OKay Gee if you don’t want free will, free choice and not make life Decisions for yourself, that is fine but the rest of us don’t want are life ran like a dictatorship
I would agree with this IF, parents spent time with their children and got to know them. A lot of parents do not know their own kids like that to know who a good mate would be for them.
@Nonya Biz my father is shallow too unfortunately. Both my parents are rather surface oriented. I'm kind of the odd one out in my family. I love them but our values don't click. They overlook MAJOR red flags over surface things like money, looks, popularity. I was always a bit of a nerd.
@Nonya Biz If most men are raised that way (and you view that as a negative) your argument doesnt hold water. If most men are lacking in intellect because their mothers raised them, why in the world would any woman give them the go ahead to make any decision on her choice of partners? That dont make sense. Most men per your example here are not equipped to do it.
A lot of arranged marriage nations have such a low divorce % because the woman could get killed for leaving her husband. They can also catch a beat down up for turning down an arranged marriage proposal.
Yeah some of those women aren’t even allowed to work. So if they divorced they couldn’t care for themselves or their children. You can’t compare the percentages like she did when we have completely different lifestyles from them
SpiffyPenguin every time I’m watching I’m like damn why they not sitting back then I’m like you gotta sit on the edge cuz it’s gonna be impossible to get up
They’re missing a point. Not everyone has a “family”. So who’s arranging marriages for orphans and foster kids who aged out of the system or have no living relatives/guardians?
That was dark but also good point, either way B's argument was crumbling cuz her first thing was about FAMILY and it being a strong unit, arrange marriages don't always got that and especially in the West cuz we have less stakes
Short answer: no they shouldn't. Societies that have arranged marriages also have deeply oppressive laws against women to justify arranged marriages in the first place. Divorce rates are low because women will always bear the brunt of it's end either financially, familiarly (some will be disowned) or worse. Some will be killed for attempting to leave. A high divorce rate in a country is indicative of the levels of freedom women hold in that country. It's not a bad thing.
The reason divorce rates are "high" (which is subjective) here in the USA is because women FINALLY got a say in it. For decades women and men were in loveless marriages without the option to leave. Once divorces became easier to do through the court system. The stigma associated with divorce lessened and society advanced.
@@lesterbeaty3035 My parents divorced when I was 4. It was the BEST decision either one ever made. My parents were not compatible and I fully believe we were all headed for a disastrous future had they stayed together. I'm sorry if your experience is different. But I will never be an advocate for two people staying together just cause they have kids. It never works. If you've worked on your marriage and it's still just not working, leave. There is nothing worse than living in misery when you dont have to.
@@fofotheclown1051 Lolz. I'm so surprised folks let that reasoning just rock when she said it. Uh no. Countries that have a 7% divorce rate most definitely have tactics that prevent women from leaving, even if they wanted to. One of the best things that came out of the feminism wave in the US was choice and access. Our rates are high because American women have the freedom of choice.
@Clive Nyathi you can't compare marriage to a job for one a job has already established structure where as a marriage doesn't you have to lay down the foundation to make it work
Earlona Weary that CAN be true. Unfortunately I’ve found most people haven’t done enough self reflection to give you unbiased opinions that are truly in your best interest. A lot of things are said and done to “protect” or because we “know” better. Almost all of the time is to make ourselves feel better. That’s only my opinion though.
@@leroyensley5211 I feel you on that. Usually, I just ask certain questions that'll just get a person talking about their life experiences, and I analyze for myself the advice they give and learn from any mistakes they've made. You might be surprised the bits of self reflection you can get from someone once they really start talking.
What she is talking about isn't forcing anyone to do shit but pressuring people to make huge life decisions based on someone else's judgement is also not a good idea
Screw that these ppl in my family don’t have a clue what to do with their own marriages I’d be stupid to let them set me up with someone even if I had a say in it.
I come from a country that does arranged marriages: what she’s describing isn’t arranged marriage, it’s match making. What she wants is a re-evaluation of values in how we search for a mate because of the reality that marriages currently don’t last and families are broken as a result, which is having lasting effects particularly on children (their psychology, and their value structure, their sense of security, etc) I think for that to happen, we as the collective have to re-evaluate the importance of the nuclear family for ourselves and decide what we are willing to sacrifice for that. If we put the nuclear family at the forefront, it means that we have to put our happiness and in some cases our well being in the backseat (which to clarify doesn’t mean stay in an abusive relationship). The reality though is not many people are willing to make that sacrifice 🤷🏽♀️ Edit: marriages were created to pool together resources for the betterment of FUTURE generations, aka children. This is also the evolutionary basis of marriage
I totally agree with Elle. People are basing marriages on feelings alone, but the question is do you have the COMMITMENT to stay married when feelings change. I think people who get into arranged marriages understand the level of commitment required & I think that was ThatChickAngel’s underlying point.
@@idontwantahandle22 Of course they understand the commitment required tho. Many of them cant leave their marriages once they've entered it. Not because they love their spouses. But because they could suffer consequences if they ever tried to leave.
There actually are consenual arranged marriages, its different in different countries. In mat-making, there is 1 person, not a relative, that pairs people. In arrangements, families are involved.
I’m not sacrificing my well being to get in a marriage. I’m not sure if I’m gonna sacrifice my happiness either but I agree with everything else though.
First off, in history Arranged marriage was and is used foremost to further social position, so parents weren’t looking for your dream spouse, they were lookin for someone who would contribute to the family’s social status, or just to marry off their daughters so they wouldn’t have to feed them anymore. Second, divorce rate is low in counties that practice arranged marriage because divorce is taboo, not because everyone is magically finding their dream spouse. Lastly, Arranged marriage has historically been used to sexually exploit young minority women by older men. The divorce rate is high in America because women now have the freedom to choose to leave a spouse they are unhappy with. Realistically a “consensual” arranged marriage wouldn’t happen, if your parents are pressuring you to marry someone and you feel a familial obligation to accept, that’s not really consensual. There’s too many potential avenues to exploit the concept of arranged marriage.
This isn't the whole argument though. There are plenty of people in thriving arranged marriages, and you can't deny that having counsel before making a serious decision like getting married to someone is incredibly beneficial. They're also right more often than not.
Estie P where are you getting these facts?? Here’s a link to some stats about arraigned marriages , where it says that more women would rather poison themselves than seek a divorce . Believe me when I say that in arranged marriages the concept of a refusal is just as taboo as divorce, successful ones are too few and far between to consider implementing it into modern culture. And yes I can argue against a council deciding who you marry, especially since only you know what you want in a spouse, a council would be deciding what was best for your caste or familial line, that doesn’t lend itself to personal happiness nor does it encourage the idea of free will. The only reason for their to be a council to decide someone’s actions is because they’re considering how you can benefit a system. brandongaille.com/25-shocking-arranged-marriages-statistics/
@@Hardlythere I read this article & it was pretty good. That part about women who'd rather poison themselves was about women in India, though. It mentioned different cultures and the distinction between arranged & forced marriages. It mentioned the pros & cons of arranged marriages, as well. From the Indian marriages I've seen here, I see them pretty happy, so maybe the environment has something to do with it. With some of them being young adults, maybe not being in their country surrounded by pressuring elders gives them more freedom to live how they want as a couple. We're a little more loose in the U.S. and we have more opportunities for the wife to work & financially contribute to the household.
