Thank you so much for this video! The saddest part about Outer Wilds is that there's no way to experience it again, but this video feels like it lets me do just that. It felt like I was sitting down with a good friend and listening to the unique stories and experiences they had with the game! It's a video I feel like I've been subconsciously begging for forever, so thank you!
Give it 2-3 years. Hopefully by then you'll have forgotten the details, only remembering the broad strokes. At least, that's what it was like for me, which has let me go back into the game and relive it
That really is a big part of it. Outer Wilds is a game about loss, and once it's over it's over. The first time you play, the world feels exciting and new and alive. But when you come back to it, it feels like reliving a memory. The end of the universe in-game really feels like the end of a universe.
I'm going to try: a) Mods that add missions / objects; b) a randomizer. It will hit differently, but it's better than nothing. Until then, I will love watching other people's First Playthroughs and crying for the final 40 mins.
Ahh, while I didn't end up "winning" the role, I auditioned for Gabbro for the Voice Acting mod and recorded that line many times and it and a lot of lines really stuck with me way more after literally reading them out loud
This game finally broke me with a single moment. I had flown miles away from the solar system to watch the nova from a distance, and I happened to pull out my signal scope. Hearing the traveler's melodies dip out one by one made me break down crying for the entire duration of the next loop
I started crying after lighting that last campfire. I realized at that moment what I was doing. By the time the group started playing around the campfire I was a blubbering mess.
Once I learned what happens I thought the goal of the game was to stop it and then was absolutely devastated when I started to realize that wasn't going to happen. Then I just wanted to be able to lead other characters so they could experience something important to them in at least one timeline. (Specifically Reibeck, he just had to go down a wall and across a bridge and he would see the ancient civilization! I know he was scared, but it was a pretty safe trip before the bridge is broken.)
I got to that place. I went to Gabbro and while the game couldn't process his response I talked about it with him which was really me talking to a version of him inside my head. It helped but it was still such a difficult place to go to mentally.
I guess I was the only "selfish" player, as i got spoiled about how the sun has no stopping, so it became my life goal to see the eye, seriously the motivation to keep playing was "I wanna see that Eye" and I was not disappointed
@@sleeper6548 Don't think that. An argument could be made that those insisting on trying to stop the sun are the ones acting selfishly, out of a sense of trying to control things. The game is pretty unambiguously set up for you to want to experience the excitement and wonder of all the other explorers before you, so that you will emulate them and understand their experiences- which isn't selfish. Just my two cents
My grandpa just recently passed due to bone cancer. My uncle tried to OD the next day. And my father had a silent heart attack the following day. My friend recently told me to play outer wilds because it’s such a great game, and I love mysteries so I should love this game. I didn’t expect for it to teach me, about letting go. That it’s okay. I’ve always been someone who has despised change. I hate the thought of it. But this game challenged me to think a different way. And it showed me that change isn’t all bad. And that sometimes there is hope in loss. This game helped me through my grief of my grandfathers passing. Not a lot of games can do that. Spend every second with your mom. Whether it be a board game, tv show, or maybe simply making her favorite meal or telling her about your day. Hug your mom for me. Cause I never got to say or hug my grandpa before it took him. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the game, and I know sharing your pain wasn’t easy but thank you. We are hear for you, and we love you. ❤️❤️❤️
“It’s tempting to linger in this moment while every possibility still exists. But unless they are collapsed by an observer, they will never be more than possibilities.” I think this quote at the very end of the game sums things up very nicely. When you’re not certain you want to move on, Solanum gives you these words. And I think this can be applied to your situation and many others. Thank you for sharing something so deep. I felt the same way when I played the game, and that reflection into yourself is the reason this game is amazing. You can run, and waste valuable time forever. Until you’re out of that time. Until you face things head on, and face the inevitable, your fears will never be anything more than possibilities. Time will never stop for anyone. But the journey and the way you spend that time is ultimately the most important part. Nothing lasts forever, and that’s ok. We may never get to experience some things that we wish to, and we may miss out on things we so desperately want to see or hold on to. But the important part is that we’re here right now, and we’re given this time and opportunity of life, love, fear, and even death as a gift. Your favorite movie would feel pointless without an ending. Your day at work can feel meaningless until you clock out and go on doing what you want to. And life would be meaningless without death. Uncertainty is in all things, but facing that discomfort is what makes everything you do in this life worth it. Thank you again for this video. This game is truly one of a kind!
Out of everyong I've seen talking about Outer Wilds, yours is the only analysis that I think got what is truly special about it. What makes Outer Wilds special is the fact that through the complete freedom it gives to the player, it manages to become a mirror into one's own mind. As a player searches for a meaning to all the information around them, they naturally start to see the game world as a sort of perfect metaphor for whatever they're thinking about at the moment. It's truly magical, and a kind of feeling that no other game I have ever played has ever come close to replicating.
The other one that i think conveys something similar is razbutens video on the topic, but no one else pointed out how the game becomes a mirror for your own issues.
To me the message of Outer Wilds is this: Death is inevitable. No matter how hard you try, no matter how much you learn, you can not change this one fact of life. One way or another, death will arrive. But it doesnt have to be the end.
This, to me, is the purpose of the sun station in the game. For many (probably most) players, the key goal of the game is to stop the sun going supernova - to save everyone - and this is built up through the plans of the nomai: the sun station causes the supernova so it can be turned off! But you get there and it failed. The sun is going to explode (you cannot stop a natural death of a star) it is inevitable. It is such a good twist I love this game
@@doublespoonco Yeah it preys on the players belief that you always are the hero that saves the day like in every other game. It's subversion on a massive scale.
I feel compelled to leave a comment here because I was literally weeping when this video ended. Thank you for sharing your most intimate experience with us. I wasn't expecting anything so personal, so soft and so timid when I clicked on this video, wishing to entertain myself a bit before plunging back into work, and before realizing that my fear and timidity of the notion of losing my cancered grandma could resonate so much with someone else. I keep dreaming of her these days in a rosy and retrospective way, myself being thousands miles away from her hospice in another country. And I have to admit that it's the same specious "hope" that calcifies my inner vast emotions. Your confession gives me strength, and like Outer Wilds, not the immediate exhilaration but a deeper crooning sound, soft but solacing, telling me that everyone should lives their life to the fullest in their own solar system before the sun demises. Thank you for everything!
My grandpa is on hospice. It's definitely not the same as what you are going through for me, but it's rough and I hope everything goes smoothly for your family. ❤️ My mom would relate more to you, especially since she is caring for him. But it is rough especially because he just wants to move on already and my mom doesn't like seeing him with so little motivation for life. Mostly I hurt for my mom.
No idea if you'll read this as I'm very late to this video, but I lost my mom in April. I played Outer Wilds earlier in the year. I find myself coming back to this game again and again. I just keep thinking about it. How it's terrifying and frustrating and satisfying and beautiful all at once. Your video was so cathartic, and I thank you for making it.
Thank you for sharing your story. The discovery in the Sun Station is one of acceptance. You learn there that the game is not about overcoming destruction and preventing loss, but about accepting it. Understanding how frail we are. After I got the powered core, and shut down the Ash Twin Project, and as the music started playing, I immediately understood that the safety net below me, that of sending my memories back in time, had been removed. I understood that the next time I died would be the last. And then I thought: "Just like in real life." And that thought, and the weight of the whole situation, accompanied me for the rest of my journey, and it's something no other game managed to come close to.
Hey everyone. If you're interested in playing Outer Wilds and want to hold off from watching this video due to spoilers, I made what I think is a pretty important announcement at 25:43. It may affect how often content releases on this channel in the future.
Good on you for having the courage man. Lost my dad in 2020 right as the pandemic started. Been trying to find any sort of feeling but it's all very locked up. Your message unlocked a small bit of it. Hope you're well, and your mum is as comfortable as she can be. From mine to yours, all the best.
