How Outer Wilds Shook Me To My Core
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- Опубликовано: 22 май 2024
- This video does not contain spoilers for the Echoes of the Eye DLC.
Hey y'all. This is a video about my experience playing Outer Wilds. It showed me things I never could have expected a video game would show me, and I highly suggest you give the game a shot before watching this video all my the way through, as I cover the entire story from beginning to end. Heed the warning in Part 1.
In this video, I discuss a deeply personal matter that may affect how or when content is produced in the future. Please be respectful when responding to this. If you want to see this portion without Outer Wilds spoilers you can navigate to it use this chapters below (25:41 TW: Loss)
Chapters:
0:00 Part 1 - Curiosity
3:28 Part 2 - Learning
15:19 Part 3 - Application
23:07 Final Voyage
25:41 TW: Loss
32:06 Spoilers Here
34:50 How Outer Wilds Shakes You
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Thanks to HeavyEyed and Razbuten, as well as Javier (actor) and Rod (producer)
#OuterWilds #wizawhat 
Игры
It's the kind of thing that makes you glad you stopped and smelled the pine trees along the way, you know? - Gabbro
Ahh, while I didn't end up "winning" the role, I auditioned for Gabbro for the Voice Acting mod and recorded that line many times and it and a lot of lines really stuck with me way more after literally reading them out loud
Thank you so much for this video! The saddest part about Outer Wilds is that there's no way to experience it again, but this video feels like it lets me do just that. It felt like I was sitting down with a good friend and listening to the unique stories and experiences they had with the game! It's a video I feel like I've been subconsciously begging for forever, so thank you!
My goal is always to connect with the viewer just like that, so thank you!
Give it 2-3 years. Hopefully by then you'll have forgotten the details, only remembering the broad strokes. At least, that's what it was like for me, which has let me go back into the game and relive it
That really is a big part of it. Outer Wilds is a game about loss, and once it's over it's over. The first time you play, the world feels exciting and new and alive. But when you come back to it, it feels like reliving a memory. The end of the universe in-game really feels like the end of a universe.
Check out Soviet Womble's playthrough if you haven't already! Similar vibes.
Once I learned what happens I thought the goal of the game was to stop it and then was absolutely devastated when I started to realize that wasn't going to happen. Then I just wanted to be able to lead other characters so they could experience something important to them in at least one timeline. (Specifically Reibeck, he just had to go down a wall and across a bridge and he would see the ancient civilization! I know he was scared, but it was a pretty safe trip before the bridge is broken.)
I got to that place. I went to Gabbro and while the game couldn't process his response I talked about it with him which was really me talking to a version of him inside my head. It helped but it was still such a difficult place to go to mentally.
I guess I was the only "selfish" player, as i got spoiled about how the sun has no stopping, so it became my life goal to see the eye, seriously the motivation to keep playing was "I wanna see that Eye" and I was not disappointed
To me the message of Outer Wilds is this:
Death is inevitable. No matter how hard you try, no matter how much you learn, you can not change this one fact of life.
One way or another, death will arrive.
But it doesnt have to be the end.
More like a simple: enjoy the journey, the destination is secondary, to me.
@@DamianSzajnowski ^ What a Feldspar here, amirite?
@@DamianSzajnowski Okay.. maybe more of a Gabbro on second thought.
This, to me, is the purpose of the sun station in the game. For many (probably most) players, the key goal of the game is to stop the sun going supernova - to save everyone - and this is built up through the plans of the nomai: the sun station causes the supernova so it can be turned off! But you get there and it failed. The sun is going to explode (you cannot stop a natural death of a star) it is inevitable. It is such a good twist I love this game
@@doublespoonco Yeah it preys on the players belief that you always are the hero that saves the day like in every other game. It's subversion on a massive scale.
I feel compelled to leave a comment here because I was literally weeping when this video ended. Thank you for sharing your most intimate experience with us. I wasn't expecting anything so personal, so soft and so timid when I clicked on this video, wishing to entertain myself a bit before plunging back into work, and before realizing that my fear and timidity of the notion of losing my cancered grandma could resonate so much with someone else. I keep dreaming of her these days in a rosy and retrospective way, myself being thousands miles away from her hospice in another country. And I have to admit that it's the same specious "hope" that calcifies my inner vast emotions. Your confession gives me strength, and like Outer Wilds, not the immediate exhilaration but a deeper crooning sound, soft but solacing, telling me that everyone should lives their life to the fullest in their own solar system before the sun demises. Thank you for everything!
I'm sorry for your loss, it must be very hard being so far away. Thank you so much for the kind words and I hope you continue to find solace
Hey everyone. If you're interested in playing Outer Wilds and want to hold off from watching this video due to spoilers, I made what I think is a pretty important announcement at 25:43. It may affect how often content releases on this channel in the future.
Good on you for having the courage man. Lost my dad in 2020 right as the pandemic started. Been trying to find any sort of feeling but it's all very locked up. Your message unlocked a small bit of it. Hope you're well, and your mum is as comfortable as she can be. From mine to yours, all the best.
If you haven't played echoes yet, you should. Face the fear and traverse the darkness to find truth in the light.
@@innodationproduction of the eye?
About that, i think i owe you an apology.
When you said that your Mom had recently decided to switch to Hospice Care and that thus all Hope was gone, i didn't feel compassion for you or sadness on your behalf or anything like that.
I felt Jealousy. Because, as stupid as this sounds, you had the "opportunity" to loose hope.
My Father, someone who was probably the healthiest person i ever knew (he literally once in my lifetime was sick for two days) got his "tumorous growth" (not sure if that's the correct english term) Diagnosis a day before his 50th Birthday. I was 15. We tried it first with surgery as the doctors werent even sure it was a malicious growth (cancer) at first. From the time of the diagnosis to the surgery (three weeks later), it had quadrupled in size and they couldn't cut it all out, so we switched to Chemotherapy. It helped slow the growth, but it was too late. My Dad died just seven months after that diagnosis, suddenly and without any significant signs beforehand. To this day i ask myself if it could have been avoided, had we immediately started with Chemotherapy and i still feel guilty, because he asked each of us their opinion and i was scared of the dangers of Chemotherapy.
That's why i was jealous. Because it felt like you had gotten, what was taken from me: A chance to loose hope and come to terms with the inevtiable.