Earlona Weary true enough but would that part of our culture still hold in the US after the implementation of arraigned marriage? We also have to consider what that would do to our culture as a whole, not saying that it’s perfect, it isn’t by a far stretch. But if arraigned marriage would become a common practice then wouldn’t we in turn also be accepting the potential negative effects we see in India? It just seems to me that the places that practice arraigned marriage aren’t especially fond of individual rights, especially where women are concerned.
Many of the arranged marriages I've heard of, the parents do find the potential mates but the kids still meet first and decide whether they like each other / consent to the marriage.
@@eoa363 That only goes on for so long tho. Especially if you are a girl in the family. If your family is lenient in that way, the expectation is for you to choose a partner in a timely fashion. It usually takes about 6 months at most. It's not at all "consensual arrangement" when pressure is placed on you to choose quickly.
As someone that comes from an Arranged Marriage household, and have been witnessed to several arranged marriages, even though you have a choice, there is a stigma and possible repercussions behind saying no on both the male and female. I think the idea Angel is making is fantastic, but I think Tahir's point of "arranged dating" would make more sense in this case and is closely similar to what she's saying (at least from what I can see)
Angel’s arguments for “consensual arranged marriage” were WEAK. You want to make people do something that you admit you didn’t and couldn’t do??? Girl BYE! The problem isn’t people getting married, the problem is a lot of people don’t know what it means to BE married once they take that step.
Jo’el Santiago “the problem is a lot of people don’t know what it means to BE married once they take that step.” ^^^^^^THIS, this, and This again^^^^ I felt this in my soul.
Nina May I listened to an audio book with a Middle Eastern woman called Majd. She described how little she wanted to be arranged to marry. Luckily for her she got a progressive husband out of it, but I wouldn’t want my child to have little choice in the matter when it comes to who they want to be with.
"Successful" is subjective. Is success how long you have been married or the commitment? People can be married for 50 years but feel like strangers in their home
Rochelle Smith right, we’ve started to redefine what a successful marriage is. In the past a couple where either of the partners was a victim of domestic abuse from the other but stuck together despite that and even rose above was considered successful. Nowadays, that’s not really the case because the success came at the expense of one (or in some cases several, if you include the children) of the parties involved. So in other words, it’s not sustainable and replicable success just short-term success at best. So, socially speaking arranged marriages make the most sense. Older adults usually have the better sense to pick the right mate to make things like productivity more likely. However, it comes at a great cost of individualism at best and can make the lives of the parties involved hell on earth at worst.
@The Truth Understandable, but those people were a real life example of a community that engages in arranged marriages in the U.S. That probably was not the only place you can find them or other examples of people like them. There's also a show called Married At First Sight that's very similar.
"In a multitude of counselors, there Is wisdom." I think that if more people got and received counsel from God, their parents, friends, pastors, and trusted advisors, there would be fewer divorces.
I believe that scripture to be accurate. But it depends on the "counselors ". There are some people who are not wise. I grew up around alcoholics. I've seen many drunk talks. Which is where a group of drunk people say something that is totally ridiculous but yet they all agree that it's right. And I've been around sober people who agreed on something that wasn't accurate or reasonable. I think the "counselors " have to first be wise themselves. Because sometimes it's just a multitude of fools giving foolish advice.
Growing up I disliked my dad because he was so aggressive. I feared him and so did my mom , but when she divorced him everything got easier and better. She went against her religion and culture just to give me a happy, safe home to grow up in. So No I'm not with arranged marriages and any system made to entrap women in loveless and dangerous situations.
When Heidi said "her boyfriend broke up with her through the mom" I felt that. That happened to me with my ex girlfriend. I was between jobs at the time, the day after christmas I think 2 years ago... and her mom told us to come over to the moms house. This woman... I was berated, my family was berated, called a disappointment, I was told that someone her daughter dates has to have a full time job with benefits (and I was just between jobs like 🤷🏽♂️ what the heck?) It was definitely something burned into my head of not being accepted, not for who I was but the circumstance I was in at the time. I got 2 jobs now so it's all good. I did manage to keep my cat, Orange, from the relationship but left the girl. I wish nobody be in that situation because lemme tell yall I was uncomfortable from the jump. I'm socially awkward anyway but to be sitting in a home of fox news watching trump supporters with my brown skin I'm like "uh oh..." Man now I think Big G was doing me a favor by being like 'you dont need all that in your life' I'm single and just chillin now, not trying to go through that mess again...
You dated a person who's family was Trump supporters?? You pretty much did it to yourself. Were they a white family? White family never allow their daughters to be with guys who don't have their sh*t together. Even if it's "circumstancial". (Nigerian families do the same thing but without the racism, lol, they're moreso ethnocentric) Especially is the guy is not white. He'd have to be a millionaire. That's why they don't make a fuss when their daughters date rich black athletes. As long as they get married so they're protected if they ever broke up.
Kyle, I will give you an advise my mother always gave me after my break ups: what is meant for you will stay in your life, what is not meant to be will disappear. There is so much life and love to experience, trust me. Take care of yourself and enjoy life Brother!
Arrange marriages, Forcing marriages won’t help build a family just burden people together it won’t eliminate the real problem waiting ahead of marriage
GQTUESDAY but listen though a majority of girls can’t find a good man for shit it would be better if they have a great father or father figure would aid better in making the decision because they are good man themselves
GQTUESDAY Just look at the black community there are many women who have children with no father because they were raised in a single mother household you can’t find a good man if you don’t have anyone to compare a good man too
GQTUESDAY and also I want to mention that in some cases people don’t know themselves all that well and parents are most likely to know about you if they’re good parents than you know yo damn self
Emma XTC the main reason why abuse happens is because females be chasing after thugs they barely ever Chase after a guy who’s responsible, pays his bills on time, has a stable income, and never gets in trouble or act a fool
Example: The doctors I work for have a consensual arranged marriage. They have been dating sense the wife was 13. By 21, the wife had 4 option and chose her husband. They seem happier than "love marriages" honestly. Now, she has told me that some her cousin had no choices and had to marry the first guy they were present to.
One of my coworkers is in a consensual arranged marriage she says she wouldn't do it any other way she has the best husband they have been together for almost 10 years
In some cases. Humans are very adaptable, once u get used to a certain condition its very difficult to leave. From My experience they usually last even when they move to a Western country where the laws are more protective of the women.
@@filmont9383 this shit is basically Stockholm syndrome, the person's mind is being forced into a shape that fits the other person instead of finding two pieces that fit together
No one ever brought up the social experiment: Married at first sight. The test population is super small, but their success rate is only 27.6% to date.
I feel like those experts either have no clue what they're doing, or, they just match volatile couples for TV ratings. If it were a real social experiment then it shouldn't be televised in a reality TV format, but rather a documentary.
S Latrell I think some of the participants on MAFS aren’t being truthful or even know what they want. Monae is a prime example: she stated she wanted a traditional man, got one and didn’t want traditional roles.