About that, i think i owe you an apology. When you said that your Mom had recently decided to switch to Hospice Care and that thus all Hope was gone, i didn't feel compassion for you or sadness on your behalf or anything like that. I felt Jealousy. Because, as stupid as this sounds, you had the "opportunity" to loose hope. My Father, someone who was probably the healthiest person i ever knew (he literally once in my lifetime was sick for two days) got his "tumorous growth" (not sure if that's the correct english term) Diagnosis a day before his 50th Birthday. I was 15. We tried it first with surgery as the doctors werent even sure it was a malicious growth (cancer) at first. From the time of the diagnosis to the surgery (three weeks later), it had quadrupled in size and they couldn't cut it all out, so we switched to Chemotherapy. It helped slow the growth, but it was too late. My Dad died just seven months after that diagnosis, suddenly and without any significant signs beforehand. To this day i ask myself if it could have been avoided, had we immediately started with Chemotherapy and i still feel guilty, because he asked each of us their opinion and i was scared of the dangers of Chemotherapy. That's why i was jealous. Because it felt like you had gotten, what was taken from me: A chance to loose hope and come to terms with the inevtiable. I also think that this "missed opportunity" lead to my poor mental health in the last years and even still today, among other problems a significant fear of loss, going as far as waking up multiple times in the middle of the night to make sure my mom was still alive, when my mental health was doing really bad. I am slowly recovering but it's still not easy, especially because it's extremely hard for me to talk about this. It's much easier to write. Thus again, i want to apologize. Jealousy isn't exactly the appropriate reaction when someone tells you that a loved one is going to die. Initially i wanted to write here that, while you couldn't help me, i hope that you could help someone else, but writing all this down, letting it all out actually helped. At least a little bit. So thank you and i hope you can help more people in the future. Or even better: I hope that we'll one day find a way that noone will even need this kind of help anymore, because we have beaten cancer once and for all. Thank you, and i'm sorry.
37:55 it was one year ago that you made this video. I sit at 2:30 in the morning watching this video having completed my story with outer wilds. I think about how you're doing in this moment, if you are healing from the loss, or still reeling from it. I think about my wife is sleeping in bed, knowing she has to be up in 3 1/2 hours to catch a flight for work. I think about how infinitely small we are, and that death is inevitable. And that's OK. Because in that inevitability, and existential dread that haunted me every waking hour for years of my life, I came out what outer wilds, realizing that it's OK. I felt my heart race, as I watched the universe die despite everything I tried. But in that death came music and new life. And I wasn't alone. I had those that I had gotten to know, and in that nonchalant way, they greeted the end in the beginning. I cried so hard. My face burned from the tears and my cheeks, a little sore. My wife didn't understand, she didn't understand why I was crying so hard. And I didn't have the words to describe that feeling of peace and love that washed over me. I hope that wherever you are in life right now, know that some random guy at 2:30 in the morning, watched your video, and found a kinship in you. He thought about you, hoping that you were at peace, that your fear had run its course, that you were able to smile again. Thank you for hearing me without even hearing a word. I know this is a long comment, and I apologize. So what I gain from outer wilds is that even in the inevitability of death, I can smile and love, and even if for only a fleeting moment, find peace.
reading this makes me think about how this game makes everyone want to talk about their experience . I don't know about you but Im almost angry that I can't put into words what the game makes me feel like
@@govanni2224 at times things can feel ineffable. I think there's some beauty in that. That means it was so powerful of an emotion that it became ineffable but you understood it.
I wept, too. I lost my Dad, my favourite person, to cancer when I was 13. He fought it, the best he could. Some fights can’t be won. I think sometimes we can mistake resignation for acceptance. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to say I’ve fully accepted my loss. A part of me will always think of what could have been. But… Well: “It's tempting to linger in this moment, while every possibility still exists. But unless they are collapsed by an observer, they will never be more than possibilities.” The trap of ‘What-Ifs’, of wishing for kinder fates, are a little like dreaming of possibilities after the fact. When it’s already been collapsed, and there is no going back. I resigned myself to my Dad’s passing, unfair and arbitrary as it was -as the universe IS- a long time ago. However, I think the Outer Wilds helped me move a step closer to genuine ‘acceptance’. Your video is a part of that, too. Thank you for making me understand *why* Outer Wilds hit me so hard on emotional level. I wrote this while rather emotional, so I apologize for if it makes little sense. Just… Thank you. I’m sorry for what happened to your mother, to all of you, your entire family unit. Thank you for sharing your experience with the world, for the chance of it helping people like me.
Watching this video at 3 am I realized something... Outer Wilds hits everyone differently. It kinda shows us how we deal with or perceive loss. When I finished playing it a while back, I remember the last stretch between the Ash Twin and the Vessel. I was shaking with nerves, holding the warp core. I tried to make sure I'd had every possible interaction with my crewmates and found out everything I could, 'cause I knew the end was coming, but I didn't want to get there without uncovering all the secrets. My heart was racing, I was scared, then this incredible feeling of peace washed over me when I saw everyone at the campfire... and the final scene was just so heartwarming and bittersweet, seeing that the essence of everything we'd gone through would carry on to the new universe. I felt bad that I didn't cry at the end of the game. Inside, I thought maybe I was too insensitive or something. But later, when I went to sleep that night, I remembered I'd felt the same way when my dad passed away a while back... and that's when the tears hit. I realized my experience in the game mirrored my own journey with loss, not as something that disappears, but as something that transforms. Like that day I saw my dad's look in my own eyes when I glanced in the mirror... I understood his whole story would always be with me, and that I was an extension of his essence. I think that's what Outer Wilds does, it lets us see how we perceive something as heavy as loss and loneliness... just amazing.
I finished this game last night and now I'm watching videos about to know how others felt while playing this absolute masterpiece. I was not expecting this tho. Every video I watched touches on an existential matter and emotional rollercoasters, but in a more generic way. This is one is so personal, so beautiful and so painful. I'm very sorry for your mom. I'm so happy you allowed yourself to be vulnerable and find comfort in your friends. I'm so glad I got to watch this amazing video, with great storytelling and filled with raw and real emotions. Thank you for this.
Probably my favorite thing to watch on RUclips are video essays like this. It's essays like this with so much heart, emotion, beauty, and meaning that truly resonate with me. You've truly created something special here and I thank you for being willing to share it with all of us. Consider me a forever fan and I wish you and your mom all the best. ❤️
Wow... I've gone through something so similar and I think its the reason Outer Wilds hit me so hard. I lost my mother to cancer when I was 16. I'm 24 now and still feel it but after playing this masterpiece it definitely helped and made me understand that finality is a normality. Thank you for sharing your story and making this amazing video. Wishing you the best
Man, I may regret being spoiled by seeing this, but dammit Wiz, you are just a great storyteller! I just have to hear the stories! And I feel for you about your mom, Wiz. My mom had throat cancer and she luckily conquered it, but her throat is a mess and has to feed using a tube mostly. Thank you for being candid with us, dude. We are here for you. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna find a hammer and erase the spoilers from my head. *BONK*
Powerful stuff. Happy you got to share your experience! Echoes of the Eye is great too by the way. It doesn't cheaping the original's ending in case you're too afraid to lose that impact.
As soon as you said it reflected back your pain, my tears flowed. I've always wondered how many others had a similar experience. Beautiful stuff. I've never played a game that's literally enriched my life. Thank you for this.
You are one of the most genuine, and truly human youtubers I have ever seen. Your relatable, your empathetic, your very well spoken, your content is well thought, and your skill of editing is phenomenal. You remind me that every one has struggles, many the same as my own, and many... many I wouldn't even know how to tackle on my own. At the same time you are a bastion of hope reminding us all that we don't have to go through anything alone. I'm soo sorry about your mother. I'm a complete stranger to you, and yet I feel deeply for you and your situation. I myself am 26 years old. I have a wife and 2 children. We have gone through our own trials and tribulations. I have grown numb to a lot of things through out my life so far as just a survival skill to just pull myself up and go through the day just to keep surviving. I may not be able to give you anything more than just my praise and encouragement. I have liked and subscribed to you, and I hope you never give up. I cant even begin to explain how this video made me feel. Just wow... Keep it up... and hopefully ill be seeing you around. Thank you for this video. Yes I love the outer wilds but sir you shook me too my core in 38:11.
Hey Wizawhat ! I don't even know where to begin. Your video spoke so deeply to me. It's been two month since I finished Outer Wilds and I can't seem to let this experience go away. This game shook me, brought tears to my eyes, tears of joy, nostalgia, relief, melancholia. It is strange how this game could reach to so many deep emotions. But I must say that what I liked the most here, was how you approached this video. The emotional way of dealing with this content rather than just doing a scientific analysis was very touching. And I don't really know how to say this but it made a connection. I could relate to so many things you said, not only about the game but on a human scale too; the way of dealing with emotions, notably fear and axiety, the will to let yourself be vulnerable in front of others, to accept this part of you. It is almost as if I was speaking to myself for a little bit. Anyway, maybe it is a little bit silly, but I wanted to share this feeling with you. I wanted to thank you for sharing your experience so honestly. I wanted to wish you the best going through all these adventures life has in store for us, good or bad. And to let you know that what you do and who you are can even reach to a random person like me, probably miles and miles away from you, but still in the same Solar System, crying over the same game ! ;) cheers man, I wish you all the best
Beautiful review, and to tie it in with a real world loss as big as that just shows the power of this game. It's not even the game itself, but the way it makes you feel and think. You did a great job expressing that.
