create that kind of behavior" is exactly what's implied, but less harshly so, when calling someone's behavior "toxically masculine". But that's not a definitive persecution in any way. It's something you could take in and work on, you know, to make yourself a nicer person to more people. Anakin learned this stuff at the very end and was very nice about it.
@TheLur Also, I do agree that this video, and Anakin's story, isn't about him getting caught up in toxic masculinity culture per se. Or at least it's subtle about it. More overt is Anakin's having clear mental disorders and personal drama, not being listened to when he asks help, and then lashing out in violent delusion. Which does implicate his friendships', and the Jedi culture's toxicity, but that isn't so much gender-coded in these films.
So true. Unfortunately, expressing their emotions is something that most men are shamed out of at a young age. "Only girls cry!" "Suck it up; be a man." So instead of a man admitting that he feels hurt and/or unwanted when he's rejected, he allows those feelings to become anger. He then takes them out on the woman in question in an effort to make himself feel better and resume control.
Ya know, if the Jedi temple just taught Force healing, we could have avoided the whole thing. Well, that and healthy emotional expression and regulation.
05:12 - 05:22 That happens in English. In Italian we don't say:"I _feel_ like we should go out for pizza."we say:"I _think_ we should go out for pizza."or:"Why don't we go out for pizza?"or:"What do you say if we go out for pizza?"Stuff like that.
It would be easy for some people to say that Anakin is a Mamma's Boy, maybe they do but that's hardly the case. Until however old Anakin was when he left home & his mother to become a Jedi, she carried him, she gave birth, she raised him all by herself ( there was no father, she tells Qui-Gon ) so of course he's very close to her, knows that she sacrificed a lot for him ( probably ) & naturally he would do anything for her like even promising that he would return to Tatooine & free her one day. Plus not only was he the only kid who could Podrace but the only human who could do it too despite his mother's natural fears & disapproval of it.
To be fair, he and Yoda are both right. Fear does to the dark side, but that is mentioned because the council sensed fear in young Anakin. These other feelings like sadness, emotional damage, and helpless do lead to the dark side like mentioned in the video.
Currently, my anger is mostly at my health insurance and the mental health system for not really helping me enough, which is just kind of obviously vulnerability
I don't fully agree with what you have to say about anger. There are times that expressing anger is the right thing to do. I went out with someone who every time I felt hurt, if I expressed it in a calm and reasoned manner, I was ignored and we would cycle back to the same situation at a later time. I don't express anger easily. It was not until I forced myself to get angry and express it that I was finally taken seriously. It is sad that I had to do that but it was more effective than the "serious talks" that were ultimately ignored. Expressing anger in the right way can be a good thing.
If you look close enough, it always ends up in fear... feeling hurt, sad, hungry... it's always fear in disguise... if someone is calling me ugly, it's the fear of being separated, not being worth to be loved... feeling sad can be the fear of loosing somebody or something... not understanding and accepting that nothing is permanent... feeling very very very hungry is the root fear of starve to death... sure, if my girlfriend gets angry because of hunger, it's not because the fear of death :D but because of that small hunger, she wouldn't kill somebody haha but nevertheless, in the end it's fear which leads to suffering...
Fwiw, when I first shared one of your Cinema Therapy videos with my mom (we watch them together all the time now), one of the first things out of her mouth was "Oh, he's handsome!" So ur not ugly 😜
Thing is we are taught from a very young age that men can be angry, its ok to be mad and all, just don't be sad or cry And women? They can cry and be sad and weak, but not mad and loud or agrassive. So imagine a woman in a place she cannot show how she feels, so she gets angry, but she can't show that either.
Isn't it funny how you kinda hear things at rhe right time to kind of understand them properly? Cause of the week I had...my emotions went a way I was not expecting which was to anger. I had two boys that were ill and I had been unwell prior to that...and even though I'm a nurse and I know what to do...I was just tired and frustrated and worried about work. My poor partner kinda got snapped at a few times because all this hurt and worry I was feeling went to...anger and irritability. I basically just had to apologise and say 'I'm sorry. That was rude and you are doing a good job. I'm not upset at you I'm just really angry at the situation.' But I justified my anger to myself originally and in my head I was like 'oh. Of course. Everything up to me. I gotta think of everything cause I'm the nurse.' But...I'm usually the opposite. Sorry to kinda turn a but of a 180 but to share something...I had a bad experience with chronic bullying for about 5 years at the workplace. I'm out of that situation now but...it messed with me a bit but as much as I don't think bullying is at all 'character building' I did notice that if I see someone being hurt or belittled...(the feeling tends to get worse closer they are to me) I tend to get feelings of real anger...but to channel that and to handle my general anger i try to help them through it by using the tools I had to use to get though it....I have no idea if that's healthy or not but it does help manage general feelings of anger. But I find it weird that I didn't really feel angry when it happened to me. It was more of a feeling of hurt and 'I really want this to stop. Please stop'. I kinda got more angry at myself and thought 'ok don't cry. Don't show any emotion or you will lose credibility. Be better. Just get smarter. Stop flinching whenever they is near you. Why are you flinching? She shouldn't scare you. Don't show fear....she won't hurt you in a crowd..' ..I dunno it was weird. Anything but anger really. But then get furious when it happens to someone else. I dunno. Night time musings in weird ways I manage anger.
