Loneliness & Finding it hard to make friends | GIRL TALK Q&A
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 8 фев 2025
- Answering your questions and chatting about coping with feeling lonely and how you can try to make friends when it feels really difficult.
My Vlog channel - / thesammimariashow
My Blog - www.samanthamar...
Instagram - / samanthamariaofficial
Twitter - / samanthamaria
Facebook - / sammimaria
Snapchat - sammi.maria
Contact me:
Business & Collaboration Enquiries - Sammi@gleamfutures.com
PR Enquiries - samanthamariaofficial@gmail.com
_________________________________________________
This video is so good because honestly no one talks about how difficult it is to make female friends. Everyone expects girls to have a massive group of girlfriends and I've never had that and so sometimes I really yearn for that connection.
I hear you. I've not had any female friends since high school - I'm 27 now. The time will come hun x
I think its more so about friends in general than female friends. I yearn for that connection too but I think its just that a lot of people our age are busy with work and starting families and also just have this feeling they dont need any new friends that it can be hard to get to know anyone. Hopefully something comes through for us
I agree!
I’m 30 and feel the same exact way! My connections aren’t that close and it feels harder to do the older you get. Everyone is so busy no matter how much you try to reach out.
Same here!
Another thing I find difficult as a woman: meeting male friends without them starting to flirt and the relationship getting ambiguous!
Yeeeeesssssss!
YESS. Ive lost so many friends this way 😭
undertherowantree -Rowan me tooooo
@@rushelleporteous3630 I know! Guys why cant we just be friends 😣 Being friendly to a guy doesn't have to mean I'm into him. I just want to be friends 😭
That stuff always backfires. Guys are good friends to have for a short while though lol.
I'm 25 and I feel like I have no friends, it's so much harder when youre older.
I'm 38 and I've met my two best friends and soul sisters when I was 28.
It's not, just join a club! Like a cycling club.
Same! I'm 25 and I have 1 "friend" from high school but we text every other day. Besides that... I don't hang out with anyone rn
A Beauty Tale this gives me hope! lol.
Same! It's super hard!
This video made me cry, I don’t now why but I’ve struggled feeling connected to people for years. I felt so much less alone while watching this, and relieved that there are others feeling this way too.
we BE bekah me too. I’ve been so lonely for years and I’m 20 years old
Yeah, this made me emotional too. At least you're not alone lol
Give me ideas on how to make a friend
I cant connect with people at all, i can talk to people (most of the time) but i cant seem to truly connect. Im 34, my age by this point im expected to have kids etc.
Raiken Xion Same here. I always have the feeling that I’m not interesting enough. Also I’m to late for kids 😔 what I notice is, that everybody lives in a rush, no quality time, competing with each other and whit a society like this it’s very hard to find real friends. So I give up on making friends.
I always feel embarrassed that I don’t have many friends. It’s so nice to know that someone I admire struggles with the same thing. I don’t see many other people talking about loneliness, I think it’s really taboo. Thanks for making stuff around the subject ❤️
I hope you've been able to make some friends and you're doing okay. I'd be your friends if you wanted :)
My case is weird, i think haha. I don't find that difficult to make friends, but i find really difficult is to keep those friendships, because somehow, when time passes, i feel like I don't have anything of any interest left to tell them, so i feel i get boring with time, but when i meet people, I'm very talkative and then i feel very shy and boring. I'm kind of an introvert person so, I don't feel like talking or chatting with my friends all the time as some people and i feel like i'm a weirdo because of that, and that way i feel like i get distanced with my friends.
Omg this is my problem as well. I make friends fast, but loose them just as fast
Wow this is me as well!
Oh my gosh this speaks to me!!
Ohmygod ... This is my prblm as well..
omg, u took the words right out of my mouth! I feel ya girl!
Loneliness truly needs to be talked about more. I recently posted a vid speaking about why I didn't like uni and the main reason was social isolation and loneliness - and I guess that's a similar thing when you work from home/for yourself. I felt ashamed of feeling lonely for a long time, so I'm really glad you posted this video Sam! I hope it opens up the conversation on it. You're so right, even if you're an introvert, as humans we need social interaction to thrive :-) xxx
Cruelty-Free Becky yes! I agree with you even if we are introverts we still need connection💕
I’m in the same boat. I’m in my final year now but have been battling with loneliness since I was a fresher 😞
emrose 96 it’s so
Hard to make real connections isn’t it? I really hear you. Sending you my love ❤️
I'm 26 years old and just went back to uni, all my old colleagues have finished already and I never got to know them that well anyway, so now I'm just lonely in there, I wait for classes to begin alone, sit alone, and in the end I take the train home all by myself. even though half the students take the train too.
What a lovely comment! I really appreciate it
I have been feeling this A LOT, feels like people don't want to make friends anymore or invest time, I hate the 'small talk friendships that should not really be called friendships' type thing and I really don't have many female friends and it sucks.
