Thanksgiving was Hard, My Soul is Crushed
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- Опубликовано: 15 окт 2024
- P.O. Box
Jenny Appleford or Kyle Appleford
7211 Haven Ave, Unit E-407
Rancho Cucamonga, CA 91701
Kyle’s Channel:
/ @kyleapple9702
INSTAGRAM: jenny_appleford
INSTAGRAM: kyoooooapple
FACEBOOK: Our Brave Jenny
For business inquiries: veganapplefords@gmail.com or kyleapple66@gmail.com
DIAGNOSIS:
March 19th, 2021 Stage IIIA Non Small Cell Lung Cancer (Non-Smoking)
February 2022 Stage IV Non Small Cell Lung Cancer (spreading to Brain, and other parts of lung and lymph nodes)
Gene Mutation EGFR with Exon 20 Insertion
TREATMENTS: Received or currently Receiving
2021: 8 Rounds of Chemotherapy (Carboplatin and Paclitaxel) with 30 concurrent radiation treatments to chest and lung
Failed Immunotherapy directly after Chemo and Radiation (Durvalumab, 1 round)
2022: Chemotherapy
10 rounds of Chemotherapy (Carboplatin, Alimta, and Avastin)
6 with Carboplatin, 4 without
Targeted Brain Radiation (Completed)
Most Recent Treatment plan, prior to passing:
Whole Brain and Spine Proton Therapy (Radiation) 13 sessions
Clinical Trial Medication NOLA
The purpose of my channel is to document my cancer journey to look back on, and/or help anyone else going through anything similar. It is also to potentially help loved ones supporting those who are in this fight as well. This is also an easy way to update a lot of people at once. My main goal is to have footage of this journey for my husband and children to look back on. I originally created this channel as a sort of video diary for my
family.
Thank you so much for following along on this journey. Your love and support help me so much.
No one knows the finality of grief unless you’ve been there. I’ve been there three times close family , young baby , 21 year son & husband. You are doing well as can be expected , one has to cope the only way you can , day by day , minute by minute. Thankfully Ellis & Winnie will carry you through . Sure toughest journey in life . Let family surround you . One day at a time . Jenny would be so proud of you all ,such a beautiful wife and mum . Love to you all x
(((hugs)))
I'm so so sorry for the loss of your family members, everyone's journey is so different and I hope you are looking after yourself as best you can
I can’t even imagine what you have gone through. I can feel your strength through this message. Your post will help many people.
❤
So sorry for the losses you went through. I also know loss. I lost my husband of 33 years suddenly of a heart attack. I also lost my 26 year old son
Dear Kyle....I am a death doula and often journey with grieving families. Grief is a monster. But it does get smaller over time. Right now you are full of grief, over time you will grow around the grief. It will never leave but it will be tolerable. Have faith that this pain will lessen and joyous memories will take the lead. My thoughts are with you and your children Kyle. Sending strength and support from a distance.
That was a very thoughtful explanation of what lies ahead and very well said. The world needs more people like you to help with navigating grief. We all experience it eventually if we live long enough.
I navigate grief with people. I was once ashamed of my vulnerability and tears until I learned in therapy it is actually leaning into the grief that is necessary for allowing the healing to occur. I left another comment, but lost it! Perhaps it is meant to be.
KYLE - please cut yourself some slack about being strong. If you need to be alone - let Winnie and Ellis be cared for by a well trusted relative &/or friend who will support your kids’ grief when you need a time out. Please believe me … I’ve worked for hospice, and wrote a thesis on grief & bereavement. PLEASE DON’T FEEL GUILTY ABOUT TAKING ALONE TIME!! You’ll be a much more effective Daddy if you’re able to have your own process. So many people love you. I hope you’ll do some research on childhood loss & bereavement. You’re proactive … I have such hope you’ll be able to be alone to really let it all out. You will be honoring your wife, and teaching Ellis & Winnie it’s OK to grieve the loss of their one of a kind Mommy. Please … your true feelings on display will STRENGTHEN and TEACH your children it’s ok to lose it after the death of someone they dearly love. I hope you’ll find that tears are a GIFT. Tears of sadness contain TOXINS, whereas tears of happiness & joy do NOT! God created us to feel. I hope & pray you’ll see my post. I’m praying you will allow yourself to stop thinking that being “strong” means hiding your deepest sorrow from Ellis & Winnie. You ARE broken … but not forever.
Please … go get a therapeutic massage … soak in hot water … take care of YOU. Jenny said, “Please take care of ‘MY KYLE’”. I’m trying Jen … I’m trying.
@@JamieMurray-m7m Amen~Tears Falling as I Read Your Most Truly Touching Words☆♡☆♡☆♡...
My sister passed away five days after Jenny. The grief comes over me like a wave sometimes. It’s a process we have to go through unfortunately. ‘Without love there is no grief”
God bless you Kyle and your wonderful family ❤
Im sorry for your loss 🙏❤️
I’m sorry. It hurts like hell. Sisters are so special.
So sorry for your loss , lost my sister 3 years ago and still I am struggling with my grief 😔 X
I'm so sorry for your loss.
My sister died of the very same lung cancer at age 39. She was a pastor’s wife with 4 small children under 10. It feels so unfair!😢
I’m a Flight Attendant and I found a penny in the middle of the aisle today. In 10 years I’ve never seen a single lost coin until today. It made me stop and smile and think of Jenny. She was a very special person and I’m so very sorry for your loss.
❤very sweet comment.rip jenny
Aww sweet Jenny 🐞
Yes we have found two of them my wife points them out. I parked at the pharmacy and got out my truck and there was a Penny.
so incredible, jenny is with us all.💜 i found a dine in my car yesterday and i immediately smiled and said “” hi jenny””💜
She is there with you. I have always been told when you find a penny like that they are with you.
Kyle, your grief is normal. Keep talking to us, your friends & your therapist. We are here to support you.
I love this!!! Thank you!!!
You're not just acting, friend. You're surviving. However that looks, it's not fake, it's not wrong, it's not unjust. You're a warrior carrying your children on your shoulders while grieving yourself. Thats not weakness, that's incredible strength.
Beautifully said ♡
PREACH!💝
Amen! Survival yes
Beautifully spoken ❤
So beautifully said.
At your wedding, Jenny described you as her "perfect man'. We are really seeing that now. You are a wonderful man and we are priviledged to share your journey. Keep reaching out, and being you xx
Psalm 34:18
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
It’s okay to seek help. Do it for you and your family. ❤
Kyle, my husband died of cancer when he was 27 and I was 25. I had a 13-month-old to raise by myself. The reality of Jenny being gone will never leave you, but you will heal. Little by little you will find you again. Right now, you want what you had, but you will find yourself living more and more in what you have. Allow yourself the grace to get there.
That was a lovely way to word it. Great advice for anyone going through a huge change in their life, actually. ❤
My heart squeezes with pain for you my guy . Love them kids with everything you got left
You put this so well and it is so true. The healing will come in time and everyone is different in how they grieve. Kyle, you are dealing with this in the best way that you know how during the moment. You don’t have to know how to do anything you just let your emotions go as that is part of also letting go and remembering Ithe love you too had and will always have.
For sure!!!!❤
It's so refreshing to see a man just be like "I'm not okay. I'm struggling. I'm afraid" because the society just teaches men to repress their emotions, the ones that are not deemed manly enough.
For a man to be so vulnerable, crying on camera, admitting to weakness, it almost feel like a revolutionary act.
And I so admire Kyle for it!
Stay strong, Kyle! And stay brave! Stay true to yourself!
You are amazing! You're doing a great job!
Take your time. Don't try to rush it
Just be there for your children. And be there for yourself.
You can do this!
Luv u Kyle...share your pain. May God give you strength...you are so so special.