I also think that this "missed opportunity" lead to my poor mental health in the last years and even still today, among other problems a significant fear of loss, going as far as waking up multiple times in the middle of the night to make sure my mom was still alive, when my mental health was doing really bad.
I am slowly recovering but it's still not easy, especially because it's extremely hard for me to talk about this. It's much easier to write.
Thus again, i want to apologize. Jealousy isn't exactly the appropriate reaction when someone tells you that a loved one is going to die.
Initially i wanted to write here that, while you couldn't help me, i hope that you could help someone else, but writing all this down, letting it all out actually helped. At least a little bit.
So thank you and i hope you can help more people in the future. Or even better: I hope that we'll one day find a way that noone will even need this kind of help anymore, because we have beaten cancer once and for all.
Thank you, and i'm sorry.
@@avsbes98I just read this text you posted 6 months ago. I hope your doing better ❤️🩹
Out of everyong I've seen talking about Outer Wilds, yours is the only analysis that I think got what is truly special about it.
What makes Outer Wilds special is the fact that through the complete freedom it gives to the player, it manages to become a mirror into one's own mind.
As a player searches for a meaning to all the information around them, they naturally start to see the game world as a sort of perfect metaphor for whatever they're thinking about at the moment.
It's truly magical, and a kind of feeling that no other game I have ever played has ever come close to replicating.
The other one that i think conveys something similar is razbutens video on the topic, but no one else pointed out how the game becomes a mirror for your own issues.
My grandpa just recently passed due to bone cancer. My uncle tried to OD the next day. And my father had a silent heart attack the following day. My friend recently told me to play outer wilds because it’s such a great game, and I love mysteries so I should love this game. I didn’t expect for it to teach me, about letting go. That it’s okay. I’ve always been someone who has despised change. I hate the thought of it. But this game challenged me to think a different way. And it showed me that change isn’t all bad. And that sometimes there is hope in loss. This game helped me through my grief of my grandfathers passing. Not a lot of games can do that. Spend every second with your mom. Whether it be a board game, tv show, or maybe simply making her favorite meal or telling her about your day. Hug your mom for me. Cause I never got to say or hug my grandpa before it took him. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the game, and I know sharing your pain wasn’t easy but thank you. We are hear for you, and we love you. ❤️❤️❤️
“It’s tempting to linger in this moment while every possibility still exists. But unless they are collapsed by an observer, they will never be more than possibilities.”
I think this quote at the very end of the game sums things up very nicely. When you’re not certain you want to move on, Solanum gives you these words. And I think this can be applied to your situation and many others. Thank you for sharing something so deep. I felt the same way when I played the game, and that reflection into yourself is the reason this game is amazing. You can run, and waste valuable time forever. Until you’re out of that time. Until you face things head on, and face the inevitable, your fears will never be anything more than possibilities. Time will never stop for anyone. But the journey and the way you spend that time is ultimately the most important part. Nothing lasts forever, and that’s ok. We may never get to experience some things that we wish to, and we may miss out on things we so desperately want to see or hold on to. But the important part is that we’re here right now, and we’re given this time and opportunity of life, love, fear, and even death as a gift. Your favorite movie would feel pointless without an ending. Your day at work can feel meaningless until you clock out and go on doing what you want to. And life would be meaningless without death. Uncertainty is in all things, but facing that discomfort is what makes everything you do in this life worth it. Thank you again for this video. This game is truly one of a kind!
My grandpa is on hospice. It's definitely not the same as what you are going through for me, but it's rough and I hope everything goes smoothly for your family. ❤️ My mom would relate more to you, especially since she is caring for him. But it is rough especially because he just wants to move on already and my mom doesn't like seeing him with so little motivation for life. Mostly I hurt for my mom.
Man, I may regret being spoiled by seeing this, but dammit Wiz, you are just a great storyteller! I just have to hear the stories!
And I feel for you about your mom, Wiz. My mom had throat cancer and she luckily conquered it, but her throat is a mess and has to feed using a tube mostly.
Thank you for being candid with us, dude. We are here for you.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna find a hammer and erase the spoilers from my head. *BONK*
I'm really glad your mom is okay man, thanks for the kind words
@@wizawhat *sending hugs *
Thank you for sharing your story.
The discovery in the Sun Station is one of acceptance. You learn there that the game is not about overcoming destruction and preventing loss, but about accepting it. Understanding how frail we are. After I got the powered core, and shut down the Ash Twin Project, and as the music started playing, I immediately understood that the safety net below me, that of sending my memories back in time, had been removed. I understood that the next time I died would be the last. And then I thought:
"Just like in real life."
And that thought, and the weight of the whole situation, accompanied me for the rest of my journey, and it's something no other game managed to come close to.
I wish I could watch this video, but I still need to play Outer Wilds :P
All good! I'd rather you play it then come watch this later
don't wait, just do
Probably my favorite thing to watch on RUclips are video essays like this. It's essays like this with so much heart, emotion, beauty, and meaning that truly resonate with me.
You've truly created something special here and I thank you for being willing to share it with all of us. Consider me a forever fan and I wish you and your mom all the best. ❤️
You are one of the most genuine, and truly human youtubers I have ever seen. Your relatable, your empathetic, your very well spoken, your content is well thought, and your skill of editing is phenomenal. You remind me that every one has struggles, many the same as my own, and many... many I wouldn't even know how to tackle on my own. At the same time you are a bastion of hope reminding us all that we don't have to go through anything alone. I'm soo sorry about your mother. I'm a complete stranger to you, and yet I feel deeply for you and your situation. I myself am 26 years old. I have a wife and 2 children. We have gone through our own trials and tribulations. I have grown numb to a lot of things through out my life so far as just a survival skill to just pull myself up and go through the day just to keep surviving. I may not be able to give you anything more than just my praise and encouragement. I have liked and subscribed to you, and I hope you never give up. I cant even begin to explain how this video made me feel. Just wow... Keep it up... and hopefully ill be seeing you around. Thank you for this video. Yes I love the outer wilds but sir you shook me too my core in 38:11.
Thank you so much for your support and kind words!
