OK--just saying "She looked nervous" is OK, if you want OK writing. I would have her coffee cup shaking a bit, or if she was alone (in a building) maybe taking out her pack of cigs and smelling them, because she can't smoke just yet. Writing CAN be fun you know!
With regard to Mistake #4 - 'flappy hand syndrome': I believe it was Ernest Hemingway who said, "Never confuse movement with action." If a character is nervous simply say "she gulped" or a"her lip quivered". That's showing, not telling.
5,6,7 of those amateur flaws could have easily been classified as verbose. And long sentences are perfectly okay as long as they are constructed correctly. Also, important to distinguish pulp from literature, the agent here is describing rules pertaining to pulp i.e. simple prose. The omission of exclamation marks is an erroneous cliche - their overuse is a faut-pas, but an occasional one conveys effect. And finally, if you resort to using a plot tool you will never write anything original and your book will be indistinguishable from thousands of others.
plot tool? What are you talking about? Plot is good, but what is a "plot tool"? Btw, the correct spelling (I suspect you know this and it's a typo) is "faux pas."
The way I make sure I've used the right "it's/its" is I sound out "it is" whenever I see an It's/its. If it makes sense in the sentence to say "it is" then "it's is correct.
Even more genius though, was my childhood method for getting correct to/too. Replace to/too with phonetic sound of 'tuh', like you're saying the word quickly, then if the sentence still sounds right in your head, then you use to, if it does not, then you use too. This really should be taught in all schools, and me getting the credit for realising it.
Very useful. #19, RanDom CapiTalisaTions (sic): I recently read a book written by a friend where she persisted in using a capital M for Mum in the middle of a sentence. It irked me somewhat. I looked into this and found out that the following two sentences; "I took my mum shopping" and "I took Mum shopping" are correct. The first because mum is a common noun and the second because Mum is a proper noun, replacing her name. It's not something I had encountered before. I re-read her book and found out she was right 50% of the time.
long sentences are cool as long as they are coherent and used not too often. I use lots of long sentences in my books, I like them, and I don't really find problems reading or writing them, but I know some readers do. It's mostly an author preference most of the times tbh
Agree with the vast majority of these, but not the "She looked nervous" one. If I want to be told, "She looked nervous," I'll listen to a radio play :P. Where description becomes a problem is when the novice writer overdoes it. But typically, showing isn't the problem, telling is.
#4 Flappy hand syndrome @2:30 The example given @2:59 is overwritten, but I agree. The solution is to simplify the showing, rather than keeping the telling, which is mistake #26. Perhaps: "Her hands twitched."
"She drew a line through every adjective in the submitted article from a meeting of the Florist Enthusiasts, reducing it's word count by half." T Pratchett in "The Truth" a story somewhat about a news paper.
Mistake number eleven: "Did you notice the writer of the note used five exclamation marks together? A clear sign of a person who wears his underpants over his head." Pratchett (again) in "Masquerade" a story somewhat about The Phantom of the Opera, but seen through the looking glass.
It's unfortunate you didn't insert title cards with the suggested corrections, just the mistakes. Flashing examples of bad writing are impactful and memorable and always a good choice for these kinds of videos, but a specimen of how it would've preferably been written will accentuate those qualities even more (with the voice-over of course). Simply verbalizing the critiques also leaves a hanging feeling in the viewer, who most likely anticipated reading the improved version. "Show, don't tell;" applies to the visual language too. Other nitpicks: the quality of the audio recording could use a bump up. That lamp is distracting and would've been better turned off or even not included at all. Overall, despite those flaws, this is still an informative and helpful episode. Thanks for sharing.
I watch these videos and sometimes they help, and sometimes they seem too restrictive. Don't start in bed, or a hospital, or with a dream. Why? Because it turns off the reader or the publisher? I've NEVER opened a book, read the first page, thought "another dream sequence", and shut the book. I open books, start reading and if it is interesting, continue reading. I see, don't make the first chapter too complicated, which reads to me as, assume your reader is simpleminded and can only understand simple things. I see, don't change perspectives, yet my all time most loved book is Dune, which broke this rule numerous times. They are yet again trying to make this book into a movie. I see, show, don't tell, then see tell, don't show. I see don't show too much character movement, then see don't have talking heads. How about just saying make the story FLOW naturally so the reader don't notice. I'm reading Truthwitch at the moment, and to me it jars because the characters never walk or run; they stomp, stride, saunter, march, lope, twirl. They do things I have to get a dictionary out to understand. What's wrong with just walking or running? I see too much in the way of conflicting directives.
Ffs.... 1. Decide what your story is. 2. Write an interesting, true sentence. 3. Follow that with another interesting, true sentence. 4. Keep in this way until your story is told. All other rules be damned.
