An INTJ's Experience With Introverted Sensing (Si)
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- Опубликовано: 18 сен 2024
- Introverted Sensing (Si) is weird and this is how I experience it.
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If you're the same person for too long, you stop growing. If you stop growing, you start dying.
11:26 I think its disassociation. We see that stuff as separate from ourselves. Those moments people call "life" are just what happens in between our ideal. Like you remember working on something, but you disregard when you took time from that to have time with friends.
Every 10 years-ish, you are literally not the same person you were before. The person who made those memories laid the groundwork for you to be who you are today.
Technically, we've all been slowing dying since the day we were born but I know what you meant 😂
@justcallmejon22 One could argue that only starts after 20 years old, when your body no longer has a net positive of cells.
@@justcallmejon22sarcasm is off the charts 😂
A Jordan Peterson quote that sticks with me is “it’s ok to feel the way we feel, but we can’t live there”. He was using that when talking about depression and to take the time to feel what you need to feel and then start working towards a way forward.
I feel like that quote can be applied here. Constantly feeling like we need ti improve ourselves , but we don’t need to be living in a constant state of min/maxing our lives. Realizing that is true growth.
I like that quote, thanks for bringing it to my attention 🙏
It's the height of irony that Si is familiar to the Si-doms and novel to the Ni-doms 🤣 The Ni-doms pride themselves on being able to assess and model anything in the world; the more complicated, the better...anything, except the simple comfort of memories.
(Btw, spitballing is great! I love the raw, exploratory, rambling authenticity.)
Anything but life itself 😂
This helps not only INTJs but us INFJs as well, we both have Si as our dead last cognitive function. Neither of us have allot of experience with it. Si illudes us in many many many ways. Also, yes, we Ni doms are the kings and queens of living experiences that never happened. I know my core being never needs to change and maybe that is my Si spot, my core being. The futre is where we are focused so often, the past is where Si doms love to hang. I must admit, running many scenarios in my head of something to find the best possible corse omes natural to us.
Glad to hear that it's similar to the INFJs as well! I wasn't sure how much Fe/Ti affected your grasp of the past 😀
@@justcallmejon22 I can remember the past but I don't usually relive it less I am in extreme stress. I have hit that before and that is when it is truly a demon function. I drove myself temporarily insane from overthinking about the past.
I do think it's an INTJ thing. Ni, as a dominant function, is as natural as breathing to us. We can't shut it up even if we want to at times. I had to have a "quarter-life crisis" in order to realise how underdeveloped my Se is so that I try to reign back my Ni in an attempt to flip the coin more. Se (or is it Fe?) taught me that stagnancy is ok sometimes. It's ok to feel behind in life because you can't control every little chaos that occurs in the real world. You don't have to let Te constantly drive you to improve yourself. Sometimes, it's ok to slow down, connect with the present, and enjoy something in the tangible world just for the sake of enjoying it Fi style.
As fun as it is to be inside my head with Ni all the time, I need to balance it out with Se to feel that I'm actually living and not just dreaming away chasing "what can be." Si is incredibly hard for me, but I don't want to regret not reviewing my past (or taking enough photos anymore), so I force myself to look back into those memories more often, not to criticize who I was before or "what could have been," but to see how much I've improved and actually give myself credit for that. I can't always be a control freak who never shows self compassion.
As with most INTJs, I am a perfectionist in the sense that where I am in the game of life is never good enough; I need to constantly strive for improvement because Ni is always showing me a more appealing future version of myself, of what I can become. Si taught me how to forgive previous versions of myself so that I can look back and actually Se reward myself for all the growth I've gone through. Si gives meaning to my past, showing that all my effort did not go to waste. Si tells me that I've done enough and (maybe Fe tells me that?) I am enough. Where Ni tells me that life is a destination, Se tells me that life is a journey, and Si tells me to value that journey so that life just doesn't pass by my eyes while I try to make my dreams come true.
Having said that, Ni ftw. I am an intuitive at heart. Even my awkward use of Si is in support of my Ni goals. Clearly, I have no idea how to Si quite like everyone else, and I have to accept that part of myself; at least I'm trying to Si.