37:55 it was one year ago that you made this video. I sit at 2:30 in the morning watching this video having completed my story with outer wilds. I think about how you're doing in this moment, if you are healing from the loss, or still reeling from it. I think about my wife is sleeping in bed, knowing she has to be up in 3 1/2 hours to catch a flight for work. I think about how infinitely small we are, and that death is inevitable. And that's OK. Because in that inevitability, and existential dread that haunted me every waking hour for years of my life, I came out what outer wilds, realizing that it's OK. I felt my heart race, as I watched the universe die despite everything I tried. But in that death came music and new life. And I wasn't alone. I had those that I had gotten to know, and in that nonchalant way, they greeted the end in the beginning. I cried so hard. My face burned from the tears and my cheeks, a little sore. My wife didn't understand, she didn't understand why I was crying so hard. And I didn't have the words to describe that feeling of peace and love that washed over me. I hope that wherever you are in life right now, know that some random guy at 2:30 in the morning, watched your video, and found a kinship in you. He thought about you, hoping that you were at peace, that your fear had run its course, that you were able to smile again. Thank you for hearing me without even hearing a word. I know this is a long comment, and I apologize. So what I gain from outer wilds is that even in the inevitability of death, I can smile and love, and even if for only a fleeting moment, find peace.
Thank you for such a thoughtful comment.
reading this makes me think about how this game makes everyone want to talk about their experience . I don't know about you but Im almost angry that I can't put into words what the game makes me feel like
@@govanni2224 at times things can feel ineffable. I think there's some beauty in that. That means it was so powerful of an emotion that it became ineffable but you understood it.
Hey Wizawhat ! I don't even know where to begin. Your video spoke so deeply to me. It's been two month since I finished Outer Wilds and I can't seem to let this experience go away. This game shook me, brought tears to my eyes, tears of joy, nostalgia, relief, melancholia. It is strange how this game could reach to so many deep emotions.
But I must say that what I liked the most here, was how you approached this video. The emotional way of dealing with this content rather than just doing a scientific analysis was very touching. And I don't really know how to say this but it made a connection. I could relate to so many things you said, not only about the game but on a human scale too; the way of dealing with emotions, notably fear and axiety, the will to let yourself be vulnerable in front of others, to accept this part of you. It is almost as if I was speaking to myself for a little bit.
Anyway, maybe it is a little bit silly, but I wanted to share this feeling with you. I wanted to thank you for sharing your experience so honestly. I wanted to wish you the best going through all these adventures life has in store for us, good or bad. And to let you know that what you do and who you are can even reach to a random person like me, probably miles and miles away from you, but still in the same Solar System, crying over the same game ! ;)
cheers man, I wish you all the best
Not silly at all! I'm glad we can share this experience together. It's why I made the video! Thank you so much for your comment ☺️
Wow... I've gone through something so similar and I think its the reason Outer Wilds hit me so hard. I lost my mother to cancer when I was 16. I'm 24 now and still feel it but after playing this masterpiece it definitely helped and made me understand that finality is a normality. Thank you for sharing your story and making this amazing video. Wishing you the best
I finished this game last night and now I'm watching videos about to know how others felt while playing this absolute masterpiece. I was not expecting this tho. Every video I watched touches on an existential matter and emotional rollercoasters, but in a more generic way. This is one is so personal, so beautiful and so painful. I'm very sorry for your mom. I'm so happy you allowed yourself to be vulnerable and find comfort in your friends. I'm so glad I got to watch this amazing video, with great storytelling and filled with raw and real emotions. Thank you for this.
This vid is special ♥️ I am sorry that you have had to deal with what has been going on, but am so happy you have people to lean on.
You're experience with your mom reminded me a bit about when my grandparents were suffering with Alzheimers and Dementia.
"as the credits hit, I wept"
Me too bro. Me too. I cried in front of my son and told him this was the best in gaming I've ever experienced.
Powerful stuff. Happy you got to share your experience!
Echoes of the Eye is great too by the way. It doesn't cheaping the original's ending in case you're too afraid to lose that impact.
I remember catching one of the first streams of you playing the game when you weren't really feeling super sure about it, seeing this now is cool
That's honestly crazy, it's been so long since then. Glad to see you here.
I cheered and laughed plenty hearing about your journey through OW and also felt your pain. For a lot of people, the experience of playing OW brings up what grieves us most - whatever's most raw. And very strangely, in a lot of cases, helps us accept it. Or so I gather from hearing various friends and streamers talk about it. Thank you for sharing your version of this in a really vulnerable way with all of us.
I saw Eurothug4000 share this video on Twitter and clicked because Outer Wilds
Didn't realise the video was about 5 minutes old! So I'm chucking a comment in straight away for the algorithm
The "Fight your instincts" part was pretty cool 😄
The lack of traditional game mechanics and the non-traditional game designs are the main reasons why people love Outer Wilds and it's the very same reasons why some people don't like it or not even giving it a chance after barely playing it. I think Outer WIlds is a game that every gamer should play or at least try. It really doesn't matter what type of games you like, if it clicks to you, it clicks.
LobosJr is a known Souls-like player and he evolved from not caring much to really liking Outer Wilds to the point he bought and recommended it to his friends.
As for your personal struggles, this may be controversial and hopefully won't offend anyone especially you but these are just my personal beliefs and mindset.
I'm sorry in advance and I'm not even sure if it would really help or what 😅
I always think that acceptance of reality will always help us deal with difficult things in life.
As well as turning negative things into positive ones and I don't mean trying to lie and fool ourselves into believing something that isn't true but actually accepting a reality in a positive way.
And here's a big example for that.
As bad as losing a parent is, it is actually the ideal scenario to have in life.
One of the worst things that could happen to a parent is to bury their child.
Another thing is that there's a common thing between a completely healthy person and a terminal ill person.
Both of them don't know exactly when they will die. And because of that, we should always live our life to the fullest regardless of our situation.
So I think in your case, accept your mother's decision and just let her feel that things are normal and you live your life normally and happy with her 😄
My father was diagnosed with early stage of cancer 5 years ago and he started chemo last year.
I know it's not possible to actually be ready for a big loss in life but at least consciously, I think I am ready because I accepted the reality of life.