To follow my previous comment, favorite opening in a book comes from Joe Hill's Horns: "Ignatius Martin Parrish spent the night drunk and doing terrible things. He woke the next morning with a headache, put his hands to his temples, and felt something unfamiliar, a pair of knobbly pointed protuberances."
@Sam Pem Back when only talented writers wrote, i.e., before computers, authors were free to write however the fuck they wanted. Then the herd showed up and hammered all the stock beginnings into present cliches. Worse, the author-agent dynamic changed; Now writers have to kiss agents' asses rather than vice versa as before.
Although dune is a genre defining book of a generation, the example doesn’t quite hold up here. Dune was written in 1965. Writing has changed since then, as weird as that sounds.
He stared at the ceiling from the huge, green bed, the matching gossamer curtains framing the white expanse. Knowing from experience that the corpses strewn around the room wouldn’t begin to smell for several hours, he let himself doze. How’s that for a bed hook?
The second sentence is good. The first one sounds a bit overdone. Does it matter that the bed is green, or the gossamer curtains match? I'd have the characters look casually through the green gossamer curtains at the corpses in the second sentence, or something like that.
The idea behind the advice is that if the character is speaking as if they've used one, you don't need to use one. If you need to use one, then you're patching up a defect. In theory.
I like exclamation points depending on the context. Yelling to be heard and yelling in a panic are not the same thing so I use them to distinguish the emotional context. This comes from my own life as I've been yelled at for a great many reason. I think this comes down to a writers style and taste though I do warn people you probably want to place some strick rules on when you can and can not use them. I use said to but that is only if the emotions are not clearly prevalent. Otherwise I'm going to use expressive words like exclaimed, retorted, and inquired. Mix them up, they give context without the reader having to be told they felt excited. Showing is always better than telling. Oh and the adverbs the LY words. Unless they actually change the context of the action don't use them also make sure a better word does not exist. Smiling widely is also called grinning. Exclaimed excitingly, just say exclaimed because it's context suggest being excited.
Very helpful. All this time, I thought it was me, the reader, who couldn't manage to keep the 10 characters straight I was introduced to in the 1st chapter.
Despite my experience, I still find I make at least one totally bone-headed amateur mistake every bloody time. Aggravating. But this is a great vid. Thanks.
@damian winkler For me it was writing an entire eight hundred word scene about a tree (spanning two thousand years) as a single sentence. I'd prefaced it with, "Okay, I'll give you a single sentenced summary," so I couldn't buy any periods.
I skimmed this while eating (there is a book calling to me that needs to be read.) But mistake 9 it/it's and mistake 19 random capitalization, are both things I struggle with. So I wanted to give some insight into why it happens for me. With the its/it's I thought I was misspelling a singular word that always had the apostrophe and I thought that way for long enough that it got into my muscle memory so while I’m typing I always reach for that key whenever I come across these words. With the random capitalization I’ve found that it’s actually a rhythm thing. You’re supposed to press space bar after every word but sentences can be different lengths. That doesn't work if you’re in the rhythm and after so many words I just feel the need to hold down shift for the start of a word. Having to use capitalization for names throws me off too. Good thing these are very easy to fix while editing (you just have to have a good eye)
These are more guidelines than rules. Writing is about style, and to create style, writers often break the rules. Just try not to demolish the rules while you're doing it.
Does your exclamation mark rule apply only to narration? Because I can see exclamation marks being applicable to dialog in many situations, especially if you want to use it occasionally instead of dialog tags like ", he yelled, she screamed, etc. BTW, I'm surprised you don't have more subscribers. This video is filled with great information for new writers.
Less is certainly more, but then you get wiseguys who scream "SHOW DON'T TELL!!!" when you concisely write "she was nervous" instead of showing the reader that she was nervous by describing her movements.
A bed is the perfect place to start a story if that's how your story needs to start. One of mine starts in a hospital bed with the protagonist waking up in a strange situation after a huge crash. It's literally impossible to start the story any other way that wouldn't be boring, stupid, and waste a whole bunch of time. As always, you use what tools you need get your story underway. And... over a space of 100 years, the same protagonist starts three different chapters in almost the exact same situation, albeit in very different circumstances. I agree however, that an ordinary bed on an ordinary day is practically the worst way to start a story, unless it is a story about beds. And I think I just had an idea for a shorty about beds!
Nice list. Thanks for sharing. But and observation regarding run-on sentences. Several great writers, like Thomas Pynchon and Cormac McCarthy, write many run-ons. McCarthy is more typical, running-on mostly while describing things, but I often wonder if Pynchon can write a simple sentence. All rules (or conventions) are made to be broken. Just break them intentionally.
Hi, I have recently completed my first novel and edited it. I wish I had found your video three weeks ago, it would have made my life easier. I have now subscribed and look forward to watching and learning more. Thank you.
