The man who said that those seeking therapy are actually some of the strongest people really touched my heart. All my life I was never called strong but rather weak. Edit: It's happy yet sad at the same time that this comment resonated with so many people😥.But hey at least we all now know that we are not alone❤ Edit2:Hi,me again, I just wanted to thank you guys for all your words of encouragement, I'm now doing way better than before and moving on with my life. I really hope everyone of you is feeling way better now. Sorry if I'm making mistakes, I'm actually from a french speaking subsaharian african country (I'm not american), so english isn't my first language.
Beautiful Trauma I think he meant only strong do it because, you have to be strong enough to admit you have a problem you want to solve. I think I probably have depression, but I'm a coward and I fear going to teraphy because I fear that people will view me differently, or that they might think that just bcs I have depression I'm suicidal etc. I fear using ant depression pills bcs I fear becoming someone that's not me, someone I don't recognize. I don't want to be happy go lucky all the time, I fear that taking those pills might change me as a person. So in a way people that go to therapy and get help are strong bcs they overcome their fears in hopes of getting better. I hope that you overcome what ever you are dealing at the moment 😊
@@asobimo5532 I don't know you personally,but i don't think you're a coward.It takes courage to even admit that something might be wrong with you mentally.I'm currently antidepressants and believe it won't change who you really are.I completely understand the fear of your personnality changing.I feel the same.However leaving your possible depression untreated will change you. It's like all life will be sucked out of you.I understand to that going to therapy is intimidating.But maybe you won't even need antidepressants ?you can only be sure if you go right ? i'm sure you can one day find the courage to go to therapy.If you can't now it's okay.😊 Thank you a lot I wish you the best too.😄
It's true for every person who has the strength to face and try to defeat an embarrassing problem they have. The moment you tackle the problem is the moment when you acquire confidence in yourself and what you are, both good and bad aspects. As Tyrion Lannister once tells Jon Snow: "Never forget what you are, the rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor and it can never be used to hurt you." This quote is not 100% truth in our reality, but you get the point :)
I really don't like complementing myself because it feels like a cope out of responsibility. Like why should I feel proud of myself for doing something that should be so basic? But, there have been times where I have completely shot past others my work ethic and I know what life is supposed to be like, and it's not supposed to be this hard to keep living. So, Yeah, it's like I have crippled a part of me and I just need help so that I can get back to running at full capacity. Cause who knows what you could accomplish when you're ACTUALLY in control? (You can always do things to improve but sometimes mental illness can really pull you down despite everything) Idk, that's just my inspiration for getting better.
When I found out when you feel hungry most people just go and eat, like when you need a wee you just go for a wee. I was 1, shocked at myself and 2, couldn't actually think of what hunger is
One of the strangest feelings I’ve had is not wanting to do something I know I will enjoy. I don’t think people who haven’t experienced it can understand.
@@AinAdventures I was seeing a new primary care physician and he asked me if I was depressed. I had never sought help, because I was embarrassed. I teared up and said yes. He prescribed bupropion and I’ve been slowly returning to myself since.
I don't think that women have a greater tendency to become depressed. But I do think that women have a greater tendency to REPORT the fact that they are depressed. A lot of men are still ashamed to talk about their emotions or seek mental help, so their depression go undetected and they might act out violently or in a self-destructive way as it gets worse.
You can check the suicide rate and that cam somehow help imagine the situation. Men commit suicide more than women, I don't remember the exact percentages but you can check it at the WHO page.
@Antônio M Women are so lucky in that area, we are always encouraged and comforted when showing emotions whereas men tend to be shamed and told to 'man up'. Really, toxic masculinity probably kill some you really slowly.
@@bethmckitrick417 Well being gay has been shown in many animals besides humans, it is shown by phycologists to be natural, and some straight people (quite a LOT actually) would rather have careers and be free rather then be tied down by a child. Also just because I'm gay doesn't mean I don't want children. If anything gays are NEEDED because there's THOUSANDS of poor children DREAMING of having a home, but since most fertile straight couples would rather have a biological baby, not many children get adopted as we'd hoped.
I'm a psychologist. It bothers me a lot that psychological terms have made it to popular culture, and that's been happening for decades, for example the word idiot or histerical. Lately, it's OCD, or PTSD. I'm not a native English speaker and I can't judge, but same might be happening around anxiety (which is indeed not the same as stress or being nervous or afraid). It's dangerous because it invalidates people with mental disorders. I'd be happy if people at least understood the definition of mental disorder, which is, "(...) These symptoms must cause the individual clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning". If whatever you are experiencing doesn't fit with that, then you cannot use a clinical term for it. You're not depressed, you're sad/down. You don't have OCD, you just like to organise/clean.
@finalfantasy8911 Do you really expect any mental health worker to just go out and treat random people on the street. These people are not miracle workers, they need the patients to come and ask for help (or present to a hospital). Only those that make a choice can be treated unless deemed a danger (though that takes time and the patient usually needs to have already presented as being dangerous). Unless this school shooter was under treatment (even if he was it doesn't mean it could have been prevented) and the health worker was able to establish them being unstable or a danger, there is nothing that can be done.
@finalfantasy8911 You aren't even a therapist so you don't even understand or know what you are talking about. You just sound like a pissed off uneducated moron. You can't help people who don't want help. That is reality. You can go ahead and force people to thearpy but that doesn't mean they will show up to therapy or talk in therapy or that it will work for them. You can prescribe medication but that doesn't mean they will take it. I used to go to therapy because I was forced to and forced to take medication. I never took the medication, I never talked in therapy and then ghosted my therapist. I just recently decided to go back to therapy but I don't even talk about what I really want to. I was told that I need medication but I won't do it. Their only so much a therapist can do to get me to talk & take medication they cannot legally make me unless they send me to the hosptial. Therapist jobs aren't to solve your problems it to help you learn a way to solve your own problems, to teach you how to cope with your future issues and understand why you are feeling the way you are. They aren't miracle workers. They don't know who has issues or not so to go say they should be doing this or that is stupid because they don't know who needs help or not unless that person gets help or is forced to get help by someone else. Go after family, friends, schools, cops, government, etc. that knew something was wrong but didn't do anything to get that person help. Therapist do what ever they can to help people and spread the word but you can't force anyone into it. Therapist can't look at a person and be like he will be a future mass murder or he is going to kill himself so I should force him into therapy. Reality they can't even prevent things because government, healthcare, and that person who needs help are what gets in the way from them helping. As I said, YOU CANNOT FORCE PEOPLE INTO THERAPY AND YOU CANNOT HELP THEM WHEN THEY DON'T WANT IT. The real fault is everyone else who didn't pay enough attention to that person and not getting them help. The only idiot I see is you.
@finalfantasy8911 Okaaay, do you have the magical solution that will somehow extract all the ted bundies of the world to step forth and proclaim their desire for mental rehabilitation? I'm guessing no. And the practise you're talking about is *research* Therapists do therapy to treat individuals, kinda like doctors. You don't talk shit about doctors because there are people dying of malaria. Why don't they stop malaria?! Answer: 1. People are always researching methods of treatment and 2. it's not a freakin' easy thing to do; otherwise it would have already been done. If you are genuinely this damn upset about it; try and solve all mental illnesses yourself and see how far you get. Best of luck.
The problem is that people often aren't compassionate enough to care about 'clinically insignificant' mental discomfort such as sadness or stress. If these were taken seriously and properly comforted/remedied, people wouldn't feel so desperate to get validated clinically.
@finalfantasy8911 Thats a stupid accusation and analogy. Its like blaming a doctor when a person in the street got sick bcs the doctor did not got to that person and its NOT any doctors fault. Omg ppl these days. 💁🙄
Finally. Someone said it. Sometimes you do feel relief when someone passes who you had an awful relationship with. I think more people need to hear that than "you're going to regret not making up with X before they die."
My grandma was a great woman with a great sense of humor, but she brooked no nonsense. She had a long hospice -months -before she died. At one point, I was upset at the fact she had tubes in every orifice it seemed, and though my Aunt told me all was well with her, from her description of my grandma I could tell she wasn't doing well. I'm a biologist with a lot of medical knowledge. I knew she was lying. And in frustration I said, "Why doesn't she die, already!" and I regretted it. But I didn't regret her passing. We had a full relationship, and it was time to move on. It was alright.
I don't know it's kind of selfish. You might not like them but they have their own Lifeforce. So they only exist as to how they affect your life?. You're the narcissist by the way
@@ginnyjollykidd I totally understand that weird sense of relief when someone who you love and who was declining for a while finally dies. I felt it when my grandpa who had Alzheimer's died. He was basically gone already anyway, and it was so horrible how you can see he was suffering and before he became bed ridden, he would cry I think because he was sad and frustrated not being able to process thoughts and memories. It sounds awful, but I wish he would have passed a bit sooner, before he got so bad. It would have saved him a lot of pain and suffering.
Can we talk about "thinking positive will cure you". I have a physical disability, and because of that I was diagnosed with depression. People continue to tell me "if you just think positively you won't need medication. You're just sad." Yes. I am mourning my former self, and I do get sad. But I'm not "just sad". People don't take mental health issues seriously because the terms are part of pop culture and regular speech. Also, if you need help and can't afford therapy, there are student therapists that work for lower rates.
I'm battling cancer and was told I have "situational depression". I think it's bullshit! I'm dealing with a disease that could kill me. It's just a way to get me to take more pills. I've had pain so bad, it's enough to want to die!!! They don't seem to understand about cancer and how it f*cks up your life!!!!!
@Anne-Lou Oh man that sounds hard. I can only relate a tiny, tiny little bit because I'm also very sensitive to loud or high-pitched noises, feels like getting stabbed in the chest. And I also sometimes have trouble keeping up with conversations or even making out what people are saying in crowded environments, because noise is just SO distracting for me. But what you're going through sounds much worse. I think you can only be as empathetic and understanding towards yourself as possible, given that most other people lack the capacity and education to relate to your experience. Give yourself time and space to process things, don't agree to do things you don't really want to do, and don't hesitate to remove yourself from environments that are causing you suffering. Shit now I'm handing out unsolicited advice again, sorry 😄 You know what's best for you. About the "depression": I don't know the details of the situation. But if it really is depression and not just a normal grieving process, it's paramount to treat it as quickly as possible before it totally starts to spiral and incapacitate you even further.
"Thinking positively" has become such a cliché that it has really lost all the meaning it once might have had. I prefer "focusing on what you want". Once you've accepted the situation and all its ramifications (because a lot of what people group under "positive thinking" is actually just resisting the situation at hand and wishing things were differently), you can ask yourself: "Given that this is the situation, how can I live the best life possible for me?" or sth like that. Because it is true that chronically focusing on what you DON'T want (aka resistance) will do two things: 1. Increase the likelihood of you actually getting what you don't want and 2. Make you feel bad. The problem with this is that for nearly everybody on the planet that isn't engaged in some form of serious mindfulness practice, 99+ percent of this focusing process happens automatically and unconsciously.
I'm in school for mental health counseling and my prof. shared this with me, thought it was pretty neat surrounding that idea where if you just think positively then it's all okay. But that's just hiding the issue. upliftconnect.com/the-myth-of-positivity/
I thought that "situational depression" was just the term for feelings of depression that are caused by your situation (in other words, an appropriate, healthy response to something like cancer), as opposed to "clinical depression," which is diagnosed as a mental illness. But I'm not an expert.
I always told myself that I wouldn’t go and tell a stranger about my personal problems, and then my anxiety relapsed and debilitated me back in April. I now go to a therapist and it has helped me get my life back and learn how to tackle my anxiety and panic. You aren’t weak for going to therapy, you are strong for accepting something is wrong and wanting to change and fix it.
Sometimes it's a long road to get there, and as you mentioned relapses can come from an unknown trigger. Counseling/therapy does help, even if it just someone to confide with.
I go to a therapist for my ADHD and I am not ashamed about it. It's much better to get help from other people than just letting it hurt your life. I am very happy to know that you are making the right decisions and making sure that you get the help needed for you.
Me and my therapist both have issues so we discuss them. Well...I have issues and my therapist used to have issues. I have anxiety (mainly social, but a good helping of the others) and he used to have depression. Oh also, whenever I feel especially down or I need to take a minute to calm down we play board games. He's a very nice AND extremely good therapist.
I had a BetterHelp therapist tell me there’s 5 stages of grief and I couldn’t figure out which one I was in cause I didn’t fit in any category. Hearing that it’s a myth is such a relief. I thought I wasn’t normal for feeling different about my fathers death.
The same thing with me. I didn't resonate completely with the each and every 5 stages of grief. More over, I was going through "the 5 stages of grief" in a chaotic disorganized order with my break up
@@theyopo3426 imagine going to a car mechanic asking for new tires. And instead they just ignore you the entire time and they give you an air freshener
bad parenting *can* cause mental illness in a child but as we grow older we cannot use that for others to accept our bad habits or actions. The psychologist should've been more clear... As kids we don't know our parents are harming us emotionally until we get older and it does take a couple of years to heal from the mental abuse. I'd rather have less questions in a video if they go into detail about the question. He answered it in 20 seconds and made it seem like parents didn't mean abuse you mentally/emotionally. Insider should be more careful on how questions like this are answered- one day the wrong person will see a video like this and will justify a wrong doing.
100% agree. One of the main things that irritated me about this video. If anyone is out there feeling like their mental illness is due to their parents, YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID!! Bad parents can 100% be responsible for their children's mental health issues.
He's refering to the Biopsychosocial model (4p factor model too) which specifies that there must be multiple reasons for a mental disorder to occur. A traumatic event (social factor) must also be coupled with biological and/or psychological factor to spur a mental disorder. This is why not everyone who suffers a traumatic event will experience a mental disorder.
I was searching the comments for someone else who was bothered by this answer too. I feel like he didn't acknowledge the fact that the stressor has to be present to "cause" mental illness in some people, and that stressor can indeed be parents through neglect, harmful discipline, abuse both emotional and physical, or a plethora of other things that can affect a child.
I love how he said "the people who are ready to look at themselves" are strong. And I love how they confirmed that everybody handles grief differently, and you shouldn't be shamed for _not_ being devastated over something. Somehow this little video helped me a lot to just go on today, thank you for sharing the knowledge!
@@nolongerjuicyboiz4413 For me it's more along the lines of not losing your spirit and generally jolly self. You know just because you lost somebody or something, other people will expect you to act all gloom and doom or they will judge you for 'not even grieving'. And that's not always the case
I wished they talked about the spectrum (Autism, Tourettes, ADHD, Aspergers etc) there are SO many myths about it! As someone with Aspergers and my friends have variety of the spectrum.
@@KallieMae they are related but you can have ADHD and Tourette's without being autistic (at least i think i'm remembering correctly). they have some things in common so videos that go over autism can possibly give you some insight on how neurodivergent things affect people. I think all three of these things fall on a spectrum (Tics and characteristics from being neurodivergent can go from almost unnoticeable to severe and very noticeable)
6:56. Actually, yes, bad parenting _can_ cause Mental illnesses like Depression and Anxiety. Comparing a child to other children, making a child feel bad for natural things like crying and being sad, making a child feel like they can't ever say no, helicopter parenting, and many other things can make a child anxious, depressed, or insecure due to bad parenting.
I legit have PTSD and a myriad of other diagnoses from childhood abuse and grooming and literally all my mental illnesses have come from my parents and family abusing me. I was told this by my therapist after intense therapy. I have nothing nice to say about that man.
I'm just gonna reply to myself here and say that after thinking about it a little bit, I think he was trying to say that bad parenting isn't THE ONE AND ONLY cause for mental disorders. However he should have worded it better because clearly I wasn't the only one that was upset by the way he said it.
I'm a psychology student and I just lost my mom to covid. I agree with them. I feel relived that she passed away. The pain I saw her in is something which still haunts me when I'm alone in my thoughts and I can't even imagine how she would have lived with the way she was affected by the virus. But so many people say "oh you're not crying" "Oh such a strong girl who doesn't cry at her mothers death" No that's not true. I'm devasted to have lost my best friend of a mother. But I'm happy too. I'm happy she's past the pain and hopefully living a smashing afterlife up there. Losing a mother isn't easy, especially so suddenly and when you have such a strong bond with her. But it's important to let go when you see your loved one in pain. And rather than crying, it makes you happy that your loved one isn't in any pain anymore. And that doesn't mean you're not bothered or you're "strong" or anything. It's just a way of coping with death, especially death of your loved one. It's your love which makes you happy and relived, not sad and gloomy. And as Vision once said "What is grief if not love persevering?" (Though I do still understand those who cry in such situation. Their emotions are as valid as mine, it's just a difference in the way you accept death)
I wish my parents can understand that therapy is not a paid friend. Edit: y’all stop contacting me about this comment. Literally made it a year ago and forgotten about it
@@jerrybrown1446 some of my friends are very supportive and we are very open about our issues and emotions. Maybe i would trade 9 regular friends for a good therapist and him. :D
@@girlofthealpines Right. Each illness is different. If they had said 'environmental factors play a lesser or unknown role in certain mental illnesses and parental neglect and abuse can determine or cause mental illness in other cases', they would have been correct. They didn't. They claimed parenting does not cause mental illness, which is false.
Bad parenting is different from childhood trauma from the result of abusive/neglectful parenting though. Ongoing trauma is more likely to result in C-PTSD than ptsd anyway.
@@girlofthealpines if we're only talking about illnesses like schiophrenia and bipolar that you're born with, then they wouldn't have been talking about depression. In reality, depression, ptsd, schizophrenia, and bipolar are all mental illnesses. It's not useful to delineate like that unless we're talking about something specific
I would like to point out that “bad parenting” can, indeed, cause mental illness. It’s not a secret that childhood trauma, especially trauma caused by parental figures, can alter the actual structure and function of the brain; during development and then presenting throughout the rest of your life, if not addressed. It literally alters your perception of everything; you’re basically indoctrinated by abuse/neglect. This is one of the reasons I actually developed PTSD and OCD - I’ve experienced mental/emotional, physical, and sexual abuse from my parental figures and I know I’m not alone in these experiences. I think it was quite shifty to just casually gloss over the reality of bad parenting and not elaborate on such an important/serious topic.