I cheered and laughed plenty hearing about your journey through OW and also felt your pain. For a lot of people, the experience of playing OW brings up what grieves us most - whatever's most raw. And very strangely, in a lot of cases, helps us accept it. Or so I gather from hearing various friends and streamers talk about it. Thank you for sharing your version of this in a really vulnerable way with all of us.
I can relate to everything you said. Although my personal situation is a bit different, I think we can all agree that Outer Wilds taught us something profound. Something that is not about video games at all. I played the base story a year ago and didn't have the courage to start the DCL until now because I knew that I'd have to go through all those emotions again. Turns out a year was not enough beacuse I find that I still had not been able to genuinely calm down. I've read great books, heard inspiring music and seen amazing movies yet this is the only story that has kept me awake at night, in a good way. Every time I see the title somewhere or hear the music I still get goosebumps.
I'm so glad this game gave you that sense of being heard for all you're going through right now. Thank you for sharing this. It definitely helps even if I can't directly relate, I think we all have our stories of loss. Looking forward to checking out the rest of the video once I get to play. the game
Thank you that was a great video. I always come back to Outer Wilds when someone close to me dies and it helped me a lot dealing with it. I no longer see death as this scary crushing defeat but rather as the end of a great journey.
I've never heard someone describe the fear I feel as well as you did. I never got it for the dark bramble because I didn't explore it early, but I very much am feeling it when beginning echoes of the eye, just pure dread knowing *something* will happen, even with zero idea of what that something is going to be. Hoping I can get over that fear soon haha.
I am sad that I will never get to play this masterpiece. I watched an LP by a youtuber as my first exposure to the game, and was hooked all the way through. But the problem with that is that I can never ever play the game myself. It would feel hollow. The sense of discovery is forever lost to me, and the best way to recoup that now is to watch other people experience it for the first time.
19:09 Just a tip, you don't need to exit your ship to get past the anglers. Just fly in there and put the controller down for a minute until they're out of view (ship rotation is fine). You can actually do a tiny bit of thrust around them, but I don't risk it.
Haha yeah I learned about that soon after my first playthrough. I had trouble with that initially which is why I was ejecting but I've since figured out how to get past them in the ship
thank you for making this video, it's genuinely moved me to tears i just finished outer wilds, after 4 years of it gathering dust in my steam library, always downloaded, waiting for me. i don't know why i waited for so long to play it, it just kind of turned out like this. And i honestly still don't exactly know what lesson i've learnt, i feel like there's more i'm not seeing, i feel like there's many, many small lessons this game taught me. but thanks to your video i know one thing for sure! you've helped me overcame the guilt that came from googling a tutorial when i was felt truly stuck in some places, when i had all the pieces but the gears kept grinding in my head, i tried my best, but when i needed it - i sought help, a small push forwards. I wish I could write this comment as well as you did your video hah! but once again, thank you for telling your story
this game has made me feel real true grief for a universe that never even actually physically existed. i fully believed "this is a video game there has to be a solution" i wanted to bring feldspar home, i wanted to stop the supernova and the sheer helplessness i felt at the sun station is indescribable. the ancient glade is truly one of the most beautiful places in the end. and it shows you that things end and that is okay.
It is fucking hard some times. I was your age when I lost mine. Her sickness just wore her down. And it hurts. And it is easier to put that face on. But we wake up and do another day. Cherish the memories. Take the pictures. Love. Live. And you are heard.
I finished the game today, 1 hour before I had to go to the hospital to stay with my mother, who is currentlly fighting cancer. It was not easy listening to your message all the way without crying. Thank you. Trully
At my aunts funeral, her older brother spoke about when they were kids. My uncle said he remembered seeing her playing in the backyard and understanding that the feelings inside him were love. She was the first time he knew that he truly loved something. He was devastated by her death. We all were. She overdosed and her death caught us all by surprise. I remember him later telling me something that I will never forget. He said that no one is ever truly gone. We are all apart of the universe's history. The universe cannot exist in the way that it does without every single little thing that has ever existed in the way that it had existed. In this way they are never gone. Never forgotten. Things change but they only change because they once were a certain way. Even at the end of time, the heat death of all things. After all the civilizations have gone quiet. When only silence remains. The universe will linger in that eternal night and remember.
I saw Eurothug4000 share this video on Twitter and clicked because Outer Wilds Didn't realise the video was about 5 minutes old! So I'm chucking a comment in straight away for the algorithm
Thank you so much for talking about your experiences. As someone whose mom has a brain tumor that she refuses to have treated or tell anyone else about, it means so much to me to hear someone else found a different kind of hope from this game, too.
I just finished Outer Wilds today and I just wanted to watch some nice videos on it, now I'm sitting here crying but it just feels right! Thank you so much for sharing your experience, both you and your mom are very strong and she has raised a very loving and kind person! My dad also has cancer, and for the moment he is doing fine but I totally get you on that constant feeling of dread because you never know how long it's gonna be fine for, and for me it's been especially hard to even have feelings of hope because I'm always scared I will be disappointed if its wrong. Nonetheless, I'm still grateful for all the time and even the tiniest sparks of hope that exist in our lives. Outer Wilds is truly amazing.
I just want to send you, your mom and the rest of your family lots of love. I wish I could magically fix everything. Still, thank you for sharing; this video is immensely beautiful, inspiring, and turned out to be exactly what I needed today.
Top ten games that I've played in the last decade. Little things about toying with the physics, the experience overall and my facsination with space. Fantastic game I wish I could play anew again.
Hey man, my dad is in the hospital rn and has been for several days and I’m very scared and he has been sick and he lives with me but the past few days I’ve been feeling really lonely at home and scared of the thought of losing him . Needless to say, I had the thought to spoil some outer wilds as a way to distract me or hopefully give me some sort of comfort with this situation, and I got that from your outro on loss. Thank you for sharing it just helped me a lot tonight
No other game in existence has made me as terrified as Outer Wilds. It's the most perfect horror game without even being one. The sensation as you go into Dark Bramble for the first time, the overwhelming nature of the raging storm within Giant's Deep, the ever looming black hole on Brittle Hollow, and the claustrophobic caverns of Ember Twin. All of it a perfect symphony of cosmic horror: fear of the unknown
I’ve been wondering for the better part of 2 years why this game got to me the way it did. The theme music alone makes me weep. But I’ve been watching replays of the game just because I love it so much… This video made me realize why. It’s because I’m going through a very similar thing. Like very similar. Almost to a t, though the sickness is different. And you just helped me realize it’s because I’m worried, scared, confused and sad. Knowing that the sun will explode in 22 minutes, trying my best to figure out a way to stop it, or figure out why, or find a solution, or find a way to survive… but… it’s inevitable. Death, is inevitable. But in the game, before the end you can talk to everyone. And someone says something along the lines of “I’m glad I stopped to smell the pine trees”. And I think that’s what’s resonating so much. We all have so little time, but we have time together, we have time to enjoy and time to learn and grow and be as happy as we can be. And in the end, my hope is that we will be together, and that maybe the end isn’t the end, but if it is, at least there’s always something after.. even if we’re not here to know it.
I love how so many people had such a profound, personal experience while playing Outer Wilds. But it's a feeling you only experience once. And I hate that I can't replay it - I'm left with a lingering feeling which I can't quite explain. But I'm glad you made this video because it's the second best thing with Outer Wilds - being able to share your experience with others.
I’m so sorry about your mom. I lost my grandma to cancer back in 2019 so, even though it’s definitely not the same as losing a mom, I can relate to that pain. Though I think something that’s important to remember in these situations is the time you had with them. You’re mom is a badass for fighting for 12 years while working and taking care of a family. My Grandma only lived for a year and a half after we found out about her cancer, but it was so much longer than any of us thought we would get. So, even though she’s gone, I’m glad that I had the time with her that I did. And I’m glad that you’ve been able to get at least 12 years with your mom and I’m hoping you get many more 💛
Thanks for being so vulnerable. I enjoyed hearing about your journey through the game. Especially how it relates to what you’re going through and how you saw that reflected through every inch of progress. I wish you and your mum the best.