If you don't get angry at being bullied, are you used to standing up for yourself, or were you made the martyr or the scapegoat growing up? I have often found that people who don't get angry when they're mistreated are used to being treated that way and that's pretty sad. You are allowed to feel righteous anger when you get mistreated. You don't deserve it.
What about when people do something that’s obviously wrong. Like, if I see someone abuse their child, the feeling I feel is anger. I don’t feel sad; I feel angry. That’s the feeling. If someone steals from me, I’m not sad because my money is gone; I’m angry that I’ve been stolen from. Why can’t I express anger when I’m angry?
So how i manage anger is by getting to the root of my emotion, i ask myself why am i angry? Who am i actually mad at? Is there anything i can do to remedy the problem? Sometimes i am just mad because i am and i let myself feel it for a moment then i process it.
@@MendedLight I got a response!!! woot woot! :) maybe even an irl laugh ! Your information and advice has been important in my life. Even asked my soon to be wife to watch multiple of your videos. Its helped to explain my childhood trauma to her, and you have given me extra tools and ways of looking at things to progress towards feeling better. Just moved WA to NY (near Rochester) any chance you have therapist friends there? lol , that would be so cool
Grief loss self blame And can't understand why it happened. That he feels responsible for it not to mention because he left he feels that he did this to himself. That's what Anakin feels inside
They killed his mom, and the Jedi are just as much to blame as the sand people. And what, you thought they were just gonna let him go with the body in peace or let him cry? If it was me I'd done the same along with every other tusken camp on my way back. People are so quick to invalidate his anger/rage. People today get angry at a slight inconvenience, but you think people should just forget murder? Nah, they got what they deserved and the Jedi didn't get it soon enough.
Yeahhhh but don't you think this also inadvertedly caused any potential friendship with the mandalorians almost gone for good because of what Anakin did?? Because as it turned out in the early Mandalorian episodes bargaining with the Tuskens CAN be possible. Or are the mandalorians as guilty for never caring for the skywalker bloodline until it was way too late?
My biggest issue with the Jedi is that they don't address emotional issues, they just teach their students to effectively suppress them, which is just not healthy. It works for them because they indoctrinate younglings so they're too emotionally stunted to act like normal people. Admittedly, the Force amplifies emotion beyond what it normally would be, so there's a good reason why they suppress them, but I feel like it was doomed to failure. The Sith have the opposite problem, in that they over-indulge their emotions, to the point of self destruction. Sadly, only a handful of Star Wars media addresses this dual issue, but the mainline franchise likes to keep it more black and white.
He's Kermit too, and a lot of other muppets, both in voice and puppeteering. You can see him do the thing where he scrunches up the forehead and smushes the mouth, to imply the puppet's thinking, in exactly the same way with both Kermit and Yoda. That's apparently a high level puppeteering skill, to make those faces scrunch up when the puppet has thoughts or feelings, and he's one of the few that can do it.
I am curious about the Jedi and their methods. How their way of letting go of everything they fear to loose... Like, is that healthy in any capacity? Or is it one of the flaws of the Jedi Order? Like, sure, it worked for them for thousands of years, but could that be because of their kidnapping of children at an early age, teaching them to become Jedi and surpressing these emotions of fear and such? To have no attachement, and to be calm in the face of adversity. Is it healthy, or is it flawed?
Question - what is the purpose of anger then? Is it strictly a negative drag to us? Where did it come from? What would a positive (if such a thing exist) thing be that would come from anger?
I think anger can be protective. It can help us to not be abused, taken advantage of, or hurt. In ancient times it could be helpful for warfare and hunting. Today it's great for the gym. It's just information, it tells us that something's wrong. If we calm down we can ID the vulnerable underlying need and emotion and express that instead of the anger.
Hey guys, I just have a quick question. How do you know you're getting upset and stop, before you explode and it's too late? Because I'm someone who gets angry really quickly and then explodes and says the worst stuff, because I am angry and want to hurt the person that made me angry. So, how do you know you're getting angry and should stop? Are there methods to help you know or is it just a thing you should naturally know and recognize?
I think you may want to put a content warning. Before showing a beat up, bloody, dying woman, since not everyone saw that movie? Content warnings have been a part of American Television since it's inception. I remember where a news caster or talk show host, etc, would say "this may be disturbing for sensitive viewers. And it takes two seconds, and costs nothing.
Do you honestly think that the Jedi Order would’ve let an even younger & less experienced Anakin try and find his mother? Plus, all the Jedi who could’ve found and retrieved her had the “forgoing attachments” mindset that the Order pushed, so they wouldn’t help Anakin either.
Vertrauen, ja? Sie sind gelangweilt und wollen mit vertauen spielen weil sie spielt und jetzt suchen sie einen Menschen der ihnen das besorgt. Und deswegen wird geredet und erklärt aber eigentlich sind sie wütend weil ich die ignoriere. 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😳
As someone with BPD and having watching the Anakin Skywalker BPD cinematherapy this just makes so much sense to me. Once she died, they all became nothing to him. They became less than animals and all he has was hate and an actual desire to hurt them and end them. He detached from any other emotion. They just stopped existing.