That wasn't his point though, and it's pretty easy to differentiate what he was talking about... The myth is that any/all poor parenting decisions are GOING to cause mental illness in the children... NOT that it's impossible to get mental illness from sufficient abuse out of parents... Yeah, sometimes there's only the kind of damage a parent (or two) can do to the child... and nothing else in the world could possibly f*** someone up so bad... BUT my mom broke a brand new Reebok tennis shoe across my ass... among many things casually yanked into repurpose as a whooping instrument, from ping-pong paddles to belts... There was yelling and swearing at each other between her and me... occasional outright explosions in public... BUT I'm not bad off. I do pretty well in society. I may have joined the Navy specifically TO GET AWAY at the time... BUT I grew up fine. I've held jobs, worked independently, and even now do quite well. I'm fiercely independent and capable of withholding a temperamental outburst (usually) until I "cool off" enough to respond to a conversational point rather than spew filth and rage at someone... I'm not afraid all the time, and in point of fact, ride a motorcycle and even manage to get along well in traffic... hot or cold, doesn't matter... I can laugh at myself riding into a rainstorm and having forgotten my wet-gear at the house... "Yup... another of life's little tragedies..." whatever. Now, most people seem to take personal offense or slump into bouts of depression or even blubbering when I share stories of my youth... I laugh about it. We carried on... but before she passed, I told her she'd made me the man I am... AND I didn't figure she'd done a bad job of it... She told me I was one of the two best things she ever did... My brother is the other... and I managed to get him into town one last time to hear that... SO no... Bad parenting decisions (because, obviously her paradigm was less than stellar... not gonna lie) do NOT necessarily cause mental illness. There are other factors to consider... As he said, if all you're going to do is b*tch and whine about how bad you had it growing up... you can't change a thing about that... It's processing through it to get to what you HAVE now... what did the trauma and scars and all of it leave you with today... and what can you do with it to move forward.... THAT is still on you. Seriously, not trying to pick a fight here... BUT you just missed his point. I'm living proof of it. You CAN come to a place and shrug it off... ;o)
It agree. It also bothered me that he talked about parental guilt. There are so many who have zero guilt. There are a lot of narcissistic parents out there that get very angry and defensive and will always invalidate the person they neglected and abused. And the invalidation in itself is abusive. Boy, this video has me so triggered right now. lol
Very true I had an abusive narcissistic mother as a child. I have C-PTSD, OCD, anxiety disorder, depression and many other issues thanks to it. Unfortunately some of the things she subjected me to qualify as crimes against humanity by the definition of it. The USA government believed her lies and ruled in absolutes that I be punished indefinitely for life. So I'm a prisoner of my past until the day I die. I don't have any choice, nothing I ever do will change it thanks to the dogma of the USA. The fact the government was deceived by my narcissist mother. Every single conscious moment is both painful, and debilitating to me for the rest of my life. It honestly hurts more to know how powerless I am to alter such a fate. Despite I haven't really done anything wrong just got dealt a very poor hand for parents in reality. Being born to a narcissist is a fate worse than death, or nigh any other for that matter. Few people would believe the horror stories children of narcissists have experienced first hand.
@@gnarthdarkanen7464 Its semantics...essentially you're saying your mom *wasn't* a bad parent. She just used physical discipline, which could be a bad decision. Often minor physical abuse is mitigated by a combo of structure and genuine affection. A child who also gets alot of love, but is disciplinary spanked on a fleshy area, especially if the parent isn't motivated by emotion nor arbitrary, will often be fine. One of the reasons minor physical discipline is frowned upon is it allowed us to normalize those who lashed out physically in personal anger at people over whom they have tremendous emotional, physical and legal power. I'm guessing it's affected you less negatively because her intent wasn't malevolent, she made you feel genuinely loved, and you sense she was honestly trying her best. That's a categorically different experience than what the Commenter is bringing up.
I felt so guilty when I was somewhat relieved my grandmother died! She was just so unhappy towards the end of her life. Of course I was saddened. She helped raise me. But she had been ready to go for a long time.
Yeah same with my grandma as well. She was paralyzed and had dementia. She thought I was my mom. But I think she's happier after passing yet I miss her I was so conflicted
When my grandmother died, I felt the same, and I felt so guilty, but the thing that relieved me was thinking that since I was going through that pain in that moment, I wouldn't have to go through it later, especially because in the last period she was ill and i was very anxious of when she would die because i I didnt know how to face something like that
Kind of a similar thing with my mom actually. She had been terminal with lymphoma for a year or two before she died. We had to move to a different city for her treatment, we never knew when to expect good or bad news, we couldn’t travel at all... My Dad barely even had time to work since he was jumping between going to see mom, taking care of my brother and I, and doing daily chore type stuff. I felt pretty bad (and still do to an extent) that I felt relieved when she was gone. We were free though, for the first time in years.
Oliver Berner I’m sure almost everyone loves their parents in one way or another. We can show our parents and those we love our appreciation, but often things are left unsaid because they may die unexpectedly. The best we can do is deal with our grief, let ourselves feel the often overwhelming feelings in whichever way suits us- it may involve writing letters to our loved one, forgiving them and ourselves, rethinking our view on life and it’s frailty- it’s different for everyone. Whatever we choose and whatever path is best for us, it involves making peace with what has happened. This isn’t a bad thing- it’s freeing and allows us to spread joy while we ourselves are alive, as our loved ones would want us to.
My parents actually were the main cause of my mental health issues. After hitting a wall with treatment I was finally diagnosed with PTSD and got the help I needed. I always thought it was my fault I was sick, but it wasn't.
I have a friend who I love with all my heart, but she does this all the time. I feel bad not letting her know it upsets me. Is there any way to politely tell her off?
Although it’s annoying try and understand that it isn’t their fault for making that mistake as they were probably not made aware as they are not educated properly about what ocd truly is and that I blame the education system for not teaching about mental disorders
I say that sometimes as a coping mechanism though, when I get really frustrated with it. Idk if it's actually helpful or just selfharm haha. But when thinking about it, saying "I'm so ocd" has almost become a compulsion. So there is that lol..
I’m really glad she mentioned the word rumination because that’s what I was suffering from for years from junior year of highschool to my second year of college. I used to ruminate about how bad I was at swim team for the longest time and I use to open up to people about it and no one seemed to understand me. I only found out about rumination a couple months after my depression ended and my therapist never mentioned it!
I have never heard that word used in any psychological way, what you most likely have heard is 'thinking over and over about a particular thing or situation'.
Wow, as an Italian therapist I have to say that some of these "popular myths" actually imply a level of psychological culture in the general population that is beyond imagination here in Italy at the moment. Maybe it's also because clinical practice itself tends to put much less emphasis on diagnostic labels than in the USA culture (and I think this is not a bad thing itself), a lot of people have never heard about "OCD" or "Myers Briggs" at all, they just think therapy is for weak crazy wrecks who enjoy paying a scammer for not doing anything or for manipulating them, and they morally despise both therapists and their clients. The difference between psychologist, psychiatrist and all those pseudo-professionals who pose as therapists after a year of weird seminars with exotic-sounding names is unknown, with obviously harmful outcomes on people's health and chances to get proper treatment. Still a long way to go, but each time a new client says "I used to think I would never come to therapy but XY told me about their experience", or I bump into a young client on the street and they greet me and go "that's my therapist!" to their friend, I feel there is hope.
Omg the ocd misconceptions piss me off! I have ocd and I am NOT clean at all, my ocd is like I have to do certain rituals or bad things will happen, like I have to check the door to see if it’s locked 3 times and if I don’t I sont sleep. If I don’t tell my family drive safe before they leave the house then they will like get in a crash BECAUSE I didn’t say that. So it’s kinda illogical but it’s real and really annoying. Does anyone else with ocd have similar obsessions?
exactly being clean because you like it is being a perfectionist it ocd someone with ocd has to do ritual cleaning otherwise they feel someone might die because they didn't clean something properly and ocd isn't just about cleaning it could be related to just intrusive thoughts
yep.. i can't say whether it's ocd for me though. but getting out of the habit of having to check things so many times without feeling anxious is so bloody hard though.
Random xx yes, my brother has OCD too and has germaphobia, so he’s like actually afraid of being dirty and he washes his hands every time he touches anything, even tables or countertops. I think the rule is it has to negatively affect your life in a big way.
Bad parenting can definitely cause mental illness! Often extensive appropriate therapy is needed to process early schemas formed through an unhealthy parent-child relationship. Its not necessarily deliberate bad parenting, just human error... doesn't mean it doesn't have an effect.
He's refering to the Biopsychosocial model (4p factor model too) which specifies that there must be multiple reasons for a mental disorder to occur. A traumatic event (social factor) must also be coupled with biological and/or psychological factor to spur a mental disorder. This is why not everyone who suffers a traumatic event will experience a mental disorder.
Ava Martin I don’t think they meant that all people with mental illness had bad parents, i think they mean that people with bad parents are likely to cause mental illness in their kids.
I disagree with this video when he said that bad parenting doesn't cause mental illnesses. People suffer for their entire lives from the scars given to them by their parents, and they become incapable of having healthy relationships because they never had one with their parents. Good parenting is extremely important, and I wish more and more people would realise that. Maybe that doctor has met an increasing number of parents ready to take responsibility (which is good), otherwise there are so many awful parents out there who are shameless about the kind of abuse they do to their children.
@@stevechrollo8074 so are you indirectly saying that what I am saying is not true? Also, I am not saying I know more than a doctor. Science is always changing. A few years later you’ll find these same ‘experts’ saying something else.
@@ananya.a04 It’s been a year, and they are disproving you (uneducated in psychology) with the same points with actual countless of studies and in field experience within therapy, which again you are limited in. Again, the argument that is “science is always changing” is a bad and arbitrary one that can be made against any scientific claim (could be an argument against proving a round earth), and that’s what makes it erroneous. There are a lot of findings in psychology that are less likely to change, that parents definitely dont cause mental illness is one of them
@@stevechrollo8074 are you kidding me? Bad parenting is one of the biggest cause of psychological disorders in children. Even if we ignore the disposition of certain disorders that children inherit from their parents, the abuse and pressure they inflict on their children messes them up pretty bad and pushes them towards many mental illnesses. I’m not talking about basic facts that had been known beforehand and got repackaged and sold again in the name of science. I’ll even give you examples if you want. Science is ever changing due to its very nature; it is incomplete. Despite all the money and efforts put in since its beginning, western science is no closer to understanding the true nature of everything.
@@ananya.a04 There’s no good evidence backed by a good psychology journal to suggest your claim of a causal relationship (correlation isnt causation). Just because abused children are more likely to develop mental illnesses doesnt suggest that that itself or in combination CAUSES it. It seems like you have a hard time understanding causal relationships and how it differs from correltaion. You will probably link to me some correlation studies that dont have a real treatment or control group, and say look it causes it when it’s really correlation, and the author mentions it up front Literally you are disagreeing with an expert in that video. You need to really reevaluate your knowledge or lack of
luis arroyo and I learned that in a psychology class! I remember very well listing these in my exam paper! Maybe they should say, new research says... not just call it a myth, we didn’t come with these stages, “they” taught us
i definitely do not believe it’s a myth. it’s real. it happens. that’s how our brain processes grief of ANY kind. it goes in different orders. if it was fake it wouldn’t be in college education
Thank you! When I was first diagnosed with an anxiety/depressive disorder, I told my family, and many of them were like, "You don't need treatment, everyone gets stressed, you just have to deal with it." I tried to explain the difference, but one thing I've learned is that explaining the feelings of mood disorders to someone who'd never experienced it is utterly impossible. They just have no reference frame to understand it, and when they try to apply it to their own experiences, they come up with "just stress" or "just fear" or "stop choosing to think about these things". The feeling that I'm sometimes not in control of my own thoughts is the most terrifying thing in the world, and it's also the part no one ever seems to understand. Just because I'm depressed doesn't mean I'm not capable of joy. I have good days and bad days, and sometimes good hours and bad hours within a single day. But the key is that the moments of joy are fleeting, and at some point there is always a return to emptiness. To be honest, I think the intrusive thoughts when I'm having a depressive episode are worse than my usual anxious thoughts. I guess I've learned to cope, for the most part, with "what if I get fired? What if they're late because they got into an accident?" But the depressing thoughts... "I'm going to die alone, and I deserve it, because I wouldn't even want to care about me so why would anyone else? I'm a terrible person. I don't deserve love, and everyone who claims to love me MUST be lying out of politeness or pity." Those thoughts are the worst, and I don't know how to convince myself they're not true. Usually they're just kind of... there, at the back of my mind. And the very fact that I HAVE these thoughts makes me feel less worthy. But some days, when I'm in the middle of an episode, the thoughts come to the forefront, and churn and churn and chip away at me, until I'm literally in the fetal position in bed using all my strength to stop from weeping. So it's more of a dull self-loathing/self-esteem problem most of the time, while only occasionally getting to the point of staying in bed and not eating all day and maybe crying.
I totally agree with your first part. I used to have those similar thoughts when I was a teenager, I was naive and inexperienced. My depression and bipolar is so ingrained in my personality and life now that I've gone beyond the typical normal persona and have ruminated so deeply that I'm now totally past the usual hopelessness and worthless feelings. I've attempted suicide and been in deep suicidal rabbit holes that lasted for many, many years. For 20 years I've been dealing with bipolar depression, on and off of course. I never have those thoughts of love lacking or being a horrible person, I could care less. I hate people, I hate humanity SO much, I don't give a damn of what other people think of me. My concerns are more about being a burden because I'm mentally disabled and unable to work, and the worries of my future. I'd kill myself just so I don't have to worry about money and stability anymore, it's all about survival at this point for me. I feel like I'm so far gone and past the usual depressive thoughts most people have, I just can't even relate to other depressed/bipolar people, but I'm a misanthrope and I have other heavy opinions and worldviews. I'm also an antinatalist and an atheist, so I'd just love it if I could get free euthanasia, that'd be my dream come true. No matter how happy or content I am or could be, I will always be suicidal and wanting to die, I just cannot stand this world and this species.
Not everyone wants to be dependent on drugs that don't even prevent any serious diseases as oral microbial attacks. The psyche has a subjective existence, therefore its contents are also has spiritual experience and so you can do reach other ways of improving your psychological well-being through therapeutic psychosocial disciplines such as meditation, Yoga, Tai chi, etc. that involves communal activities that would purify/heal your soul positively while making some friends along the way.
depression is more like being empty inside rather than being sad, that's why so many people turn to pain because it lets you feel something. I would not recommend hurting yourself, get help if you're depressed because most likely it will help but if you do need that sting just take a rubber band or a hair tie around your wrist and pull so it snaps back. it's better than giving yourself scars or torturing yourself mentally, like I did, just to feel that sweet and sour taste of pain that becomes your comfort in many ways, like drugs. but please do get help if you need to and surround yourself with people who will love and care for you. you don't need people who make you doubt if you're just being overdramatic or whatever, you don' have to put up with those people even if they are your family. if you can get yourself to a good place and have loving people around you then you can try to make those people understand what you're going through because they will see what kind of person you were before and they'll see how much happier and content you are when you get to that good place. there's always ups and downs but you can always improve the foundation. Edit: about a year after commenting this I'd like to add that please don't shy away from therapy and/or meds if you can get them and you're doctor thinks it's a good match for you. With meds you'll most likely have to try a few before something sticks or eventually always change them or up the dose (as the case is with me). It's not always easy and it's no miracle pill that'll fix all problems but it can be the difference between being able to take a shower or getting too close to the edge, especially if it's chronic.
Alexisasheep I’ve never commented on a RUclips video before but I just had to say thank you for posting this comment. I’ve never read a more spot on description of what it’s like to suffer through the “pain” of depression. I’m sorry that you have to deal with it. But also thank you and kudos for being optimistic and helpful to yourself and to others. As much as I wish I didn’t, I agree with every single word.
@The_dane Same. I think that there are definitely different variations of depression. There are sort of episodes where I've been a lot more sad, and other times where it's apathy - normally in my experience, the sadness builds up and up for a while, and then the apathy hits at the end stages where the depression seems to be more clinical and sorta neurotic (like physical symptoms, weird obsessions etc...). In a way, the sadness hurts more, but the apathy stage looks more like someone you'd call mentally ill.
I like being organized and clean but I'm not obsessive, I just care about being clean. Thank you for clearing that up. I'm sick of people in my family acting like I have mental health problems for taking care of my things 😶
@Nancy Jaimes Reyes Might be worth taking that feedback seriously. You probably don't have a disorder, but there's a lot of misunderstanding about germs that has people doing things like wiping grocery cart handles. Lot of bad, unscientific ideas about bacteria and viruses.
You can be a neat freak or a germa phobe and not have ocd. You can even have ocd qualities and not have ocd, like repeating tasks and what not. My doctors think I might have ocd and I have none of the common traits most associate with it. I have intrusive thoughts and nightmares and they told me that is a form of ocd. Honestly if it isn't effecting your daily life and how you function you probably don't have it. There is a reason its called Obsessive Compulsion Disorder lol. Wanting to do something isn't the same as having to do it, or not realizing you are doing it and having it screw your life up.
A friend of mine called me a psychotic about cleaning because my house is tidy and relatively clean. I do a general cleaning every two weeks but I never leave things or trash everywhere and my house is quite minimalistic. My husband helps a lot and he is tidy as a person too. She, on the other hand, pets her animals and then cooks without even washing her hands first. Her house is filled with objects and her trash bin smells from meters away.
I've struggled with OCD for the better part of 5 years now & I kinda hate how romanticized it is in the media these days with how it's depicted in TV shows for example or even how the lady said people will make comments like "you have OCD" when they see someone is well organized. I'm currently much better now than I was a 3-4 years ago when my struggle with OCD was much worse & I'm glad those days are behind me cause every day was a nightmare for me. I did so many things which would be considered to be dumb or meaningless to deal with my obssessive thoughts & even though repeated cleaning & washing were part of my everyday life, I did many other things that wouldn't stereotypically be known to be "OCD" like locking myself in my room for hours on end to shelter myself from the outside world. At some point my grandma, who I lived with noticed my odd behaviour & also saw physical changes in me like loss of weight from not eating & my hands being bruised up & full of cuts from excessive washing. She decided to get me some help & I ended up spending time in a mental health facility seeing a physciatrist & psychologist. I was put on meds which eventually got me on the track to getting better but it was a long road to get to where I am today but as I've already said, I'm glad the worst days are behind me. I still slip back from time to time but the behavioural therapy I went through with my pshycologist is what helps me stay on the right track. I'm sorry for rambling but I just wanna say OCD sucks. Thanks to my family for supporting me through it & the docs who took care of me cause for quite sometime between 2016 & 2017, I never thought I was going to make it out of those dark moments.
Ohh this guy don't know my parents. They won't take responsibility for shit, and they definitely caused me plenty of trauma that fed into my depression.
@@thelegendkillersshittyduff1335 lol nice one judging people on both sides when only hearing one side of the story shows how much of a great person you are
Rose Netherton If your parents don’t help you, go and ask someone else. I bet there will be someone who would want to help you unlike your parents. Keep searching. Someone cares about you. My family does not help me, so I talk to friends, especially older people, in my church and school, and they are willing to talk. You will be surprised about the people who care about you other than your family. People have walked up to me and asked what’s wrong. People care about you. Please seek them, and they will help you.
I do not agree with the male psychologist. Bad parenting does, in some cases, cause the depression. The person may have a genetic predisposition, but environment plays a large, crucial part. Please upvote. Would love to see him respond with his thoughts on this.
He means that seeking blame and feeling resentment towards your parents after realizing that something is not quite right won't get you anywhere. At least that's how I understood the message.
He should’ve elaborated, I think he was just referring more to the fact that he’s working on the understanding that there is not one cause of mental illness. It can be social but it’s often also biological, or cognitive, or vice versa. But he is right in that parents make mistakes all the time & it doesn’t mean that they should take the blame for mental illness just because they make one mistake, although ofc it depends on the mistake & the degree to which it is made.
patrolmostwanted it won’t get you anywhere if you want to move forward. it is a normal response to resent your attacker because that’s what your brain does. it’s in survival mode. survival mode doesn’t have rationality bruv.
