4:00 1. Prioritise time with family. 2. Be intentional about friendships. 3. Cherish time with your kids. 4. Nurture health in relationships with co-workers, because you spend 8 hours a day with them. 5. Enjoy more the time that you are alone.
I just turned 25 and time with family has felt so important to me recently. Seeing my parents age and siblings get married and have kids has shown me how fleeting milestone moments are. No more letting time pass me by!
same here. I'm 26, and I moved home after being abroad for a few years for this reason. Travelling is fun, but nothing beats the feeling of family and community.
As I’m getting older, I’m starting to realise that I’ve outgrown so many friendships from my school and university days. I’m much happier not wasting my resources on friendships that aren’t worth investing in anymore and rather focusing on my current life with my current relationships and commitments like work and hobbies.
absolutely spot on. it's the outcome we don't emotionally want, but the outcome we have to reluctantly accept, when it comes to friendships/relationships.
I'm 52 years young and really enjoy my own company. I exercise outside, read and garden all by myself as I have a busy life and need alone time for self care. Love, love, love this channel and the return of teatime Tuesdays!
Love that you are busy but concerned about self care. Me, too. I am amazed to hear so much wisdom from a much younger person! Love the idea of Tea time Tuesday's!!
As someone who is in her 60's and have raised 3 children, watched 6 granddaughters grow to adulthood and have been widowed for 11 years, I felt every moment that you spoke about. I'm in the alone time now, a lot. I bury myself in work and projects to keep away the loneliness that creeps in from time to time. Time with family and friends gets even more valued when you get to this age. Thank you for an inspiring video.
Have you tried introspection/self reflection? My understanding is that we are afraid of being alone (and try to escape it with work etc.) because we are afraid of having to look within. If you do that, there is nothing to be afraid of anymore, and you will have your inner team around you anytime you want. Meditation is also helpful. These days, I am often alone but never lonely. :)
@@koellekind I have a strong Spiritual practice. I do meditate every day. I am also an Ordained Non-Denominational Minister. I am not one to feel loneliness all the time. Just moments of it. I like my own company. Wintertime is harder for me because of not being able to work. I am a landscaper by trade and winter is my down time. So a lot more introspection/self reflection takes place because I'm not working. But I also do all my home projects, painting, repairs in the winter because I'm so busy the rest of the year.
You are not lonely my dear aunt being alone is not a bad thing I m 27 years old and I lv my own company I practice self care activities and also I spend tym.wid my family too you are such a strong lady we all lv u ❤️ 💖
I didn’t expect this video to evoke such strong emotions in me, but had to hold back the tears when you spoke about feeling like you’d abandoned your family when you moved abroad. I felt that deeply 😩 the study was very interesting about how time and company does change as our life moves forward. A beautiful intentional and thought provoking video ♥️
I can truly resonate with this feeling! I also teared up, when you spoke about moving abroad. I only moved 150 kms away and also feel like I left my family behind.
Same here. I moved to the U.S. to study abroad temporarily when I was 18. Always thought I would moved back. But then graduate school, partner, career, now 2 kids. I always had that feeling of me abandoning my family. It totally made me tear up as well!
As an introvert, I enjoy spending time alone. However, I want to learn more about how to enjoy time with others. Thank you for your youtube discussion.
The fact that your mother is going on a solo backpacking trip??? That's incredible, and the biggest takeaway from this video for me. That even when older, you can travel, explore the world... you don't have to do it all when you're young. Second favorite takeaway: we often don't have to learn things, we just have to be reminded of them.
I am 76 and always been rather solitary. I came to accept that part of my personality a long time ago, in spite of outside pressure to be more social. Your point is spot on that being alone doesn't necessarily equate to lonliness, many of us already living so, I have a small group of friends and family, but as I age the group is getting smaller as my kindred spirits are passing on. If you continue to live, that is the unavoidable journey, being comfortable in your own company is key to being at peace with solitude.
31 here, and i'm a bit of an einzelgänger too. I love my family and friends, and work with people and would never trade this for anything, but i need some time with me. I love the time i have with myself even. I know the phase where people are falling away around you will be painful, but i do not Dread it as much as a lot of people around me. It is part of life and i know i will get through that too, us humans are versatile if anything. Thank you for your perspective!
I am 48 and can relate to that because I am kinda introvert too. I feel good when I am alone and I don't need many people in my life. That quote is my motto all the time. " If you need a friend, God is sufficient" Master Nursi
I found this to be soothing and informative. At almost 75 you can imagine the experiences I have under my belt. I am widowed and divorced and am at peace with it. I so value my time alone and guard it. I love my friends. I love my church family. I love my solitude. I am an artist a writer …I love quilting and cooking and praying. The seasons God provides are equal to the path He set before we were born….relax and breathe.🙏
Thanks, Sadia. The most important reminder for me here is 'learn how to be content with being alone'. Families can be broken, partners and friends can come and go, co-workers change faces, etc. At the end of the day, enjoy relationships but always remind ourselves to let them go when the time comes.
I'm 32 and I was orphaned a little over a month ago. My mom died when I was 27, my dad just 10 days before Christmas last year. Family was always important to me, but I was also always on the go throughout my twenties. I don't have any regrets about living my life and I am grateful for the time I had with them, but if I could pass one piece of advice on to my peers, it would be not to take the time you have with your parents for granted. My fiancé, who also lost his dad too early in life, and I now have to navigate getting married and establishing a family of our own with just one "grandparent", his mom, to support us and love us and our future kids, and we are so grateful to have her and we will do our best to enjoy the time we have with her fully.
Just wanted to say how much I appreciate you pushing the sponsorships until the end! I still watch them, but I look forward to your content when I click and this is a great dynamic. Love love love your videos!
That's much appreciated, Alyssa, thank you! We really rely on sponsors to be able to support the work we do, and I try to be as mindful as I can with who we work with and how we integrate the sponsorships into videos. The fact that you dedicate your time to watch our videos is not something I take lightly, and I want to be as respectful of your time as I can be. So thank you for sharing this, and for supporting the work we do - it really means a lot!
@@PickUpLimes so sweet of you to take the time to comment back! Totally understand the relationship with sponsorships, and excited that you get to partner with some really great companies. You’ve got my support through and through😊
@@PickUpLimes I KNOW it, therefore for me it's 10times more attention i pay to commercial you introduce than any toher commercial, because if you trust it i think twice if i wouldn't use it
It's hard to watch this video without getting emotional. I'm exactly at that phase in my life where I've become fully aware of how short our lives are and how quickly time goes by. There's a deep fear that I'm not spending my time as well as I should be.
Understandable to have that fear but its also important to try not to spend too much tim worrying about how you spend your time. Mistakes will always happen, don't dwell (easier said than done I know).
Loved the video! My husband and I are introverts and cherish our alone time. We each have our hobbies and projects so we are not bored or lonely. I'm home alone now and appreciate the quiet peace I'm feeling. Hope you have a beautiful day 💓
Being alone for me is my favorite, as a Buddhist practitioner it’s a time when I get to deepen into the subtle layers of Awareness. Awareness is that all encompassing presence that teaches me self love…where I’m not needing others to feel complete…it’s always growing and deepening. It’s an art to face the fears of aloneness…especially since society has many stigmas towards it. As an Artist I use creative projects and art as a way to enjoy being alone.
The idea that time with family is precious and that it is in persistent decline as we age and as our parents age has really resonated with me lately. I just got back from 3+ weeks of travel with my parents and seeing family overseas, and it reminded me of the importance of keeping up relations with extended family and making time to be with my parents as I move more into adulthood. Thanks for this thought-provoking video, Sadia! Love all your PUL content as always ❤
Spending more time alone sounds like heaven to me. I wish I had a job that didn't require to talk to anyone at all. Odd how few people acknowledge how good it feels to just be left alone.
I love being alone. I work from home, my husband is on the road everyday. I thought I would love to start a family, but I don't really want to give up the alone time ...yet (I am 28 for context)
See that’s the thing… I love having my alone time, but at the same time, I don’t. Every once and a while I go out with friends - it’s fun, but it drains me; but at the same time, I hate that it has to end bc I enjoy spending time with people. At the end of the day, I want to spend time with people, but my social skills suck… and they got worst during covid, so at college I’m trying to learn how to be social again; it’s hard. 😂
Wholesome as ever :) I just want to add that my mom gave birth to me at age 42, which means at 70 she's living with me and we're spending a lot of our free time together, so she's kind of beating the trend and transitioning into retirement while still in the company of a young daughter. Keeping each other company teaches me wisdom and respect for the elderly while it challenges her to practise flexibility and an open mind to what my generation goes through. Not a life plan I had, just the way things unrolled for us, but I would recommend it to others who find it uncomfortable to be alone at any stage of their lives. I remember how it was considered lame to live with your parents after college... Also how taboo it was to have a kid at +40... I'm so happy my mom didn't listen, and neither did I.
it's definitely so important to prioritise time with friends and family as you get older - they're things you take for granted when living at home and when at university, but after that you really have to put the effort in
the graph says to me: spend more time with friends + family, less with coworkers or choose coworkers that are friends too, try to be less alone, but when then embrace it, choose your partner wisely, because you will spent the most/ longest time with him/her. PS.your mama is so inspiring!
this is so introspective and honestly making me quite emotional, it's so healing to prioritize purposeful time with family and I think the graph just emphasizes this. Instead of letting hours pass by looking at a screen, we should really make something of the moment 💗
Before my parents passed away, I spent numerous hours with them and took care of their daily lives. I was lucky that I chose to live close with my parents. This is something people overlook when planning their lives. Having grandparents around when growing up is something my children enjoyed and not common to others. My mother used to say that more talented children would move away because they have the abilities to move for their career sake. I think we all need to pause to think about that before we move away from our families. If we are talented, we should have better abilities to stay and contribute to our hometowns.