Marriage is a business, always has, always will be. That's why you need a license. It's an institution to build wealth through family partnerships/ties. That's why men had dowries on brides. The engagement ring is like a modern-day dowry. Marrying for love/romance is a fairly new concept.
Exactly!! This should have been her argument, especially for the black community. The upper class aren't marrying for "romance" and on the rare occasions that they do it's still across economic lines. If we look at when black marriages were at its highest, the community as whole was doing better financially. Marriage is for the progression of a family line and to build wealth.
@@RDCFemmes they do. The funny thing is no one actually refers to what they're doing as arranged marriages. They just orchestrate their whole lives so their kids are hyper exposed to the people they want their kids to associate with. It's why gated communities and private schools and country clubs exist. It's about keeping the pathway to access very narrow so only the best can get through. Ideally. Sometimes it's only about the money though.
I have an idea. Why don’t people/families do whatever they want with their own lives. Also arranged marriage wasn’t a law. During the days of “arranged marriages” there were still people who said, “Naw, I’m marrying for love.”
I think enough research was done. It's a pointless topic. Arranged marriages are a limitation on the choice of the two people being proped up to get married. Arranged marriages have the highest success rate, not because of love, although people can fall in love, but because of outside pressure though family, culture, religion, and sometimes even law.
Is that because people remain unhappy for the rest of their lives because getting divorced is not an option or because they don't want to be alone? Getting married won't lower divorce rates, staying married does
I think the commitment to STAY married, needs to be a part of the equation also. There are going to be challenges in marriages, however throwing in the proverbial towel when those hard times come, can be premature and never lead to the fuller and more experienced “council” of elders who can pass on authentic marriage wisdom that young couples need to be educated about.
@@Juice-ig3jz I don't think that walking away from a union is gender specific. Both men and women involved in the commitment can exit a marriage prematurely.
Being that my Mother && I don’t have the best relationship and the fact that she doesn’t know me very well means that I would never allow for her to arrange a marriage on my behalf.
I agree. I have lived in southern India and also spent short times in different areas of India. The panel should have a native from India on the panel. I think that would help everyone see the topic much more clearly. I am not saying arranged or love marriages are wrong or right. Put someone on the panel who has lived in Indian culture their whole life. I believe that could quickly end most confusion and questions for them. I would love to see that. I enjoy this topic. 💖
I think she saying by ourselves we make bad decisions it’s good have people you trust making decisions for us, they may have more insight. I see what she is saying.
So are ya'll trying to have healthy marriages or long marriages? Because I've never understood this obsession with long marriages but never addressing the toxicity that sustained this length. I honestly think this conversation needs to be elevated to something else
I know this is a sweeping generalization but when I hear "arranged marriage" I think of forced marriage in context of the bride and groom giving in to parental coercion for fear of disappointing their families among other things. What they are discussing in the video is more along the lines of courtship. To me, courtship is more structured and purposeful than just dating. Btw, using your singleness to live your life, work on yourself, and get to know who you really are and what you want is a good thing. Nothing wrong with marrying later than 25 🙌🏾
The left couch looks like an optical illusion. Patrick makes the couch look big as hell and the other bald dude make the couch look tiny as hell. Look at him! He is in a full blown squat! Ass almost touching the damn ground. TELL. ME.HOW!!! 🤣😂🤣
Tahir was on point. Marriage does not mean stability. Only thing that changes with marriage is taxes, insurance, and legal risks. Its people out here that's been together 15 to 20 years with no marriage. You can have a loving committed relationship without marriage
Exactly! Staying in mess you should have never been in. Crying on your knees, waiting on a miracle. Thinking that you won because you endured mistreatment and abuse for 30 years until your spouse decided to do right.
I’ve BEEN said this!!!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 I agree with everything she just said. People out here getting married for looks & romance which isn’t forever. Arranged is way more practical and sustainable. Marriage is a wealth builder. It decreases the need for living off the government & single parenthood which typically goes hand and hand with poverty. I’ve know people with arranged marriages and their still married decades later everyone else I know who married for love is divorced. Romantic love is not enough to sustain a marriage. Love can come later in a marriage. You can learn and grow to love anyone who treats you right.
Let me also ask this what are these marriages built on like what is the concrete foundation because you say you can learn to love someone if they are treating you right that is backwards as hell In my opinion because why dedicate your life to someone you barely care about!!..
Codie Boyd the point is building generational wealth, foundation of values and morals, raising children. To be more specific romantic love can come later and shouldn’t be priority
@@Christian80806 and I understand that but still even if you push all those ideals first that doesn't guarantee that love will come later cause the consensus is that the husband & wife are just business partners that fuck and reproduce without any love or intimacy in their marriage
Not a bad idea! America should've practiced arranged marriages, rather than letting people choose their own mates. Majority of Americans don't now how to choose the right mate.
WE NEED TO CHANGE OUR PROSPECTIVES ON DIVORCE! Why do people think that divorce is a bad thing and that long lasting marriages are a good thing? You know how many people have grandparents that have been married for 40+ years and in that marriage the woman had to deal with cheating, outside children, physical and emotional abuse?? Older generations may have had longer marriages and lower divorce rates, but the marriages were extremely volatile, toxic, and love-less.
She just explained matchmaking... If it's consensual and arranged and they can say no, it's matchmaking. Also, Tahir made hella sense... He's saying focus on getting to know people more. Date more, figure people out more and find what you want... The most sense.
Consensual arrange marriage is a thing. Happens in west Africa and middle eastern countries all the times. It goes like this: My aunt who might know of a family that has a single son will invite him and the mother to a dinner and tell the son to come. My mother would bring me as well and then they will introduce us and we will date and let them know if it will go further. My roommate from Nepal was just set up in a consensual arrange marriage. Her family reached out to a few families in Nepal for there daughter. I had a male roommate from Dubai and he said this happens as well. The mothers meet, and vet the son. Is he stable, have a job etc before they let the adults meet, get to know each other etc, and decide if marriage is possible. Not sure if it will work in America but it does work well.
Lol she's basically advocating for parents setting you up on a blind date; cuz if you can just deny for whatever reason you want, is it still an arranged marriage?
This point....horrible. Arranged marriages aren’t historically consensual. They’re generally forced, that’s just what they are. The success rate is 93% because you can’t just get out of one. What’s the success rate? You’re under the pressure of the entire family to have this thing go one. And in most countries you’re just literally not allowed to divorce. You’re a bargaining chip. And if it’s consensual than it’s not an arranged marriage. That’s arguing parental input should be in relationships. Plus most families don’t even have parental child interactions.
I agree with her 100%. Ppl who marry purely for love without the other factors needed to sustain a marriage, unless they are lucky, will end up in divorce. Speaking for myself there are absolutely conditions to my love. Unconditional love is not a thing. American are overly emotional when it comes to marriage
@@RileyHuey16 Google is your friend. Here are some definitions: "Arranged marriage is a type of marital union where the bride and groom are selected by individuals other than the couple themselves." "If you describe something as outdated, you mean that you think it is old-fashioned and no longer useful or relevant to modern life." "A barbarian is a human who is perceived to be either uncivilized or primitive." Just because something is arranged does not make it forced (I showed you the definition) Just because something is outdated, doesn't mean it doesn't work...democracy is older than many religions.. it's still practiced today Using the word barbaric doesn't even fit this conversation. You're just saying words with no meaning and no understanding
I can see her point. I think a lot of people are ignoring the “consensual” part of her statement. Meaning that you don’t have to say yes to any or every person that you are presented with. Also this wouldn’t mean the US will revert to some archaic oppressive way of life. I think she’s saying this could encourage us to be more thoughtful about what things that would be valuable in a long term marriage. I don’t get along with my mom so if this were a way of life I may not have her involved in the process or not accept any suggestions she makes. I’m happily married but I’ve seen so many people that do seek long term relationships with short term foundations. Some of these relationships you can spot disaster coming from a mile away. I’m not saying we should definitely do this but I can understand the argument and possible value of it.
