I do not own the rights to this clip. All rights to the distribution of this film are held by MGM, Fox, and Lions Gate. From The Princess Bride, directed by Rob Reiner, 1987.
The sad thing was that as big as the dude was, he could barely lift his own arms. He needed fake rocks for the rock throw scene. He had to eat a bazillion calories just to maintain his massive body, but he wasn't actually very strong
And it doesn't have a bunch of sjw bs slapping you in the face. Its just a good, family friendly movie you can watch with your kids and your grandparents
@ivan jursdotter man you know the crazy thing is he could barely lift anything. Like those rocks were fake rocks, when he was a wrestler they had to have fake props for him to use because he could barely lift his own arms.
@@booqueefious2230 I think that was only when we got older and started having tons of back issues. Before that he was a hulk rivaling that of Wilt chamberlain. It’s crazy to see how strong these behemoths are
I saw Cary Elwes at the Boston Fan Expo last year. During his panel discussion he told a story about Andre on the first day of shooting. The scene was where they're spying on the castle right after Wesley is given the miracle cure. Andre the Giant let out a 16-second fart that brought the entire production to a standstill. During the shoot, which Elwes said lasted for about a month-and-a-half, the cast and crew grew very close. "I can't remember a day without laughter.
I actually get the feeling the reason why it took awhile was because the pill didn't reach full potency yet. Before Inigo and Fezzik gave Wesley the pill, Fezzik goes "Has it been fifteen minutes?" Inigo responds with, "We can't wait that long." (I think. I haven't seen the movie in over 5 years)
Inigo: This is loyal,sir. His wife is...crippled. His children are on the brink of starvation. Miracle Max: Are you a rotten liar! Inigo: I need him to help avenge my father, murdered these twenty years. Miracle Max: Your first story was better.
+FailenW59 Rob Reiner, knowing that he had Billy Crystal there, let him improvise quite a bit........because that's one of the things that Billy does best.........but the only person that Billy said was better than him, was the late, great ROBIN........
The summer of 1990 after I graduated high school I had the pleasure of being a group counselor at the camp I went to in Arcadia, Michigan for a week every summer where us counselors were in charge of groups of 8 junior high kids for a week. One night, they had a movie night and us counselors chose Princess Bride. I would say hardly any of the kids had seen it before but us counselors knew this beloved movie very well. We were in back trying our best NOT to say all the funny lines throughout the movie, but it was impossible. We would roar with laughter and had many of the kids laughing as well. Hopefully, most left camp that week with a newfound appreciation of this classic. I’ll never forget bonding with my fellow counselors that night though. Movies like this bring out the best in people, and I’m grateful to have seen it many times with others who appreciate it as much as I do.
Pretty sure they gave him a rough outline of what to say, maybe just a couple lines he had to include bc it was important to the plot but I’m 99% sure that almost the whole thing was improvised and that was actually one of the criteria the actor asked for when taking the role!
“Look, I’m retired! And besides, why would you want someone the King’s stinking son fired? I might kill whoever you wanna make the miracle!” Dolorous Edd: “He’s already dead.” *looks at Jon Snow’s dead body* “He is, huh? I’ll take a look. Bring him in.”
I love Billy Crystal, He's one of my top favorite actors in movies of all time, But I also find him to be very funny as Miracle Max in the Princess Bride, too! I Remember he was also the voice of Mike Wazowski in monsters Inc. too as well!
A sales lesson in motion: the “hot button.” Find that thing that the client needs/desires and PUSH IT. Montoya realized the hatred Miracle Max had towards the prince and USED IT. That is how you sell something.
@@kelvincalloway5968 I don’t know if that is “supply & demand”, maybe you meant timing/moment to seize something. Supply & demand would be prices allowed for market if there were many miracle workers who made pills all in the forest. Max & his wife seemingly had a monopoly. They had all supply & thus all demand went to them: high price. If there are many “miracle men” and few needed miracles it would be a lower demand/more supply.