I grew up with a lot of stigma around going to therapy. You were “crazy” or “there’s something wrong with you.” I’m sure it was never said to be as harmful as I thought of it growing up, but it stopped me from going to get help for many years. Even when it came down to the wire, I was dragging my feet kicking and screaming. Going to counseling/therapy is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I want to continually get better and become a greater woman every day.
@6:55 try having narcissists for parents, I would salute anyone who can stay mentally and emotionally healthy for having narcissists as close family members.
people with npd are not inherently abusers nor is anyone with any disorder. there is no mental illness that can make you hurt another person. im truly sorry that you were emotionally abused and i wish you all the best in your healing and recovery but it is not okay to throw mentally ill people under the bus
@@milosmith5326 'Narcissist', 'narcissism' and 'narcissistic' are not diagnostic terms. They are descriptive terms used to describe a particular pattern of behaviour. They are useful word because they encapsulate a variety of behaviours into one word. Calling someone narcissistic is no different than calling someone antagonistic or difficult, or calling someone agreeable or friendly. Meanwhile, 'Narcissistic Personality Disorder' is a diagnostic term, which consists of meeting a certain behavioural criteria and that behaviour causing distress for the person diagnosed with the disorder. If anything, your comment actually invalidates the experience of miira saika and how they feel about their parents. Someone who can be described as narcissistic may have traits such as: lack of empathy, entitlement, gradiosity, selfishness, high-conflict confrontation behaviour, interpersonally challenging and uncooperative. However, that does not mean that they have a disorder. But I can tell you, there's a few people in my life who I would consider to be narcissistic in the way they behave. That does not mean they have Narcissistic Personality Disorder
I feel like description of depression was a bit skewed in the sense it isn't about sadness. It's actually a complete feeling of emptiness and being able to feel even sad was a luxury when I was depressed
depression is different for every person, for me i can be really sad today but tomorrow i'll be feeling empty, and going sad again for the rest of the week
Depression is a little different for every person. At times, I felt completely empty and I could not express any emotions. I felt like a robot. Like I was just going through life, but not ""experiencing" it. I would want to get angry or cry, but I was unable too. It got me very frustrated and It felt like I was "losing who I used to be". Other times, I was extremely sad, or extremely anxious to point of having anxiety attacks. I had the depression that was coupled with anxiety, and it was probably what someone could easily define as mental torture. I would get anxiety attacks several times a day. You FEEL that shit. Nowadays I just have a somewhat mild form, without the frequent extreme anxiety. Still a little rough though.
My therapist would beg to differ on the whole parenting aspect of mental health. We talk about how I was raised and particular events that occurred in my childhood. So, your parents do actually have a big effect on your mental health. But, at a point, you do have to take responsibility for your own mental health. It just helps to recognize from where those issues stem. And, it also helps to know which behaviors to not repeat when raising your own children.
I think it would be more appropriate for a Neuropsychologist (rather than a clinical psychologist aka therapist) or a Neurologist to address these disorders
I have had ADHD and I’ve had people tell me its not real. For those who don’t believe its real I dare you to spend a day with me off my med and watch me try to do some house hold tasks cause you can see it
AspergerUnicorn it’s actually not. Depression can be caused by one even, multiple different events or factors, or simply because your brain doesn’t produce enough serotonin. It varies from person to person.
@@andreah9587 I'm sorry if you found it offensive, what I wrote, I'm the kind of person who deals with it through humor, it's just how I cope. Didn't mean to make you feel unheard/not valid, many apologies!
@@Blondythedragon no i wasn't offended but i did misinterpret your comment, sorry about that! i took your comment to mean "i'm laughing because the myth is true" instead of "I'm laughing because the myth is false" like you meant.
as someone who had a bad parent, i can confirm it has absolutely RUINED my life. all the trauma and abuse, im here to say as an adult i am hardly functioning and living because of all the things that happened. my future has been taken from me, im so depressed and i hate myself. thanks dad, for raising me to be successful and confident and being a safe person to trust in, you really did it 😊
I just want to add onto "Antidepressants always cure depression" to say that there are some people that have to go beyond therapy + medication. I've tried 15 anti depressants, intensive outpatient programs (IOPs), and various kinds of therapy and still suffer from severe depression. TMS (transcranial magnetic stimulus) and ECT (electroconvulsive therapy) are next on the table for me, as well as the new ketamine treatment, so there's always something more to try if at first you don't succeed.
Both TMS, ECT and ketamine seem to be very promising, I know people who had great results with some of those (one of the guys I know who has hardcore shizophrenia was crying of happiness after his first ECT session). There are psylocibin and LSD treatments on the horizon also and we may yet see the day when we'll be cured with CRISPR or cybernetics or something. I'm myself past a dozen ADs (currently on mirtazapine + valproic acid for bipolar/dysthymia/cyclothymia) and yet to try therapy, but I'm kinda stable so no rush. Best of luck to you.
Bad parenting could lead to bad habits in ones adult life but it doesn’t exactly mean their child will experience a mental illness. It’s not like a person has schizophrenia because of their parents. But the main phrase here is ‘mental illness’. I just think it’s bad habits and having those bad habits may actually lead to upsetting relationship changes which could also lead to depression. But in this case, it was the bad habits that set the depression off - not the bad parenting
I noticed that too.. it can happen. I'm a foster child because my parents abused me, and I developed post traumatic stress disorder from my parents abuse. Parent's unhealthy actions can potentially have an effect on their child's mental health. I'm a university student in Child and Youth Care where family dynamics and mental health is heavily studied, and an overwhelming amount of evidence says that parent's actions have an effect on their children.
He's refering to the Biopsychosocial model (4p factor model too) which specifies that there must be multiple reasons for a mental disorder to occur. A traumatic event (social factor) must also be coupled with biological and/or psychological factor to spur a mental disorder. This is why not everyone who suffers a traumatic event will experience a mental disorder.
The most annoying one to me is people labeling irritable or angry people bipolar. I have PTSD which can cause anger or moodiness but I’m not bipolar. One of my brothers pissed me off saying this. I blew him off because he doesn’t listen
Yes, agreed.. usa in particularl is rather quick to toss labels. However irritation is in fact 1 of (hypo)mania symptoms, the line is drawn when it becomes painfully dysphoric with out of control racing thoughts, intrusive thoughts, horrible sleep & then the infamous flip (mainly bpII) into depressive lows so dark that self harm is a persistent thought throughout one's years of life. After so many cycles of dysphoric (mania) irritability/depression over & over it takes a hard toll, truly.
They are not reliable but I think you can still call yourself an Infp. I consider myself to be an infp. And I'm a psychologist. It's just fun, not everything fun has to be serious. Just don't treat it as sth that determines your value/fate/everything in your life.
Yeah I agree with you guys. I just thought the MBTI was something that psychologists used but yeah it is a starting point in helping to define ourselves.
@@rjmiko333 I only pull out the word INTP when I need to look for strengths and weaknesses for an interview. I need to manage these weaknesses to make myself look nearly perfect on paper.
I've been diagnosed with severe depression back in 2015, it came close to a suicide, I failed my whole college year because of it, lost some friends, I've taken medication and consulted a therapist for 7months, and after that I was "cured" as you never truly cure from a depression in my book. You learn to spot it and use methods to get by and make it go away for a while. 4years later, I'm back to being the happy funny guy that I was in HS, I'm now in the army loving my job and enjoying life. Never hesitate to consult, it takes strength and resilience to do, but you'll pull through and make it far afterwards. Never give up on yourself and don't let those "people will judge me" thoughts get the better of you.
Dude antidepressants don’t do shit all they do is make pharmaceuticals gain profit if you want to open and expand your mind you need to try hallucinogenics but before you do always do your research
Tsukushi Ikeda because people that are licensed by government oriented facilities are pretty reliable. Clinical practices are dictated by government and it hinders our ability to expand in all areas of the medical field, instead everyone is worried with filling their pockets.You don’t need a stupid certification to understand the underlying complexities of the brain. Also you do realize that the only way you can learn about the mind is to either perform your own experiments or reading published articles and journals from other psychologists.
@@Salinassss Antidepressants are working to some level, not everyone reacts to it the same way. Some will require strong one and others will require weak ones just to rebalance dopamine. The "big pharma" of Canada made 16$ out of me each months I used antidepressants. I feel so poor now!! /s I'm just not in a back bearing thinking country without free healthcare. It wasn't about opening my mind, it was about rebalancing hormones. Antidepressants used ALONE don't do shit and that's proven, you need to actively work on yourself, consult and follow a treatment plan. Psychologist went to school, learnt how the body works, how psychology works and have been tested and deemed worthy and scientific enough to be employed. Pretty sure they know more about mental health than someone using Google to find answers to all his problems.
The biggest myth I've uncovered is the idea that if you're in crisis, you just need to reach out and tell someone. The implication being that's the start of getting help. Ask yourself this though, have you or anyone you know ever been trained in what to do if someone reaches out to you in crisis? My experiences have been suddenly finding my situation feeling worse in many ways and the sense that it was on me to fix everything and convince people with extreme haste that their construct of the world was normal again. Basically I just needed to get back to pretending again. I think it's really rare for people to know how to respond in situations like that in a way that makes the person feel safe.
Wow I am happy to have stumbled on your comment. I had similar situation where in my case I could not pretend anymore and was basically forced to confide. Now I was already struggling with my problems and it made it much worse because I now had to help reassure the person "helping" me.
I think in general it’s still true that reaching out is usually the best first step. When you’re alone with no support or feedback it can be nearly impossible to find which way is up. You just need to reach out to the right people(Which I recognize not everyone has in their life) and not expect only one person to be able to handle all of your mental and emotional needs
@@shamanbeartwo3819 I'm so sorry, I'm praying for you 😯😯😯💗💗💗 I was very sad for a long time when my great grandmother died. She was the only extended family I had
To avoid getting depressed and especially ruminating, i try to forget all my problems by doing the things I like and then end up in getting in more trouble than I was 🙃
As someone who was abused by a parent, the therapist dismissing any causal relationship between parenting and mental illness is one of the reasons psychotherapy is ineffective 65-70% of the time (a statistic they never mention). God forbid we hold parents responsible for traumatizing their children.
For real. That’s why I don’t do therapy. These “professionals” truly believe they can get in our minds and tell us how we feel/why. There are SO MANY things about the human mind that we may never know. Live your truth, my friend. I believe in you.
Hi Jason, i'm really sorry you feel that way, however I would like to point out that the therapist in the video is talking about bad parenting, being abused by your parents isn't bad parenting, it is a crime and of course that event or series of event has causal relationship with suffering mental illness. If you're struggling with the emotional fallout of being abused as a child by your parents, seek help. Contrary to what Jacky says, a good therapist will never tell you who you're feeling and why, but rather help you in any way you may need.
Mental, psychological, physical, or sexual abuse are entirely separate beasts from "bad parenting". "Bad parenting" involves not teaching children to act like responsible adults, and then an adult blames their inability to act like an adult on their parents. Abuse is completely different. Abuse, gaslighting, all of that can and does cause mental illness or exacerbate an illness that is already there.
Very true. Parental abuse is Domestic Violence and most psychologists have no clue and little training on abuse. Psychology is of little use in the real world because it's all about giving out diagnosis for insurance companies to make money. Psychology is quackery.
" Myth: "Talking about depression makes it worse" " I disagree with this as a blanket statement. It depends on who you talk to. I have some friends that despite how well-meaning they are when we have discussions about my depression, their input often makes things worse (or does nothing at best) and I no longer go to them for that type of support.
That's not the talking about it, that's people who aren't educated giving bad advice. The video addresses the idea that if you talk about your own depression, that makes it worse, so just ignore it and it will go away.
Mmm not especially "happy life", being happy is just one of many parts in the spectrum that makes a life, mental health is critical to a "sane life", a "livable life"
I experience GAD and I can confirm meds did not change my personality, but they definitely help to prevent me from sort of “dwelling” on things that worry me. I have done therapy (although not for more than a few months) but meds have turned out to be my saving grace thus far to bring me back to “normal”
i have never in my life heard the idea that emotions last a few seconds to ten minutes. that isn't any definition of emotion i've ever encountered. ever.
@@koolk2269 I'm not saying sometimes emotions aren't fleeting. they can be. I'm saying this idea that if they last more than 10 minutes it might be pathological and a mental illness is absurd and harmful if that's what she tells clients. If she's never experiencing emotions for longer than 10 minutes maybe that's a her problem
If you replay the situation over and over again in your mind, you'll keep experiencing the emotion. With better coping techniques, I've found myself able to get over the negative emotions much quicker. Maybe if she had more time to speak she would've gone into more detail about the kinds of situations that may have you experiencing the emotions repeatedly, without it being related to mental illness. If you're able to feel happiness despite also feeling sad before and after the happiness, then the emotion isn't stuck lasting that long. Maybe I'm wrong 🤷♀️
@@jessp4016 happiness is also an emotion. One that by this definition should also be fleeting. The idea that negative emotions over a loss or anger at injustice should last no more than ten minutes is as absurd as the idea that happiness lasts but a moment. That's not how the word emotion is used. If she means something else she should say something else. There is no pathological cut off for emotion.
@@wakingcharade yeah I'm not happy at base, and it comes in moments, cycling back repeatedly depending on what I'm doing. But they only had so much time, probably being rushed through answers, so 🤷♀️ that's what we get
Thank you so much for talking about depression. I've been depressed for most of the last 17 years, and if I had a dollar for every time I've heard something like "you just have to be positive", "I have bad days too" or "what are you sad about?" I could retire. A lot of people can't understand, that I've never been a teenager AND depression-free, or why I can't finish some of the things I really want to. Your information really makes a difference.
It would be great for them to talk about these disorders but there are still so many misconceptions about 'common' mental illnesses so I guess we have to start somewhere. If we properly understand anxiety disorders and depression we can better understand other personality disorders without forming misconceptions, y'know?
Yeah I thought they were going to mention DID when they discussed the myth about schizophrenia but they didn't. I hate being treated like we're unicorns
i dont usually get shaken up by much but wow, my grandmother was everything to me, brought me up and everything. When she died I didn't feel sad, just relieved. I was seven at the time so I didn't understand that she had terminal cancer but I was definitely old enough to understand what happened. I still don't really miss her like in a melancholy way or anything but i always felt like i was the only one in my family injected with local anaesthetic wherever pain was meant to hit while we became subjected to the pain of her loss and it wore off by the time we all recovered so I didn't feel anything, but maybe that's not what happened to me.
That 5 stages of loss/grief thing was a relief to hear. I dropped out of therapy because I kept feeling I was being compelled to fit into that model when I didn't feel I could relate to it and how it 'works'. I found it frustrating so I opted out. Needless to say, I'm thriving ☺
They talked about Anxiety as happening before events but it can also happen after. Personally my anxiety stems from replaying memories over and over again and think about how everyone hates me cause I stuttered that one time.
Im 28 and i still struggle with social anxiety that it manifest physically, accelerated heart beat, freeze mode buy with therapy and medication I've had less
@@thelegendkillersshittyduff1335 Dear random internet person, Sometimes the mental illness is the reason for the ghosting. Like if they get severe panic attacks with phone calls, or all of their energy goes into just getting out of bed in the morning, etc. Sometimes it's not an active choice, and they likely already think they're shitty and pathetic. Also, going to therapy is really a struggle for some people in the first place. Please try to see they potential reasons for the situation before making such comments in the future, especially in regards to mental health, as it could negatively impact someone trying to manage a difficult situation. Thank you, Other random internet person
I'd like to add that when grieving it's not only relief that's become taboo but also this sense that you accept it or have closure right away. Like when you're close with the person who passed and you're obviously affected by it, but you're not sad, you just choose to remember the good stuff and smile about the life they had. Grief isn't just sadness, it can be acceptance of a life well lived and a memento of shared love.
finally someone is telling me because i keep clean does not mean i have ocd i do not btw i just like clean and organized things but sometimes i can leave a mess occasionally.
Galaxy Gamers exactly you like doing it its only ocd if you have to do it to relive anxiety or stress about the fact that your family might die if you don't
I too had medications before therapy. I often think that they saved my life. Without medications for depression and anxiety, my brain tries to kill me.
@@dahliablack3999 You deserve to feel good. I am a total stranger and i care about you. I know when i am feeling really low, all i want to do is be alone, but often that is actually the opposite of what i need. Meds have definitely helped me, and therapy certainly helped me too. I wish you all the best on your journey of healing
The one about “bad parenting” causing a child to have mental illness is interesting. I know that for me, my dad has had diagnosed anxiety and depression for my whole life. But early this year, I was diagnosed with ADHD and by finding my own diagnosis, came to realise that I actually inherited it from my dad. And through that, I realised nearly my whole family on his side has lived with undiagnosed ADHD their whole lives.
That's not bad parenting, it's genetics. A C-PTSD diagnosis is what comes from bad parenting... and DID for criminally punishable cases of bad parenting
The point about the stages of loss was really important to me, I’m glad you spoke about relief after loss those things are so important to hear. You’ve already lost someone, you don’t need the extra guilt of feeling like you’re grieving wrong.
@@allesundmehr Not only is it not all develop PTSD but instead the majority of people do not develop trauma after experiencing a “traumatic event” (psychologist prefer saying “potentially traumatic event”). It’s actually one of the bigger unsolved aspects in psychology as to why trauma happens and why someone will get it and another person won’t. Or why someone won’t get trauma from event A but will from event B, but then not get additional trauma from event C. Trauma is really weird.
My first therapy did force me to non stop talk about things I didn't want to talk about. That was in fact his "healing theory". Traumatized me more each time until I quit, now I thankfully know what a good therapist is like. Guys, if this happens to you, run
I'm not a psychologist. I do have persistent depression and get treated by a therapist/psychologist. I don't think sharing memes counts as a substitute for therapy with a therapist. The difference is that if you share a suicide related meme, for example, your doctor will never say "omgg, too much info". Doctors will be able to talk with you the underlying reasons, or how seeing the meme made you feel. etc. But, I do think it's helpful, to share memes. To at least acknowledge that you feel that way, and someone else made a meme that feels that way too. So you know you are not alone.
Myers Briggs is not reliable or scientifically proven, I 100% agree. But I wouldn't compare it to zodiac signs... Myers Briggs does at least involve logic and human functioning
I think the point is that people are way more complex than the Myers Briggs makes them out to be. It can be misleading to categorize yourself based of a quiz that most doctors don’t support
Yes. MBTI is descriptive while astrology is prescriptive. Big difference. She wholesale dismissed the theory without knowing anything about the theory. Jungian personality archetypes are rather complex, and the cognitive functions make great sense. It's just another tool in understanding the human psyche, nothing more.
Actually. Neuro-typically , you feel emotions in a transient way. So, if you are sad that your pet/family/ whoever died/ had a severe accident/ traumatizing experience, you do actually continue to feel other emotions (you might laugh, feel numb, might watch a video that's interesting etc), but you cycle back to being sad and so on. But each emotion is transient and it passes/ cycles through. Depression may feel the same. But it isn't as transient, it's more pervasive. It affects your appetite, sleep, hygiene, motivation, resilience, and emotional/intellectual/sensory overload/numbness. Many feel loss of interest in materialistic/ creative/ sexual experiences they used to enjoy. They often feel hopeless, helpless, worthless. Many experience difficulty in concentration, memory deficits. Eg. I have difficulty concentrating, don't take bath for days, room's a mess (I'm an organizer), I get tired if I'm laughing/socializing/ start crying, I'm always irritated, have body pain, literally lay in bed all day (cannot sit up, or lie down immediately after sitting up), I start watching/reading/creating something I'm excited about and I cannot finish it (I feel 'dead' inside, so that excitement/interest/ focus goes away, I think 'thats so much effort and what's the point) Depression is not the same as sadness (even sadness you experience over your lifetime). I know because I've experienced the difference between being sad and being depressed. Also, I should add, I'm from the field of psychology/ neuropsychology, so, I'm speaking from knowledge & experience. There is also a difference in the chemistry & thought pattern when sad/ grieving vs being depressed.