I lost my dad when I was just 10. It took me a long time to process. I'm around the same age as you, so I can't say this is wisdom of experience, but I realized that grief doesn't go away, it just weaves back into your life over and over, and you have to face it again every time YOU change... and that this is a beautiful thing. Because we're still carrying the people we loved with us, letting them accompany us. Outer Wilds is an amazing game about how your experiences of the things that you will inevitably lose have a transformative power in the very fabric of space-time itself. To observe something settles it in reality. Your character's humble life resolves the infinite possibility of a nascent universe into one that has dimension and form. There are a handful of games I recommend to thanatophobic people like myself, one of them is Pathologic 2 and the other main one is Outer Wilds.
Man this is such a powerfull and personal Video, I loved every second of it, it was masterfully crafted, just like the game itself, there were a lot of details on it that made so much sense at the end. Im sure your mom is so proud of you.
My mom was diagnosed with early onset dementia when I was 20. back in 2010. She died a year and a half ago. I moved away to got married to the woman I love and have been with for a decade as well. But I always felt guilty and terrible because of it, leaving my dad to deal with that on his own. I always felt guilty and terrible about leaving my dad to take care of my mom. I really really felt you talking about that. I actually played Outer Wilds pretty much one year before my mom died. I dont know how to describe my experience with the game but the ending did hit me a lot at the time. I don't know why I'm commenting on this right now other then to say I really identified with your experience.
I don't know anything about loss but I don't yhink you should feel guilty about it all. If you're happy with your wife it's probably all that matters to your parents. But maybe you should talk about it with your father? know what he think about it? Again, I don't know anything about this so take it with 5 pounds of salts, but I do hope you can cope with it.
The "Fight your instincts" part was pretty cool 😄 The lack of traditional game mechanics and the non-traditional game designs are the main reasons why people love Outer Wilds and it's the very same reasons why some people don't like it or not even giving it a chance after barely playing it. I think Outer WIlds is a game that every gamer should play or at least try. It really doesn't matter what type of games you like, if it clicks to you, it clicks. LobosJr is a known Souls-like player and he evolved from not caring much to really liking Outer Wilds to the point he bought and recommended it to his friends. As for your personal struggles, this may be controversial and hopefully won't offend anyone especially you but these are just my personal beliefs and mindset. I'm sorry in advance and I'm not even sure if it would really help or what 😅 I always think that acceptance of reality will always help us deal with difficult things in life. As well as turning negative things into positive ones and I don't mean trying to lie and fool ourselves into believing something that isn't true but actually accepting a reality in a positive way. And here's a big example for that. As bad as losing a parent is, it is actually the ideal scenario to have in life. One of the worst things that could happen to a parent is to bury their child. Another thing is that there's a common thing between a completely healthy person and a terminal ill person. Both of them don't know exactly when they will die. And because of that, we should always live our life to the fullest regardless of our situation. So I think in your case, accept your mother's decision and just let her feel that things are normal and you live your life normally and happy with her 😄 My father was diagnosed with early stage of cancer 5 years ago and he started chemo last year. I know it's not possible to actually be ready for a big loss in life but at least consciously, I think I am ready because I accepted the reality of life. I just try to live happy with him everyday and spoil him with whatever he wants...except having a grand child from me 😂 I'm not really good with conveying my thoughts into words especially in English but hopefully what I said made sense 😂
I think you did a great job conveying how you felt in English. You could have fooled me into thinking it was your first language. I really appreciate your comment, I hadn't really thought about death in the family from that perspective, and I'm really glad that my mom has been around long enough to see me grow up. I have to be grateful for that. Your comment was very insightful and I value that perspective. Thank you.
I had a similar experience with Outer Wilds (though with a bit less frustration and nobody to share it with!) for my own personal reasons. It really does make you confront mortality in a deeply hopeful, cathartic way. It's no exaggeration to say that it's a truly life-changing experience. Given that much of your Outer Wilds experience had you facing down your fears, I'm curious to know whether you tried Echoes of the Eye and, if so, what you thought of it! Facing fear is its running theme. I almost couldn't play it -- the warning that if gives you that it might be scary psyched me out so badly that I could barely make progress at first. (Your comments about having a hard time with scary games due to the anxiety really resonated with me, heh. I had to get some spoiler-free assurances that the intense parts don't happen without warning: when you get there, you unequivocally know it, and you're there on purpose.)
I haven't tried Echoes yet for this exact reason haha, but I plan on giving it a try soon. Thank you for that assurance, definitely makes me feel more likely to start it up
I lost my mom to cancer at about 13, and... yeah. It's a lot, and it never stops being a lot. But you're never alone, either, and I truly appreciate games like this that help us to remember that. Thank you for a wonderful video. If you ever need to bend the ear of someone who has gone through similar struggles, feel free to send me a message- I'd be happy to listen.
Hey, man. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was six, and she managed to hold on for almist ten years, passing away when I was 15. I feel you. Outer Wilds made me feel things I hadn't felt in such a long time. Thank you for this video. You've put so many of my thoughts into words, I'm honestly at a loss. I really really needed this today. love you.
This video is two years old, so I can only assume that a certain eventuality has come to pass for you. I'm very sorry. My uncle (who I'm very close to) is going through smth similar and Outer Wilds has also helped me be more at ease with death. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability. Your mom loved and was loved greatly, and I'm sure she helped shape so many lives. She provided the seeds to create the "next universe" (in this case, the children who become our future ❤).
Wonderful analysis. Ok, trying to put this into words...I also felt an echo of what you did. I lost my mom 15 years ago... it feels like both a long time ago and like it happened yesterday. It was personally a world-ending event. It taught me that death is the high cost of living... that we were dead for billions of years, alive for a few decades, and then back to incorporealness again. The discovery of the inevitable final end of the Heat Death of the Universe, that this isn't just the end of only you, but of the Cosmos... why not live in the perpetual loop? But there is an escape... that some part of us will endure and continue on into the world after us. That hope of an imprint of immortality is so emotional, powerful, and comforting. That she mattered... that we will matter. The ripples remain. Here's to a an Ainulindalë in our own future...
@wizawhat Thank you for making this video. I lost my mother a year ago. She died due to brain tumor first diagnosed on 2008. It's been almost a year since you have posted this video so I do not know what you are currently going through. I mentioned this just to let you know that I understand your predicament. Being just a human, I cannot change that but know this, you're not alone. And if, at the end, you want me play a banjo, I'll be glad to join! Stay curious hatchling.
i came here for a nice little video about someone else's experience as someone who loves the game with every fiber of my being. i did not come here to cry and remember some of the worst times of my life, when i had to face fear and uncertainty while grappling hope and acceptance from any source i could. but you put it in the best words that can describe how it is to be deeply affected by outer wilds. thank you for sharing your story
I LOVE the sound when the new universe is born at the end of the game, It hit me even harder when I realized that the new universe was being birthed by the tones of the same song that the Outer Wilds Ventures crew played. Brilliant touch by the designers, one of so many.
I have watched your video probably five times through, and recommended it to others. My own journey through Outer Wilds was very similar. I had been living through a personal crisis for almost 10 years. This game helped me let go of the many things I could not change, and was an important reminder to stop and smell the pine trees along the way. Thank you for sharing your Outer Wilds adventure and personal story.
Although I randomly stumbled across your channel in the first palce, I want to say tank you so much for this video I am in a terrible state right now I struggle with anxiety, and frustration, and slowly loosing hope The message you convey is very powerful and gives me the currage to keep going and to be open about my feeling with my close ones
I wish the best for you, try to do little things to put your mind in the best position to cope with these feelings. I like to go on walks, get sun, exercise, and eat clean diet. It seriously helps
Often times I come back to this video. What you describe goes way beyond the media of videogames, of exploration and of fear. You have allowed yourself to experience art in the most profound manner, and in doing so, you shared with us one of the most personal and precious feelings one can ever have. I send you my most wholehearted condolences. Your mother was clearly an exceptional human being, and I'm sure the love you have for her will persist as much as the love she shared with you. God bless you.
spoiler warning for those scanning the comments before finishing the game/video. yeah I had a different solution when I got stuck at the ATP puzzle, instead of double checking the puzzle itself I double checked my tools and what they could do (cuz that was a stumping point for me a few points in the past because I wasnt fully familiar with them), and instead of rationally realizing that if anyone of my tools would be useful here the game design would make that somewhat clear, but no, my mind went: need to cover roof, need big object, hmmm, have ship, ship big! and it somehow worked xD just barely, it blocked the sand just long enough, it was starting to pull me up when I warped.
