Just received my TP and Dream cloths. I like the softness of the paper and the wrapping on each roll. Looks elegant. I contacted customer service with a question and they were great! 👏👏👏Thanks!
I had the most lovely thing happen during a daycare pick up for a kid I nannied. A random three year old asked if I was the kid’s other mum. It was so sweet to realise that they didn’t automatically assume I was the nanny, and already understood that not all families were like theirs.
You two ladies rock!! Great vlog! Your kids are going to be great people. They are being taught to be loving and compassionate. And to be themselves regardless of what that looks like. ❤❤
I love Amanda bringing the research! Shaye just admiring her as she speaks is just the sweetest, most supportive. ❤thank you for sharing what you’ve learned.
I love everything about your videos - the editing, the script, the pure and genuine love I see in your eyes, the way you speak, the beautiful family you are. You two are so elegant and powerful, while also radiating a sense of calm and complementing each other perfectly. I also transitioned after starting a relationship with my wife, and I am fortunate to have her by my side. Seeing beautiful love stories like yours gives me even more hope that the world is becoming better for us, trans people and non-cisnormative families. Thank you for letting us experience a little of the beautiful world of Amanda and Shaye!
I am the mother of a trans daughter & delight in your postings. The courage you have by sharing this journey with us all, creates a place for learning and understanding. Love is the true strength in parenting, shaping our children beyond believed gender rolls. I look forward to your next post. I always enjoy them and learn from them. xxxx
You two are such amazing examples of patience and understanding (where I am so drained by the mean-spirited comments, you see an opportunity to teach with such openness). I find Shaye to be particularly calming to listen to, but you are both so full of warmth and positivity. I've never understood the need for any particular role model (masculine/feminine/extrovert/introvert, etc.) other than to be a good human. Like you said, whoooo a person is will bubble up and come out so long as the space is provided -- no need to force anything. It's not your responsibility to educate but nevertheless you are a great service to society and I love your content. Love to you both!
Did I see somewhere that the two of you are renewing your vows? And that Amanda is making your dress, Shaye? That is going to be absolutely beautiful! I can't wait to see what you share with us.
My two sisters had all male children, I had one female child. When I saw my family "assigning gender roles to my female child and not to the male children, I did not like that. I "turned my female child loose" at least that is what I called it. I said if all the kids wash dishes then she will too, if all the kids cook then she will too if not then she will not either. ALL OR NONE I did not force a female role on her, she hung out with all the boys. She never liked dresses or make up or really anything feminine and I did not force her or shame her for it, I just told her to accept who she was and what she liked. Fast forward to today, He is now a happy trans man with a great life. I have to admit i did it just to not give into "society" but it turned out to be the best thing for my child.
I want to thank you for helping educate those of us who do not know someone personally dealing with what you have had to. I appreciate evolving as I age and learning. You help that so much and I in turn; educate my children to be appreciative of ALL people no matter what. Being true to oneself is so important. Thanks for putting unconditional love into the world.
From the UK, we have lots of friends in same sex relationships/marriage who have kids, the kids are well adjusted and have gone out into the world as great tolerant adults. The way you talk and make space for your kids to talk will see them through.
Transwoman and parent! I don’t care what others think or say, I know that a lot of parents are just concerned that a trans parent is there to pickup her 7yo daughter.. the only thing that is sad is for her 6th birthday, we invited her school friends and no one showed up, only 2 family friends with same age kids showed. It was hard for my daughter to understand why that happened knowing that other kids go to each other houses but she is never invited 🫤 I know my daughter is growing up with more “clean” and positive values than others where they are taught to avoid and hate others because of their way to see life! We are teaching her to accept herself as she wants to live, of course with some guidance that parents need to teach their kids but most importantly, to accept other whatever they are and never judge a book by its cover.. This is our experience 😊 FYI we live in NorCal!!!
Hey! This is really sad to hear. And at the same time, I know it may sound contradictory, but it can be a space of empowerment for your family. Although I cannot relate to this situation, I can relate to being singled out when I was a kid for other reasons. And it was very difficult for me as a child. But now as an adult, I look back and I know now, from talking to people from that time in my life and life experiences, that I was being singled out because I have always been an independent thinker, observer, and purpose/logic driven person. I asked a person from highschool once why I was so loathed by so many of those girls if I barely spoke to anyone and minded my own business. She said "Deyanira. They just didn't like that you weren't following them around and at their back end call ... They didn't like that you didn't do what they said to do. They weren't your leaders, as they were for the others." Man... That felt so good to hear! Very empowering 🥹 long story short. People are singling you out because you are all living true to YOURSELVES and YOUR values and YOUR truth. It's the only way progress is made. When people choose to live as kind loving beings who don't hurt others and are the best versions of themselves despite what others say or think. Keep your head held high! Sending love ❤ from Cali 🐻🌲
You two! are so intelligent and eloquent. Your voices, your lives have a powerful message. ❤❤. And the kids know they are loved, important boundaries and protection are present. Carry on my friends. I am an 85-year old woman becoming unstuck!
Religious,Christian people would rather a child be raised in a toxic heterosexual family, than in a loving same sex marriage. That's so insane to me. I truly love these type of videos. Going deep and staying honest as you bring up difficult issues. Thanks!!
