Same, my life is hell been an empath, i just get used, attract narcissist,, even my daughter lied about so many things to go be with rich family, shes gone now, i watch assholes get treated great by there partners, my backs on fire 24/7 , i cant sleep unless i drink two bottles of wine pernight with pills, im smart, ok looking, but na,, i feel as thow im paying karma back from last life, im 37 years old, my 3 girl friends i had during my life cheated on me, would not have sex with me after a few times,, excuses were,, ''i was raped''' ha funny that because they had no problem sleeping with my so called mates,, im in so much pain my body can barely go for a ten min walk,, doctors are useless,, im over it, as soon as i get a gun im out of here,, iv tryed heater in bath, fail, hanging, fail, over dose fail, loss of blood, fail, surely a gun to brain should work, i cant wait to die.
@@thunderdrake13 You're probably trying to be helpful, but it came across as a super condescending question. That's probably one of the first things he tried, and chances are he's come back to it more than once over the years.
I definitely recommend therapy, if you at all can. (a) all of a sudden you have someone on your side who genuinely wants to help and is patient while your system learns it's safe to trust them, and (b) if anyone asks if you're seeing someone... you can say "why yes I am. a therapist"
Sadly, this is the reality for a lot of people regardless of covid. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have a loving family, friends or someone to give them a hug. Without meaningful relationships, life is just surviving and it gets harder to find a reason to bother. There is no one to notice anyway.
I’ve felt this isolated from people for 25 years. I feel like my life is on repeat. Every time I get close to feeling a part of something or getting the career I want, it gets taken away from me. I just lost my job due to the pandemic’s affects on business. I’m at a really low point. Fortunately, I have a family and my role as a dad keeps me sane, but everything outside of my family life is empty. Your videos help me so much.
Always know that you are never lonely. The earth, air, sun, plants, water and even a small insects are always around us. change your perception about loneliness. Look around. loneliness is a lie you tell yourself. Its like you are saying you are hungry when you are already full. and the only way out is the awareness.. breathe in and breathe out, recognise air how much its helping you to live. same way with the sun, plants and each and every elements and how we are intricately connected to eachother. I hope this truly help someone who feels loneliness. Love you.
Yeah, that therapist who famously said how many hugs people need a day was just speculating and the emotional states she mentions are subjective. Before the pandemic I did receive a few short hugs a week. But I haven't had a date or boyfriend for over 11 years, even though I would like both. Not always happy but definitely surviving!
Personally I think for a lot of people absolute loneliness could be a thing that is the only way to truly bring themselves to their own hearts. To grow in a way they would never expect to experience. Loneliness is often our enemy but it has slowly become my friend. Time and space could mean healing in the way you need. Especially in this day and age, where everything seems restless and fast. Nothingness and emptiness can feel very scary for a long time, but slowly you realise there's beauty in the quiet places. You'll not be the same person once you arrive in an accepting state of mind/heart. So don't be afraid of loneliness. Move on from a place of love and trust in the proces. There are hidden gifts in loneliness. That's what I experienced living alone for a long time.
My anxiety with socializing has been bad my entire life. I had a break down last fall. I still feel the effects of that today. At first the social distancing actually help with my anxiety and depression, but I think it is slowly making it worse. Covid itself gives me a whole bunch of different worries daily. Thank you for the video, they do help, you give me the correct words to communicate properly when I meet with my therapist so that I can work through issues more efficiently. I know it’s a long road.
Thank you so much for this video. I'm finding myself struggling with loneliness. It's really worn me down. I'm going to implement some of your tips. ❤️
I have been struggling with loneliness for a while. It is hard for me to make friends. I feel like I've tried everything to make friends. Being a friend to others, attending Bible studies, and church, and talking with my family. I still feel alone. I don't have meaningful relationships in my life. I have tried telling people who I thought cared about me about my feelings of loneliness but they don't give me the support I need. I told my therapist I didn't have friends and she was persistent and kept saying I did. I don't know how to deal with loneliness other than making friends but in this day and age, making any sort of relationship seems impossible.
Something I did for a friend that was feeling down was a "heart attack." You get friends, family, and even coworkers to write a nice message on a paper heart. A contactless way is to have them send it to you digitally and print it out. Then attach the hearts to the person's door. I used a posterboard but they can be directly attached to the door instead. This cheered my friend up tremendously. I snuck over and did it at night then after I left, I texted him and said "hmmmm, I drove by your house and there's something weird on your door."
Deborah. Even when things open up I will be alone with no one to hug. Even before watching this video, I used to say that 'I am so lonely I feel sick". Nothing new to me. Whoever you are Deborah, I hope 1000 HUGS come your way because it is so brave for you to make that statement and so you deserve them. So there you go...hug number one from me through my words. 999 more to go!
Thank you for the informative clinical information about loneliness. The lonely can certainly identify with these facts. How lovely it must be to be an outgoing person and in a position to pursue the activities suggested. For those introverts without jobs to go to which create feelings of productivity; nor families to hug and with whom to talk, time passes slowly; even under ideal conditions. As history shows an inability on the part of humanity as a whole to maintain balance, I fear that the social distancing, mistrust in others, fear, anger, and depression that have arisen will be present, if not forever, for many years to come.