I love how you attached cognitive functions to your explanation. It is okay to enjoy life, enjoy the present moment, and I'm happy to hear that you arrived to a similar conclusion as myself 🙂
Relatable. Great video!
Thank you 🙏
Thanks for posting even though it's rambly! I've been struggling with all this as well -- 32-year--old INTJ. Letting yourself feel comfortable and not feeling like certain aspects need to be improved...definitely hit home the way you phrased it! I've got an ISFJ mom and I feel like I anytime I "do" Si it's for the sole purpose of stopping her from worrying.
My ESFJ mom can't fathom the way I live and always left my place concerned about me. I now know it's because I don't live up to her Si standards 😂
I am an ENTJ but a lot of this does resonate with me - I can agree that to a certain extent there is some thing about introverted sensing that does tap into a positive sense of nostalgia for me, although generally speaking, I do not look upon the past very favorably, and I actually think it is dangerous to put the past on the pedestal. I think I had this issue with Starbucks for a few years actually - no matter what Starbucks you are in there is a level of consistency and expectations,and no matter what city I was traveling to - and I do travel a lot - it provided that for me. However, someone who is married to an introverted, sensing Dom, I am by no means someone with a lot of introverted sensing, nor do I believe that human beings should have but so much!
I can relate so much to everything that you said. I find taking care of yourself difficult, I feel they're like chores so it blows my mind when I meet people who do it naturally. I feel like not having Si as an INTJ woman is worse cause people expect you to be more caring automatically in everything that you mentioned.
When I think about the past, I either have a lot of blanks like I don't remember at all how it was or that it's negative too. It's a kind of dissociation but when it's about the future, wow, I can definitely imagine different possibilities for hours.
1) Listen how you're talking about that park. It's not Si man. Si is about what you did there, what it means to you. What it was or is for you. You on the other hand from the sounds of it are chasing the feeling. How it made you feel.
2) I think the way how you look at your friends and the past is just you. I personally have never looked negatively or sorry about my past. It's something I had to do to get better, if I didnt make certain mistakes I would've probably made others or the same but later.
3) I think comfort is a function of Se. I feel about it exactly the same as you're describing it: I'm aware of it but it's constantly pushed away by something stronger (Ni). I've also noticed that my comfort requirements have considerably increased with age. Also regularly notice myself admiring (not jealous of, I dont know that feeling) high Se users. I notice that people tend to admire or be jealous of high users of their 4th function A LOT. Plays a big part in attraction too.
4) Oh, the thing about allowing myself to slow down for once and just enjoy the moment. I feels like it was just impossible before. Also, I think that's Se again. Si we're not supposed to ever cognitively acknowledge because it does same things as Ni but in a different way.
I have an ISTJ father and we have butted heads over our differences my whole life, we still do. I figured out some things that Si is for me based on what my father always does and I do so rarely that I cant even catch myself doing that:
- Faith. It's not just religion, but how you approach life. My father actually became religious later in life. I personally dont believe in anything, my father's world is standing on his faith, if it didnt exist he would be lost. He doesnt understand how it's possible to not believe that the Sun wont rise next morning, but I for me it's just a very high probability, and he cant comprehend that.
- Tradition. Desire to fit in. Propensity to focus on how other people see you instead of what you are or can be in the future. All my life I've been against tradition. I've never been able to fit in and never will. I do realize that this is probably the biggest advantage of Si and the reason why Si users are so common: they do what they're supposed to do and dont attact unwanted attention.
- Nostalgia. I dont know that feeling. This could be an ISTJ thing but my ISFJ aunt does this a lot too. It's very funny to hear them talk about past experiences, try and relive them, talk about how cool that moment was as if it just happened.
- Being detail-oriented and the tediousness that comes with it. Ngl pisses me off. Can someone explain why does it matter if it's 15C or 15.5C outside? What does it change? Checking the time every 30 minutes and having a very strong sense of time in general. I guess that's more of a byproduct of being a high Si user, but it's just foreign to me.