I just try to live happy with him everyday and spoil him with whatever he wants...except having a grand child from me 😂
I'm not really good with conveying my thoughts into words especially in English but hopefully what I said made sense 😂
I think you did a great job conveying how you felt in English. You could have fooled me into thinking it was your first language. I really appreciate your comment, I hadn't really thought about death in the family from that perspective, and I'm really glad that my mom has been around long enough to see me grow up. I have to be grateful for that. Your comment was very insightful and I value that perspective. Thank you.
As soon as you said it reflected back your pain, my tears flowed. I've always wondered how many others had a similar experience. Beautiful stuff. I've never played a game that's literally enriched my life. Thank you for this.
Genuine strife and emotion is something that no one wants to talk about. This was a beautiful video. Hang in there. ❤
I'm so glad this game gave you that sense of being heard for all you're going through right now. Thank you for sharing this. It definitely helps even if I can't directly relate, I think we all have our stories of loss.
Looking forward to checking out the rest of the video once I get to play. the game
Thank you that was a great video. I always come back to Outer Wilds when someone close to me dies and it helped me a lot dealing with it. I no longer see death as this scary crushing defeat but rather as the end of a great journey.
Hope the DLC makes you as happy as the base game
there is no chance it wont make anyone as happy if not more happy than the base game. its magnificent
No other game in existence has made me as terrified as Outer Wilds.
It's the most perfect horror game without even being one. The sensation as you go into Dark Bramble for the first time, the overwhelming nature of the raging storm within Giant's Deep, the ever looming black hole on Brittle Hollow, and the claustrophobic caverns of Ember Twin. All of it a perfect symphony of cosmic horror: fear of the unknown
Thank you so much for talking about your experiences. As someone whose mom has a brain tumor that she refuses to have treated or tell anyone else about, it means so much to me to hear someone else found a different kind of hope from this game, too.
My heart hurts for you, stay strong.
Often times I come back to this video. What you describe goes way beyond the media of videogames, of exploration and of fear. You have allowed yourself to experience art in the most profound manner, and in doing so, you shared with us one of the most personal and precious feelings one can ever have.
I send you my most wholehearted condolences. Your mother was clearly an exceptional human being, and I'm sure the love you have for her will persist as much as the love she shared with you. God bless you.
This video made me tear up as I thought about my similar experiences with parents and cancer. Incredible work, Brother. ❤
I just want to send you, your mom and the rest of your family lots of love. I wish I could magically fix everything. Still, thank you for sharing; this video is immensely beautiful, inspiring, and turned out to be exactly what I needed today.
that personal bit was really beautifully said. i definitly feel you man
I just finished Outer Wilds today and I just wanted to watch some nice videos on it, now I'm sitting here crying but it just feels right! Thank you so much for sharing your experience, both you and your mom are very strong and she has raised a very loving and kind person! My dad also has cancer, and for the moment he is doing fine but I totally get you on that constant feeling of dread because you never know how long it's gonna be fine for, and for me it's been especially hard to even have feelings of hope because I'm always scared I will be disappointed if its wrong. Nonetheless, I'm still grateful for all the time and even the tiniest sparks of hope that exist in our lives. Outer Wilds is truly amazing.
I have a simmilar story, but with my grandmother. Outer wilds reminded me, how precious time is
thank you for making this video, it's genuinely moved me to tears
i just finished outer wilds, after 4 years of it gathering dust in my steam library, always downloaded, waiting for me.
i don't know why i waited for so long to play it, it just kind of turned out like this. And i honestly still don't exactly know what lesson i've learnt, i feel like there's more i'm not seeing, i feel like there's many, many small lessons this game taught me. but thanks to your video i know one thing for sure! you've helped me overcame the guilt that came from googling a tutorial when i was felt truly stuck in some places, when i had all the pieces but the gears kept grinding in my head, i tried my best, but when i needed it - i sought help, a small push forwards. I wish I could write this comment as well as you did your video hah! but once again, thank you for telling your story
I’m so sorry about your mom. I lost my grandma to cancer back in 2019 so, even though it’s definitely not the same as losing a mom, I can relate to that pain. Though I think something that’s important to remember in these situations is the time you had with them. You’re mom is a badass for fighting for 12 years while working and taking care of a family. My Grandma only lived for a year and a half after we found out about her cancer, but it was so much longer than any of us thought we would get. So, even though she’s gone, I’m glad that I had the time with her that I did. And I’m glad that you’ve been able to get at least 12 years with your mom and I’m hoping you get many more 💛
This was an incredible video.
I remember seeing Outer Wilds at Pax well before the game came out and thinking that it was something truly special and that I'd really have to wait until it was released to really get a true grasp on just how special it actually was. Even that was an understatement. It's one of the best games I've ever played, and probably ever will play.
I didn't beat it until much much later though. This was right before covid. In the same week I finished it, both my grandmother and grandfather ended up in the hospital. They died within a month of each other. It was easily one of, if not, the most difficult times for my family.
After they were both gone I remember I couldn't stop thinking about outer wilds, and those themes of the unstoppable movement of time, loss, and rebirth. And at least for me, it reminded me that everything was going to be okay because, even if it was in a way that I couldn't fully understand, I was part of something bigger, and death is just part of the experience. No matter how much it hurts.
Absolutely incredible video! I hope it brings comfort that so many people are connecting with the stories you tell and that you're not alone.
Thank you so much, and I'm so sorry for the loss of your grandparents.
My mom was diagnosed with early onset dementia when I was 20. back in 2010. She died a year and a half ago. I moved away to got married to the woman I love and have been with for a decade as well. But I always felt guilty and terrible because of it, leaving my dad to deal with that on his own. I always felt guilty and terrible about leaving my dad to take care of my mom.
I really really felt you talking about that. I actually played Outer Wilds pretty much one year before my mom died. I dont know how to describe my experience with the game but the ending did hit me a lot at the time.
I don't know why I'm commenting on this right now other then to say I really identified with your experience.
I don't know anything about loss but I don't yhink you should feel guilty about it all. If you're happy with your wife it's probably all that matters to your parents. But maybe you should talk about it with your father? know what he think about it?
Again, I don't know anything about this so take it with 5 pounds of salts, but I do hope you can cope with it.
I'm sorry for your loss, but I think you should try to find a way to release that guilt. Your mom would probably want that.
I’ve been wondering for the better part of 2 years why this game got to me the way it did. The theme music alone makes me weep. But I’ve been watching replays of the game just because I love it so much…
This video made me realize why. It’s because I’m going through a very similar thing. Like very similar. Almost to a t, though the sickness is different.