You and Jenny are revolutionary to our society today.
@@katiewinn255Absolutely.
In complete agreement.
I agree. Just keep talking. Just keep crying. I don’t know when anything will feel better but just don’t shutdown. Get it out like you are doing.
Dearest Kyle...you said that you didn't know how to do this. You don't realize it, but you ARE doing it....this is what grief looks like. Talking to your therapist, parenting your beautiful children, breaking down, and sometimes being able to smile is all part of this unfortunate process. You are such a strong and amazing young man, and I know what you mean when you say you feel like your acting...and it IS exhausting. One minute, one hour, and one day at a time Kyle. Continued love and prayers.🙏
This. 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🙌🙌
"if you can't live life for you right now, do it for the kids, and before you know it, you'll be living it for you too"
you can do this Kyle, we're all here hopefully giving you some strength when it get's hard
Always remember, when your pain is so intense, that Jenny herself is finally out of pain. Not anxious about procedures, protons, the children, you. She did everything she could to prepare you for what she knew she couldn't prevent. You're going to find your way, day by day. You have family and wonderful friends who are there for you. Start your journal / nothing formal, just your thoughts, feelings. Your babies are going to be fine, as well. Look around, she's everywhere!
words
So well said....
❤
Beautifully said❤❤
Such a great attitude!! Time helps heal.. I knew you must be in Oregon when I saw the rain when you arrived. I was born and lived there for 55 years before moving to AZ. I honestly don't miss that rain, just family and friends! Take care of yourself. ❤
Thank you for sharing your grief from a husband’s perspective. Most men are too afraid of a bruised ego to share their true grief with the world. You’re teaching men that it’s okay to feel emotion and cry. It’s okay to struggle. We’re all here for you. ❤
So so sorry for your loss. And you are grieving normally, if you can call it normal. Yes, cry and talk about it, shut yourself down, but come back up for your children. They will carry you thru this. Sometimes it will hurt so bad in your chest, your throat, like you can't breath or swallow. Yes, it is hard. And the only thing you can do right now is get up every day & put one foot in front of the other. And one day, thru time, you will smile again and think of the memories with laughter. It's good you have a wonderful family to support you thru this difficult time. And you talking here will help, have a good cry at night & talk to your wife. You have a good head on your shoulders, I can tell, & you will get thru this. Time, it takes time.
I can say all this because I've lost two husbands, first from sudden death 20 years ago & second from long illness 3 years ago. And it does feel unbearable right now, just keep talking to us (or to a professional if you need). You are reaching out and that is a good thing.
Just tell yourself you're going to have to go thru this, it does hurt less as time goes by. And the memories become a part of your life and who you are, and your children's. Sending strength...
False most men toughen it out.
As I will carry most my shit in silence and deal with it in silence.
But I also think realistically and most things can't really affect me.
Prepare for the bad people.
Your physical is all cool, but your mental is hand made into either a strong wall that withstands attacks or a little stick wall that will be blown down when the winds pick up.
Your children will look back and say “my Dad was so strong for us in the most difficult times, he always loved us and took care of us”. Keep pushing on brother, you are a really great person.
This is my first Christmas without my spouse of 45 years. I understand your grief and it's almost been a year. I still cry on a daily basis. It's not a fast process. Hang in there you are very lucky to have had the years with Jenny that you did.
💌 lot's of love to you too
Thinking about you today
Life is unfair for everyone is soo hard but we gotta cope and accept what destiny brought us. We appeared in this world with out us choosing it, one day you just came to this earth and even if it's unfair as usual some people borns in a poor country and they will be hungry to death some others pay for the mistakes of their parents or never have a chance to even grow some die young all of us not most no all of us have to go throw family members that we love passing away and is one of the most sad parts of this unfair life but is a part that if we want it or not exist and will happen 100 % will happen we just don't think on it in our day to day basis but it will happen sooner or later but let's make it worth it all the time we can, rise from the ashes meet new people don't let it stop you. 45 years is a long time feel blessed it lasted that much not many people can tell they had a partner for 45 years straight, ofc with his ups and downs like every single marriage but it was a good part of your life is something you will bring with you forever wish you luck in your life angel there are new people waiting for you with their arms open, there is nothing time can't heal just remember that your spose right now feels nothing no pain no struggles no stress no tireness only extreme freedom and peace freedom like non can imagine and we will all go there to all of us, 50 years or 100 years what does it even matter life is soo short anyway soo let's not treat death like a bad thing is just the needed step to the hereafter, like unpluging something to plug it somewhere else, once you are there you will look back and say well this is way better than what I thought it would be. But meanwhile I want you here present and spending well your time here before leaving you still have stuff to do ;)
Prayers to u all!
Think that Jenny there in spirit. Find someone to talk to too .Maybe a,priest from a church.U don't need to do this alone.Everyone might say be strong n it doesn't get easier which I'm sure it doesn't but u don't need to grief alone.ONE DAY AT A TIME
PRAYERS TO U ALL.GOD BLESS U.
Kyle I live in Scotland UK.
Show your kids how far away that is on a map.
This is how far their Mum reached with her story.
I have stage 4 cancer
I lost my sister and Mother to cancer.
Your grief is so relatable.
You are a wonderful person and supported Jenny so much.
Take comfort in your children.
I am so sorry about Jenny a beautiful soul. ❤
I’m in Australia
Big hugs, I wish there was something I could do or say that would mean anything.
I can relate to everything you said Kyle. I lost my husband of 51 years 6 weeks ago and I cry and cry every day I miss him so much and the loneliness I can’t describe..no matter how many people I can have in the house he’s not there and that’s the loneliness I sit and look around me and. Say he’s not here. I miss him so much I’m scared to go out in case I meet anyone stops me and says how sorry they are that he passed. My son and daughter were and are still great when it happenend but when they leave at night I am on my own. Here you can’t get face to face counselling unless u go private or you have to be grieving for at least six months. I absolutely dread Christmas coming I could run to the hills just thinking about it. Love to u and the kids.
Hi Doreen. Many of us here with terminal cancer. You are not alone. Jenny's fight has encouraged me so much - to give it my all as well.
God bless you.
Bless you! You’ll be in my prayers tonight ❤
We’re always here to listen, Kyle. We’re not going anywhere. It’s ok to not be ok.
Agree!
Right. We are not going anywhere.
@@lesliedefilippis2150❤
@@lesliedefilippis2150Exactly
Perfectly said❤
I lost my husband to cancer and then a few year later I lost my youngest son to suicide. My heart goes out to you, this grief journey is brutal. The pain is like the waves in the sea it comes and goes, sometimes it’s an almighty storm and other times it’s more gentle and calm. Hold on tight and ride the waves, Jenny will always be with you and her family. You learn to live with that grief but it will not always be a deep a pain. Sending love and prayers to you and all your family and friends.❤🌻🌻❤️
my goodness . God keep you blessed and comforted. 🤍🤍
Prayers,to you❤Such wisdom in your words,dear soul....
My heart breaks for you. So sorry mama 🥲
I'm so sorry for your tragic losses Sylvia! 🤍
Oh lord , that is the worst to loose a child God be with you🙏🏽
The world got to know what a good husband is about. Before nobody knew before this channel . This is a learning channel to all men married or not. You were an angel here on earth for Jenny . It was planned. For millions of single dads this channel for them to learn from
I lost my first husband to cancer when I was 24 he was 28. My son was very young at the time. Honestly, took me years to get over the pain. For 10 years I found myself just crying at times. I still miss him after 20 years but life does get better. The pain eventually fades and the memories bring joy. After I lost him I found out my mother had lung cancer and years later she died. Please don't lose your faith. You will get through this. ♥ 🙏
I can agree to that. I'm 3 years into the grief journey now and while for the first two years I cried almost daily, I just feel numb now (I miss feeling happiness, excitement, love). More power and love to you, Kyle and everyone who has to go through loss.