If family is good then what your saying is correct. What if your family members are narcissistic and want to pull you down? Will you say the same thing then? There are always 2 sides. Don't simply highlight the good parts. Not everyone has great families.
I’m 28, traveling solo in a camper van to national parks, been on the road for 8 months. But now making the 2,000 mile drive home to surprise my soon-to-be 102 year old grandma for her birthday on Valentine’s Day. Family time is definitely something all this solitude on the road has made me appreciate more than ever! Thank you for making another beautiful video!!
It's comforting to know that I'm not alone in feeling homesick and somewhat guilty for leaving home. This is the perfect reminder that no matter what life you choose, your time must be directed towards the relationships you cherish the most, including the one with yourself! ❤️
It always amazes me how a RUclips channel that's mainly focused on cooking can make me cry :D as a person who would like to emigrate and who regularly feels guilty about it, what you said at 2:06 really resonates with me makes me feel a lot better.Thank you so much ❤ I also love what you said at 7:42, so true.
These tea time tuesdays are beautiful sadia, feels like having a cup of tea with my sister and chatting about something very dear. May God Bless you, thanks for bringing joy to our lives with your heartfelt conversations ❤
Honestly i spend more and more time alone as a choice. I need it now that i’m happy with myself. I’m not forcing myself anymore in toxic relationships, my family included. To me seeing them less was a blessing. It’s sad but out of my control.
Your content is so refreshing, no trying hard to impress, clickbaiting with thumbnails or throwing as much as possible at the viewer. It felt personal and thought provoking. Cherishing every moment be it with your family, friends, coworkers or alone, I think that's a fundamental enhancer of living.
I love that you don't demonise the idea of spending time alone. I feel like too many people are afraid to be alone and for some of these people, it's a real missed opportunity for understanding more about themselves
I can see how that graph would be accurate. I will be 40 this year and that graph tracks accurately for me. I was married at 32 and widowed at 33. I've spent a lot of time alone already but I've made peace with doing things solo. I've sadly had to let go of decades long friendships and am just now trying to invest time in building new friendships- it's so hard. I do not have (and don't plan to have) children so making friends who have time for friendships is tough. Plus, people don't like death and get uncomfortable when I tell them I'm a widow. Especially now that I'm dating again. I'm still hopeful and am willing to put in the work to cultivate friendships so I know my people are out there. Most of my closest friends now are with significantly older people (older than my parents) and I'm learning a lot and I'm able to help teach them things as well. Family time has been crucial for me and thankfully I still have a wonderful relationship with my in laws!
You're incredible, Katy. What a story, thank you for taking the time to share it. I'm sorry to hear you lost your partner so soon after tying the knot, that must have been incredibly difficult, I can't even imagine. It's inspiring to hear, though, the connections you're making. And my goodness I adore talking to people my parents' age or older. Is it strange to say I prefer it to talking to people my own age? 😅 It feels less filtered, more authentic, and like you said: there's so much for learn! Anyway, thank you for sharing, Katy, and thanks for being here.
Deeply touched, Katy, and wishing that all happiness makes its way to you, by and by. Maybe some of those deepest long friendships could even come around if no force of expectations? I've watched some friends drift, but met such special people meanwhile, and by just keeping a kind, relaxed heart, things reconnect in their own ways, if healthy. (And I don't have kind&caring family members to lean on). eg People may degrade friendships with their insecurities and fears, but only after years you realize that their spouse was just giving them such a hard time at home that they were barely hanging on. Do your memories feel like eternal blessings or heartbreaking loss?🤗🌿🦋
Hi Sadia! Your videos always come when I need them. I am only 22 years old now but already moved out when I was 20. For me I mainly focus on acceptance. Accepting how my life went with all it's rough but also beautiful times. I went through several depressive times because of all the bad things that happened to me and are happening in the world everyday.. Sometimes I am forgetting to see the bright side of life. So it always helps me to see my sisters and their children and the rest of my family. That's really something that I prioritize a lot as well 😊 close friends and people that love you the way you are are so important for my well being.
This is a story I also share with my students and radio audience, but I must commend you for your compassion as you created this presentation for a vast audience. Really thoughtful!
I'm 51 and I have 3 daughters that are also fast growing as we all do. They are 24, 21 and 20. I often reflect on how the years go by so fast. Family is everything and your right it's important to check in and foster those relationships and it's equally important to have a few genuine true friends in our lives but sadly not everyone is that fortunate. Loneliness can be extremely hard and makes me sad. My mum is 80 and she and my dad also migrated from Ukraine to give us a better life back in April 1975 but my dad passed away in December that year. My mum raised me and my brother on her own whilst grieving the loss of her soulmate and learning a new language. I find now that I'm an adult myself I value and appreciate all get hardships more so than I did as a child. Time is a valuable commodity but isn't it funny how much of it we waste. You're very brave moving away from your family. I don't think I could ever do that.
I loved this video. Im blessed in my season of 30, had my first baby at 27 with my fiancé and am now a stay at home mom. I cant think of anything more rewarding than being able to wake up and soak in all of my toddlers young years. We’re choosing to homeschool next year as well. This time has given me more time to spend with my mom and grandma as well❤
Thats beautiful! Coming from a grandma, you're making the right choice. I worked a full time job for 2 years when my kids were grade school age and i couldnt do it anymore. That was 2 years i will never get back. I went back to part-time and have never regretted the lack of income. So many moms i knew then would cry over their baby growing up, etc, but i always rejoiced at the milestones instead of grieving the loss of their babihood. Enjoy it and release them ever-so-slowly and you wont be sorry. Xxx
I'm 26 now and seems like I'm on the same loop with you and your mom. Left all my loved ones and comfort zone and moved to Canada a month back. It really saddens me thinking how much less time I may be able to spend with my parents, as they are in their 60's and 70's. Going through the phase of learning to live alone and just in a blink of eye, everything changed so fast! I hope we'll evolve with less regrets and enjoy the days in this world.
I couldn't hold back the tears when you spoke of being alone. Our youngest daughter has "left the nest" to become a doctor. I am so proud of her, yet there is now a void. I am learning that there is more to life than being a mother. I have interests, goals and habits that had to be put on the back burner because being a mother was my one #1 priority as it should be. I will always cherish every moment of my now adult children lives. But have come to realize I too am just as important. Learning self-care has been really neat.
I am 56 and I agree with all of this..focusing on your loved ones, a few good friends..automatically makes it more intentional to make the time happen, I also like less talk and engage more in activities with others like a good game of rummy with my 85 year old MIL..thank you!!
I live in a different country than my parents and struggle with guilty and sad feelings that I abandoned them, especially my mom. It's tough but it helps to know I'm not the only one who feels that weight ❤
Thank you for making this video. I just turned 70. I retired when covid hit. I think that the pandemic has taught me much about cherishing time with others and cherishing my time alone. I love my alone time, which is primary now. And I am very conscious of making sure that I have quality connections and a habit of connecting with family and close friends. For me, this time of life is about having a choice to be alone or with others, tending to close family and friend relationships very consciously, and giving myself the time to have a deeper relationship with my creative self. Most of the time I experience a sweet contentment when alone. But I do find I struggle a bit with a feeling of having to let things go and to be open to changes that are out of my control. Lots of things fall away as we age into elderhood. Our bodies rebel some (we may lose some functions and parts!) , friends and acquaintances begin to pass on, children and friends make changes of location, and maybe we do as well. This takes some adjustment but is revelatory and worth exploring. So, even though there is more time alone in the later years, there is a lot happening and a lot of growth. I have made a point of cultivating close supportive friendships, building a history with my dear friends, and being the kind of parent that celebrates my children's changes and adventures. All times of life have their gifts and challenges. But, as you say, time is short. Maybe one of the gifts of being older is knowing that fact because mortality is on the horizon. There is no time to 'waste'...and all of our dear ones must be savored and treasured NOW. Once again, thanks for opening this discussion!
This was so interesting! Since University I have stayed living with my family, and as a 23-year old this has admittedly been quite late. But I am going to move out next year to study singing at conservatoire - but even before moving I have noticed I spend the most time with my boyfriend and while myself and my other friends have been working more since uni there is less time to see each other. Kind of excited to be studying again so I can have more time with friends and family. Working as a freelance musician is so rewarding, but because you go from project to project it is easy to get swept away with work and forget to take some time out between projects. Similarly, having taken up RUclips has great rewards but also means I always feel I can be "doing" something
I'm in my 20's and I have wonderful friends and co-workers but nothing beat the time when I'm alone. It's not being lonely, it's being free to be yourself without fear or judgment. It's doing whatever you want without compromising. It's going wherever whenever without having to plan with anyone. It's doing too much or too little of something completely guilt free. It's getting to know yourself and work on yourself without any interference. Let yourself become your own best friend, trust me that way you will never be lonely 🙏
As someone who also moved abroad by choice, the moment you said you felt like you abandoned your family I just started bawling because I just felt so guilty for leaving them and not being there. Being able to see them only a few times a year and seeing them age, really makes me see how precious that time is and that we should spend it more intentionally. Thank you for this beautiful video.