As a virgin looking to break into publishing I was as nervous as a one armed school bus driver with an itchy bum and after watching this video my heart sunk like a WW2 submarine with a revolving front door and my spirit was broken into so many pieces you’d need the Hubble telescope to find the fuckin pieces, not to mention my hopes , before watching this my hopes would tell me that I can make it as a writer and now they tell I can eat three tubs of Ben and Jerry’s in one day . Don’t do this , don’t do that , don’t , don’t, don’t till the point we’re I don’t want to write but it’s been a dream of mine for years now and I will write my book for me and I will love it and I will be so proud of myself for achieving one of my dreams .......
Great list. The only one I gave myself a bad grade on was gaps between paragraphs. I use gaps between dialogue and narration to make the jump between the two obvious and it looks good to me. Is it really objectivly wrong to do it that way?
A lot of your advice is basic grammar and structure, but I also think agents are jaded and prejudge manuscripts ...by the way To Kill A Mockingbird was written by an amateur writer.
With regards to the 'weeping overload'' - what if you're writing a tragedy? A sad tale of neglect and abuse? Children cry, women cry, even men cry. Just curious.................
6:40 - It's = it is, yea we all get that, BUT isn't "it's" also possessive? If you're talking about the manuscript's chances (see how I used -'s- there?). The "it" is the manuscript. So "it's" works in that regard.
I've been watching writing help videos for years and this is the first time anyone's brought up #17 "weird paragraphs". Thank you so much, I just edited my draft to reflect this advice :)
If I may, here is a question that I have found deeply challenging. In common dialogue most people tend to make certain grammatical mistakes almost all the time. Here I am thinking of things such as the wrong use of the subjunctive ("I wish I was" rather than "I wish I were") or a confusion between less and fewer. To what degree should one intentionally allow such errors to sneak into the language of one's characters? Such errors make one's characters seem less refined and more down to earth, and yet my inner martinet shouts to correct such mistakes.
George Orwell wrote sentences that went on for a whole page and worked very well. Not all rules should be followed. Description of a character's physical affects in response to a situation is one way to show and not tell.
14:00 random capitalisations are really popular with angry Twitter types haha. Look at some Donald Trump stuff. I think it indicates someone is aware that rules of grammar exist and that words have power to influence, but doesn't know what those rules are, so they make it up and hope it looks powerful all the same.
great video! I'm on draft nr 2 of first novel - happy to say I've shaved off 20%. I'm still reading through it and although some passages merit a re-write, I'm very much aware of desired length. Thanks for sharing this video. It makes so much sense.
"Exclamation points don't really feel like fiction the way it is written today". "One in a 100,000 words is ok." Definitely your personal opinion peeking through there. Also the crying thing. You acknowledged it has been 50 years and your charachters cried 3 times in the whole book and a lot of sad stuff happens but you felt the need to change it because your (one) editor said it was a lot of crying? MAn. I really have to sift the wheat from the chaf with this video. Thanks for sharing. Quite a bit of wheat here still.
the whole knocked outta a story thing confuses me as a concept. I can be deep in a story and react to stuff outside the story as needed, such as walking where there are people around me and stop as person in front does without looking. so if you are meaning losing where a person loses their spot on page; then I get that.
Kody Tiffany it means that the characters or world do something that confirms to the readers that they’re not real. It exposes the puppet master behind the curtain of the story. Like a plot hole or character moment that makes you think “this is a mistake or uncharacteristic choice on the part of the author, and not just something happening in this fictional world.”
Traditional journalists like Stephen King were trained to write leanly to save space in newspapers. Contemporary journalists are the opposite. They pad out online articles as much as possible, putting the info the reader came for at the end in order to increase their time on the webpage to generate more ad revenue and improve search engine optimization. It's honestly killing the art form.
#15 Only Mojo Jojo, can talk as Mojo Jojo repeating re-utterances in 3rd person as he speaks to 3 people about himself Mojo Jojo. That character's unique speech pattern is fine for one character as a trait. Any other time does seem worse than amateur to me. (Mojo Jojo is from Power Puff Girls if you did not know or remember)
I've never had any problem with run-on sentences. In fact, I do like them, both as a reader and a writer. The key is they must be constructed well, using the appropriate punctuation - and they must make sense, in regard to being very closely connected to each other for the thought(s) being expressed. Run-on sentences can also be very creative. I see professional writers use them well, in fiction as well as in nonfiction. Of course, as with any good thing, they can be overused, and as a writer you don't want to do this.
Maybe I missed the point, but what does "women's fiction" mean and why is your (or everyone's?) assumption that it will be very very long? Is this a genre I'm not familiar with?
@Sam Pem Back when only talented writers wrote, i.e., before computers, authors were free to write however the fuck they wanted. Then the herd showed up and hammered all the stock beginnings into present cliches. Worse, the author-agent dynamic changed; Now writers have to kiss agents' asses rather than vice versa as before.