I love your family so, so much! As someone who grew up in a conservative (dysfunctional) but christian household, it's been extremely hard for me to shed the toxic belief systems ingrained into my being now that I am in my own adulthood. I've always known I was bisexual, and when I was a young teen I also discovered that I was non-binary, so being sort of the "black sleep" of the family isn't easy. I am super close to my mom but still have never fully come out to her as either of those things, at least not in formal ways, and maybe even by accident. Anyway, sometimes I watch your videos wishing that I could have grown up in a family like yours where there is complete and utter acceptance and understanding. I feel like a lot of weight would be lifted off of my shoulders and I would feel free to be myself... It's so difficult but thank you for speaking out and being so open about these sorts of topics!🤍
They are helping to make it possible for other children to grow up just as you wish you had grown up like. That is wonderful beyond words. My daughter who is trans is so lovely and her wife too. She grew up without Shaye and Amanda and somehow managed to crack the shell we had put her in and is a beautiful woman. There is hope and there is always the now. Being the best you that you can be in the now. You too might have someone watching you who admires you and wishes they could be like you.
I think they will turn out just fine and I think having two women in their life is actually a positive thing in a lot of ways because it makes them more open-minded and more aware of culture diversity
Such an interesting and insightful conversation! I don't even know if I ever want to have children but it's still really interesting to hear perspectives related to parenting.
Just don’t know where to begin. All I can say is the two of you or like a couple of Rockstars you’re the best of the best keep up the good work. No one says it better than the two of you thank you.
Such an interesting discussion. It really is just about letting and supporting kids become their own authentic selves. As a parent, this is the true magic: Discovering who your kids really are as they discover it themselves, and loving them through every step of the way ❤
Oh, those poor boys. They have two loving parents who adore them. How will they ever make it through life???? Kidding. People will use "concern" to hide their hate and bigotry, but that's exactly where their "concern" comes from. Yall are amazing. ❤
Thanks for giving a balanced and honest response to those who question your family. I wish people would spend more time helping those families who struggle after divorce or are single parent families instead of questioning a family which appears to be working hard to provide a stable and supportive home for your children. Bravo to both of you!
Thank you both for such INVALUABLE insight into todays world. I am a 59 year old heterosexual woman who’s been married for 39 years. I admire you both SO much. I have been watching you for quite a few years because I LOVE to learn! I was not raised Mormon, but my best friend from high school is a devout Mormon so we have had many conversations over the years. My husband is actually a United Methodist Pastor in N. Georgia, we have 4 daughters, 3 son-in-loves, :) and 2 1/2 granddaughters. Just thank you BOTH, for open, honest, conversation about real life issues! If we all had a teachable spirit what a different world we would live in! ❤❤🏳️🌈
Great conversation! We covered this very topic of 'toxic masculinity' in a men's behaviour change program I co-facilitate for men who have used domestic violence. It's about power and control, but it's harming boys and men. Violence, self-harm and addiction have been linked to these messages about what it means to 'be a man'. The fear is instilled in our boys from a very young age. Thank you for your beautiful openness and honesty. Love from Australia!❤
So excited to click on your video! I crave this intelligent conversation! It’s like people mostly want to do what suits them, which of course is fine! Except they resist something that may be different, they then feel their way of thinking and believing is threatened! I volunteer at a pre-school and the references to gender norms is still so present! Just like with the McDonald’s kids meal question is the toy for a boy or a girl! I really thought people in general would embrace the relaxing of gender division by now! Like blending the kids clothing departments and the adult clothing departments! What’s the worst that would happen? Thank you for making this video! Much love from a Nana in CT!
They have two excellent people who cover them with love, trust, support and understanding, it is excellent, exactly what a person needs to be happy, congratulations moms
What a smart, interesting conversation -- I love how you frame it with the wide lens of looking back and worldwide. First step of healing is realizing the harmful framework.
Many men are still taught to hate their emotions to the point that it turns to anger for having feelings at all. That's not a healthy coping mechanism, and has nothing to do with being more feminine. Men need to be allowed to express their emotions in a healthy manner without judgement and anyone who says differently should just keep it to their damn selves. And as Shaye says, just let people be their authentic selves. We all experience life differently, and I cannot for the life of me understand why people waste so much time and energy being hateful. How is someone being themselves hurting you? Fear is the mind killer, my dudes.
Nothing shows more strength to your children than living out your purpose in this life even when that means transcending the limits of what had been the “norm”. Funny that those same people questioning your boys growing up in your family, don’t see all the people who are currently in therapy who grew up in the idolized traditional homes. Because we are much more than these roles we play. It is not cookie cutter. When you can trust yourself, you can trust others. People who are living to please others, cannot trust themselves and then can’t trust others. Just be you🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🌈🌈🌈😎😎😎
Thank you very much for your intensiv talk. I really enjoyed it. In my personal opinion the young generation doesn't perceive any problems in changing the sex or the gender. So for me as a transgender teacher, society already has changed, at least in Germany. Good luck in your boys and your daughter Nicole
Ok, aside from the awesome content....I need to know where you get your clothes??!! Do you make most of them or is there a place you like to shop? I love Shaye's 1 piece jumpers and Amanda's long flowy dresses!!
Oh your ‘poor boys’ have two loving parents who are brave enough to live their authentic lives and teach them that they can live authentically too. Your ‘poor boys’ will grow up feeling loved and supported and learning to respect women. The one thing harming your kids is people telling them that anything is wrong with their family.
Great thoughts and insight from both of you, as always! Thank you both for addressing these concerns with such thoughtfulness. I completely agree with your perspective. In our culture, there's this widespread idea that young boys require a "masculine role model" to grow into successful, moral men. But I think this is a reductive way of understanding how people develop, as it assumes that individuals fit neatly into binary categories of masculine or feminine. The reality is that people express their gender in a variety of ways, and no two individuals who are considered "masculine" express it identically. Furthermore, the argument that boys need a "masculine" role model often seems to be made in bad faith. For instance, someone who holds this view would likely not accept a butch lesbian who engages in stereotypically masculine activities-such as chopping firewood, hunting, or fixing cars-as a suitable "masculine role model." This reveals that the issue isn't really about exhibiting traditional masculine traits, but rather about upholding cisheteronormative ideals. As a non-binary (specifically agender) person, I never had a non-binary role model growing up to show me how to navigate my identity. However, that didn’t stop me from learning valuable life skills and lessons from the cis people in my life. My gender identity may not align with theirs, but I've still grown into the person I am today, thanks to the diverse influences around me.