Fun Fact: The Miracle Max makeup took so long to put on that Billy Crystal wore it all day. And because he didn’t really feel right having the makeup on without doing the voice, he stayed in character throughout their meal breaks.
Ajila Waya what makes it better is that Andre was supposed to be the one to say he is the brute squad but he slipped and billy crystal immediately improvised by saying his line and it was kept in the movie
"Sonny, true love really is the greatest thing in the world... that and a nice MLT, a mutton lettuce & tomato sandwich where the mutton is nice and lean, and the tomato is ripe [smacks lips] it's so perky like that." completely improvised.
@@MasterAnakinSkyWalker your right I just read he improvised 13th century period jokes, three days straight, 10 hours a day, never the same thing, never the same line twice. I can't imagine how that must of been for the whole crew lmao like a 10 hour comedy show 🤣🤣
I’ve been meaning to find this scene since the Kennedy Center Honors tribute to Billy! Can’t believe he and Rob Reiner did The Princess Bride & When Harry Met Sally together! Both equally wonderful 80’s romcoms
Andre and Crystal were the best in this flick. do NOT get me wrong, i loved Wright's and Elwes' Performances along with Patkin and Guest but to me these two stood out more in this flick. For pure humor and relatable kindness, I love Andre but pure sarcastic humor? I loved Billy the most, he was just funny when he first appeared. Never get tired of his 1st rant at Inigo and Fezzik.
(Inigo knocks on the door.) Miracle Max: Go away. (Inigo continues knocking. A face appears through a small door on the main door.) Miracle Max: What, what? Inigo Montoya: Are you the Miracle Max who worked for the King all those years? Miracle Max: The King’s stinking son fired me. And thank you so much for bringing up such a painful subject. While you’re at it, why don’t you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it? We’re closed. (He closes the door. They knock again.) Beat it, or I’ll call the Brute Squad! Fezzik: I’m on the Brute Squad. Miracle Max: (Looks up at the giant of a man) You ARE the Brute Squad. Inigo Montoya: We need a miracle. It’s very important. Miracle Max: Look, I’m retired. Besides, why would you want someone the King’s stinking son fired? I might kill whoever you wanted me to miracle. Inigo Montoya: He’s already dead. Miracle Max: He is, huh? I’ll take a look. Bring him in. (They enter and place Westley on the table. Max examines him.) Miracle Max: I’ve seen worse. Inigo Montoya: Sir? Sir? Miracle Max: Huh? Inigo Montoya: We’re in a terrible rush. Miracle Max: Don’t rush me, sonny. You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles. You got money? Inigo Montoya: Sixty-five. Miracle Max: Sheesh! I never worked for so little. Except once, and that was a very noble cause. Inigo Montoya: This is noble, sir. His wife is… crippled. The children are on the brink of starvation. Miracle Max: Are you a rotten liar! Inigo Montoya: I need him to help avenge my father, murdered these twenty years. Miracle Max: Your first story was better. Where’s that bellows cram? He probably owes you money, huh? Well, I’ll ask him. Inigo Montoya: He’s dead. He can’t talk. Miracle Max: Hoo hoo, look who knows so much, heh? Well, it just so happens that your friend here is only mostly dead. There’s a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Please, open his mouth. (Starts pumping the bellows into Westley’s mouth) Now, mostly dead is slightly alive. Now, all dead… well, with all dead, there’s usually only one thing that you can do. Inigo Montoya: What’s that? Miracle Max: Go through his clothes and look for loose change. (Stops the bellows and shouts in Westley’s ear) Hey! Hello in there! Hey! What’s so important? What you got here that’s worth living for? Westley: True…love… Inigo Montoya: True love! You heard him? You could not ask for a more noble cause than that. Miracle Max: Sonny, true Love is the greatest thing in the world, except for a nice MLT - mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, when