I'm a grandparent but still learning. Thinking about very carefully recommending your videos to the parents. They need help with out of control kiddos. Great kids just need some structure. Thank you, great advice!
I wish i could be around more people like you both. You guys are awesome....so encouraging but without judgement. ☺😁 I thoroughly enjoyed that movie "Raising Helen" I tend to avoid using the word bad all together when it comes to young children. But struggle to not use the term naughty behaviour. I try to find more positive terms but when im tired, busy i tend to backslide to things like "that was naughty" when really a toddler for starters isn't really doing anything naughty as most times its more exploratory than deliberate. Even if they are exploring limits 😂 When it comes to teens i do use the stronger terms like "bad behaviour". I feel your videos have been invaluable and incredibly helpful for me. Thankyou so much.
I'm only half way through watching this video but I wanted to comment .... I totally agree with the point they are making about separating the child from their behaviour , so not saying you are naughty . I agree that repeated labelling of a child will even change a parents" attitude and behaviour towards the child. I am conscious of this with my children ( twins ) and one is generally more more compliant than the other but I wouldn't want to label one as good and the other as naughty. I think it would then alter my behaviour towards them. I would treat them differently. They both play up at times and when I correct then , I try to remember to say that you're such a good boy but whatever they did is naughty.
I truly appreciate and thank you both for your effort to put all these videos together. It’s such an inspiring and invaluable information for all parents, teachers and educators out there. I’ve been learning a lot from your videos! Many blessings! 🙏🏼☺️
This video is so great! I love how you two can remember movies, quotations and examples.. Your videos are helping me to become a happier (less frustrated) parent because if anything I'm trying to focus on MY JOB and what I can control!! 👍👍
Tamara Stipanov, before you talk to your child, think about their personality and their future life. Think of how they will grow up and how this one incident can help them grow to be the amazing person they are. It may help to calm you down and detach a bit, seeing them as a separate, distinct person from yourself.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thank you very much for your response, I will try harder to separate my own emotion from parenting. Sometimes is easier than other times..but I'll try harder to remember this advice. Thank you👍
How do you this,when your husband is not on board? Sadly my husband is critical of me trying these techniques. I’m trying anyway but am finding so much resistance without support from my husband. Thank you for all of your encouragement.
You can do it! Get clear on what you have control over and stay in that lane. Can't control your husband so ignore what you can't change. He can watch for a while and see what happens.
I really appreciate these videos. Recently, I heard that my daughter has been rude to other adults when I am not around. How can I teach my daughter how to be towards others whether I’m around or not?
Jessica Lopez, give her consequences. Let her know that you will act on reports so if she doesn't want the consequence she should think twice.
5 лет назад+2
I have found recently that my daughter has really bad behavior when im not watching (stealing, intimidating, she even slapped a friend of mine). I was totally unaware of that. I really need to work on how I view her and how to work on this with her (since she is denying it all). This video will help.
I know this is an old video but I'd like to ask, how would you go about not only trying make changes in yourself but inviting your partner to look at and evaluate their own behavior, actions, speech ext. Toward the children. I am a father of 3 and I've been working on changing the setting and language we use in the house hold but the push back I get from my wife is making it more of a challenge to do this. Any time I bring it up or try to get her to watch a video she takes it as an attack on her "mothering" skills or ways, but yet at least once a month she's telling me something needs to change with these kids I'm over it. There's alot more background information but this just sums it up. Thank you for all you do
Backyard Forge, the only person whose behavior we can change is our own. You can try to talk to your wife and ask her to partner with you to create a better family culture, but it is her decision. You can call a family meeting with or without her and discuss it with the kids. Perhaps when she sees you are serious she will come along. Be loving and invite her.
Check the Playlist. We have done videos on that topic. Some parents take the phones when the kids enter the home or before bed or at meals all phones go in a bin.
great video! how do you think would it affect my childrens sense of self if i use the "you are.." for positive behaviour? (i.e. "you were very kind to the other kids today") or should i just stick with "you did xy very good" ?