Great video, but with the myriad of alternative possibilities you could remove the 2 dummies book off the bookshelf behind you and replace them with something else lol.
Most of these I’ve been able to incorporate but I still have a problem with head hopping. I delineate those segments in any chapter by using ++++++ as a bridge but I see no easy way to change perspectives in any other way
I've never seen a novel where the first paragraph is indented.. and The Girl on the Train uses brackets (and that sold quite a few copies), so I'll keep my brackets in :) That aside, some good advice (Y)
I’m not a pro; that’s for sure. These are great guidelines, sternly delivered, tersely explained-great for starters getting started...but, probably, not for experts.
Many books start with a character IN BED? IN BED? You cannot be serious, surely? I have never read a book that starts with a character in bed and I read so many. What was I missing.
Yes, well. I caught a couple of mistakes in your description above. "they’ll (and your readers) will" and "as a writer, that are" Even the best writers make mistakes.
Nothing wrong with starting in bed, but it implies a character who is passive and introspective (sequel) and the first scene should shift rapidly into goal/conflict, which probably isnt in bed but later.
#4 Flappy-hand syndrome "Why couldn't you just say: 'She looked nervous.'"?
Because every other writing advice says: "Show don't tell!"
but there's a mid-term
@afootineachworld Most say "always".
OK--just saying "She looked nervous" is OK, if you want OK writing. I would have her coffee cup shaking a bit, or if she was alone (in a building) maybe taking out her pack of cigs and smelling them, because she can't smoke just yet. Writing CAN be fun you know!
@@JamesSaintRave Isn't that exactly flappy-hand syndrome?
@@schwarzerritter5724 I am not sure what you mean--I was trying to keep folks from "floppy-writing syndrome". Ha! I do it every day.
With regard to Mistake #4 - 'flappy hand syndrome': I believe it was Ernest Hemingway who said, "Never confuse movement with action." If a character is nervous simply say "she gulped" or a"her lip quivered". That's showing, not telling.
and Ernest was the MASTER of long, run-on sentences... lol
There's some good advice here. The thing that saddens me, though, is that a lot of this stuff should be taught in grade school.
They do except they didn't pay attention.
My school doesn’t
Every good English teacher does.
Jeremy Heartriter2.0 my school doesn’t have English class
It is, at least it was when I went (90s 😭), people forget or, maybe didn’t do that well in those classes but still enjoy writing. 💚
"Periods are free. Make use of them." Awesome
Read Keith Laumer's Retief the Galactic Diplomat books. A paragraph is often one sentence and it flows naturally.
Rule: Try not to begin with characters in bed.
Me: My character begins in a hospital gurney.
Rule: Avoid the white room.
Me: 👁️👄👁️
😆
Am I the only one that noticed we never saw the card for Mistake #22?
Shhhhhh.... XD
22 Mistakes that Scream Amateur Video Editor
No, you’re not the only one who noticed.
Slide for Mistake #22 is a mistake. It Is A Repetition Of Mistake #21!!!!!
There were cards?
Having one character notice another character's physical appearance sits amongst the best solutions to problem 24 I've ever read.
I'm a confident writer and this video is honestly helpful
5,6,7 of those amateur flaws could have easily been classified as verbose. And long sentences are perfectly okay as long as they are constructed correctly. Also, important to distinguish pulp from literature, the agent here is describing rules pertaining to pulp
i.e. simple prose. The omission of exclamation marks is an erroneous cliche - their overuse is a faut-pas, but an occasional one conveys effect. And finally, if you resort to using a plot tool you will never write anything original and your book will be indistinguishable from thousands of others.
plot tool? What are you talking about? Plot is good, but what is a "plot tool"?
Btw, the correct spelling (I suspect you know this and it's a typo) is "faux pas."
I have a problem with run-on sentences: sometimes I like them. A bunch of short sentences feels clipped.
I've learned the rules of grammar are to be broken, with discrection, in order to create style.
i like long sentences
Mistake #8: What if I have my character start out... UNDER the bed. >:)
I didn't actually do this, just trying to put a new spin on it.
LOL!!! XDD
A monster character that spies on people underneath kid’s beds, interesting
@@Superkid33 monsters inc. basically
The way I make sure I've used the right "it's/its" is I sound out "it is" whenever I see an It's/its. If it makes sense in the sentence to say "it is" then "it's is correct.
Same with many others like it. Helps a lot.
I always remembered that "yours" is possessive and has no apostrophe, just like the possessive "its."
Even more genius though, was my childhood method for getting correct to/too. Replace to/too with phonetic sound of 'tuh', like you're saying the word quickly, then if the sentence still sounds right in your head, then you use to, if it does not, then you use too. This really should be taught in all schools, and me getting the credit for realising it.