Amen ☁️🎺👼🙏✨🌹
Bless you for your kind words of wisdom
♥
hugs!
Let us celebrate Jenny for a life well lived, and the two beautiful souls she gave the world!
❤ I’d even say in someway she gave us three… Kyle. Together, Jenny and Kyle pushed each other to become such wonderful people in the world. Let us celebrate the impact they all have had on the world 🎉
This family is absolutely beautiful and Jenny is/was the definition of warrior❤
She lives through her children now 🤍
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
And through Kyle 🙏❤
I’m 38 years old and 3.5 years out from losing my husband to cancer. I have been exactly where you are. Between shut off and really not okay. If I could offer you this - it will NOT always be like this. I promise you that. It may get darker before the light comes but it will get better. It won’t go away, but you will grow to live again, with the grief. I’m so terribly sorry that you’re here.
Someone told me the same thing when my mother died.She says It won't always hurt this bad.
I didn't believe her.but it did and you do with time heal some.You must go on and live and look for ways to create your life without that special person as difficult as that is.🧡
Maybe it would be good for the two of you to get in touch and you can help him understand this path. Being able to vent with someone who has been through the same experience is helpful.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
You put it beautifully to Kyle🌹
I 100% understand what you're going through. Over the last few years I've lost people who were really close to me and the greaving process to me seems impossible. The only time I really broke down in tears was the day my dad passed away but since that day I've never been able to really let my grief out and it's scary. I know I need to release all this grief for my own health but I've locked all the pain and hurt away to try and cope.
I personally haven't been well these last few years, even had a heart attack 2 years ago. Maybe it's my body and mind that's suffering because I have locked all this hurt away, all I know is if I don't sort myself out soon something serious may happen to me.
But when you go out places and wherever you go there's something to remind you of a loved one you've lost it's so hard not to block your emotions off just to be able to cope day by day.
Hopefully you'll find your grieving release and be able to get on with life the best you can. But always remember this that you're never on your own, there will be someone who can help you to get through life. It's just believing that there is light at the end of the very long dark tunnel. Keep strong my friend.
So beautifully said and so true. I lost the love of my life to cancer in 2015 and watching this brought it all back like it was yesterday and the tears began to flow. Kyle you are an amazing human being. It took two years for me to even begin to function in any sort of meaningful way. God bless you Kyle. I will continue to keep you in my prayers.
Missing someone is the cruelest gift ever. Grief is so weird. What a good guy im so sorry this haopened to your beautiful family man. God this hurts.
Kyle 7 years ago I lost my best friend and husband of 50 years, I grieved hard for 3 years, just went to church. Shopped once a month. Grieving is different for everyone, what I can now say is one day at a time. I promise you the grief will get easier in time. I slept on the couch because I couldn’t make my way to our bed. Nights were hard, I lost my snuggle buddy to cancer. Yes it will always be there but it will get better. My scab is now a scar , I am making it still one day at a time. I pray for you and your little family. You are strong.You can get through this. The support group sounds like a great idea. Much Blessings 😊 I found a penny the other day and was making a Tutu for my daughter for school she’s a teacher and got sparkles all over the house. Thought about Jenny.
Kyle, my heart breaks for you! I hope you will consider meeting with a grief group or therapist. Take advantage of the resources that are out there. And lean on God!
Lord have mercy on Kyle and his family. 😢😢😢😢❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
The Lord Jesus will be with you! Bless you so much!
Not only are you grieving the loss of your beautiful wife, Jenny, you have had to be so strong for so long for Jenny, for your kids, and it is hitting you all at once. Def have you all in my prayers every day. One day at a time, sometimes one minute at a time. Over time we learn to deal with it better, promise. The missing them never goes away, we just learn to deal with it better.💞
Sorry for your loss ❤
I lost my son (36) 3 years ago on Thanksgiving day. I learned that grief will not only make you mentally sick, but physically sick as well. The first months are total pain, then a sort of shock sets in--you won't remember much of the first year. The second year reminds you just how long forever is, but the new normal begins to assert itself, and real joy returns. By the 3d year you realize that you don't move past grief, it just moves with you, part of the fabric of your life, but you will be having a life.
Yes! The 2 year mark I felt the fog lifting.. ❤
So well said. You are so right. I'm really sorry for the loss of your son
Yes!! My fog lifted after two years.
Kyle, thank you for continuing to "check in" with us. I think of you, jenny, and the kids often. I thought of you on Thanksgiving and I talk about you like you're extended family (i.e. "I hope Kyle is surviving the holiday and is with family today on Thanksgiving"). You're not alone. This grief that feels like it's tearing you apart, limb from limb, is overwhelming and seems like it will either kill you or keep you here forever in this pain; I promise it will subside with time. Just live minute by minute, friend. Living day by day feels too much. You ARE doing it. Keep seeing your therapist and talking it out; reach out to family and don't drop your routine. The first holidays are always hard. Jenny believed in you and so do we. You got this. Live for your kids until you can live for yourself. I'm sending you love and healing vibes, keeping you and your family in my prayers. ❤️
Your sentiment is so beautifully written. I just had to tell you that this comment was so impactful and beautiful. 🙏🫂
Hold tight sweet Appleford's. We love you & we hear you & we are with you. We are so proud Kyle. Jenny must be so proud.
Kyle, you have for many years been superstrong for your wife. You have held her up, comforted her, beeing the gentle soul she needed to lean on. You are not just grieving the loss of the most important person in your life, your soul are in the same time processing your own journey on this hard cancerride.
Some say grief is like you beeing on a ship that is sinking. In the beginning you are just tumbling around in the water, having no direction, feeling as you are going to drown when the griefwaves flows over your head and body. But after some time, you will find a floatingdevice to help you in the midst of the waves. The time will pass, and you will be able to swim on the device to a safer space. The waves will continue to come, but you will manage them better and better. I admire you honesty and your love for your family. I am so sorry for your loss ❤. Just take one minute at a time, then one hour, one day and so on. Let the love carry you. It's still the same. Love is the bridge between life and death. It's there all around you.❤ It never dies.
Spot on 💝👍🏼
Beautiful manifested xxx❤
ur comment gave me chills because u r so right in ur description of love and grief and back to love ❤️. i hope kyle takes and understands ur words
They say you grive your loved ones so much, because of the way you loved each other. Kyle you and Jenny were a perfect couple. Just thank God for all the wonderful years you had with her. All the beautiful memories of her. Cherish them,and know that Jenny would have wanted you to be happy for her. No more pains she is at peace now. Give yourself the time to grieve. You took care of jenny the best way possible. You were the best, caring husband to her. Take each day as it comes. Time is the best healer. Our love and prayers are with you and the family. Take good care of yourself Kyle. Jenny would want that. ❤
This gave me chills. Love is the bridge between life and death, beautifully said.
I lost my mom to cancer four years ago. Someone shared the analogy of an ocean that is quite accurate- Grief is an ocean that once you are in, you are in forever. Some days will be rough and stormy, other days calm and peaceful, but you will always be in that ocean. The goal is to learn to live and eventually thrive in that ocean. Also remember that there are many other people in there as well- to help you along the way. Blessings to you and your family Kyle. You are in my thoughts. ❤
Yes. And remember who it is who meets us there, on the Ocean..The One who calms the storm.😢 tells us to trust. Walks on water.💧 and when they cried out in fear, Jesus reassured them..'O you of little faith, why do you doubt '?
Same here
That's beautiful. Reading that made me cry even harder. Rest in paradise, you beautiful soul, Jenny. ❤
💙💙💙
❤❤❤❤love it.