Notwithstanding the seriousness of the vlog, I just have to comment on your fantastic "tree". I am from Scotland where Halloween is fairly low key and would love if you could even do a "shorts"to show us your decorations. ❤ your vlogs raising awareness of transgender families.
Can’t think of a finer couple to help others understand we can be our authentic selves. What is of most importance as you explained, is how love is at the foundation. I sincerely hope you continue to share what you are and have learned, it really makes a difference. Thank you!👍💕💫
Your kids are loved, that's what's important! I hate that people are "worried"about kids that have 2 parents that live then so much❤❤❤ love you Shaye and Amanda❤
As a bisexual woman, after leaving the Mormon church I sought to teach my children to be authentic, live their truth, and don't listen to others telling you what that might mean. Only YOU can determine that. That was 10 years ago. My children are adults now. Do you know what they tell me that they value most about my parenting style after leaving Mormonism when they were growing up? I let them live authentically and just embrace them for who they are. I taught them to be themselves! Trust me, you're kids are going to be WAY more adjusted than the people's kids who "worry" about your boys.
Life is not a one size fits all type of thing so that's why conversations about life between parents and children are so powerful. Your kids are listening to you. I think it's great that you have conversations with your kids so they know you support them in being their authentic selves.
Omg worried about your boys? You are the most loving and caring parents! People are so ignorant. You don’t need a father to have a loving home. So crazy! There are so many children who would pray to have parents like you.
It is wonderful to simply see couples that are in love with one another. That in essence, transcends to their children. People are people regardless of being transgender, heterosexual, bisexual, or homosexual. Love is love. I grew up to accepting people the way you would want to be accepted and I also raised my son that way. Children are resilient and adapt to change very easily. I commend the two of you for being so upfront and honest. The society is ever changing and people just need to a accept it and embrace it
Plenty of people...men.....are raised by single mothers; many times being better for it. Being a man doesn't mean you don't feel or have emotions. My 1st ex husband would let my son wear salmon shorts. I bought him a bright pink shirt that said "Real men wear pink!" Petty?! Meh....making my point heard.
Such an interesting and wonderful conversation. On the one hand, I love the incredibly intelligent way you discuss these issues. On the other hand, Omgosh! … nice Halloween tree!!!! 🧡🎃💀🎃🧡
I am trans myself and struggled with it until coming out in my 50s. Unfortunately my 30 year marriage didn't survive the transition. I love that you guys are still together and speaking out as a team. Thank you for showing it's possible. What would you say to couples that are struggling as one partner comes out?
I just love you girls!!! I feel so represented by you. I stared transition at 35. I’m lesbian and me an my girlfriend would love to adopt. Unfortunately here in Peru is imposible for lgtb couples but watching your videos give me a lot of hope that I made the right decision about living as myself. Again I love you and wish you the best for all the eternity for you and your family
you are such a beautiful couple... the focus of so many when it comes to a diverse family structure is a few factors (in my opinion).... for some its fear, fear of the unknown, but also as you state, they believe that the family structure should be man/woman, masculine/feminine or it is not considered a "proper" family structure. The reality is that the family structure has never been that way fully except when forced by societal expectations. The same goes for a solo parent, all of a sudden people say that children will not be raised right, that they need a male role model etc. But in fact, what is most important is those children are loved, no matter the family structure, are safe, and feel secure, whether that looks like a family home forever, or in a campervan...the security is within knowing that your family is always there for you. So its time people stopped considering what "society" considers the norm.... and start understanding the values are deeper than that.
I grew up with a single mother, I lacked the love of a father. I was finding love in the wrong places. I absolutely needed the protective and fatherly aspect in my life.
There are things that kids need from both parents and I can promise you how things can go if they don’t get what they need from both parents. They may be fine now and OK but the long-term in the future may not be the same. And yes people say kids have it bad with a mom and dad and while that can be true I’ve seen the other side too❤
Like others have said, your boys will turn out to be fine as teens and adults. Two parents in the household that love each other and love their children, makes it a better life for everyone.
I want to say that as a T woman who grew up in the '90's I never wanted to see people having to come out later in life (after choosing to have a typical family : 2 parents and children). It made my heart so happy for Shaye having such a brilliant supporter in Amanda, when I found your channel. Your children are blessed to have a super well spoken and smart mum in Amanda. Shaye has a unique perspective to share that their understanding of gender will/is better and more accurate. No offence to the commenters but Shaye with Amanda is going to teach them better on how to relate to women respectfully and hopefully enjoy healthier relationships with other humans(esp. with women) better than a stereotypical cis man could. I must apologise to Shaye I dont know what your children call you, as I am a viewer primarily interested in the non familial content. I hope the way I referred to you wasnt offensive. I really appreciate your channel and Ive shared with both exmormon/ queer friends to ensure your content is discovered by both communities. As a Canadian Im terrified to go to the USA so What you ladies are doing is important for humanising the queer experience ESPECIALLY in these scary times! Blessings to you folks.