Usually when you say " _I feel_ " people respond with " _No one cares about your Feelings_ ".
Change your circle. That does not sound healthy. All my friends and family care how I feel.
Going to suggest that, in future, my therapists only ever talk to me in Yoda impressions or Star Wars noises. Thanks for the excellent demonstration.
Lot of people likes to call Padmé crazy for comforting him after he confesses he murdered the entire Tusken village. In the How It Should Have Ended series they even showed her slowly backing up, jump ship and leave the planet without Anakin, saying "no one in their right mind would stay around someone like that". My point has been for a long time that her reaction was perfect in the movie. That was what Anakin needed. Well, sure, it's easier to walk away than selflessly trying to help someone in their darkest hour. If it wasn't for Padmé, Anakin would have turned to the dark side right there. I also believe she could have prevented him turning if she was with Anakin in Palpatine's office. Padmé could have been a good therapist I think.
I agree with you. I also think, that if Jedi cared more about Anakin's wellbeing, he won't turn to the dark side. I thing, a huge problem with Jedi's culture is that they trying to meditate emotions away, rather than feeling them and dealing with them
Yes I feel like Anakin doesn't know how to control or even express his emotions for what they are, because of the Jedi Order. He's been taught ever since he's been a kid (full of traumas) that "you have to find balance" and la di da, and love everything because you have to feel empathy for every living being in order to want to be involved with their ways etc, etc. Yet no one ever faces or encourages Anakin to face the turmoil he feels inside of him. Except Padme, who loves him and cares for him and allows him to express his emotions: sure, at first it starts with him screaming in anger that he hates the sand people and such, but it also came, at the end, as tears, him finding comfort in her arms and allowing himself to feel the pain and the hurt and the sadness of losing his mother. So losing Padme to him, is even more than losing "the love of his life", he's losing his "emotional agency", like, "the right" to be Anakin and not just a Jedi. Because that's some level of understanding that Obi-Wan lacked too, contrary to, for example, Qui-Gon who was about to set Anakin off a different path that "the Jedi Order" and their vision of things (Dave Filoni says it quite right himself, that all alone Obi-Wan took upon himself to take care of Anakin but he was not ready: barely in the eyes of the Jedi Order, and not at all to "receive" a child like Anakin who was so... "angsty" to begin with- fatherless, a child raised into slavery, etc).
And that's why the love story between Anakin and Padme is so strong, despite some "toxic" aspects, like Anakin's weird obsession, it's because probably Padme has always been the one showing true, selfless and soft kindness towards Anakin (other than his mother). She cares about *him* - and she does not shy away from his flaws or even encourage him to burry said flaws or emotions. And I'm sure Obi-Wan did too and still does when he loses Anakin, but he's never been able or ALLOWED to show it (because of the Jedi teachings), contrary to Padme herself. Anakin's fear of losing Padme is as much about himself than it is about her, because his relationship with Padme also allowed Anakin to "deal" with his emotions and adress these things that have been denied from him for so many years with the Jedi Order.
And you know, that's what makes the sequels interesting in some aspects: I understand what TLJ (or even The Mandalorian/Book of Boba Fett) tried to accomplish with Luke, you know, him forsaking a lot of things - maybe even relationships, like with Leia and Han etc, etc? - in the name of "perpetuating the Jedi Order", and repeating this circle destroyed everything once again (for the same reasons, Ben Solo and Anakin having a looooot of parallels), to the point of him deciding to renounce everything and rejecting EVERYTHING about being a Jedi (I just don't like the execution of most of all of this). I just wish Luke's story would have been more than that, but hey that's my pov anyway. All in all, it boils down to the Jedi Order's stubborn "ignorance" of human emotions and human bonds, they neglected Anakin where Padme and Shmi were comfort figures for him, that's why losing them literally broke him and his whole identity (the symbolic going as far as Anakin losing his identity from a practical pov, his body, his face, and his own name).
@@MARYWTHER i love everything about your comment and i agree with every single detail! i don’t know if you have or not watched already but on cinema therapy they talk about anakin having borderline personality disorder wich basically is a disorder caused by the lack of emotional awareness and maturity duel to trauma and emotional neglect and how it affects your personality and i say it’s perfect because i do suffer from bpd and i relate with anakin in that aspect and everything you said is just on point! instead of “forget the pain of the past and love everything but not in a individual way” like the jedi told him to to do everything he need was someone who actually saw him as an individual with his pain and his flaws! someone who accepted him and comforted him but also educated him and that was padme! losing her was the end of him… it truly is toxic but is often common for people with bpd to hold on too tight to someone as their saviors, being obsessed or paranoid so imagine him thinking that she and obi-wan were betraying him! definitely the greatest emotional trigger after years bubbling everything up because of the jedi order… the recipe for a disaster
this isn’t the healthiest way to approach it, in my opinion. it isn’t, and should never be your significant other’s job to “fix” or “heal” you. they aren’t your therapist, and it shouldn’t be put on them to begin with.