@@sheilaharrison8547 that's mourning. Most of the time if being sad about death of a loved one was close from their death, you cant be qualified for depression. Until you have it for longer and have the textbook symptoms like losing overall interest for things that you love, etc then you could be diagnosed with it
I don't think that's what they meant, but a lot of immature people literally joke about everything and don't read the room or realize that not everything can be joked about and there is a time and place for joking. They even sugarcoat it by saying "iTs DaRk HuMoR" as if that would make it better or would make them seem like a genius.
Thank you. I've never felt devastated over anyone's death before, I always felt like a liar because I would feign sadness, and force tears by thinking of something that actually makes me angry. Every funeral felt like a theatrical performance to me
Psychology student here! In my university, we are taught that the 5 stages of grief exist, however, not every person will go through all of the stages as the model explains. To elaborate, it isn't a straight line. You could go through certain stages but not all of them. And if you go through all of them, they aren't necessarily as the model orders them. In other words, the model suggests there are 5 stages in order: denial, anger, bargain, depression, and acceptance. However, people don't necessarily need to follow the order that the model suggests; as it isn't written on stone. Hope this helps!
You may not even go through any of those stages! That’s why it’s useful to be extremely critical of these theoretical or conceptual models being applied to complex human lives!
I think its better to think of them as a frame work rather than as a law. It can be helpful to some to contextualize their grief in that way, but we can't be so rigid in the belief of the stages that we dismiss the individual grieving process, because its different for everybody.
Lol even the classifications for the personality disorders are not black and white. When it comes to actually understanding the mind, psychology turns into metaphysical philosophy
Great video! Super informative! One thing I was curious about was why that one psychologist thought that the way parents raise a person doesn't have an influence on mental health. There are clear disorders like post traumatic stress disorder where long term exposure of abuse or maltreatment from a parent can cause mental illnesses. Just curious.
He's refering to the Biopsychosocial model (4p factor model too) which specifies that there must be multiple reasons for a mental disorder to occur. A traumatic event (social factor) must also be coupled with biological and/or psychological factor to spur a mental disorder. This is why not everyone who suffers a traumatic event will experience a mental disorder.
@@cassiel5201 yes, nature vs nurture (we already covered this topic in another thread). Which means that both play a role in the development of mental health disorders (even schizophrenia). You can have the predisposition for schizophrenia but it may never present if you don't have an environmental incident that triggers the onset of schizophrenia, and vise versa.
I don't think he was arguing against that I think he was just saying that while domestic abuse can be a factor and other traumatic experiences can result in a mental illness that's not always the result. Though I can definitely hear how terrible it sounds the way it was phrased.
Not a great video at all. Maybe the therapist is a shitty parent themselves. Who knows what a wacko stranger is going to say to you in exchange for your money
I disagree that parents cannot cause mental issues. Children that are abused, come from a broken home, or any other negative situation can suffer from all sorts of mental and emotional problems later in life. Something like schizophrenia is probably not caused by parenting, but severe anxiety, depression and other issues can certainly be caused by horrible parenting.
I think he meant that blaming your parents for your mental illness wont get you anywhere, and you cant change the way you were raised. He never really said it doesnt cause mental illness
I hope you are not referring to parents hitting the children when necessary when you say horrible parenting. Mostly Western countries aka "white people countries" always blur the lines between abuse and disciplining their children. If hitting their own children was so bad then almost every person from Eastern countries would be having mental health issues or will be depressed and what not.
@@mimipancakez4700 that's like telling someone who got stabbed that blaming the person for stabbing them won't get them anywhere because they can't change it
The myths around anxiety and OCD (which is actually an anxiety disorder in and of itself) particularly bother me. I do have an anxiety disorder and it's definitely not just worry or even feeling some anxiety about maybe a public speaking event or something. It's completely debilitating for me when I have an anxiety episode. Often, I can't even do simple things like get dressed or shower or basic housework because my thoughts are so wrapped up in the anxious thoughts. Therapy and learning (and, more importantly, practicing) healthy coping skills has been the only way to offset the negative behaviors, but it's taken literally years of practice to be able to function in a healthy way.
i've had mental illness all my life since I was a little girl and wanted to major in psychology but wasn't ready because I was so easily triggered but now I think it would actually benefit me to learn more about it because I have to cope with it everyday literally
@@jessicatoussaint9140 same. ive had to say no i dont have 5 different personalities im terrified of abandonment cause of my abusive childhood. its just a name of the disease
I started crying when the myth "bad parenting causes mental illness" came up...I have PPA and I'm driving myself crazy worrying about how I'm raising my son.
Something that I think should be addressed is that therapy before meds isn't always realistic. If you can't even peel yourself out of bed in the morning, going to therapy (which is incredibly emotionally taxing, and takes phone calls, research, calender management, and social energy to even begin) can feel, and very much be, impossible for many people, myself included. This won't pertain to everyone, since not everyone needs medication, but for me, mental health was a mountain: therapy, meditation, better eating, going outside, etc were all on that mountain with the goal of better mental health. Medication, to me, was hiking boots. Proper medication enabled me to "climb" the mountain, and do all of the other tasks that contribute to better health, like therapy. I was no longer looking at rocky terrain and trying to climb it barefoot, which felt and truly was unreasonable and impossible. It still took work to "climb" but I had the tools (meds) necessary to at least make it possible. To anyone who felt like I did: don't be afraid to talk to your PCP or psychiatrist about how impossible therapy feels and how you would like some meds to make it a little more doable, even just temporarily. Use the mountain metaphor if it helps them understand.
I have OCD. I am definitely not a neat freak. I have an anxiety disorder but I deal really well with stress. I have a major depressive disorder but I have periods of enjoyment. And my anti depressant meds allow me to function as me. Thanks for highlighting many of the problematic issues surrounding mental illnesses and addressing the realities of these conditions sympathetically and factually.
In my experience, the only thing I've felt considerable reservations about sharing with a therapist is when I'm having suicidal ideations and/or self-injury behaviors. I'm never totally sure if they're going to be chill and work with me or go into panic mode. And after 20 years, I feel more confident about being able to identify that kinda stuff in myself and asking for help before I spiral. That's why it's so upsetting when a therapist freaks out. I feel a sense of betrayal and rejection.
Like OCD is not really about cleaning it's a repetitive action that calms anxiety. It's anxiety and unpleasant thoughts and images that you can't control. Another form of OCD is trichotillomania which is what I have. It feels like a vicious cycle.
Fun thing about these personality tests: they can be used to compare groups of People (like People who scored higher on the introvert scale were more likely to ....). This is different from putting somebody in a box as introvert. Also, I loved the response to "therapy is for the weak"- myth. I'd say that the fact that many are hesitant to go to therapy shows that the ones who do, have overcome a barrier.
Omg. "There are no five stages of loss, it's just a myth." Way back in college, as I enrolled in social work the professors teaching Personality Disorder, Psychology, Case Work - they always taught us about the 5 Stages of Loss and even created an acronym DABDA (Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression then Acceptance). Even during the review for our Licensure Examination, this 5 stages is still on. Oh my. I must share this to my professors when I have contact with them. Thank you for the information!
My mom's father was not a nice person. At his house, they had the vents exposed in the basement. I had hit it by accident and this dude stormed in, and picked me up by my shirt. I was just a child. We hated going to our grandparent's house because of him. He came down with an ALS type disease when I was in 7th or 8th grade. Eventually he could barely talk or move, and it was very sad to see him in that state since he was once so big and strong. But it was a relief when he passed because we could finally enjoy seeing our family.
I have bipolar disorder. I wanna day please don’t be scared to go to a mental hospital/mental unit in the hospital there are no padded rooms they are not gonna chain you from the ankle it’s more like any others room in a hospital if anything it’s a bit more “free” in the sense that you get to wear your pajamas or sweats you wouldn’t make fun of some one who can’t see and goes to get glasses you going to see a psychiatrist is you seeking the help you need. I lobe my mental illness I love my mind I love my self. Hope you all do too :)
I’m sorry but you mean you “love” your mental illness or “loathe” because I actually don’t fully understand. Not to be a grammar nazi but I would just like to understand.
Aaron Kasér hey Aaron we can all hate our selfs wether it is because we are bad people and we know it or where you don’t think you are “all that” you have to build a relationship with your self you have to forgive your self you have to work in your relationship with your self respect your self practice self love every day you can work on your self till you become some one you like we will never be perfect or good the point of life is not to be good we are not saints just become a friend to your self hope that help a bit
Krystal Rossi Krystal Rossi hey krystal I don’t know why my key board loves to change love to lobe or maybe it’s my fat fingers also the second sentence I meant to say instead of day 🤷🏻♀️ I could blame it on my key board but I should probably read it again before posting
The devastated by loss one is so true to me. I have never really been sad or mourned losses, I have nearly always brushed it off- aside from three deaths I've experienced. The first was my great granddad's, I was so broken up by his death that it stopped me from allowing me to get close with people, before his death however, I'd shrug off deaths and not really feel anything. The second was the death of a puppy we had. I felt so much guilt because I was so scared of how excited she was that I couldn't spend any time with her, and I regretted it so much since just as I was warming up to her she suddenly died. The third, and most recent one, was when my Nana's wife's dad died. It affected me a lot because I was told that the weeks before he died, he would always talk about me and before he died he said he wanted to see me again. I hadn't seen or spoken to him in years, for selfish reasons on my part. I felt guilt that I was on his mind rather than his own closer family, like his wife and children. I am still affected by all of these, the first happening about about a decade or so ago, the second happening just under a decade. Loss can affect you in so many ways, it won't just make you sad.
I took me nearly a decade to accept my feeling of relief after my mother passed away. She was very abusive and traumatized me for life. Now when I can talk about it openly, I found out that people are less judgmental of it than I thought, and some could really relate...
I was diagnosed with chronic depression and general anxiety disorder. I personally cannot do some things at times because of them. The biggest thing I can't really do is go out with friends when I want. Just because I do have low days with depression and don't wanna leave my couch or bed. And being in crowds sometimes heightens my anxiety to the point I can have a panic attack
I am an avid mental health awareness advocate and spoken word performer, and I love this so much. I travel the country trying to bring that awareness on stages, in classrooms, hospitals, and on my RUclips channel, so I get excited when I see other advocates. 💚❤️
As someone who both has a high stress life and has an anxiety disorder and several phobias, the difference is pretty clear to me between when I'm just super stressed and when I'm dealing with my anxiety. The stress is manageable, and I still feel like I'm in control of myself even if I don't feel in control of what is going on in my life. With the anxiety, I don't feel in control of myself and my own mind. My very sense of the world shifts from one moment to the next and even if I know what I'm feeling is not based in reality, I can't change it. I just have to ride it out. And with depression, which I also have, for me my depression manifests as a lack of emotion and energy. I don't feel sad, I don't feel anything. So if I were in a depression period and started feeling sad, it would be a sign I was pulling out of it. The depression for me is a big blank hole of nothingness where I withdraw from the world and go into my head and just sink away and don't even realize it is happening. I don't feel anything, either good or bad.
I'm a psychology student.. I try to correct people when they use incorrect terms to describe their condition but I ended up being miss-know-it-all and they continue using those incorrect terms and self diagnosed🙂
It's like if a chemist student decided to correct what people are calling substances, it would be annoying. "Its not salt, its this!" Dont do this. You will be there for the patient not the other way around
@@KillingCrusemsPaige I dont correct when A=B (similarly subsets) and I don't mind being corrected knowing that I'm wrong also I don't correct them when they only do it once but they go around telling everyone educating people or make it in the form of question when they don't want answers. A: guys.. *explains condition* I don't know what to do.. B: You might have Bipolar Disorder *continues explaining Bipolar disorder as mood swings, alternating between manic and depression also in the form of mood swings* 'it seems like i have OCD I need everything in order, clean and tidy. I have to wash my hand almost all the time too. Seems like I have ot doesn't it?' and I don't plan to be a psychiatrist
I think it’s outstanding that there are 7 some billion of people on earth. And millions of them have dedicated an incredible amount of their time, money for school and training, and literally decades of their life to understand the illnesses and patterns our brain has taken on. And the brain is still mystery. I think that is very brave , and I’m thankful for those who have contributed to what we know now, and for the knowledge yet to come.
Identifying parental influences is a vital part of therapy though, just gotta put emphasis on the fact that it's in the past. Many of my friends who have taken SSRIs long term have ended up with radically different personalities. Be sure to do your own research yall!
With regard to "bad parenting not causing mental illness," we need to be careful. Bad parenting can lead to trauma , which can impact the development of the brain--specifically when you're young.
The man who said that those seeking therapy are actually some of the strongest people really touched my heart. All my life I was never called strong but rather weak.
Edit: It's happy yet sad at the same time that this comment resonated with so many people😥.But hey at least we all now know that we are not alone❤
Edit2:Hi,me again, I just wanted to thank you guys for all your words of encouragement, I'm now doing way better than before and moving on with my life. I really hope everyone of you is feeling way better now. Sorry if I'm making mistakes, I'm actually from a french speaking subsaharian african country (I'm not american), so english isn't my first language.
Beautiful Trauma I think he meant only strong do it because, you have to be strong enough to admit you have a problem you want to solve. I think I probably have depression, but I'm a coward and I fear going to teraphy because I fear that people will view me differently, or that they might think that just bcs I have depression I'm suicidal etc. I fear using ant depression pills bcs I fear becoming someone that's not me, someone I don't recognize. I don't want to be happy go lucky all the time, I fear that taking those pills might change me as a person.
So in a way people that go to therapy and get help are strong bcs they overcome their fears in hopes of getting better.
I hope that you overcome what ever you are dealing at the moment 😊
@@asobimo5532 I don't know you personally,but i don't think you're a coward.It takes courage to even admit that something might be wrong with you mentally.I'm currently antidepressants and believe it won't change who you really are.I completely understand the fear of your personnality changing.I feel the same.However leaving your possible depression untreated will change you. It's like all life will be sucked out of you.I understand to that going to therapy is intimidating.But maybe you won't even need antidepressants ?you can only be sure if you go right ?
i'm sure you can one day find the courage to go to therapy.If you can't now it's okay.😊 Thank you a lot I wish you the best too.😄
It's true for every person who has the strength to face and try to defeat an embarrassing problem they have. The moment you tackle the problem is the moment when you acquire confidence in yourself and what you are, both good and bad aspects. As Tyrion Lannister once tells Jon Snow: "Never forget what you are, the rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor and it can never be used to hurt you." This quote is not 100% truth in our reality, but you get the point :)
I really don't like complementing myself because it feels like a cope out of responsibility. Like why should I feel proud of myself for doing something that should be so basic?
But, there have been times where I have completely shot past others my work ethic and I know what life is supposed to be like, and it's not supposed to be this hard to keep living.
So, Yeah, it's like I have crippled a part of me and I just need help so that I can get back to running at full capacity. Cause who knows what you could accomplish when you're ACTUALLY in control? (You can always do things to improve but sometimes mental illness can really pull you down despite everything) Idk, that's just my inspiration for getting better.
I seeked help in a tory neighbourhood and got called a hypochondriac
i wish they talked about eating disorders because there's a lot of misconceptions about them
I didn't think about that, but yes, would have been great
I would love to see this.
When I found out when you feel hungry most people just go and eat, like when you need a wee you just go for a wee. I was 1, shocked at myself and 2, couldn't actually think of what hunger is
Yes, I agree
@@ashyosings5089 Would you explain this a bit further? Do you not get hungry often, or at all?
One of the strangest feelings I’ve had is not wanting to do something I know I will enjoy.
I don’t think people who haven’t experienced it can understand.
I can kindof relate...
Then how did u got over it?
I have, it's awful 😢
@@AinAdventures I was seeing a new primary care physician and he asked me if I was depressed. I had never sought help, because I was embarrassed. I teared up and said yes. He prescribed bupropion and I’ve been slowly returning to myself since.
@@audreymoyers9350 That’s great! May you have a speedy recovery …… I wish l also had the courage to seek medical help…
I don't think that women have a greater tendency to become depressed. But I do think that women have a greater tendency to REPORT the fact that they are depressed. A lot of men are still ashamed to talk about their emotions or seek mental help, so their depression go undetected and they might act out violently or in a self-destructive way as it gets worse.
We will never know really so that statement is more of an opinion; just saying, I’m not accusing you of anything 😅
I was surprised she didn't mention this, because it is likely to be a factor in that gender difference
You can check the suicide rate and that cam somehow help imagine the situation. Men commit suicide more than women, I don't remember the exact percentages but you can check it at the WHO page.
@Antônio M Women are so lucky in that area, we are always encouraged and comforted when showing emotions whereas men tend to be shamed and told to 'man up'. Really, toxic masculinity probably kill some you really slowly.
@@bethmckitrick417 Well being gay has been shown in many animals besides humans, it is shown by phycologists to be natural, and some straight people (quite a LOT actually) would rather have careers and be free rather then be tied down by a child.
Also just because I'm gay doesn't mean I don't want children. If anything gays are NEEDED because there's THOUSANDS of poor children DREAMING of having a home, but since most fertile straight couples would rather have a biological baby, not many children get adopted as we'd hoped.
I'm a psychologist. It bothers me a lot that psychological terms have made it to popular culture, and that's been happening for decades, for example the word idiot or histerical. Lately, it's OCD, or PTSD. I'm not a native English speaker and I can't judge, but same might be happening around anxiety (which is indeed not the same as stress or being nervous or afraid). It's dangerous because it invalidates people with mental disorders. I'd be happy if people at least understood the definition of mental disorder, which is, "(...) These symptoms must cause the individual clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning". If whatever you are experiencing doesn't fit with that, then you cannot use a clinical term for it. You're not depressed, you're sad/down. You don't have OCD, you just like to organise/clean.
@finalfantasy8911 Do you really expect any mental health worker to just go out and treat random people on the street. These people are not miracle workers, they need the patients to come and ask for help (or present to a hospital). Only those that make a choice can be treated unless deemed a danger (though that takes time and the patient usually needs to have already presented as being dangerous). Unless this school shooter was under treatment (even if he was it doesn't mean it could have been prevented) and the health worker was able to establish them being unstable or a danger, there is nothing that can be done.