I think the concept of a role model is more of a conservative idea, wherein gendered traits and behaviours are more rigidly defined. But the idea of the role model, although reinforced by endless repetition, is in itself unexamined. Truly, we all want the same for our children and those we love: health, love, happiness, confidence, success, etc. Growing up in a liberal home environment, I understood from the out that my parents are not me. I didn’t model my personality on my father because he was a male, and I was a male. I could see from the start we had very little in common in terms of personality/interests. All that I did respect about him had nothing to do with his being manly. I respect the same in both my parents: their love, their acceptance, their loyalty to each other, their willingness to come to my aid and to listen to me when I needed them. Anybody of any gender can embody these traits. Likewise, anybody has the potential to mess up or to be a neglectful or abusive parent. My dad is good at a lot of typically male stuff that I’m not good at, and I’m good at stuff he isn’t, and we’re okay with that. We can learn from each other. The important thing is that we love, trust, and appreciate each other. Both my parents have been strong for me, and if I only ever had one of them, I still would have been me, and I wouldn’t have wanted for anything. At minimum, we need love and care, and if we have that from a parent/guardian, everything else we can get from friends and community.
It's really great that you all were willing to address this. And as you stated, I dont think a lack of masculine or feminine parental figures is what matters, as oppose having loving parents in general regardless of gender is. Having said that, i dont see the world as being controlled by a mysterious patriarchy. If anything, things are more matriarchal and feminine than ever before in history. Men suffer among women, so in my eyes there is no patriarchy, just humanity
I think all it takes is a look at the results of our patriarchal society to realize that a much stronger feminine influence would not be a bad thing. Our kids (now well into their forties) are very loving and compassionate people, I feel largely because I am, what in my day would have probably been called an effeminate man (I now happily identify as genderqueer). Both are in traditional relationships and we have three wonderful grandkids.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” 🙏🏻
I have been following you two for a long time. I now Watch your videos to inform myself. I don’t want to be ignorant thinking if I don’t know it’s not right. Side note, I miss your Halloween/Christmas decorating videos!
Having the two of you as parents will lead to amazing children. They are going to change the world. I would be more concerned about keeping patriarchal bigots away from them.
Yet another high qua,ity video from the "Great Scotts." I fi d Amanda's discussion of the family studies interesting. Question : if the studies had found that there were significant consequences associated with queer families, would that have changed how Amanda reacted to Shaye's transition? Would Amanda have doubled down and committed to beating those negative findings or changed her initial reactions?
I've never known any kids who were effed up by having a trans parent, or two moms, or a single mom, or a single dad (yes, I do know a few), or were being raised by their grandparents, or one grandparent. I know more than one person who was effed up, and in therapy, and unable to have a serious romantic relationship because their dad was a terrible person. Or both parents were terrible people.
My brother, sister and i grew up without a female role model after our mum died when we were 9 (brother), 5 (me) and 4 (sister). We all turned out fine.....actually, i bet homophobes would say the reason I'm a lesbian is because i didn't have a mum haha. My sister isn't gay though so that argument doesn't stand up. People don't worry about your sons, it's just an excuse to spew hate.
I am a Christian Conservative who watches your channel and could care less how you raise your children. They’re YOUR children, no one else’s and no one should be worried about it or make it their business unless YOU make it their business. I may not agree or participate in your way of life but I have zero hate and I hope and believe you would be the same way about my own life. It’s be nice if others would adopt this way of thinking. You can watch, take in, listen and go about your day. You don’t need to be rude, make rude comments and give advice - goes both ways. Do better people. (I’m talking to the ones who are rude to you and your family, and kids!)
I think it would be really cool for you guys to have your own reality TV show. You could think about contacting TLC or one of those networks to see if they would be interested in a reality TV show with you, if that's something that you thought you wanted.
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Thanks and I just subbed and love you both 🫂
It’s great tp 🧻 and the wrappers are pretty.
Just received my TP and Dream cloths. I like the softness of the paper and the wrapping on each roll. Looks elegant. I contacted customer service with a question and they were great! 👏👏👏Thanks!
I had the most lovely thing happen during a daycare pick up for a kid I nannied. A random three year old asked if I was the kid’s other mum. It was so sweet to realise that they didn’t automatically assume I was the nanny, and already understood that not all families were like theirs.
You two ladies rock!! Great vlog! Your kids are going to be great people. They are being taught to be loving and compassionate. And to be themselves regardless of what that looks like. ❤❤
They will be fine they have two loving parents that love them❤❤❤
People aren't " worried" about your boys. They use the word worry to justify their beliefs.
They "worry" to try to justify their attempt to change someone else beliefs, and validate theirs as "superior".
@@pattylyman7907 I agree 💯%
Yes indeed. You’re exactly right. They don’t care about any member of this beautiful family. They just want to spew hate.
I love Amanda bringing the research! Shaye just admiring her as she speaks is just the sweetest, most supportive. ❤thank you for sharing what you’ve learned.
I love everything about your videos - the editing, the script, the pure and genuine love I see in your eyes, the way you speak, the beautiful family you are. You two are so elegant and powerful, while also radiating a sense of calm and complementing each other perfectly. I also transitioned after starting a relationship with my wife, and I am fortunate to have her by my side. Seeing beautiful love stories like yours gives me even more hope that the world is becoming better for us, trans people and non-cisnormative families. Thank you for letting us experience a little of the beautiful world of Amanda and Shaye!