Yeah the social distancing may creat mistrust and futherness in some new friendship because humans focus on distancing themselves on each other faces.The sad part is we cant see their smile on their face.I know I wish to see people smile when they greet us.The social distancing rule has given people no chance to neet friends often and therefore sometimes we have to keep out frustrations and sadness and worries to ourself if our friends were Nt the type who does not make phone calls to chat.We may suffer from depression if we have kept anger and traumatic fear and bitterness from our childhood abuse as an introvert and not having chance 2 meet close friends and see their smile now and then .Its worst when close friends parents wont let them come out to meet me because of Covid.
I know VERY well that I need more human interaction, connection and emotionally safe relationships. It's just that I am not able to change my life in this direction, I'm too afraid of rejection and, VERY easily get triggered into freeze respons and isolation. It's a moment 22 situation that I can't think myself out from. One day I might feel connected, I reach out to make connection, unfortunately often only online... Then, if I get no respons or if it's is delayed, I tend to fall into freeze. Human interaction through texting CAN work like a Top-down regulation but only for a while. My body will soon realize it's alone, signal danger and shut me down to pure survival. I am a 58 year old first child of a mother who was not at all able to emotionally connect and coregulate. I was a "cry baby" fed every three hours then left alone. Attachment trauma on the deepest most primitive level.
Can't be lonely due to social distancing if I was already lonely to start with. I can't decide whether seeing other people suffer with what I've experienced my whole life is darkly cathartic or just more depressing.
this is why they want to isolate all of us....we need each other and without human connection in person we will get sicker and more depressed and sad, etc...
You have helped a lot, I haven’t quite mastered rewiring the anxious brain or loneliness but certainly working on it, you have given me some good pointers. It helped with shaking out the emotions as well thank you x
Great psychology lecture. 👍🏼 Based on what I experienced in the past few days... most people who are feeling lonely will shy away from the first part of the post. 😔😢 They will say that you’re “fear mongering.” Can you believe that? Just stating the truth about health repercussions of anything sends people into such defensive modes today. 😞
I (47) have been lonely my entire life. I suffer from cptsd: which for me means low selfesteem / lack of identity, emotion regulation problems, anxiety and depersonalisation.
“Be alone, that is the secret of invention; be alone, that is when ideas are born.” ~ Nikola Tesla Not every time loneliness is a bad thing. What you do when you are alone matters.
That’s because being alone and loneliness aren’t the same thing. At least they don’t have to be. You can feel lonely surrounded by hundreds of people. You can feel happy while being alone most of the time, because you have a few people in your family or friend group that you’re really close to and feel connected to :)
let s remember that the (genius) Nicola Tesla was so lonely at the end of his life that he had fallen in love with a pigeon -yes, an actual bird- that frequented the square near the hotel where he lived, on his own, for his last years
All I gotta say is that I am screwed. No friends, no social connection and no nothing. People are too selfish nowadays to love one another. Its always a person for themselves
I love being alone. I absolutely love it! I love living alone.... I would say... get a dog and you will not only know TRUE LOVE... but you will also NEVER be lonely. You were born alone and will die alone... we have always been alone. Even when in relationship you can feel alone. So embrace it.
This is such great information. Thank you so much for sharing all of this! As a teacher and wellness educator, I know I’ll be referring to this and sharing it!
I’m always there for people and try to make friends but it’s not reciprocated. I deserve to have people in my life who show up for me like I do them. I’d rather be alone.
When this all started, I was like - welcome to the club, now y'all know what it's like to be scared to get close to people! Interestingly enough, the energy that I'd've normally used feeling shame (if you haven't noticed, loneliness is the butt of the jokes) and put it into processing and have made great progress in therapy. Betcha by the time this is over, I'll have overcome twenty years of believing I couldn't get close to anyone. And maybe someone will ask me "how did you learn to thrive as an anxious person" and I'll say "EMDR and COVID".
At least we can exercise, eat healthy, take supplements - antioxidants and plenty of Omega 3, to reduce inflamation and other insults on our body caused by the unholy trinity of loneliness: Individualist ideology, the digital revolution, and Covid-19 as the cherry on top of this whole thing.
So true. Even worse Trump gave more money to pay pastors' salaries than the US has spent on Covid-19 healthcare and stimulus combined. Not only is that unconstitutional, religion is the last thing people need right now.
"reach out, take the initiative if you wait for others they probably won't"..why don't others take the initiative? I am almost always the one..sick of it
Wow, I'm ,61 yo now and maybe the loneliest I've ever been. Asking questions ppl tend to dislike. Not a very shallow person. No idea what it takes, I'm kind, thoughtful, nice, just not one someone wants to be close to. So hard even as a Christian. Was always lonely and never seemed to fit in much and if you deal with anxiety, all the more difficult.
Ever since things have opened back up after the Lockdown I have a new social anxiety I’ve never had before. I’m now afraid to do the things I used to (perform in theatre, go to dance class, socialize outside of my house, go to Applebee’s by myself, etc.) It’s gotten so bad that now I’m in physical pain, more depressed than I was, unmotivated to even find a job. I’ve been unemployed for months and I’m just not motivated to do anything about it. I have close friends but they are married with kids and can’t socialize like they used to. I know I need to get out of my house and be around like minded people but I’m afraid. I’ve already had COVID and I’m vaccinated so I’m not afraid of getting sick. I think I’m actually afraid of being around other people because I’ve been so isolated since 2020. Even my dad said something about me being so isolated and not having a show that I’m rehearsing for. That hurts to hear. I also sing and haven’t been motivated to sing because my vocal coach ghosted me during the Pandemic and I’m out of practice. I feel like a huge part of who I am is gone and I am scared to go get it back. Getting started is the hardest and scariest part for me, but once I get out and going I’m completely fine and feel like my “pre-pandemic” self. It’s getting there, the depression and having no motivation that is the hardest part. What do I do to push myself through this hard, scary af point so I can get back to civilization?