She shows him sympathy and tells him "to be angry is to be human" but doesn't add "you need help". She essentially validates not just his feelings but also his actions. Now consider that Padme reciprocrates Anakin's romantic feelings shortly after this incident. Essentially she rewards him for mass murder! What if Padme was actually Palpatine's double agent, helping to stir up Anakin's negative emotions to help turn him to the dark side? It would also explain why the assassination attempts on her were so laughably inept, and why she made herself indispensible to the anti-war faction in the senate, then left Jar-Jar in charge during her absence.
Anakin: “I don’t like therapy. It’s coarse, and rough and irritating, and it gets in my brain. Not like murdering younglings…, killing younglings makes me feel soft and warm.”
Not exactly. When he was murdering the younglings, he was crying. However, he felt he had no choice if he wanted to protect Padme.
The line "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering" has been heavily criticized for being a gross oversimplification of how emotions work, but that was the point. The Jedi at that time were almost like Vulcans. They tried to brainwash younglings and Padawans into either not feeling any emotions at all or to keep them bottled up, which as we saw partially lead to their downfall. It's probable that even if Sidious hadn't taken over and executed Order 66, the Jedi Order would have collapsed from the inside due to their inability to cope with complex feelings and social situations in a healthy way.
Imagine if the other outcome was a Jedi Civil War instigated by Anakin even if the results can be potentially messier than the actual prequel/clone wars canon
Thank you for this analysis. Although Hayden Christensen got a lot of crap, he did an amazing job with the scrip that he had. If you had never watched the movies and you did without sound or subtitles, you can see exactly what emotions Anakin feels in every scene. That does take a lot of skill. Thank you for your videos ❤️
If the Star Wars universe had therapists Anakin could have been helped. Instead the Jedi Order just expected him to repress the grief for his mother's murder.
Many franchises (ESPECIALLY STAR WARS) really need a Jim Raynor. Jim Raynor is a Starcraft character who can have some therapist vibes and an over the top heart of gold despite the swearing and impulsiveness
Most of this galaxy's problems could probably be avoided if the Jedi didn't take children from their parents and force (pun intended) them to not get married and turn them into child soldiers. When Yoda said Luke was "too old" to complete the training in ESB, he was just trying to be difficult; I doubt it was originally written to mean "We didn't steal you from your parents as an infant, so get lost."
3:56 I'd argue that in that scene his facial expressions werent 'hollywood movie appropriate', meaning they didnt express the emotions in a way hollywood usually does.
However, i'd argue that he expressed those emotions in a very human way, not in a fake, glamorous movie way. THAT is exactly what an angry, distraught, heart broken person looks like. That is exactly it. Its not pretty, its not something that can be idolized, and it doesnt have the 'hollywood sheen' of shininess and polish on it. Its rough, its real.
And i really like that
Thank you for sharing. Anakin really does provide a lot of examples about how vulnerable emotions left unchecked can be damaging, especially to those we love. Thanks again
Thanks for the vid! I love Anakin. I relate a lot to him. I think a lot of what he is feeling here too is regret, and there is not much you can do about time lost and missed opportunities. "I'm here now” and then she dies, after they were finally reunited after years. To me, the entire prequel series is a cautionary tale about toxic masculinity, and things like how men or Jedi as a whole should not have attachments, or feel vulnerable, or feel scared, because they make them feel weak, so it makes sense that they would naturally default to something that makes them feel strong, even temporarily, like anger, cockiness, or stoicism. The Jedi were wrong.
The Jedi were so wrong. Not to mention, it never made sense to me why they wouldn't allow Anakin to see his mother. They knew that he had been separated from her at an age when he was old enough to remember her. What would it have hurt to let him stay in contact with her, or better yet, buy her out of slavery? Hell, Lars did it.
@@misspriss2482 Imagine if the other outcome was a Jedi Civil War instigated by Anakin even if the results can be potentially messier than the actual prequel/clone wars canon. Would the Jedi be wrong anyways?
Key Takeaways:
a) Listen to yourself, what is the issue? What are you really feeling?
b) What is your reason for choosing anger over the actual emotion? For what reason is it not an option to just go with your underlying emotion and e.g. just cry or grief or seek safety?
DBT has taught me a lot about this and man, this was some useful Stuff!
Thank you for the lesson, "Grover."
But seriously, I appreciate the caveat that there won't be a 100% success rate when you choose to be vulnerable. I don't really want to go into details, but recently I've had two separate experiences where my choice to be vulnerable during a confrontation just led to more bullying. Now, the good news is that I still know I made the right choice, and now I can feel confident (if not happy) about limiting those relationships in the future.
It's true, though, vulnerability still has a much higher success rate at repairing relationships than anger does. And I'm grateful for that.
Yes, anger builds walls, and breaks relationships. Vulnerability leads to trust, less barriers, and better communication.
As a counselor in training, a lifelong storyteller, and a MASSIVE Star Wars fan, I LOVE this!