I lost my soulmate in 1990 when he was only 40 from lung cancer, my children were only 2&4 & yes dear Kyle it’s really hard. It’s 33 years now & there are still days that are reminders, you wouldn’t be human if you didn’t feel lonely either. Thinking of you love from Balgal beach Queensland Australia 🥰
I just lost my oldest daughter the middle of September. You are saying exactly what I feel. I don't know how I'm going to go on without her. I was 15 when she was born. And we grew up together. She was far stronger than I am emotionally and mentally.
I'm sharing my grieving with you.
Like you, I spent Thanksgiving with friends, constantly reminded of last year with her, even though I wasn't alone, I was wanting to be, and yet I was grateful I was welcome in a home full of friends. And like you, there were moments I could forget get involved in a conversation but then I'd remember.
I've lost family before, and I know that what you are feeling is normal. Day by day you feel like you are just going through the motions, but honestly, God is right there helping. Day by day you and the kids will build a new normal for you all. Keep it open with kids and help them talk about her and keep their memories alive for them, but help them live each day to it's fullest. One day this new normal will just be normal for all of you.. We don't really ever get over grieving. Life just has a way of keeping us busy and time does too. Keep your family strong, involved with each other. I've subscribed so I'll be here to. You are a good man, a strong man. If you need advice just ask all of these viewers, and be prepared for the avalanche but pick what makes sense to you.
Good luck to us.
I’m in Ruskin Florida and used to live in Simi valley
I'm so sorry.
I hope you are doing as okay as you can 😢❤❤
Jenny will be remembered always for her charm, smile, beautifully expressive eyes, wit, laughter, vulnerability, honesty, humility, loving spirit of all animals, kindness, caring soul, and the timeless happiness and joy she brought to Kyle, Ellis, Winnie, her dear family and many friends. She will live in the hearts of thousands forevermore.
Yes, you described her perfectly.
Well said, thank you for your kind words.
❤❤❤
we all love and support you kyle. there is nothing anyone can say to make you feel better. with time you'll feel better, and perhaps even miss this level of grief.
as a random stranger, my only advice is to take things one day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute of time, as needed. And PLEASE accept the help of those willing to provide it to you.
hang in their brother, there is an army behind you.
Hey kyle you do what's best for you, the way you greive & mourn, lots of things are gonna remind you of jenny. Songs, smells, places, just go threw the days the best you can. It's going to be very hard not easy ❤ your gonna cry no journey like this is easy. Mayb being places you & her went could help. It's hard but might be helpful. Just be their for your kids, be strong, you dnt have be tough. Your allowed to cry alot it's only been a week. Your kids are going to struggle missing their mama. And you missing your beautiful jenny. It's awful. But you have family, therapists to talk to. I'm sure it will be a beautiful ,moving kinda hard, emotional service.. Your doing well even though u dnt think you are. Plenty of people go & you will to. ❤Love to you guys. Hope the memorial goes well. Catch you later kyle.
Beautifully said ❤
This is exactly what I was going to say. One hour at a time, or one minute. Very important to let someone help you 💜. Eventually the memories will transition from being shattering to being comforting. You will make it 💜💜💜
Patrick that is so nice of you ✳️✳️✳️
❤stay close to Jesus and He will carry you through! He loves you three so much. Hold tight to Him! When you feel you can’t go on, cry out to Him and He will hear you and, comfort you.
You are strong, Kyle. The fact that you said you will not crumble and fall says so much. I can't even fathom the amount of pain you are enduring. We all love you and your family.
I lost my daughter at 34 and am raising her children. The grief is overpowering. It’s been 5 years now and my insides hurt so bad. You are newly into this. It is called depression. The kids are a blessing and will make you take one step at a time when you don’t want to. I hope you are considering grief counseling for you and the kids. There are no words for this situation. Brave and strong, sweetie. Love and hugs to your dear family. You really are still in shock. ❤
Sorry for your loss Catherine ❤
God bless you im so glad you have her babies 💕💕 i hope they are doing ok
I agree with grief counseling!!! Wish I did it sooner after losing my mom at 19 (we were incredibly close) I was falling apart without her! Now I can actually hold it together when it matters
❤
Luv Winnie’s suitcase and it reminds me how much Jenny loved Disney.❤ Sometimes you just need to get away. Losing Jenny is hard, but I see her light in you, Winnie, and Ellis. Lots of these.❤❤
My Mom told me right before she died “I’ll never truly die until my name is spoken for the last time.” So, my brother named his daughter after her so that would never happen in our lifetime. Love, strength & PEACE to you sweet sweet Kyle. It’s okay to cry & sit in your grief.
I was crying this morning like I have cried every morning, day, night for the last 6 months. I lost my beautiful son 38 years old unexpectedly 6 months ago.. No illness, no accident, autopsy revealed no reason. He was my life and all I had in the world. I live alone. Then I put RUclips on and saw your video. I followed part of Jennys journey as I only found her story a few months ago. Everything you said I can relate to. The overwhelming grief, the act of disassociating. My therapist said it’s our brain way of coping when things get too much. The feeling of acting when I’m doing things. I often describe it as being on auto pilot, like a clockwork model, going through the motions but not feeling. Not knowing what to do, how to act. Christmas is coming and he used to come and stay every Christmas and that was our special time together. I am already dreading it, already cry over it.. As a parent you know if you lost your child, no matter what their age, you would be devastated. But until it happens you have no idea. The least little thing sets you off, a song, a memory or no reason, just his absence. My mind cannot grasp it and I don’t feel ‘me’ anymore. I feel lost, alone, confused, bewildered. There is no more normal. There feels no purpose to my day or my life. I feel as though my heart has been ripped out and nothing will ever mend. You are not long in your journey of grief and I know this might not help as it’s been said to me many many times but everything you are saying, everything you are thinking is normal in people that are grieving. There is no right or wrong. There is no magic solution. I try to get through it because I told my son I would try every day to make him proud so I have to cling on to that. I know what you mean, honestly. You never get over it, things never are the same again but I’m told we eventually carve out a new and a different ‘normal’ life for ourselves. It’s hard to believe at the moment. You are doing the right thing reaching out, talking to people and you are also doing the right thing when you need alone time. It’s one day at a time and when that’s too hard, I do one hour at a time. It’s all we can do my friend. “Grief is the price we pay for a great love”. My heartfelt blessings and prayers to you and your family xx
I’m so sorry. ❤
I'm so sorry 😞 words don't mean much, and probably makes you cry more. I cannot imagine your grief. Wish I could hug you, but I will pray 🙏
I am sorry for your loss
Wow !!!! U expressed grief sooooo well!!! Thanks sooooo much!!!
I am so sorry for your pain. Hugs and Prayers
This isn’t a support group, but POG dad on RUclips reached out to you awhile back. I’m not sure if you guys connected but he would probably be a great resource for you, Kyle! I love the rock garden idea! Hang in there, we are all praying for you and the family! ❤️
Looking at Winnie is like looking at Jenny. She is the image of her beautiful Mommy. She lives on through her wonderful children. Sending so much love to you all and your strength to still make these videos is helping others going through the same experiences. Jenny would be so proud of you all and i bet when you're sitting down Kyle filming these videos that Jenny is holding her arms around you keeping you strong. God Bless you 🙏🙏🙏
Yes! There is so much of Jenny in Winnie. Gosh i felt so bad watching the kids walking out with their suitcases without Jenny. 🙏❤️😢
I agree, the close ups of winnie, my thought was minnie jenny!
@@mindy9061Yes. It's just so unfair 😢
The hardest part of grief is the relentlessness of life and how it keeps going on, when you really, really need to stop and just breathe. Losing your soulmate and the person you expected to spend the rest of your life with is not a small grief, it's huge. So Kyle, you take the time you need. Make time stop for a little while - there will be people who can watch Ellis and Winnie for you while you take a breather. There is no timescale on coming to terms with loss. Heart is with you, big guy.