I am the mother of a trans daughter & delight in your postings. The courage you have by sharing this journey with us all, creates a place for learning and understanding. Love is the true strength in parenting, shaping our children beyond believed gender rolls. I look forward to your next post. I always enjoy them and learn from them. xxxx
You two are such amazing examples of patience and understanding (where I am so drained by the mean-spirited comments, you see an opportunity to teach with such openness). I find Shaye to be particularly calming to listen to, but you are both so full of warmth and positivity. I've never understood the need for any particular role model (masculine/feminine/extrovert/introvert, etc.) other than to be a good human. Like you said, whoooo a person is will bubble up and come out so long as the space is provided -- no need to force anything. It's not your responsibility to educate but nevertheless you are a great service to society and I love your content. Love to you both!
Did I see somewhere that the two of you are renewing your vows? And that Amanda is making your dress, Shaye? That is going to be absolutely beautiful! I can't wait to see what you share with us.
My two sisters had all male children, I had one female child. When I saw my family "assigning gender roles to my female child and not to the male children, I did not like that. I "turned my female child loose" at least that is what I called it. I said if all the kids wash dishes then she will too, if all the kids cook then she will too if not then she will not either. ALL OR NONE I did not force a female role on her, she hung out with all the boys. She never liked dresses or make up or really anything feminine and I did not force her or shame her for it, I just told her to accept who she was and what she liked. Fast forward to today, He is now a happy trans man with a great life. I have to admit i did it just to not give into "society" but it turned out to be the best thing for my child.
I want to thank you for helping educate those of us who do not know someone personally dealing with what you have had to. I appreciate evolving as I age and learning. You help that so much and I in turn; educate my children to be appreciative of ALL people no matter what. Being true to oneself is so important. Thanks for putting unconditional love into the world.
From the UK, we have lots of friends in same sex relationships/marriage who have kids, the kids are well adjusted and have gone out into the world as great tolerant adults. The way you talk and make space for your kids to talk will see them through.
Transwoman and parent! I don’t care what others think or say, I know that a lot of parents are just concerned that a trans parent is there to pickup her 7yo daughter.. the only thing that is sad is for her 6th birthday, we invited her school friends and no one showed up, only 2 family friends with same age kids showed. It was hard for my daughter to understand why that happened knowing that other kids go to each other houses but she is never invited 🫤
I know my daughter is growing up with more “clean” and positive values than others where they are taught to avoid and hate others because of their way to see life! We are teaching her to accept herself as she wants to live, of course with some guidance that parents need to teach their kids but most importantly, to accept other whatever they are and never judge a book by its cover.. This is our experience 😊
FYI we live in NorCal!!!
Hey! This is really sad to hear. And at the same time, I know it may sound contradictory, but it can be a space of empowerment for your family. Although I cannot relate to this situation, I can relate to being singled out when I was a kid for other reasons. And it was very difficult for me as a child. But now as an adult, I look back and I know now, from talking to people from that time in my life and life experiences, that I was being singled out because I have always been an independent thinker, observer, and purpose/logic driven person. I asked a person from highschool once why I was so loathed by so many of those girls if I barely spoke to anyone and minded my own business. She said "Deyanira. They just didn't like that you weren't following them around and at their back end call ... They didn't like that you didn't do what they said to do. They weren't your leaders, as they were for the others." Man... That felt so good to hear! Very empowering 🥹 long story short. People are singling you out because you are all living true to YOURSELVES and YOUR values and YOUR truth. It's the only way progress is made. When people choose to live as kind loving beings who don't hurt others and are the best versions of themselves despite what others say or think. Keep your head held high! Sending love ❤ from Cali 🐻🌲
You two! are so intelligent and eloquent. Your voices, your lives have a powerful message. ❤❤. And the kids know they are loved, important boundaries and protection are present. Carry on my friends. I am an 85-year old woman becoming unstuck!
Religious,Christian people would rather a child be raised in a toxic heterosexual family, than in a loving same sex marriage.
That's so insane to me. I truly love these type of videos. Going deep and staying honest as you bring up difficult issues. Thanks!!
They are not a same sex couple tho
@@KatMoore-ih6mw yes Kat, It was a general statement. Not about them.
@@KatMoore-ih6mw Sure sweetie, sure.
@@KatMoore-ih6mwbut they are a same gender couple🫡
@Cptkirk1315 well one is a gender identity, I'm not sure why that's considered the same.
I love your family so, so much! As someone who grew up in a conservative (dysfunctional) but christian household, it's been extremely hard for me to shed the toxic belief systems ingrained into my being now that I am in my own adulthood. I've always known I was bisexual, and when I was a young teen I also discovered that I was non-binary, so being sort of the "black sleep" of the family isn't easy. I am super close to my mom but still have never fully come out to her as either of those things, at least not in formal ways, and maybe even by accident. Anyway, sometimes I watch your videos wishing that I could have grown up in a family like yours where there is complete and utter acceptance and understanding. I feel like a lot of weight would be lifted off of my shoulders and I would feel free to be myself... It's so difficult but thank you for speaking out and being so open about these sorts of topics!🤍
They are helping to make it possible for other children to grow up just as you wish you had grown up like. That is wonderful beyond words. My daughter who is trans is so lovely and her wife too. She grew up without Shaye and Amanda and somehow managed to crack the shell we had put her in and is a beautiful woman. There is hope and there is always the now. Being the best you that you can be in the now. You too might have someone watching you who admires you and wishes they could be like you.
@@Infiniteavatar i am so happy for your daughter, what a lovely gift that is. thank you for your kind words, i appreciate you.
@@jakehoon69 I appreciate you too! 😎
You both are glowing!
As a fellow academic and researcher I love the way you’re going about these questions
Yes! This! Thank you.
I think they will turn out just fine and I think having two women in their life is actually a positive thing in a lot of ways because it makes them more open-minded and more aware of culture diversity
Nah
Nah
You two amaze me. I’ve learned so much!!! Thank you for your transparency.