Now I'm just 21 but now Itself I started to feel like family is everything. I really don't know why , where most of the other people in my age category think in other ways.
I'm about to turn 33 in a few hours and this video has beautifully made me realize how fast we're growing old and that our parents need us during their old age. I totally resonate with you wrt the feeling of abandoning the family/parents to settle abroad and make a better living. I love all of your videos, but this one hits in a different way
At the age of 38, I'm taking inventory of my life and contemplating how I want to spend the rest of it. I always hear my dad use the phrase "what's left is less than what's passed" when referring to life, and while no one knows how long they've got, there is a point you reach in your life where you know you've got less time, and as finite as that time is, it becomes infinitely more valuable.. As someone who never went after their dream of going to art school and becoming a 3D artist, and instead just made conventional choices with no real love for the path I'm on, I decided it was still important to teach myself 3D art. As for my time left, I have to work the day job and maintain many relationships (parents, siblings, my own family, friends), but I still try to devote 30 hours a week to self-studying. Trying to balance your relationships, ambitions, and monotonous tasks isn't easy, but you've got to make the most of it. Adulting wasn't advertised as easy!
Lovely thought provoking video Sadia. It's so important to love yourself and your journey called life. I'm in my late 50's. Our so called nest is empty now. My husband and I are enjoying our time together. It's very important to be alone and enjoy it. We don't have any grandkids yet. So we look forward to that time when it cmz. As for now we count our blessings and enjoy the ride, help those whom we can on the way ❤😊
This is so inspiring thanks for sharing your story. I started my path to reinventing myself a year ago, I'm now living healthier, confident, stronger, making 6 figures, having leisure to enjoy family &friends. I feel happier and living my life for myself. This is to encourage someone "you can start anytime to have a reset it's worth it! I'm striving to continue growing cus it's a journey❤
@@juliet800 Change your mindset, read self-help books, expand knowledge, budget and don't spend on impulse, save, take your finances seriously, eat healthy, exercise your body, meditate; the list goes on... I hope it is useful to you.
@@lunamoon448 ¿l learnt to be frugal, minimal on spending, saving and paying myself first through Investing, made Plans, growing passive income, Read a lot of books on finance, followed my plan consistently,💯💯💯
This is the first pick up limes video I’ve ever seen and I stumbled on it by accident. I was total crying by the end. I’ve watched it twice so I don’t miss any information. I’m the mom of three and it’s easy to get caught up in the little petty day to day things and miss out on living. This video really makes me want to slow down and enjoy the little things that are happening. You have a very kind, gentle way of delivering your message that motivates me and gives me hope. Thank you so very much for making this.
Thanks for your video! I identify a lot with that feeling of having "abandoned" my parents, I have been an immigrant for 16 years, a couple of years ago my relationship ended and it made me realize many things including the value of time and how to use it well I decided to give priority to my family and now I communicate more with them and I will do everything possible to be able to travel more often and spend more quality time with them. I hope I can have my own family so I can instill in them how valuable relationships are. And regarding friends, I have many good ones and I am grateful for that, I think it is very important to keep them but also to develop and deepen our ability to form relationships at any age ❤❤
I am 33 and laser focused on building a thriving social life all throughout my life eras. I am a member of a board game club, go hiking every week, and text and talk with friends every day. I go to art galleries and events and love to meet people when I travel. I am on dating apps and consider myself a power networker. I choose to resist the weight of these macro trends and pressures and to build a life that is rich and deep on my own terms. These patterns are trends and not fate. We always have choices.
I am 68 years old. I spend time to myself in order to reduce exposure to the drama I experienced as a younger person. I realize I don't have as much time going forward as I did before. I aim for peace more than connection with many others. I have a small group of associates. I am almost never lonely.
After surviving a massive heart attack in April 2020, I had to take a real look at my life. Stress was uppermost in my life so I had to change my life quickly. Then horrible anxiety took over my life, so more needed to change. Watching all your videos has really helped in my healing process. I have now moved state in Australia from Queensland back to NSW, my fiancée and I are finally together after being separated by covid restrictions for over 2.5 years, I have a great job after not having worked for 19 months due to covid restrictions, my stress is under control, my anxiety is a work in progress, however I am playing my guitars every day and doing my photography. Life is improving rapidly. Thank you for all your amazing content.
Unfortunately, my family lost my youngest brother a few years ago, he was just 24. And we all became super aware of how important time with family is. Not only is life short, but we never know how long we actually have. So we have become closer and it shifted my perspective on what is actually important in life. Time with loved ones really is what matters most 💛
I experienced the exact opposite of the graph you showed. I grew up disconnected from my family, living mostly with my friends. In my young adult life, I experienced the most lonely time of my life due to poverty and not being able to find a job. I had neither family nor friends with me. From the age of 30, all my social relationships have just started to get stronger. Family, co-workers, and deep friend relationships. And as I predict, as I get older, I will meet more people like myself and have a more crowded but distinguished social life. :)
Thank you for sharing your beautiful thoughts, Sadia! To determine the value of our one and only life, we get so caught up in our individual goals and achievements that we forget to treasure the current blessing of a time we get to spend with our loved ones, who may or may not be with us in the next part of our journey. This is a soulful reminder not to forget the ones who've helped lay our foundations, cherish, and invest time in relationships that bring value to our lives.
How interesting to watch this so close to when I decided I need to figure out how to have more people in my life. I realized I'm lonely too much. I raised 4 children spread out with 11 years between the oldest and youngest. I homeschooled many years, which meant constant company. It felt like I was going to have children at home all my life - but, poof, they grew up 😉- and after around 30 years of having regular company (of at least 1 offspring) throughout the course of my day, I was alone. My husband suggested going back to work, but after a while I longed for home and just homemaking again even if it meant learning to be comfortable with myself in a quiet house. Home is where I'm happiest, but I realized last week that it is time to be more intentional in friendships. I want to find the balance between peaceful time alone (as I work around my home) and enjoying people. I haven't nailed anything down yet, but I'm thinking about it.
I just turned 70 and find this graph and subject to be true to all your points. I cherish all the happiness and memories of the past and look forward to any time I get to spend with my children, grandchildren friends and husband but I do believe we have to always be intentional about staying in contact with each other. I always want to be the kind of mom to let go and let my family live and experience new things in life but to also be able to call them and say: “ I’m lonely for you right now or I miss you “ . Also, at some point during your life you better learn to love and respect yourself because after all, you are your own best friend! Sending you love 💕
I am 65 years old. My wife is 4 years older. I am still working. We moved to an older house 12 years ago. I had more energy then to upgrade the home and still not finished. I get anxious now we are getting old and kids are grown. I have a hard time to adjust with aging and adjust being alone. Your video made me to think that there are others like me. It is inspiring.
You Sunshine :) You make my day all the time! Im now 31 years old. I always wanted to go to drama school , but i never dared to leave my familiar surroundings and the people around me. Now I'm in a phase of finding myself and I'm trying not to make any more wrong decisions, because I constantly have the feeling that time is against me and that I shouldn't make any more mistakes at my age. I was a gambling addict for 10 years of my life and lost more than money, most of the loss was life time that was lost to me. And you as a Person dear Sadia just manage to radiate positive energy and warmth. Watching your videos is like refueling new Strength. You have no idea how much good you do with your videos and content. Thanks to you and your whole team, you are really great!! ❤
At the age of 33, I suddenly became afraid of being alone in the future. I have a good relationship with my mom, have some good friends, and generally easy to meet good friends in a new place. Having no romantic relationship scared me. Apparently, I had a low self esteem. This is what I am working on right now, and I am happy that I realised this so I can be more comfortable with myself; be the best friend of myself, for my future.
Such timely thoughts, I have been thinking lately how much time we spend working on our careers, getting knowledge and other things, and only at some point of lives we begin to understand that what makes us truly happy is being with the family, parents, feel true unconditional love, sharing love. I think that as soon as we understand it we should really start trying to spend more time with family, as religiously as we did when built our careers and jobs. Calling family, talking with them as much as we can. Being close on whole another level.
Can we stop for a moment and appreciate the quality of your videos (content + form) 🤩 we rarely come across content this good and wholesome, keep going your efforts are very much seen ❤
Hi Sadia, love your channel, and all the thoughts you provoke in these tea chats. I think we cycle thru life as should be: social and playful in our younger years, romance and friendships in young adulthood, and as we grow thru our 20's, 30's etc and watch our parents age, we get a newer perspective of time as you said. Such a wonderful full journey, filled with self awareness and acceptance and appreciation for how we spend our precious time. Now at 63 yrs old more than ever, time with family is heightened, and time with myself is the best of all. I wouldn't have it any other way.
There is a saying -" You have to go away to grow" I'm blessed to have my mom, who is still a courageous student at age 42. And she always is my inspiration; her struggle, personality, hardwork everything. At the most crucial time of my life, your words remind me again -" this time will pass soon" Thank you so much sister ❣️
Living thousands of kilometres away from my parents and sibling also really showed me how limited the time is we're able to spend together. The moment I moved abroad it really hit me. So I call a lot and we try to arrange video chats with the whole family and it's always a joy to see them. Being and expat is not easy, but you're mum is right, it's a natural thing for children to leave their parents to be with a partner (or in my case a country, lol).