If corona virus has taught us anything, it's that we have become totally addicted to compulsive consumption and consequently fragile and vulnerable to social change
I'm a single and lonely guy. I observe this: Single men are looking for someone who can settle down. Single women are looking for someone who can travel the world.
Social anxiety paried with the feeling of being socially inept really throws a wrench into this. The thought of rejection due to those things usually shies me away from even trying. It was legitimately difficult to type my comment as concisely as I did without rambling. v_v”
I’m lonely. I have been for a long time because of how I was raised. After my fiancé left, my heart broke. I have really no hope of adult connection, friendships, love, and true partnership. My heart hurts every day. I’ve had all sorts of symptoms. It sucks to know that most of us who are lonely and care about our health, might as well have been popular smokers lol.
You touched upon a topic so important not only in these current times. Thank you for your life saving contributions here. Love you for this. Wish you good health and further success with your work.
As a man that never opens up or speaks about my issues. I'm experiencing a reoccurring nightmare a few days per week. I am visited by a demonic entity that takes the shape of an old man. He has a bruised up face and his eye balls are hanging out of the eye sockets. He comes into my bedroom places both his hands on my shoulders looks me in the face and says "you were destined to be alone, no one will ever love you and if you were to scream no one will help you because no one cares" then he raises his voice and says the following words "you will be alone forever" he says this 3x and while he says this his grip begins to tighten around my shoulders. And at this particular moment in time I am experiencing what can only be described as the purest form of fear it's actually unbearable. It's feel like I am going to p!ss my pants. As if you were 7 years old again and one of your siblings convinced you that something was a hiding in the dark. At this moment I wake up and my heart begins to pound through my chest and I start scanning the room for the old man. This is where it feels like I'm having a panic attack. I've come to realize that when you don't have someone to speak to after a certain amount of time your mind actually begins to crack. I'm a strong person I am very resilient but physiologically my stress is beginning to impact me. And it's getting worse and worse.
Great info Emma and thanks for sharing! This makes so much sense being that we’re created in the image of a triune Creator whose existed in community for eternity.
Since 11-12 years old I’ve been living alone at my home cause my parents work all day almost every day (now I’m almost 20) and since a month now I seriously CAN’T stay alone without panicking and having anxiety over the smallest things. I’ve went to like a million doctors thinking I’m sick and every week I have a new symptom. I don’t even know what’s wrong with me anymore. Is it depression? Anxiety? Loneliness? I’ll most likely visit a psychiatrist
How do you remember how you felt in yourself? Like that emotional connection with/in your body. And how do you keep that emotional connection without forgetting your sense of body/self when talking to people.
@@s.w_8876 See the feeling and suffering you have gone through will be really difficult to understand because you know it well how it feels in that state, if I had made to go through that same condition it will also be different because we both are different entities and time , space, location, social etc everything is different. But there are some things which works same let me give you an example:- suppose u have pain in your left leg if we consider biological view your Brain and other things are working to heal that thing but beyond this your ego and mind is also working, your mind works similar like security system it will protect the ego, mind will be to conscious it will give all updates and tell ego all the worst thing which can happen to him and prepare for the worst, here your inner state is fully focused and narrow toward your left leg but your mind had forgotten the other parts of the body( right leg). If you are able to switch here, to show your mind other body part which are normal for fraction of second you can see the pain is gone. You might have also experienced this in other form in different circumstances. The example I have given you is like theory but in practical it is bit difficult, (here your mind is telling it is difficult to ego) . This will teach you to see positive side of your life. Hope it help you in some manner. Just don't lose hope you are trying your best and I can say you are a positive person, you are looking to the solutions like watching this type of videos..The process of nature is slow and you are human and part of it.😀✌️ ruclips.net/video/kv1UT1byFbE/видео.html Watch this video too.👆👆 And read a book by name "Atomic Habit". Sorry if I wrote something wrong🙏
Unfortunately with the continued lockdowns, there is no opportunity for human interaction. The internet here in the Philippines is insufficient for video calls to the US. So no hugs or anything is available to me. I have been living alone since 2011
My husband and I are separated geographically by border closings. I have not seen my husband in one year and am at my breaking point. I am not doing well. I do live by the Ocean. But, I have no motivation and feel ill. I am generally very healthy.
Thank u for this message it teaches me how important hugs are☺.I honestly miss hugs but dnt have frens who r brave to come out to meet.My friends are nt a hugging type.
Yeah, and now, since the digital revolution, people bond with a lot more difficulty even in the face of opportunity, due to this unhealthy addiction to loneliness. Everyone is less likely to put in the effort to connect whilist being very aware of the fact that bonding is essential in all possible ways. Even employers look for people who are open, willing to connect and work well as a team. This paradox is more twisted than scoliosis.
I can relate to that. Most of my closest connections are with friends who live a thousand miles away so we talk on the phone and extended family members - my elderly mom or my brother and his family. Except with the pandemic the only person I see regularly in person is my mom. She mentions being invited to wedding receptions, baby showers etc but I haven't been to one of those for probably 15 years. I can't remember the last party I was invited to, but I am okay with that.