I’m in the exact same boat
Ghaniza W i felt this man we should be friends 😭😂 we are in the same problem
I feel u
It sucks and sometimes it’s a blessing 😉
I feel the same way😕
I’m 24. Nether really had close friends, or best friends (male or female). Yes i do go out some other time, but these people are not friends. I had friends over the years, but heh never lasted ? I wonder why. It feels like i am the one making the effort to reach to people, not the other way. Like i am never the priority ? Loneliness does get me sometimes. But i have accepted now that i am not a social butterfly 😊
Your comment describes me perfectly. I also found people just always being really flaky when I do try to hang out with people. That's worse than being alone.
You're so young. My Life started at 23. ;)
Athena Co me too but I’m happy I am finding comfort in the loneliness
Athena Co same I'm 24 lost all the few friends I had over the years don't get why. Possibly people change we grow apart etc. And I'm always reaching out to keep the connection but they don't in my opinion a relationship only works with fair share of work. To hold it up. So if they ain't gonna make effort for you... you deserve better. I'm 24 also and I'm just hoping il meet the right new people some how. It's sad being young and lonely because you want to be out and young and free.
And I also have friends who aunt really friends i would be in their company but be feeling lonely and that's the worst
You should create a Girl Talk meetup group where we all meetup and chat somewhere for a bit every now and then. Beat that loneliness! I would definitely love to do this. I find it particularly hard finding people interested in beauty fashion etc etc. There's not really groups for that as such.
Great idea. Or a discord.
Omg yes!!!
I feel like loneliness is going to be the next taboo topic that's going to need attention in the next coming up years, I'm guilty of pushing people to the side and making zero time for interaction with others but it should be treated just as important as sleeping or eating loneliness can make u miserable.
of course, humans are social creatures. with the way things are going, not having those interactions will be the death of the human race. just look at japan. everyone is slowly turning into japan. not leaving our house/apartment, high suicide rates, no longer procreating.
When I was at uni, it was so hard to make friends as I was so shy and awkward
Same, social anxiety.
Yes, everyone says it's so easy to make friends at uni but it wasn't the case for me
Currently in Uni with the same problem
Me, and i'm in my last year lol
So how did it end when did u make friends ??? Im awkard tooo and shy and have anxietyyyy :(
This video came just when I needed it. I have watched you for years and just want to say that you were one of the people that made me want to start making videos! 💘
Maximiliane Hansen same here! Her relaxed attitude made feel me as though I can make RUclips videos too! Her shyness gives you confidence to be yourself...
Love your channel too Maxine ❤️❤️❤️
Totally me also! Xx
me too
Oh my gosh me too!!! Haha! Seeing how Sam was just naturally herself gave me a boost of confidence and I realised that my relaxed chilled out personality would still work and that just because I wasn’t extroverted didn’t mean I couldn’t still be somewhat interesting! I Love Sammi! 🙋🏽💖
I am 25 and at home since I was 15 because of a chronic illness. I had lots of friends and turned out they weren’t real friends because they all left me. I’ve got nobody from before I was sick. I do have a few friends now who I met while I was already sick. 2 of them I actually met on Twitter. Facebook groups are also a good place to make friends because mostly you already have at least one thing in common that interests you. But yeah, it’s very hard to make new friends, especially REAL ones; the ones you can count on when some things go wrong in your life. When you start thinking about it it’s really sad that so many of us are/feel lonely..
❤️
Lyn DS hiii :) I am 22 and have a chronic illness as well, I got ill at 12 and I find it to be quite the isolating thing to go through, because a) it keeps you from being able to do things with your friends most of the time and b) it feels as though you‘re the only one going through something like that because so few people our age have serious illnesses... wishing you all the best x
Same here xx
I'm the same! I'm so sorry to hear that this has happened to you. I've suffered a lot of trauma and mental illness and I had an ear infection that went wrong when I was 13. My body shut down and I became chronically ill and have been ever since. I'm 23 now. I'm so fatigued and in pain all of the time. I don't have a Full-Time Job I just couldn't cope with that. So I'm home all of the time. I do go to Comic Cons so that's how I've made friends and even though I rarely see them, it's one of the best things ever. If it wasn't for that I don't think I'd be here right now. I'm always here if you need someone to talk to x
Lyn DS wow I felt like I was reading my story! I’m 27 and I have a chronic illness and similarly to you people just left ...
I just scrolled down the comments and yours jumped out at me since I got ill at 15 and I am now 25 too, lost SO many friends along the way due to my illness. Like you I eventually met ones later on in life who also have a chronic illness and we connected but mostly only about the illness. I realised I lost a huge sense of 'who' I was because I could no longer do the things I loved so I didn't have hobbies to talk about and share and connect about. I am so grateful to have found a programme that actually helped me to get better now, and 11 months in I am getting my life back.