I absolutely agree 🙏
One night, not long after Jenny passed, I woke up to something crawling on my cheek. I flicked it off and jumped out of the bed. When I turned on the light I saw this beautiful ladybug on my pillow. I immediately laughed and said to myself...That's funny Jenny! Just thought I'd share this little story with you. Maybe it will help you smile. Praying for Y'all ❤
You are in the thick of grief - I'm so sorry for your loss. The only rule of grief is to feel what you are feeling. It's okay to "shut off" - you are doing your best, and that is such a victory.
I lost my mom after a long cancer battle. Your pain here is so familiar - I'm so sorry for the pain you are feeling. It's okay to not be okay. It didn't help me when people told me "it gets better", so I won't tell you that - I'll just tell you to take care of yourself. "Shutting off", Disneyland, out of town for Thanksgiving, church.....all fantastic things. Getting up and making breakfast is fantastic. Being in therapy is fantastic.
Not sure what I'm trying to say - just feel so much for you. Sending love to your family.
Kyle thanks for picking up the camera and sharing. After facing several big losses in my immediate family, I heard a TikToker say “Grief is the price we pay for love and it’s worth paying.” It’s helped me through the layers of emotion and pain as I go through the process of grieving. The love was worth it. I know that Jenny’s love was just as priceless for you. You are so blessed. Sending more love your way. ❤
My hubby passed away many years ago and I lived as a robot for a long time and also shut off too. Be compassionate to yourself Kyle. This is very hard work! We are always here to listen. Much love and care to you, Kyle and Winnie.
Kyle, you will never get over losing Jenny but you will get through it. There's no time limit on grieving. We need to each grieve in our own time and our own way. Prayers.
Hang in there Kyle. I lost my wife 10/3/2020 to colon cancer. Can identify with how hard it is for you and your wanting to shut down. There's no one size fits all for grief. Living moment to moment is still living. If sharing through these videos help keep doing them. Jenny lives through you and your two beautiful children. There's a whole fraternity of brothers that stands with you. Peace...
Bless you Kyle❤ My brother is going through the same painful journey. He lost his wife of 10 years one year ago to Stage 4 colon cancer. This was the first thanksgiving without her. He is still struggling. He appeared to do well during the day but said he cried all the way home. You are not alone. He is a minister and is leaning on the Lord. He also needs a support group. I pray for you and your kids. May the Lord wrap you in his comforting arms. Your church may have support groups as does my brothers. Love and prayers ❤❤🙏🙏🙏
My heart is with you. I’m also cancer patient and admire all the support your wife received from you family and friends. I’m not so fortunate……Mcrc stage 4
I’m so sorry you’re not getting the support you deserve my heart goes out to you ❤️
Please know you are in my prayers and that you are never alone. Our Lord will keep you covered in His love and arms always. ❤ ✝️
Hi Kyle, I've been a silent viewer since discovering Jenny last year. Grief affects each person uniquely, and I resonated deeply with your video. Losing my husband nine years ago, the pain resurfaced as if it were yesterday. The memory of our loved ones never fades; we simply adapt to life without them. Grief is like a constant companion, sometimes quieter, but never truly gone. It's a journey of learning to navigate a world altered by loss. Your openness about your own grief touched me, reminding me that we're not alone in these emotions. My thoughts and prayers are with your family, and I'll continue praying without pause. 😢
Very well put! Adjusting is such a perfect word. ❤
It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to feel completely lost. It’s okay to pull your head into your shell like a turtle 🐢. It’s so healthy to grieve like you are and so generous of you to share the deepest part of your soul with us. Praying for the Peace that passes understanding. 🙏 So glad you are heading to church for comfort. ⛪️ God is with you Kyle. 🙏
Grief is probably the only pain that actually doesn’t have a cure. It’s mentally and physically exhausting. So the fact that your able to articulate yourself so well & speaking about it will hopefully somewhat help you in the long run. You’re doing the best you can & we are all here wrapping you and the whole family in a big hug. You have a global family ready to help whenever. Sending you guys all the love & strength ❤
There is absolutely NO timeline for grief. My husband passed away 6.5 years ago and I struggle EVERY year on all holidays and sometimes just random times of the year. You are not alone, and how you feel is perfectly normal and expected.
Hugs sent your way to you and your children.
“Grief is hard”is such an understatement. It is all encompassing. It touches every element in your life. But the joy is, without LOVE there is no grief. Your LOVE is so strong, the grief is strong. You WILL get through this because JENNY wants you too. You are an amazing Dad and Husband. All things are possible with GOD. You have thousands of prayers coming your way. Feel the way you feel, cope the best you can.. but know we are praying for you all!
What a kind comment!
i love how you put this
@@melissaangela9151 ❤️
It's ok to shut off. Allow yourself to be numb. The only way over grief is through it. There's no certain way to grieve. Just take it moment by moment.
Kyle, I lost my mom in the beginning of 2023 and yes, Thanksgiving was hard. Her birthday is November 30. Christmas will be hard too. The one year anniversary of her death will be the hardest. I have found a therapist who has helped me through this difficult time. It took me several months to reach out. I cry in her office once a week. She has a motherly presence and it’s nice. My heart is forever broken. A daughter without her mother. I’m so lost. Losing her, I feel like I’ve lost my biggest cheerleader, my best friend and my very first love. She was my world. Who will ever love me as much as she did?
Oh darling I lost my mom too and I feel the same way you do
Me too I lost mine recently. The last three sentences of your post is exactly how I feel every day and I will for the rest of my life 😪
I lost my mum in May and have exactly the same feelings. Very lost. I keep going because I know it's what she wanted, but my heart's not in it.
YOU will, Jennie! You will. For her. My heart goes out to you
My mom passed in May this year. A lot of firsts. I am trying to prepare myself for my first birthday/Christmas without her…without that call wishing me a happy birthday before anyone else. Crying as I type this. I miss her every second. My heart goes out to Kyle and his sweet family. I can’t imagine the grief of losing your life partner. Sometimes it’s okay to “shut down” as long as we don’t live perpetually in that state. My prayers for them, and for each one of us- unknown to the other but common in our shared grief. All the love in the world.
The grief is so unpredictable. It’s ok to crumble, Kyle. You’re doing such a great job. The many “1st’s” of everything are always the hardest. Love to you, Ellis & Winnie ❤
My sister passed away and then a few weeks later my mother in law passed away in my home on Thanksgiving day. It was devastating! The grief was unbearable at times but I can promise you, it will get easier. Please join a grief group. My sister in law lost her husband a few years ago and this is what saved her! It would help you so much. Sending you and your kids lots of love and strength! ❤
Grief is the most debilitating emotion one can go through. When I lost my grandpa I just remember thinking “Why does it have to hurt so bad?” I imagine losing a child hurts tenfold and thank God I’ve never had to experience that because I don’t know if I could survive that kind of loss honestly. Grief is a sadness that is felt deep within your bones. The pain doesn’t go away but it does get easier.
I became a widow at the age of 26 with two small kids. My late husband died from cancer called Adult Wilhms Tumor back in 2009. I can say for me, it does get a little easier as the time passes but I still have my moments of missing him so much. All I can say is live life and enjoy all the little things. Life is short. Sending hugs to and your family.
I lost my aunt (who I was very close with) this past January. I miss her so much, as well. I would say to you the same thing I would say to Kyle: as painful as missing them is...think how much worse it would be if you DIDN'T miss them. Something would REALLY be wrong, then.