@finalfantasy8911 You aren't even a therapist so you don't even understand or know what you are talking about. You just sound like a pissed off uneducated moron. You can't help people who don't want help. That is reality. You can go ahead and force people to thearpy but that doesn't mean they will show up to therapy or talk in therapy or that it will work for them. You can prescribe medication but that doesn't mean they will take it. I used to go to therapy because I was forced to and forced to take medication. I never took the medication, I never talked in therapy and then ghosted my therapist. I just recently decided to go back to therapy but I don't even talk about what I really want to. I was told that I need medication but I won't do it. Their only so much a therapist can do to get me to talk & take medication they cannot legally make me unless they send me to the hosptial. Therapist jobs aren't to solve your problems it to help you learn a way to solve your own problems, to teach you how to cope with your future issues and understand why you are feeling the way you are. They aren't miracle workers. They don't know who has issues or not so to go say they should be doing this or that is stupid because they don't know who needs help or not unless that person gets help or is forced to get help by someone else. Go after family, friends, schools, cops, government, etc. that knew something was wrong but didn't do anything to get that person help. Therapist do what ever they can to help people and spread the word but you can't force anyone into it. Therapist can't look at a person and be like he will be a future mass murder or he is going to kill himself so I should force him into therapy. Reality they can't even prevent things because government, healthcare, and that person who needs help are what gets in the way from them helping. As I said, YOU CANNOT FORCE PEOPLE INTO THERAPY AND YOU CANNOT HELP THEM WHEN THEY DON'T WANT IT. The real fault is everyone else who didn't pay enough attention to that person and not getting them help. The only idiot I see is you.
@finalfantasy8911 Okaaay, do you have the magical solution that will somehow extract all the ted bundies of the world to step forth and proclaim their desire for mental rehabilitation? I'm guessing no.
And the practise you're talking about is *research* Therapists do therapy to treat individuals, kinda like doctors. You don't talk shit about doctors because there are people dying of malaria. Why don't they stop malaria?! Answer: 1. People are always researching methods of treatment and 2. it's not a freakin' easy thing to do; otherwise it would have already been done. If you are genuinely this damn upset about it; try and solve all mental illnesses yourself and see how far you get. Best of luck.
The problem is that people often aren't compassionate enough to care about 'clinically insignificant' mental discomfort such as sadness or stress. If these were taken seriously and properly comforted/remedied, people wouldn't feel so desperate to get validated clinically.
@finalfantasy8911 Thats a stupid accusation and analogy. Its like blaming a doctor when a person in the street got sick bcs the doctor did not got to that person and its NOT any doctors fault. Omg ppl these days. 💁🙄
Finally. Someone said it. Sometimes you do feel relief when someone passes who you had an awful relationship with. I think more people need to hear that than "you're going to regret not making up with X before they die."
My grandma was a great woman with a great sense of humor, but she brooked no nonsense. She had a long hospice -months -before she died. At one point, I was upset at the fact she had tubes in every orifice it seemed, and though my Aunt told me all was well with her, from her description of my grandma I could tell she wasn't doing well.
I'm a biologist with a lot of medical knowledge. I knew she was lying.
And in frustration I said, "Why doesn't she die, already!" and I regretted it.
But I didn't regret her passing. We had a full relationship, and it was time to move on. It was alright.
@Evan Hodge I could ask you the same thing
I don't know it's kind of selfish. You might not like them but they have their own Lifeforce. So they only exist as to how they affect your life?. You're the narcissist by the way
@@ginnyjollykidd I totally understand that weird sense of relief when someone who you love and who was declining for a while finally dies. I felt it when my grandpa who had Alzheimer's died. He was basically gone already anyway, and it was so horrible how you can see he was suffering and before he became bed ridden, he would cry I think because he was sad and frustrated not being able to process thoughts and memories. It sounds awful, but I wish he would have passed a bit sooner, before he got so bad. It would have saved him a lot of pain and suffering.
Hey guys look, danger hair feels relieved when someone dies. Women have more empathy than men. What a laugh.
Can we talk about "thinking positive will cure you". I have a physical disability, and because of that I was diagnosed with depression. People continue to tell me "if you just think positively you won't need medication. You're just sad." Yes. I am mourning my former self, and I do get sad. But I'm not "just sad". People don't take mental health issues seriously because the terms are part of pop culture and regular speech. Also, if you need help and can't afford therapy, there are student therapists that work for lower rates.
I'm battling cancer and was told I have "situational depression". I think it's bullshit! I'm dealing with a disease that could kill me. It's just a way to get me to take more pills. I've had pain so bad, it's enough to want to die!!! They don't seem to understand about cancer and how it f*cks up your life!!!!!
@Anne-Lou Oh man that sounds hard. I can only relate a tiny, tiny little bit because I'm also very sensitive to loud or high-pitched noises, feels like getting stabbed in the chest. And I also sometimes have trouble keeping up with conversations or even making out what people are saying in crowded environments, because noise is just SO distracting for me. But what you're going through sounds much worse. I think you can only be as empathetic and understanding towards yourself as possible, given that most other people lack the capacity and education to relate to your experience. Give yourself time and space to process things, don't agree to do things you don't really want to do, and don't hesitate to remove yourself from environments that are causing you suffering. Shit now I'm handing out unsolicited advice again, sorry 😄 You know what's best for you.
About the "depression": I don't know the details of the situation. But if it really is depression and not just a normal grieving process, it's paramount to treat it as quickly as possible before it totally starts to spiral and incapacitate you even further.
"Thinking positively" has become such a cliché that it has really lost all the meaning it once might have had. I prefer "focusing on what you want". Once you've accepted the situation and all its ramifications (because a lot of what people group under "positive thinking" is actually just resisting the situation at hand and wishing things were differently), you can ask yourself: "Given that this is the situation, how can I live the best life possible for me?" or sth like that. Because it is true that chronically focusing on what you DON'T want (aka resistance) will do two things: 1. Increase the likelihood of you actually getting what you don't want and 2. Make you feel bad. The problem with this is that for nearly everybody on the planet that isn't engaged in some form of serious mindfulness practice, 99+ percent of this focusing process happens automatically and unconsciously.
I'm in school for mental health counseling and my prof. shared this with me, thought it was pretty neat surrounding that idea where if you just think positively then it's all okay. But that's just hiding the issue. upliftconnect.com/the-myth-of-positivity/
I thought that "situational depression" was just the term for feelings of depression that are caused by your situation (in other words, an appropriate, healthy response to something like cancer), as opposed to "clinical depression," which is diagnosed as a mental illness. But I'm not an expert.
I always told myself that I wouldn’t go and tell a stranger about my personal problems, and then my anxiety relapsed and debilitated me back in April. I now go to a therapist and it has helped me get my life back and learn how to tackle my anxiety and panic. You aren’t weak for going to therapy, you are strong for accepting something is wrong and wanting to change and fix it.
Sometimes it's a long road to get there, and as you mentioned relapses can come from an unknown trigger. Counseling/therapy does help, even if it just someone to confide with.
Good for you I may be a stranger but I'm happy for you and proud of you ❤️
I go to a therapist for my ADHD and I am not ashamed about it. It's much better to get help from other people than just letting it hurt your life. I am very happy to know that you are making the right decisions and making sure that you get the help needed for you.
Your profile picture is very cute.
Me and my therapist both have issues so we discuss them. Well...I have issues and my therapist used to have issues. I have anxiety (mainly social, but a good helping of the others) and he used to have depression. Oh also, whenever I feel especially down or I need to take a minute to calm down we play board games. He's a very nice AND extremely good therapist.
I had a BetterHelp therapist tell me there’s 5 stages of grief and I couldn’t figure out which one I was in cause I didn’t fit in any category. Hearing that it’s a myth is such a relief. I thought I wasn’t normal for feeling different about my fathers death.
BetterHelp is a scam.
The same thing with me. I didn't resonate completely with the each and every 5 stages of grief. More over, I was going through "the 5 stages of grief" in a chaotic disorganized order with my break up
Yeah, BetterHelp is a scam.
@@ohemdoublegee i’ve heard this a bit, why is it a scam?
@@theyopo3426 imagine going to a car mechanic asking for new tires. And instead they just ignore you the entire time and they give you an air freshener
bad parenting *can* cause mental illness in a child but as we grow older we cannot use that for others to accept our bad habits or actions. The psychologist should've been more clear... As kids we don't know our parents are harming us emotionally until we get older and it does take a couple of years to heal from the mental abuse. I'd rather have less questions in a video if they go into detail about the question. He answered it in 20 seconds and made it seem like parents didn't mean abuse you mentally/emotionally. Insider should be more careful on how questions like this are answered- one day the wrong person will see a video like this and will justify a wrong doing.
100% agree. One of the main things that irritated me about this video.
If anyone is out there feeling like their mental illness is due to their parents, YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID!!
Bad parents can 100% be responsible for their children's mental health issues.
i wish it was just easy. we can point out the problem but the problem is far, far greater than pointing it out to a single entity.
He's refering to the Biopsychosocial model (4p factor model too) which specifies that there must be multiple reasons for a mental disorder to occur. A traumatic event (social factor) must also be coupled with biological and/or psychological factor to spur a mental disorder. This is why not everyone who suffers a traumatic event will experience a mental disorder.
When I heard him say this I immediately check the comments to see if anyone else caught it. That was ridiculous.
I was searching the comments for someone else who was bothered by this answer too. I feel like he didn't acknowledge the fact that the stressor has to be present to "cause" mental illness in some people, and that stressor can indeed be parents through neglect, harmful discipline, abuse both emotional and physical, or a plethora of other things that can affect a child.
LOL THE FIRST WOMEN “LAURA” IS MY THEREPIST IRL
Lucky you tbh
How do we know your telling the truth?
@@justarandomconservativecoo3016 what would they gain by lying👁️👄👁️
@@perryleow6536 Rule #12 - Everyone on the internet is a liar until proven otherwise. (a.k.a. - "pics or it didn't happen")
I agree with rule #12, show us the proof Pinocchio
I love how he said "the people who are ready to look at themselves" are strong. And I love how they confirmed that everybody handles grief differently, and you shouldn't be shamed for _not_ being devastated over something. Somehow this little video helped me a lot to just go on today, thank you for sharing the knowledge!
Definitely. If you're devastated by something, but manage to overcome it, that's what is admirable.
@@nolongerjuicyboiz4413 For me it's more along the lines of not losing your spirit and generally jolly self. You know just because you lost somebody or something, other people will expect you to act all gloom and doom or they will judge you for 'not even grieving'. And that's not always the case
I wished they talked about the spectrum (Autism, Tourettes, ADHD, Aspergers etc) there are SO many myths about it! As someone with Aspergers and my friends have variety of the spectrum.
Laila Dobb I would love a video like that as well, coming from having a nieces with autism and a nephew with ADHD
Laila Dobb is ADHD related to ASD or Tourette’s? Or are you just saying there’s a spectrum for all of these disorders?
@@KallieMae they are related but you can have ADHD and Tourette's without being autistic (at least i think i'm remembering correctly). they have some things in common so videos that go over autism can possibly give you some insight on how neurodivergent things affect people. I think all three of these things fall on a spectrum (Tics and characteristics from being neurodivergent can go from almost unnoticeable to severe and very noticeable)
I'm autistic so i happen to know the most about that, and that is on a spectrum
In fairness neurology and psychology are different fields. They'd really have to devote a whole video to myths about neurology.
6:56. Actually, yes, bad parenting _can_ cause Mental illnesses like Depression and Anxiety. Comparing a child to other children, making a child feel bad for natural things like crying and being sad, making a child feel like they can't ever say no, helicopter parenting, and many other things can make a child anxious, depressed, or insecure due to bad parenting.
👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾 very very well said
I legit have PTSD and a myriad of other diagnoses from childhood abuse and grooming and literally all my mental illnesses have come from my parents and family abusing me. I was told this by my therapist after intense therapy. I have nothing nice to say about that man.
I'm just gonna reply to myself here and say that after thinking about it a little bit, I think he was trying to say that bad parenting isn't THE ONE AND ONLY cause for mental disorders. However he should have worded it better because clearly I wasn't the only one that was upset by the way he said it.
I agree with you. But I think his point was that is counterprodutive to blame your own problem for on them for the entire life
Literally all of these things are the story of my life.
I'm a psychology student and I just lost my mom to covid. I agree with them. I feel relived that she passed away. The pain I saw her in is something which still haunts me when I'm alone in my thoughts and I can't even imagine how she would have lived with the way she was affected by the virus.
But so many people say "oh you're not crying" "Oh such a strong girl who doesn't cry at her mothers death" No that's not true. I'm devasted to have lost my best friend of a mother. But I'm happy too. I'm happy she's past the pain and hopefully living a smashing afterlife up there. Losing a mother isn't easy, especially so suddenly and when you have such a strong bond with her. But it's important to let go when you see your loved one in pain. And rather than crying, it makes you happy that your loved one isn't in any pain anymore. And that doesn't mean you're not bothered or you're "strong" or anything. It's just a way of coping with death, especially death of your loved one. It's your love which makes you happy and relived, not sad and gloomy. And as Vision once said "What is grief if not love persevering?"
(Though I do still understand those who cry in such situation. Their emotions are as valid as mine, it's just a difference in the way you accept death)
I wish my parents can understand that therapy is not a paid friend.
Edit: y’all stop contacting me about this comment. Literally made it a year ago and forgotten about it
don't worry about that, if they don't want to understand is their problem, not yours
I’d trade 10 friends for a good therapist.
@@jerrybrown1446 some of my friends are very supportive and we are very open about our issues and emotions. Maybe i would trade 9 regular friends for a good therapist and him. :D
A paid friend 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
True! A paid friend is a frat brother/sorority sister 😅😝
Bad parenting can 100% cause mental illness. Do you know how many people live with PTSD as a result of abuse from their parents?
PTSD is real and can follow for a lifetime.
@@girlofthealpines Right. Each illness is different. If they had said 'environmental factors play a lesser or unknown role in certain mental illnesses and parental neglect and abuse can determine or cause mental illness in other cases', they would have been correct. They didn't. They claimed parenting does not cause mental illness, which is false.
Bad parenting is different from childhood trauma from the result of abusive/neglectful parenting though. Ongoing trauma is more likely to result in C-PTSD than ptsd anyway.
@@girlofthealpines if we're only talking about illnesses like schiophrenia and bipolar that you're born with, then they wouldn't have been talking about depression. In reality, depression, ptsd, schizophrenia, and bipolar are all mental illnesses. It's not useful to delineate like that unless we're talking about something specific
Or like DID
I would like to point out that “bad parenting” can, indeed, cause mental illness. It’s not a secret that childhood trauma, especially trauma caused by parental figures, can alter the actual structure and function of the brain; during development and then presenting throughout the rest of your life, if not addressed. It literally alters your perception of everything; you’re basically indoctrinated by abuse/neglect.
This is one of the reasons I actually developed PTSD and OCD - I’ve experienced mental/emotional, physical, and sexual abuse from my parental figures and I know I’m not alone in these experiences. I think it was quite shifty to just casually gloss over the reality of bad parenting and not elaborate on such an important/serious topic.
That wasn't his point though, and it's pretty easy to differentiate what he was talking about... The myth is that any/all poor parenting decisions are GOING to cause mental illness in the children... NOT that it's impossible to get mental illness from sufficient abuse out of parents...
Yeah, sometimes there's only the kind of damage a parent (or two) can do to the child... and nothing else in the world could possibly f*** someone up so bad...
BUT my mom broke a brand new Reebok tennis shoe across my ass... among many things casually yanked into repurpose as a whooping instrument, from ping-pong paddles to belts... There was yelling and swearing at each other between her and me... occasional outright explosions in public...
BUT I'm not bad off. I do pretty well in society. I may have joined the Navy specifically TO GET AWAY at the time... BUT I grew up fine. I've held jobs, worked independently, and even now do quite well. I'm fiercely independent and capable of withholding a temperamental outburst (usually) until I "cool off" enough to respond to a conversational point rather than spew filth and rage at someone... I'm not afraid all the time, and in point of fact, ride a motorcycle and even manage to get along well in traffic... hot or cold, doesn't matter... I can laugh at myself riding into a rainstorm and having forgotten my wet-gear at the house... "Yup... another of life's little tragedies..." whatever.
Now, most people seem to take personal offense or slump into bouts of depression or even blubbering when I share stories of my youth... I laugh about it. We carried on... but before she passed, I told her she'd made me the man I am... AND I didn't figure she'd done a bad job of it... She told me I was one of the two best things she ever did... My brother is the other... and I managed to get him into town one last time to hear that...
SO no... Bad parenting decisions (because, obviously her paradigm was less than stellar... not gonna lie) do NOT necessarily cause mental illness. There are other factors to consider... As he said, if all you're going to do is b*tch and whine about how bad you had it growing up... you can't change a thing about that... It's processing through it to get to what you HAVE now... what did the trauma and scars and all of it leave you with today... and what can you do with it to move forward.... THAT is still on you.
Seriously, not trying to pick a fight here... BUT you just missed his point. I'm living proof of it. You CAN come to a place and shrug it off... ;o)
It agree. It also bothered me that he talked about parental guilt. There are so many who have zero guilt. There are a lot of narcissistic parents out there that get very angry and defensive and will always invalidate the person they neglected and abused. And the invalidation in itself is abusive. Boy, this video has me so triggered right now. lol
Very true I had an abusive narcissistic mother as a child. I have C-PTSD, OCD, anxiety disorder, depression and many other issues thanks to it. Unfortunately some of the things she subjected me to qualify as crimes against humanity by the definition of it. The USA government believed her lies and ruled in absolutes that I be punished indefinitely for life. So I'm a prisoner of my past until the day I die. I don't have any choice, nothing I ever do will change it thanks to the dogma of the USA. The fact the government was deceived by my narcissist mother. Every single conscious moment is both painful, and debilitating to me for the rest of my life. It honestly hurts more to know how powerless I am to alter such a fate. Despite I haven't really done anything wrong just got dealt a very poor hand for parents in reality.
Being born to a narcissist is a fate worse than death, or nigh any other for that matter. Few people would believe the horror stories children of narcissists have experienced first hand.
He probably shouldve qualified that bad parenting isn't the same thing as pervasive abuse/neglect/trauma.
@@gnarthdarkanen7464 Its semantics...essentially you're saying your mom *wasn't* a bad parent. She just used physical discipline, which could be a bad decision. Often minor physical abuse is mitigated by a combo of structure and genuine affection. A child who also gets alot of love, but is disciplinary spanked on a fleshy area, especially if the parent isn't motivated by emotion nor arbitrary, will often be fine. One of the reasons minor physical discipline is frowned upon is it allowed us to normalize those who lashed out physically in personal anger at people over whom they have tremendous emotional, physical and legal power.
I'm guessing it's affected you less negatively because her intent wasn't malevolent, she made you feel genuinely loved, and you sense she was honestly trying her best. That's a categorically different experience than what the Commenter is bringing up.
I felt so guilty when I was somewhat relieved my grandmother died! She was just so unhappy towards the end of her life. Of course I was saddened. She helped raise me. But she had been ready to go for a long time.
Yeah same with my grandma as well. She was paralyzed and had dementia. She thought I was my mom. But I think she's happier after passing yet I miss her I was so conflicted
When my grandmother died, I felt the same, and I felt so guilty, but the thing that relieved me was thinking that since I was going through that pain in that moment, I wouldn't have to go through it later, especially because in the last period she was ill and i was very anxious of when she would die because i I didnt know how to face something like that
Kind of a similar thing with my mom actually. She had been terminal with lymphoma for a year or two before she died. We had to move to a different city for her treatment, we never knew when to expect good or bad news, we couldn’t travel at all... My Dad barely even had time to work since he was jumping between going to see mom, taking care of my brother and I, and doing daily chore type stuff. I felt pretty bad (and still do to an extent) that I felt relieved when she was gone. We were free though, for the first time in years.