Very useful. #19, RanDom CapiTalisaTions (sic): I recently read a book written by a friend where she persisted in using a capital M for Mum in the middle of a sentence. It irked me somewhat. I looked into this and found out that the following two sentences; "I took my mum shopping" and "I took Mum shopping" are correct. The first because mum is a common noun and the second because Mum is a proper noun, replacing her name. It's not something I had encountered before. I re-read her book and found out she was right 50% of the time.
I’m beta reading a fantasy novel right now, and the poor girl has one giant compound sentence. I tried to help her, but she said she didn’t care.🤷🏻♀️
Same. Unfortunately the writer has pages and pages of info dumping and I’ve suggested to cut all of it 🙈
long sentences are cool as long as they are coherent and used not too often. I use lots of long sentences in my books, I like them, and I don't really find problems reading or writing them, but I know some readers do. It's mostly an author preference most of the times tbh
Agree with the vast majority of these, but not the "She looked nervous" one. If I want to be told, "She looked nervous," I'll listen to a radio play :P. Where description becomes a problem is when the novice writer overdoes it. But typically, showing isn't the problem, telling is.
#4 Flappy hand syndrome @2:30 The example given @2:59 is overwritten, but I agree. The solution is to simplify the showing, rather than keeping the telling, which is mistake #26. Perhaps: "Her hands twitched."
Yes, I completely agree. We are told, "Show, don't tell."
I like Great Scott!'s suggestion. It works really well.
"She drew a line through every adjective in the submitted article from a meeting of the Florist Enthusiasts, reducing it's word count by half." T Pratchett in "The Truth" a story somewhat about a news paper.
Mistake number eleven: "Did you notice the writer of the note used five exclamation marks together? A clear sign of a person who wears his underpants over his head." Pratchett (again) in "Masquerade" a story somewhat about The Phantom of the Opera, but seen through the looking glass.
its not it's :)
It's unfortunate you didn't insert title cards with the suggested corrections, just the mistakes. Flashing examples of bad writing are impactful and memorable and always a good choice for these kinds of videos, but a specimen of how it would've preferably been written will accentuate those qualities even more (with the voice-over of course). Simply verbalizing the critiques also leaves a hanging feeling in the viewer, who most likely anticipated reading the improved version. "Show, don't tell;" applies to the visual language too. Other nitpicks: the quality of the audio recording could use a bump up. That lamp is distracting and would've been better turned off or even not included at all. Overall, despite those flaws, this is still an informative and helpful episode. Thanks for sharing.
I watch these videos and sometimes they help, and sometimes they seem too restrictive.
Don't start in bed, or a hospital, or with a dream. Why? Because it turns off the reader or the publisher? I've NEVER opened a book, read the first page, thought "another dream sequence", and shut the book. I open books, start reading and if it is interesting, continue reading.
I see, don't make the first chapter too complicated, which reads to me as, assume your reader is simpleminded and can only understand simple things.
I see, don't change perspectives, yet my all time most loved book is Dune, which broke this rule numerous times. They are yet again trying to make this book into a movie.
I see, show, don't tell, then see tell, don't show.
I see don't show too much character movement, then see don't have talking heads. How about just saying make the story FLOW naturally so the reader don't notice. I'm reading Truthwitch at the moment, and to me it jars because the characters never walk or run; they stomp, stride, saunter, march, lope, twirl. They do things I have to get a dictionary out to understand. What's wrong with just walking or running?
I see too much in the way of conflicting directives.
Ffs....
1. Decide what your story is.
2. Write an interesting, true sentence.
3. Follow that with another interesting, true sentence.
4. Keep in this way until your story is told.
All other rules be damned.
To follow my previous comment, favorite opening in a book comes from Joe Hill's Horns:
"Ignatius Martin Parrish spent the night drunk and doing terrible things. He woke the next morning with a headache, put his hands to his temples, and felt something unfamiliar, a pair of knobbly pointed protuberances."
I assume my reader is smarter than me, so trust they'll know hard verbs.
@Sam Pem Back when only talented writers wrote, i.e., before computers, authors were free to write however the fuck they wanted. Then the herd showed up and hammered all the stock beginnings into present cliches. Worse, the author-agent dynamic changed; Now writers have to kiss agents' asses rather than vice versa as before.
Although dune is a genre defining book of a generation, the example doesn’t quite hold up here. Dune was written in 1965. Writing has changed since then, as weird as that sounds.
"Periods are free, make use of them" Brilliant. #15, eliminate and abolish redundancy! Harry's Friday e-mail in video form. Great seeing you Harry.
He stared at the ceiling from the huge, green bed, the matching gossamer curtains framing the white expanse. Knowing from experience that the corpses strewn around the room wouldn’t begin to smell for several hours, he let himself doze.
How’s that for a bed hook?
The second sentence is good. The first one sounds a bit overdone. Does it matter that the bed is green, or the gossamer curtains match? I'd have the characters look casually through the green gossamer curtains at the corpses in the second sentence, or something like that.