I understand how you feel. I haven't had a hug for four months and when I did get hugs they were shorter than the 8 seconds in this video. One thing this video mentions is how lonely many people are feeling. I have to remind myself that (sadly) a lot of other people are in the same boat. Many but not all my online friends are living with someone but many are not. I have to remind myself that I am not alone in my loneliness.
I don't have family or friends either. It can be quite hard not to have that human connection. I hope your okay now?😔. Its not easy but I understand exactly how you feel. 😭😭😭 At the moment I am working towards getting social connections e.g Mental health support groups or social groups. Or other people to talk to when I need to express my feelings. I really hope things get better for you, there is help available in the world, you are not alone. 💞💞
I am desperately lonely.. But much more than just lonely, there is something profoundly wrong with me. I suppose it's anxiety, but I don't really know. I had lung surgery a year ago and I've never been the same since. I feel terrible all day and I have no idea what to do about it.
Thats why I think doctors should give us hugs because sometimes we dont get those at home. Why are most doctors not wanting to give their patients comfort of a hug? Some may, but I cant think of very many lol. We dont bite for gosh sakes. 🤔😂 A hug is reassuring and comforting and feels like a dose of medicine. 👍
I believe that loneliness is just side effect of lacking social skills. Social skills to find new friends and been able to hold them, social skills when it comes to find intimate partner and been able to have high quality intimate relationship. To my surprise not even psychologist (those I have visited - 5 of them) do not understand skills when it comes to dating, approaching women etc.
Hello Wonderful video! What if someone knows why he or she is anxious, let's say, due to constant physical sensations, how could that be calmed down? Since, the physical sensations constantly reminds the brain and the person feels anxious. Physical sensations like choking sensation or breathing difficulties.
I'm watching this crying. I've isolated this year because of fear of rejection. It's December & I have Covid. I let someone in my life & I was rejected. It literally hurt my body. I was confused was it the virus or being rejected
Is it wrong if you really don't want to socialise and always feel better when you are alone? Am I unique in only feeling relaxed and myself when alone? I am a self employed artist and am at my most happy when painting. If it is an effort to talk to people and to get pleasure from social interaction then does that mean I am mentally ill? I always feel when with other people that I have to be able to say interesting and witty things to them in order for them to engage with me or I have to respond to their remarks in a way that they find amusing or stimulating. If you enjoy peoples company it should be because you feel relaxed and at ease with those people and anything said should be spontaneous and free. If you have to put up a false front and not be genuine with people then you are living a lie. So many people do this in work where they are forced to spend 8 hours a day with people that they don't really connect with. That is not how we should live our lives.
I have never had friends or a romantic partner in my entire life. Be grateful if you have them
Same here. It makes living hard.
Did you put yourself out there
Same, my life is hell been an empath, i just get used, attract narcissist,, even my daughter lied about so many things to go be with rich family, shes gone now, i watch assholes get treated great by there partners, my backs on fire 24/7 , i cant sleep unless i drink two bottles of wine pernight with pills, im smart, ok looking, but na,, i feel as thow im paying karma back from last life, im 37 years old, my 3 girl friends i had during my life cheated on me, would not have sex with me after a few times,, excuses were,, ''i was raped''' ha funny that because they had no problem sleeping with my so called mates,, im in so much pain my body can barely go for a ten min walk,, doctors are useless,, im over it, as soon as i get a gun im out of here,, iv tryed heater in bath, fail, hanging, fail, over dose fail, loss of blood, fail, surely a gun to brain should work, i cant wait to die.
@@thunderdrake13 You're probably trying to be helpful, but it came across as a super condescending question. That's probably one of the first things he tried, and chances are he's come back to it more than once over the years.
I definitely recommend therapy, if you at all can. (a) all of a sudden you have someone on your side who genuinely wants to help and is patient while your system learns it's safe to trust them, and (b) if anyone asks if you're seeing someone... you can say "why yes I am. a therapist"
Sadly, this is the reality for a lot of people regardless of covid. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have a loving family, friends or someone to give them a hug. Without meaningful relationships, life is just surviving and it gets harder to find a reason to bother. There is no one to notice anyway.
I’ve felt this isolated from people for 25 years. I feel like my life is on repeat. Every time I get close to feeling a part of something or getting the career I want, it gets taken away from me. I just lost my job due to the pandemic’s affects on business. I’m at a really low point. Fortunately, I have a family and my role as a dad keeps me sane, but everything outside of my family life is empty. Your videos help me so much.
I hope things get better 🫂
Always know that you are never lonely. The earth, air, sun, plants, water and even a small insects are always around us. change your perception about loneliness. Look around. loneliness is a lie you tell yourself. Its like you are saying you are hungry when you are already full. and the only way out is the awareness.. breathe in and breathe out, recognise air how much its helping you to live. same way with the sun, plants and each and every elements and how we are intricately connected to eachother. I hope this truly help someone who feels loneliness. Love you.
God bless you
Speaking of how many hugs a day we need to survive and all, I'd be already dead long time ago. True, I am dead inside but that doesn't count.
Yeah, that therapist who famously said how many hugs people need a day was just speculating and the emotional states she mentions are subjective. Before the pandemic I did receive a few short hugs a week. But I haven't had a date or boyfriend for over 11 years, even though I would like both. Not always happy but definitely surviving!