I waited 5 yrs to seek help from a psychologist after my parents passed away. Best choice I"ve ever made!
Thank you for this very informative Q&A.
turbosdolphin
It takes a lot of courage to talk to someone about something so personal. It’s hard but it’s so worth it:)
@@zain4019 Thank for kind words Zain
turbosdolphin
I hope you’re doing well now! Allow yourself happiness, you truly do deserve it.
Oliver Berner
I’m sure almost everyone loves their parents in one way or another. We can show our parents and those we love our appreciation, but often things are left unsaid because they may die unexpectedly. The best we can do is deal with our grief, let ourselves feel the often overwhelming feelings in whichever way suits us- it may involve writing letters to our loved one, forgiving them and ourselves, rethinking our view on life and it’s frailty- it’s different for everyone. Whatever we choose and whatever path is best for us, it involves making peace with what has happened. This isn’t a bad thing- it’s freeing and allows us to spread joy while we ourselves are alive, as our loved ones would want us to.
So why do you think that waiting 5 years was such a good choice? /s
My parents actually were the main cause of my mental health issues. After hitting a wall with treatment I was finally diagnosed with PTSD and got the help I needed. I always thought it was my fault I was sick, but it wasn't.
the myth of ocd hit hard. it's so damaging to hear people say 'im sooooo ocd!' when it's painful and tears me down every day.
Ugh. As an ADHD and Aspie, being misrepresented is standard fare and sucks. Hard. : /
I have a friend who I love with all my heart, but she does this all the time. I feel bad not letting her know it upsets me. Is there any way to politely tell her off?
Although it’s annoying try and understand that it isn’t their fault for making that mistake as they were probably not made aware as they are not educated properly about what ocd truly is and that I blame the education system for not teaching about mental disorders
I would just straight up tell her to stop. Tell her the difference between OCD and just being neat or what not
I say that sometimes as a coping mechanism though, when I get really frustrated with it. Idk if it's actually helpful or just selfharm haha. But when thinking about it, saying "I'm so ocd" has almost become a compulsion. So there is that lol..
I’m really glad she mentioned the word rumination because that’s what I was suffering from for years from junior year of highschool to my second year of college. I used to ruminate about how bad I was at swim team for the longest time and I use to open up to people about it and no one seemed to understand me. I only found out about rumination a couple months after my depression ended and my therapist never mentioned it!
🙏
I have never heard that word used in any psychological way, what you most likely have heard is 'thinking over and over about a particular thing or situation'.
My partner ruminate's everyday. That's some good insight
Rel1369 Yeah most people use the word brooding or dwelling instead of ruminating
@@paleobc65 I would say dwelling because i can't say my r's that way. Lmfao
Wow, as an Italian therapist I have to say that some of these "popular myths" actually imply a level of psychological culture in the general population that is beyond imagination here in Italy at the moment. Maybe it's also because clinical practice itself tends to put much less emphasis on diagnostic labels than in the USA culture (and I think this is not a bad thing itself), a lot of people have never heard about "OCD" or "Myers Briggs" at all, they just think therapy is for weak crazy wrecks who enjoy paying a scammer for not doing anything or for manipulating them, and they morally despise both therapists and their clients. The difference between psychologist, psychiatrist and all those pseudo-professionals who pose as therapists after a year of weird seminars with exotic-sounding names is unknown, with obviously harmful outcomes on people's health and chances to get proper treatment. Still a long way to go, but each time a new client says "I used to think I would never come to therapy but XY told me about their experience", or I bump into a young client on the street and they greet me and go "that's my therapist!" to their friend, I feel there is hope.
Omg the ocd misconceptions piss me off! I have ocd and I am NOT clean at all, my ocd is like I have to do certain rituals or bad things will happen, like I have to check the door to see if it’s locked 3 times and if I don’t I sont sleep. If I don’t tell my family drive safe before they leave the house then they will like get in a crash BECAUSE I didn’t say that. So it’s kinda illogical but it’s real and really annoying. Does anyone else with ocd have similar obsessions?
Yes I've been there you have to find a way to distract your mind. Good luck hope you get better.
My mum thinks she has OCD because she's pedantic, she gets really upset when I tell her she doesn't. It's so irritating
exactly being clean because you like it is being a perfectionist it ocd someone with ocd has to do ritual cleaning otherwise they feel someone might die because they didn't clean something properly and ocd isn't just about cleaning it could be related to just intrusive thoughts
yep.. i can't say whether it's ocd for me though. but getting out of the habit of having to check things so many times without feeling anxious is so bloody hard though.
Random xx yes, my brother has OCD too and has germaphobia, so he’s like actually afraid of being dirty and he washes his hands every time he touches anything, even tables or countertops. I think the rule is it has to negatively affect your life in a big way.
Bad parenting can definitely cause mental illness! Often extensive appropriate therapy is needed to process early schemas formed through an unhealthy parent-child relationship. Its not necessarily deliberate bad parenting, just human error... doesn't mean it doesn't have an effect.
Yeah it kinda took away some of the credibility to the video
He's refering to the Biopsychosocial model (4p factor model too) which specifies that there must be multiple reasons for a mental disorder to occur. A traumatic event (social factor) must also be coupled with biological and/or psychological factor to spur a mental disorder. This is why not everyone who suffers a traumatic event will experience a mental disorder.
There are good parents who produce kids with mental illness. So ur point is invalid.
All of the black and white thinking here
Ava Martin I don’t think they meant that all people with mental illness had bad parents, i think they mean that people with bad parents are likely to cause mental illness in their kids.
I disagree with this video when he said that bad parenting doesn't cause mental illnesses. People suffer for their entire lives from the scars given to them by their parents, and they become incapable of having healthy relationships because they never had one with their parents. Good parenting is extremely important, and I wish more and more people would realise that. Maybe that doctor has met an increasing number of parents ready to take responsibility (which is good), otherwise there are so many awful parents out there who are shameless about the kind of abuse they do to their children.
They are the expert who spent decades of their life studying this. And you are not.
It’s equivalent to saying you know more than a doctor
@@stevechrollo8074 so are you indirectly saying that what I am saying is not true?
Also, I am not saying I know more than a doctor. Science is always changing. A few years later you’ll find these same ‘experts’ saying something else.
@@ananya.a04 It’s been a year, and they are disproving you (uneducated in psychology) with the same points with actual countless of studies and in field experience within therapy, which again you are limited in.
Again, the argument that is “science is always changing” is a bad and arbitrary one that can be made against any scientific claim (could be an argument against proving a round earth), and that’s what makes it erroneous. There are a lot of findings in psychology that are less likely to change, that parents definitely dont cause mental illness is one of them
@@stevechrollo8074 are you kidding me? Bad parenting is one of the biggest cause of psychological disorders in children. Even if we ignore the disposition of certain disorders that children inherit from their parents, the abuse and pressure they inflict on their children messes them up pretty bad and pushes them towards many mental illnesses.
I’m not talking about basic facts that had been known beforehand and got repackaged and sold again in the name of science. I’ll even give you examples if you want. Science is ever changing due to its very nature; it is incomplete. Despite all the money and efforts put in since its beginning, western science is no closer to understanding the true nature of everything.
@@ananya.a04 There’s no good evidence backed by a good psychology journal to suggest your claim of a causal relationship (correlation isnt causation). Just because abused children are more likely to develop mental illnesses doesnt suggest that that itself or in combination CAUSES it. It seems like you have a hard time understanding causal relationships and how it differs from correltaion. You will probably link to me some correlation studies that dont have a real treatment or control group, and say look it causes it when it’s really correlation, and the author mentions it up front
Literally you are disagreeing with an expert in that video. You need to really reevaluate your knowledge or lack of
It doesn't help that the 5 stages of grief is still taught in higher education classes.
luis arroyo and I learned that in a psychology class! I remember very well listing these in my exam paper! Maybe they should say, new research says... not just call it a myth, we didn’t come with these stages, “they” taught us
i definitely do not believe it’s a myth. it’s real. it happens. that’s how our brain processes grief of ANY kind. it goes in different orders. if it was fake it wouldn’t be in college education
Yeah I had to write 3 essays about that and study on it for it all to be a lie
@@PaolaTheTimeLord well many things make it into higher education that isn't correct or becomes outdated.
And that a number of therapists still use it in counselling 😐
Thank you! When I was first diagnosed with an anxiety/depressive disorder, I told my family, and many of them were like, "You don't need treatment, everyone gets stressed, you just have to deal with it." I tried to explain the difference, but one thing I've learned is that explaining the feelings of mood disorders to someone who'd never experienced it is utterly impossible. They just have no reference frame to understand it, and when they try to apply it to their own experiences, they come up with "just stress" or "just fear" or "stop choosing to think about these things". The feeling that I'm sometimes not in control of my own thoughts is the most terrifying thing in the world, and it's also the part no one ever seems to understand.
Just because I'm depressed doesn't mean I'm not capable of joy. I have good days and bad days, and sometimes good hours and bad hours within a single day. But the key is that the moments of joy are fleeting, and at some point there is always a return to emptiness. To be honest, I think the intrusive thoughts when I'm having a depressive episode are worse than my usual anxious thoughts. I guess I've learned to cope, for the most part, with "what if I get fired? What if they're late because they got into an accident?" But the depressing thoughts... "I'm going to die alone, and I deserve it, because I wouldn't even want to care about me so why would anyone else? I'm a terrible person. I don't deserve love, and everyone who claims to love me MUST be lying out of politeness or pity." Those thoughts are the worst, and I don't know how to convince myself they're not true. Usually they're just kind of... there, at the back of my mind. And the very fact that I HAVE these thoughts makes me feel less worthy. But some days, when I'm in the middle of an episode, the thoughts come to the forefront, and churn and churn and chip away at me, until I'm literally in the fetal position in bed using all my strength to stop from weeping. So it's more of a dull self-loathing/self-esteem problem most of the time, while only occasionally getting to the point of staying in bed and not eating all day and maybe crying.
I hear you
I totally agree with your first part. I used to have those similar thoughts when I was a teenager, I was naive and inexperienced. My depression and bipolar is so ingrained in my personality and life now that I've gone beyond the typical normal persona and have ruminated so deeply that I'm now totally past the usual hopelessness and worthless feelings. I've attempted suicide and been in deep suicidal rabbit holes that lasted for many, many years. For 20 years I've been dealing with bipolar depression, on and off of course. I never have those thoughts of love lacking or being a horrible person, I could care less. I hate people, I hate humanity SO much, I don't give a damn of what other people think of me. My concerns are more about being a burden because I'm mentally disabled and unable to work, and the worries of my future. I'd kill myself just so I don't have to worry about money and stability anymore, it's all about survival at this point for me. I feel like I'm so far gone and past the usual depressive thoughts most people have, I just can't even relate to other depressed/bipolar people, but I'm a misanthrope and I have other heavy opinions and worldviews. I'm also an antinatalist and an atheist, so I'd just love it if I could get free euthanasia, that'd be my dream come true. No matter how happy or content I am or could be, I will always be suicidal and wanting to die, I just cannot stand this world and this species.
Those thoughts either make or brake me, I hope you're doing well right now.
@@dreamrabbits5072I’m sorry to hear this how are you doing now?
Therapy should be just like going to the dentist, frequent check ups should be the norm
And it should have a copay of no more than $10, not $40 like my insurance has it.
@@ginnyjollykidd i know i dont understand why its so expensive!
Yes yes yes yes, even if all you need is a cheerleader!
Honestly we should let people decide how to medicate themselves.
Not everyone wants to be dependent on drugs that don't even prevent any serious diseases as oral microbial attacks.
The psyche has a subjective existence, therefore its contents are also has spiritual experience and so you can do reach other ways of improving your psychological well-being through therapeutic psychosocial disciplines such as meditation, Yoga, Tai chi, etc. that involves communal activities that would purify/heal your soul positively while making some friends along the way.
depression is more like being empty inside rather than being sad, that's why so many people turn to pain because it lets you feel something. I would not recommend hurting yourself, get help if you're depressed because most likely it will help but if you do need that sting just take a rubber band or a hair tie around your wrist and pull so it snaps back. it's better than giving yourself scars or torturing yourself mentally, like I did, just to feel that sweet and sour taste of pain that becomes your comfort in many ways, like drugs. but please do get help if you need to and surround yourself with people who will love and care for you. you don't need people who make you doubt if you're just being overdramatic or whatever, you don' have to put up with those people even if they are your family. if you can get yourself to a good place and have loving people around you then you can try to make those people understand what you're going through because they will see what kind of person you were before and they'll see how much happier and content you are when you get to that good place. there's always ups and downs but you can always improve the foundation.
Edit: about a year after commenting this I'd like to add that please don't shy away from therapy and/or meds if you can get them and you're doctor thinks it's a good match for you. With meds you'll most likely have to try a few before something sticks or eventually always change them or up the dose (as the case is with me). It's not always easy and it's no miracle pill that'll fix all problems but it can be the difference between being able to take a shower or getting too close to the edge, especially if it's chronic.
Alexisasheep I’ve never commented on a RUclips video before but I just had to say thank you for posting this comment. I’ve never read a more spot on description of what it’s like to suffer through the “pain” of depression. I’m sorry that you have to deal with it. But also thank you and kudos for being optimistic and helpful to yourself and to others. As much as I wish I didn’t, I agree with every single word.
@@aleksandrakulesza9912 thank you, I wish all the luck and the happiness in the world cause lord knows we all need it
It's called apathy. A very common symptom of depression and the one I hate having the most.
@@alexandercanella4479 yeah that too. Feeling tired all the time is the worst for me, both physically and mentally. And not enjoying things anymore.
@The_dane Same. I think that there are definitely different variations of depression. There are sort of episodes where I've been a lot more sad, and other times where it's apathy - normally in my experience, the sadness builds up and up for a while, and then the apathy hits at the end stages where the depression seems to be more clinical and sorta neurotic (like physical symptoms, weird obsessions etc...). In a way, the sadness hurts more, but the apathy stage looks more like someone you'd call mentally ill.
I like being organized and clean but I'm not obsessive, I just care about being clean. Thank you for clearing that up. I'm sick of people in my family acting like I have mental health problems for taking care of my things 😶
@Nancy Jaimes Reyes Might be worth taking that feedback seriously. You probably don't have a disorder, but there's a lot of misunderstanding about germs that has people doing things like wiping grocery cart handles. Lot of bad, unscientific ideas about bacteria and viruses.
You can be a neat freak or a germa phobe and not have ocd. You can even have ocd qualities and not have ocd, like repeating tasks and what not. My doctors think I might have ocd and I have none of the common traits most associate with it. I have intrusive thoughts and nightmares and they told me that is a form of ocd. Honestly if it isn't effecting your daily life and how you function you probably don't have it. There is a reason its called Obsessive Compulsion Disorder lol. Wanting to do something isn't the same as having to do it, or not realizing you are doing it and having it screw your life up.
A friend of mine called me a psychotic about cleaning because my house is tidy and relatively clean. I do a general cleaning every two weeks but I never leave things or trash everywhere and my house is quite minimalistic. My husband helps a lot and he is tidy as a person too. She, on the other hand, pets her animals and then cooks without even washing her hands first. Her house is filled with objects and her trash bin smells from meters away.
I've noticed that some of the cleaning things actually help set things up to be easier to keep in order later on.
I've struggled with OCD for the better part of 5 years now & I kinda hate how romanticized it is in the media these days with how it's depicted in TV shows for example or even how the lady said people will make comments like "you have OCD" when they see someone is well organized. I'm currently much better now than I was a 3-4 years ago when my struggle with OCD was much worse & I'm glad those days are behind me cause every day was a nightmare for me. I did so many things which would be considered to be dumb or meaningless to deal with my obssessive thoughts & even though repeated cleaning & washing were part of my everyday life, I did many other things that wouldn't stereotypically be known to be "OCD" like locking myself in my room for hours on end to shelter myself from the outside world. At some point my grandma, who I lived with noticed my odd behaviour & also saw physical changes in me like loss of weight from not eating & my hands being bruised up & full of cuts from excessive washing. She decided to get me some help & I ended up spending time in a mental health facility seeing a physciatrist & psychologist. I was put on meds which eventually got me on the track to getting better but it was a long road to get to where I am today but as I've already said, I'm glad the worst days are behind me. I still slip back from time to time but the behavioural therapy I went through with my pshycologist is what helps me stay on the right track. I'm sorry for rambling but I just wanna say OCD sucks. Thanks to my family for supporting me through it & the docs who took care of me cause for quite sometime between 2016 & 2017, I never thought I was going to make it out of those dark moments.
Ohh this guy don't know my parents. They won't take responsibility for shit, and they definitely caused me plenty of trauma that fed into my depression.
Your parents are selfish pieces of shit and I hope that you get help with that. I hate people who do that shit.
@@thelegendkillersshittyduff1335 lol nice one judging people on both sides when only hearing one side of the story shows how much of a great person you are
I 100% agree with you, Rose. They always ask where I got this shit from (obviously it can't be them).
Rose Netherton
If your parents don’t help you, go and ask someone else. I bet there will be someone who would want to help you unlike your parents. Keep searching. Someone cares about you. My family does not help me, so I talk to friends, especially older people, in my church and school, and they are willing to talk. You will be surprised about the people who care about you other than your family. People have walked up to me and asked what’s wrong. People care about you. Please seek them, and they will help you.
@@laurahuynh8333 thanks! I do have some amazing friends and chosen family. 💕
I do not agree with the male psychologist. Bad parenting does, in some cases, cause the depression. The person may have a genetic predisposition, but environment plays a large, crucial part. Please upvote. Would love to see him respond with his thoughts on this.
He means that seeking blame and feeling resentment towards your parents after realizing that something is not quite right won't get you anywhere. At least that's how I understood the message.
Who's the expert
He should’ve elaborated, I think he was just referring more to the fact that he’s working on the understanding that there is not one cause of mental illness. It can be social but it’s often also biological, or cognitive, or vice versa.
But he is right in that parents make mistakes all the time & it doesn’t mean that they should take the blame for mental illness just because they make one mistake, although ofc it depends on the mistake & the degree to which it is made.
patrolmostwanted it won’t get you anywhere if you want to move forward. it is a normal response to resent your attacker because that’s what your brain does. it’s in survival mode. survival mode doesn’t have rationality bruv.
Bad parenting is not the same as being an abusive parent.
I grew up with a lot of stigma around going to therapy. You were “crazy” or “there’s something wrong with you.” I’m sure it was never said to be as harmful as I thought of it growing up, but it stopped me from going to get help for many years. Even when it came down to the wire, I was dragging my feet kicking and screaming.
Going to counseling/therapy is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I want to continually get better and become a greater woman every day.
I would tell them I'm crazy and proud of it and I like going to therapy.
God bless you Kaylee! 😊💯
@6:55 try having narcissists for parents, I would salute anyone who can stay mentally and emotionally healthy for having narcissists as close family members.
people with npd are not inherently abusers nor is anyone with any disorder. there is no mental illness that can make you hurt another person. im truly sorry that you were emotionally abused and i wish you all the best in your healing and recovery but it is not okay to throw mentally ill people under the bus
@@milosmith5326 agreed!