Surely exclamation marks can be used to show the character is speaking as if they’ve used one.
The idea behind the advice is that if the character is speaking as if they've used one, you don't need to use one. If you need to use one, then you're patching up a defect. In theory.
I like exclamation points depending on the context. Yelling to be heard and yelling in a panic are not the same thing so I use them to distinguish the emotional context. This comes from my own life as I've been yelled at for a great many reason. I think this comes down to a writers style and taste though I do warn people you probably want to place some strick rules on when you can and can not use them. I use said to but that is only if the emotions are not clearly prevalent. Otherwise I'm going to use expressive words like exclaimed, retorted, and inquired. Mix them up, they give context without the reader having to be told they felt excited. Showing is always better than telling. Oh and the adverbs the LY words. Unless they actually change the context of the action don't use them also make sure a better word does not exist. Smiling widely is also called grinning. Exclaimed excitingly, just say exclaimed because it's context suggest being excited.
Very helpful. All this time, I thought it was me, the reader, who couldn't manage to keep the 10 characters straight I was introduced to in the 1st chapter.
I have some work to do.
I'm never satisfied with my work
Despite my experience, I still find I make at least one totally bone-headed amateur mistake every bloody time. Aggravating. But this is a great vid. Thanks.
@damian winkler For me it was writing an entire eight hundred word scene about a tree (spanning two thousand years) as a single sentence. I'd prefaced it with, "Okay, I'll give you a single sentenced summary," so I couldn't buy any periods.
I skimmed this while eating (there is a book calling to me that needs to be read.) But mistake 9 it/it's and mistake 19 random capitalization, are both things I struggle with. So I wanted to give some insight into why it happens for me.
With the its/it's I thought I was misspelling a singular word that always had the apostrophe and I thought that way for long enough that it got into my muscle memory so while I’m typing I always reach for that key whenever I come across these words.
With the random capitalization I’ve found that it’s actually a rhythm thing. You’re supposed to press space bar after every word but sentences can be different lengths. That doesn't work if you’re in the rhythm and after so many words I just feel the need to hold down shift for the start of a word. Having to use capitalization for names throws me off too.
Good thing these are very easy to fix while editing (you just have to have a good eye)
When you talk about exclamation marks, surely you are not referring to dialogue, but narration? Surely it is okay to use them in direct speech?
I hope so because how else are you going to be able to make the emotion palpable?
These are more guidelines than rules. Writing is about style, and to create style, writers often break the rules. Just try not to demolish the rules while you're doing it.
Does your exclamation mark rule apply only to narration? Because I can see exclamation marks being applicable to dialog in many situations, especially if you want to use it occasionally instead of dialog tags like ", he yelled, she screamed, etc. BTW, I'm surprised you don't have more subscribers. This video is filled with great information for new writers.
Exclamation marks do NOT belong in narration nor dialogue, and neither do capitalized words ! ! !
Less is certainly more, but then you get wiseguys who scream "SHOW DON'T TELL!!!" when you concisely write "she was nervous" instead of showing the reader that she was nervous by describing her movements.
A bed is the perfect place to start a story if that's how your story needs to start. One of mine starts in a hospital bed with the protagonist waking up in a strange situation after a huge crash. It's literally impossible to start the story any other way that wouldn't be boring, stupid, and waste a whole bunch of time. As always, you use what tools you need get your story underway.
And... over a space of 100 years, the same protagonist starts three different chapters in almost the exact same situation, albeit in very different circumstances.
I agree however, that an ordinary bed on an ordinary day is practically the worst way to start a story, unless it is a story about beds. And I think I just had an idea for a shorty about beds!
Yes, I always enjoyed my work at the Department of Redundancy Department.
This was great...and unintentionally hilarious.
youtube mistakes to avoid: showing the wrong slide like at 15:50
Nice list. Thanks for sharing. But and observation regarding run-on sentences. Several great writers, like Thomas Pynchon and Cormac McCarthy, write many run-ons. McCarthy is more typical, running-on mostly while describing things, but I often wonder if Pynchon can write a simple sentence.
All rules (or conventions) are made to be broken. Just break them intentionally.
Hi, I have recently completed my first novel and edited it. I wish I had found your video three weeks ago, it would have made my life easier. I have now subscribed and look forward to watching and learning more. Thank you.
Congratulations on finishing your first novel! I hope you receive a great publishing contract.
This man reminds me of my high school English teacher
Very informative. Thank you!
As a virgin looking to break into publishing I was as nervous as a one armed school bus driver with an itchy bum and after watching this video my heart sunk like a WW2 submarine with a revolving front door and my spirit was broken into so many pieces you’d need the Hubble telescope to find the fuckin pieces, not to mention my hopes , before watching this my hopes would tell me that I can make it as a writer and now they tell I can eat three tubs of Ben and Jerry’s in one day .