And you just helped me realize it’s because I’m worried, scared, confused and sad. Knowing that the sun will explode in 22 minutes, trying my best to figure out a way to stop it, or figure out why, or find a solution, or find a way to survive… but… it’s inevitable. Death, is inevitable.
But in the game, before the end you can talk to everyone. And someone says something along the lines of “I’m glad I stopped to smell the pine trees”. And I think that’s what’s resonating so much.
We all have so little time, but we have time together, we have time to enjoy and time to learn and grow and be as happy as we can be. And in the end, my hope is that we will be together, and that maybe the end isn’t the end, but if it is, at least there’s always something after.. even if we’re not here to know it.
I can relate to everything you said. Although my personal situation is a bit different, I think we can all agree that Outer Wilds taught us something profound. Something that is not about video games at all. I played the base story a year ago and didn't have the courage to start the DCL until now because I knew that I'd have to go through all those emotions again. Turns out a year was not enough beacuse I find that I still had not been able to genuinely calm down. I've read great books, heard inspiring music and seen amazing movies yet this is the only story that has kept me awake at night, in a good way. Every time I see the title somewhere or hear the music I still get goosebumps.
Top ten games that I've played in the last decade. Little things about toying with the physics, the experience overall and my facsination with space. Fantastic game I wish I could play anew again.
I lost my mom to cancer at about 13, and... yeah. It's a lot, and it never stops being a lot. But you're never alone, either, and I truly appreciate games like this that help us to remember that.
Thank you for a wonderful video. If you ever need to bend the ear of someone who has gone through similar struggles, feel free to send me a message- I'd be happy to listen.
Thank you for sharing this. It's honestly one of the most touching essays I've seen.
It is fucking hard some times. I was your age when I lost mine. Her sickness just wore her down. And it hurts. And it is easier to put that face on. But we wake up and do another day.
Cherish the memories. Take the pictures. Love. Live. And you are heard.
19:09 Just a tip, you don't need to exit your ship to get past the anglers. Just fly in there and put the controller down for a minute until they're out of view (ship rotation is fine). You can actually do a tiny bit of thrust around them, but I don't risk it.
Haha yeah I learned about that soon after my first playthrough. I had trouble with that initially which is why I was ejecting but I've since figured out how to get past them in the ship
Thanks for being so vulnerable. I enjoyed hearing about your journey through the game. Especially how it relates to what you’re going through and how you saw that reflected through every inch of progress. I wish you and your mum the best.
The most heartwarming and hope filled story about the inevitable heat-death of the universe.
At my aunts funeral, her older brother spoke about when they were kids. My uncle said he remembered seeing her playing in the backyard and understanding that the feelings inside him were love. She was the first time he knew that he truly loved something. He was devastated by her death. We all were. She overdosed and her death caught us all by surprise. I remember him later telling me something that I will never forget.
He said that no one is ever truly gone. We are all apart of the universe's history. The universe cannot exist in the way that it does without every single little thing that has ever existed in the way that it had existed. In this way they are never gone. Never forgotten. Things change but they only change because they once were a certain way. Even at the end of time, the heat death of all things. After all the civilizations have gone quiet. When only silence remains. The universe will linger in that eternal night and remember.
Man this is such a powerfull and personal Video, I loved every second of it, it was masterfully crafted, just like the game itself, there were a lot of details on it that made so much sense at the end. Im sure your mom is so proud of you.
I wept, too.
I lost my Dad, my favourite person, to cancer when I was 13. He fought it, the best he could. Some fights can’t be won.
I think sometimes we can mistake resignation for acceptance. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to say I’ve fully accepted my loss. A part of me will always think of what could have been. But… Well:
“It's tempting to linger in this moment, while every possibility still exists. But unless they are collapsed by an observer, they will never be more than possibilities.”
The trap of ‘What-Ifs’, of wishing for kinder fates, are a little like dreaming of possibilities after the fact. When it’s already been collapsed, and there is no going back. I resigned myself to my Dad’s passing, unfair and arbitrary as it was -as the universe IS- a long time ago. However, I think the Outer Wilds helped me move a step closer to genuine ‘acceptance’.
Your video is a part of that, too.
Thank you for making me understand *why* Outer Wilds hit me so hard on emotional level.
I wrote this while rather emotional, so I apologize for if it makes little sense. Just… Thank you. I’m sorry for what happened to your mother, to all of you, your entire family unit. Thank you for sharing your experience with the world, for the chance of it helping people like me.
This is incredibly heartwarming, thank you for sharing such a personal experience about this very personal game. I love hearing everyone's different journeys with Outer Wilds, and while I certainly wasn't expecting the underlying sadness in yours, I'm grateful I got to be here to share it with you.
This video brought me to tears - listening to your experience, I was struck by how universal many of your pains and struggles are, and yet how personal and alienating they must feel to experience on an individual level. As if we were alone, staring at the vast emptiness of space before us, our world crumbling apart around us into something wholly unrecognisable, scary and unknown. Yet, despite it all, the light of our friends still echoes faintly from across the void. And if we were to pause just for a second, if we mustered the courage to wrench our gaze from the stars for a moment and instead cast it to our surroundings, listening to the tune of our familiar travellers, we would discover their comforting melodies gently calling out to us. Each carrying their own distinct stories, conveying stories of personal voyages interweaved with distinct colours, timbres and tunes, but still recognisable with their one common theme. We are not alone after all. While our perspectives of the insurmountable future bearing down on us are vastly different and our demons totally incomparable to each other, we still face the inevitable together. And in that one commonality of experience, we understand each other and we are united. As a result, despite our many differences and conflicting worldviews and perspectives, our music plays out as one, an epic symphony stretching out across the great depths between the stars, filling the darkening universe with our light, a comforting reminder that our stories live on through us. As our music calls out to the others from across the vastness of space, an invitation for others to join in on our merry-making, our temporary respite and our shared home, we face the inevitable together, our collective light raging against the looming darkness, until eventually, we break through to the other side, illuminating whatever awaits us. I'm left with this thought that, wherever you are, whatever may have happened to you since this video was published, you and your mother remain forever in our collective prayers, just as is certainly the case for each of the trials we separately face. I pray that her music never ceases to call out to you in this way from across the void, echoing firmly through the darkness, resonating somewhere deep within you, forever lifting you up and carrying you forward, reminding you of the courage and bravery that you already possess, that showed itself to you when you most needed it, that held you strong when confronted with the unknown. The same resolve that will continue to play its melody long after the light of the previous universe has faded, bearing you gently onwards towards the future, a faint and guiding light shining somewhere in the distance for those who follow afterwards in your footsteps, a comforting reminder of our shared ability to illuminate the unseen. And in that sense, your mother's memory lives on forever, undefeated by the passage of time and uneroded by the silence, a familiar campfire tune exchanged in friendly greeting between strangers in the dark✨
Outerwilds has been my favourite game ever since I played it. I’ve played games all my life but this one absolutely changed viewpoint on everything. The absolute beauty this game allowed me see and feel is literally unmatched. I rarely ever cry from games but finishing outerwilds made me bawl my eyes out for days. Like just utter sobbing, ugly crying type of crying lol. I never realized why it impacted me the way it did, but how you explained your experience made something click in me. I think I finally understand why it feels so personal. Outerwilds connects a sense of loss, hope, grief, happiness and nostalgia in such a beautiful way. I do truly feel like it, in some way, outerwilds is a reflection of my life and everything that has led me to this point.