@@milosmith5326 'Narcissist', 'narcissism' and 'narcissistic' are not diagnostic terms. They are descriptive terms used to describe a particular pattern of behaviour. They are useful word because they encapsulate a variety of behaviours into one word. Calling someone narcissistic is no different than calling someone antagonistic or difficult, or calling someone agreeable or friendly. Meanwhile, 'Narcissistic Personality Disorder' is a diagnostic term, which consists of meeting a certain behavioural criteria and that behaviour causing distress for the person diagnosed with the disorder.
If anything, your comment actually invalidates the experience of miira saika and how they feel about their parents. Someone who can be described as narcissistic may have traits such as: lack of empathy, entitlement, gradiosity, selfishness, high-conflict confrontation behaviour, interpersonally challenging and uncooperative. However, that does not mean that they have a disorder. But I can tell you, there's a few people in my life who I would consider to be narcissistic in the way they behave. That does not mean they have Narcissistic Personality Disorder
@@liambraithewaite6415 keep away from those toxic people whatever 'term' or label they like or don't like being called.
I feel like description of depression was a bit skewed in the sense it isn't about sadness. It's actually a complete feeling of emptiness and being able to feel even sad was a luxury when I was depressed
they said that too, they called about ANHEDONIA which is what you describe ~I think.
That's not depression that's a brain dead situation , try running naked in freezing cold weather for an hour daily it will go away within a week
Depression has different symptoms, not everyone will feel the emptiness you desrcribed when they are depressed.
depression is different for every person, for me i can be really sad today but tomorrow i'll be feeling empty, and going sad again for the rest of the week
Depression is a little different for every person. At times, I felt completely empty and I could not express any emotions. I felt like a robot. Like I was just going through life, but not ""experiencing" it. I would want to get angry or cry, but I was unable too. It got me very frustrated and It felt like I was "losing who I used to be". Other times, I was extremely sad, or extremely anxious to point of having anxiety attacks.
I had the depression that was coupled with anxiety, and it was probably what someone could easily define as mental torture. I would get anxiety attacks several times a day. You FEEL that shit.
Nowadays I just have a somewhat mild form, without the frequent extreme anxiety. Still a little rough though.
My therapist would beg to differ on the whole parenting aspect of mental health. We talk about how I was raised and particular events that occurred in my childhood. So, your parents do actually have a big effect on your mental health. But, at a point, you do have to take responsibility for your own mental health. It just helps to recognize from where those issues stem. And, it also helps to know which behaviors to not repeat when raising your own children.
I wish they talked about add and adhd, so many misconceptions about that
I think it would be more appropriate for a Neuropsychologist (rather than a clinical psychologist aka therapist) or a Neurologist to address these disorders
Cara same! Adhd may be a more common disorder but there are so many myths about it that the average person doesn’t seem to know about it at all.
Same. I have ADHD and i'd love to see a video on 15 myths about ASD. BTW, i am somehow handling quarintine in SF kinda well.
I have had ADHD and I’ve had people tell me its not real. For those who don’t believe its real I dare you to spend a day with me off my med and watch me try to do some house hold tasks cause you can see it
@@Dragondude16 I'd show them my adhd superpowers. Or the research showing the meds working for people.
"Myth: Depression is always tied to one event"
Hah.
That's hilarious.
AspergerUnicorn it’s actually not. Depression can be caused by one even, multiple different events or factors, or simply because your brain doesn’t produce enough serotonin. It varies from person to person.
@@andreah9587 I'm sorry if you found it offensive, what I wrote, I'm the kind of person who deals with it through humor, it's just how I cope. Didn't mean to make you feel unheard/not valid, many apologies!
@@Blondythedragon no i wasn't offended but i did misinterpret your comment, sorry about that! i took your comment to mean "i'm laughing because the myth is true" instead of "I'm laughing because the myth is false" like you meant.
@@andreah9587 You have nothing to apologize for, I do realize that it can be read two different ways, that one is on me!
@@Blondythedragon it's no problem, my dude. Btw i also have Asperger's, so Autism team unite!! lol
as someone who had a bad parent, i can confirm it has absolutely RUINED my life. all the trauma and abuse, im here to say as an adult i am hardly functioning and living because of all the things that happened. my future has been taken from me, im so depressed and i hate myself. thanks dad, for raising me to be successful and confident and being a safe person to trust in, you really did it 😊
I just want to add onto "Antidepressants always cure depression" to say that there are some people that have to go beyond therapy + medication. I've tried 15 anti depressants, intensive outpatient programs (IOPs), and various kinds of therapy and still suffer from severe depression. TMS (transcranial magnetic stimulus) and ECT (electroconvulsive therapy) are next on the table for me, as well as the new ketamine treatment, so there's always something more to try if at first you don't succeed.
It rankles me for people to have the misconception that you can be cured. You can be in a more stable state, but it goes with you everywhere.
God be with you fam
Or just use weed
Both TMS, ECT and ketamine seem to be very promising, I know people who had great results with some of those (one of the guys I know who has hardcore shizophrenia was crying of happiness after his first ECT session). There are psylocibin and LSD treatments on the horizon also and we may yet see the day when we'll be cured with CRISPR or cybernetics or something. I'm myself past a dozen ADs (currently on mirtazapine + valproic acid for bipolar/dysthymia/cyclothymia) and yet to try therapy, but I'm kinda stable so no rush. Best of luck to you.
Not everyone does well on antidepressants and therapy. Testing all medications while sick is exhausting. I hope you are doing better. All the best.
6:55 I don't agree with this at all. Anything can cause mental illness, and bad parenting isn't exempt from that.
If anything, the psychologist was just simply stating that parents shouldn't be blamed for all the mental illnesses that their child can undergo.
Awesum Bear ...and your "beliefs" are backed up by what evidence?
Bad parenting could lead to bad habits in ones adult life but it doesn’t exactly mean their child will experience a mental illness. It’s not like a person has schizophrenia because of their parents. But the main phrase here is ‘mental illness’. I just think it’s bad habits and having those bad habits may actually lead to upsetting relationship changes which could also lead to depression. But in this case, it was the bad habits that set the depression off - not the bad parenting
I noticed that too.. it can happen. I'm a foster child because my parents abused me, and I developed post traumatic stress disorder from my parents abuse. Parent's unhealthy actions can potentially have an effect on their child's mental health. I'm a university student in Child and Youth Care where family dynamics and mental health is heavily studied, and an overwhelming amount of evidence says that parent's actions have an effect on their children.
He's refering to the Biopsychosocial model (4p factor model too) which specifies that there must be multiple reasons for a mental disorder to occur. A traumatic event (social factor) must also be coupled with biological and/or psychological factor to spur a mental disorder. This is why not everyone who suffers a traumatic event will experience a mental disorder.
The most annoying one to me is people labeling irritable or angry people bipolar. I have PTSD which can cause anger or moodiness but I’m not bipolar. One of my brothers pissed me off saying this. I blew him off because he doesn’t listen
Yes, agreed.. usa in particularl is rather quick to toss labels. However irritation is in fact 1 of (hypo)mania symptoms, the line is drawn when it becomes painfully dysphoric with out of control racing thoughts, intrusive thoughts, horrible sleep & then the infamous flip (mainly bpII) into depressive lows so dark that self harm is a persistent thought throughout one's years of life. After so many cycles of dysphoric (mania) irritability/depression over & over it takes a hard toll, truly.
really? I broke a chair against my brothers back when I was a little kid
"Myth: Myers-Briggs Personality tests are reliable" Goodbye to being an INFP :(
They are not reliable but I think you can still call yourself an Infp. I consider myself to be an infp. And I'm a psychologist. It's just fun, not everything fun has to be serious. Just don't treat it as sth that determines your value/fate/everything in your life.
Yeah I agree with you guys. I just thought the MBTI was something that psychologists used but yeah it is a starting point in helping to define ourselves.
@@rjmiko333 I only pull out the word INTP when I need to look for strengths and weaknesses for an interview. I need to manage these weaknesses to make myself look nearly perfect on paper.
Greetings from an ENFP Burt by that fact.
Hurt*
I've been diagnosed with severe depression back in 2015, it came close to a suicide, I failed my whole college year because of it, lost some friends, I've taken medication and consulted a therapist for 7months, and after that I was "cured" as you never truly cure from a depression in my book. You learn to spot it and use methods to get by and make it go away for a while. 4years later, I'm back to being the happy funny guy that I was in HS, I'm now in the army loving my job and enjoying life. Never hesitate to consult, it takes strength and resilience to do, but you'll pull through and make it far afterwards. Never give up on yourself and don't let those "people will judge me" thoughts get the better of you.
I am glad to hear that😊
Dude antidepressants don’t do shit all they do is make pharmaceuticals gain profit if you want to open and expand your mind you need to try hallucinogenics but before you do always do your research
@@Salinassss And what type of mental health clinician are you? Are you just looking up articles, or do you have an actual license to practice?
Tsukushi Ikeda because people that are licensed by government oriented facilities are pretty reliable. Clinical practices are dictated by government and it hinders our ability to expand in all areas of the medical field, instead everyone is worried with filling their pockets.You don’t need a stupid certification to understand the underlying complexities of the brain. Also you do realize that the only way you can learn about the mind is to either perform your own experiments or reading published articles and journals from other psychologists.
@@Salinassss Antidepressants are working to some level, not everyone reacts to it the same way. Some will require strong one and others will require weak ones just to rebalance dopamine. The "big pharma" of Canada made 16$ out of me each months I used antidepressants. I feel so poor now!! /s I'm just not in a back bearing thinking country without free healthcare. It wasn't about opening my mind, it was about rebalancing hormones. Antidepressants used ALONE don't do shit and that's proven, you need to actively work on yourself, consult and follow a treatment plan. Psychologist went to school, learnt how the body works, how psychology works and have been tested and deemed worthy and scientific enough to be employed. Pretty sure they know more about mental health than someone using Google to find answers to all his problems.
The biggest myth I've uncovered is the idea that if you're in crisis, you just need to reach out and tell someone. The implication being that's the start of getting help. Ask yourself this though, have you or anyone you know ever been trained in what to do if someone reaches out to you in crisis?
My experiences have been suddenly finding my situation feeling worse in many ways and the sense that it was on me to fix everything and convince people with extreme haste that their construct of the world was normal again. Basically I just needed to get back to pretending again. I think it's really rare for people to know how to respond in situations like that in a way that makes the person feel safe.
Wow I am happy to have stumbled on your comment. I had similar situation where in my case I could not pretend anymore and was basically forced to confide. Now I was already struggling with my problems and it made it much worse because I now had to help reassure the person "helping" me.
I think in general it’s still true that reaching out is usually the best first step. When you’re alone with no support or feedback it can be nearly impossible to find which way is up.
You just need to reach out to the right people(Which I recognize not everyone has in their life) and not expect only one person to be able to handle all of your mental and emotional needs
Emotions are supposed to last a few seconds to 10 minutes or less? 2:52 damn, so me crying 6 hours straight isn't normal?
One of my dearest friends died last week and I spent most of the day sobbing. And I knew she was dying and was expecting the call any day.
@@shamanbeartwo3819 I'm so sorry, I'm praying for you 😯😯😯💗💗💗 I was very sad for a long time when my great grandmother died. She was the only extended family I had
@@CharlieHorse4363 - Thank you for your kind thoughts and prayers.
@@shamanbeartwo3819 absolutely 💗
then thats depression not sadness, dumbass
To avoid getting depressed and especially ruminating, i try to forget all my problems by doing the things I like and then end up in getting in more trouble than I was 🙃
What are you doing in my head?!
@@delevator8755 what ? Is it the same for you ? Then hi comrade
@@Nili7012 in mine too!
same. im down in the depths im always in. therapy & medicine and im still down
As someone who was abused by a parent, the therapist dismissing any causal relationship between parenting and mental illness is one of the reasons psychotherapy is ineffective 65-70% of the time (a statistic they never mention). God forbid we hold parents responsible for traumatizing their children.
For real. That’s why I don’t do therapy. These “professionals” truly believe they can get in our minds and tell us how we feel/why. There are SO MANY things about the human mind that we may never know. Live your truth, my friend. I believe in you.
Check Psychology in Seattle. The psychologist is na expert on trauma and he has a better knowledge on this area than this people.
Hi Jason, i'm really sorry you feel that way, however I would like to point out that the therapist in the video is talking about bad parenting, being abused by your parents isn't bad parenting, it is a crime and of course that event or series of event has causal relationship with suffering mental illness. If you're struggling with the emotional fallout of being abused as a child by your parents, seek help. Contrary to what Jacky says, a good therapist will never tell you who you're feeling and why, but rather help you in any way you may need.
Mental, psychological, physical, or sexual abuse are entirely separate beasts from "bad parenting". "Bad parenting" involves not teaching children to act like responsible adults, and then an adult blames their inability to act like an adult on their parents. Abuse is completely different. Abuse, gaslighting, all of that can and does cause mental illness or exacerbate an illness that is already there.
Very true. Parental abuse is Domestic Violence and most psychologists have no clue and little training on abuse. Psychology is of little use in the real world because it's all about giving out diagnosis for insurance companies to make money. Psychology is quackery.
" Myth: "Talking about depression makes it worse" "
I disagree with this as a blanket statement. It depends on who you talk to. I have some friends that despite how well-meaning they are when we have discussions about my depression, their input often makes things worse (or does nothing at best) and I no longer go to them for that type of support.
That's not the talking about it, that's people who aren't educated giving bad advice. The video addresses the idea that if you talk about your own depression, that makes it worse, so just ignore it and it will go away.
@@Tracymmo oh, I see now. My bad.
Mental health is critical for a happy life 🔥
Oliver Berner no one is going to read that
Good physical, mental and social health are critical for a happy and successful life
Mmm not especially "happy life", being happy is just one of many parts in the spectrum that makes a life, mental health is critical to a "sane life", a "livable life"
Oliver Berner are you okay?
so wise
I experience GAD and I can confirm meds did not change my personality, but they definitely help to prevent me from sort of “dwelling” on things that worry me. I have done therapy (although not for more than a few months) but meds have turned out to be my saving grace thus far to bring me back to “normal”
I remember being rejected for a job interview because of the Myers-Briggs test saying I wasn't retail minded...
That either is or should be illegal. Imagine them using f'ing astrological signs. God damn I hate Myers Briggs.
@@aplus1080 Yeah, it was the 2010s so I'm not sure anymore. But yeah it was weird
Retail is a nightmare, you dodged a bullet.
i have never in my life heard the idea that emotions last a few seconds to ten minutes. that isn't any definition of emotion i've ever encountered. ever.
Walking Charade A great example is when you get mad and then a few minutes later you are laughing about something.
@@koolk2269 I'm not saying sometimes emotions aren't fleeting. they can be. I'm saying this idea that if they last more than 10 minutes it might be pathological and a mental illness is absurd and harmful if that's what she tells clients. If she's never experiencing emotions for longer than 10 minutes maybe that's a her problem
If you replay the situation over and over again in your mind, you'll keep experiencing the emotion. With better coping techniques, I've found myself able to get over the negative emotions much quicker. Maybe if she had more time to speak she would've gone into more detail about the kinds of situations that may have you experiencing the emotions repeatedly, without it being related to mental illness. If you're able to feel happiness despite also feeling sad before and after the happiness, then the emotion isn't stuck lasting that long.
Maybe I'm wrong 🤷♀️
@@jessp4016 happiness is also an emotion. One that by this definition should also be fleeting. The idea that negative emotions over a loss or anger at injustice should last no more than ten minutes is as absurd as the idea that happiness lasts but a moment. That's not how the word emotion is used. If she means something else she should say something else. There is no pathological cut off for emotion.
@@wakingcharade yeah I'm not happy at base, and it comes in moments, cycling back repeatedly depending on what I'm doing. But they only had so much time, probably being rushed through answers, so 🤷♀️ that's what we get
Thank you so much for talking about depression. I've been depressed for most of the last 17 years, and if I had a dollar for every time I've heard something like "you just have to be positive", "I have bad days too" or "what are you sad about?" I could retire. A lot of people can't understand, that I've never been a teenager AND depression-free, or why I can't finish some of the things I really want to.
Your information really makes a difference.
wish this covered myths about more highly stigmatized things like personality disorders and dissociative identity disorder
Yeah.... depression etc aren’t nearly as stigmatized as personality disorders. Yet they’re the only ones we talk about... it’s sad
It would be great for them to talk about these disorders but there are still so many misconceptions about 'common' mental illnesses so I guess we have to start somewhere. If we properly understand anxiety disorders and depression we can better understand other personality disorders without forming misconceptions, y'know?
Yeah I thought they were going to mention DID when they discussed the myth about schizophrenia but they didn't. I hate being treated like we're unicorns
Like what myths?
@@aplus1080 I think there’s a myth that people with borderline personality disorder are sociopaths
i dont usually get shaken up by much but wow, my grandmother was everything to me, brought me up and everything. When she died I didn't feel sad, just relieved. I was seven at the time so I didn't understand that she had terminal cancer but I was definitely old enough to understand what happened. I still don't really miss her like in a melancholy way or anything but i always felt like i was the only one in my family injected with local anaesthetic wherever pain was meant to hit while we became subjected to the pain of her loss and it wore off by the time we all recovered so I didn't feel anything, but maybe that's not what happened to me.
That 5 stages of loss/grief thing was a relief to hear. I dropped out of therapy because I kept feeling I was being compelled to fit into that model when I didn't feel I could relate to it and how it 'works'. I found it frustrating so I opted out. Needless to say, I'm thriving ☺
They talked about Anxiety as happening before events but it can also happen after. Personally my anxiety stems from replaying memories over and over again and think about how everyone hates me cause I stuttered that one time.
Don't worry, when you get older these things won't matter at all, you'll be laughing about it in your 20's.
Im 28 and i still struggle with social anxiety that it manifest physically, accelerated heart beat, freeze mode buy with therapy and medication I've had less
Remember guys
It's important to NOT ghost your therapist..
Late
Or other mental health professionals! Seriously we worry
I really needed to see this comment tbh I havent been in contact for 3 weeks im gonna call tomorrow. .
Oh god that's a thing that's extremely pathetic they don't even think what it does too the therapist. They only care about there shitty ass selves
@@thelegendkillersshittyduff1335 Dear random internet person,
Sometimes the mental illness is the reason for the ghosting. Like if they get severe panic attacks with phone calls, or all of their energy goes into just getting out of bed in the morning, etc. Sometimes it's not an active choice, and they likely already think they're shitty and pathetic. Also, going to therapy is really a struggle for some people in the first place. Please try to see they potential reasons for the situation before making such comments in the future, especially in regards to mental health, as it could negatively impact someone trying to manage a difficult situation.
Thank you,
Other random internet person
I'd like to add that when grieving it's not only relief that's become taboo but also this sense that you accept it or have closure right away. Like when you're close with the person who passed and you're obviously affected by it, but you're not sad, you just choose to remember the good stuff and smile about the life they had. Grief isn't just sadness, it can be acceptance of a life well lived and a memento of shared love.
finally someone is telling me because i keep clean does not mean i have ocd i do not btw i just like clean and organized things but sometimes i can leave a mess occasionally.