Such an interesting and insightful conversation! I don't even know if I ever want to have children but it's still really interesting to hear perspectives related to parenting.
Thank you both for sharing. I’m in my 60s and things have changed so much but want to learn and luv ya both
I remember your coming story as a preteen.😢 just fake it till you make it, act the part till you be the part. So, glad for you.❤
Amanda and Shaye,great episode! Transparency, love and honesty is all your kids need and I know you give them that and much more! TY❤
Just don’t know where to begin. All I can say is the two of you or like a couple of Rockstars you’re the best of the best keep up the good work. No one says it better than the two of you thank you.
Oh my god. This explanation is just so powerful. I adore you both so much.
Your kids see nothing but love ❤️!! they will be fine ❤❤❤❤sending big hugs 🤗
Such an interesting discussion. It really is just about letting and supporting kids become their own authentic selves. As a parent, this is the true magic: Discovering who your kids really are as they discover it themselves, and loving them through every step of the way ❤
I agree 1,000 percent! Thank you!❤
Kids don't care about those roles. Kids care that they are loved and cared for. Everything else is bullshit.
Oh, those poor boys. They have two loving parents who adore them. How will they ever make it through life????
Kidding. People will use "concern" to hide their hate and bigotry, but that's exactly where their "concern" comes from.
Yall are amazing. ❤
What a fun sponsor! Also wowza y’all grew up with a LOT. Good job showing your kids something different.
Thanks for giving a balanced and honest response to those who question your family. I wish people would spend more time helping those families who struggle after divorce or are single parent families instead of questioning a family which appears to be working hard to provide a stable and supportive home for your children. Bravo to both of you!
Thank you both for such INVALUABLE insight into todays world. I am a 59 year old heterosexual woman who’s been married for 39 years. I admire you both SO much. I have been watching you for quite a few years because I LOVE to learn! I was not raised Mormon, but my best friend from high school is a devout Mormon so we have had many conversations over the years. My husband is actually a United Methodist Pastor in N. Georgia, we have 4 daughters, 3 son-in-loves, :) and 2 1/2 granddaughters.
Just thank you BOTH, for open, honest, conversation about real life issues! If we all had a teachable spirit what a different world we would live in! ❤❤🏳️🌈
I love the ad. 😂 It feels like a spoof lol.
It's great!
The incorporation of the sponsor into the video topic 👏😘
Great conversation! We covered this very topic of 'toxic masculinity' in a men's behaviour change program I co-facilitate for men who have used domestic violence. It's about power and control, but it's harming boys and men. Violence, self-harm and addiction have been linked to these messages about what it means to 'be a man'. The fear is instilled in our boys from a very young age. Thank you for your beautiful openness and honesty. Love from Australia!❤
So excited to click on your video! I crave this intelligent conversation! It’s like people mostly want to do what suits them, which of course is fine! Except they resist something that may be different, they then feel their way of thinking and believing is threatened! I volunteer at a pre-school and the references to gender norms is still so present! Just like with the McDonald’s kids meal question is the toy for a boy or a girl! I really thought people in general would embrace the relaxing of gender division by now! Like blending the kids clothing departments and the adult clothing departments! What’s the worst that would happen? Thank you for making this video! Much love from a Nana in CT!
Lovely couple and family. Thank you for the conversation. Your children must be so proud of your authenticity.
A Halloween tree? That's awesome!
Amanda is an amazing decorator. I would be a better one if I could afford certain products.
They have two excellent people who cover them with love, trust, support and understanding, it is excellent, exactly what a person needs to be happy, congratulations moms
You two are doing excellent work. Keep inspiring the community
What a smart, interesting conversation -- I love how you frame it with the wide lens of looking back and worldwide. First step of healing is realizing the harmful framework.
Many men are still taught to hate their emotions to the point that it turns to anger for having feelings at all. That's not a healthy coping mechanism, and has nothing to do with being more feminine. Men need to be allowed to express their emotions in a healthy manner without judgement and anyone who says differently should just keep it to their damn selves. And as Shaye says, just let people be their authentic selves. We all experience life differently, and I cannot for the life of me understand why people waste so much time and energy being hateful. How is someone being themselves hurting you? Fear is the mind killer, my dudes.
Nothing shows more strength to your children than living out your purpose in this life even when that means transcending the limits of what had been the “norm”.
Funny that those same people questioning your boys growing up in your family, don’t see all the people who are currently in therapy who grew up in the idolized traditional homes. Because we are much more than these roles we play. It is not cookie cutter.
When you can trust yourself, you can trust others. People who are living to please others, cannot trust themselves and then can’t trust others. Just be you🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🌈🌈🌈😎😎😎
Yes, great conversation!
The longer I live, the more I believe that humans would be much much much more humane to each other if there were no religions.
Thank you very much for your intensiv talk. I really enjoyed it. In my personal opinion the young generation doesn't perceive any problems in changing the sex or the gender. So for me as a transgender teacher, society already has changed, at least in Germany. Good luck in your boys and your daughter Nicole
It's NOT our job to worry about YOUR children! You're doing your job, so people need to respect boundaries!
As long as they are loved your children will turn out just fine! I absolutely love the way you two approach these things! Keep up the great work
My admiration for you both just continues to grow.
Ok, aside from the awesome content....I need to know where you get your clothes??!! Do you make most of them or is there a place you like to shop? I love Shaye's 1 piece jumpers and Amanda's long flowy dresses!!
I know Amanda sews a lot so maybe she made her dress...
This was such a delight. So positive and open. I love your ideas and the points that you brought up. As always, I love and support you in my heart.❤
Oh your ‘poor boys’ have two loving parents who are brave enough to live their authentic lives and teach them that they can live authentically too.