One thing that I havent seen to be true that is usually attributed to Si - memory. My memory is miles better than my father's but it's different. My father remembers way less things but what he does remember is in exceptional detail. He can cite texts/poems from memory, remembers details of events that happened 30 years ago, I just remember enough to keep track of the picture, I actually need something to remind me of specifics to remember them.
Yes, SI is very frightening or depressing. If it was a good past experience, I get depressed that I won't experience it right now. If it was horrible, I push it off my head. Plus, I think I need a good memory, a detailed one.
As an INTP and my relationship with Si, I would attribute it to my Ne-Si axis. I like reminiscing in the past. Whether its good or bad. But with Ne, I can look at it from different angles and see what else I can learn from my prior experiences. I can understand and kinda touch upon I had back then, especially the ones that stick out. As all these accumilative experiences shape who I am today and who I will end up being in the future. Even when it comes to sense of direction, once I experience it, I get a good feel of my surroundings as like I'm leaving a trail so that I don't get lost, especially if I'm revisiting it. And I can find comfort in that. Which can also be detail oriented (ofc not perfect).
But as far the function in isolation, I can enjoy sensory experiences (contrary to INXP stereotypes) but its selective. Like I definitely value spending time with my friends (Fe) and even doing some sensory activities. Like for example, I go to the gym but I don't really do it for enjoyment. Just do it to help keep myself in shape alongside the physical and mental health (Si). So there's a maintenance aspect to it. Now it can make me a creature of comfort and can potentially make complacent in my environment or situation. I can adapt to changes to it, as long as the core aspects of my sensory environment more or less remains the same.
It's always interesting talking to an INxP because of what you just mentioned. Ne seems to similar to Ni where it looks at so many possibilities but Ne is still grounded to reality with Si where INTPs tend to be more cautious of the future than us INxJs. I really wish I have Si sometimes 😀
@@justcallmejon22 Think it partially depends on where you're at in life whether you're still in education, focused on career or relationship. But Ne can be such a double-edged sword with the open-mindedness but also the lack of decisiveness.
But going with the gym example I've mentioned, even whilst I'm doing my workouts, I still just think about random stuff thanks to the perceiving axis. Whether its random abstract stuff with Ne or think about the past. But with blind Se, it's hard to say whenever I'm 100% fully present in the moment.
I can’t relate to my infp mom who have in in tertiary slot and uses it childishly like any tertiary function. When she is happy or sad, she likes to look back at the past and talk about the happy moments in life. Living through happy moments and scary moments, timeline goes backwards.That makes her satisfied. Next she likes to listen to childhood songs and she said oh because it’s nostalgic!!!
For me, I cannot relate to that but I try to understand her.
I like to think about what I want. When I am not doing anything, I would go into Ni mode and see things that I planned for will happen. Like how I am going to do certain stuff and how to make sure I do it. Or I would think about what a certain thing means like what people say.
I notice that my memories will be acessed through seeing something tangible and the memory rarely pop up, but if it does, it’s negative, like not learning from past mistakes.
I think it’s important for us to make peace about the past and move on, focus on improving ourselves, even if we can’t learn from past mistakes. The world is changing and many opportunities awaits.
I agree with your last sentence. Making peace with your past and acknowledging that it helped shape you into who you are today is important for self-improvement. I enjoy listening to people talk about their Si sometimes, it's nice to hear someone talk about something that brings them joy 🙂
I've been learning a lot of similar lessons you've learned, that it's okay when not everything has to change or to improve for some ideal better. It's like coming to peace with the Se moment and letting it be ingrained into my Si afterwards, and making good memories, until the next thing happens.
I guess I've been working so much on myself this year, and it feels strange when my growth has finally plateaued these past couple months. My knee-jerk reaction has been like "Okay, what's the next scary-exciting thing to improve on?" but what I needed to do now is just chill and enjoy life after all the progress I've already made.
How does life feel finally arriving to that realization?
Feels a lot more chill than I imagined. There's still goals to achieve, but I'm not rushing to get them done and be more in tune with what my body and mind needs. Or maybe because I'm getting older and nearing 30. 😅
36/M/OK/INTJ For me:
#5. Ne makes me paranoid about other people's intentions.
#6. Ti makes me self-critical and second guess my understanding.
#7. Fe (What are social cues?)