Y’all think unpopular opinions are good opinions but they’re not. Also abusive parents DO EXIST and I wouldn’t trust them to arrange a marriage for their kid. Y’all want people to be married so bad that you’ll literally force them into marriages. If you want an arranged marriage then have one. I’m sure your parents would love to arrange one for you.
I think she's light years ahead in light of where we are heading now with all the hook ups through social media and apps. My 19 year old says girls don't even want to go in real dates and they play the DM game with multiple guys. IDK but there are also some trolls out there and I would love to vet for my kids. But I respect their journey.
![Noob To Max With DRAGON REWORK In Blox Fruits [FULL MOVIE]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/LnBMOinoOvA/mqdefault.jpg)
Patrick “ can I go first? Ohh my god that was dumb”😂😂😂 0:59
🤣🤣🤣
He's always loud and wrong.
OKay Gee if you don’t want free will, free choice and not make life Decisions for yourself, that is fine but the rest of us don’t want are life ran like a dictatorship
@@okaygee4132 You're a dumb sheep so it makes sense that you feel that way.
@@HIPPYLOCO What success, joy in life do you have to make your opinion and goals worth anything?
Patrick: "Oh my God, that was dumb!" Lmao!! I felt that!
In my bones!!!
Swear
In my heart
Yep! That was the dumbest thing I ever heard! DUMB!
53% divorce rate.... say what you want but those are the numbers
I would agree with this IF, parents spent time with their children and got to know them. A lot of parents do not know their own kids like that to know who a good mate would be for them.
I know my mother is far too surface oriented to choose a man for me. If she had her way, all I would have to choose from is 6 foot plus athletes.
@Nonya Biz Because men are such great judges of character? Lolz! Ok.
@Nonya Biz my father is shallow too unfortunately. Both my parents are rather surface oriented. I'm kind of the odd one out in my family. I love them but our values don't click. They overlook MAJOR red flags over surface things like money, looks, popularity. I was always a bit of a nerd.
@Nonya Biz If most men are raised that way (and you view that as a negative) your argument doesnt hold water. If most men are lacking in intellect because their mothers raised them, why in the world would any woman give them the go ahead to make any decision on her choice of partners? That dont make sense. Most men per your example here are not equipped to do it.
This is an excellent point!!!
“I been married 13 years, we done had romance about twice” lmfao
Htown Lifer what’s nasty about it.
That’s so sad lmao
Mesie Noad you know what’s crazy is i know exactly what she means
@Htown Lifer Shit is mad depressing
Business Apparel Tv thank you!!!
A lot of arranged marriage nations have such a low divorce % because the woman could get killed for leaving her husband. They can also catch a beat down up for turning down an arranged marriage proposal.
Caleb yeah that was my first thought. In some of those places women don’t have the freedom to walk away from a relationship they don’t want.
👀 I was thinking about that
Yeah some of those women aren’t even allowed to work. So if they divorced they couldn’t care for themselves or their children.
You can’t compare the percentages like she did when we have completely different lifestyles from them
Glad someone said it! Islam, and cults abuse women this way. That’s why they trying to come to America for freedom.
That use to be the case and now that only happens in small villages that remote area the world
Doesn’t mean they’re happier and healthier. Just means they have more pressure to stay together.
Exactly!
Bingo!
Fact
@Nonya Biz nothing lol let people make they own life choices lol y do we need a solution on fixing there life? Isnt that there job?
agreed!
This is random as hell...but those look like some of the hardest sofas to stand up from.
F.L.O.W. Tony is STRAIGHT FOLDED into that brick couch 😂😂😂
I could be rocking like Ray Charles trying to get up from those. "Let me build up momentum first"
SpiffyPenguin every time I’m watching I’m like damn why they not sitting back then I’m like you gotta sit on the edge cuz it’s gonna be impossible to get up
RiddyOnline 😂😂😂
LMAOOO that's true tho
She said put 2 ppl together and decide if they want to be together or not. That's not an arranged marriage. That's a date
Exactly! Matchmaking
Exactly. Argument over right there!
But that whole process is the arranged marriage. So you're calling arranged marriage a date and therefore for it.
Tony looks like he needs a booster seat, he is so low on that couch😂😂
J cob - my cousin sits like that. Lol. that’s a sit when someone has to be ready to go.
🤣🤣🤣 them knees when he get up though😕
Fam. I HATE them couches. Aunt got one tryna be fancy and I feel like I'd do better on the floor.
That couch should be thrown away it's sized for some toddlers lmao
Tony’s knees touching his chest
They’re missing a point. Not everyone has a “family”. So who’s arranging marriages for orphans and foster kids who aged out of the system or have no living relatives/guardians?
A matchmaker. In places where arranged marriage is common, hiring matchmakers is an available service
That was dark but also good point, either way B's argument was crumbling cuz her first thing was about FAMILY and it being a strong unit, arrange marriages don't always got that and especially in the West cuz we have less stakes
Nobody, they can marry each other.
Lol girl this a comedy show 😂😂😂
Short answer: no they shouldn't. Societies that have arranged marriages also have deeply oppressive laws against women to justify arranged marriages in the first place. Divorce rates are low because women will always bear the brunt of it's end either financially, familiarly (some will be disowned) or worse. Some will be killed for attempting to leave. A high divorce rate in a country is indicative of the levels of freedom women hold in that country. It's not a bad thing.
Briana Oliver You said everything I was thinking and then some 💯💕 Glad to know there are people out there that still have sense 😊
Briana Oliver those are very broad strokes.... my parents divorcing at a young age changed my life. I believe religion is a big reason personally.
The reason divorce rates are "high" (which is subjective) here in the USA is because women FINALLY got a say in it. For decades women and men were in loveless marriages without the option to leave. Once divorces became easier to do through the court system. The stigma associated with divorce lessened and society advanced.
@@lesterbeaty3035 My parents divorced when I was 4. It was the BEST decision either one ever made. My parents were not compatible and I fully believe we were all headed for a disastrous future had they stayed together. I'm sorry if your experience is different. But I will never be an advocate for two people staying together just cause they have kids. It never works. If you've worked on your marriage and it's still just not working, leave. There is nothing worse than living in misery when you dont have to.
@@fofotheclown1051 Lolz. I'm so surprised folks let that reasoning just rock when she said it. Uh no. Countries that have a 7% divorce rate most definitely have tactics that prevent women from leaving, even if they wanted to. One of the best things that came out of the feminism wave in the US was choice and access. Our rates are high because American women have the freedom of choice.