the mutton is nice and lean, and the tomato is ripe. They’re so perky. I love that. But that’s not what he said - he distinctly said “To blave,” and as we all know, “to blave” means to bluff, heh? So you were probably playing cards, and he cheated- (Valerie, Miracle Max‘s wife appears and starts marching torwads Max.) Valerie: Liar! Liar! Liar! Miracle Max: Get back, witch! Valerie: I’m not a witch, I’m your wife, but after what you just said, I’m not even sure I want to be that anymore. Miracle Max: You never had it so good. Valerie: True love. He said true love, Max. My God. Miracle Max: Don’t say another word, Valerie. Valerie: He’s afraid. Ever since Prince Humperdinck fired him, his confidence is shattered. Miracle Max: Why’d you say that name? You promised me that you would never say that name! Valerie: What… Humperdinck? Miracle Max: Haah! Valerie: Humperdinck! Humperdinck! Humperdinck! Humperdinck! Humperdinck! Humperdinck! Miracle Max: I’m not listening. Valerie: True love lies expiring, and you don’t have the decency to say why you won’t help. Miracle Max: Nobody’s hearing nothing! Valerie: Humperdinck! Humperdinck! Inigo Montoya: This is Buttercup’s true love. If you heal him, he will stop Humperdinck’s wedding. Miracle Max: (To Valerie) Shut up! (Turns toward Inigo) Wait, wait. I make him better, Humperdinck suffers? Inigo Montoya: Humiliations galore. Miracle Max: Ha ha ha! That is a noble cause! Gimme the sixty-five. I’m on the job. Valerie: Woo-woo! (Time passes. Valerie covers a huge pill with chocolate.) Inigo Montoya: That’s a miracle pill? Valerie: The chocolate coating makes it go down easier, but you have to wait fifteen minutes for full potency, and he shouldn’t go in swimming after for at least- what? Miracle Max: An hour- Valerie: Yeah, an hour- Miracle Max: A good hour. Here. Inigo Montoya: (Leaves the hut) Thank you for everything. Miracle Max: Okay. Valerie: Bye-bye, boys! Miracle Max: Have fun storming the castle. Valerie: Think it’ll work? Miracle Max: It would take a miracle. (To the leaving Inigo and Fezzik) Bye-bye! Valerie: Bye.
I realize now who Miracle Max reminds of, both physically and in his mannerisms: Mel Brooks' "2,000 year old man" character! If you've ever seen the animated version of that sketch, I think maybe you can see where Billy Crystal might have gotten some inspiration for the character! 😁
True love is the greatest thing in the world.. except for a nice MLT, mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich where the mutton is nice and lean, and the tomato is ripe….so perky!! I love it.
It will always be extra funny to me that he went out of his way to make it harder on himself by saying "to blave" instead of to bluff in the first place.
Кино
*looks at a dead guy*
"I've seen worse."
Fezec: What's worse than this?
Miracle Man: Bones!
He’s only mostly dead
In what? A mirror?
tis but a scratch
@@lochnessmobster9026 You’re a loony
"Have fun storming the castle" is probably the quote my family uses the most often
Rightly so! Gets me every time.
My mom always says this memorable quote "I'm not a witch I'm your wife"
Same my mom says It each time she drops me off for school.
"Get back witch!"
"I'm not a witch, I'm your wife!"
+RepellentJeff
"...But after what you just said, I'm not even sure I wanna be that any more!"
"You never had it so good."
same difference
That line was the funniest in my childhood
Most realistic relationship in this movie
3:03 I’m not a witch I’m your wife!
I read Director Rob Reiner laughed so how hard during this scene being filmed he had to leave the set while they were shooting any of it.
@Tigerman1138 Not just Reiner, the crew too were trying so hard not to laugh cause how outrageously hilarious Billy’s performance was.
Apparently it was because Billy Crystal improved every take that was different from the last so they could never get used to it.
14 people are on the brute squad
@@Lily8061 He improvised 13th century period jokes, three days straight, 10 hours a day, never the same thing, never the same line twice. lmao
@@raynar01 sounds right.