For me, I had severe fatigue, joint pains, muscular pains, headaches, brain fog, mood swings, depression, anxiety, and a host of other things including allergies. After years of trying various expensive things I started to follow the advice of CFS Health Recovery here on youtube, basically getting a really good self care routine in place and learning to calm my flight or fight nervous system down enough so that I could heal. Also Ashok Gupta Amygdala retraining has been SO vital to me, I am now able to walk my dog and do yoga every day, and manage my housework and cooking regularly. Whereas before I couldn't even make a meal or take a shower without being wiped out with pain and exhaustion. I have a small way to go to feeling 100% well but in just 6 months I was realising I was getting better and it has gone uphill since then. Just wanted to share and thank you for your comment too, as it is something rarely spoken about but it affects many of us
About wanting things to go from 0-60, I'm the same. I feel like we have an idea of exactly what we want in a friend too and it means we rule people out unless we see what we want from the get to but without giving everyone a chance we won't discover it in someone. One of the best things I've heard is that anyone who shows kindness or interest however small qualifies, that's it, they're a potential friend and we should follow it up 💕
It’s funny to see so many other people saying “this came at the perfect time!” Because that is exactly how I feel. I just broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years and it’s so surprising how having a significant other kind of blinds you of the state of your personal friendships. I initially thought that I was being picky with my friendships but this definitely confirms that that is not the case. What helped me recently is reading a Quora post that said “be comfortable with doing uncomfortable things”. Obviously it’s not easy for us to join new clubs/activities/etc but to just put yourself out there is so important for your mental health! Even if it doesn’t work out sometimes, 9/10 times you will gain an experience from it! I personally need to start doing this but I’ve begun to reach out to acquaintances that I get a long with to try and create deeper connections!
Complimenting people is also a great way to start conversations with people!! Works for me so much! & I loved this video babe xxx
I'm 27 and and yes I think it is a lot harder making friends the older you get but another thing is that I'm also very picky nowadays on who I would consider a friend. I've been back stabbed so many times by so called "friends" and I'm left jaded and I always expect the worst from people so for now It'll just be my dogs my husband and I
@DENICE LOVES Yes he does mention it here and there but he understands where I'm coming from as well
GENERALLY ..Girls don't make friends on internet due to thinking that they will find cringey guys because girls faced a lot those guys. Some Boys act like creeps on internet and ask directly anything which pisses off every girl.
P.S. I am not part of that shit becz studies sucks sometimes although age 26 😅 because every girl here half of my age like .. around 11-19. And diffrent generations.😆😀.
Honestly I think when it comes to friendships you just need to get out of your comfort zone and just trust the process, overthinking something has never worked for anyone so just drop it and do your thing and I think the right people will start coming into your life and remember at some point in life you’re gonna feel lonely as hell but other times you’ll feel like a popular princess so just relax, focus on yourself and be happy
judy hattar thx sis
judy hattar preach mamas 🙏🏾
GENERALLY ..Girls don't make friends on internet due to thinking that they will find cringey guys because girls faced a lot those guys. Some Boys act like creeps on internet and ask directly anything which pisses off every girl.
P.S. I am not part of that shit becz studies sucks sometimes although age 26 😅 because every girl here half of my age like .. around 11-19. And diffrent generations.😆😀.
This is so accurate for me especially bc of social anxiety. And so each time someone ask me to see each other, I always convince myself to not go for the reason that I never feel like it! Thank you so much for sharing this with us! Lots of love xx
Sometimes you do that. You just need to put that extra effort.It is not easy.
Honestly i am not actively looking for friends. I enjoy just talking and sharing with people and leaving it as that. My mom is my best friend tho, i know that she always has my best interest and it's the same for me. Everyone is different but I personally don't need much friends. I don't force friendships i believe that it happens quite naturally when 2 people click and with time of course. For me to call someone a friend it takes time, i don't use that term loosely anymore. I'm really impressed by the amount of people who don't have friends or much friends in the comment section. I really thought i was a weirdo lol! OH well even if i am! I'll love my weirdo self 😍
I honestly thought I was just a weirdo too but I wish that everyone in these comments could link up and b friends :(
I am just like you I am so to my parents and my family. Can count my close friends on my hand but I like it my way❤️
Omg your literally me I have no real friends @ the age of 29 I’m friends with my mom and BFFS with my sister somebody I know will never stab me in the back or hurt me!! And I have three daughters so I really don’t feel lonely lol 😂
You are the most authentic RUclipsr ever Sam!! I love you so much I enjoy your videos soooo
I'm very introverted. My bff got bored and left me. I have 2 other "friends" but I always feel left out. I feel so lonely😭
I went to a party about two months ago and I was alone eating my donut. The people there asked: Why don't you go to your friends and have fun?
I told them I was about to go to them because I was too ashamed to tell them that I actually don't have friends.