I tell my kiddos that "anger is usually somebody's bodyguard." Anakin is such an amazing picture of that. A lot of people blame his stunted emotional expression abilities on the Jedi, but I heartily disagree with this. I believe a lot of his issues stem from black and white, all-or-nothing cognitive distortions and stuck point that arise from his trauma from being a slave on Tatooine. Anakin learned two responses during this time: either hide all of his emotions to protect himself or fly off the handle in anger to protect himself (case in point: lying to Yoda about his fear in TPM and fighting tiny Greedo in a deleted scene from TPM). He never quite understood that what the Jedi were looking for was processing and control, not complete repression.
Compare what we just saw above with some lines from the prequel films from other Jedi we love, Obi-Wan and Yoda, who were brought up in the Temple in a positive, supportive, trauma-free environment. Though their cultural values lead them to a lower level of expressed emotion (which is OKAY), this does not mean that those emotions go unexpressed and unprocessed, and the defense mechanism of anger is generally not present (generally. Obi-Wan can get frustrated at Anakin sometimes, God bless him):
"Skywalker is in pain, terrible pain." (sadness)
"Seeing you alive brings warm feelings to my heart." (relief and happiness)
"Begun, the Clone War has." (fear, with some acceptance and grief as well)
"You are strong and wise, Anakin, and I am very proud of you." (happiness)
"Use your feelings, Anakin, something is out of place!" (fear)
"Just try not to destroy all of the droids before I arrive." (playfulness, determination)
"You were my brother, Anakin! I loved you!" (GRIEF, despair)
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Anakin. He's like my problematic little brother. I'm a nineties baby, so the Prequels are my Star Wars, even if I know that objectively they're not as good as the OT. But the Jedi were ABSOLUTELY RIGHT about emotional control and the nature of fear and anger. Anakin can't wrap his mind around this due to preexisting faulty beliefs about himself, others, and the world that he won't deal with. This is very common with trauma, and I'm certainly not blaming Anakin, but in the end, we can all choose to run from the pain in our pasts, or to face it and learn from it. As a trauma survivor myself, I can tell you the latter is the much more healing, balanced option, even if it is one of the hardest things I've ever done.
Thank you so much for this, Jonathan, and may the Force be with you!
My father would yell and get angry so quickly at certain things. I then find myself doing it and I hate it. It hurts my relationship with my kids and after the anger is over I feel awful. I’m going to try and stay calm and express my feelings instead of lashing out. Thanks! I always love your videos
Pop Culture Detective pointed out something interesting in that the Jedi took Anakin away from his mother at a young age, and then dismissed his feelings of loss (as a child), and told him that his feelings were bad, and that his totally normal feelings would lead him to the dark side. Every time he expressed vulnerability he was told by the Jedi to just... Stop it. How fucked up is that?
True, whenever I feel angry it’s usually from sadness, fear, and grief etc. There’s always more layers to anger than just being angry.
Thank you for that important lassen! I tend to get angry when I am tired, I just struggle a lot more to keep my feelings under control.
Same!! When I'm really tired, overwhelmed, or any time when I'm emotionally drained, it's so hard for me to not get angry and lash out.
Thank you for sharing your insights. It is frustrating when you are brave enough to share your feelings and they are dismissed or trivialized. It makes it hard to keep wanting to share.
Yes, it can definitely make you want to share less when people dismiss or trivialize what you say! There may be people that will teach you not to talk with them about things that matter to you, because they just can't be trusted to take care of you, and they are disrespectful to you.
I don't think you're wrong, but the bigger issue behind Anakin's rage problem had to do with spending a decade in a strict religious sect that never encouraged him to embrace his emotions but instead suppress them. The one guy who would've probably been a good mentor for him (apologies to Obi-Wan) got killed when he hadn't even been admitted yet.
Obi-Wan's biggest problem is that he was too loyal to the Jedi Code and had restrictive thinking because of it. He couldn't understand why Anakin and Qui-Gon didn't just do as they were told by the Council, because, in his mind, the Jedi Code, and by extension, the Council, was infallible.
@@speedracer2008 So being way too loyel to the code inadbertedly murdered Satine huh?
Another possibility is ASD. Heavy fits of rage, awkward social skills ("Idon't like sand" "are you an angel") and a heavy interest in a particular subject; mechanics, which he was still into even as Vader.
I have to say I am like you for my love of Star Wars. I know they aren't all perfect but I still love it all!!
Something I've noticed about Anakin, is that many people have had an emotional similarity of Anakin/Vader.
From seeing this little boy who wants nothing but to simply help others, to a man who becomes the embodiment of fear to everyone, and caused by so much in between that time to beat that man down.
In my aikido lessons, we often did the “take a deep breath, focus on your body, focus on here and now, breathe out the excess emotion” thing while practicing a technique. I never realized how well I learned that and how extremely useful it was until I became a de facto parent. My kid is just a year old and he is having real trouble with keeping down his food; every meal is a major struggle and it has caused a lot of frustration. So many times a day, I go “breathe out, let out the anger”, because it’s so easy to be mad at the kid even when it’s 100% not his fault; it’s extremely frustrating and also scary because despite our best efforts, he’s really thin (after his checkup, the pediatrician finally agreed to have him tested for food allergies and such to rule out an underlying condition).