Your ‘poor boys’ will grow up feeling loved and supported and learning to respect women.
The one thing harming your kids is people telling them that anything is wrong with their family.
Great thoughts and insight from both of you, as always! Thank you both for addressing these concerns with such thoughtfulness. I completely agree with your perspective.
In our culture, there's this widespread idea that young boys require a "masculine role model" to grow into successful, moral men. But I think this is a reductive way of understanding how people develop, as it assumes that individuals fit neatly into binary categories of masculine or feminine. The reality is that people express their gender in a variety of ways, and no two individuals who are considered "masculine" express it identically.
Furthermore, the argument that boys need a "masculine" role model often seems to be made in bad faith. For instance, someone who holds this view would likely not accept a butch lesbian who engages in stereotypically masculine activities-such as chopping firewood, hunting, or fixing cars-as a suitable "masculine role model." This reveals that the issue isn't really about exhibiting traditional masculine traits, but rather about upholding cisheteronormative ideals.
As a non-binary (specifically agender) person, I never had a non-binary role model growing up to show me how to navigate my identity. However, that didn’t stop me from learning valuable life skills and lessons from the cis people in my life. My gender identity may not align with theirs, but I've still grown into the person I am today, thanks to the diverse influences around me.
Great subject. Im positive your children will be fine
Me too
Notwithstanding the seriousness of the vlog, I just have to comment on your fantastic "tree". I am from Scotland where Halloween is fairly low key and would love if you could even do a "shorts"to show us your decorations. ❤ your vlogs raising awareness of transgender families.
You two are soulmates and that is a very beautiful thing! God Bless you both!🤍❤️💕
Can’t think of a finer couple to help others understand we can be our authentic selves. What is of most importance as you explained, is how love is at the foundation. I sincerely hope you continue to share what you are and have learned, it really makes a difference. Thank you!👍💕💫
Your kids are loved, that's what's important! I hate that people are "worried"about kids that have 2 parents that live then so much❤❤❤ love you Shaye and Amanda❤
Love you both!
As a bisexual woman, after leaving the Mormon church I sought to teach my children to be authentic, live their truth, and don't listen to others telling you what that might mean. Only YOU can determine that. That was 10 years ago. My children are adults now. Do you know what they tell me that they value most about my parenting style after leaving Mormonism when they were growing up? I let them live authentically and just embrace them for who they are. I taught them to be themselves! Trust me, you're kids are going to be WAY more adjusted than the people's kids who "worry" about your boys.
Life is not a one size fits all type of thing so that's why conversations about life between parents and children are so powerful. Your kids are listening to you.
I think it's great that you have conversations with your kids so they know you support them in being their authentic selves.
I love your dress Amanda ❤
Omg worried about your boys? You are the most loving and caring parents! People are so ignorant. You don’t need a father to have a loving home. So crazy! There are so many children who would pray to have parents like you.
They're not actually worried. It's an excuse to try to change their beliefs.
It is wonderful to simply see couples that are in love with one another. That in essence, transcends to their children. People are people regardless of being transgender, heterosexual, bisexual, or homosexual. Love is love. I grew up to accepting people the way you would want to be accepted and I also raised my son that way. Children are resilient and adapt to change very easily. I commend the two of you for being so upfront and honest. The society is ever changing and people just need to a accept it and embrace it
Plenty of people...men.....are raised by single mothers; many times being better for it. Being a man doesn't mean you don't feel or have emotions. My 1st ex husband would let my son wear salmon shorts. I bought him a bright pink shirt that said "Real men wear pink!" Petty?! Meh....making my point heard.
I loved that product placement 😂
Thank you for this discussion.
You are such a beautiful couple and family. Keep on being you
I love your family so much!
Such an interesting and wonderful conversation. On the one hand, I love the incredibly intelligent way you discuss these issues. On the other hand, Omgosh! … nice Halloween tree!!!! 🧡🎃💀🎃🧡
I am trans myself and struggled with it until coming out in my 50s. Unfortunately my 30 year marriage didn't survive the transition. I love that you guys are still together and speaking out as a team. Thank you for showing it's possible. What would you say to couples that are struggling as one partner comes out?
Thank you for being yourselves!!
As Trans people don't care what other people think, does that mean that other people can not care what they think too? .
I like that reciprocity.
I just love you girls!!! I feel so represented by you. I stared transition at 35. I’m lesbian and me an my girlfriend would love to adopt. Unfortunately here in Peru is imposible for lgtb couples but watching your videos give me a lot of hope that I made the right decision about living as myself. Again I love you and wish you the best for all the eternity for you and your family
Y'all are awesome moms! 💖💖
This is such an excellent conversation. Thank you for teaching us.
you are such a beautiful couple... the focus of so many when it comes to a diverse family structure is a few factors (in my opinion).... for some its fear, fear of the unknown, but also as you state, they believe that the family structure should be man/woman, masculine/feminine or it is not considered a "proper" family structure. The reality is that the family structure has never been that way fully except when forced by societal expectations. The same goes for a solo parent, all of a sudden people say that children will not be raised right, that they need a male role model etc. But in fact, what is most important is those children are loved, no matter the family structure, are safe, and feel secure, whether that looks like a family home forever, or in a campervan...the security is within knowing that your family is always there for you. So its time people stopped considering what "society" considers the norm.... and start understanding the values are deeper than that.
I am a single mom to a 15 year old son. His dad hasn’t chosen to see him since he was 3. I think he is fine. And your boys will be too 😌
I grew up with a single mother, I lacked the love of a father. I was finding love in the wrong places. I absolutely needed the protective and fatherly aspect in my life.