My grandfather died from skin cancer when I was 11. My parents battled with the decision of whether or not to let me into the hospice room during his final moments, but I loved him so much that I fought them to be there. It destroyed me. When I was 16, in therapy, my therapist said that I was confronted with something most 25 year olds can barely comprehend, at 11 years of age. From the day he died, I would have panic attacks multiple times a day, especially at night, centered around death. I was terrified to die, so much so that I stayed home from school for months because I was a wreck, and couldn't sit in a classroom without having a meltdown. I dealt with that fear for 17 years of my life, almost daily having panic attacks, even with medication. And then I played this game. I have tried to find solace in religion, but I'm a very logical minded person, and it just never sat right with me, but this game gave me a religion that single-handedly got me over my fear of death. It showed how everything, and I mean EVERYTHING is temporary. Even something so large and so unfathomably old as our universe, will one day end, and the laws of thermodynamics state that matter cannot be destroyed or created, only changed. This game showed me that even death will be a temporary thing. It will last billions of years, sure, but some 14.3 billion years later, my energy will find itself in a new universe, and I will exist again, and everyone I love will also exist again. I'm sorry about your mom, I know how hard it is to watch someone you love deal with cancer, my mom was diagnosed with blood cancer about 3 years ago, and thankfully the treatments are working and she will live a long life, I still lost my grandfather to it, and it is always hard. Thanks for being candid, and know that everything is temporary. It might not be for a long, long time, but you and your mom will eventually be around, hopefully in a much more just and happy world without the pain of cancer. Stay strong friend, and thanks for your video!
This video brought me to tears - listening to your experience, I was struck by how universal many of your pains and struggles are, and yet how personal and alienating they must feel to experience on an individual level. As if we were alone, staring at the vast emptiness of space before us, our world crumbling apart around us into something wholly unrecognisable, scary and unknown. Yet, despite it all, the light of our friends still echoes faintly from across the void. And if we were to pause just for a second, if we mustered the courage to wrench our gaze from the stars for a moment and instead cast it to our surroundings, listening to the tune of our familiar travellers, we would discover their comforting melodies gently calling out to us. Each carrying their own distinct stories, conveying stories of personal voyages interweaved with distinct colours, timbres and tunes, but still recognisable with their one common theme. We are not alone after all. While our perspectives of the insurmountable future bearing down on us are vastly different and our demons totally incomparable to each other, we still face the inevitable together. And in that one commonality of experience, we understand each other and we are united. As a result, despite our many differences and conflicting worldviews and perspectives, our music plays out as one, an epic symphony stretching out across the great depths between the stars, filling the darkening universe with our light, a comforting reminder that our stories live on through us. As our music calls out to the others from across the vastness of space, an invitation for others to join in on our merry-making, our temporary respite and our shared home, we face the inevitable together, our collective light raging against the looming darkness, until eventually, we break through to the other side, illuminating whatever awaits us. I'm left with this thought that, wherever you are, whatever may have happened to you since this video was published, you and your mother remain forever in our collective prayers, just as is certainly the case for each of the trials we separately face. I pray that her music never ceases to call out to you in this way from across the void, echoing firmly through the darkness, resonating somewhere deep within you, forever lifting you up and carrying you forward, reminding you of the courage and bravery that you already possess, that showed itself to you when you most needed it, that held you strong when confronted with the unknown. The same resolve that will continue to play its melody long after the light of the previous universe has faded, bearing you gently onwards towards the future, a faint and guiding light shining somewhere in the distance for those who follow afterwards in your footsteps, a comforting reminder of our shared ability to illuminate the unseen. And in that sense, your mother's memory lives on forever, undefeated by the passage of time and uneroded by the silence, a familiar campfire tune exchanged in friendly greeting between strangers in the dark✨
AAAGGGHHHH! That was a really REALLY well done video. Goodness! When the explosion hit at the end I damn near stood out of my chair for a standing ovation. You really put your heart out here and I can say for sure that it's connected with others'. I'm sorry to hear about your mom's cancer, but glad to hear that she has you with her for support. I've seen what that can take and it's not easy, but being there for them is incredibly worth it in the end. When I finished The Outer Wilds I definitely didn't connect with it as powerfully as you did. It certainly felt like there was something deeper that I was missing. And hearing your takeaway from it really opened my eyes to what that something was. And it's made me appreciate it that much more! So thank you for the new perspective, thank you for sharing your story, and best of luck with the future.
One thing i love about the game is how flushed out some of the npc’s are, like chert, for example, is very panicked at the prospect of death and “the end” when you tell him the universe is dying, and even at the last minute he starts being calm, even waiting for the supernova. Or self, there’s special dialogue if you’re mean to another npc or if you land on the sun station.
Thank you for sharing your-and so importantly, your mom's-story. As others have said, we only get one true playthrough of OW... but the emotions you hit on, the journey you've fought through, the way it impacted you; it's such a powerful way of taking us back through the game, while relating it back to your own experiences. This is one of the most profound readings I've seen yet. Which is saying something! It's incredible how many honest, thoughtful, vulnerable, and hauntingly beautiful videos have come out of this game. (Also, OW showed up on my "Most Played" list last year at a whopping ~60 hours [base + DLC combined, admittedly]... so I promise what you experienced at the Quantum Tower is 100% relatable haha)
Outerwilds has been my favourite game ever since I played it. I’ve played games all my life but this one absolutely changed viewpoint on everything. The absolute beauty this game allowed me see and feel is literally unmatched. I rarely ever cry from games but finishing outerwilds made me bawl my eyes out for days. Like just utter sobbing, ugly crying type of crying lol. I never realized why it impacted me the way it did, but how you explained your experience made something click in me. I think I finally understand why it feels so personal. Outerwilds connects a sense of loss, hope, grief, happiness and nostalgia in such a beautiful way. I do truly feel like it, in some way, outerwilds is a reflection of my life and everything that has led me to this point. I know you don’t know me lol, but I’ve recently started watching your videos and the way you tell stories and experiences speaks to me so deeply it’s kind of uncomfortable haha. You’ve said things in your videos that let me have a completely different view on things, I thank you so much for that. I’m so deeply sorry you have to deal with such a grief so young with your mother, I understand having to grieve someone who’s still here. My mother is in a similar situation. Dealing with multiple conditions that will eventually lead me to say my goodbyes to her. Hearing your experience with your mother, it almost felt like looking into a mirror.I honestly thank you, so much for being so personal on your channel. Keep up the amazing work, and please take care of yourself 💛
Hearing that my grandfather had Covid made my heart sink into my chest. The last time I talked to him was charismas 2020 and the last time I would hear his voice. The sinking feeling that someone is dying and that you cant do anything but hope and pray that they will be okay but deep down you know they won't be is unbearable. Love you gramps...
Watching you enter the sun tower while walking on the sand, instead of later... And having to fly through the corridor instead.... This game still blows my mind.
I come back to this video often, another great one is "The scale of outer wilds" by playing it straight. While that one captures its themes and how it felt, i think this video perfectly described the emotions of each major revelation in a way no other essay has. when you described how it felt to make it to ash twin and take the warp core through that horrifying journey that you had hours to rehearse and prepare for. Nothing smacked me harder than queuing in each member to play the travelers encore. God speed to you sir and thank you.
This is incredibly heartwarming, thank you for sharing such a personal experience about this very personal game. I love hearing everyone's different journeys with Outer Wilds, and while I certainly wasn't expecting the underlying sadness in yours, I'm grateful I got to be here to share it with you.
Hi, I don’t know you and I just stumbled onto your video after finishing playing outer wilds some days ago. Truly a magnificent experience. Thank you for sharing yours, I can imagine what you are going through as I lost my mother to cancer when I was 18… I know you will surely cherish the memories and the love you shared. Even when there’s no hope you have to remember there’s still that light, that love will always shine within you as you progress with your own journey. Trust your instincts and remember to enjoy the sweet time you share with the ones you care for, may it be in front of a campfire with good music and some marshmallow or anywhere else. I wish you all the best~ Thanks again for sharing
When I first began playing, I decided to investigate Timber Hearth first. I found the Bramble piece, fired a probe, and figured I’d go explore. The Dark Bramble was the first place I went to and I didn’t meet an angelfish the entire time. I actually thought I never had to go bad. I did what I needed to and left. Later on I realised there was more than one reason to go. So I did a bit of exploring and got eaten for the first time when I entered the Nest. Shat my pants.
Man, i love this game and i tried to explain to my GF how it made me feel and how it helped me in ways i didn't expect it to do. I am sad i can't experience it again but im happy i did when i needed it most. Thank you for the video and sharing your story and feelings. Now i sit here after finishing a 28 year old dude crying my eyes out. Thank you
While I was beating the game, I kept saying to myself, out loud, with a completely straight face, "Why am I crying? ... Wh ... why the fuck am I crying?" Thank you so much for sitting me down and explaining why I was crying.