I don't think a 2 and a four year old do much thinking...they are impulsive and kinda thuggish to be honest. When I correct my 4 year old and tell him his behavior I innapropriate (spitting for example) he immediately says I hate him, I I don't love him, etc. What do I do with that? It's almost like he's deflecting in an attempt to avoid taking responsibility.
Gabriela Karl, He has learned that these things hurt you and he is deflecting. Tell him that isn't the case and isn't what you are talking about now. Stay focused and let him know later that you love him.
Doctor Paul, I’ve been watching so many of your videos for weeks trying to understand my 5 year old boy and also to make myself a better mother. My son has been having a bad behavior for years now and a lot has to do with the way I parent him but a lot of it makes me thing he has ADD or ODD. I’ve taken him to 3 different psychologist, they say he is just immature. No one has done a test for ADHD, ADD or ODD and we are in the process of having the insurance to refer us for that. I’ve been putting many of your suggestions to practice but I would like to ask you if you could make more videos to help parents with problems like mine. It’s not all about discipline, setting rules or being firm because my husband and I do all those plus love him no matter what and even if. I feel in my heart now that my son needs extra help and I pray to God we soon find out if there is something else going on with him so we can help him the right way. I wish you could understand the stress and the impotence I feel when I get the bad reports daily in kindergarten. Today was parents conference meeting, his teacher told us how bright he is. She said he is above all the kids in class but his behavior keeps him from doing more. I hope I don’t bother you with this long perhaps not well written comment but I am desperate. I keep reading so much about ADD and watching your videos and many others here in RUclips hopping to find help and answers. I trust you so much so I hope you could help me and many other parents with the same situation. Thank you doctor Paul and God bless you!
Beatriz Sandoval, thank you for writing and being specific so I know what is needed. I will think about this and consider creating some more videos that may help. Thank you for being a kind, benevolent parent. Your child will get through this with your help and talk to the people at school and see if they have any suggestions.
Dawna S. Malone, DrPaulJenkins.com/breakthroughcall will get you a free 25 minute call with one of our Live On Purpose coaches. I take a few of those calls. Even if you don't get me directly, you may be able to work something out with the coach.
I would respond more as a parent if you weren't SO calm. It builds a unachievable goal if you're always calm when teaching people to be calm, especially with parents. Because that's not reality.
I'm a grandparent but still learning. Thinking about very carefully recommending your videos to the parents. They need help with out of control kiddos. Great kids just need some structure. Thank you, great advice!
Eileen Hardy, I hope they are receptive.
I love all the videos keep them coming please.
Chris Velasquez, I have no plans of stopping so keep ideas coming for videos. Great to have you at the channel.
I wish i could be around more people like you both.
You guys are awesome....so encouraging but without judgement. ☺😁
I thoroughly enjoyed that movie "Raising Helen"
I tend to avoid using the word bad all together when it comes to young children. But struggle to not use the term naughty behaviour. I try to find more positive terms but when im tired, busy i tend to backslide to things like "that was naughty" when really a toddler for starters isn't really doing anything naughty as most times its more exploratory than deliberate. Even if they are exploring limits 😂
When it comes to teens i do use the stronger terms like "bad behaviour".
I feel your videos have been invaluable and incredibly helpful for me. Thankyou so much.
Katherine Fielder, we are honored to be on our team.
Thank you Dr Paul, your advice and videos are invaluable - shiould be essential viewing for all parents.
YOU ARE great .
SdmAngeL Honored to be on your team.
Thank you both! Keep it coming.
Pinay Wymans in Alaska, I wish we could have Vicki on the channel more, she is getting busy at work now.
This is outstanding! Thank you 😊
Amy McNeill, you are welcome.
I didnt realize that I labelled my son until watching this video. I usually told my son " you lie to me / you are not honest..."
thu Moore, when we know better, we do better. You got this.
You both are awesome!! Thank you for these videos!
Our pleasure!
I'm only half way through watching this video but I wanted to comment ....
I totally agree with the point they are making about separating the child from their behaviour , so not saying you are naughty .
I agree that repeated labelling of a child will even change a parents" attitude and behaviour towards the child.