I know you don’t know me lol, but I’ve recently started watching your videos and the way you tell stories and experiences speaks to me so deeply it’s kind of uncomfortable haha. You’ve said things in your videos that let me have a completely different view on things, I thank you so much for that. I’m so deeply sorry you have to deal with such a grief so young with your mother, I understand having to grieve someone who’s still here. My mother is in a similar situation. Dealing with multiple conditions that will eventually lead me to say my goodbyes to her. Hearing your experience with your mother, it almost felt like looking into a mirror.I honestly thank you, so much for being so personal on your channel.
Keep up the amazing work, and please take care of yourself 💛
Hey, man. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was six, and she managed to hold on for almist ten years, passing away when I was 15. I feel you. Outer Wilds made me feel things I hadn't felt in such a long time.
Thank you for this video. You've put so many of my thoughts into words, I'm honestly at a loss. I really really needed this today. love you.
I finished the game today, 1 hour before I had to go to the hospital to stay with my mother, who is currentlly fighting cancer. It was not easy listening to your message all the way without crying.
Thank you. Trully
I'm sorry we've shared this experience. I wish you the best.
Beautiful review, and to tie it in with a real world loss as big as that just shows the power of this game. It's not even the game itself, but the way it makes you feel and think. You did a great job expressing that.
One thing i love about the game is how flushed out some of the npc’s are, like chert, for example, is very panicked at the prospect of death and “the end” when you tell him the universe is dying, and even at the last minute he starts being calm, even waiting for the supernova.
Or self, there’s special dialogue if you’re mean to another npc or if you land on the sun station.
Hi, I don’t know you and I just stumbled onto your video after finishing playing outer wilds some days ago. Truly a magnificent experience.
Thank you for sharing yours, I can imagine what you are going through as I lost my mother to cancer when I was 18… I know you will surely cherish the memories and the love you shared. Even when there’s no hope you have to remember there’s still that light, that love will always shine within you as you progress with your own journey. Trust your instincts and remember to enjoy the sweet time you share with the ones you care for, may it be in front of a campfire with good music and some marshmallow or anywhere else.
I wish you all the best~ Thanks again for sharing
Thank you for sharing your-and so importantly, your mom's-story. As others have said, we only get one true playthrough of OW... but the emotions you hit on, the journey you've fought through, the way it impacted you; it's such a powerful way of taking us back through the game, while relating it back to your own experiences. This is one of the most profound readings I've seen yet.
Which is saying something! It's incredible how many honest, thoughtful, vulnerable, and hauntingly beautiful videos have come out of this game.
(Also, OW showed up on my "Most Played" list last year at a whopping ~60 hours [base + DLC combined, admittedly]... so I promise what you experienced at the Quantum Tower is 100% relatable haha)
I lost my dad when I was just 10. It took me a long time to process. I'm around the same age as you, so I can't say this is wisdom of experience, but I realized that grief doesn't go away, it just weaves back into your life over and over, and you have to face it again every time YOU change... and that this is a beautiful thing. Because we're still carrying the people we loved with us, letting them accompany us. Outer Wilds is an amazing game about how your experiences of the things that you will inevitably lose have a transformative power in the very fabric of space-time itself. To observe something settles it in reality. Your character's humble life resolves the infinite possibility of a nascent universe into one that has dimension and form.
There are a handful of games I recommend to thanatophobic people like myself, one of them is Pathologic 2 and the other main one is Outer Wilds.
I am sad that I will never get to play this masterpiece. I watched an LP by a youtuber as my first exposure to the game, and was hooked all the way through. But the problem with that is that I can never ever play the game myself. It would feel hollow. The sense of discovery is forever lost to me, and the best way to recoup that now is to watch other people experience it for the first time.
Wonderful analysis. Ok, trying to put this into words...I also felt an echo of what you did. I lost my mom 15 years ago... it feels like both a long time ago and like it happened yesterday. It was personally a world-ending event. It taught me that death is the high cost of living... that we were dead for billions of years, alive for a few decades, and then back to incorporealness again. The discovery of the inevitable final end of the Heat Death of the Universe, that this isn't just the end of only you, but of the Cosmos... why not live in the perpetual loop? But there is an escape... that some part of us will endure and continue on into the world after us. That hope of an imprint of immortality is so emotional, powerful, and comforting. That she mattered... that we will matter. The ripples remain. Here's to a an Ainulindalë in our own future...
I have watched your video probably five times through, and recommended it to others. My own journey through Outer Wilds was very similar. I had been living through a personal crisis for almost 10 years. This game helped me let go of the many things I could not change, and was an important reminder to stop and smell the pine trees along the way. Thank you for sharing your Outer Wilds adventure and personal story.
Really heartening story to hear about this game connecting to someone, and especially strong of you to share your pain. Love to you and your mom
I love how so many people had such a profound, personal experience while playing Outer Wilds. But it's a feeling you only experience once. And I hate that I can't replay it - I'm left with a lingering feeling which I can't quite explain.