Pat over there lookin like somebody mad auntie wit that leg crossed! 😂
"I'm just confused between the correlation of it being an arranged marriage and it working."- Pat Cloud
100% agree with this statement.
@Clive Nyathi you can't compare marriage to a job for one a job has already established structure where as a marriage doesn't you have to lay down the foundation to make it work
@@aceshouse3389 marriage is a contract you bring something to the table i bring something to the table
Hell No! Families be trash a lot of times and it makes no sense to have people with failing relationships telling you what to do with yours.
Sometimes, those people can tell you what NOT to do because of the mistakes they made. Let's not be too prideful to take advice.
Earlona Weary that CAN be true. Unfortunately I’ve found most people haven’t done enough self reflection to give you unbiased opinions that are truly in your best interest. A lot of things are said and done to “protect” or because we “know” better. Almost all of the time is to make ourselves feel better. That’s only my opinion though.
@@leroyensley5211 I feel you on that. Usually, I just ask certain questions that'll just get a person talking about their life experiences, and I analyze for myself the advice they give and learn from any mistakes they've made. You might be surprised the bits of self reflection you can get from someone once they really start talking.
Forcing humans to do anything is never a good idea.
What she is talking about isn't forcing anyone to do shit but pressuring people to make huge life decisions based on someone else's judgement is also not a good idea
What about the jiggy bears?
Cant just pop up and say a line about us humans. Lol
That doesn't make sense 😂. Do you stop at the red light. Yes! Are you forced to? Yep! 😂 Why? It's for your safety 😉
Arranged and forced marriages are two completely things, but can overlap
People get forced to do stuff all the time. It’s not always good, but it’s not always bad either.
Screw that these ppl in my family don’t have a clue what to do with their own marriages I’d be stupid to let them set me up with someone even if I had a say in it.
Lol
I agree
I agree with Tahir on ARRANGED DATING!!!
Agreed.
Is that the same as courting?
Yes I agree👏👏👏
A blind date?
Gabby85 courting is courting
I come from a country that does arranged marriages: what she’s describing isn’t arranged marriage, it’s match making.
What she wants is a re-evaluation of values in how we search for a mate because of the reality that marriages currently don’t last and families are broken as a result, which is having lasting effects particularly on children (their psychology, and their value structure, their sense of security, etc)
I think for that to happen, we as the collective have to re-evaluate the importance of the nuclear family for ourselves and decide what we are willing to sacrifice for that. If we put the nuclear family at the forefront, it means that we have to put our happiness and in some cases our well being in the backseat (which to clarify doesn’t mean stay in an abusive relationship). The reality though is not many people are willing to make that sacrifice 🤷🏽♀️
Edit: marriages were created to pool together resources for the betterment of FUTURE generations, aka children. This is also the evolutionary basis of marriage
I totally agree with Elle. People are basing marriages on feelings alone, but the question is do you have the COMMITMENT to stay married when feelings change.
I think people who get into arranged marriages understand the level of commitment required & I think that was ThatChickAngel’s underlying point.
@@idontwantahandle22 Of course they understand the commitment required tho. Many of them cant leave their marriages once they've entered it. Not because they love their spouses. But because they could suffer consequences if they ever tried to leave.
There actually are consenual arranged marriages, its different in different countries. In mat-making, there is 1 person, not a relative, that pairs people. In arrangements, families are involved.
Good point. It is Matchmaking.
I’m not sacrificing my well being to get in a marriage. I’m not sure if I’m gonna sacrifice my happiness either but I agree with everything else though.
This whole argument could've ended with Patricks first response... This was dumb.
MilitantMac exactly
Totally
MilitantMac not really!
Jack park death you will never know who people truly are until you cut them off
Exactly, how is it dumb? Is it so harmful for your parents to introduce you to someone? It's not by force
First off, in history Arranged marriage was and is used foremost to further social position, so parents weren’t looking for your dream spouse, they were lookin for someone who would contribute to the family’s social status, or just to marry off their daughters so they wouldn’t have to feed them anymore. Second, divorce rate is low in counties that practice arranged marriage because divorce is taboo, not because everyone is magically finding their dream spouse. Lastly, Arranged marriage has historically been used to sexually exploit young minority women by older men. The divorce rate is high in America because women now have the freedom to choose to leave a spouse they are unhappy with. Realistically a “consensual” arranged marriage wouldn’t happen, if your parents are pressuring you to marry someone and you feel a familial obligation to accept, that’s not really consensual. There’s too many potential avenues to exploit the concept of arranged marriage.
Say thattttttttttt!!!!!!!
This isn't the whole argument though. There are plenty of people in thriving arranged marriages, and you can't deny that having counsel before making a serious decision like getting married to someone is incredibly beneficial. They're also right more often than not.
Estie P where are you getting these facts?? Here’s a link to some stats about arraigned marriages , where it says that more women would rather poison themselves than seek a divorce . Believe me when I say that in arranged marriages the concept of a refusal is just as taboo as divorce, successful ones are too few and far between to consider implementing it into modern culture. And yes I can argue against a council deciding who you marry, especially since only you know what you want in a spouse, a council would be deciding what was best for your caste or familial line, that doesn’t lend itself to personal happiness nor does it encourage the idea of free will. The only reason for their to be a council to decide someone’s actions is because they’re considering how you can benefit a system.
brandongaille.com/25-shocking-arranged-marriages-statistics/
@@Hardlythere I read this article & it was pretty good. That part about women who'd rather poison themselves was about women in India, though. It mentioned different cultures and the distinction between arranged & forced marriages. It mentioned the pros & cons of arranged marriages, as well.
From the Indian marriages I've seen here, I see them pretty happy, so maybe the environment has something to do with it. With some of them being young adults, maybe not being in their country surrounded by pressuring elders gives them more freedom to live how they want as a couple. We're a little more loose in the U.S. and we have more opportunities for the wife to work & financially contribute to the household.
Earlona Weary true enough but would that part of our culture still hold in the US after the implementation of arraigned marriage? We also have to consider what that would do to our culture as a whole, not saying that it’s perfect, it isn’t by a far stretch. But if arraigned marriage would become a common practice then wouldn’t we in turn also be accepting the potential negative effects we see in India? It just seems to me that the places that practice arraigned marriage aren’t especially fond of individual rights, especially where women are concerned.
This just sounds like your parents setting you up. Consensual arrangement makes no sense.
Yea
Many of the arranged marriages I've heard of, the parents do find the potential mates but the kids still meet first and decide whether they like each other / consent to the marriage.
@@eoa363 That only goes on for so long tho. Especially if you are a girl in the family. If your family is lenient in that way, the expectation is for you to choose a partner in a timely fashion. It usually takes about 6 months at most. It's not at all "consensual arrangement" when pressure is placed on you to choose quickly.
What she is describing is match making, not an arranged marriage.
@@JasmineJ_ so essentially the same shit
As someone that comes from an Arranged Marriage household, and have been witnessed to several arranged marriages, even though you have a choice, there is a stigma and possible repercussions behind saying no on both the male and female.
I think the idea Angel is making is fantastic, but I think Tahir's point of "arranged dating" would make more sense in this case and is closely similar to what she's saying (at least from what I can see)
Angel’s arguments for “consensual arranged marriage” were WEAK.