Sorry, english isn't my first language😓
I feel the same way, ive been in similar situations several times :(
Lol
Ik how you feel I'm in the exact same situation rn
Samesituation why 😭
I am thirty. I’ve had lots of “friends”, made them in school, during trips or through jobs. The truth is making friends is easy, what is difficult is making real friends, trustworthy, not jealous of you. At my age that starts to seem like something rather impossible.
I love these videos so much because it just feels like we're having a chat with a good friend or older sister or something and I think they genuinely help so many people
Loving these chatty videos so much, they’re so helpful and give me reassurance that no one is alone with their struggles! Xx
i really needed this right now. i've recently started uni and for the first time in my life i have found it difficult to make female friends - it's really helpful to aww that i'm not alone in feeling like this.
This video was done nearly a year ago and it connects with me so much. Since college I’ve never had a close knit of friends and it gets me down, even till this day. I feel so lonely sometimes and just crave that female connection, just to have a long talk about girly things etc. One of the main ways too make friends is to do things/activities outside your comfort zone. So, that’s what I’m going to do. I wish it was easy.
I'm a lot older than you, but I just love listening to your chats. You are so wise for such a young women.
I absolutely love that you brought up this topic! And after reading through the comments, it’s clearly a topic that speaks to a LOT of women! I am 43 years old and have two children that are older now. Their dad and I divorced around 15 years ago and the kids have gone back n forth week on, week off for pretty much all that time. When we were married we a group of like close couple friends. But when we divorced it seemed like all our friends kind of scattered. I feel like they couldn’t relate to us anymore and/or like they didn’t want to have to choose between us perhaps.
My kiddos are now 22 & 16 and they have their own lives and their own friends, so now It’s my turn to define myself as an individual, you know. Figuring out who I am separate from being a mom or a wife. And don’t get me wrong I really love it I feel like I’m finally getting to know myself better. I went through a period of years where it felt like I was living almost a double life. I would go from being a single, mom working full-time one week and the the next week I was a just single woman. Most of the friends I made were other singles because all the moms I knew were also wives and did things with their husbands or their couple friends. When my kids were with their dad I was going out a lot for one bc I absolutely hated being in my house alone when the kids weren’t their and for two I was trying to meet people etc. I eventually grew tired of that life. At some point I kind of took a step back and reevaluated a lot of the “friendships” I had at that point. And what I determined in large part, was that they were really shallow friendships, based mostly on going out and drinking etc. At that point I just sorta stopped contacting those folks and started finding things I liked to do alone. I feel like overall it was a really good decision and I learned a lot about my self and even started a few new hobbies. And learned to enjoy being alone with myself and not feeling lonely. However it’s been quite a few years now and I feel like I kinda overcorrected and now I feel like I’ve become really introverted and lonely.
I’ve just moved to uni and this video came at the right time. Thank you so much Sammi❤️
Your Jorja Smith shirt is so lit and your curls are beautiful, but deeper than that I really resonated with this topic. I literally die for female friends lmao, I LOVE fashion and beauty but I've dealt with a ton of bullying/catiness in college that left me super isolating myself and kinda not having any close gfs /: THANK YOU for the advice babe XO
I’m 22 and it feels like that I can maybe never have friends because when I was a child I had a hard time socialising and now I feels it’s harder to make friends when you grow up . But honestly I’d love to have a close bond with people and it’s so important for women to have some strong female bonds in her life .
Mee to I’m 21 😞
I love these girl talk videos - who else loves the cosy vibes?😍❤️
evie mae me me me
I would be your friend in a heartbeat 😍😍
I have always had social anxiety and I've struggled with it more after having my son. I have a lovely mother's group but always find myself making excuses to why I cant catch up. Really need to push myself
@@lifeofjeannebromley2606 its sosweet of u to take the time to write such a long post to help make some ones day. I hope u have a beautiful blessed day.😘
I have social anxiety and I've always struggled to make friends too. I only really have 2 or 3 close friends, and of those one has a young family so is often too busy to meet up much and the others I don't see that often as they live too far away. I have a yoga class which I go to once a week and it's good cos it helps me to socialise a bit and everyone is lovely, but I haven't really made any friends there. Honestly just think I'm destined to be alone sometimes.
I find that it is also really hard to actually meet people you genuinely connect with, not just a friendship struck for the sake of not being alone. I dunno, it's hard
I remember the first month of living alone. I was so happy at first and then just one night, I cried so hard. I’ve never felt that lonely before. It’s better now.
I'm so glad you talked about this. :) The struggle be so real and people sometimes treat you like you're odd if you're not good at making friends or don't have alot. It makes a person not want to talk about it with anyone. Could be good to make a video about being socially awkward or socially anxious and trying to date because that also can be a huge struggle for young women. Social anxiety has been kicking my ass since I was a child and I CANNOT seem to remain calm while being pursued or approached by men, I get really really nervous! LOL, I either lie about being taken or try to find some way out. 😅
This video has come at the right time!