For me, having “me time” has served as my reward to self, especially when I started my career. This is true not only for me, but also my partner. Also, from having various social circles, I’ve appreciated only having a few, close and trustworthy friends. Pandemic reunited me and my high school girl friends.
When I came home, my mom mentioned how much she enjoyed the time we spent together and how wonderful it was. I am truly grateful for my parents and the time I get to spend with them. I will cherish every moment I get to share with them❤
I loved raising my kids more than anything. And when they left home. I prayed we did the right things and they would make the right choices. So far, they are all 3 doing well and are fine, upstanding people. I miss being able to see them regularly, but I'm also happy they're making their own life and are happy making their families. I'm very used to an empty nest and i like it. I'm married, but enjoy alone time more than ever. Not that i don't want to be married! I love my husband dearly! But i think I will do well if ever I'm alone in life. Its ok. My sister's husband of 45 yrs passed recently, and shes ok. My dad passed 9 years ago and my mom has days where shes ok, but mostly she grieves and misses him daily. She never fostered relationships outside the home and that's part of the problem. Also shes 85 and almost everybody's passed, so......I don't want to be like that. Connections are important, but we have to be ok with being alone too. Its not as bad as it sounds.
A touching story and message, Jill, thank you for taking the time to share, and my condolences for the loss of your brother-in-law (especially so young), and your dad. Thank you for the meaningful reminder 🙏
@@PickUpLimes Thank you so much....Just to clarify....my brother in law wasn't 45 yrs old. They had been married for 45 years. I didn't realize how that looked when i wrote it. So he was 67, had been fighting lung cancer for 4 years and nature took its course and he passed quietly. He smoked for most of his life and we all know he brought it on himself, but the time he had with the disease brought on quiet reflection and gave him time to get his affairs in order etc. He was one of those guys that knew how to do anything, everybody called him for advice, he was loved by all and his passing was bitter sweet. We cried, but mostly celebrated his life.....we're ok. Our lives have been enriched by having known him so how can we grieve a love like that? Same with my dad. He was awesome! I had no unfinished business with him and now i know he's in Heaven where he is waiting for the rest of us. How can i grieve for him with that knowledge? I think that's the most important part....that we love deeply and have no regrets. Take care and love deeply.
I am 53 and find I enjoy my alone time. Balance in every aspect of life is the key. Right now I am trying to get out and socialize more. It's too easy to stay home and be distracted by Netflix. Fortunately I also have three daughters who I am very close with and we support each other. Your mom sounds like an incredible woman.
I love this Video...I am currently stressed out about how fast time flies and adulthood in general. You definitely helped me ❤️btw loveeee the scenes with your family😍
I think I have been enjoying being with my own company. I love solitude. This really develops inner strength. A reminder for myself : We came to this world alone, and we will leave this world alone. Thanks for this great video!
At 65 I appreciate the time I have to myself very much. Self love is so important. I believe it makes me a better wife, mom , sister, aunt and friend. Hopefully one day a grandma too! 💚
This really hit home for me. I'v been living alone for the past 12 years. traveled for my studies and got a job abroad. Having people around me when I'm on holidays feels sooo warm :(
As an only child, I learned to feel comfortable alone very early, though I still get lonely at times. Divorced, no kids, and a social introvert, now at age 54, I'm leaping out of a comfort zone I created (corporate job, 25 yrs in this town and most friends have moved away),to slow travel for a while. It's comforting to see so many people doing the same, who I can connect with along the way. The world has changed, is far more connected and open than decades ago, making it all easier. It will still require effort to make those connections and spend time with people - new friends along the way, and those 'back home'. The time continuum is certainly interesting... at 54 I feel like I'm starting over like I was 18, and the excitement and fear are nearly the same as back then. New adventures await!
I just moved to the Netherlands about a month ago, and while it was a refreshing new start, I couldn't help but think about whether or not I made the right choice by leaving my homeland; moving away from friends and leaving my mom behind with hopes of finding a better life full of possibilities, making new connections with new people. While a clean slate holds a lot of opportunities, it is also daunting to move on from things that are familiar and had been a part of one's life for years or decades. Don't be afraid of change! The people and things that matter will stay with you for the rest of the journey and the connections and memories that you make will remain for years to come. If you are reading this contemplating whether or not to change something about your life, do it! Be brave and rest assured, it will pay off! 😌 P.s. I have recently discovered your channel, but ever since I did, I just feel so thankful for lifting us up regularly with your videos. ❤
I was so touched at the part you talked about how crazy fast your nephews and nieces are growing up... Kinda helpless and regretful cz we cant do anything about it
When I was younger I did not enjoy spending time alone with myself but now that I am reaching the wonderful age of 60 I love the time I get to spend alone. I recently had a high school student ask me if it was hard getting old and my response was, I'm the happiest I have ever been!!!
Hi Sadia, you know The only notification i love is of Pick up limes. Thankyou for making life look simple yet meaningful. I always try to put up with your advices. I don't even know if you remember me, because I watch and comment (more like appreciate) each and every video of yours because its truly very helpful❤️
The fear of leaving home and my family kept me from pursuing my own life. There is nothing worse than staying stagnant and not moving forward. Leaving just makes the bonds stronger.
In a week I will turn 69?!?! My father told me that time goes faster as we age and he was right. Spending time with those you love is so important and precious and unfortunately getting shorter for me. Live each day to the fullest. Tell your children, grandchildren and spouse how much you love them every day. ❤
Thanks for the reminder that our days are numbered. I am starting to feel like i prefer to be alone than socializing which is not me at all five years ago.
I truly appreciate your honesty and care in every Tea Time video. It almost serves as therapy :) thank you for uploading such heartfelt content, and I look forward to many more tea-time Tuesdays. Love from India ❤
My Dad would always tell me to appreciate each day and season because when I get older time will go by so fast...and it's SO true! I'm definitely going to be working on contacting and spending more time with loved ones!
It’s funny to me that when she sees that we increasingly spend time alone, she feels inspired to become comfortable with her own company. My first thought was how to aggressively avoid being alone.
I love at your depth on this conversation. As a twiced divorced person, I totally get that as we get older we spend more time alone. I love being in a relationship, however in both my marriages I experienced lack of emotional intimacy, and loneliness. I have now come to the conclusion whether in marriage or relationship as we get older we will still end up spending time alone as partners also change and interests also change. I have to make peace with that as difficult as it may be for me. I soooo love what you said about starting to love spending time with oneself - like falling inlove with oneself while cherishing our family and friends. Alone but not lonely. 🥰
Life is even shorter if one adopts a hustle mindset/habit, trying to see or meet somebody does not mean time well spent if your mind wasn't there or is in turbo mode all the time, the next minute after departure you completely obliterate them from your memory. This basically reduces people in your life to a tool for killing your own boredom or guilt from not seeing them. Hence, the lesson shouldn't be trying to spend more time with whoever it is, it should be learning to truly value people as authentic human beings.
📲 Our Pick Up Limes app is finally here (1-week free trial!): bit.ly/PUL_app 🎉
when will Android app launch
I love how your mother is solo travelling regardless of her age ❤
...and marital status. It seems the expectation is when you have a partner that you will always travel as a pair!
@@claireh5661 So true! After marriage if we wanna travel alone sometime, even our own family thinks that it's weird.
@@claireh5661 ooôôoôoôooooooôooooooo
Yeah, that's so cool.
probably nor that old !
4:00
1. Prioritise time with family.
2. Be intentional about friendships.
3. Cherish time with your kids.
4. Nurture health in relationships with co-workers, because you spend 8 hours a day with them.
5. Enjoy more the time that you are alone.
All these have got nothing to do with how short life is.
0
Are you some kind of AI?
I just turned 25 and time with family has felt so important to me recently. Seeing my parents age and siblings get married and have kids has shown me how fleeting milestone moments are. No more letting time pass me by!
Omg same!! I just turned 25 and this is exactly what I feel 😍
I'm also 25❤️
Yes me too! Savor it all! ❤
me too ❤️
same here. I'm 26, and I moved home after being abroad for a few years for this reason. Travelling is fun, but nothing beats the feeling of family and community.
As I’m getting older, I’m starting to realise that I’ve outgrown so many friendships from my school and university days. I’m much happier not wasting my resources on friendships that aren’t worth investing in anymore and rather focusing on my current life with my current relationships and commitments like work and hobbies.
absolutely spot on. it's the outcome we don't emotionally want, but the outcome we have to reluctantly accept, when it comes to friendships/relationships.
It's tough to go through this but worth it
I'm 52 years young and really enjoy my own company. I exercise outside, read and garden all by myself as I have a busy life and need alone time for self care. Love, love, love this channel and the return of teatime Tuesdays!
Love that you are busy but concerned about self care. Me, too. I am amazed to hear so much wisdom from a much younger person!
Love the idea of Tea time Tuesday's!!
😊
I need more self care
As someone who is in her 60's and have raised 3 children, watched 6 granddaughters grow to adulthood and have been widowed for 11 years, I felt every moment that you spoke about. I'm in the alone time now, a lot. I bury myself in work and projects to keep away the loneliness that creeps in from time to time. Time with family and friends gets even more valued when you get to this age. Thank you for an inspiring video.