But I'm glad you made this video because it's the second best thing with Outer Wilds - being able to share your experience with others.
I watch every Outer Wilds video I hee poping on my RUclips feed, it really is the best and only way for me to enjoy again my favourite game.
I was not expecting this video... but everyone has such a special journey with this game that I'm not surprised It helped you the way it did.
Thank you for sharing, I enjoyed listening, cheers mate 🧡
Watching this video at 3 am I realized something... Outer Wilds hits everyone differently. It kinda shows us how we deal with or perceive loss.
When I finished playing it a while back, I remember the last stretch between the Ash Twin and the Vessel. I was shaking with nerves, holding the warp core. I tried to make sure I'd had every possible interaction with my crewmates and found out everything I could, 'cause I knew the end was coming, but I didn't want to get there without uncovering all the secrets.
My heart was racing, I was scared, then this incredible feeling of peace washed over me when I saw everyone at the campfire... and the final scene was just so heartwarming and bittersweet, seeing that the essence of everything we'd gone through would carry on to the new universe.
I felt bad that I didn't cry at the end of the game. Inside, I thought maybe I was too insensitive or something. But later, when I went to sleep that night, I remembered I'd felt the same way when my dad passed away a while back... and that's when the tears hit. I realized my experience in the game mirrored my own journey with loss, not as something that disappears, but as something that transforms. Like that day I saw my dad's look in my own eyes when I glanced in the mirror... I understood his whole story would always be with me, and that I was an extension of his essence. I think that's what Outer Wilds does, it lets us see how we perceive something as heavy as loss and loneliness... just amazing.
Beautiful video. You’ve made something really special with this one man. Thank you for sharing your story.
AAAGGGHHHH! That was a really REALLY well done video. Goodness!
When the explosion hit at the end I damn near stood out of my chair for a standing ovation. You really put your heart out here and I can say for sure that it's connected with others'.
I'm sorry to hear about your mom's cancer, but glad to hear that she has you with her for support. I've seen what that can take and it's not easy, but being there for them is incredibly worth it in the end.
When I finished The Outer Wilds I definitely didn't connect with it as powerfully as you did. It certainly felt like there was something deeper that I was missing. And hearing your takeaway from it really opened my eyes to what that something was. And it's made me appreciate it that much more!
So thank you for the new perspective, thank you for sharing your story, and best of luck with the future.
Although I randomly stumbled across your channel in the first palce, I want to say tank you so much for this video
I am in a terrible state right now
I struggle with anxiety, and frustration, and slowly loosing hope
The message you convey is very powerful and gives me the currage to keep going and to be open about my feeling with my close ones
I wish the best for you, try to do little things to put your mind in the best position to cope with these feelings. I like to go on walks, get sun, exercise, and eat clean diet. It seriously helps
goodness I just stumbled into your videos today and the stories and feeling you convey have already made me cry twice. Keep doing what you're doing! I love the vids
What a great video! You’re awesome at keeping a video essay like this stimulating!
Thank you for this video man. Outer wilds hit me incredibly hard. So much so that I can't even watch a regular video essay about it without choking up. But this is another level.
I've lost a lot of people over the past year, including my best friend. Two of the things that kind of helped me with that was outer wilds and spiritfarer.
Seriously Amazing video, thank you
Wow. This video has touched me. Opening up like you have, describing your pain and experiences. Truly puts another light onto what this game can truly mean to people. Thank you. Best of luck.
Thank you for sharing what you and your mom have been going through. It’s sad. It’s painful. But, you are courageous, strong, and loving for being there for your mom through it all. You are seen. You are heard. Sending many condolences your way. Thanks again for sharing with us.
Hey, you're awesome and deserve basically all the views ever. I am unspeakably sorry about the things you currently have to go through but know that your content is amazing and that you have a support group here full of people who care if ever you require it.
I appreciate you sharing your personal story to everyone. I went through a very similar experience a couple of years ago when my mother passed away from cancer. It didn't even occur to me that something like that could even happen, even though she was in Hospice Care. Losing her was the hardest thing in my life, and even after almost three years it still hurts. I hope you are doing okay, and keep doing what you enjoy.
This is an amazing video - thank you for it. Outer Wilds is probably my favorite game of all time - the emotions I felt during it were unlike anything I'd ever experienced in a game before, and the ending had me in tears. And it did it again the second time around, after I went back to play the DLC (highly recommend, it portrays a very -different- way of dealing with fear and loss, which perfectly complements the story of the Nomai and the player character) - though that was in part my own fault, since I sat at the final campfire for a solid five minutes just reflecting. My father was in hospice care for several years before his death, fifteen years ago now, and this game more perfectly encapsulates all of the many, many emotions surrounding -endings- than anything I've seen before. It's a search for meaning and for purpose in the face of inevitability, the fear of what is to come and of losing what we already have, and it's beautiful. (And you can roast marshmallows on the moon.) Awesome, awesome work.
Outer Wilds is my favorite game of all time. It's DLC too continued in the glory of what it meant to me as a human. It tapped deep into my psyche, unraveling that it was always about the questions I wanted personally answered, and the answers were the ones I always knew but just couldn't acknowledge and buried...and it did it in a way that remembered the beauty of it all.
I played it alongside the DLC because I only found out about it after it had just come out. I was lucky enough to play both back to back and saved the ending that I knew would come with the core until after I finished the DLC...and wow. Just absolutely WOW.
The soundtrack still haunts my mind. The DLC especially hit me like a truck as the whole experience of Outer Wilds rolled over me ontop of the mass of experiences this game gave me.
Getting launched off into the stratosphere on an island to see my friend playing a tune on a hammock...floating...the sound of his instrument all that was left to fill the silence...and then it ALL comes rushing back into my senses as I fall back into the atmosphere, the moment I met the drummer hammering away in fury for the first time only for him to tell me that it was all too late and that the world was ending as I ended the conversation and watched as the sun enveloped the sky and us with it as he continued to drum away....these are moments of true and totalizing artistic awe. The imagery, the triumphs, and the fear I felt. There are few games that made me gasp out loud in fear and cry until I had none left. It was ascendant. It is what gaming should aspire to be.