I know many have shared stories with you and I’ve held back but after watching your last video, I wanted to share. My brother and I lost our mom to cancer when I was 10 and he was 12. My dad went from caregiver to full time parent after losing the love of his life. My parents were together since middle school. It was not easy for any of us but I one thing I can promise is that kids are resilient. It’s true! While they are mourning now it will get easier for them. At 44, I miss my mom terribly but I don’t know any different. I see friends with their moms and of course wish I had that but again I don’t know any different. My dad did the very best he could and I have no complaints. Life looked different for us but we chose to push forward with our father’s guidance. My brother and I are both very successful now and learned that sometimes things may not go as planned and that’s ok. You have to pick up and make the best choices. Unfortunately the grief was too much for our dad and he wouldn’t go to talk to anyone. When my dad got sick, I took him in just a couple months after getting married. Watching him in pain and knowing he never got over the loss of my mom was the more painful. After 25+ years I know my dad passed of a broken heart. In his final days he finally shared with me that he couldn’t take knowing she wasn’t there to share in all our successes, be there as we got married or start families of our own. The point of sharing this is to say please please please take care of yourself. As much as you want your kids to be ok and happy, I promise, they will be! As crazy as that sounds it’s true. My brother and I tried our whole life quietly to show we are ok to make him happy. Graduating college, getting married, having kids and always taking the high road but to this day wonder if we made him proud. I know we did but I think the grief allowing him to show how happy he was without doing it with my mom wouldn’t allow him to and eventually was too much. I just want you to know that, yes this is so hard right now but use your beautiful children to heal and keep Jenny’s spirit alive. She was such a beautiful soul and you were so lucky to have that time with her. Please, Kyle, take care of yourself and continue talking to someone including friends and family. Your kids will be ok. I promise you. Just be there for them and guide them to do the right thing while taking care of yourself. You’re strong and show them you got this! We are all here for you and sending you so much love. This is a new journey in your story book, make it a great chapter. ❤️
Beautiful, beautiful advice…..❤
What a kind and thoughtful reply. I pray Kyle sees it. God bless you.
Wonderful loving kind advice for Kyle.
Ty for taking the time to share your life.
Those lessons are wisdom that come from a place of love 🙏❤️
In this case the wisdom is wise and life saving God Bless You
I hope he sees your comment ❤
Wonderful advice. Hope Kyle sees this one . ❤
My first thought? Wow. Jenny picked a great guy for a husband, but also dad to her children! Keep up the great work with your kids. You are their biggest advocate. In your grief you are showing the world that you can get through, even if only day by day hour to hour. No one can rush through the process. Grief is like a boomerang, tossing you out into an abyss that you work through, then you come back somehow. Everyone has their own unique journey. I pray you get the support you seek. Faith and love conquer all❤️🙏🏻
went throught this when my dad passed, i didnt want to do anything with life, but you will eventually get through it. Stay strong!
Dear Kyle, I'm in the middle of watching this video and I just had to stop and tell you how much I have been thinking of you and your beautiful children, and sending so many hugs and prayers of peace and comfort to all of you. I wanted to share just a tiny bit from a child's perspective when losing a beloved parent. I'm in my late 60s now, but lost my dad when I was almost four. My parents had a lovely marriage, and had their first child (me) after 15 years of being married. As you can imagine, I was totally loved, and not a little spoiled, lol. My dad was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 40 and died 5 months later. I don't have a ton of memories, I do have some, but mostly I have the feelings of that time. And there is a special place in my heart for my dad to this day, where I can feel his love for me. So much so, that it can move me to tears. My mom's love made all the difference in my life. She was my angel and guiding light, and if there is one thing I know, I know she loved me utterly and completely, as did my dad, and she kept his memory alive for me, although she remarried and had another child. I just wanted to let you know that Ellis and Winnie will not only be okay, they will thrive. They will always miss their mama and there will be times that feelings will come to them about her that will cradle their hearts and that they may not even be able to put words to. Jenny will never, ever leave them or you. Thank you so much for sharing your heart with us. Much love to you all.
Dear Kyle, I've been watching your channel for some time and even though I've never met you and Jenny in person, I love Jenny like my own sister. Perhaps because my dad, who passed away 20 years ago, had a similar sense of humor to Jenny and a similar view of the world. He died tragically and I didn't have a chance to say goodbye to him. Unique people like Jenny and my dad are not easily forgotten. The loss is extremely painful, more than anyone else can understand. After so many years I still miss my father. Time does not heal wounds, only we learn how to live with them. My way to cope with this pain was always to remember every word he said, every advise. I am trying to be good person to honor him. My daughter is 21 years old and I always tell stories about her grandpa to her. She lives with his values as well. We will always love Jenny and we will never forget her ❤. Please stay strong to tell about how beautiful soul Jenny was to your grandchildren. Greetings from Poland.
Kyle, you definitely need to get yourself and your children into therapy and support groups for grief and mourning,which are 2 different emotions. There are several different levels. The hospital she was in or Hospice will be able to give you the names of professional groups. Prayers and Best Wishes, Amen.
Kyle, I lost my first husband 30 years from a heart attack. He was 49 yo and had not been I’ll. Everything you are feeling and describing is very familiar to me. I honestly thought I would not be able to live after I lost him. We had somewhat of a fairy tale life, three daughters who loved their dad so much (all were out of the house) so I didn’t have children to raise. We were married 29 years. Grief is totally individual. There is no right or wrong way to do it. But you will undoubtedly encounter people who will tell you how you are supposed to be doing it. You might find it necessary to separate from those people in the long run. People mean well, but they just don’t know. Great grief is caused by great love. It was obvious that you and Jenny had a great love. You will never “get over” losing Jenny, but the pain will easier to bear. Live your life. You know she wants you to. Take everything as it comes and one day at a time. Cry, scream, wallow if you need to. I was 47 when I lost my precious husband and we were married 29 years. I stayed single eight years and have now been married almost 24 years to my second husband. Do I love him? Absolutely. Is it different from the love I had for my first husband? Absolutely. Love yourself and your children and take life as it comes. I always say I wish I could do the grieving for others going through it because I know how. Of course, that’s impossible so I hope that something I say may help you to have hope. God bLess you Kyle
Kyle, there are so many things I could say, but words simply escape me after watching this video. Grief is hard. It is horrible. And I, and so many who follow you, want you to know we are incredibly proud of how you are navigating this gut wrenching thing called grief. I know Jenny is especially proud of you and the kids. ❤️
I am not married, so I do not know what it is like to lose a spouse, but my grandmother who lived with us growing up and who I was extremely close to, died when I was 12 years old after being very sick for a long time and in and out of the hospital. My mom always told me we remember our loved ones by saying their names, telling their stories, sharing our grief, and not hiding it, and that has always stuck with me. You are doing that Kyle, and by sharing this journey, are keeping Jenny’s legacy and presence alive here on earth. She lives on through you and through the kids.
There is a great children’s book my mom got me when my grandmother died called Holes in the Sky by Patricia Polacco. It is about a girl that loses her grandmother, but it is a great universal book for any child experiencing loss and talks a lot about what children might feel after losing someone they love. I know Jenny loved sparkly things, and my favorite part is when the grandmother says to the granddaughter in the book that every time someone dies a new star or hole in the sky is pierced in the heavens and that person’s star is there to watch over us on earth. It is a beautiful book about grief I thought I would share that helped me as a kid.
Praying for you all as always and May God bless your whole family. Love and miss you sweet Jenny angel. ❤️🙏
My mom went to a bereavement group through a local church. She was so distraught that she did the program twice. I remember one thing that really resonated they told her was to never turn down an invitation whether you felt like going or not. The reasoning was if you don't go after a while the invitations stop so dress up and show up. You are doing really well, these feelings will come in waves for a long time.