I am conscious of this with my children ( twins ) and one is generally more more compliant than the other but I wouldn't want to label one as good and the other as naughty. I think it would then alter my behaviour towards them. I would treat them differently.
They both play up at times and when I correct then , I try to remember to say that you're such a good boy but whatever they did is naughty.
SdmAngeL, so glad you have this principle in practice now. It will make a big difference.
This is a loving approach. Thanks for the tips.
You're so welcome!
Grateful for them very much
You are so kind, Candace Alvarez.
Excellent advice as always 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
MARINA WILKINSON, honored to be on your team.
Love you both! Great advice as always
You are welcome, FacciaBella5.
Love you guys. Thanks.
You are welcome, Alisson Ochoa.
Your videos has helped us to deal with our teenage son and build better relationship with him. Thank you so much!
MashaLifeVlog, honored to be on your team.
Such wisdom packed into a few minutes!💗It should be taught on maternity wards and grades 7 & 8.
Ana Long, we do need to do a better job of educating parents to be.
"Liked"! Perfect examples. 😁.
Thank you for sharing!
I remember that show.
Wendi Watson, thank you for watching.
Thanks so much!
You're welcome! A Proud Army Wife 2005, glad you are here.
I truly appreciate and thank you both for your effort to put all these videos together. It’s such an inspiring and invaluable information for all parents, teachers and educators out there. I’ve been learning a lot from your videos! Many blessings! 🙏🏼☺️
Peg Sesztak, thank you for your kind words. I am truly honored to be on your team.
I love you and I love your videos. It gives me so much confidence to deal with my kids. ❤️
Thanks, Marcia.
Good good stuff!
Thank you!
Priceless video! I am a new parent... Thank you for this helpful recommendation.
You are very welcome.
Just amazing.. so well explained . Thanks for the video
You are welcome, Garima Kaur. I am glad you enjoyed the video; thanks for watching.
I love your videos.i watch from Egypt ....please more on teenagers. And more on single mum parenting...God Bless you.
Sarah, thank you, honored to be on your team.
This video is so great! I love how you two can remember movies, quotations and examples.. Your videos are helping me to become a happier (less frustrated) parent because if anything I'm trying to focus on MY JOB and what I can control!! 👍👍
I have a little boy who is 16 months old so there's a LOT I can't control 😂😂
Tais Ribeiro, parenting becomes so much less stressful when you get clear on your job and control. Good luck.
Tais Ribeiro, you got this parenting thing down!
This is great information..but it's so hard to do! It's impossible to me not to get involved in their emotion and than I can't apply this advice..
Tamara Stipanov, before you talk to your child, think about their personality and their future life. Think of how they will grow up and how this one incident can help them grow to be the amazing person they are. It may help to calm you down and detach a bit, seeing them as a separate, distinct person from yourself.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV
Thank you very much for your response, I will try harder to separate my own emotion from parenting. Sometimes is easier than other times..but I'll try harder to remember this advice. Thank you👍
I highly recommend to also look up mindfulness for kids and for you.
How do you this,when your husband is not on board? Sadly my husband is critical of me trying these techniques. I’m trying anyway but am finding so much resistance without support from my husband. Thank you for all of your encouragement.
You can do it! Get clear on what you have control over and stay in that lane. Can't control your husband so ignore what you can't change. He can watch for a while and see what happens.
Amazing
Thank you!
I really appreciate these videos. Recently, I heard that my daughter has been rude to other adults when I am not around. How can I teach my daughter how to be towards others whether I’m around or not?
Jessica Lopez, give her consequences. Let her know that you will act on reports so if she doesn't want the consequence she should think twice.
I have found recently that my daughter has really bad behavior when im not watching (stealing, intimidating, she even slapped a friend of mine). I was totally unaware of that. I really need to work on how I view her and how to work on this with her (since she is denying it all). This video will help.
Maman Simplifiee, Glad you are not letting her behavior slide, she needs some consequences.
I'm not even a parent (yet) but... Good to know 😏
Marie R, you will be ahead of the game. We should teach this stuff in school.