Don’t do this , don’t do that , don’t , don’t, don’t till the point we’re I don’t want to write but it’s been a dream of mine for years now and I will write my book for me and I will love it and I will be so proud of myself for achieving one of my dreams .......
Wonderful. Just what I need right now -- a large slice of humour.
Well... I guess some of my stories are in trouble. XD
Stephen King was very briefly a student journalist. He was teacher before becoming a full time writer. Tip 26: Research.
Great list. The only one I gave myself a bad grade on was gaps between paragraphs. I use gaps between dialogue and narration to make the jump between the two obvious and it looks good to me. Is it really objectivly wrong to do it that way?
A lot of your advice is basic grammar and structure, but I also think agents are jaded and prejudge manuscripts ...by the way To Kill A Mockingbird was written by an amateur writer.
With regards to the 'weeping overload'' - what if you're writing a tragedy? A sad tale of neglect and abuse? Children cry, women cry, even men cry. Just curious.................
Stephen King was not a journalist, he was a teacher. And Mr speaker, you talk to fast, that is a sign of someone stressed out.
I agree, people tell me to slow down when I'm talking an I never understood why till I heard this guy.
6:40 - It's = it is, yea we all get that, BUT isn't "it's" also possessive? If you're talking about the manuscript's chances (see how I used -'s- there?). The "it" is the manuscript. So "it's" works in that regard.
Fabulous information. Thank you!
Thank you! Really informative information.
I've been watching writing help videos for years and this is the first time anyone's brought up #17 "weird paragraphs". Thank you so much, I just edited my draft to reflect this advice :)
If I may, here is a question that I have found deeply challenging.
In common dialogue most people tend to make certain grammatical mistakes almost all the time. Here I am thinking of things such as the wrong use of the subjunctive ("I wish I was" rather than "I wish I were") or a confusion between less and fewer. To what degree should one intentionally allow such errors to sneak into the language of one's characters? Such errors make one's characters seem less refined and more down to earth, and yet my inner martinet shouts to correct such mistakes.
Oakheart you should write like your characters talk....
Mistake No.22...check yer flashcards before uploading lol!
I'll get me coat...
George Orwell wrote sentences that went on for a whole page and worked very well. Not all rules should be followed. Description of a character's physical affects in response to a situation is one way to show and not tell.
@@remediosdesantahildegarda Read it again. Not only will it be a joy to do, but you'll find what you're looking for.
Hello, Sir. I'm really grateful for this absolutely helpful video. I was actually surprised to find that I made many of the mistakes you'd mentioned.
Remove "absolutely" from "helpful video". It's an unnecessary adverb. Trust your verbs; they deserve respect.
14:00 random capitalisations are really popular with angry Twitter types haha. Look at some Donald Trump stuff. I think it indicates someone is aware that rules of grammar exist and that words have power to influence, but doesn't know what those rules are, so they make it up and hope it looks powerful all the same.
great video! I'm on draft nr 2 of first novel - happy to say I've shaved off 20%. I'm still reading through it and although some passages merit a re-write, I'm very much aware of desired length. Thanks for sharing this video. It makes so much sense.
Don't agree with all of these. Most, but not all. But I intentionally do a few of these at times.
Of course EXCLAMATION POINTS are part of writing and even conversation! Why would you leave them out?
"Exclamation points don't really feel like fiction the way it is written today". "One in a 100,000 words is ok." Definitely your personal opinion peeking through there. Also the crying thing. You acknowledged it has been 50 years and your charachters cried 3 times in the whole book and a lot of sad stuff happens but you felt the need to change it because your (one) editor said it was a lot of crying? MAn. I really have to sift the wheat from the chaf with this video. Thanks for sharing. Quite a bit of wheat here still.
the whole knocked outta a story thing confuses me as a concept.
I can be deep in a story and react to stuff outside the story as needed, such as walking where there are people around me and stop as person in front does without looking. so if you are meaning losing where a person loses their spot on page; then I get that.
Kody Tiffany it means that the characters or world do something that confirms to the readers that they’re not real. It exposes the puppet master behind the curtain of the story.
Like a plot hole or character moment that makes you think “this is a mistake or uncharacteristic choice on the part of the author, and not just something happening in this fictional world.”
Traditional journalists like Stephen King were trained to write leanly to save space in newspapers. Contemporary journalists are the opposite. They pad out online articles as much as possible, putting the info the reader came for at the end in order to increase their time on the webpage to generate more ad revenue and improve search engine optimization. It's honestly killing the art form.
Thank you so much for uncovering these 25 mistakes. I needed the information.
#15
Only Mojo Jojo, can talk as Mojo Jojo
repeating
re-utterances
in 3rd person as he speaks to 3 people about himself Mojo Jojo.