Anyway, with the Star Wars prequels, the Jedi and Anakin especially, I often wonder if they wrote it the way they did on purpose or if it was an accident? The Jedi teach Anakin to suppress emotion (or at least that is how he perceives their teachings in the movies), and that’s obviously a terrible idea which (combined with a lot of trauma and possibly an underlying mental condition) eventually leads to Vader. I want to believe this was Lucas’s intention (“don’t go suppressing your emotions, kids, rather learn to deal with them in a healthy way”), but given some of the interviews he gave, I have my doubts.
I think Lucas had some problematic views about emotions and how to handle them. He also justified dishonesty - remember Luke confronting Yoda about saying that Darth Vader had killed Luke's father and Yoda justifying the lie because in a sense it was true? As I see it, that's unforgiveable in a teacher/mentor/sensei; it's a fundamental breach of trust.
By the time of the final three movies Lucas seems to have come to terms with some of these things; those movies are much better at dealing with negative emotions. At that point we begin to see the mistakes Luke has made in his attempts to recreate the Jedi order, and we can see how they're the direct result of some of the toxic teachings he himself received from Yoda. The people who are truly coming up with solutions in those movies are Leia and Han, and they don't do it by lying, or telling people to deny their emotions. Nor do they assume that *anyone* is beyond redemption.
Thank you for the lightbulb moment - if i feel angry, I should ask myself what am I really feeling...so simple but so meaningful
This is how men handle grief in almost every movie. They're allowed to be sad for like 1 minute, shed a single tear, and then it turns to rage. Talk about classic toxic masculinity and why it's so terrifying for women to reject or upset men.
@TheLur Truth is that toxic masculinity exists, and I'm not even going to list the endless Wikipedia or Google Scholar clickthroughs you could do on your own, or the university library stuff you could freely browse. The violent outbursts it tends to cause, for whatever slight, is demonstrably channeled through mysogyny and femicide in a significant number of cases, which again you can look up the scholarly, scientific, medical and government policy numbers on. If you've trouble reading and factchecking academic theory or scientific studies, there's nice beginner level courses for that, a lot of them for free as well, and they can be useful elsewhere in life. So yeah "toxic masculinity" is a classic and yet also a true excuse for being afraid of interacting with men.
Please take a breath next time before calling someone "unbalanced" or "underdeveloped" with no clear or constructive explanation. And calling something "toxic masculinity" isn't violent anger, as you call it. Finally, "the severe mental issues and flawed character that actually create that kind of behavior" is exactly what's implied, but less harshly so, when calling someone's behavior "toxically masculine". But that's not a definitive persecution in any way. It's something you could take in and work on, you know, to make yourself a nicer person to more people. Anakin learned this stuff at the very end and was very nice about it.
@TheLur Also, I do agree that this video, and Anakin's story, isn't about him getting caught up in toxic masculinity culture per se. Or at least it's subtle about it. More overt is Anakin's having clear mental disorders and personal drama, not being listened to when he asks help, and then lashing out in violent delusion. Which does implicate his friendships', and the Jedi culture's toxicity, but that isn't so much gender-coded in these films.
@TheLur Yikes on several fucking bikes
So true. Unfortunately, expressing their emotions is something that most men are shamed out of at a young age. "Only girls cry!" "Suck it up; be a man." So instead of a man admitting that he feels hurt and/or unwanted when he's rejected, he allows those feelings to become anger. He then takes them out on the woman in question in an effort to make himself feel better and resume control.
@TheBlur I don't mean this in a dickish way, genuinely please get therapy. This isn't healthy.
Ya know, if the Jedi temple just taught Force healing, we could have avoided the whole thing. Well, that and healthy emotional expression and regulation.
Force healing actually wasn't supposed to be a thing. Would make plotlines too easy
05:12 - 05:22 That happens in English. In Italian we don't say:"I _feel_ like we should go out for pizza."we say:"I _think_ we should go out for pizza."or:"Why don't we go out for pizza?"or:"What do you say if we go out for pizza?"Stuff like that.
It would be easy for some people to say that Anakin is a Mamma's Boy, maybe they do but that's hardly the case. Until however old Anakin was when he left home & his mother to become a Jedi, she carried him, she gave birth, she raised him all by herself ( there was no father, she tells Qui-Gon ) so of course he's very close to her, knows that she sacrificed a lot for him ( probably ) & naturally he would do anything for her like even promising that he would return to Tatooine & free her one day. Plus not only was he the only kid who could Podrace but the only human who could do it too despite his mother's natural fears & disapproval of it.
Dude, your Star Wars videos really helped me to crawl out of very dark place!
Thank you very very much!
that yoda impression tho
To be fair, he and Yoda are both right. Fear does to the dark side, but that is mentioned because the council sensed fear in young Anakin. These other feelings like sadness, emotional damage, and helpless do lead to the dark side like mentioned in the video.
Currently, my anger is mostly at my health insurance and the mental health system for not really helping me enough, which is just kind of obviously vulnerability
"And maybe you haven't gone so big before-" He slaughtered an entire village, I would hope not! But seriously, this is excellent, thank you.