I AM GOING THROUGH THE SAME LONELINESS. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Have you tried introspection/self reflection? My understanding is that we are afraid of being alone (and try to escape it with work etc.) because we are afraid of having to look within. If you do that, there is nothing to be afraid of anymore, and you will have your inner team around you anytime you want. Meditation is also helpful. These days, I am often alone but never lonely. :)
Would you like to become penpals ? I'm in my late 20's but it might be interesting to share our experiences
@@koellekind I have a strong Spiritual practice. I do meditate every day. I am also an Ordained Non-Denominational Minister. I am not one to feel loneliness all the time. Just moments of it. I like my own company. Wintertime is harder for me because of not being able to work. I am a landscaper by trade and winter is my down time. So a lot more introspection/self reflection takes place because I'm not working. But I also do all my home projects, painting, repairs in the winter because I'm so busy the rest of the year.
You are not lonely my dear aunt being alone is not a bad thing I m 27 years old and I lv my own company I practice self care activities and also I spend tym.wid my family too you are such a strong lady we all lv u ❤️ 💖
I didn’t expect this video to evoke such strong emotions in me, but had to hold back the tears when you spoke about feeling like you’d abandoned your family when you moved abroad. I felt that deeply 😩 the study was very interesting about how time and company does change as our life moves forward. A beautiful intentional and thought provoking video ♥️
Yes, that one hit hard :(
I can truly resonate with this feeling! I also teared up, when you spoke about moving abroad. I only moved 150 kms away and also feel like I left my family behind.
Omg this got me too! 🥺 I feel this so much now that I'm older and regret not spending more time with my parents previously.
Same here. I moved to the U.S. to study abroad temporarily when I was 18. Always thought I would moved back. But then graduate school, partner, career, now 2 kids. I always had that feeling of me abandoning my family. It totally made me tear up as well!
As an introvert, I enjoy spending time alone. However, I want to learn more about how to enjoy time with others. Thank you for your youtube discussion.
The fact that your mother is going on a solo backpacking trip??? That's incredible, and the biggest takeaway from this video for me. That even when older, you can travel, explore the world... you don't have to do it all when you're young.
Second favorite takeaway: we often don't have to learn things, we just have to be reminded of them.
Absolutely! My parents are the same age do the same and they actually have more time to spend traveling ❤
I am 76 and always been rather solitary. I came to accept that part of my personality a long time ago, in spite of outside pressure to be more social. Your point is spot on that being alone doesn't necessarily equate to lonliness, many of us already living so, I have a small group of friends and family, but as I age the group is getting smaller as my kindred spirits are passing on. If you continue to live, that is the unavoidable journey, being comfortable in your own company is key to being at peace with solitude.
❤
I love your comments. Thank you for your word of wisdom!
31 here, and i'm a bit of an einzelgänger too. I love my family and friends, and work with people and would never trade this for anything, but i need some time with me. I love the time i have with myself even.
I know the phase where people are falling away around you will be painful, but i do not Dread it as much as a lot of people around me. It is part of life and i know i will get through that too, us humans are versatile if anything.
Thank you for your perspective!
I am 48 and can relate to that because I am kinda introvert too. I feel good when I am alone and I don't need many people in my life.
That quote is my motto all the time. " If you need a friend, God is sufficient" Master Nursi
As long as you are happy and healthy then there is no need to be more social. at least you are not a burden to someone else. you are a blessing.
"We need to be reminded more often than we need to be taught" ...So true! 🌸
I found this to be soothing and informative. At almost 75 you can imagine the experiences I have under my belt. I am widowed and divorced and am at peace with it. I so value my time alone and guard it. I love my friends. I love my church family. I love my solitude. I am an artist a writer …I love quilting and cooking and praying. The seasons God provides are equal to the path He set before we were born….relax and breathe.🙏
Thanks, Sadia. The most important reminder for me here is 'learn how to be content with being alone'. Families can be broken, partners and friends can come and go, co-workers change faces, etc. At the end of the day, enjoy relationships but always remind ourselves to let them go when the time comes.
I'm 32 and I was orphaned a little over a month ago. My mom died when I was 27, my dad just 10 days before Christmas last year. Family was always important to me, but I was also always on the go throughout my twenties. I don't have any regrets about living my life and I am grateful for the time I had with them, but if I could pass one piece of advice on to my peers, it would be not to take the time you have with your parents for granted.
My fiancé, who also lost his dad too early in life, and I now have to navigate getting married and establishing a family of our own with just one "grandparent", his mom, to support us and love us and our future kids, and we are so grateful to have her and we will do our best to enjoy the time we have with her fully.
Just wanted to say how much I appreciate you pushing the sponsorships until the end! I still watch them, but I look forward to your content when I click and this is a great dynamic. Love love love your videos!
That's much appreciated, Alyssa, thank you! We really rely on sponsors to be able to support the work we do, and I try to be as mindful as I can with who we work with and how we integrate the sponsorships into videos. The fact that you dedicate your time to watch our videos is not something I take lightly, and I want to be as respectful of your time as I can be. So thank you for sharing this, and for supporting the work we do - it really means a lot!
Sadia, you are the only RUclipsr where I watch the add completely. So aesthetic and mindful picked ❤
@@PickUpLimes so sweet of you to take the time to comment back! Totally understand the relationship with sponsorships, and excited that you get to partner with some really great companies. You’ve got my support through and through😊
@@PickUpLimes I KNOW it, therefore for me it's 10times more attention i pay to commercial you introduce than any toher commercial, because if you trust it i think twice if i wouldn't use it
@@alyssaanderson6012 ❤
It's hard to watch this video without getting emotional. I'm exactly at that phase in my life where I've become fully aware of how short our lives are and how quickly time goes by. There's a deep fear that I'm not spending my time as well as I should be.
Understandable to have that fear but its also important to try not to spend too much tim worrying about how you spend your time. Mistakes will always happen, don't dwell (easier said than done I know).
Loved the video! My husband and I are introverts and cherish our alone time. We each have our hobbies and projects so we are not bored or lonely. I'm home alone now and appreciate the quiet peace I'm feeling. Hope you have a beautiful day 💓
Being alone for me is my favorite, as a Buddhist practitioner it’s a time when I get to deepen into the subtle layers of Awareness. Awareness is that all encompassing presence that teaches me self love…where I’m not needing others to feel complete…it’s always growing and deepening. It’s an art to face the fears of aloneness…especially since society has many stigmas towards it. As an Artist I use creative projects and art as a way to enjoy being alone.
The idea that time with family is precious and that it is in persistent decline as we age and as our parents age has really resonated with me lately. I just got back from 3+ weeks of travel with my parents and seeing family overseas, and it reminded me of the importance of keeping up relations with extended family and making time to be with my parents as I move more into adulthood. Thanks for this thought-provoking video, Sadia! Love all your PUL content as always ❤
So lovely you got to visit your family, Justine 🥰 and thank you so much!
I believe building a good relationship with yourself should be first as this will be the foundation of your relationship with others
Spending more time alone sounds like heaven to me. I wish I had a job that didn't require to talk to anyone at all. Odd how few people acknowledge how good it feels to just be left alone.
I feel you on this. Retired a year ago from healthcare customer services. I told my friends that I just wanted to be left alone!
I love being alone. I work from home, my husband is on the road everyday. I thought I would love to start a family, but I don't really want to give up the alone time ...yet (I am 28 for context)
You will have alone time plenty when you're old and your spouse and kids are gone.
See that’s the thing… I love having my alone time, but at the same time, I don’t. Every once and a while I go out with friends - it’s fun, but it drains me; but at the same time, I hate that it has to end bc I enjoy spending time with people. At the end of the day, I want to spend time with people, but my social skills suck… and they got worst during covid, so at college I’m trying to learn how to be social again; it’s hard. 😂
I am with you 100%. I renew well when alone. There are some people that thrive when in company of others.
Wholesome as ever :) I just want to add that my mom gave birth to me at age 42, which means at 70 she's living with me and we're spending a lot of our free time together, so she's kind of beating the trend and transitioning into retirement while still in the company of a young daughter. Keeping each other company teaches me wisdom and respect for the elderly while it challenges her to practise flexibility and an open mind to what my generation goes through. Not a life plan I had, just the way things unrolled for us, but I would recommend it to others who find it uncomfortable to be alone at any stage of their lives. I remember how it was considered lame to live with your parents after college... Also how taboo it was to have a kid at +40... I'm so happy my mom didn't listen, and neither did I.
it's definitely so important to prioritise time with friends and family as you get older - they're things you take for granted when living at home and when at university, but after that you really have to put the effort in
the graph says to me: spend more time with friends + family, less with coworkers or choose coworkers that are friends too, try to be less alone, but when then embrace it, choose your partner wisely, because you will spent the most/ longest time with him/her. PS.your mama is so inspiring!
this is so introspective and honestly making me quite emotional, it's so healing to prioritize purposeful time with family and I think the graph just emphasizes this. Instead of letting hours pass by looking at a screen, we should really make something of the moment 💗
Before my parents passed away, I spent numerous hours with them and took care of their daily lives. I was lucky that I chose to live close with my parents. This is something people overlook when planning their lives. Having grandparents around when growing up is something my children enjoyed and not common to others. My mother used to say that more talented children would move away because they have the abilities to move for their career sake. I think we all need to pause to think about that before we move away from our families. If we are talented, we should have better abilities to stay and contribute to our hometowns.