Galaxy Gamers exactly you like doing it its only ocd if you have to do it to relive anxiety or stress about the fact that your family might die if you don't
I had medications BEFORE the therapy, to make me stable enough to not be a danger to myself and be productive during the therapy
Yes, there is such a thing as being too depressed for therapy.
I too had medications before therapy. I often think that they saved my life. Without medications for depression and anxiety, my brain tries to kill me.
I’m definitely way too depressed for therapy.
@@dahliablack3999 please take care, your life will be much better afterwards
@@dahliablack3999 You deserve to feel good. I am a total stranger and i care about you. I know when i am feeling really low, all i want to do is be alone, but often that is actually the opposite of what i need. Meds have definitely helped me, and therapy certainly helped me too. I wish you all the best on your journey of healing
The one about “bad parenting” causing a child to have mental illness is interesting. I know that for me, my dad has had diagnosed anxiety and depression for my whole life. But early this year, I was diagnosed with ADHD and by finding my own diagnosis, came to realise that I actually inherited it from my dad. And through that, I realised nearly my whole family on his side has lived with undiagnosed ADHD their whole lives.
That's not bad parenting, it's genetics. A C-PTSD diagnosis is what comes from bad parenting... and DID for criminally punishable cases of bad parenting
The point about the stages of loss was really important to me, I’m glad you spoke about relief after loss those things are so important to hear. You’ve already lost someone, you don’t need the extra guilt of feeling like you’re grieving wrong.
9:16 Even people indirectly exposed to trauma (e.g. heard about it through the news, have friends/families experienced it) can have PTSD!
of course they can, they even said so in this video. but the point is that not all people who are exposed to a traumatic situation develop PTSD
@@allesundmehr
Not only is it not all develop PTSD but instead the majority of people do not develop trauma after experiencing a “traumatic event” (psychologist prefer saying “potentially traumatic event”). It’s actually one of the bigger unsolved aspects in psychology as to why trauma happens and why someone will get it and another person won’t. Or why someone won’t get trauma from event A but will from event B, but then not get additional trauma from event C. Trauma is really weird.
My first therapy did force me to non stop talk about things I didn't want to talk about. That was in fact his "healing theory". Traumatized me more each time until I quit, now I thankfully know what a good therapist is like.
Guys, if this happens to you, run
So does sharing memes about depression count as therapy?? Asking for a friend.
Hellefleur It do be like that sometimes
Could be cbt
I'm not a psychologist. I do have persistent depression and get treated by a therapist/psychologist.
I don't think sharing memes counts as a substitute for therapy with a therapist. The difference is that if you share a suicide related meme, for example, your doctor will never say "omgg, too much info". Doctors will be able to talk with you the underlying reasons, or how seeing the meme made you feel. etc.
But, I do think it's helpful, to share memes. To at least acknowledge that you feel that way, and someone else made a meme that feels that way too. So you know you are not alone.
Memes cure depression, this is pretty basic information man
Hellefleur No.
Myers Briggs is not reliable or scientifically proven, I 100% agree. But I wouldn't compare it to zodiac signs... Myers Briggs does at least involve logic and human functioning
She dismissed it in 2 sentences in such an assured manner and absolute tone.
I think the point is that people are way more complex than the Myers Briggs makes them out to be. It can be misleading to categorize yourself based of a quiz that most doctors don’t support
Yes. MBTI is descriptive while astrology is prescriptive. Big difference. She wholesale dismissed the theory without knowing anything about the theory. Jungian personality archetypes are rather complex, and the cognitive functions make great sense. It's just another tool in understanding the human psyche, nothing more.
It is unfounded, though. They have tested whether it is reliable and it isn't. The big five actually is reliable.
@@JosiahMcCarthy and yet there are strong correlations found in both. Only FFM-Neuroticism is not directly predicted by MBTI.
Sadness is only meant to last up o ten minutes? I’m pretty sure you can be sad for longer than that without having clinical depression.
A lot of things they said are incorrect.
It's a good cue to talk to a doctor about it.
Actually. Neuro-typically , you feel emotions in a transient way. So, if you are sad that your pet/family/ whoever died/ had a severe accident/ traumatizing experience, you do actually continue to feel other emotions (you might laugh, feel numb, might watch a video that's interesting etc), but you cycle back to being sad and so on. But each emotion is transient and it passes/ cycles through.
Depression may feel the same. But it isn't as transient, it's more pervasive. It affects your appetite, sleep, hygiene, motivation, resilience, and emotional/intellectual/sensory overload/numbness. Many feel loss of interest in materialistic/ creative/ sexual experiences they used to enjoy. They often feel hopeless, helpless, worthless. Many experience difficulty in concentration, memory deficits.
Eg. I have difficulty concentrating, don't take bath for days, room's a mess (I'm an organizer), I get tired if I'm laughing/socializing/ start crying, I'm always irritated, have body pain, literally lay in bed all day (cannot sit up, or lie down immediately after sitting up), I start watching/reading/creating something I'm excited about and I cannot finish it (I feel 'dead' inside, so that excitement/interest/ focus goes away, I think 'thats so much effort and what's the point)
Depression is not the same as sadness (even sadness you experience over your lifetime). I know because I've experienced the difference between being sad and being depressed.
Also, I should add, I'm from the field of psychology/ neuropsychology, so, I'm speaking from knowledge & experience.
There is also a difference in the chemistry & thought pattern when sad/ grieving vs being depressed.
@@sheilaharrison8547 that's mourning. Most of the time if being sad about death of a loved one was close from their death, you cant be qualified for depression. Until you have it for longer and have the textbook symptoms like losing overall interest for things that you love, etc then you could be diagnosed with it
ive been sad since i was like 12.
People just go overboard with terms, to rely on humor.
Almost like society is afraid of maturity.
Or humanity
Or maybe thats how we deal with it.
Wow you must not be awfully bright if you think humor is a sign of immaturity :O
We’re afraid of vulnerability & we use humour to get through our pain.
I don't think that's what they meant, but a lot of immature people literally joke about everything and don't read the room or realize that not everything can be joked about and there is a time and place for joking. They even sugarcoat it by saying "iTs DaRk HuMoR" as if that would make it better or would make them seem like a genius.
Thank you. I've never felt devastated over anyone's death before, I always felt like a liar because I would feign sadness, and force tears by thinking of something that actually makes me angry. Every funeral felt like a theatrical performance to me
That seems like an issue ngl
Psychology student here!
In my university, we are taught that the 5 stages of grief exist, however, not every person will go through all of the stages as the model explains.
To elaborate, it isn't a straight line. You could go through certain stages but not all of them. And if you go through all of them, they aren't necessarily as the model orders them.
In other words, the model suggests there are 5 stages in order: denial, anger, bargain, depression, and acceptance.
However, people don't necessarily need to follow the order that the model suggests; as it isn't written on stone.
Hope this helps!
You may not even go through any of those stages! That’s why it’s useful to be extremely critical of these theoretical or conceptual models being applied to complex human lives!
Hate to be rude but I already now that, but thanks for letting people know though so that they can learn something as well!
@@comprends2138 as big brain as I am I don’t even know LOL
I think its better to think of them as a frame work rather than as a law. It can be helpful to some to contextualize their grief in that way, but we can't be so rigid in the belief of the stages that we dismiss the individual grieving process, because its different for everybody.
Lol even the classifications for the personality disorders are not black and white. When it comes to actually understanding the mind, psychology turns into metaphysical philosophy
Great video! Super informative! One thing I was curious about was why that one psychologist thought that the way parents raise a person doesn't have an influence on mental health. There are clear disorders like post traumatic stress disorder where long term exposure of abuse or maltreatment from a parent can cause mental illnesses. Just curious.
He's refering to the Biopsychosocial model (4p factor model too) which specifies that there must be multiple reasons for a mental disorder to occur. A traumatic event (social factor) must also be coupled with biological and/or psychological factor to spur a mental disorder. This is why not everyone who suffers a traumatic event will experience a mental disorder.
@@cassiel5201 yes, nature vs nurture (we already covered this topic in another thread). Which means that both play a role in the development of mental health disorders (even schizophrenia). You can have the predisposition for schizophrenia but it may never present if you don't have an environmental incident that triggers the onset of schizophrenia, and vise versa.
I don't think he was arguing against that I think he was just saying that while domestic abuse can be a factor and other traumatic experiences can result in a mental illness that's not always the result. Though I can definitely hear how terrible it sounds the way it was phrased.
Not a great video at all. Maybe the therapist is a shitty parent themselves. Who knows what a wacko stranger is going to say to you in exchange for your money
I disagree that parents cannot cause mental issues. Children that are abused, come from a broken home, or any other negative situation can suffer from all sorts of mental and emotional problems later in life. Something like schizophrenia is probably not caused by parenting, but severe anxiety, depression and other issues can certainly be caused by horrible parenting.
I think he meant that blaming your parents for your mental illness wont get you anywhere, and you cant change the way you were raised. He never really said it doesnt cause mental illness
I hope you are not referring to parents hitting the children when necessary when you say horrible parenting.
Mostly Western countries aka "white people countries" always blur the lines between abuse and disciplining their children.
If hitting their own children was so bad then almost every person from Eastern countries would be having mental health issues or will be depressed and what not.
@@mimipancakez4700 that's like telling someone who got stabbed that blaming the person for stabbing them won't get them anywhere because they can't change it
@@gulammohiddin5747 most people DO have mental health issues, they're just in denial about it and don't get help
@@gulammohiddin5747 Take your racism elsewhere.
The myths around anxiety and OCD (which is actually an anxiety disorder in and of itself) particularly bother me. I do have an anxiety disorder and it's definitely not just worry or even feeling some anxiety about maybe a public speaking event or something. It's completely debilitating for me when I have an anxiety episode. Often, I can't even do simple things like get dressed or shower or basic housework because my thoughts are so wrapped up in the anxious thoughts.
Therapy and learning (and, more importantly, practicing) healthy coping skills has been the only way to offset the negative behaviors, but it's taken literally years of practice to be able to function in a healthy way.
i've had mental illness all my life since I was a little girl and wanted to major in psychology but wasn't ready because I was so easily triggered but now I think it would actually benefit me to learn more about it because I have to cope with it everyday literally
It's hard to express your sadness when everyone expects you to be happy.
people with personality disorders aren’t inherently toxic or abusers
I take this as someone who was diagnosed with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and the stigma that comes with it
y e s. say it louder for the people in the back. i hate it when people assume that everyone with a personality disorder is inherently a bad person.
@@jessicatoussaint9140 same. ive had to say no i dont have 5 different personalities im terrified of abandonment cause of my abusive childhood. its just a name of the disease
Yes
yes, but well, except NPD.
I started crying when the myth "bad parenting causes mental illness" came up...I have PPA and I'm driving myself crazy worrying about how I'm raising my son.
Check Psychology in Seattle, Dr Kirk honda goes into the effect of childhood trauma on later mental health.
Something that I think should be addressed is that therapy before meds isn't always realistic. If you can't even peel yourself out of bed in the morning, going to therapy (which is incredibly emotionally taxing, and takes phone calls, research, calender management, and social energy to even begin) can feel, and very much be, impossible for many people, myself included. This won't pertain to everyone, since not everyone needs medication, but for me, mental health was a mountain: therapy, meditation, better eating, going outside, etc were all on that mountain with the goal of better mental health. Medication, to me, was hiking boots. Proper medication enabled me to "climb" the mountain, and do all of the other tasks that contribute to better health, like therapy. I was no longer looking at rocky terrain and trying to climb it barefoot, which felt and truly was unreasonable and impossible. It still took work to "climb" but I had the tools (meds) necessary to at least make it possible. To anyone who felt like I did: don't be afraid to talk to your PCP or psychiatrist about how impossible therapy feels and how you would like some meds to make it a little more doable, even just temporarily. Use the mountain metaphor if it helps them understand.
I hold so much respect for all mental health professionals.
I have OCD. I am definitely not a neat freak.
I have an anxiety disorder but I deal really well with stress.
I have a major depressive disorder but I have periods of enjoyment. And my anti depressant meds allow me to function as me.
Thanks for highlighting many of the problematic issues surrounding mental illnesses and addressing the realities of these conditions sympathetically and factually.
In my experience, the only thing I've felt considerable reservations about sharing with a therapist is when I'm having suicidal ideations and/or self-injury behaviors. I'm never totally sure if they're going to be chill and work with me or go into panic mode. And after 20 years, I feel more confident about being able to identify that kinda stuff in myself and asking for help before I spiral. That's why it's so upsetting when a therapist freaks out. I feel a sense of betrayal and rejection.
@@WatermelonIsBetterThanRice Nah, I've had some great ones who took it in stride. It's just the bad ones that are especially memorable.
Like OCD is not really about cleaning it's a repetitive action that calms anxiety. It's anxiety and unpleasant thoughts and images that you can't control. Another form of OCD is trichotillomania which is what I have. It feels like a vicious cycle.
Fun thing about these personality tests: they can be used to compare groups of People (like People who scored higher on the introvert scale were more likely to ....). This is different from putting somebody in a box as introvert.
Also, I loved the response to "therapy is for the weak"- myth. I'd say that the fact that many are hesitant to go to therapy shows that the ones who do, have overcome a barrier.
あっぷ
Omg. "There are no five stages of loss, it's just a myth." Way back in college, as I enrolled in social work the professors teaching Personality Disorder, Psychology, Case Work - they always taught us about the 5 Stages of Loss and even created an acronym DABDA (Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression then Acceptance). Even during the review for our Licensure Examination, this 5 stages is still on. Oh my. I must share this to my professors when I have contact with them. Thank you for the information!
What was the reaction of the professors you showed this video to?
My mom's father was not a nice person. At his house, they had the vents exposed in the basement. I had hit it by accident and this dude stormed in, and picked me up by my shirt. I was just a child. We hated going to our grandparent's house because of him. He came down with an ALS type disease when I was in 7th or 8th grade. Eventually he could barely talk or move, and it was very sad to see him in that state since he was once so big and strong. But it was a relief when he passed because we could finally enjoy seeing our family.
I have bipolar disorder. I wanna day please don’t be scared to go to a mental hospital/mental unit in the hospital there are no padded rooms they are not gonna chain you from the ankle it’s more like any others room in a hospital if anything it’s a bit more “free” in the sense that you get to wear your pajamas or sweats you wouldn’t make fun of some one who can’t see and goes to get glasses you going to see a psychiatrist is you seeking the help you need.
I lobe my mental illness I love my mind I love my self. Hope you all do too :)
Purple Flamingo I hate myself
I’m sorry but you mean you “love” your mental illness or “loathe” because I actually don’t fully understand. Not to be a grammar nazi but I would just like to understand.
It warms me to know you’re learning to love yourself. Thank you for sharing ^^
Aaron Kasér hey Aaron we can all hate our selfs wether it is because we are bad people and we know it or where you don’t think you are “all that” you have to build a relationship with your self you have to forgive your self you have to work in your relationship with your self respect your self practice self love every day you can work on your self till you become some one you like we will never be perfect or good the point of life is not to be good we are not saints just become a friend to your self hope that help a bit
Krystal Rossi Krystal Rossi hey krystal I don’t know why my key board loves to change love to lobe or maybe it’s my fat fingers also the second sentence I meant to say instead of day 🤷🏻♀️ I could blame it on my key board but I should probably read it again before posting
The devastated by loss one is so true to me. I have never really been sad or mourned losses, I have nearly always brushed it off- aside from three deaths I've experienced. The first was my great granddad's, I was so broken up by his death that it stopped me from allowing me to get close with people, before his death however, I'd shrug off deaths and not really feel anything. The second was the death of a puppy we had. I felt so much guilt because I was so scared of how excited she was that I couldn't spend any time with her, and I regretted it so much since just as I was warming up to her she suddenly died. The third, and most recent one, was when my Nana's wife's dad died. It affected me a lot because I was told that the weeks before he died, he would always talk about me and before he died he said he wanted to see me again. I hadn't seen or spoken to him in years, for selfish reasons on my part. I felt guilt that I was on his mind rather than his own closer family, like his wife and children. I am still affected by all of these, the first happening about about a decade or so ago, the second happening just under a decade. Loss can affect you in so many ways, it won't just make you sad.
I took me nearly a decade to accept my feeling of relief after my mother passed away. She was very abusive and traumatized me for life. Now when I can talk about it openly, I found out that people are less judgmental of it than I thought, and some could really relate...
I was diagnosed with chronic depression and general anxiety disorder. I personally cannot do some things at times because of them. The biggest thing I can't really do is go out with friends when I want. Just because I do have low days with depression and don't wanna leave my couch or bed. And being in crowds sometimes heightens my anxiety to the point I can have a panic attack
I am an avid mental health awareness advocate and spoken word performer, and I love this so much. I travel the country trying to bring that awareness on stages, in classrooms, hospitals, and on my RUclips channel, so I get excited when I see other advocates. 💚❤️
As someone who both has a high stress life and has an anxiety disorder and several phobias, the difference is pretty clear to me between when I'm just super stressed and when I'm dealing with my anxiety. The stress is manageable, and I still feel like I'm in control of myself even if I don't feel in control of what is going on in my life. With the anxiety, I don't feel in control of myself and my own mind. My very sense of the world shifts from one moment to the next and even if I know what I'm feeling is not based in reality, I can't change it. I just have to ride it out.
And with depression, which I also have, for me my depression manifests as a lack of emotion and energy. I don't feel sad, I don't feel anything. So if I were in a depression period and started feeling sad, it would be a sign I was pulling out of it. The depression for me is a big blank hole of nothingness where I withdraw from the world and go into my head and just sink away and don't even realize it is happening. I don't feel anything, either good or bad.
I'm a psychology student.. I try to correct people when they use incorrect terms to describe their condition but I ended up being miss-know-it-all and they continue using those incorrect terms and self diagnosed🙂
It's like if a chemist student decided to correct what people are calling substances, it would be annoying. "Its not salt, its this!" Dont do this. You will be there for the patient not the other way around
@@KillingCrusemsPaige I dont correct when A=B (similarly subsets) and I don't mind being corrected knowing that I'm wrong also I don't correct them when they only do it once but they go around telling everyone educating people or make it in the form of question when they don't want answers.
A: guys.. *explains condition* I don't know what to do..
B: You might have Bipolar Disorder *continues explaining Bipolar disorder as mood swings, alternating between manic and depression also in the form of mood swings*
'it seems like i have OCD I need everything in order, clean and tidy. I have to wash my hand almost all the time too. Seems like I have ot doesn't it?'
and I don't plan to be a psychiatrist
I believe that people can self reflect
I think it’s outstanding that there are 7 some billion of people on earth. And millions of them have dedicated an incredible amount of their time, money for school and training, and literally decades of their life to understand the illnesses and patterns our brain has taken on. And the brain is still mystery. I think that is very brave , and I’m thankful for those who have contributed to what we know now, and for the knowledge yet to come.
Identifying parental influences is a vital part of therapy though, just gotta put emphasis on the fact that it's in the past. Many of my friends who have taken SSRIs long term have ended up with radically different personalities. Be sure to do your own research yall!
With regard to "bad parenting not causing mental illness," we need to be careful. Bad parenting can lead to trauma , which can impact the development of the brain--specifically when you're young.