Absolutely needed this video. Left school nearly 2 years ago and went straight into full time work with everyone who works there being a lot older than me, so I haven’t been able to bond with anyone my age since school friendships fizzled away. If anyone lives in the south east and is looking for genuine friendships then let me know! x
Fiona Dawn insta?
shan m fiona.db x
Pretty much same. All my coworkers are twice my age.
I’m also up for meeting new people, is it alright if I follow you on insta ? xx
I feel scared of being friends with girls.. always ends up in some sort of drama :/
dealing with girl is tiring most of the time
but yeah,I believe you can do it!
Yes, always have that one friend that's jealous and bossy so she tries to take you away from a good friend
Absolutely love this! I’ve been really struggling with this whilst at uni. Talked it out with someone this summer and she thought that I’m more ahead of people in maturity as I’m in a long term committed relationship, whereas a lot of people want to just party, drink and want to be single. Also, I’m a huge introvert and need to spend quite a lot of time alone. I do have a few solid friendships and I really cherish them as well xx thank you for sharing this. Makes me feel like I’m not alone I’m feeling this way 💖
It's sad to say but a lot of women look at one another as competition. I experienced that a lot in my life. Not with my male friends. Its hurtful because you want to have a good girlfriend like you see on TV. When you're a sweet heart and good hearted person it's even harder, people will use you. Not to mention when you're beautiful.
Love this!!! I have always struggled and for years I thought it was me. It’s taken me so many years to figure out I’m not alone and not everyone is miss popular or that you need a ton of friends to be happy. Xx
your content is such an amazing variety! 🤗
Thanks so much!
@@SamanthaMaria I am 37 with 3 children,married and own my business and I have loss touch with my old friends but have made so many friends from starting to play netball. Going the first time was hard but I haven't looked back I play 3 times a week for 2 different teams. So get to see friends, get fresh air and exercise
You’re absolutely right about being used to quick gratification of things! I always forget that building up relationships takes a lot of time and effort. Thank you for speaking about this
Needed this so bad, thank you 💖 I’ve felt so lonely for years since friends moved away or just drifted apart and I don’t know how to make friends with new people without feeling weird or annoying.
Thanks for making me feel that little bit less lonely 💜
Im dying to makes some friends i feel lonely as well and i cry as well
Same with me):
This is SUCH a relatable topic! I've moved country and cities a few times and I found the best way to make friends was through online groups? Especially if you move country, have a look on Facebook for groups of people doing the same thing as you or other students ect. Honestly I found it easier to find people to be friends with when I moved away than I have done at home! People in those groups tend to be really keen and friendly cause you're all in a similar boat. Hope this helps! xx
I havent had a friend for 2 years now 🤷🏻♀️ my husband is the only one I spend time with. Also I have anxiety disorder so.......nit really easy to meet anyone
I pray that your anxiety gets better :)
Same❤️
I'm sorry :( I also have an anxiety disorder so I understand where you are coming from.
I’m currently still in uni, but I had to move from South Africa to Norway for my studies! I was suuuuper hard and really lonely in the beginning, especially making new friends in a new country.
What really helped me was living in student accommodation for my 1st year, so I’d definitely advise that to anyone starting university 💕 it puts you in the perfect position to meet new people and just get chatting to those around you experiencing the same thing. Usually people in student accommodation aren’t familiar with the place either. Another thing that helped was joining a few “societies” at the school, for example the business society or the bartending society etc. join the gym too! You never know.
Try to put yourself out there and make sure you’re in environments where you can naturally meet new people 😊☀️ it’s hard but not impossible! xxx
I absolutely LOVE these girl talks/chatty videos please continue making them!
Are you kidding me? Just travelling around on my own and feeling SO lonely. This video is just what I needed! Trying to meet someone to travel with, but also being to impatient and maybe trying to hard. So, for the past few days I felt like such an unsocial person even though I know that I'm not such a person... Whatever, good to know I'm not the only one. Thanks for being so open. ❤️ Have been watching your videos since many years and still loving them!
I find it hard to make friends because most people seem really boring to me (sounds arrogant i know) and i kinda value my alone time over spending time with them. There are a few people who i love to spend time with and never stop talking or just enjoy being together but finding new people that i relate and bond on a level i feel like spending actual time with is difficult. I don't miss socializing as i have a lot of hobbies i like to do after work.. idk..
I understand perfectly. It's just very difficult to find someone you click with!
This is me!! Thanks for sharing, I’m glad I’m not the only person who feels like this! 😂
This is totally me 😂😂😂 I have such a big personality! & most people are boring.
Same😭
This is sooo relatable. I make friends easily but there are few i find that i can truly relate to and bond with. Theres nothing wrong with what you just mentioned it shows your relationships are not based on superficial reasons. I love that!