I think this might be the most important perspective of Outer Wilds, and it really, truly understands why the game is so important. Thank you so much for this.
Thank you so much for this video! The saddest part about Outer Wilds is that there's no way to experience it again, but this video feels like it lets me do just that. It felt like I was sitting down with a good friend and listening to the unique stories and experiences they had with the game! It's a video I feel like I've been subconsciously begging for forever, so thank you!
My goal is always to connect with the viewer just like that, so thank you!
Give it 2-3 years. Hopefully by then you'll have forgotten the details, only remembering the broad strokes. At least, that's what it was like for me, which has let me go back into the game and relive it
That really is a big part of it. Outer Wilds is a game about loss, and once it's over it's over. The first time you play, the world feels exciting and new and alive. But when you come back to it, it feels like reliving a memory. The end of the universe in-game really feels like the end of a universe.
Check out Soviet Womble's playthrough if you haven't already! Similar vibes.
I'm going to try: a) Mods that add missions / objects; b) a randomizer. It will hit differently, but it's better than nothing. Until then, I will love watching other people's First Playthroughs and crying for the final 40 mins.
It's the kind of thing that makes you glad you stopped and smelled the pine trees along the way, you know? - Gabbro
Ahh, while I didn't end up "winning" the role, I auditioned for Gabbro for the Voice Acting mod and recorded that line many times and it and a lot of lines really stuck with me way more after literally reading them out loud
This game finally broke me with a single moment. I had flown miles away from the solar system to watch the nova from a distance, and I happened to pull out my signal scope. Hearing the traveler's melodies dip out one by one made me break down crying for the entire duration of the next loop
"as the credits hit, I wept"
Me too bro. Me too. I cried in front of my son and told him this was the best in gaming I've ever experienced.
I started crying after lighting that last campfire. I realized at that moment what I was doing. By the time the group started playing around the campfire I was a blubbering mess.
Once I learned what happens I thought the goal of the game was to stop it and then was absolutely devastated when I started to realize that wasn't going to happen. Then I just wanted to be able to lead other characters so they could experience something important to them in at least one timeline. (Specifically Reibeck, he just had to go down a wall and across a bridge and he would see the ancient civilization! I know he was scared, but it was a pretty safe trip before the bridge is broken.)
I got to that place. I went to Gabbro and while the game couldn't process his response I talked about it with him which was really me talking to a version of him inside my head. It helped but it was still such a difficult place to go to mentally.
I guess I was the only "selfish" player, as i got spoiled about how the sun has no stopping, so it became my life goal to see the eye, seriously the motivation to keep playing was "I wanna see that Eye" and I was not disappointed
@@sleeper6548 Don't think that. An argument could be made that those insisting on trying to stop the sun are the ones acting selfishly, out of a sense of trying to control things. The game is pretty unambiguously set up for you to want to experience the excitement and wonder of all the other explorers before you, so that you will emulate them and understand their experiences- which isn't selfish. Just my two cents
My grandpa just recently passed due to bone cancer. My uncle tried to OD the next day. And my father had a silent heart attack the following day. My friend recently told me to play outer wilds because it’s such a great game, and I love mysteries so I should love this game. I didn’t expect for it to teach me, about letting go. That it’s okay. I’ve always been someone who has despised change. I hate the thought of it. But this game challenged me to think a different way. And it showed me that change isn’t all bad. And that sometimes there is hope in loss. This game helped me through my grief of my grandfathers passing. Not a lot of games can do that. Spend every second with your mom. Whether it be a board game, tv show, or maybe simply making her favorite meal or telling her about your day. Hug your mom for me. Cause I never got to say or hug my grandpa before it took him. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the game, and I know sharing your pain wasn’t easy but thank you. We are hear for you, and we love you. ❤️❤️❤️
i hope you’re okay now. all love ❤
“It’s tempting to linger in this moment while every possibility still exists. But unless they are collapsed by an observer, they will never be more than possibilities.”
I think this quote at the very end of the game sums things up very nicely. When you’re not certain you want to move on, Solanum gives you these words. And I think this can be applied to your situation and many others. Thank you for sharing something so deep. I felt the same way when I played the game, and that reflection into yourself is the reason this game is amazing. You can run, and waste valuable time forever. Until you’re out of that time. Until you face things head on, and face the inevitable, your fears will never be anything more than possibilities. Time will never stop for anyone. But the journey and the way you spend that time is ultimately the most important part. Nothing lasts forever, and that’s ok. We may never get to experience some things that we wish to, and we may miss out on things we so desperately want to see or hold on to. But the important part is that we’re here right now, and we’re given this time and opportunity of life, love, fear, and even death as a gift. Your favorite movie would feel pointless without an ending. Your day at work can feel meaningless until you clock out and go on doing what you want to. And life would be meaningless without death. Uncertainty is in all things, but facing that discomfort is what makes everything you do in this life worth it. Thank you again for this video. This game is truly one of a kind!
Out of everyong I've seen talking about Outer Wilds, yours is the only analysis that I think got what is truly special about it.
What makes Outer Wilds special is the fact that through the complete freedom it gives to the player, it manages to become a mirror into one's own mind.
As a player searches for a meaning to all the information around them, they naturally start to see the game world as a sort of perfect metaphor for whatever they're thinking about at the moment.
It's truly magical, and a kind of feeling that no other game I have ever played has ever come close to replicating.
The other one that i think conveys something similar is razbutens video on the topic, but no one else pointed out how the game becomes a mirror for your own issues.
To me the message of Outer Wilds is this:
Death is inevitable. No matter how hard you try, no matter how much you learn, you can not change this one fact of life.
One way or another, death will arrive.
But it doesnt have to be the end.
More like a simple: enjoy the journey, the destination is secondary, to me.
@@DamianSzajnowski ^ What a Feldspar here, amirite?
@@DamianSzajnowski Okay.. maybe more of a Gabbro on second thought.
This, to me, is the purpose of the sun station in the game. For many (probably most) players, the key goal of the game is to stop the sun going supernova - to save everyone - and this is built up through the plans of the nomai: the sun station causes the supernova so it can be turned off! But you get there and it failed. The sun is going to explode (you cannot stop a natural death of a star) it is inevitable. It is such a good twist I love this game
@@doublespoonco Yeah it preys on the players belief that you always are the hero that saves the day like in every other game. It's subversion on a massive scale.
I feel compelled to leave a comment here because I was literally weeping when this video ended. Thank you for sharing your most intimate experience with us. I wasn't expecting anything so personal, so soft and so timid when I clicked on this video, wishing to entertain myself a bit before plunging back into work, and before realizing that my fear and timidity of the notion of losing my cancered grandma could resonate so much with someone else. I keep dreaming of her these days in a rosy and retrospective way, myself being thousands miles away from her hospice in another country. And I have to admit that it's the same specious "hope" that calcifies my inner vast emotions. Your confession gives me strength, and like Outer Wilds, not the immediate exhilaration but a deeper crooning sound, soft but solacing, telling me that everyone should lives their life to the fullest in their own solar system before the sun demises. Thank you for everything!
I'm sorry for your loss, it must be very hard being so far away. Thank you so much for the kind words and I hope you continue to find solace
You discover that you can’t escape death. But it somehow makes your life meaningful.
My grandpa is on hospice. It's definitely not the same as what you are going through for me, but it's rough and I hope everything goes smoothly for your family. ❤️ My mom would relate more to you, especially since she is caring for him. But it is rough especially because he just wants to move on already and my mom doesn't like seeing him with so little motivation for life. Mostly I hurt for my mom.
No idea if you'll read this as I'm very late to this video, but I lost my mom in April. I played Outer Wilds earlier in the year. I find myself coming back to this game again and again. I just keep thinking about it. How it's terrifying and frustrating and satisfying and beautiful all at once. Your video was so cathartic, and I thank you for making it.
Thank you. I'm so sorry for your loss, but I'm happy to be able to help, if only a little bit.
Thank you for sharing your story.
The discovery in the Sun Station is one of acceptance. You learn there that the game is not about overcoming destruction and preventing loss, but about accepting it. Understanding how frail we are. After I got the powered core, and shut down the Ash Twin Project, and as the music started playing, I immediately understood that the safety net below me, that of sending my memories back in time, had been removed. I understood that the next time I died would be the last. And then I thought:
"Just like in real life."