"Now _that_ is a noble cause! Gimme the $65"
Man, this writing was fantastic
Indeed. Genius using Billly Crystal as miracle max
I think billy was improvising much of this, according to lore.
@@joshcarlton9184 According to the meathead yes
"Beat it, or I'll call the brute squad!"
"I'm on the brute squad."
"You *are* the brute squad!"
That will never not be funny to me
As he looks him up and down. 🤣
0:24
In the book Andre the Giant's character joins the brute squad because there was promise of good payment for doing the job.
@@jamesplunkett8912 in the movie he joins the brut squad for the same reason
@@shakirrizvi7669 Book has more detail.
"BEADDET! OR I'LL CALL THE BRUTE SQUAD!"
"Ahm on da bwute squad."
"You ARE the Brute Squad!"
RIP Andre
It might have helped that Andre had a talented director to give him advice but he was really good in this movie
The sad thing was that as big as the dude was, he could barely lift his own arms. He needed fake rocks for the rock throw scene. He had to eat a bazillion calories just to maintain his massive body, but he wasn't actually very strong
@@booqueefious2230 What. You're a damn fool. He was incredibly strong. At this point in his life though he had extremely bad back problems
@@booqueefious2230dont doubt Andre, check his matches on France from the 70s to be blown the fuxk away
"Think it'll work?" "It would take a miracle." LOVE IT
"just smile and wave"
I know it's from Madagascar, but it would fit.
"Dont rush me sonny. You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles."
"You got money?"
@@rhaegostheskydragon1760 65
@@danteciccarelli2790
"Phew. I never work for so little. Except once, and that was a very noble cause."
- Whenever any company tries to get a product out for some anniversary
Sure enough they rush it and Westley is QWOPing it for the entire third act.
"when the mutton is lean and the tomatoes are ripe, they're so perky i love that. But it's not what he said!" will always get me
Every single line from this movie is memorable. Only movie I know of which is completely quotable from start to finish
Clue is pretty up there too
Agreed!!! It is a Real Gem! ; )
And it doesn't have a bunch of sjw bs slapping you in the face. Its just a good, family friendly movie you can watch with your kids and your grandparents
@@booqueefious2230 110% Agree there. Even TV Commercials are dripping with 'messages' these days.
Big Trouble in Little China
"He's dead, he can't talk"
"Ooh hoo hoo, look who knows so much, eh?"
"Well it just so happens that your friend here is only mostly dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Please open his mouth."
"Now, mostly dead is slightly alive. All dead, well, there's only one thing you can do with all dead."
@@cameronfield7313
Inigo: ‘What’s that?’
Max: ‘Go through his clothes and look for loose change.’
@@andrewtrotter9023 Hey ! Hello there ! Hey, what's so important ? What'd you got here that's worth living for ?
@@juliancage "Truuee Loove"
3:40
Humiliating your former employer: The *noblest* of noble causes!
+Anony Mous Got that right. Give me just half a chance . . .
This Princess Bride is nothing but one-liners and they somehow made an entire movie out of it
LOVE IT.
I was 16 when I first sat down to watch it and yet I wasn’t old enough to get them all
"Beat it or I'll call the brute squad."
"I'm on the brute squad. "
"You are the brute squad."
That is small people and me.
you would be small around André René Roussimoff (Fezzik) as well. 7 foot 4.
@@ivanjursdotter may that gentle giant of a man rest in peace the only thing bigger than him was his heart
@ivan jursdotter man you know the crazy thing is he could barely lift anything. Like those rocks were fake rocks, when he was a wrestler they had to have fake props for him to use because he could barely lift his own arms.
@@booqueefious2230 I think that was only when we got older and started having tons of back issues. Before that he was a hulk rivaling that of Wilt chamberlain. It’s crazy to see how strong these behemoths are
@@booqueefious2230
That was more a limitation of his back pain, rather than strength.
Dude's arms were stronger than most people's entire bodies.
“I might kill whoever you want me to miracle!”
“He’s already dead.”