Yes it does count and you count
Personally I think for a lot of people absolute loneliness could be a thing that is the only way to truly bring themselves to their own hearts. To grow in a way they would never expect to experience. Loneliness is often our enemy but it has slowly become my friend. Time and space could mean healing in the way you need. Especially in this day and age, where everything seems restless and fast.
Nothingness and emptiness can feel very scary for a long time, but slowly you realise there's beauty in the quiet places. You'll not be the same person once you arrive in an accepting state of mind/heart. So don't be afraid of loneliness. Move on from a place of love and trust in the proces. There are hidden gifts in loneliness. That's what I experienced living alone for a long time.
My anxiety with socializing has been bad my entire life. I had a break down last fall. I still feel the effects of that today. At first the social distancing actually help with my anxiety and depression, but I think it is slowly making it worse. Covid itself gives me a whole bunch of different worries daily. Thank you for the video, they do help, you give me the correct words to communicate properly when I meet with my therapist so that I can work through issues more efficiently. I know it’s a long road.
Maybe this will explain the abused childs mind?....Once abused...we separate ourselves!....than many become the addict!....This was cheerful!!
I was lonely before corona!
yow sir can you be my friend? ☺️
Thank you so much for this video. I'm finding myself struggling with loneliness. It's really worn me down. I'm going to implement some of your tips. ❤️
I have been struggling with loneliness for a while. It is hard for me to make friends. I feel like I've tried everything to make friends. Being a friend to others, attending Bible studies, and church, and talking with my family. I still feel alone. I don't have meaningful relationships in my life. I have tried telling people who I thought cared about me about my feelings of loneliness but they don't give me the support I need. I told my therapist I didn't have friends and she was persistent and kept saying I did. I don't know how to deal with loneliness other than making friends but in this day and age, making any sort of relationship seems impossible.
Something I did for a friend that was feeling down was a "heart attack." You get friends, family, and even coworkers to write a nice message on a paper heart. A contactless way is to have them send it to you digitally and print it out. Then attach the hearts to the person's door. I used a posterboard but they can be directly attached to the door instead. This cheered my friend up tremendously. I snuck over and did it at night then after I left, I texted him and said "hmmmm, I drove by your house and there's something weird on your door."
I would love to have 12 hugs a day but I live alone.
One hug a year from a welcomed person would be nice
We can hug ourselves too don’t forget
Deborah. Even when things open up I will be alone with no one to hug. Even before watching this video, I used to say that 'I am so lonely I feel sick". Nothing new to me. Whoever you are Deborah, I hope 1000 HUGS come your way because it is so brave for you to make that statement and so you deserve them. So there you go...hug number one from me through my words. 999 more to go!
@@dannyboy299 hug for you from me to BOTH OF YOU 😍💜❤💙🧡💚💛
I would give you twice as much
Thank you for the informative clinical information about loneliness. The lonely can certainly identify with these facts. How lovely it must be to be an outgoing person and in a position to pursue the activities suggested. For those introverts without jobs to go to which create feelings of productivity; nor families to hug and with whom to talk, time passes slowly; even under ideal conditions. As history shows an inability on the part of humanity as a whole to maintain balance, I fear that the social distancing, mistrust in others, fear, anger, and depression that have arisen will be present, if not forever, for many years to come.
Yeah the social distancing may creat mistrust and futherness in some new friendship because humans focus on distancing themselves on each other faces.The sad part is we cant see their smile on their face.I know I wish to see people smile when they greet us.The social distancing rule has given people no chance to neet friends often and therefore sometimes we have to keep out frustrations and sadness and worries to ourself if our friends were Nt the type who does not make phone calls to chat.We may suffer from depression if we have kept anger and traumatic fear and bitterness from our childhood abuse as an introvert and not having chance 2 meet close friends and see their smile now and then .Its worst when close friends parents wont let them come out to meet me because of Covid.
These are some really helpful tips - there's so many that are struggling from loneliness and we don't even realize it!
I know VERY well that I need more human interaction, connection and emotionally safe relationships. It's just that I am not able to change my life in this direction, I'm too afraid of rejection and, VERY easily get triggered into freeze respons and isolation. It's a moment 22 situation that I can't think myself out from. One day I might feel connected, I reach out to make connection, unfortunately often only online... Then, if I get no respons or if it's is delayed, I tend to fall into freeze.
Human interaction through texting CAN work like a Top-down regulation but only for a while. My body will soon realize it's alone, signal danger and shut me down to pure survival.
I am a 58 year old first child of a mother who was not at all able to emotionally connect and coregulate. I was a "cry baby" fed every three hours then left alone. Attachment trauma on the deepest most primitive level.
Oh no... I can’t ask people for movie night or join a bowling club right now. Hmmm but I did start a community page called “positively among friends”
Can't be lonely due to social distancing if I was already lonely to start with. I can't decide whether seeing other people suffer with what I've experienced my whole life is darkly cathartic or just more depressing.
this is why they want to isolate all of us....we need each other and without human connection in person we will get sicker and more depressed and sad, etc...
Thanks for this! This all is so essential and just right now!
You have helped a lot, I haven’t quite mastered rewiring the anxious brain or loneliness but certainly working on it, you have given me some good pointers. It helped with shaking out the emotions as well thank you x
For such an important heavy issue, this video is surprisingly pleasant to watch
This is extremely close to what all of us are going through.. thank you
This video was extremely helpful for me. Thank you from this 73 yr old.