I love that you are going through the "motions". For you, for your children. Stay strong! Jenny is there in everything you do. God bless you all❣️🙏🙏🙏
No one expects to lose the love of their life so soon in their story. I came from BC Canada to California today. First time in years. I saw City of Hope and cried. Your sweet Jenny impacted so many of us. Grief hurts so deep Kyle. It takes a long time before you begin to see the glimmers.
Much love to you, the kids, your family and friends. Praying for you. Jenny told us to watch out for you, her sister and the family. It's ok to not be ok ❤
My heart is breaking for you Kyle but the only way you can do it is “one day at a time”. You are all in our prayers 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🦋🦋🦋🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Kyle, you’re doing amazing. I lost my husband in July and he was young (54). Grief is brutal. It’s up and down. It grabs you in the obvious times but also in the craziest times. My husbands illness made him very angry and he did his best to push everyone away before he passed. It was so tragic and sad. Jenny was such a glowing, beautiful person right up until Jesus called her home. Her character and soul just sounds like she was a true angel on earth. Heaven is so lucky to have her. She’s holding your hand Kyle. She’s with you. Trust that. Be kind to yourself whenever you can ❤
Twice widowed. I'm very sorry.
I lost my mom recently, I feel your pain. This first Thanksgiving was so difficult. A few days ago I read a quote that says.. "Grief is love with nowhere to go." I do believe that to be true. Sending all kinds of love and prayers for strength and comfort. You all are in my thoughts.
You can still send your mother love even if she's on the other side, she will feel it for sure. God bless you and help you heal your heart.
Sending over condolences. I lost my Dad to cancer shortly after my oldest was born in 2008. I still process his grief through my writing & fitness. Sending over kindness to you during this time.❤
I got to know Jenny and all your family through watching your journey. I lost 3 siblings to cancer in 3 years time, 2021, 2022, and 2023. I started watching you and Jenny because it was similar to the last experience I went through with my sister Connie who I was caregiving for her with pancreatic cancer. She was a retired nurse and fought hard but lost her fight in such a short time. We lived together and it has really changed my life. It is a daily walk dealing with all kinds of emotions and I get signs from her at times too. But she had a strong faith and I know I'll see her again someday and that she's very much alive but just in a new place. You have been amazing Kyle. Your deep love for her makes it rough but also makes you strong. You are doing a wonderful job about everything, but let yourself grieve as you need to. Jenny is counting on you.
Kyle, I lost my son when he was 32. The pain is absolutely unbelievable, but it will change. The pain becomes slightly less as time goes by. Don't try and be Superman. Take help and counseling. ❤❤
I’m in the weeks stage too. Lost my person my mom to the same cancer so quick. I’m not ok. You’re not alone. And you are helping me feel less alone and validating me. Thank you. Hugs ❤
Sorry for your loss ❤
@alannahc9586 - So sorry for your loss. Sending a hug.
🥺🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
I'm 80 and have grieved many losses. I have found that the stronger the bond, the more difficult the loss and bereavement. It has always seemed that the special days during the first year after loss are the most difficult. A sense of "I made it" after passing the first year was palpable. It was then that I could begin building a new and beautiful normal. At times I wander in to the 'what if's"; at times I feel a passing sadness when thinking of the loved one. But it no longer "invades" my day-to-day happiness. Not setting a timeline for you, but it is what I have observed in myself and wonder if others have noticed likewise for themselves. You are doing this one day at a time, Kyle. Acknowledging your grief is healthy, as you are discovering. You are doing beautifully. Grandma hugs for you, Ellis and Winnie.
Beautifully said! ❤
Oh I hope he gets to read your comment❤
@@leeannej.giggey8029 Thank you. We are all hurting for Kyle and kids...any way we can help.
@@angelawilliams7939Thank you, Angela. I think we are all searching for any way to help.
A lot of people think that grief diminishes over time, but that isn't true. What really happens is that, gradually, without you really realizing it, your life, your heart surrounding the grief, grows bigger.
Kyle, it was so good to see you and the kids at church today and to have lunch with your family. It’s OK not to know what to do.
We are here if you need anything.
I love this so much!!! Thank you for being there for Kyle and the kids in “real life”!!!❤❤❤❤
Your wife is everywhere! She is the energy, she is the pain, she is the happiness, she IS what is getting you through your day! Talk to her when you feel lonely, she hears you! She is everywhere! She is always with you and her children!! Praying for you! Love your children and remember the strength she has left you with to get througb the sorrow!
Dear Kyle, thank you so much for your willingness to show your heart, and for your honesty. My husband died a little over a month ago, and Thanksgiving so so tough. I miss him so much, and it was so hard going to his sister's house, being with her family, talking to the same people - all without him. I'm focusing on all the years we had together - we had a lot of fun. We're lucky, you and I, that we had people in our lives whom we really loved - and who loved us back - and we'll always have that - that will never go away.
I lost my hubby just over 4 weeks ago love from England ❤.
I’m so sorry for your loss as well ❤ my heart reaches out to you
Grief is the hardest thing imaginable...I lost my daughter in August and the grief is horrible. .God bless you.
I am sorry for the loss of your daughter! Lots of love and comfort to you!❤
I'm so sorry for your loss 🙏
💞💔💞💝💞👼💞
Oh Renah, I am so sorry to hear your daughter passed away. This is one thing I can’t even imagine. The loss of a child. We lost my brother at age 7, he was in a car hit by a drunk driver. I don’t know how my parents have gone 51 years without him. Yes I lost my brother, but you and my parents lost your child. You will definitely be in my prayers. My parents say grief gets easier with time, yet there is still days that are so difficult 51 years later. Hold on to the memories.
💕🙏
You just go through the motions. You can shut offf, you are allowed. The stages of grief come and go in all different orders for every single so. The kids are fed loved and have a routine. That is all you need for now. You can’t be superman. You are doing enough while you negotiate the hardest. Stuff. Sending you all love from here in New Zealand. We lost someone to cancer but have gradually become used to that empty seat at the table or bed. It slowly becomes the new normal and one day not as hard. Be kind to yourself by not being as self critical. You are managing as best you can. You and the kids will get there. They need to have their down times. You can’t always fix it but sometimes those very differcult times help make you all stronger. Your wife will always be glad they have you. Some children would not be that lucky ❤️
I am so sorry Kyle. My Daddy died October 9th and my soul is crushed. I do not want to compare my loss to the loss of a spouse and so I won't say I know how you feel, but please know you're not alone in grieving during the holidays. It is so very, VERY hard and my heart goes out to you. I am so glad you took Jenny's advice and picked up the camera when things got too tough to bear. None of us can ease your pain but we can sit alongside you. You are absolutely not alone. Thank you for sharing your feelings here. It's very helpful and now I also do not feel alone in my grief.
I am so sorry 😢I lost my papa too 😢
I know exactly how you feel. I just lost my Daddy on Nov 14th. And I just lost my Mom 2 years ago. The Holidays are going to be SO hard this year
@@zeek4749I am so truly sorry for your loss. 😢
@@kathryn1541that is really tough. I am so sorry for your losses. 😢
My mom died today. I am crushed
You will not crumble, you absolutely will not! Your immense grief is equal to the immense love that you and Jenny had/have for each other. Those beautiful children will always bring you up and out of your darkest times. This grandma is praying for you and the children. You all are truly amazing!
Kyle, I lost my husband 22 months after we got married. Grief is some of the hardest work that you will ever do. These early days of grief will eventually just be a fog. When you have regained some strength, I suggest that you and the kids start making new or different memories than the the things that you did with Jenny. Make those memories in honor of Jen. It will help clear the fog. I’m praying for all of you.
Stay present with your feelings. Sending love,hugs and prayers for all of you.