I feel like my mom when she was in college in the 80s had such a good time - and I do have some great friends but somehow I am afraid to ask them to go and do something, a sort of anxiety that they are going to reject me. Moreover, I have the pain in the chest too, the feeling as though you should cry but there are no tears. I find the best solution is keeping oneself busy, and actively putting effort into maintaining frienships. Great video Sammi. :)
OMG I love your T-shirt, I want one😻😻❤️ I just wanted to say that is really hard to make friends at uni especially when you’re a girl. Us girls should be more united and not divided as we are.
Dee Chaves so true ❤️❤️❤️
highly appreciate this vid! honestly, thank you for opening up about something SO MANY OF US go through and think constantly about, even those of us who are extroverts. meeting people can sometimes be pretty easy, but making lasting connections is way harder. but when you do make genuine connections, it's such a treasure :)
This is a really great video. The older I got the harder it is for me to make friends..
I love how you point out the immediate gratification idea! Great point.
This video was perfect timing for me! I’m hitting my mid twenties and life has taken a turn, I’ve split up from my boyfriend and I’m living alone in what was our flat in a town that I don’t know anyone and my family and friends are all hundreds of miles away!
It’s a tough lesson to go through and it’s hard to approach people but this video was so helpful so not feel so alone in my situation 💞
Also thank you for using your platform to speak candidly about the topic of loneliness.
I always try to highlight that it's not just the elder generation and that anyone of any age can be affected by it and that it's not brought upon by the individual and that all circumstance come into play.
Ahhh Sam. Im 19 & just started a new job and I feel lonely/anxious, because I dont really have any friends and people pressure me a lot to make friends & have a life. So thats whats on my mind, and find it so hard. I need to focus on bettering myself first and foremost and then friends will come along. And like you said, I expect to click instantly with the person but sometimes thats not how it goes & thats okay. You just made me feel a whole lot better about my life. I adore you, thank you Sam❤️
P.S. I feel like I missed this news, but does Sam not have riley anymore? I thought she had both riley and Franklin?
Allie Marie lets be friends!💗 i have no friends and find it hard to make and maintain friends because of my social anxiety which sucks! I just wanna be normal and have friends and have a life. P.S congrats on the new job!
I feel the same really, it's nice to see people connecting in the comments
Omg same, I’m 19 aswell and my boyf keeps saying that it’s weird that I don’t have friends like pressuring me to have friends... it’s not really intentional 🤷🏻♀️ I would love to have friends just find it hard to connect with most people unfortunately
This has come at the perfect time. I've just moved to Amsterdam for study and I've been finding this the hardest move I've ever made. I love lone traveling and long time periods to myself. I feel like my independent streak that I've always relied on to get me through is being tested. I just want to settle in and make friends but I feel so out of place. I miss my friends and family. I'm gonna try and stay positive but I've really never felt so down and alone. Thank you for your honesty love the vids have been watching for YEEEAAARS!
thank you for being so honest in a topic that I definitely deal with, it's so hard and when you do make friends, the friendship don't last or they don't feel genuine and then you have to cut them off but in doing so you're back to square one again , it's a crazy cycle but glad to know I'm not alone and that perhaps it's something we all deal with from time to time!
I totally agree with you when you say that we live in an age of instant gratification and it makes people impatient. I've noticed that I'm the type of person that's kind of shy and will feel a person out first before I get comfortable and start being myself. I think a lot of people get bored of that really quickly and don't want to take the time to get to know me and wait for me to open up. Its really sad and I wish people weren't so reliant on social media, it really does effect your ability to socialize in person
This video came into my feed when I needed it! This is so weird! I'm super shy and I it's really hard for me to make friends. Specially when you get older. I'm 35 and have no friends and I put a lot of pressure on myself for that.....I'm glad that I'm not the only one.....Thank you
I feel you so much on the whole "quick gratification age" and the "feeling of working on something" thing
Thank you so much for talking about this! Last year in college has been a bit rough because I felt lonely and didnt connect with people easily. So I wantend to say thank you for talking about these kind of topics in general, its good to know that there are others with the same struggles out there and feel a bit more understood 😌💕
Thanks for sharing, such a needed discussion. 🙌🏽 I feel like this is a never ending struggle for me. I am always tugged in two directions-wanting to be a social butterfly and then wanting to be by myself (especially if the quality of conversation is completely shallow).
In my city there is an all female co-working space that has weekly events for members. They include yoga, breakfasts, networking events, panels and workshops. You don’t have to actually have office space there, you can just attend the events.
amazing
I recently moved to just outside of London from California and it is HARD. I'm introverted, but I think Sam has the right idea of putting yourself out there. There's a lot of Facebook groups and social sites specifically to help you meet up with other people; I want to make authentic friendships but it's definitely also something that can't be rushed and needs to happen organically. Thanks for the video and blog post, Sam!