You want to make people do something that you admit you didn’t and couldn’t do??? Girl BYE!
The problem isn’t people getting married, the problem is a lot of people don’t know what it means to BE married once they take that step.
Jo’el Santiago “the problem is a lot of people don’t know what it means to BE married once they take that step.”
^^^^^^THIS, this, and This again^^^^ I felt this in my soul.
Not necessarily that they don't know how it's not a blueprint for marriage or relationship so you're pretty doing a trial & error
Marriage is caring for each other in all aspects and some people DONT know how to do this
This is infuriating to hear as a Middle Eastern women - they don't know the subjugation and oppression behind arranged marriage cultures.
Nina May I listened to an audio book with a Middle Eastern woman called Majd. She described how little she wanted to be arranged to marry. Luckily for her she got a progressive husband out of it, but I wouldn’t want my child to have little choice in the matter when it comes to who they want to be with.
Exactly, I’m not a woman from that area of the world but I’ve heard about how horrible it is.
EGGZZACTLYYYYYY
@f3mcell why are you cosplaying as a woman… that’s weird
"Successful" is subjective. Is success how long you have been married or the commitment? People can be married for 50 years but feel like strangers in their home
Rochelle Smith right, we’ve started to redefine what a successful marriage is. In the past a couple where either of the partners was a victim of domestic abuse from the other but stuck together despite that and even rose above was considered successful. Nowadays, that’s not really the case because the success came at the expense of one (or in some cases several, if you include the children) of the parties involved. So in other words, it’s not sustainable and replicable success just short-term success at best.
So, socially speaking arranged marriages make the most sense. Older adults usually have the better sense to pick the right mate to make things like productivity more likely. However, it comes at a great cost of individualism at best and can make the lives of the parties involved hell on earth at worst.
"Men be hoing for too long"
Well somebody's letting them smash so they gotta take blame too
I'm guessing you're a red pill brotha.
Chill, don't let them know it's a 2 way street lol
Angel didn’t try to hear the other arguments and was hard-headed. She needs to know what worked for her doesn’t mean it’ll work for everybody 🤷🏾♂️
Ugh I agree, she irked me.
But it Has worked for many. Oprah even had a couple on her show years ago.
@The Truth Understandable, but those people were a real life example of a community that engages in arranged marriages in the U.S. That probably was not the only place you can find them or other examples of people like them. There's also a show called Married At First Sight that's very similar.
The Truth Aww cry some more😢
Her marriage wasn’t arranged she met her husband organically
I would rather do trial and error myself. My family doesn’t know me that well.
"In a multitude of counselors, there Is wisdom." I think that if more people got and received counsel from God, their parents, friends, pastors, and trusted advisors, there would be fewer divorces.
I believe that scripture to be accurate. But it depends on the "counselors ". There are some people who are not wise. I grew up around alcoholics. I've seen many drunk talks. Which is where a group of drunk people say something that is totally ridiculous but yet they all agree that it's right. And I've been around sober people who agreed on something that wasn't accurate or reasonable. I think the "counselors " have to first be wise themselves. Because sometimes it's just a multitude of fools giving foolish advice.
@Vikki DC thank you. I'm glad someone agreed
But what if you don't believe in any god(s) or you practice a religion that's greatly different from whomever you're supposed to marry?
Growing up I disliked my dad because he was so aggressive. I feared him and so did my mom , but when she divorced him everything got easier and better.
She went against her religion and culture just to give me a happy, safe home to grow up in.
So No I'm not with arranged marriages and any system made to entrap women in loveless and dangerous situations.
She said she was for arranging marriages (or what she is taking about which is basically match making) she didn’t say she was against divorce 🤷🏾♀️
Also sorry you had to that type of situation and I’m glad life got better.
When Heidi said "her boyfriend broke up with her through the mom" I felt that. That happened to me with my ex girlfriend. I was between jobs at the time, the day after christmas I think 2 years ago... and her mom told us to come over to the moms house. This woman... I was berated, my family was berated, called a disappointment, I was told that someone her daughter dates has to have a full time job with benefits (and I was just between jobs like 🤷🏽♂️ what the heck?) It was definitely something burned into my head of not being accepted, not for who I was but the circumstance I was in at the time. I got 2 jobs now so it's all good. I did manage to keep my cat, Orange, from the relationship but left the girl. I wish nobody be in that situation because lemme tell yall I was uncomfortable from the jump. I'm socially awkward anyway but to be sitting in a home of fox news watching trump supporters with my brown skin I'm like "uh oh..." Man now I think Big G was doing me a favor by being like 'you dont need all that in your life' I'm single and just chillin now, not trying to go through that mess again...
You dated a person who's family was Trump supporters?? You pretty much did it to yourself. Were they a white family? White family never allow their daughters to be with guys who don't have their sh*t together. Even if it's "circumstancial". (Nigerian families do the same thing but without the racism, lol, they're moreso ethnocentric) Especially is the guy is not white. He'd have to be a millionaire. That's why they don't make a fuss when their daughters date rich black athletes. As long as they get married so they're protected if they ever broke up.
Glad you dodged that bullet, keep doing what you are doing! Your dream girl will come when the time is right!
@@lovelyladi0113 thank you!
@@AlllSmiless lol the trump supporter was a red flag fo'sho but I looked passed it not to judge initially, but you right. Definitely a white family.
Kyle, I will give you an advise my mother always gave me after my break ups: what is meant for you will stay in your life, what is not meant to be will disappear. There is so much life and love to experience, trust me. Take care of yourself and enjoy life Brother!
Arrange marriages, Forcing marriages won’t help build a family just burden people together it won’t eliminate the real problem waiting ahead of marriage
GQTUESDAY but listen though a majority of girls can’t find a good man for shit it would be better if they have a great father or father figure would aid better in making the decision because they are good man themselves
GQTUESDAY Just look at the black community there are many women who have children with no father because they were raised in a single mother household you can’t find a good man if you don’t have anyone to compare a good man too
GQTUESDAY and also I want to mention that in some cases people don’t know themselves all that well and parents are most likely to know about you if they’re good parents than you know yo damn self
Emma XTC the main reason why abuse happens is because females be chasing after thugs they barely ever Chase after a guy who’s responsible, pays his bills on time, has a stable income, and never gets in trouble or act a fool
Emma XTC that would never happen if there was a male figure watching over the relationship for example a father, father figure, or a brother
I’ve never heard of a consensual marriage arrangement lmao
Rich ppl do it all the time. That's how rich white folks keep old money in the family
AlllSmiless but what I’ve read it’s more or less for business rather than romance. The way she described it made no sense
@@christiankojojones495 which part was confusing tho...? Someone even brought up rich ppl (in America) doing it in the video.
Example: The doctors I work for have a consensual arranged marriage. They have been dating sense the wife was 13. By 21, the wife had 4 option and chose her husband. They seem happier than "love marriages" honestly. Now, she has told me that some her cousin had no choices and had to marry the first guy they were present to.
Love Jones Adults dating and GROOMING 13 year old girls and seem “happier”? Fucking GROSS
00:10 Patrick is me during this whole discussion
Bwaaaahahaha!