Kyle, we want to just hold you guys tight. Jenny is with you guys in spirit, and she is proud of you, and you should be proud of you. Right now, Kyle talking will help you guys through this journey. Almost all of us on here have lost someone they loved, and we are walking through this grief with you. I am also grieving the loss of a child and raising up a grandchild now. Grief comes in many forms. I got into my car the other day, and there on the inside on my windshield was a lady bug. I thought of Jenny right away. Hugs to your family and you. This is gonna take us a while to get through this journey that we are on.
I lost my 48 year old son to Stage 4 Squamous Cell cancer on March 9th of this year. I was blessed to have been with him when he took his last breath. That day is forever in my mind and always will be. Everyone grieves in their own way. We never truly stop grieving, we go on living with the memories that person gave us. I cry a lot, still! Jenny’s spirit is there with you always and no one can tell us how to go on without our loved one. I still talk to my son as though he was physically here and that helps me understand he’s still here with me. God bless and keep you.
Dear Elizabeth, I am so very sorry for your loss. The loss of a loved one is difficult, but the loss of a child, no matter what age, is devastating. I pray that the Lord comforts your heart and swaddles your soul in His Love and Grace. In Jesus's name.
Sending you love ❤️
Elizabeth , my heart goes out to you. My son was about the same age as yours, I watched him take his last tiny 3 breaths 2 years ago. I think you cry for about 100 years, I have 98 to go ❤️
So sorry for your loss too.Blessings to you and your memories 🧡
@@karencaddle7288 So very sorry, blessings to you💗
Our hearts are all touched by you, Kyle. We are all hear to listen.....not to tell you how you should feel.... Many of us have been there, and many have not experienced the loss of a spouse, child, etc. We love you. We are all hear supporting you. Blessings, Kyle
Yeah! I feel the same my dear
Kyle, you’re strength is amazing. I can’t imagine going through what you are and still being functional. You’re still there for your beautiful children and doing all the things you have to do. Brother you are an inspiration to Dads and Husbands everywhere. Jenny is so proud of you, and I’m sure you know that.
You are the best Kyle. Lighter days will come. Take day by day. Jenny is smiling from heaving and cheering you on, like we all do. You do amazing when you are happy and you do amazing when you cry. All is valid, all is needed ❤
My husband passed away 6 months ago and I completely understand what you are going through. Thank you for posting. It helped me realize to give myself grace. My prayers continue for you and your kids.
i’m so sorry for your loss ❤ he’s always with you
When you love deeply you grieve deeply… it’s ok Kyle. Be present with your feelings because they are very real and honoring the love you share with Jenny ❤️
Your reply to Kyle is truly beautiful, and touched me deeply. Peace.
We 👍 agree. We pray 🙏 that you will remember the good things about Jenny. When you look at the children you made together with love. She will visit you give her time. Try get some sleep it helps you mentally. XOXO 😘 Greaf is so hard. I promise it will get lighter one day. XOXO ❤❤❤❤❤
My mom's best friend is into crafts and she made a lady bug out of half a walnut shell, painted it red with black dots. I have not seen a lady bug in a million years, except for your RUclips channel. So my mom showed it to me. She held out her hand with this lady bug in it.and I literally froze for about 7 seconds. I was speechless. It really stopped me in my tracks. I was like 'oh thanks Jenny'. I've never even met her but she has been in my heart watching your RUclips channel. I am so grateful.
I will never understand why life hands us the hardships it does, but I’m so proud of you for all you’re doing for your kiddos and all you did and continue to do for Jenny. You are so deeply loved and I hope you feel that from all of us here who are grieving with you.
Holidays are the hardest. My heart is full of love and gratitude for you reaching out to us❤️🥰❤️ I thank you and applaud your kindness to us.
You and Jenny deserve all of us...all of these kind comments. Keep venting and sharing your feelings. We are HERE for you. We LOVE you Kyle, Ellis n Winnie❤️❤️❤️
And all your family members.
Well said ❤
If there was a way to take away the tremendous grief and loss you and the kids are experiencing, you know there would be thousands of us doing just that. It's not just the loss of Jenny, you have carried such an enormous weight over the course of Jenny's fight. Both mentally and emotionally, you suffered with her through all the treatments and setbacks. It will take time for you to heal body and mind. Jenny will continue to guide you with all the love and wisdom she imparted while you both traveled this path. Peace be to you Kyle now and always. Hugs those beautiful children and hug that Jenny pillow. 💔
Kyle, each day I wake up, I look for a new video from you. I was so happy to hear from you today. I cried with you. When I was in deep anguish, I tried to keep busy and when alone at night I prayed and listened to Christian music. It helped. You are never alone, know that. Glad to hear you are going to church. It may feel like you're in a tunnel and cant hear clearly, however, your soul is getting replenished. One day at a time. Jenny is no longer hurting and you will be united again. Know that. Praying for you always my dear friend! Love is powerful :)
Your fan! You are a gem and thats why Jenny chose you. You got this
Amen 🙏
This was so nice to say. 💕
❤
I check every day also. ❤
Reunited with Jennie and his new wife ? Lol dude there is nothing when you die. So I guess yeh he will be worm food one day to if that’s what you meant. We all will.
I’m so sad and heartbroken for this family. I only know Jenny from this channel and she feels like a best friend to me, (though I have never met her) to everyone and everyone loves her!
She is a very exceptional Soul. So kind, sensitive and caring. A true empath, a bright light in this world who has left so much Love in her wake for others to be able to carry her love and light forward. My deepest condolences to this entire family… you were all so blessed to have had her in your life. Shine on Jenny, spread your light throughout time and space. You are loved by so many because of your beautiful soul and shining light. ♥️
Kyle, we lost our 42 year old son in 2020. He was the youngest and we were very close. It was the day before Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving will never be the same.
I relate to shutting down.
It takes so much to live through each day, and it's been 3 years. I feel like I can't get through each day. I want you to know I followed every video and prayed for sweet Jenny. I pray for you and your precious children and the family. I think a support group will help you a lot. Love and hugs to you and your precious Ellis and Winnie.🙏🏼💔 Mari from Alabama.
I’m so very sorry for the loss of your wonderful son 🙏❤️🙏
Bless you ❤
I'm so sorry for your loss. I too lost my brother at age 42 in January 2022 . He was my baby brother. Last time I saw him was Thanksgiving 2021 when his kids and him came home. I don't like Thanksgiving or Christmas aa those were the best memories but I try to make the best of it and little by little each year I feel a little less angry and a little more thankful he was my brother.
So sorry for the tragic loss of your son
@@qutie1999 God bless you! 💔
I lost my 21 year old son to suicide 13 years ago. For the first few weeks I felt as though I was going to die. I refused to ask why. As time goes by you will slowly start to feel better as long as you allow yourself to heal. You will never forget her and will want people to talk about her. You must get through the “firsts”. But don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Allow yourself time to heal.
I lost my 27 yr old son 6 years ago and it's still my first thought every single morning. Love and many hugs to you.❤
I'm so sorry. Lost my only sister & brother to suicide within 8 months of each other! My dear mom is crushed after 8+ years! Our family is now different! 🤗
Losing your beautiful Jenny so close to the holiday season is even more excruciating. I've lost loved ones in October, November... I was just numb during Thanksgiving & Christmas. All of the "firsts" are so painful. You have family, friends, & counseling sessions to get you & your precious Winnie & Ellis through this sorrowful time, & we will continue to support you, as well. Hugs to you & your family... (((❤️)))
So sorry for your loss ❤
I'm so sorry for your loss 🙏🙏
I lost my husband when my sons were 6 & 8. Please use the support systems you have. Get involved in counseling. You will get through this. We’re all here for you. You can do this!
Lost my husband of 30 years to cancer, its so hard. Sending prayers 🙏