I don't fully agree with what you have to say about anger. There are times that expressing anger is the right thing to do. I went out with someone who every time I felt hurt, if I expressed it in a calm and reasoned manner, I was ignored and we would cycle back to the same situation at a later time. I don't express anger easily. It was not until I forced myself to get angry and express it that I was finally taken seriously. It is sad that I had to do that but it was more effective than the "serious talks" that were ultimately ignored. Expressing anger in the right way can be a good thing.
"Is that Yoda or Grover?" Both were voiced by Frank Oz, so... same difference.
Yoda is Grover with Force related emotional regulation techniques.
If you look close enough, it always ends up in fear...
feeling hurt, sad, hungry...
it's always fear in disguise...
if someone is calling me ugly, it's the fear of being separated, not being worth to be loved...
feeling sad can be the fear of loosing somebody or something...
not understanding and accepting that nothing is permanent...
feeling very very very hungry is the root fear of starve to death...
sure, if my girlfriend gets angry because of hunger, it's not because the fear of death :D
but because of that small hunger, she wouldn't kill somebody haha
but nevertheless, in the end it's fear which leads to suffering...
Holy crap 😱, that Yoda is impressive
5:54 Anger is just a bunch of other emotions in a trench coat
Fwiw, when I first shared one of your Cinema Therapy videos with my mom (we watch them together all the time now), one of the first things out of her mouth was "Oh, he's handsome!" So ur not ugly 😜
Seriously, he's such a cutie!
Thing is we are taught from a very young age that men can be angry, its ok to be mad and all, just don't be sad or cry
And women? They can cry and be sad and weak, but not mad and loud or agrassive. So imagine a woman in a place she cannot show how she feels, so she gets angry, but she can't show that either.
Sexism. So men can't cry when they're upset but girls can?
Is this why narcissists are the way they are? Are they always feeling one thing, but then acting with anger and blame?
What does it say about me that Anakin is my favorite character in the entire star wars franchise 😂. Him and Obi Wan ❤
Isn't it funny how you kinda hear things at rhe right time to kind of understand them properly? Cause of the week I had...my emotions went a way I was not expecting which was to anger. I had two boys that were ill and I had been unwell prior to that...and even though I'm a nurse and I know what to do...I was just tired and frustrated and worried about work. My poor partner kinda got snapped at a few times because all this hurt and worry I was feeling went to...anger and irritability. I basically just had to apologise and say 'I'm sorry. That was rude and you are doing a good job. I'm not upset at you I'm just really angry at the situation.' But I justified my anger to myself originally and in my head I was like 'oh. Of course. Everything up to me. I gotta think of everything cause I'm the nurse.' But...I'm usually the opposite. Sorry to kinda turn a but of a 180 but to share something...I had a bad experience with chronic bullying for about 5 years at the workplace. I'm out of that situation now but...it messed with me a bit but as much as I don't think bullying is at all 'character building' I did notice that if I see someone being hurt or belittled...(the feeling tends to get worse closer they are to me) I tend to get feelings of real anger...but to channel that and to handle my general anger i try to help them through it by using the tools I had to use to get though it....I have no idea if that's healthy or not but it does help manage general feelings of anger. But I find it weird that I didn't really feel angry when it happened to me. It was more of a feeling of hurt and 'I really want this to stop. Please stop'. I kinda got more angry at myself and thought 'ok don't cry. Don't show any emotion or you will lose credibility. Be better. Just get smarter. Stop flinching whenever they is near you. Why are you flinching? She shouldn't scare you. Don't show fear....she won't hurt you in a crowd..' ..I dunno it was weird. Anything but anger really. But then get furious when it happens to someone else. I dunno. Night time musings in weird ways I manage anger.
If you don't get angry at being bullied, are you used to standing up for yourself, or were you made the martyr or the scapegoat growing up? I have often found that people who don't get angry when they're mistreated are used to being treated that way and that's pretty sad. You are allowed to feel righteous anger when you get mistreated. You don't deserve it.
What about when people do something that’s obviously wrong. Like, if I see someone abuse their child, the feeling I feel is anger. I don’t feel sad; I feel angry. That’s the feeling. If someone steals from me, I’m not sad because my money is gone; I’m angry that I’ve been stolen from. Why can’t I express anger when I’m angry?
Been bingeing on Rick and Morty recently - you should analyse Rick Sanchez next
So how i manage anger is by getting to the root of my emotion, i ask myself why am i angry? Who am i actually mad at? Is there anything i can do to remedy the problem? Sometimes i am just mad because i am and i let myself feel it for a moment then i process it.
Hope you get this here is a physics and Star wars joke it goes "May The Mass Times Acceleration Be With You"
Everything you do is great. Ty
and thats coming from a Trekkie
Thank you!
Love it!