And that thought, and the weight of the whole situation, accompanied me for the rest of my journey, and it's something no other game managed to come close to.
Hey everyone. If you're interested in playing Outer Wilds and want to hold off from watching this video due to spoilers, I made what I think is a pretty important announcement at 25:43. It may affect how often content releases on this channel in the future.
Good on you for having the courage man. Lost my dad in 2020 right as the pandemic started. Been trying to find any sort of feeling but it's all very locked up. Your message unlocked a small bit of it. Hope you're well, and your mum is as comfortable as she can be. From mine to yours, all the best.
If you haven't played echoes yet, you should. Face the fear and traverse the darkness to find truth in the light.
@@innodationproduction of the eye?
About that, i think i owe you an apology.
When you said that your Mom had recently decided to switch to Hospice Care and that thus all Hope was gone, i didn't feel compassion for you or sadness on your behalf or anything like that.
I felt Jealousy. Because, as stupid as this sounds, you had the "opportunity" to loose hope.
My Father, someone who was probably the healthiest person i ever knew (he literally once in my lifetime was sick for two days) got his "tumorous growth" (not sure if that's the correct english term) Diagnosis a day before his 50th Birthday. I was 15. We tried it first with surgery as the doctors werent even sure it was a malicious growth (cancer) at first. From the time of the diagnosis to the surgery (three weeks later), it had quadrupled in size and they couldn't cut it all out, so we switched to Chemotherapy. It helped slow the growth, but it was too late. My Dad died just seven months after that diagnosis, suddenly and without any significant signs beforehand. To this day i ask myself if it could have been avoided, had we immediately started with Chemotherapy and i still feel guilty, because he asked each of us their opinion and i was scared of the dangers of Chemotherapy.
That's why i was jealous. Because it felt like you had gotten, what was taken from me: A chance to loose hope and come to terms with the inevtiable.
I also think that this "missed opportunity" lead to my poor mental health in the last years and even still today, among other problems a significant fear of loss, going as far as waking up multiple times in the middle of the night to make sure my mom was still alive, when my mental health was doing really bad.
I am slowly recovering but it's still not easy, especially because it's extremely hard for me to talk about this. It's much easier to write.
Thus again, i want to apologize. Jealousy isn't exactly the appropriate reaction when someone tells you that a loved one is going to die.
Initially i wanted to write here that, while you couldn't help me, i hope that you could help someone else, but writing all this down, letting it all out actually helped. At least a little bit.
So thank you and i hope you can help more people in the future. Or even better: I hope that we'll one day find a way that noone will even need this kind of help anymore, because we have beaten cancer once and for all.
Thank you, and i'm sorry.
@@avsbes98I just read this text you posted 6 months ago. I hope your doing better ❤️🩹
37:55 it was one year ago that you made this video. I sit at 2:30 in the morning watching this video having completed my story with outer wilds. I think about how you're doing in this moment, if you are healing from the loss, or still reeling from it. I think about my wife is sleeping in bed, knowing she has to be up in 3 1/2 hours to catch a flight for work. I think about how infinitely small we are, and that death is inevitable. And that's OK. Because in that inevitability, and existential dread that haunted me every waking hour for years of my life, I came out what outer wilds, realizing that it's OK. I felt my heart race, as I watched the universe die despite everything I tried. But in that death came music and new life. And I wasn't alone. I had those that I had gotten to know, and in that nonchalant way, they greeted the end in the beginning. I cried so hard. My face burned from the tears and my cheeks, a little sore. My wife didn't understand, she didn't understand why I was crying so hard. And I didn't have the words to describe that feeling of peace and love that washed over me. I hope that wherever you are in life right now, know that some random guy at 2:30 in the morning, watched your video, and found a kinship in you. He thought about you, hoping that you were at peace, that your fear had run its course, that you were able to smile again. Thank you for hearing me without even hearing a word. I know this is a long comment, and I apologize. So what I gain from outer wilds is that even in the inevitability of death, I can smile and love, and even if for only a fleeting moment, find peace.
Thank you for such a thoughtful comment.
reading this makes me think about how this game makes everyone want to talk about their experience . I don't know about you but Im almost angry that I can't put into words what the game makes me feel like
@@govanni2224 at times things can feel ineffable. I think there's some beauty in that. That means it was so powerful of an emotion that it became ineffable but you understood it.
I wept, too.
I lost my Dad, my favourite person, to cancer when I was 13. He fought it, the best he could. Some fights can’t be won.
I think sometimes we can mistake resignation for acceptance. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to say I’ve fully accepted my loss. A part of me will always think of what could have been. But… Well:
“It's tempting to linger in this moment, while every possibility still exists. But unless they are collapsed by an observer, they will never be more than possibilities.”
The trap of ‘What-Ifs’, of wishing for kinder fates, are a little like dreaming of possibilities after the fact. When it’s already been collapsed, and there is no going back. I resigned myself to my Dad’s passing, unfair and arbitrary as it was -as the universe IS- a long time ago. However, I think the Outer Wilds helped me move a step closer to genuine ‘acceptance’.
Your video is a part of that, too.
Thank you for making me understand *why* Outer Wilds hit me so hard on emotional level.
I wrote this while rather emotional, so I apologize for if it makes little sense. Just… Thank you. I’m sorry for what happened to your mother, to all of you, your entire family unit. Thank you for sharing your experience with the world, for the chance of it helping people like me.
Watching this video at 3 am I realized something... Outer Wilds hits everyone differently. It kinda shows us how we deal with or perceive loss.
When I finished playing it a while back, I remember the last stretch between the Ash Twin and the Vessel. I was shaking with nerves, holding the warp core. I tried to make sure I'd had every possible interaction with my crewmates and found out everything I could, 'cause I knew the end was coming, but I didn't want to get there without uncovering all the secrets.
My heart was racing, I was scared, then this incredible feeling of peace washed over me when I saw everyone at the campfire... and the final scene was just so heartwarming and bittersweet, seeing that the essence of everything we'd gone through would carry on to the new universe.
I felt bad that I didn't cry at the end of the game. Inside, I thought maybe I was too insensitive or something. But later, when I went to sleep that night, I remembered I'd felt the same way when my dad passed away a while back... and that's when the tears hit. I realized my experience in the game mirrored my own journey with loss, not as something that disappears, but as something that transforms. Like that day I saw my dad's look in my own eyes when I glanced in the mirror... I understood his whole story would always be with me, and that I was an extension of his essence. I think that's what Outer Wilds does, it lets us see how we perceive something as heavy as loss and loneliness... just amazing.
I finished this game last night and now I'm watching videos about to know how others felt while playing this absolute masterpiece. I was not expecting this tho. Every video I watched touches on an existential matter and emotional rollercoasters, but in a more generic way. This is one is so personal, so beautiful and so painful. I'm very sorry for your mom. I'm so happy you allowed yourself to be vulnerable and find comfort in your friends. I'm so glad I got to watch this amazing video, with great storytelling and filled with raw and real emotions. Thank you for this.
Probably my favorite thing to watch on RUclips are video essays like this. It's essays like this with so much heart, emotion, beauty, and meaning that truly resonate with me.
You've truly created something special here and I thank you for being willing to share it with all of us. Consider me a forever fan and I wish you and your mom all the best. ❤️
Wow... I've gone through something so similar and I think its the reason Outer Wilds hit me so hard. I lost my mother to cancer when I was 16. I'm 24 now and still feel it but after playing this masterpiece it definitely helped and made me understand that finality is a normality. Thank you for sharing your story and making this amazing video. Wishing you the best
Man, I may regret being spoiled by seeing this, but dammit Wiz, you are just a great storyteller! I just have to hear the stories!
And I feel for you about your mom, Wiz. My mom had throat cancer and she luckily conquered it, but her throat is a mess and has to feed using a tube mostly.
Thank you for being candid with us, dude. We are here for you.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna find a hammer and erase the spoilers from my head. *BONK*
I'm really glad your mom is okay man, thanks for the kind words
@@wizawhat *sending hugs *
This vid is special ♥️ I am sorry that you have had to deal with what has been going on, but am so happy you have people to lean on.
Powerful stuff. Happy you got to share your experience!
Echoes of the Eye is great too by the way. It doesn't cheaping the original's ending in case you're too afraid to lose that impact.
As soon as you said it reflected back your pain, my tears flowed. I've always wondered how many others had a similar experience. Beautiful stuff. I've never played a game that's literally enriched my life. Thank you for this.