“He is, huh? I’ll take a look. Bring him in.”
I love Billy Crystal's eye movements during that line!
Max is thinking, "ha try me, sucker!"
I saw Cary Elwes at the Boston Fan Expo last year. During his panel discussion he told a story about Andre on the first day of shooting. The scene was where they're spying on the castle right after Wesley is given the miracle cure. Andre the Giant let out a 16-second fart that brought the entire production to a standstill. During the shoot, which Elwes said lasted for about a month-and-a-half, the cast and crew grew very close. "I can't remember a day without laughter.
No way
He can barely move his arms several hours after he takes the pill and....'he should wait at least an hour before going swimming'.
Hey they didn't lie. If he went swimming before the hour was up, he would have drowned and died
@@en4833 Old school r/technicallytruth
@@stephanginther9051 "a *good* hour"
I actually get the feeling the reason why it took awhile was because the pill didn't reach full potency yet. Before Inigo and Fezzik gave Wesley the pill, Fezzik goes "Has it been fifteen minutes?" Inigo responds with, "We can't wait that long." (I think. I haven't seen the movie in over 5 years)
@@cameronfield7313 Good point!
Inigo: This is loyal,sir. His wife is...crippled. His children are on the brink of starvation.
Miracle Max: Are you a rotten liar!
Inigo: I need him to help avenge my father, murdered these twenty years.
Miracle Max: Your first story was better.
That WAS funny. It just bugs me how people just put random quotes from the video they just watched, sit back, and solicite likes.
James Harriot Yeah nothing but truth there. Sorry i did not respond my internet got shut off for some reason.
Bagree Ash World he called him a rotten liar hahah
Cold Steel Sorry my internet got shut off again for a while.
Cold Steel He totally called him a rotten liar :D
I'd pay to see a movie with Miracle Max and Valerie.
I still find it funny that the mlt line was improvised.
+FailenW59 Rob Reiner, knowing that he had Billy Crystal there, let him improvise quite a bit........because that's one of the things that Billy does best.........but the only person that Billy said was better than him, was the late, great ROBIN........
"Your first story was better."
I hear that a lot these days.
😂
The summer of 1990 after I graduated high school I had the pleasure of being a group counselor at the camp I went to in Arcadia, Michigan for a week every summer where us counselors were in charge of groups of 8 junior high kids for a week. One night, they had a movie night and us counselors chose Princess Bride. I would say hardly any of the kids had seen it before but us counselors knew this beloved movie very well. We were in back trying our best NOT to say all the funny lines throughout the movie, but it was impossible. We would roar with laughter and had many of the kids laughing as well. Hopefully, most left camp that week with a newfound appreciation of this classic. I’ll never forget bonding with my fellow counselors that night though. Movies like this bring out the best in people, and I’m grateful to have seen it many times with others who appreciate it as much as I do.
I get the feeling there was no script for Billy Crystal they just yelled action and he did his thing
I think there was a script, but also they let him change it up enough that that's basically true
@@yf-n7710 Thats probably closer to reality.
Pretty sure they gave him a rough outline of what to say, maybe just a couple lines he had to include bc it was important to the plot but I’m 99% sure that almost the whole thing was improvised and that was actually one of the criteria the actor asked for when taking the role!
@@bananaeclipse3324 If you read the book, that 99% is in there
"I might kill whoever might need the miracle." "Well he's all ready dead." 😂😂
"Humiliation galore"
I love it!
i love it
"Hahaha! *mutters happily* That is a noble cause. Give me the 65, I'm on the job."
@Rhaegos the Sky Dragon guess it wasnt so noble to do it for free lol
best elderly couple in the world of movies
This is the scene I always wait for in "The Princess Bride".
Have fun storming the castle!
you think it'll work?
It would take a miracle! A Buh bye!!!
Kellyann German
i read this and the replys right as they were saying it😂
“Look, I’m retired! And besides, why would you want someone the King’s stinking son fired? I might kill whoever you wanna make the miracle!”