Not their case at all.
You lacked two stable parents and came from a broken home unfortunately. This is alot different than these two and their family
Not to be rude but that's not their problem
There are things that kids need from both parents and I can promise you how things can go if they don’t get what they need from both parents. They may be fine now and OK but the long-term in the future may not be the same.
And yes people say kids have it bad with a mom and dad and while that can be true I’ve seen the other side too❤
Like others have said, your boys will turn out to be fine as teens and adults. Two parents in the household that love each other and love their children, makes it a better life for everyone.
I want to say that as a T woman who grew up in the '90's I never wanted to see people having to come out later in life (after choosing to have a typical family : 2 parents and children). It made my heart so happy for Shaye having such a brilliant supporter in Amanda, when I found your channel. Your children are blessed to have a super well spoken and smart mum in Amanda. Shaye has a unique perspective to share that their understanding of gender will/is better and more accurate. No offence to the commenters but Shaye with Amanda is going to teach them better on how to relate to women respectfully and hopefully enjoy healthier relationships with other humans(esp. with women) better than a stereotypical cis man could. I must apologise to Shaye I dont know what your children call you, as I am a viewer primarily interested in the non familial content. I hope the way I referred to you wasnt offensive. I really appreciate your channel and Ive shared with both exmormon/ queer friends to ensure your content is discovered by both communities. As a Canadian Im terrified to go to the USA so What you ladies are doing is important for humanising the queer experience ESPECIALLY in these scary times! Blessings to you folks.
I think the concept of a role model is more of a conservative idea, wherein gendered traits and behaviours are more rigidly defined. But the idea of the role model, although reinforced by endless repetition, is in itself unexamined. Truly, we all want the same for our children and those we love: health, love, happiness, confidence, success, etc. Growing up in a liberal home environment, I understood from the out that my parents are not me. I didn’t model my personality on my father because he was a male, and I was a male. I could see from the start we had very little in common in terms of personality/interests. All that I did respect about him had nothing to do with his being manly. I respect the same in both my parents: their love, their acceptance, their loyalty to each other, their willingness to come to my aid and to listen to me when I needed them. Anybody of any gender can embody these traits. Likewise, anybody has the potential to mess up or to be a neglectful or abusive parent. My dad is good at a lot of typically male stuff that I’m not good at, and I’m good at stuff he isn’t, and we’re okay with that. We can learn from each other. The important thing is that we love, trust, and appreciate each other. Both my parents have been strong for me, and if I only ever had one of them, I still would have been me, and I wouldn’t have wanted for anything. At minimum, we need love and care, and if we have that from a parent/guardian, everything else we can get from friends and community.
Great discussion.
It's really great that you all were willing to address this. And as you stated, I dont think a lack of masculine or feminine parental figures is what matters, as oppose having loving parents in general regardless of gender is. Having said that, i dont see the world as being controlled by a mysterious patriarchy. If anything, things are more matriarchal and feminine than ever before in history. Men suffer among women, so in my eyes there is no patriarchy, just humanity
I think all it takes is a look at the results of our patriarchal society to realize that a much stronger feminine influence would not be a bad thing. Our kids (now well into their forties) are very loving and compassionate people, I feel largely because I am, what in my day would have probably been called an effeminate man (I now happily identify as genderqueer). Both are in traditional relationships and we have three wonderful grandkids.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” 🙏🏻
Shayes path is amazing God is with her
I have been following you two for a long time. I now Watch your videos to inform myself. I don’t want to be ignorant thinking if I don’t know it’s not right. Side note, I miss your Halloween/Christmas decorating videos!
Having the two of you as parents will lead to amazing children. They are going to change the world. I would be more concerned about keeping patriarchal bigots away from them.
Yet another high qua,ity video from the "Great Scotts." I fi d Amanda's discussion of the family studies interesting. Question : if the studies had found that there were significant consequences associated with queer families, would that have changed how Amanda reacted to Shaye's transition? Would Amanda have doubled down and committed to beating those negative findings or changed her initial reactions?
That dress Shaye🔥
We are surrounded by patriarchy it is nice not have it the household.
I've never known any kids who were effed up by having a trans parent, or two moms, or a single mom, or a single dad (yes, I do know a few), or were being raised by their grandparents, or one grandparent. I know more than one person who was effed up, and in therapy, and unable to have a serious romantic relationship because their dad was a terrible person. Or both parents were terrible people.
My brother, sister and i grew up without a female role model after our mum died when we were 9 (brother), 5 (me) and 4 (sister). We all turned out fine.....actually, i bet homophobes would say the reason I'm a lesbian is because i didn't have a mum haha. My sister isn't gay though so that argument doesn't stand up.
People don't worry about your sons, it's just an excuse to spew hate.
Love you both! please note there is a typo in your title 🥲 feel free to delete this comment when rectified ☺️
Thank you ♥️
I am a Christian Conservative who watches your channel and could care less how you raise your children. They’re YOUR children, no one else’s and no one should be worried about it or make it their business unless YOU make it their business. I may not agree or participate in your way of life but I have zero hate and I hope and believe you would be the same way about my own life. It’s be nice if others would adopt this way of thinking. You can watch, take in, listen and go about your day. You don’t need to be rude, make rude comments and give advice - goes both ways. Do better people. (I’m talking to the ones who are rude to you and your family, and kids!)
Sponsorship game is strong!! 😂👌😍
I think it would be really cool for you guys to have your own reality TV show. You could think about contacting TLC or one of those networks to see if they would be interested in a reality TV show with you, if that's something that you thought you wanted.