That character's unique speech pattern is fine for one character as a trait. Any other time does seem worse than amateur to me.
(Mojo Jojo is from Power Puff Girls if you did not know or remember)
Using an exclamation point in dialogue is very useful and should be used to help describe anger or excitement.
I agree, but with measure
afootineachworld In your example, it would depend on the context.
No exclamation point when I expect one is jarring.
Thank you good sir. This was a great video
I've never had any problem with run-on sentences. In fact, I do like them, both as a reader and a writer. The key is they must be constructed well, using the appropriate punctuation - and they must make sense, in regard to being very closely connected to each other for the thought(s) being expressed.
Run-on sentences can also be very creative. I see professional writers use them well, in fiction as well as in nonfiction.
Of course, as with any good thing, they can be overused, and as a writer you don't want to do this.
Question! I have an excitable potty-mouth of a character. Are exclamation points valid when used in spoken dialogue, or even internal monologue?
Character cries too much every 4 pages..... I suppose SpongeBob is amateurish as he is always crying. I suppose there is too much of something,
This was a great video.thank you for posting.
Show, don't tell.
Maybe I missed the point, but what does "women's fiction" mean and why is your (or everyone's?) assumption that it will be very very long? Is this a genre I'm not familiar with?
@Sam Pem Back when only talented writers wrote, i.e., before computers, authors were free to write however the fuck they wanted. Then the herd showed up and hammered all the stock beginnings into present cliches. Worse, the author-agent dynamic changed; Now writers have to kiss agents' asses rather than vice versa as before.
Exclamation points eliminate the possibility of irony. "No." vs. No!"
Great video, but with the myriad of alternative possibilities you could remove the 2 dummies book off the bookshelf behind you and replace them with something else lol.
Most of these I’ve been able to incorporate but I still have a problem with head hopping. I delineate those segments in any chapter by using ++++++ as a bridge but I see no easy way to change perspectives in any other way
George RR Martin swaps perspectives between chapters
I do enjoy the content but the audio is not great, especially for Americans struggling to understand the British English.
Does the exclusion of exclamation marks include character dialogue?
If I say, "She looked nervous," I'm telling, not showing.
Now I can't get the image of cloaked horses out of my head.
>_
I find it funny that many of these "mistakes" are found in almost every best selling book.
I've never seen a novel where the first paragraph is indented.. and The Girl on the Train uses brackets (and that sold quite a few copies), so I'll keep my brackets in :)
That aside, some good advice (Y)
What I found after avoiding all these mistakes is a plain clean series of papers with the worst fiction I can make 😒😂😂
Samuel Beckett just broke that one white room, eh?
I’m not a pro; that’s for sure. These are great guidelines, sternly delivered, tersely explained-great for starters getting started...but, probably, not for experts.
2:15 The horses galloped across the golden sea. Same idea, with more power. Word vomits are not fun to read either especially if it's an action scene.
#22 text on the monitor is #21 repeated.
I like your videos but sometimes you talk too fast and so I don't understand everything.
Many books start with a character IN BED? IN BED? You cannot be serious, surely? I have never read a book that starts with a character in bed and I read so many. What was I missing.
*books by new writers
Presumably, you have not read them because they were never published.
@@Camphorous well thanks for this - I would NEVER have guessed that.
I know one genre of books that starts in bed. XD
@@t.thomas8919 :) and probably finishes in bed too? That genre of books probably have characters that hardly leave their beds :)
Very much enjoyed Harry. Very helpful. Shame about the slide whoopsy at point 22 but you are forgiven. Keep 'em coming. JH.
How does Finnegan's Wake exist?
Yes, well. I caught a couple of mistakes in your description above. "they’ll (and your readers) will" and "as a writer, that are" Even the best writers make mistakes.
That's why we have editors!
@@carlajenkins1990 The goal of any writer is to cut out the middle man; and exclamation marks.
@@77777aol How cleaver. You had to get in that little dig about exclamation marks---just to get in that snide remark.
@@carlajenkins1990 I leave the cleaver to the editor; snide or otherwise.
Would have helped to see a written example of these mistakes corrected.
Really great and simple advice
I appreciate your content, but what is going on with your teeth?
This is a very useful video.I am a new writer and such good advice is good enough to watch more than once.
Is it me or does anybody else have a hard time understanding what this guy is saying?
Thankyou for the great advice
he's talking about 'the road' by duvall
One good advice: turn on your microphone 😂
I know we can just say "she was nervous" instead of writing a whole paragraph explaining but isn't "show, don't tell" what we want to achieve?
Nothing wrong with starting in bed, but it implies a character who is passive and introspective (sequel) and the first scene should shift rapidly into goal/conflict, which probably isnt in bed but later.
How I would rewrite #1: The boys' cloaks flapped in the wind, their horses powering on through the sandy terrain.
AS their horses powered through the sand, maybe?