Dolorous Edd: “He’s already dead.”
*looks at Jon Snow’s dead body* “He is, huh? I’ll take a look. Bring him in.”
Have fun storming the castle😊
"Why'd you say that name? You promised me you would never say thAt name!!"
"What? Humperdink??"
"No! MARTHA!!"
XD too easy
I love Billy Crystal, He's one of my top favorite actors in movies of all time, But I also find him to be very funny as Miracle Max in the Princess Bride, too! I Remember he was also the voice of Mike Wazowski in monsters Inc. too as well!
Don't forget he played the voice of the fire demon from Studio Ghibli Howl's Moving Castle
Have you ever seen When Harry Met Sally?
5 min scene and he steals the movie. Billy Crystal is a national treasure
Think it’ll work?
It would take a miracle
BYE!! 😊👋🏼
Hilariously funny 😄🤣😂
Have fun storming the castle.
A sales lesson in motion: the “hot button.”
Find that thing that the client needs/desires and PUSH IT.
Montoya realized the hatred Miracle Max had towards the prince and USED IT.
That is how you sell something.
Not to mention supply and demand. Inigo had that split-second opening, and found Miracle Max’s demand.
@@kelvincalloway5968 I don’t know if that is “supply & demand”, maybe you meant timing/moment to seize something.
Supply & demand would be prices allowed for market if there were many miracle workers who made pills all in the forest. Max & his wife seemingly had a monopoly. They had all supply & thus all demand went to them: high price. If there are many “miracle men” and few needed miracles it would be a lower demand/more supply.
Fun Fact: The Miracle Max makeup took so long to put on that Billy Crystal wore it all day. And because he didn’t really feel right having the makeup on without doing the voice, he stayed in character throughout their meal breaks.
Cool
'Shut up you witch im not a witch im your wive " classic.
"Am on da bwute squad"
You are the brute squad!
Ajila Waya what makes it better is that Andre was supposed to be the one to say he is the brute squad but he slipped and billy crystal immediately improvised by saying his line and it was kept in the movie
@@cameronharmon3843 wow great story
They outta make a movie about the brute squad.
"The king's stinking son fired me."😂
"Have fun storming the castle!"
I think of this scene atleast twice a week
Ya, I have those days with my wife too!
Have fun storming the castle 🏰!
Think It'll Work?
It will take a miracle
BUH-BYE!!!
Loved the way the wife said 'Liar" in three different tones.
"Sonny, true love really is the greatest thing in the world... that and a nice MLT, a mutton lettuce & tomato sandwich where the mutton is nice and lean, and the tomato is ripe [smacks lips] it's so perky like that." completely improvised.
Don't go swimming for at least an hour.
A good hour
Have fun stormin the castle 😄👋🏼
mandy patinkin bruised a rib from holding back laughter 😃 but I'd bet Billy had similar 🤣🤣 edited
No, it was actually Mandy Patinkin who bruised a rib.
@@MasterAnakinSkyWalker your right I just read he improvised 13th century period jokes, three days straight, 10 hours a day, never the same thing, never the same line twice. I can't imagine how that must of been for the whole crew lmao like a 10 hour comedy show 🤣🤣
“Bye boys, bye. Have fun stormin the castle!”
I used to use that line during CPR, when all dead there's only one thing you can do. Go through his clothes and look for loose change.
Andre the giant say"I'm on the brute squad."😂😂
Have fun storming the castle....lol
“Are you a rotten liar.” 😂
“I bet he owes ya money, huh? Let’s ask him”
“But he’s already dead”
“Wooooo look who thinks they know so much”
Lmaooooo
“Have fun storming the castle!”
“You think it’ll work?”
“It would take a miracle.”
I could go for a nice mlt now thanks to him mentioning it
"thank you so much for bringing up such a painful subject"
"Beat it or I'll call the Brute Squad" "I'm on the Brute Squad"
You ARE the Brute Squad"
This is one of my favorite scenes in the movie.