If family is good then what your saying is correct. What if your family members are narcissistic and want to pull you down? Will you say the same thing then?
There are always 2 sides. Don't simply highlight the good parts.
Not everyone has great families.
I’m 28, traveling solo in a camper van to national parks, been on the road for 8 months. But now making the 2,000 mile drive home to surprise my soon-to-be 102 year old grandma for her birthday on Valentine’s Day. Family time is definitely something all this solitude on the road has made me appreciate more than ever!
Thank you for making another beautiful video!!
That sounds like a dream, James, and happy early birthday to your grandma! 102, that's incredible! 🥳
Thanks, Sadia!
It's comforting to know that I'm not alone in feeling homesick and somewhat guilty for leaving home. This is the perfect reminder that no matter what life you choose, your time must be directed towards the relationships you cherish the most, including the one with yourself! ❤️
It always amazes me how a RUclips channel that's mainly focused on cooking can make me cry :D as a person who would like to emigrate and who regularly feels guilty about it, what you said at 2:06 really resonates with me makes me feel a lot better.Thank you so much ❤ I also love what you said at 7:42, so true.
Agree 200% that Life is short and time is running, so very important to Live and spend life with real loved one's before we Leave
These tea time tuesdays are beautiful sadia, feels like having a cup of tea with my sister and chatting about something very dear. May God Bless you, thanks for bringing joy to our lives with your heartfelt conversations ❤
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Honestly i spend more and more time alone as a choice. I need it now that i’m happy with myself. I’m not forcing myself anymore in toxic relationships, my family included.
To me seeing them less was a blessing. It’s sad but out of my control.
I relate to that. It sucks but it's reality, even when everything tells you you should be with family.
@@fallfanaticstudent i feel the same everytime when people say that spend time with family 😢i feel horrible
Your content is so refreshing, no trying hard to impress, clickbaiting with thumbnails or throwing as much as possible at the viewer. It felt personal and thought provoking.
Cherishing every moment be it with your family, friends, coworkers or alone, I think that's a fundamental enhancer of living.
Yes, its hard to be imigrant and integrate, anywhere even for East European. She came from a beautiful and pure country. Eastern can understand that
I love that you don't demonise the idea of spending time alone. I feel like too many people are afraid to be alone and for some of these people, it's a real missed opportunity for understanding more about themselves
It's the other way around actually. Hyper independence is the new normal
I can see how that graph would be accurate. I will be 40 this year and that graph tracks accurately for me. I was married at 32 and widowed at 33. I've spent a lot of time alone already but I've made peace with doing things solo. I've sadly had to let go of decades long friendships and am just now trying to invest time in building new friendships- it's so hard. I do not have (and don't plan to have) children so making friends who have time for friendships is tough. Plus, people don't like death and get uncomfortable when I tell them I'm a widow. Especially now that I'm dating again. I'm still hopeful and am willing to put in the work to cultivate friendships so I know my people are out there. Most of my closest friends now are with significantly older people (older than my parents) and I'm learning a lot and I'm able to help teach them things as well. Family time has been crucial for me and thankfully I still have a wonderful relationship with my in laws!
You're incredible, Katy. What a story, thank you for taking the time to share it. I'm sorry to hear you lost your partner so soon after tying the knot, that must have been incredibly difficult, I can't even imagine. It's inspiring to hear, though, the connections you're making. And my goodness I adore talking to people my parents' age or older. Is it strange to say I prefer it to talking to people my own age? 😅 It feels less filtered, more authentic, and like you said: there's so much for learn! Anyway, thank you for sharing, Katy, and thanks for being here.
Deeply touched, Katy, and wishing that all happiness makes its way to you, by and by. Maybe some of those deepest long friendships could even come around if no force of expectations? I've watched some friends drift, but met such special people meanwhile, and by just keeping a kind, relaxed heart, things reconnect in their own ways, if healthy. (And I don't have kind&caring family members to lean on). eg People may degrade friendships with their insecurities and fears, but only after years you realize that their spouse was just giving them such a hard time at home that they were barely hanging on. Do your memories feel like eternal blessings or heartbreaking loss?🤗🌿🦋
Hi Sadia! Your videos always come when I need them. I am only 22 years old now but already moved out when I was 20. For me I mainly focus on acceptance. Accepting how my life went with all it's rough but also beautiful times. I went through several depressive times because of all the bad things that happened to me and are happening in the world everyday.. Sometimes I am forgetting to see the bright side of life. So it always helps me to see my sisters and their children and the rest of my family. That's really something that I prioritize a lot as well 😊 close friends and people that love you the way you are are so important for my well being.
Hearing your life story is so beautiful I’m glad I chose to watch this episode thank you
Thanks so much, Lucy 🤗
This is a story I also share with my students and radio audience, but I must commend you for your compassion as you created this presentation for a vast audience. Really thoughtful!
I was shocked! But realize it is so true. I am 58 and find I spend a lot of time alone. Need to work on making the most of that time
I'm 51 and I have 3 daughters that are also fast growing as we all do. They are 24, 21 and 20. I often reflect on how the years go by so fast. Family is everything and your right it's important to check in and foster those relationships and it's equally important to have a few genuine true friends in our lives but sadly not everyone is that fortunate. Loneliness can be extremely hard and makes me sad. My mum is 80 and she and my dad also migrated from Ukraine to give us a better life back in April 1975 but my dad passed away in December that year. My mum raised me and my brother on her own whilst grieving the loss of her soulmate and learning a new language. I find now that I'm an adult myself I value and appreciate all get hardships more so than I did as a child. Time is a valuable commodity but isn't it funny how much of it we waste. You're very brave moving away from your family. I don't think I could ever do that.
I loved this video. Im blessed in my season of 30, had my first baby at 27 with my fiancé and am now a stay at home mom. I cant think of anything more rewarding than being able to wake up and soak in all of my toddlers young years. We’re choosing to homeschool next year as well. This time has given me more time to spend with my mom and grandma as well❤
Thats beautiful! Coming from a grandma, you're making the right choice. I worked a full time job for 2 years when my kids were grade school age and i couldnt do it anymore. That was 2 years i will never get back. I went back to part-time and have never regretted the lack of income. So many moms i knew then would cry over their baby growing up, etc, but i always rejoiced at the milestones instead of grieving the loss of their babihood. Enjoy it and release them ever-so-slowly and you wont be sorry. Xxx
Love this ❤ thank you for the reminder!
Akila V
عکس بزرگ نمایی شده از خودتون لطف بفرستی🕺😘🥰🦓🦧🐼💃
I'm 26 now and seems like I'm on the same loop with you and your mom. Left all my loved ones and comfort zone and moved to Canada a month back. It really saddens me thinking how much less time I may be able to spend with my parents, as they are in their 60's and 70's. Going through the phase of learning to live alone and just in a blink of eye, everything changed so fast! I hope we'll evolve with less regrets and enjoy the days in this world.
bro, ya're such a brave man and I wish you and your family good!
I couldn't hold back the tears when you spoke of being alone. Our youngest daughter has "left the nest" to become a doctor. I am so proud of her, yet there is now a void. I am learning that there is more to life than being a mother. I have interests, goals and habits that had to be put on the back burner because being a mother was my one #1 priority as it should be. I will always cherish every moment of my now adult children lives. But have come to realize I too am just as important. Learning self-care has been really neat.
I am 56 and I agree with all of this..focusing on your loved ones, a few good friends..automatically makes it more intentional to make the time happen, I also like less talk and engage more in activities with others like a good game of rummy with my 85 year old MIL..thank you!!
I live in a different country than my parents and struggle with guilty and sad feelings that I abandoned them, especially my mom. It's tough but it helps to know I'm not the only one who feels that weight ❤
Thank you for making this video. I just turned 70. I retired when covid hit. I think that the pandemic has taught me much about cherishing time with others and cherishing my time alone. I love my alone time, which is primary now. And I am very conscious of making sure that I have quality connections and a habit of connecting with family and close friends. For me, this time of life is about having a choice to be alone or with others, tending to close family and friend relationships very consciously, and giving myself the time to have a deeper relationship with my creative self. Most of the time I experience a sweet contentment when alone. But I do find I struggle a bit with a feeling of having to let things go and to be open to changes that are out of my control. Lots of things fall away as we age into elderhood. Our bodies rebel some (we may lose some functions and parts!) , friends and acquaintances begin to pass on, children and friends make changes of location, and maybe we do as well. This takes some adjustment but is revelatory and worth exploring. So, even though there is more time alone in the later years, there is a lot happening and a lot of growth. I have made a point of cultivating close supportive friendships, building a history with my dear friends, and being the kind of parent that celebrates my children's changes and adventures. All times of life have their gifts and challenges. But, as you say, time is short. Maybe one of the gifts of being older is knowing that fact because mortality is on the horizon. There is no time to 'waste'...and all of our dear ones must be savored and treasured NOW. Once again, thanks for opening this discussion!