I feel like I'm more likely to die from loneliness than the Covid.
If you need someone to talk to then text me
I think I will too. Take care my friend.
Great psychology lecture. 👍🏼 Based on what I experienced in the past few days... most people who are feeling lonely will shy away from the first part of the post. 😔😢 They will say that you’re “fear mongering.” Can you believe that? Just stating the truth about health repercussions of anything sends people into such defensive modes today. 😞
This made me fantastically grateful to all my friends and loved ones.
This is one of the most relevant and meaningful videos I've ever seen. Thank you for this!!!
I (47) have been lonely my entire life. I suffer from cptsd: which for me means low selfesteem / lack of identity, emotion regulation problems, anxiety and depersonalisation.
“Be alone, that is the secret of invention; be alone, that is when ideas are born.”
~ Nikola Tesla
Not every time loneliness is a bad thing. What you do when you are alone matters.
@@janetownley Yes. I was just telling my opinion
This is a good positive perspective about being alone
That’s because being alone and loneliness aren’t the same thing. At least they don’t have to be. You can feel lonely surrounded by hundreds of people. You can feel happy while being alone most of the time, because you have a few people in your family or friend group that you’re really close to and feel connected to :)
Probably that's why Tesla became completely looney towards the end of his life and fell in love with a pigeon
let s remember that the (genius) Nicola Tesla was so lonely at the end of his life that he had fallen in love with a pigeon -yes, an actual bird- that frequented the square near the hotel where he lived, on his own, for his last years
Great video my friend. Wishing you happiness and success.
Well said, Emma. I'm always so thankful for your videos and help.
Just love your videos, they are so deep, practical and hopeful. Thank you so much for doing this work!
All I gotta say is that I am screwed. No friends, no social connection and no nothing. People are too selfish nowadays to love one another. Its always a person for themselves
Great video quality and very thoughtful. Thank you!
love to take the courses to expensive for me .love all your sections so far thanks a million
I love being alone. I absolutely love it! I love living alone.... I would say... get a dog and you will not only know TRUE LOVE... but you will also NEVER be lonely. You were born alone and will die alone... we have always been alone. Even when in relationship you can feel alone. So embrace it.
Thank you for this. I am going to try to reach out to people. I'm suffering with anxiety and depression for the first time in my life at the moment.
This is such great information. Thank you so much for sharing all of this! As a teacher and wellness educator, I know I’ll be referring to this and sharing it!
I really needed this today, thank you.
None of us chose social 'distancing'.
This life is a very lonely journey for me. 🥺
I’m always there for people and try to make friends but it’s not reciprocated. I deserve to have people in my life who show up for me like I do them. I’d rather be alone.
I’ve been lonely almost all my life! I lost all my friends by pushing them away!
brilliant research and work !
My goal is to get relief from depression and anxiety and to get my confidence back
I have never been hugged by my mother or anyone in my family. My mother rejected me and I have felt rejected all my life.
Love your voice tone. Very soothing. You're a beautiful Existence 🙏✨💚
Wonderful channel! Love the content.
When this all started, I was like - welcome to the club, now y'all know what it's like to be scared to get close to people! Interestingly enough, the energy that I'd've normally used feeling shame (if you haven't noticed, loneliness is the butt of the jokes) and put it into processing and have made great progress in therapy. Betcha by the time this is over, I'll have overcome twenty years of believing I couldn't get close to anyone. And maybe someone will ask me "how did you learn to thrive as an anxious person" and I'll say "EMDR and COVID".
At least we can exercise, eat healthy, take supplements - antioxidants and plenty of Omega 3, to reduce inflamation and other insults on our body caused by the unholy trinity of loneliness: Individualist ideology, the digital revolution, and Covid-19 as the cherry on top of this whole thing.
So true. Even worse Trump gave more money to pay pastors' salaries than the US has spent on Covid-19 healthcare and stimulus combined. Not only is that unconstitutional, religion is the last thing people need right now.
@@mateosmind751 Reading or hearing his name lowers my immune system
@@pacha7977 there should be a trigger warning before using his name 😭
"reach out, take the initiative if you wait for others they probably won't"..why don't others take the initiative? I am almost always the one..sick of it
Wow, I'm ,61 yo now and maybe the loneliest I've ever been. Asking questions ppl tend to dislike. Not a very shallow person. No idea what it takes, I'm kind, thoughtful, nice, just not one someone wants to be close to. So hard even as a Christian. Was always lonely and never seemed to fit in much and if you deal with anxiety, all the more difficult.
*The social distancing can be more detrimental than Covid itself!*
Then greater efforts must be made to remain in contact irrespective of physical distance.
Lies
Ever since things have opened back up after the Lockdown I have a new social anxiety I’ve never had before. I’m now afraid to do the things I used to (perform in theatre, go to dance class, socialize outside of my house, go to Applebee’s by myself, etc.) It’s gotten so bad that now I’m in physical pain, more depressed than I was, unmotivated to even find a job. I’ve been unemployed for months and I’m just not motivated to do anything about it.
I have close friends but they are married with kids and can’t socialize like they used to.
I know I need to get out of my house and be around like minded people but I’m afraid. I’ve already had COVID and I’m vaccinated so I’m not afraid of getting sick. I think I’m actually afraid of being around other people because I’ve been so isolated since 2020.