Billy Crystal is a genius.
I’ve been meaning to find this scene since the Kennedy Center Honors tribute to Billy! Can’t believe he and Rob Reiner did The Princess Bride & When Harry Met Sally together! Both equally wonderful 80’s romcoms
0:19
"We're CLOSED, goddammit you... BASTARD!"
2:43 MLT, hahah! Very kosher, I love it!
Better with bacon though!
Miracle Max: "I've seen worse"
My hangover days
*Picks up Wesley's arm and let's it drop.*
"... I've seen worse."
Andre and Crystal were the best in this flick. do NOT get me wrong, i loved Wright's and Elwes' Performances along with Patkin and Guest but to me these two stood out more in this flick. For pure humor and relatable kindness, I love Andre but pure sarcastic humor? I loved Billy the most, he was just funny when he first appeared. Never get tired of his 1st rant at Inigo and Fezzik.
I love this movie, especially this scene! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I'm the brute squad!!
I'm the Juggernaut, B!*¢#!
This is filled with pure gold lines.
Go through his clothes and look for loose change.
One of the best cameos in movie history!
(Inigo knocks on the door.)
Miracle Max: Go away.
(Inigo continues knocking. A face appears through a small door on the main door.)
Miracle Max: What, what?
Inigo Montoya: Are you the Miracle Max who worked for the King all those years?
Miracle Max: The King’s stinking son fired me. And thank you so much for bringing up such a painful subject. While you’re at it, why don’t you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it? We’re closed. (He closes the door. They knock again.) Beat it, or I’ll call the Brute Squad!
Fezzik: I’m on the Brute Squad.
Miracle Max: (Looks up at the giant of a man) You ARE the Brute Squad.
Inigo Montoya: We need a miracle. It’s very important.
Miracle Max: Look, I’m retired. Besides, why would you want someone the King’s stinking son fired? I might kill whoever you wanted me to miracle.
Inigo Montoya: He’s already dead.
Miracle Max: He is, huh? I’ll take a look. Bring him in. (They enter and place Westley on the table. Max examines him.)
Miracle Max: I’ve seen worse.
Inigo Montoya: Sir? Sir?
Miracle Max: Huh?
Inigo Montoya: We’re in a terrible rush.
Miracle Max: Don’t rush me, sonny. You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles. You got money?
Inigo Montoya: Sixty-five.
Miracle Max: Sheesh! I never worked for so little. Except once, and that was a very noble cause.
Inigo Montoya: This is noble, sir. His wife is… crippled. The children are on the brink of starvation.
Miracle Max: Are you a rotten liar!
Inigo Montoya: I need him to help avenge my father, murdered these twenty years.
Miracle Max: Your first story was better. Where’s that bellows cram? He probably owes you money, huh? Well, I’ll ask him.
Inigo Montoya: He’s dead. He can’t talk.
Miracle Max: Hoo hoo, look who knows so much, heh? Well, it just so happens that your friend here is only mostly dead. There’s a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Please, open his mouth. (Starts pumping the bellows into Westley’s mouth) Now, mostly dead is slightly alive. Now, all dead… well, with all dead, there’s usually only one thing that you can do.
Inigo Montoya: What’s that?
Miracle Max: Go through his clothes and look for loose change. (Stops the bellows and shouts in Westley’s ear) Hey! Hello in there! Hey! What’s so important? What you got here that’s worth living for?
Westley: True…love…
Inigo Montoya: True love! You heard him? You could not ask for a more noble cause than that.
Miracle Max: Sonny, true Love is the greatest thing in the world, except for a nice MLT - mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, when the mutton is nice and lean, and the tomato is ripe. They’re so perky. I love that. But that’s not what he said - he distinctly said “To blave,” and as we all know, “to blave” means to bluff, heh? So you were probably playing cards, and he cheated-
(Valerie, Miracle Max‘s wife appears and starts marching torwads Max.)
Valerie: Liar! Liar! Liar!
Miracle Max: Get back, witch!