Tahir made one of the best points in this argument 🤷🏾♂️
One of my coworkers is in a consensual arranged marriage she says she wouldn't do it any other way she has the best husband they have been together for almost 10 years
Jagged Edge tried to tell ya'll back in the day
"We ain't gettin no younger so we might as well do it"
So we just gonna ignore Pat sitting like a disapproved aunt
Therion Coston 5:00 for the time stamp
Maybe they stay together because the woman is usually threatened with death if they leave? She obviously doesn’t research much.
In some cases. Humans are very adaptable, once u get used to a certain condition its very difficult to leave. From My experience they usually last even when they move to a Western country where the laws are more protective of the women.
@@filmont9383 this shit is basically Stockholm syndrome, the person's mind is being forced into a shape that fits the other person instead of finding two pieces that fit together
That sounds like matchmaking and counseling throughout the marriage.
Parents used to find and interview people to date their kids, before.
Nah, her argument fell drastically. Shorry
No one ever brought up the social experiment: Married at first sight. The test population is super small, but their success rate is only 27.6% to date.
I feel like those experts either have no clue what they're doing, or, they just match volatile couples for TV ratings. If it were a real social experiment then it shouldn't be televised in a reality TV format, but rather a documentary.
S Latrell I think some of the participants on MAFS aren’t being truthful or even know what they want. Monae is a prime example: she stated she wanted a traditional man, got one and didn’t want traditional roles.
Both good points...possibly a combination of both...
Marriage is a business, always has, always will be. That's why you need a license. It's an institution to build wealth through family partnerships/ties. That's why men had dowries on brides. The engagement ring is like a modern-day dowry. Marrying for love/romance is a fairly new concept.
You do NOT need a license. Many choose to marry with a license because they're unaware they can legally get married WITHOUT a license.
THANK YOU!
Exactly!! This should have been her argument, especially for the black community. The upper class aren't marrying for "romance" and on the rare occasions that they do it's still across economic lines. If we look at when black marriages were at its highest, the community as whole was doing better financially. Marriage is for the progression of a family line and to build wealth.
Why Pat sitting like that tho.. looking like somebody auntie
Bwaaahaha
Arranged marriages already exist in America. It's mostly practiced by religious and ethnic minorities.
Hasidic Jew
Hindus
@@gqtuesday that, and MANY African immigrant families, muslims, Indian, some "Quiverfull" white religious groups. Etc etc.
Even wealthy families encourages marriages for family businesses
@@RDCFemmes they do. The funny thing is no one actually refers to what they're doing as arranged marriages. They just orchestrate their whole lives so their kids are hyper exposed to the people they want their kids to associate with. It's why gated communities and private schools and country clubs exist. It's about keeping the pathway to access very narrow so only the best can get through. Ideally. Sometimes it's only about the money though.
I have an idea. Why don’t people/families do whatever they want with their own lives. Also arranged marriage wasn’t a law. During the days of “arranged marriages” there were still people who said, “Naw, I’m marrying for love.”
During the days of arranged marriage?
The homey just had a arrainged marriage 2 years ago, bought a house last year and baby on the way.
I’m so glad she is wearing a blessed shirt because Jesus help her please.
patrick really looks like the recovering drug addict auntie
BigMoney Slick 😂😂😩
Literally NO ONE has been on board with Angel’s arguments. More research definitely has to be done on this topic man
I think enough research was done. It's a pointless topic. Arranged marriages are a limitation on the choice of the two people being proped up to get married. Arranged marriages have the highest success rate, not because of love, although people can fall in love, but because of outside pressure though family, culture, religion, and sometimes even law.
She trippin, people just get married too early in the US.
Someone come get Dey auntie Patrick 💯😂🤣🤣🤣😭😭
Is that because people remain unhappy for the rest of their lives because getting divorced is not an option or because they don't want to be alone? Getting married won't lower divorce rates, staying married does
CeeJay611 - probably both.
I think the commitment to STAY married, needs to be a part of the equation also. There are going to be challenges in marriages, however throwing in the proverbial towel when those hard times come, can be premature and never lead to the fuller and more experienced “council” of elders who can pass on authentic marriage wisdom that young couples need to be educated about.
That’s the bigger problem. So many divorces are over trivial things. Women are happy to walk out especially if there is money to be had.
@@Juice-ig3jz I don't think that walking away from a union is gender specific. Both men and women involved in the commitment can exit a marriage prematurely.
@@hishandmaiden718 well to his point over 70% of divorces are initiated by the wife.
@@Snowboarding2020 Initiated does not equal caused. And I would like to mature past finger pointing...
@@hishandmaiden718 good for you, hopefully soon you can mature past calling a mere fact stating as finger-pointing.
After taking marriage & family in college a few years back...I agree! Getting married for “love”{solely} is foolishness to me.
Yes indeed.
Boomers...
Being that my Mother && I don’t have the best relationship and the fact that she doesn’t know me very well means that I would never allow for her to arrange a marriage on my behalf.
As an Indian, I am quaking. 😂
Same here bro, this is hilarious to watch as an Indian
😂😂😂😂😂😂
@@klashnekov86 could you enlighten us pls?
How does it work in Indian culture just curious
I agree. I have lived in southern India and also spent short times in different areas of India. The panel should have a native from India on the panel. I think that would help everyone see the topic much more clearly. I am not saying arranged or love marriages are wrong or right. Put someone on the panel who has lived in Indian culture their whole life. I believe that could quickly end most confusion and questions for them. I would love to see that. I enjoy this topic. 💖
“Look at their stupid lying face” 😂😂 I want this to be longer tbh.
That white couch is like a bed without a box spring. Soooo low
🙄 when people are talking but not saying nothing at all .
People don’t need to get married in the first place
I think she saying by ourselves we make bad decisions it’s good have people you trust making decisions for us, they may have more insight. I see what she is saying.
Thank you! People are missing the point.
Everytime she argue something it ruins my morning ... thankyou pat!!!
Straight up have never agreed with angel on anything 🤷🏽♀️
kevinbusy1904 literally was just thinking this. Her arguments never pan out.
So are ya'll trying to have healthy marriages or long marriages? Because I've never understood this obsession with long marriages but never addressing the toxicity that sustained this length. I honestly think this conversation needs to be elevated to something else
I know this is a sweeping generalization but when I hear "arranged marriage" I think of forced marriage in context of the bride and groom giving in to parental coercion for fear of disappointing their families among other things.
What they are discussing in the video is more along the lines of courtship. To me, courtship is more structured and purposeful than just dating.
Btw, using your singleness to live your life, work on yourself, and get to know who you really are and what you want is a good thing. Nothing wrong with marrying later than 25 🙌🏾
ko676 - this is how I felt.
The left couch looks like an optical illusion. Patrick makes the couch look big as hell and the other bald dude make the couch look tiny as hell. Look at him! He is in a full blown squat! Ass almost touching the damn ground. TELL. ME.HOW!!! 🤣😂🤣
“Ive never heard of that [consensual arranged marriage] until now”
Lost in the comments
Tahir was on point. Marriage does not mean stability. Only thing that changes with marriage is taxes, insurance, and legal risks. Its people out here that's been together 15 to 20 years with no marriage. You can have a loving committed relationship without marriage
This is the most craziest thing I ever heard. Hell no!