Love this video Sammy!I feel the same abour friendship!Half of the time i'm upset about not having friends and then im like i can't even be bothered to try 'cause i dont feel like opening myself to others and it get's more and more difficult as you get older...Ahhhhh just felt like alien again :D
Ayşegül Musli I hear the conundrum 💕
Wow!! I’ve said the exact same thing to my bf when I complain about not having friends
I just moved from a little town in the South of France to Paris for uni so I had no friends at the beginning. Usually, you're not the only new person so it's rather easy to connect with people who are struggling too. My advice would be to ask questions, don't be afraid to ask for help, either they'll have the answer, or they'll have the same question so you can help each other. As a very shy and lonely girl, I was surpised by my social skills I didn't even know I had!
I definitely love these kinds of videos! Got my coffee ready Sammi ☕️🙋🏻♀️
Thank you for making this video - it is so important to discuss this. My experiences begin in school, where I was bullied every day by those who called themselves my "friends". They made my life hell for 7 years. In college, no one spoke to me - I was so shy and although I attempted conversation, it soon leaked out that no one wanted to talk to me because I was giving them evil looks (I have RBF I can't help it! LOL). I ate my lunch with the boys or more often alone. In the office environment, my confidence improved and I learnt small talk and tried to get to know people/make jokes etc. I was greeted by blank stares and hurtful comments so I just gave up. Now I'm 30 and genuinely like my own company but I still get lonely. Those small few I let in my life are AMAZING and like my sisters so they are out there :D you just have to find weirdos like yourself haha. x
Thank you boo, i struggle with social anxiety and making friends is soo difficult.. I hope you all have at least one real friend or embrace your loneliness ❤️
Great video. Thank you for making this video and being so real. I too find it difficult to form genuine, lasting friendships with women. It's probably because my personality type (introverted, mostly serious) is unappealing to most people. I can be playful and fun sometimes, but I have to force myself and feel like I have to act happier than I feel inside to be socially acceptable. If I'm myself I fear I will be rejected by other women as no fun and therefore undesirable socially. Been trying to simultaneously accept myself with my low social IQ while working on understanding others to improve my social skills. Feels daunting and like most days I'd rather just give up and be home alone with Netflix and RUclips. But I can't give up. Sigh.
Very, very comforting to know that I'm not alone in this struggle. Thank you.
I'm fifteen and at the end of last year I had a lot of friendships but I didn't have any close ones and I was never invited to go anywhere and everyone forgot I was there, and when school ended I felt like I didn't have any true friends. Then over the summer I got depression and I didn't want to go back to school and I developed some social anxiety and now I'm back at school and I have no motivation to try to make and maintain friendships. I have zero friends, I talk to less than ten people everyday, I don't eat lunch I just sit in the library and It's been really hard. I've been in class for three months. I just can't connect with anyone and my mental health hasn't been great for the past six months. I'm not awkward, I'm into the same things as other people, I dress and talk like an ordinary person, I'm not mean or rude and I'd be the perfect friend - it's just that no one seems interested.
i’m fifteen too, at the end of middle school i realized all my friends were fake and i could no longer count on them. in highschool only boys would talk to me so i started being a slut so that they would not lose interest in me. now one and a half year later they all think i’m a slut and don’t wana talk to me. meanwhile my boyfriend is afraid i’ll cheat and doesn’t let me go out to find new friends
also for making friends at college/uni/in a new city: **go to campus/community events** this is literally such a game-changer. yes, there are always an overwhelming amount of campus events in the beginning of the year, but it's the perfect place to be to meet people who are LITERALLY in the same boat as you, because chances are they're there to make new friends too. go to that club meeting with the free pizza. join that study group (or form one of your own and ask the person who sits next to you in class if they want to study together). go to that party, if that's the vibe you're into. and if you're in a new city, check out the farmer's market or an open mic night or a yoga class. and like sam said, spending time in public spaces like cafes is really good.
Great ideas
It's so strange when youtubers say they don't have friends, by my reckoning u have 1.8 million young lady! 😉As someone who has struggled with this, one of the best bits of advice was to have lots of acquaintances that way you don't put too much pressure on just a few people and over time some of those acquaintances become real friends. Sometimes quantity over quality though of course you should avoid people who bring u down.
RUclips is not real life 😚
That’s not how it works but ok
I LOVVEEEE YOUUUUU! I've been watching you since high school . I'm 26 now and still feel the same about your channel !! You deserve to be one of the most commonly known RUclipsrs . Ughhh I'm so happy your happy !!
I get along better with males as I'm pretty laid back and don't take myself too seriously. But recently I have had a weird experience with making friends with a grandad from my daughter's school. And it got to the point where he wanted to start meeting up without the kids. I told him that I didn't want to and he literally got really shitty with me. He was ringing me, texting me... asking why I talked to hi in first place if I was married... it ended with me telling him to never talk or contact me ever again. Men seem to assume if a woman is nice, we want to do hanky pankies with them. Nah mate,,, you are 70
Marie i would like to talk to you
Well, if he is chills, he sees you got beta orbiters, so just give it a try and see if he has a cute grandson.