This was so interesting! Since University I have stayed living with my family, and as a 23-year old this has admittedly been quite late. But I am going to move out next year to study singing at conservatoire - but even before moving I have noticed I spend the most time with my boyfriend and while myself and my other friends have been working more since uni there is less time to see each other. Kind of excited to be studying again so I can have more time with friends and family. Working as a freelance musician is so rewarding, but because you go from project to project it is easy to get swept away with work and forget to take some time out between projects. Similarly, having taken up RUclips has great rewards but also means I always feel I can be "doing" something
I'm in my 20's and I have wonderful friends and co-workers but nothing beat the time when I'm alone. It's not being lonely, it's being free to be yourself without fear or judgment. It's doing whatever you want without compromising. It's going wherever whenever without having to plan with anyone. It's doing too much or too little of something completely guilt free. It's getting to know yourself and work on yourself without any interference. Let yourself become your own best friend, trust me that way you will never be lonely 🙏
As someone who also moved abroad by choice, the moment you said you felt like you abandoned your family I just started bawling because I just felt so guilty for leaving them and not being there. Being able to see them only a few times a year and seeing them age, really makes me see how precious that time is and that we should spend it more intentionally. Thank you for this beautiful video.
Now I'm just 21 but now Itself I started to feel like family is everything. I really don't know why , where most of the other people in my age category think in other ways.
I'm about to turn 33 in a few hours and this video has beautifully made me realize how fast we're growing old and that our parents need us during their old age.
I totally resonate with you wrt the feeling of abandoning the family/parents to settle abroad and make a better living. I love all of your videos, but this one hits in a different way
happy late birthday!! best wishes to you
At the age of 38, I'm taking inventory of my life and contemplating how I want to spend the rest of it. I always hear my dad use the phrase "what's left is less than what's passed" when referring to life, and while no one knows how long they've got, there is a point you reach in your life where you know you've got less time, and as finite as that time is, it becomes infinitely more valuable.. As someone who never went after their dream of going to art school and becoming a 3D artist, and instead just made conventional choices with no real love for the path I'm on, I decided it was still important to teach myself 3D art.
As for my time left, I have to work the day job and maintain many relationships (parents, siblings, my own family, friends), but I still try to devote 30 hours a week to self-studying. Trying to balance your relationships, ambitions, and monotonous tasks isn't easy, but you've got to make the most of it. Adulting wasn't advertised as easy!
try to learn 3D skills from these guys, it's a game changer @isaevworkshop
Lovely thought provoking video Sadia. It's so important to love yourself and your journey called life. I'm in my late 50's. Our so called nest is empty now. My husband and I are enjoying our time together. It's very important to be alone and enjoy it. We don't have any grandkids yet. So we look forward to that time when it cmz. As for now we count our blessings and enjoy the ride, help those whom we can on the way ❤😊
This is so inspiring thanks for sharing your story. I started my path to reinventing myself a year ago, I'm now living healthier, confident, stronger, making 6 figures, having leisure to enjoy family &friends. I feel happier and living my life for myself. This is to encourage someone "you can start anytime to have a reset it's worth it! I'm striving to continue growing cus it's a journey❤
Congratulations sis! Thanks for encouraging others with your story, I will love to get tips from you too.
@@juliet800 Change your mindset, read self-help books, expand knowledge, budget and don't spend on impulse, save, take your finances seriously, eat healthy, exercise your body, meditate; the list goes on... I hope it is useful to you.
How did you grow to 6 Figure? I'm honestly trying to work on my personal finance this year.
Congratulations to you Mariana keep it going👍
@@lunamoon448 ¿l learnt to be frugal, minimal on spending, saving and paying myself first through Investing, made Plans, growing passive income, Read a lot of books on finance, followed my plan consistently,💯💯💯
This is the first pick up limes video I’ve ever seen and I stumbled on it by accident. I was total crying by the end. I’ve watched it twice so I don’t miss any information. I’m the mom of three and it’s easy to get caught up in the little petty day to day things and miss out on living. This video really makes me want to slow down and enjoy the little things that are happening. You have a very kind, gentle way of delivering your message that motivates me and gives me hope. Thank you so very much for making this.
Thanks for your video!
I identify a lot with that feeling of having "abandoned" my parents, I have been an immigrant for 16 years, a couple of years ago my relationship ended and it made me realize many things including the value of time and how to use it well I decided to give priority to my family and now I communicate more with them and I will do everything possible to be able to travel more often and spend more quality time with them. I hope I can have my own family so I can instill in them how valuable relationships are. And regarding friends, I have many good ones and I am grateful for that, I think it is very important to keep them but also to develop and deepen our ability to form relationships at any age ❤❤
I am 33 and laser focused on building a thriving social life all throughout my life eras. I am a member of a board game club, go hiking every week, and text and talk with friends every day. I go to art galleries and events and love to meet people when I travel. I am on dating apps and consider myself a power networker. I choose to resist the weight of these macro trends and pressures and to build a life that is rich and deep on my own terms. These patterns are trends and not fate. We always have choices.
I am 68 years old. I spend time to myself in order to reduce exposure to the drama I experienced as a younger person. I realize I don't have as much time going forward as I did before. I aim for peace more than connection with many others. I have a small group of associates. I am almost never lonely.
After surviving a massive heart attack in April 2020, I had to take a real look at my life. Stress was uppermost in my life so I had to change my life quickly. Then horrible anxiety took over my life, so more needed to change. Watching all your videos has really helped in my healing process. I have now moved state in Australia from Queensland back to NSW, my fiancée and I are finally together after being separated by covid restrictions for over 2.5 years, I have a great job after not having worked for 19 months due to covid restrictions, my stress is under control, my anxiety is a work in progress, however I am playing my guitars every day and doing my photography. Life is improving rapidly. Thank you for all your amazing content.
Unfortunately, my family lost my youngest brother a few years ago, he was just 24. And we all became super aware of how important time with family is. Not only is life short, but we never know how long we actually have. So we have become closer and it shifted my perspective on what is actually important in life. Time with loved ones really is what matters most 💛
So sorry for such a devastating loss. Thank you for sharing .
I love spending time alone and feel it is essential in our life to keep happy, peaceful and healthy.
I experienced the exact opposite of the graph you showed. I grew up disconnected from my family, living mostly with my friends. In my young adult life, I experienced the most lonely time of my life due to poverty and not being able to find a job. I had neither family nor friends with me. From the age of 30, all my social relationships have just started to get stronger. Family, co-workers, and deep friend relationships. And as I predict, as I get older, I will meet more people like myself and have a more crowded but distinguished social life. :)
I spend a lot of time with my dog I consider it quality time; she listens and she's always happy to see me .
Thank you for sharing your beautiful thoughts, Sadia! To determine the value of our one and only life, we get so caught up in our individual goals and achievements that we forget to treasure the current blessing of a time we get to spend with our loved ones, who may or may not be with us in the next part of our journey. This is a soulful reminder not to forget the ones who've helped lay our foundations, cherish, and invest time in relationships that bring value to our lives.
One very important aspect you left out, was getting in touch with your soul, your Creator. That connection can take you to another level
How interesting to watch this so close to when I decided I need to figure out how to have more people in my life. I realized I'm lonely too much. I raised 4 children spread out with 11 years between the oldest and youngest. I homeschooled many years, which meant constant company. It felt like I was going to have children at home all my life - but, poof, they grew up 😉- and after around 30 years of having regular company (of at least 1 offspring) throughout the course of my day, I was alone. My husband suggested going back to work, but after a while I longed for home and just homemaking again even if it meant learning to be comfortable with myself in a quiet house. Home is where I'm happiest, but I realized last week that it is time to be more intentional in friendships. I want to find the balance between peaceful time alone (as I work around my home) and enjoying people. I haven't nailed anything down yet, but I'm thinking about it.
Or perhaps even foster care / volunteering in some family spaces (eg with new mums who need help, or in a youth centre)
I just turned 70 and find this graph and subject to be true to all your points. I cherish all the happiness and memories of the past and look forward to any time I get to spend with my children, grandchildren friends and husband but I do believe we have to always be intentional about staying in contact with each other. I always want to be the kind of mom to let go and let my family live and experience new things in life but to also be able to call them and say: “ I’m lonely for you right now or I miss you “ . Also, at some point during your life you better learn to love and respect yourself because after all, you are your own best friend! Sending you love 💕
I am 65 years old. My wife is 4 years older. I am still working. We moved to an older house 12 years ago. I had more energy then to upgrade the home and still not finished. I get anxious now we are getting old and kids are grown. I have a hard time to adjust with aging and adjust being alone. Your video made me to think that there are others like me. It is inspiring.
You Sunshine :) You make my day all the time! Im now 31 years old. I always wanted to go to drama school , but i never dared to leave my familiar surroundings and the people around me. Now I'm in a phase of finding myself and I'm trying not to make any more wrong decisions, because I constantly have the feeling that time is against me and that I shouldn't make any more mistakes at my age. I was a gambling addict for 10 years of my life and lost more than money, most of the loss was life time that was lost to me. And you as a Person dear Sadia just manage to radiate positive energy and warmth. Watching your videos is like refueling new Strength. You have no idea how much good you do with your videos and content. Thanks to you and your whole team, you are really great!! ❤
At the age of 33, I suddenly became afraid of being alone in the future. I have a good relationship with my mom, have some good friends, and generally easy to meet good friends in a new place. Having no romantic relationship scared me. Apparently, I had a low self esteem. This is what I am working on right now, and I am happy that I realised this so I can be more comfortable with myself; be the best friend of myself, for my future.
