Ken I appreciate your content so much h!!! You’re the only content creator that talks about avoidant discard and I need thisssss to not feel alone. Thank you!
Ken - you are a breath of fresh air, a voice of clarity in the dark. You have helped me so much in healing from a heartbreaking relationship - thank you ❤ from the Republic of Ireland 🇮🇪
My ex did this to me, but worse. We were together for a year. Travelled in 3 countries together, flew to his native country for New Year, stayed with his parents, had dinners with the families of his siblings. Met each other's friends. We did more during that 1 year than most people do in 10. He also started to withdraw sexually at some point, and claimed it's just age (he was 40), stopped initiating. I thought it was because of work stress because he had a lot going on in that area of his life. He was also very prone to stress in general. But we still talked every single day, said "I love you" etc. He'd finish every phone call with "goodnight, my love". He was always very good to me, kept his word, was generous, had a great sense of humour, etc. Then one day he suddenly blew up at me over text about something trivial. I didn't know what to make of it, never saw that behaviour before. He didn't call me that night (first time ever), and the next day discarded me during a short phone call. I was shellshocked. He NEVER mentioned any issues before. Sounded like a completely different person, cold and distant. I can't even describe how shocked I was. Wtf happened to my person? He gave some bullshit reasons that just didn't make sense. It's been over 3 months and I'm still in shock. How can you just discard your closest person like that, without even showing your face, and be OK with going from daily interaction for a whole year to complete no contact, in a split second? I felt worse than garbage, because even garbage people take out in person. He'd told me about his history of dumpster fire relationships, but his view of events was that he was always treated badly by his exes, at least in the end. He was always the victim of some highly toxic and even abusive behaviour. I believed everything and thought he was just very unlucky before. I'm now seriously wondering if I've also become part of that story that he's now telling to somebody else and looking for sympathy...
@@trupinys1979 The major banner is his revelation of dumpster fire relationships. He sabotages and blows up the relationships. Never doubt patterns. AKA the track record. You're lucky to be safe from him. ♥️ His karma is losing you. He can tell his "woe is me story " as a pick up line."
So sorry to this person. When addiction is heavy in their past and present it makes their avoidance so much more difficult to deal with, and I'm so sorry about the health issues shared. When someone is ill, the love and caring creates such a strong bond, and makes the discard so much worse.
Some of the best content on all of social media! I absolutely love and look forward to listening to everything you share. Thank you Ken for giving all of us exactly what we need.
Definitely do it. I wrote a letter to my avoidant. Never going to send it to him. I was brutally honest about how he made me feel and put emphasis on the choices HE made, then tried to shift the blame onto me.
@@jdprettynails Its a great purge to get all of the venom out by epressing exactly how you feel. Remember why the relationship ended. Relationshp autopsy. They know exactly what they've done. Lather, rinse, repeat.
@@SherriFlemming I was raised by a narcissistic mother so I grew up making all kinds of excuses to justify her awful behaviour. “No she does love me, she’s just forgetful…” “She has three other kids to take care of” “She doesn’t mean to be mean, she’s just being honest” So of course I do this in romantic relationships too! I’m so conditioned to only see the good. My friends: he hurt you so bad, how can you still love him? Me: because he’s so sweet when he wants to be and I’m so happy when he’s around Friends: what about when he ghosts you? Me: yeah that hurts…. Friends: gaslights you? Me: yeah…
Ken I appreciate your content so much h!!! You’re the only content creator that talks about avoidant discard and I need thisssss to not feel alone. Thank you!
This channel is excellent for personal development. Ken is a voice of sanity and wisdom! ♥️
Ken - you are a breath of fresh air, a voice of clarity in the dark. You have helped me so much in healing from a heartbreaking relationship - thank you ❤ from the Republic of Ireland 🇮🇪
My ex did this to me, but worse. We were together for a year. Travelled in 3 countries together, flew to his native country for New Year, stayed with his parents, had dinners with the families of his siblings. Met each other's friends. We did more during that 1 year than most people do in 10. He also started to withdraw sexually at some point, and claimed it's just age (he was 40), stopped initiating. I thought it was because of work stress because he had a lot going on in that area of his life. He was also very prone to stress in general. But we still talked every single day, said "I love you" etc. He'd finish every phone call with "goodnight, my love". He was always very good to me, kept his word, was generous, had a great sense of humour, etc.
Then one day he suddenly blew up at me over text about something trivial. I didn't know what to make of it, never saw that behaviour before. He didn't call me that night (first time ever), and the next day discarded me during a short phone call. I was shellshocked. He NEVER mentioned any issues before. Sounded like a completely different person, cold and distant. I can't even describe how shocked I was. Wtf happened to my person? He gave some bullshit reasons that just didn't make sense.
It's been over 3 months and I'm still in shock. How can you just discard your closest person like that, without even showing your face, and be OK with going from daily interaction for a whole year to complete no contact, in a split second? I felt worse than garbage, because even garbage people take out in person.
He'd told me about his history of dumpster fire relationships, but his view of events was that he was always treated badly by his exes, at least in the end. He was always the victim of some highly toxic and even abusive behaviour. I believed everything and thought he was just very unlucky before. I'm now seriously wondering if I've also become part of that story that he's now telling to somebody else and looking for sympathy...
@@trupinys1979 my ex withdrew sexually, also claiming age…..we were 20.
@@trupinys1979
The major banner is his revelation of dumpster fire relationships. He sabotages and blows up the relationships. Never doubt patterns. AKA the track record.
You're lucky to be safe from him. ♥️ His karma is losing you.
He can tell his "woe is me story " as a pick up line."
@@trupinys1979
LDR's can be a recipe for disaster.
Sending you the light. 🙏
@@SherriFlemming Thank you. Why did you think this was a LDR?
@@trupinys1979 The mention of flying to his native country.
I think he has a definite pattern of sabotaging relationships.
Dumpster fire.
So sorry to this person. When addiction is heavy in their past and present it makes their avoidance so much more difficult to deal with, and I'm so sorry about the health issues shared. When someone is ill, the love and caring creates such a strong bond, and makes the discard so much worse.
Some of the best content on all of social media! I absolutely love and look forward to listening to everything you share. Thank you Ken for giving all of us exactly what we need.
Thank you ❤
100% you are constantly walking on eggs shells thinking if you say too much or aren’t perfect they will bolt and discard you
💯
I feel I may write a letter, if anything, for my own benefit of writing it out.
Definitely do it. I wrote a letter to my avoidant. Never going to send it to him. I was brutally honest about how he made me feel and put emphasis on the choices HE made, then tried to shift the blame onto me.
Its cathartic and theraputic to write unsent letters. Also to have a feelings journal.
@@jdprettynails Its a great purge to get all of the venom out by epressing exactly how you feel. Remember why the relationship ended. Relationshp autopsy.
They know exactly what they've done. Lather, rinse, repeat.
@@SherriFlemming I was raised by a narcissistic mother so I grew up making all kinds of excuses to justify her awful behaviour.
“No she does love me, she’s just forgetful…”
“She has three other kids to take care of”
“She doesn’t mean to be mean, she’s just being honest”
So of course I do this in romantic relationships too! I’m so conditioned to only see the good.
My friends: he hurt you so bad, how can you still love him?
Me: because he’s so sweet when he wants to be and I’m so happy when he’s around
Friends: what about when he ghosts you?
Me: yeah that hurts….
Friends: gaslights you?
Me: yeah…
@@jdprettynails
I understand.
Have you read this book?
Toxic Parents by Susan Forward