It sits among my list alongside Journey, Majora's Mask, Abzu, Everyone's Gone to the Rapture, and Cyberpunk 2077 as the most affecting game's I've ever played and in line with my favorite movies and songs as the most affecting art I've ever experienced. Outer Wilds sits at the top of that list for me. It is truly a masterwork of concept, gameplay, and puzzle all working together to create the most human of arts.
One of the greatest endings of any narrative I've ever experienced...was the simple moment of each of the people playing their songs, as I chose to include them in when I wanted...I sat in the solo of the Bird Moose's solo for so long as it haunted me....and then the Banjo...and then the harmonica...and I just couldn't hold it in. Because all along as alone as I felt, as singular as I feel every day...we are not alone in this struggle. Our pain is not our own to bare, we bare it together.
Just wanted to say thanks for making this video. Outer Wilds for me was such a deeply comforting experience at the end of it all. The feeling of something taking my most fundamental existential fears and dread, putting them right in front of me, and saying “It’s okay. You aren’t alone. It will be okay.”
I appreciate your experiences and how they colored the game for you in a way I wouldn’t have considered, which only makes me appreciate it further. Be it accepting the lack of control we often have over our lives, our own insignificance, or the cosmic transience of everything, I’ve never seen another piece of media elicit such feelings of solace through it all, and I’m grateful for you adding your experiences to the shared experience of playing and understanding this game.
This absolutely captured so much of my experience. From the fear of dark bramble to my shame of needing help to understand how teleportation works, down to my deep sadness about the inevitable loss involved in life. Thanks for sharing your experience and giving unique words to help me grasp why this game had such an outsized effect on me. I’ve had this video sitting in my “watch later” category for way to long so I’m incredibly grateful that, much like outer wilds, I came back around and gave it a shot.
Incredible work. You've put into words a lot of things I didn't understand about how this game made me feel. Thank you so much, and hope you are doing well.
Thank you. You've created something truly special.
For as much as I love this game, maybe I needed to hear these personal insights of yours, too.
i came here for a nice little video about someone else's experience as someone who loves the game with every fiber of my being. i did not come here to cry and remember some of the worst times of my life, when i had to face fear and uncertainty while grappling hope and acceptance from any source i could. but you put it in the best words that can describe how it is to be deeply affected by outer wilds. thank you for sharing your story
This video is truly amazing. I've never had to experience loss or prepare for loss in my life yet, but I have a really hard time accepting that something is over, which is one of the reasons I still watch videos on Outer Wilds or first playthroughs. I'm sure at this point you've already played it, but the Echoes of Eye dlc cranks up everything you've talked about in this video by 1000%.
Without spoiling the DLC, the meta commentary that Outer Wilds provides is "letting go" in my opinion. The sun will always explode and it is impossible to stop. The universe will die no matter what you do. You will not be able to replay Outer Wilds. Yet, because of your journey you're able create a new universe and by playing the game you are able to get other people to experience it as well and connect to them like you did in this video.
I can't wait to hear your thoughts on Echoes of the Eye.
This video is special, thanks for sharing your experience with the community
great video. amazing how powerful an interpreted message from art can be despite not being intended. appreciate the honesty at the end. must be scaring being so public about it. good luck.
thank you, for allot of us who love this game, the only way we can play it again as if new is hearing or seeing it played through by someone else and their thoughts and feelings, you got me choked up a bit and that ending dedication gave that extra push tide in with genuine real emotion that always hit me, trully thank you for your experience, and although im sure you have been asked maybe even already done it, but id love your feelings and experience on the DLC echoes of the eye that really changes things up while still making sense and fitting in the game story
What a touching slice of your life and experience that you've shared. Thank you for this wholeheartedly!
I started Outer Wilds completely blind and finished it yesterday (just the base game and I absolutely love it, it's definitely in my top 5) and I decided to watch other people's experiences with it or some analysis and this video is the best I've seen, by the way you talk I can feel how much passion you put into it (which I didn't expect from a channel with 10k subs) you need to keep up the good work and I'm sure more people will come across your channel and appreciate how well done your videos are. I love discovering small channels with a bright future and I feel like yours is just that, Instantly subbed.
This video was an absolute blessing to watch, man. I can tell how genuine and kind of a soul you must be just from seeing you put your heart out about your mom's situation. I don't know how things are for you guys right now, but I hope you don't mind if I put you and your family in my prayers from now on.
God bless you, man.
Dude this is one of the best videos I've ever seen. I appreciate your story so much and honestly I was on the verge of tears multiple times towards the end of the video. I've never played this game, and I had already seen a decent amount of gameplay before watching this video. I'm not sure if I'll ever play it, but I'm kinda glad I have a history of forgetting things. So if I ever do play it, it'll probably be a mostly fresh experience that I'll never forget and I'm excited to see what I learn from it. I'm proud of you for stepping out in courage to tell thousands of people about your struggle and how this game helped you with it. I'm so happy for you. I feel blessed to have watched this and I feel like I probably won't forget about this video. Well, the important parts at least. So thank you for all of it. A beautiful game with a beautiful message, and a guy who allowed himself to feel in the midst of it. Subbed :D
As a man of faith too, I feel deeply moved by all of this. Despite being so young, only 22 as of typing this, I feel like I've encountered so many situations akin to what this game has. The kind of stuff where I have to take a leap of faith, not only because it's the right thing to do, but also that it's the only real way forward. If I stay stagnant, I'll quickly find myself drifting downstream, and I'd only grow colder to myself and those around me. But if I allow myself to be challenged, if I allow myself to feel and to really understand myself and others, then it's another step towards learning to be all things to all people, and to be there when people would need me the most. And that isn't to say I myself know everything, quite the opposite. I feel like I know so little. And the more I learn, the more I realize how little I truly know. I'm gonna take this message and walk with this too, another lesson in my life to carry with me and be encouraged knowing that I can do what I'm afraid of, and the greatest limiter towards me growing is myself. Thank you for this as well. I hope you and everyone in your life lives blessed and wonderful lives. o7 💖
34:35
Goddamn. You just made me ugly cry lol. My father died last year without ever apologizing to him about something big I did when I was younger. I am both dealing with a loss and guilt. Thank you internet stranger, thank you.
I'm sorry for your loss, you're in my thoughts 🙏
This is the first video i've seen from you. Thank you for sharing this struggle with us