Valerie: I’m not a witch, I’m your wife, but after what you just said, I’m not even sure I want to be that anymore.
Miracle Max: You never had it so good.
Valerie: True love. He said true love, Max. My God.
Miracle Max: Don’t say another word, Valerie.
Valerie: He’s afraid. Ever since Prince Humperdinck fired him, his confidence is shattered.
Miracle Max: Why’d you say that name? You promised me that you would never say that name!
Valerie: What… Humperdinck?
Miracle Max: Haah!
Valerie: Humperdinck! Humperdinck! Humperdinck! Humperdinck! Humperdinck! Humperdinck!
Miracle Max: I’m not listening.
Valerie: True love lies expiring, and you don’t have the decency to say why you won’t help.
Miracle Max: Nobody’s hearing nothing!
Valerie: Humperdinck! Humperdinck!
Inigo Montoya: This is Buttercup’s true love. If you heal him, he will stop Humperdinck’s wedding.
Miracle Max: (To Valerie) Shut up! (Turns toward Inigo) Wait, wait. I make him better, Humperdinck suffers?
Inigo Montoya: Humiliations galore.
Miracle Max: Ha ha ha! That is a noble cause! Gimme the sixty-five. I’m on the job.
Valerie: Woo-woo!
(Time passes. Valerie covers a huge pill with chocolate.)
Inigo Montoya: That’s a miracle pill?
Valerie: The chocolate coating makes it go down easier, but you have to wait fifteen minutes for full potency, and he shouldn’t go in swimming after for at least- what?
Miracle Max: An hour-
Valerie: Yeah, an hour-
Miracle Max: A good hour. Here.
Inigo Montoya: (Leaves the hut) Thank you for everything.
Miracle Max: Okay.
Valerie: Bye-bye, boys!
Miracle Max: Have fun storming the castle.
Valerie: Think it’ll work?
Miracle Max: It would take a miracle. (To the leaving Inigo and Fezzik) Bye-bye!
Valerie: Bye.
This is the best scene in the movie
TOOO BLLAAVVVE
Best characters in entire movie miracle max and Valerie
Carol Kane makes this scene go to 11
This movie is quoted the most by my Family & I
Best movie ever
5 people took the miracle pill, but didn't wait an hour...a good hour... before going swimming
I realize now who Miracle Max reminds of, both physically and in his mannerisms:
Mel Brooks' "2,000 year old man" character! If you've ever seen the animated version of that sketch, I think maybe you can see where Billy Crystal might have gotten some inspiration for the character! 😁
I fu*king love this movie..
Love how Billy Crystal channelled Groucho Marx! 😂 The whole cast was awesome!
Love this movie so much XD
So sad that there was no sequel.... now its to late....
The J-Man doesn’t need one
Sandslashr You wouldn't have liked to see if Inigo became DPR or what became of Westley & Buttercup?
Good sequels are tough to find these days
where the mutton is nice n leannnnn lol
Like the garbagool?
I love this movie 😂 lol
"Have fun storming the castle."
Every day we dropped off our kids at school we told them to "have fun storming the castle". I’m sure they got tired of it.
Imma have to watch this movie again..
You should, it's REALLY good
LOVE THIS MLT OY!!
You ARE the Brute Squad!
I just close my eyes and picture Mike Wazowski
to blave
True love is the greatest thing in the world.. except for a nice MLT, mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich where the mutton is nice and lean, and the tomato is ripe….so perky!! I love it.
Now that I’m older, the sandwich has got me thinking of When Harry Met Sally
Fun fact: Cary Elwes couldn't even film this scene without laughing so they had to use a dummy.
I would want that too
“Why did you say that name” miracle max
It will always be extra funny to me that he went out of his way to make it harder on himself by saying "to blave" instead of to bluff in the first place.
I have to act this in class
Nothing is better then a nice MLT sandwich (Mutton Lettuce and Tomato).
3:05 I’m not a witch, I’m your wife!
She never had it so good.