Even my dad said something about me being so isolated and not having a show that I’m rehearsing for. That hurts to hear.
I also sing and haven’t been motivated to sing because my vocal coach ghosted me during the Pandemic and I’m out of practice.
I feel like a huge part of who I am is gone and I am scared to go get it back.
Getting started is the hardest and scariest part for me, but once I get out and going I’m completely fine and feel like my “pre-pandemic” self.
It’s getting there, the depression and having no motivation that is the hardest part.
What do I do to push myself through this hard, scary af point so I can get back to civilization?
If corona virus has taught us anything, it's that we have become totally addicted to compulsive consumption and consequently fragile and vulnerable to social change
I'm a single and lonely guy. I observe this:
Single men are looking for someone who can settle down.
Single women are looking for someone who can travel the world.
Not all woman
There’s some truth to that
I just got the booster shot yesterday and I’ve been awake for 24 hours. It’s kicking my ass rn
I am also missing my friends physical presence when I lost my job.I am facing some digestive issues at home leading to anger.
Thank you Emma. Love you! 💗
Social anxiety paried with the feeling of being socially inept really throws a wrench into this. The thought of rejection due to those things usually shies me away from even trying.
It was legitimately difficult to type my comment as concisely as I did without rambling. v_v”
I know of someone who can help you who helped me also for free
Olivia Stephanie Who may that be exactly?
Yes, social distancing will become a permanent thing.
I’m lonely. I have been for a long time because of how I was raised. After my fiancé left, my heart broke. I have really no hope of adult connection, friendships, love, and true partnership. My heart hurts every day. I’ve had all sorts of symptoms. It sucks to know that most of us who are lonely and care about our health, might as well have been popular smokers lol.
We weren't made for living with strangers all the time.
You touched upon a topic so important not only in these current times. Thank you for your life saving contributions here. Love you for this. Wish you good health and further success with your work.
As a man that never opens up or speaks about my issues. I'm experiencing a reoccurring nightmare a few days per week. I am visited by a demonic entity that takes the shape of an old man. He has a bruised up face and his eye balls are hanging out of the eye sockets. He comes into my bedroom places both his hands on my shoulders looks me in the face and says "you were destined to be alone, no one will ever love you and if you were to scream no one will help you because no one cares" then he raises his voice and says the following words "you will be alone forever" he says this 3x and while he says this his grip begins to tighten around my shoulders. And at this particular moment in time I am experiencing what can only be described as the purest form of fear it's actually unbearable. It's feel like I am going to p!ss my pants. As if you were 7 years old again and one of your siblings convinced you that something was a hiding in the dark. At this moment I wake up and my heart begins to pound through my chest and I start scanning the room for the old man. This is where it feels like I'm having a panic attack. I've come to realize that when you don't have someone to speak to after a certain amount of time your mind actually begins to crack. I'm a strong person I am very resilient but physiologically my stress is beginning to impact me. And it's getting worse and worse.
Great info Emma and thanks for sharing! This makes so much sense being that we’re created in the image of a triune Creator whose existed in community for eternity.
Nonsense. God is imaginary. People are real.
Since 11-12 years old I’ve been living alone at my home cause my parents work all day almost every day (now I’m almost 20) and since a month now I seriously CAN’T stay alone without panicking and having anxiety over the smallest things. I’ve went to like a million doctors thinking I’m sick and every week I have a new symptom. I don’t even know what’s wrong with me anymore. Is it depression? Anxiety? Loneliness? I’ll most likely visit a psychiatrist
I haven't done it yet but I plan to host a Pictionary-like game through Zoom. First with just friends, and then another one on a community group. :)
What do u do when all the ppl in ur life hurt u
How do you remember how you felt in yourself? Like that emotional connection with/in your body. And how do you keep that emotional connection without forgetting your sense of body/self when talking to people.
EGO is who remembers emotional connections- 1st question answer
@@rahulx2217 oh so it's your ego?
@@s.w_8876 No it was my mind who answered.
@@rahulx2217 how do you get your ego back? My memory is extremely bad after recovering from a chronic illness so apologies
@@s.w_8876 See the feeling and suffering you have gone through will be really difficult to understand because you know it well how it feels in that state, if I had made to go through that same condition it will also be different because we both are different entities and time , space, location, social etc everything is different. But there are some things which works same let me give you an example:- suppose u have pain in your left leg if we consider biological view your Brain and other things are working to heal that thing but beyond this your ego and mind is also working, your mind works similar like security system it will protect the ego, mind will be to conscious it will give all updates and tell ego all the worst thing which can happen to him and prepare for the worst, here your inner state is fully focused and narrow toward your left leg but your mind had forgotten the other parts of the body( right leg). If you are able to switch here, to show your mind other body part which are normal for fraction of second you can see the pain is gone. You might have also experienced this in other form in different circumstances. The example I have given you is like theory but in practical it is bit difficult, (here your mind is telling it is difficult to ego) . This will teach you to see positive side of your life. Hope it help you in some manner. Just don't lose hope you are trying your best and I can say you are a positive person, you are looking to the solutions like watching this type of videos..The process of nature is slow and you are human and part of it.😀✌️
ruclips.net/video/kv1UT1byFbE/видео.html
Watch this video too.👆👆 And read a book by name "Atomic Habit". Sorry if I wrote something wrong🙏
I haven't hung out with a member of my peer group in almost 5 years
Unfortunately with the continued lockdowns, there is no opportunity for human interaction. The internet here in the Philippines is insufficient for video calls to the US. So no hugs or anything is available to me. I have been living alone since 2011
rip my immune system
“Work less”
*cries in essential employee*
unfortunely I have a high risk family member so meeting others physical in person is difficult as more processions needs to be taken.