#8. Si makes me dwell on negative past experiences.
It just all seems negative the lower it gets 😂
@@justcallmejon22 lmao 🤣
@@justcallmejon22 The funny thing here though is that (a) it's relatable, at least for me, and (b) this "loadout" actually makes Si stronger/more-used by-default than Fe, and (c) this fits in [somehow, I'm only starting to see some connections] with the book _“Quiet: The Power of Introverts”_ describing how introverts have more sensitive nervous-systems and seek to decrease [and control] stimuli [w/ extroverts seeking to increase stimuli], trauma-research indicating that some trauma is "stored in the body/nervous-system", the connection between Si and bodily sense-memory, and the INTJ's poor mind-body connection - it's almost like the Si function is "too strong/intense" and thus the instinctually treated like stimuli when you're overstimulated: avoid as much as possible, but it can still "bleed through". - See also youtube video: _"Introverted Intuition as Memory (Richard Owen at BAPT 2018)"_
Someone mentioned Bebe's book and a "Clash of Titans" being the interplay between functions #1 & #8, and that may be in-play as well; I'd have to read the book to really see though.
It’s an “avoindant attachment” thing.
We lived the same life. i literally can just sleep on the floor if i'm too tired to get to bed after work, but my mom (ESFJ) would scream at me if i do that.
I also have a bad memory and feels weird everytime i look at old pics, either trying to remember how it happened or just denying that memory cause i remember it being a bad time. I have a hard time recalling people's face, even my own face, it will take a lot for me to do.
Si however do come back at me with songs i listen to. I have playlists on spotify of each year i discover the songs to. And i always come back to playlist year 2017 for no reason.. but now as i listened to your story, i realized that that year was a good year before life got very confusing for me, and the songs gives me good feelings. I guess it made sense now.
I swear having an ESFJ mom is both the best thing and worst thing for INTJs because they really do help us develop our lower functions early in life 😂
@@justcallmejon22So true! literally forced me into it, but gave me a good social cue skill and help me wanting to keep my room tidy at least
I can tell that I don't like to dig in my past, because (like you) I don't like the past version of myself. However, I've been working a lot with that since I have seen that it helps me to understand better the way I behave or how I am feeling about a certain situation .
Would past you be proud of who you are today?
@@justcallmejon22 I don't think so. Past me was different, with different purposes, now I have more information. I want to believe I've grown (still growing) as a person in general.
I can say that the present me is grateful for allowing past versions of me were that way, since they are the (continuous) base of who I am right now.
Yeah it's the same for me as an INFJ, living in my imagination of the possible future is way too comfortable, instead of actually doing things to change my present state.. And I love moving, maybe because I'm seeing it as starting a new chapter and moving away from the past me that I'm not too happy with. It's really difficult to find a balance and be content with the present, but as we mature and grow at least it gets better 😌
I resonate with the new chapter statement. I feel like a phoenix and every move is another rebirth knowing that one day I'll return back to ashes 🐦
Hi, it's not a you thing, when I think about past I think about how stupid and small in mind I was. Future on the other hand, oh my, all the possibilities make me tingle xd. I'd also like to thank you for these videos, they bring a sense of being understood.
Thank you for the support and you're not alone 🙂
I noticed Si users love to take pictures of everything they love photos
I personally don’t understand or they get sentimental
I've learned to take more photos because of them and it's been one of the improvements that I'm glad I incorporated into my life 🙂
I think it's more of an Ni thing, Ni dom especially
But I guess it's also INTJ specifically, since I think it's kind of connected to Fi
ISFJs can ,,live" through the memory better than ISTJs, I think it's because Fe helps ISFJs to also remember external world, engaging w other people and ect, which also kind of helps to understand and memorie the overall,,mood" of the memory
The negativity about past could be because of the lack of Si, and Ni's want of future instead, but to be honest, I'm not sure, it could also be just a ,,you" thing, haha
Since, I mean, we all have different experiences, right? And also, our types are one of the factors that ,,decide" how we'll feel about them, and how we'll react to them
But still, we live differently, so it's kind of difficult to truly understand which of the things are nature, which one's are nurture, and what it is connected to - like, even tho I believe that we have our type ,,from birth", I do think it's boty nature AND nurture, because...what if we have some function stack that is more stronger, but then we developed our type in childhood years, both by personal growth, AND outside factors?