@@MendedLight I got a response!!! woot woot! :) maybe even an irl laugh ! Your information and advice has been important in my life. Even asked my soon to be wife to watch multiple of your videos. Its helped to explain my childhood trauma to her, and you have given me extra tools and ways of looking at things to progress towards feeling better. Just moved WA to NY (near Rochester) any chance you have therapist friends there? lol , that would be so cool
Grief loss self blame And can't understand why it happened. That he feels responsible for it not to mention because he left he feels that he did this to himself. That's what Anakin feels inside
They killed his mom, and the Jedi are just as much to blame as the sand people. And what, you thought they were just gonna let him go with the body in peace or let him cry? If it was me I'd done the same along with every other tusken camp on my way back. People are so quick to invalidate his anger/rage. People today get angry at a slight inconvenience, but you think people should just forget murder? Nah, they got what they deserved and the Jedi didn't get it soon enough.
Yeahhhh but don't you think this also inadvertedly caused any potential friendship with the mandalorians almost gone for good because of what Anakin did?? Because as it turned out in the early Mandalorian episodes bargaining with the Tuskens CAN be possible. Or are the mandalorians as guilty for never caring for the skywalker bloodline until it was way too late?
My biggest issue with the Jedi is that they don't address emotional issues, they just teach their students to effectively suppress them, which is just not healthy.
It works for them because they indoctrinate younglings so they're too emotionally stunted to act like normal people.
Admittedly, the Force amplifies emotion beyond what it normally would be, so there's a good reason why they suppress them, but I feel like it was doomed to failure.
The Sith have the opposite problem, in that they over-indulge their emotions, to the point of self destruction.
Sadly, only a handful of Star Wars media addresses this dual issue, but the mainline franchise likes to keep it more black and white.
This is once again so good!!
When i am Angry and i start talking about why, i Cry v:
Yay!! My birthday video!
But is anger ever useful? Perhaps it can give you the courage to stand up to someone being abusive?
Well why do you have not a star wars playlist it would make it quite easier
Wait.... Grover and Yoda were the same actor?????
Frank Oz.
RIGHT!!!????? Like how was that just glossed over lol
Also, Miss Piggy and Fozzie Bear.
He's Kermit too, and a lot of other muppets, both in voice and puppeteering. You can see him do the thing where he scrunches up the forehead and smushes the mouth, to imply the puppet's thinking, in exactly the same way with both Kermit and Yoda. That's apparently a high level puppeteering skill, to make those faces scrunch up when the puppet has thoughts or feelings, and he's one of the few that can do it.
@@michelottens6083 Kermit was actually played by Jim Henson, I think? At least originally.
Please please tell me you say pew pew pew in therapy sessions ….I’ll be angry if you say no 😜
You should analyze Couples Retreat
I am curious about the Jedi and their methods. How their way of letting go of everything they fear to loose... Like, is that healthy in any capacity? Or is it one of the flaws of the Jedi Order?
Like, sure, it worked for them for thousands of years, but could that be because of their kidnapping of children at an early age, teaching them to become Jedi and surpressing these emotions of fear and such? To have no attachement, and to be calm in the face of adversity. Is it healthy, or is it flawed?
Question - what is the purpose of anger then? Is it strictly a negative drag to us? Where did it come from? What would a positive (if such a thing exist) thing be that would come from anger?
I think anger can be protective. It can help us to not be abused, taken advantage of, or hurt. In ancient times it could be helpful for warfare and hunting. Today it's great for the gym. It's just information, it tells us that something's wrong. If we calm down we can ID the vulnerable underlying need and emotion and express that instead of the anger.
@@MendedLight Thanks!
Hey guys, I just have a quick question. How do you know you're getting upset and stop, before you explode and it's too late? Because I'm someone who gets angry really quickly and then explodes and says the worst stuff, because I am angry and want to hurt the person that made me angry. So, how do you know you're getting angry and should stop? Are there methods to help you know or is it just a thing you should naturally know and recognize?
Wait…Yoda and Grover were the same voice actor?
Have y'all done John wick yet?
Reaction to Obi wan soon? 😊
Will you therapize Daryl Dixon from Walking Dead?
can you do Lucifer (Netflix)? that would be interesting
What do you think about 'do or don't there's no try'? Does Yoda needs to get therapized ?
I HATE THEM!
do supernatural please... it's only 15 seasons
I am the 1 thousandth like!
😍😍😍😍
Thanks for being here!
I think you may want to put a content warning. Before showing a beat up, bloody, dying woman, since not everyone saw that movie?
Content warnings have been a part of American Television since it's inception.
I remember where a news caster or talk show host, etc, would say "this may be disturbing for sensitive viewers.
And it takes two seconds, and costs nothing.
One thing I don't get is.... You didn't care about your mom all this time?
Do you honestly think that the Jedi Order would’ve let an even younger & less experienced Anakin try and find his mother? Plus, all the Jedi who could’ve found and retrieved her had the “forgoing attachments” mindset that the Order pushed, so they wouldn’t help Anakin either.
You clearly haven't watched the movies
Vertrauen, ja?
Sie sind gelangweilt und wollen mit vertauen spielen weil sie spielt und jetzt suchen sie einen Menschen der ihnen das besorgt.
Und deswegen wird geredet und erklärt aber eigentlich sind sie wütend weil ich die ignoriere.
😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😳