I know this is an old video but I'd like to ask, how would you go about not only trying make changes in yourself but inviting your partner to look at and evaluate their own behavior, actions, speech ext. Toward the children. I am a father of 3 and I've been working on changing the setting and language we use in the house hold but the push back I get from my wife is making it more of a challenge to do this. Any time I bring it up or try to get her to watch a video she takes it as an attack on her "mothering" skills or ways, but yet at least once a month she's telling me something needs to change with these kids I'm over it. There's alot more background information but this just sums it up. Thank you for all you do
Backyard Forge, the only person whose behavior we can change is our own. You can try to talk to your wife and ask her to partner with you to create a better family culture, but it is her decision. You can call a family meeting with or without her and discuss it with the kids. Perhaps when she sees you are serious she will come along. Be loving and invite her.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you I'll try to come up with some bullet points and hold a family meet I like the sound of that.
Hey you incredible educators - heads up it says video not available. Hope all OK, July 2022 UK 😘🇬🇧🙏
It's the how to talk to your child about unfavourable behaviour thanks
Thank you for watching.
Social media destroys social skills.
How do you reduce phone/ social media dependency?
Check the Playlist. We have done videos on that topic. Some parents take the phones when the kids enter the home or before bed or at meals all phones go in a bin.
great video!
how do you think would it affect my childrens sense of self if i use the "you are.." for positive behaviour? (i.e. "you were very kind to the other kids today") or should i just stick with "you did xy very good" ?
RS, You are is great for positive behaviors. We want them to see themselves as kind, loving and that those things are good.
I don't think a 2 and a four year old do much thinking...they are impulsive and kinda thuggish to be honest. When I correct my 4 year old and tell him his behavior I innapropriate (spitting for example) he immediately says I hate him, I I don't love him, etc. What do I do with that? It's almost like he's deflecting in an attempt to avoid taking responsibility.
Gabriela Karl, He has learned that these things hurt you and he is deflecting. Tell him that isn't the case and isn't what you are talking about now. Stay focused and let him know later that you love him.
Doctor Paul, I’ve been watching so many of your videos for weeks trying to understand my 5 year old boy and also to make myself a better mother. My son has been having a bad behavior for years now and a lot has to do with the way I parent him but a lot of it makes me thing he has ADD or ODD. I’ve taken him to 3 different psychologist, they say he is just immature. No one has done a test for ADHD, ADD or ODD and we are in the process of having the insurance to refer us for that. I’ve been putting many of your suggestions to practice but I would like to ask you if you could make more videos to help parents with problems like mine. It’s not all about discipline, setting rules or being firm because my husband and I do all those plus love him no matter what and even if. I feel in my heart now that my son needs extra help and I pray to God we soon find out if there is something else going on with him so we can help him the right way. I wish you could understand the stress and the impotence I feel when I get the bad reports daily in kindergarten. Today was parents conference meeting, his teacher told us how bright he is. She said he is above all the kids in class but his behavior keeps him from doing more. I hope I don’t bother you with this long perhaps not well written comment but I am desperate. I keep reading so much about ADD and watching your videos and many others here in RUclips hopping to find help and answers. I trust you so much so I hope you could help me and many other parents with the same situation. Thank you doctor Paul and God bless you!
Beatriz Sandoval, thank you for writing and being specific so I know what is needed. I will think about this and consider creating some more videos that may help. Thank you for being a kind, benevolent parent. Your child will get through this with your help and talk to the people at school and see if they have any suggestions.
mines lacking in empathy, and its shows and not good
A Mc, I am sorry, maybe you can find some service opportunities for him so he sees how fortunate he is and develop empathy.
How can I contact you?
Dawna S. Malone, DrPaulJenkins.com/breakthroughcall will get you a free 25 minute call with one of our Live On Purpose coaches. I take a few of those calls. Even if you don't get me directly, you may be able to work something out with the coach.
I would respond more as a parent if you weren't SO calm. It builds a unachievable goal if you're always calm when teaching people to be calm, especially with parents. Because that's not reality.
reneelhall, it can become a habit and reality.
❤❤❤❤
Thank you, Chynar.
How are you?
Ankita Gupta, doing great, and you?
I am goo thanks hehe