We'll never know, probably
Not before MBTI will be studied more, and be proven as 100% scientificly valid, so people will take it more seriously and actually do studies on that
I agree that a person is more than MBTI and that nurture plays a huge part in development. I also think that personality can never fully be 100% scientifically valid since it's a person's experience so there's a level of 'trust me bro' that we have to accept is part of the system 😂
@@justcallmejon22 Haha, yeah, I guess that's true
But just because it isn't scientific, DOESN'T mean it's not real and isn't actually working, haha
Hey john can you create community where we communicate each other as intj(like discord or other website etc it might me good to me cause i want to hear what other intj do and experiencing our functions do and have some tips or trick to this function and improve it. you get what i mean( its okay if you dont have to)
I've thought about it but I'm not sure if I want to be responsible if anything negative happens in the discord 😔
@justcallmejon22 I understand its only for intj community...if someone being negative about it ...we make sure to give them warning or kicking out of community.. you don't have too.... its your choice, for me taking responsibility is better way👍
How weird.
While I get the "relive it" aspect, another video was presenting Si as being associated with long-term memory, and another associated it with duty.
And your _"relive that past experience"_ of Si description contrasting with the _"[re]live that future experience"_ of Ni makes for a weirdly beautiful symmetry.
Si is all the above, cognitive functions affect the user in many ways and I only talked about the ones that was on my mind in this video. I agree, it really is a beautiful symmetry 🙂
@@justcallmejon22 Another difference/similarity that strikes me, and I'd like external confirmation, is _relive_ (Si) vs _replay [w/ possible alternates]_ (Ni).
I'm sure you've had at least one incident, maybe an argument, where you replay it again and a gain ("running the simulation") to try to do better, whether that's winning the argument or not damaging the relationship - it seems to me that the Si _relive_ is more of a "reexperience" where the sensations themselves are replayed, with Ni, it seems that it's the situation/idea (and possibly emotions, probably Fi chipping in) that are in-play.
Thoughts?
I have a question: When do certain types get along and when don't? Which theory is true (in your opinion)? Theory from Hitostat or Boo or TypeMatch or Truity? Every of their have different opinion about relations. For example Boo shows that the best math for esfp is istj, isfj, isfp. However TypeMatch shows that istj and isfj is not good match for esfp, but isfp intj entj infj is good.
There are many reasons why people get along and type isn't the only reason behind it. I got close to an ESFJ and ESFP because we were raised in the same community, an ENTJ and INTP because we were nerds in high school, an ESTJ and ENFP because we were in a class together and we vibe really well for some reason. Don't look for types, look for people you vibe with because those people will be more open to dealing with your flaws.
Interesting 🤔 it sounds like you're comfortable with discomfort.
Does being comfortable make you feel vulnerable or exposed in a way? Like you're unprepared for something?
I'm not sure if it's feeling comfortable that makes me vulnerable but more along the lines of it not crossing my mind. But I do want to make sure that there's always a level of comfort that I'm seeking but it's more like safety whereas the little things like food, room temp, and dehydration is usually an afterthought 😅
Yes I have this. Do you have any advice? I’m an intj.
I only just now noticed you have a tattoo like dafuq?
😅
are you moving often because you want change Ne or moving a lot because its a learned habit and a yearly routine Si ?
I'm moving because this life situation doesn't align with my goals 😢
@@justcallmejon22 Just for MBTI analytical fun and obviously I really dont know you so I can be dead wrong but Iam going to put forth the possibility that no matter what your goals are you will still want to move every aprox 2 years but its out of habit and not connected to goals and that habit may undermine you because Si 8th has undermining energy operating from the shadow for INTJ. Just for fun I am putting this idea out. I like your videos.
@@stu6097I do this, do you have any advice?
@@natatattful IMO Just be aware that you are doing it and why you are doing and know that if you are an INTJ that doing that could be working against you if you arent moving for good reason other than out of habit.