My husband and I are separated geographically by border closings. I have not seen my husband in one year and am at my breaking point. I am not doing well. I do live by the Ocean. But, I have no motivation and feel ill. I am generally very healthy.
thanks for the video
Thank u for this message it teaches me how important hugs are☺.I honestly miss hugs but dnt have frens who r brave to come out to meet.My friends are nt a hugging type.
Very informative!
I am so used to being alone ,because of my anxiety I avoid society for years it's crazy ,I am so used to it that I enjoy it
Yeah, and now, since the digital revolution, people bond with a lot more difficulty even in the face of opportunity, due to this unhealthy addiction to loneliness. Everyone is less likely to put in the effort to connect whilist being very aware of the fact that bonding is essential in all possible ways. Even employers look for people who are open, willing to connect and work well as a team. This paradox is more twisted than scoliosis.
I can relate to that. Most of my closest connections are with friends who live a thousand miles away so we talk on the phone and extended family members - my elderly mom or my brother and his family. Except with the pandemic the only person I see regularly in person is my mom. She mentions being invited to wedding receptions, baby showers etc but I haven't been to one of those for probably 15 years. I can't remember the last party I was invited to, but I am okay with that.
What is your advice if a person has no family like myself? I have no one to hug. I want to die soon.
I understand how you feel. I haven't had a hug for four months and when I did get hugs they were shorter than the 8 seconds in this video. One thing this video mentions is how lonely many people are feeling. I have to remind myself that (sadly) a lot of other people are in the same boat. Many but not all my online friends are living with someone but many are not. I have to remind myself that I am not alone in my loneliness.
I don't have family or friends either. It can be quite hard not to have that human connection. I hope your okay now?😔. Its not easy but I understand exactly how you feel. 😭😭😭
At the moment I am working towards getting social connections e.g Mental health support groups or social groups. Or other people to talk to when I need to express my feelings.
I really hope things get better for you, there is help available in the world, you are not alone. 💞💞
I am desperately lonely.. But much more than just lonely, there is something profoundly wrong with me. I suppose it's anxiety, but I don't really know.
I had lung surgery a year ago and I've never been the same since. I feel terrible all day and I have no idea what to do about it.
Loneliness not "lonliness". Thumbnail has a typo
Thats why I think doctors should give us hugs because sometimes we dont get those at home. Why are most doctors not wanting to give their patients comfort of a hug? Some may, but I cant think of very many lol. We dont bite for gosh sakes. 🤔😂 A hug is reassuring and comforting and feels like a dose of medicine. 👍
*Our brains are wired for connection!*
I believe that loneliness is just side effect of lacking social skills. Social skills to find new friends and been able to hold them, social skills when it comes to find intimate partner and been able to have high quality intimate relationship. To my surprise not even psychologist (those I have visited - 5 of them) do not understand skills when it comes to dating, approaching women etc.
I got a couple hugs in the last year. Just one more thing I failed at.
Not good but excellent 👌
Four hugs a day ? Lol. That’s more than a years worth for me.
Hello
Wonderful video!
What if someone knows why he or she is anxious, let's say, due to constant physical sensations, how could that be calmed down?
Since, the physical sensations constantly reminds the brain and the person feels anxious.
Physical sensations like choking sensation or breathing difficulties.
Nothing good will ever come from being around normal people.
So what did the great French playwright Jean Paul Sartre mean when he stated "Hell is .... other people"?
I'm watching this crying. I've isolated this year because of fear of rejection. It's December & I have Covid. I let someone in my life & I was rejected. It literally hurt my body. I was confused was it the virus or being rejected
I got rejected to, I totally understand how you feel😭. It made me unwell because it triggered me, because I got bullied for years.
Do you know your attachment style, Olivia?
This has not helped my son, HOW DO I GET HELP with safe intervention in his psychotic episode?
@@janetownley thank you
I am so lonely atp I feel like I am better off dead
Been isolated fore 5 yrs im screwed
Can't cuddle cus im realy ahakey insecure hate me self
Is it wrong if you really don't want to socialise and always feel better when you are alone? Am I unique in only feeling relaxed and myself when alone? I am a self employed artist and am at my most happy when painting. If it is an effort to talk to people and to get pleasure from social interaction then does that mean I am mentally ill? I always feel when with other people that I have to be able to say interesting and witty things to them in order for them to engage with me or I have to respond to their remarks in a way that they find amusing or stimulating. If you enjoy peoples company it should be because you feel relaxed and at ease with those people and anything said should be spontaneous and free. If you have to put up a false front and not be genuine with people then you are living a lie. So many people do this in work where they are forced to spend 8 hours a day with people that they don't really connect with. That is not how we should live our lives.
Nice
*Loneliness is dangerous* - We are social beings!
That’s how sexual transmitted disease stared by being social
@@benjaminnavarrete9358 If you haven't had an STD, you aren't living. Come out from under your rock.
@@mateosmind751 - ugh. Why would anyone want an STD?