I was wondering a way to start a friendship:
Start off with hey how are you
Find a common interest to talk about
Direct the conversation on them, show genuine interest about them
Smile, compliment them
Give attention, Show your appreciation maybe bake them something, go out or invite them to a party to get to know them better.
I've tried this method a lot and it always fails
Hi (I normaly don't comment but wth why not haha), I just moved countries, because of Uni and what really helped me was finding someone in the facebook groups that came from where I come from and meeting up before you go to uni, so while you're both still at home, and then you already have someone when you start Uni. Even if you're not doing the same courses I feel like it really helps, because you can go to events together and also it helps with home sickness, when you can talk in your mother language.
Good advice!
This video encouraged me so much. I've been feeling really lonely since I moved to a new city, and your tips were so heartfelt and helpful!! thanks so much sammi
I just listened to this whole video whilst going trough my closet and I just neeeed you to make a podcast Samantha! You always pick the best topics and you talk about everything with such passion, I really think you would make the best podcaster! Pls everyone who agrees, like this!
I found this so relatable,it’s so difficult not knowing how to make the first move on making new friends
I feel like I want to make friends, or hang out with the people I know. But once I do, I don't really enjoy. Maybe because it feels so 'fake'. I have trust issues.
i know how you feel
I can relate sooooo much. I moved so much for my career in the last few years and now I live in Aberdeen, UK, a bit far away from everything, having to start over with new friends! I really put in the effort: met new people, socialised with the housemates (that only made things worse), went to social events.... I always felt a bit out of place, hanging out with the wrong crowd. It's so difficult making friends when you're an adult! I have so called work-friends now, but no friends-friends. It's so lonely and very difficult to find people you can relate with and that can understand you fully without having to change myself :(
Just found you last week and subscribed immediately. Lots of great content on your channel and I like your personality. Thanks for the advice :)
You are so comforting to watch! I'm traveling alone and loneliness definitely creeps in easily. So this video was just so nice to watch and I think so many people feel lonely and at the same time they feel like they're the only one that feels that way.
Thank you Sam!
What does Jason do day to day?
I truly love your transparency Sammi. All of my quirks are similar to yours. It’s nice to know you’re not alone😘
How did you curl your hair like that, I love it! For me I have lovely husband and lovely daughter, we have so much fun together, we go out a lot for nice meals, fancy - great holidays, family wise, we spend a lot together but friends? I find it difficult to be around with girlfriends, I don’t have friends, I am not confident enough to be around with women, I can be so quite... I am active on my own company, I go to the gym, I run, I made parties at home but close friends?I don’t have!I love Netflix but friendship I feel like I don’t have it! I love my cat, it makes fell relax when I am with her(cat). Oh well, you cannot have everything😂. But i feel lonely about it though cos I miss having chat with closefriend. I think meeting people I do not have the confidence. 💗xx
Yes to a mum meet up! What a great idea 😊 This topic was a great choice and I think you’re so right on your points! xx
JORJA SMITH ♥️
I realized recently that I’m more of a wallflower than a social butterfly and it’s ok. I’ve made really good friends who understand that at times I do like being alone and at times I enjoy their company. All I have really done is reassure myself that I’m not “weird” for not having a clique of friends,best friend, my personality isn’t built for crowd of people
I wish I had sister then I feel like I wouldn't wanr girlfriends.
i have a sister too but still need girlfriends 💘
I have sisters, but I hurt myself relying on them to fill that "friend" void. They have their own friends and have a life outside of family. It's only healthy, it hurts to know that they don't need me and that's my problem. Another thing, friendships aren't always about giving, which is something I struggle with (doormat vibes)
Insha how do you step away from being a doormat
I've never seen a more relatable video in 2018!
I feel like we would all be your friends! Seriously. Your a cool person. You have so many interests like fashion, beauty, fitness, etc. I honestly feel like woman can be so competitive so it's hard to find someone genuine. I say reach out to more RUclips gals! Make an effort to hang more and go to lunch and maybe have some colabs. Let's go ask lily pebbles cuz she apparently has it figured out! Lol her friendship book depressed me cuz I only have like one good friend!
Ive been 3 years post college with the realization that a lot of the friendships I’ve held on to were solely based on longevity and not on quality. Now that I realized this I’ve accepted that I need to distance myself from these people because they don’t value me as much as I valued them/our friendship. I feel like this has been damn near what all my relationships have been (with the exception of 2-3 friends I know I can rely on, but they’re either far or working 24/7 so I barely see them). Starting anew and trying to meet people post-college AND with the added obstacle of social anxiety has really made it difficult and makes me feel like I’m set to feel lonely or lacking in strong relationships for as long as I’m alive :/