What’s up wit Pat crossin his legs like that?!!? 🤣🤣🤣
These Christian values low-key will have you settling for less.
A great majority of them, at least.
How?
Exactly! Staying in mess you should have never been in. Crying on your knees, waiting on a miracle. Thinking that you won because you endured mistreatment and abuse for 30 years until your spouse decided to do right.
At the 3:36 mark Pat is sitting like The Baddest He-Bitch out here!
I had to lol.. hahahaha q
I’ve BEEN said this!!!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 I agree with everything she just said. People out here getting married for looks & romance which isn’t forever. Arranged is way more practical and sustainable. Marriage is a wealth builder. It decreases the need for living off the government & single parenthood which typically goes hand and hand with poverty. I’ve know people with arranged marriages and their still married decades later everyone else I know who married for love is divorced. Romantic love is not enough to sustain a marriage. Love can come later in a marriage. You can learn and grow to love anyone who treats you right.
THank you people don't realize that single parent society leads to poverty smh
Love can come later in a marriage wtf???....what the hell is the point then smh
Let me also ask this what are these marriages built on like what is the concrete foundation because you say you can learn to love someone if they are treating you right that is backwards as hell In my opinion because why dedicate your life to someone you barely care about!!..
Codie Boyd the point is building generational wealth, foundation of values and morals, raising children. To be more specific romantic love can come later and shouldn’t be priority
@@Christian80806 and I understand that but still even if you push all those ideals first that doesn't guarantee that love will come later cause the consensus is that the husband & wife are just business partners that fuck and reproduce without any love or intimacy in their marriage
I love pats face changes at 00:09. From wtf to, "yo you serious". Lmfaooo
Can someone please give Tony a higher chair? He looks so uncomfortable 😂😂😂.
Not a bad idea! America should've practiced arranged marriages, rather than letting people choose their own mates. Majority of Americans don't now how to choose the right mate.
08:01 I thought those crossed legs were Sabrina’s ...
Did you thinking changed into army pants real quick or something? 😆
Hahahaha
Lol!!!!
😂😂😂
Okay Tahir ‼️ you rebound back with the dog analogy
It sounds more like seeking advice from parents and not an arranged marriage.
"OMG that was dumb" ....Patrick is an entire mood lmaooo
No no no, people change personalities all throughout life. This would just be such a mess
WE NEED TO CHANGE OUR PROSPECTIVES ON DIVORCE! Why do people think that divorce is a bad thing and that long lasting marriages are a good thing? You know how many people have grandparents that have been married for 40+ years and in that marriage the woman had to deal with cheating, outside children, physical and emotional abuse?? Older generations may have had longer marriages and lower divorce rates, but the marriages were extremely volatile, toxic, and love-less.
I agree to a point. In building a family it took a family (in most cases).
She just explained matchmaking... If it's consensual and arranged and they can say no, it's matchmaking.
Also, Tahir made hella sense... He's saying focus on getting to know people more. Date more, figure people out more and find what you want... The most sense.
Consensual arrange marriage is a thing. Happens in west Africa and middle eastern countries all the times. It goes like this: My aunt who might know of a family that has a single son will invite him and the mother to a dinner and tell the son to come. My mother would bring me as well and then they will introduce us and we will date and let them know if it will go further. My roommate from Nepal was just set up in a consensual arrange marriage. Her family reached out to a few families in Nepal for there daughter. I had a male roommate from Dubai and he said this happens as well. The mothers meet, and vet the son. Is he stable, have a job etc before they let the adults meet, get to know each other etc, and decide if marriage is possible. Not sure if it will work in America but it does work well.
They do say marriages on business last longer than marriages on love at least according to the data
No no no! I want to make my own decisions🙋🏾♀️
Pat sit like somebody unimpressed auntie 😂😂😂😂
This is the dumbest unpopular opinion episode yet. There’s no way she believed her own argument.
Factsss makes no sense
Why is Patrick sitting like somebody baby mama tho..
Lol she's basically advocating for parents setting you up on a blind date; cuz if you can just deny for whatever reason you want, is it still an arranged marriage?
That's just matchmaking
This point....horrible. Arranged marriages aren’t historically consensual. They’re generally forced, that’s just what they are. The success rate is 93% because you can’t just get out of one. What’s the success rate? You’re under the pressure of the entire family to have this thing go one. And in most countries you’re just literally not allowed to divorce. You’re a bargaining chip. And if it’s consensual than it’s not an arranged marriage. That’s arguing parental input should be in relationships.
Plus most families don’t even have parental child interactions.
I agree with her 100%. Ppl who marry purely for love without the other factors needed to sustain a marriage, unless they are lucky, will end up in divorce.
Speaking for myself there are absolutely conditions to my love. Unconditional love is not a thing.
American are overly emotional when it comes to marriage
Agreed
@@Juice-ig3jz 100% agreed.
Agreed; the only unconditional love I'm aware of is parents to children.
The fact that some of them couldn't differentiate between arranged marriages v.s. forced marriages...God bless!🤣
Right?! A lot of different cultures practice consensual arranged marriage
@@RileyHuey16 Google is your friend. Here are some definitions:
"Arranged marriage is a type of marital union where the bride and groom are selected by individuals other than the couple themselves."
"If you describe something as outdated, you mean that you think it is old-fashioned and no longer useful or relevant to modern life."
"A barbarian is a human who is perceived to be either uncivilized or primitive."
Just because something is arranged does not make it forced (I showed you the definition)
Just because something is outdated, doesn't mean it doesn't work...democracy is older than many religions.. it's still practiced today
Using the word barbaric doesn't even fit this conversation.
You're just saying words with no meaning and no understanding
@@RileyHuey16 My parents were arranged, and they have been successfully married for 30 years now... Or are we living in a fairy tale?
Lmao @ everyone face when she brought up the topic!!!
Pat:"Oh my God that was dumb."
Me:"that was blunt"
I can see her point. I think a lot of people are ignoring the “consensual” part of her statement. Meaning that you don’t have to say yes to any or every person that you are presented with. Also this wouldn’t mean the US will revert to some archaic oppressive way of life. I think she’s saying this could encourage us to be more thoughtful about what things that would be valuable in a long term marriage. I don’t get along with my mom so if this were a way of life I may not have her involved in the process or not accept any suggestions she makes. I’m happily married but I’ve seen so many people that do seek long term relationships with short term foundations. Some of these relationships you can spot disaster coming from a mile away. I’m not saying we should definitely do this but I can understand the argument and possible value of it.
This.
"13 years we had romance , like twice"!😂😂😂😂💀💀💀
Y’all think unpopular opinions are good opinions but they’re not. Also abusive parents DO EXIST and I wouldn’t trust them to arrange a marriage for their kid. Y’all want people to be married so bad that you’ll literally force them into marriages. If you want an arranged marriage then have one. I’m sure your parents would love to arrange one for you.
I think she's light years ahead in light of where we are heading now with all the hook ups through social media and apps. My 19 year old says girls don't even want to go in real dates and they play the DM game with multiple guys. IDK but there are also some trolls out there and I would love to vet for my kids. But I respect their journey.