Such timely thoughts, I have been thinking lately how much time we spend working on our careers, getting knowledge and other things, and only at some point of lives we begin to understand that what makes us truly happy is being with the family, parents, feel true unconditional love, sharing love. I think that as soon as we understand it we should really start trying to spend more time with family, as religiously as we did when built our careers and jobs. Calling family, talking with them as much as we can. Being close on whole another level.
Can we stop for a moment and appreciate the quality of your videos (content + form) 🤩 we rarely come across content this good and wholesome, keep going your efforts are very much seen ❤
Hi Sadia, love your channel, and all the thoughts you provoke in these tea chats. I think we cycle thru life as should be: social and playful in our younger years, romance and friendships in young adulthood, and as we grow thru our 20's, 30's etc and watch our parents age, we get a newer perspective of time as you said. Such a wonderful full journey, filled with self awareness and acceptance and appreciation for how we spend our precious time. Now at 63 yrs old more than ever, time with family is heightened, and time with myself is the best of all. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Now that’s what I call perfect timing!
There is a saying -" You have to go away to grow"
I'm blessed to have my mom, who is still a courageous student at age 42.
And she always is my inspiration; her struggle, personality, hardwork everything.
At the most crucial time of my life, your words remind me again -" this time will pass soon"
Thank you so much sister ❣️
Living thousands of kilometres away from my parents and sibling also really showed me how limited the time is we're able to spend together. The moment I moved abroad it really hit me. So I call a lot and we try to arrange video chats with the whole family and it's always a joy to see them. Being and expat is not easy, but you're mum is right, it's a natural thing for children to leave their parents to be with a partner (or in my case a country, lol).
For me, having “me time” has served as my reward to self, especially when I started my career. This is true not only for me, but also my partner. Also, from having various social circles, I’ve appreciated only having a few, close and trustworthy friends. Pandemic reunited me and my high school girl friends.
Your video always put a big smile on my face! it’s beautiful, well structured, and full of life and joy! Thank you!
When I came home, my mom mentioned how much she enjoyed the time we spent together and how wonderful it was. I am truly grateful for my parents and the time I get to spend with them. I will cherish every moment I get to share with them❤
I loved raising my kids more than anything. And when they left home. I prayed we did the right things and they would make the right choices. So far, they are all 3 doing well and are fine, upstanding people. I miss being able to see them regularly, but I'm also happy they're making their own life and are happy making their families. I'm very used to an empty nest and i like it. I'm married, but enjoy alone time more than ever. Not that i don't want to be married! I love my husband dearly! But i think I will do well if ever I'm alone in life. Its ok. My sister's husband of 45 yrs passed recently, and shes ok. My dad passed 9 years ago and my mom has days where shes ok, but mostly she grieves and misses him daily. She never fostered relationships outside the home and that's part of the problem. Also shes 85 and almost everybody's passed, so......I don't want to be like that. Connections are important, but we have to be ok with being alone too. Its not as bad as it sounds.
A touching story and message, Jill, thank you for taking the time to share, and my condolences for the loss of your brother-in-law (especially so young), and your dad. Thank you for the meaningful reminder 🙏
@@PickUpLimes Thank you so much....Just to clarify....my brother in law wasn't 45 yrs old. They had been married for 45 years. I didn't realize how that looked when i wrote it. So he was 67, had been fighting lung cancer for 4 years and nature took its course and he passed quietly. He smoked for most of his life and we all know he brought it on himself, but the time he had with the disease brought on quiet reflection and gave him time to get his affairs in order etc. He was one of those guys that knew how to do anything, everybody called him for advice, he was loved by all and his passing was bitter sweet. We cried, but mostly celebrated his life.....we're ok. Our lives have been enriched by having known him so how can we grieve a love like that? Same with my dad. He was awesome! I had no unfinished business with him and now i know he's in Heaven where he is waiting for the rest of us. How can i grieve for him with that knowledge? I think that's the most important part....that we love deeply and have no regrets. Take care and love deeply.
I am 53 and find I enjoy my alone time. Balance in every aspect of life is the key. Right now I am trying to get out and socialize more. It's too easy to stay home and be distracted by Netflix. Fortunately I also have three daughters who I am very close with and we support each other. Your mom sounds like an incredible woman.
I love this Video...I am currently stressed out about how fast time flies and adulthood in general. You definitely helped me ❤️btw loveeee the scenes with your family😍
I think I have been enjoying being with my own company. I love solitude. This really develops inner strength. A reminder for myself : We came to this world alone, and we will leave this world alone.
Thanks for this great video!
At 65 I appreciate the time I have to myself very much. Self love is so important. I believe it makes me a better wife, mom , sister, aunt and friend. Hopefully one day a grandma too! 💚
This really hit home for me. I'v been living alone for the past 12 years. traveled for my studies and got a job abroad.
Having people around me when I'm on holidays feels sooo warm :(
Beautiful ❤️
Such a meaningful thought, and thank you for making this video.
As an only child, I learned to feel comfortable alone very early, though I still get lonely at times. Divorced, no kids, and a social introvert, now at age 54, I'm leaping out of a comfort zone I created (corporate job, 25 yrs in this town and most friends have moved away),to slow travel for a while. It's comforting to see so many people doing the same, who I can connect with along the way. The world has changed, is far more connected and open than decades ago, making it all easier. It will still require effort to make those connections and spend time with people - new friends along the way, and those 'back home'. The time continuum is certainly interesting... at 54 I feel like I'm starting over like I was 18, and the excitement and fear are nearly the same as back then. New adventures await!
I just moved to the Netherlands about a month ago, and while it was a refreshing new start, I couldn't help but think about whether or not I made the right choice by leaving my homeland; moving away from friends and leaving my mom behind with hopes of finding a better life full of possibilities, making new connections with new people. While a clean slate holds a lot of opportunities, it is also daunting to move on from things that are familiar and had been a part of one's life for years or decades. Don't be afraid of change! The people and things that matter will stay with you for the rest of the journey and the connections and memories that you make will remain for years to come. If you are reading this contemplating whether or not to change something about your life, do it! Be brave and rest assured, it will pay off! 😌
P.s. I have recently discovered your channel, but ever since I did, I just feel so thankful for lifting us up regularly with your videos. ❤
Y u duch peepil speek such f#$@ gud inglish aN'&(⚡💥) yur nederlandtzen oouewrech zdatgin sdeyz exsilint tooo o. O👽🎃
I was so touched at the part you talked about how crazy fast your nephews and nieces are growing up... Kinda helpless and regretful cz we cant do anything about it
So this video was just an ad that consumed my time. The irony.
When I was younger I did not enjoy spending time alone with myself but now that I am reaching the wonderful age of 60 I love the time I get to spend alone. I recently had a high school student ask me if it was hard getting old and my response was, I'm the happiest I have ever been!!!
Hi Sadia, you know The only notification i love is of Pick up limes. Thankyou for making life look simple yet meaningful. I always try to put up with your advices. I don't even know if you remember me, because I watch and comment (more like appreciate) each and every video of yours because its truly very helpful❤️
Hey Janvi! Of course I do, thanks so much for always sharing your love and comments, it's always a joy to read 🤗
The fear of leaving home and my family kept me from pursuing my own life. There is nothing worse than staying stagnant and not moving forward. Leaving just makes the bonds stronger.
In a week I will turn 69?!?! My father told me that time goes faster as we age and he was right. Spending time with those you love is so important and precious and unfortunately getting shorter for me. Live each day to the fullest. Tell your children, grandchildren and spouse how much you love them every day. ❤
Nice. Use it as best as you can
69 😳
Thanks for the reminder that our days are numbered. I am starting to feel like i prefer to be alone than socializing which is not me at all five years ago.
I truly appreciate your honesty and care in every Tea Time video. It almost serves as therapy :) thank you for uploading such heartfelt content, and I look forward to many more tea-time Tuesdays. Love from India ❤
My Dad would always tell me to appreciate each day and season because when I get older time will go by so fast...and it's SO true! I'm definitely going to be working on contacting and spending more time with loved ones!
It’s funny to me that when she sees that we increasingly spend time alone, she feels inspired to become comfortable with her own company. My first thought was how to aggressively avoid being alone.
I love at your depth on this conversation. As a twiced divorced person, I totally get that as we get older we spend more time alone. I love being in a relationship, however in both my marriages I experienced lack of emotional intimacy, and loneliness. I have now come to the conclusion whether in marriage or relationship as we get older we will still end up spending time alone as partners also change and interests also change. I have to make peace with that as difficult as it may be for me. I soooo love what you said about starting to love spending time with oneself - like falling inlove with oneself while cherishing our family and friends. Alone but not lonely. 🥰
Life is even shorter if one adopts a hustle mindset/habit, trying to see or meet somebody does not mean time well spent if your mind wasn't there or is in turbo mode all the time, the next minute after departure you completely obliterate them from your memory. This basically reduces people in your life to a tool for killing your own boredom or guilt from not seeing them. Hence, the lesson shouldn't be trying to spend more time with whoever it is, it should be learning to truly value people as authentic human beings.
That's a beautiful take away, Marmotian, thank you for taking the time to share!