You are one of the most genuine, and truly human youtubers I have ever seen. Your relatable, your empathetic, your very well spoken, your content is well thought, and your skill of editing is phenomenal. You remind me that every one has struggles, many the same as my own, and many... many I wouldn't even know how to tackle on my own. At the same time you are a bastion of hope reminding us all that we don't have to go through anything alone. I'm soo sorry about your mother. I'm a complete stranger to you, and yet I feel deeply for you and your situation. I myself am 26 years old. I have a wife and 2 children. We have gone through our own trials and tribulations. I have grown numb to a lot of things through out my life so far as just a survival skill to just pull myself up and go through the day just to keep surviving. I may not be able to give you anything more than just my praise and encouragement. I have liked and subscribed to you, and I hope you never give up. I cant even begin to explain how this video made me feel. Just wow... Keep it up... and hopefully ill be seeing you around. Thank you for this video. Yes I love the outer wilds but sir you shook me too my core in 38:11.
Thank you so much for your support and kind words!
You're experience with your mom reminded me a bit about when my grandparents were suffering with Alzheimers and Dementia.
Hey Wizawhat ! I don't even know where to begin. Your video spoke so deeply to me. It's been two month since I finished Outer Wilds and I can't seem to let this experience go away. This game shook me, brought tears to my eyes, tears of joy, nostalgia, relief, melancholia. It is strange how this game could reach to so many deep emotions.
But I must say that what I liked the most here, was how you approached this video. The emotional way of dealing with this content rather than just doing a scientific analysis was very touching. And I don't really know how to say this but it made a connection. I could relate to so many things you said, not only about the game but on a human scale too; the way of dealing with emotions, notably fear and axiety, the will to let yourself be vulnerable in front of others, to accept this part of you. It is almost as if I was speaking to myself for a little bit.
Anyway, maybe it is a little bit silly, but I wanted to share this feeling with you. I wanted to thank you for sharing your experience so honestly. I wanted to wish you the best going through all these adventures life has in store for us, good or bad. And to let you know that what you do and who you are can even reach to a random person like me, probably miles and miles away from you, but still in the same Solar System, crying over the same game ! ;)
cheers man, I wish you all the best
Not silly at all! I'm glad we can share this experience together. It's why I made the video! Thank you so much for your comment ☺️
Beautiful review, and to tie it in with a real world loss as big as that just shows the power of this game. It's not even the game itself, but the way it makes you feel and think. You did a great job expressing that.
I cheered and laughed plenty hearing about your journey through OW and also felt your pain. For a lot of people, the experience of playing OW brings up what grieves us most - whatever's most raw. And very strangely, in a lot of cases, helps us accept it. Or so I gather from hearing various friends and streamers talk about it. Thank you for sharing your version of this in a really vulnerable way with all of us.
I wish I could watch this video, but I still need to play Outer Wilds :P
All good! I'd rather you play it then come watch this later
don't wait, just do
I can relate to everything you said. Although my personal situation is a bit different, I think we can all agree that Outer Wilds taught us something profound. Something that is not about video games at all. I played the base story a year ago and didn't have the courage to start the DCL until now because I knew that I'd have to go through all those emotions again. Turns out a year was not enough beacuse I find that I still had not been able to genuinely calm down. I've read great books, heard inspiring music and seen amazing movies yet this is the only story that has kept me awake at night, in a good way. Every time I see the title somewhere or hear the music I still get goosebumps.
I'm so glad this game gave you that sense of being heard for all you're going through right now. Thank you for sharing this. It definitely helps even if I can't directly relate, I think we all have our stories of loss.
Looking forward to checking out the rest of the video once I get to play. the game
Thank you that was a great video. I always come back to Outer Wilds when someone close to me dies and it helped me a lot dealing with it. I no longer see death as this scary crushing defeat but rather as the end of a great journey.
I've never heard someone describe the fear I feel as well as you did. I never got it for the dark bramble because I didn't explore it early, but I very much am feeling it when beginning echoes of the eye, just pure dread knowing *something* will happen, even with zero idea of what that something is going to be. Hoping I can get over that fear soon haha.
I am sad that I will never get to play this masterpiece. I watched an LP by a youtuber as my first exposure to the game, and was hooked all the way through. But the problem with that is that I can never ever play the game myself. It would feel hollow. The sense of discovery is forever lost to me, and the best way to recoup that now is to watch other people experience it for the first time.
19:09 Just a tip, you don't need to exit your ship to get past the anglers. Just fly in there and put the controller down for a minute until they're out of view (ship rotation is fine). You can actually do a tiny bit of thrust around them, but I don't risk it.
Haha yeah I learned about that soon after my first playthrough. I had trouble with that initially which is why I was ejecting but I've since figured out how to get past them in the ship
thank you for making this video, it's genuinely moved me to tears
i just finished outer wilds, after 4 years of it gathering dust in my steam library, always downloaded, waiting for me.
i don't know why i waited for so long to play it, it just kind of turned out like this. And i honestly still don't exactly know what lesson i've learnt, i feel like there's more i'm not seeing, i feel like there's many, many small lessons this game taught me. but thanks to your video i know one thing for sure! you've helped me overcame the guilt that came from googling a tutorial when i was felt truly stuck in some places, when i had all the pieces but the gears kept grinding in my head, i tried my best, but when i needed it - i sought help, a small push forwards. I wish I could write this comment as well as you did your video hah! but once again, thank you for telling your story
this game has made me feel real true grief for a universe that never even actually physically existed. i fully believed "this is a video game there has to be a solution" i wanted to bring feldspar home, i wanted to stop the supernova and the sheer helplessness i felt at the sun station is indescribable.
the ancient glade is truly one of the most beautiful places in the end. and it shows you that things end and that is okay.
It is fucking hard some times. I was your age when I lost mine. Her sickness just wore her down. And it hurts. And it is easier to put that face on. But we wake up and do another day.
Cherish the memories. Take the pictures. Love. Live. And you are heard.
Genuine strife and emotion is something that no one wants to talk about. This was a beautiful video. Hang in there. ❤
I finished the game today, 1 hour before I had to go to the hospital to stay with my mother, who is currentlly fighting cancer. It was not easy listening to your message all the way without crying.
Thank you. Trully
I'm sorry we've shared this experience. I wish you the best.
At my aunts funeral, her older brother spoke about when they were kids. My uncle said he remembered seeing her playing in the backyard and understanding that the feelings inside him were love. She was the first time he knew that he truly loved something. He was devastated by her death. We all were. She overdosed and her death caught us all by surprise. I remember him later telling me something that I will never forget.
He said that no one is ever truly gone. We are all apart of the universe's history. The universe cannot exist in the way that it does without every single little thing that has ever existed in the way that it had existed. In this way they are never gone. Never forgotten. Things change but they only change because they once were a certain way. Even at the end of time, the heat death of all things. After all the civilizations have gone quiet. When only silence remains. The universe will linger in that eternal night and remember.
I saw Eurothug4000 share this video on Twitter and clicked because Outer Wilds
Didn't realise the video was about 5 minutes old! So I'm chucking a comment in straight away for the algorithm
Thank you so much for talking about your experiences. As someone whose mom has a brain tumor that she refuses to have treated or tell anyone else about, it means so much to me to hear someone else found a different kind of hope from this game, too.
My heart hurts for you, stay strong.
I just finished Outer Wilds today and I just wanted to watch some nice videos on it, now I'm sitting here crying but it just feels right! Thank you so much for sharing your experience, both you and your mom are very strong and she has raised a very loving and kind person! My dad also has cancer, and for the moment he is doing fine but I totally get you on that constant feeling of dread because you never know how long it's gonna be fine for, and for me it's been especially hard to even have feelings of hope because I'm always scared I will be disappointed if its wrong. Nonetheless, I'm still grateful for all the time and even the tiniest sparks of hope that exist in our lives. Outer Wilds is truly amazing.
Hope the DLC makes you as happy as the base game
there is no chance it wont make anyone as happy if not more happy than the base game. its magnificent
that personal bit was really beautifully said. i definitly feel you man
I remember catching one of the first streams of you playing the game when you weren't really feeling super sure about it, seeing this now is cool
That's honestly crazy, it's been so long since then. Glad to see you here.
I just want to send you, your mom and the rest of your family lots of love. I wish I could magically fix everything. Still, thank you for sharing; this video is immensely beautiful, inspiring, and turned out to be exactly what I needed today.
Top ten games that I've played in the last decade. Little things about toying with the physics, the experience overall and my facsination with space. Fantastic game I wish I could play anew again.
The quantum observatory will always destroy me.
You are brave, thankyou for sharing such a deep sorrow with us all. There is beauty in everything, no matter how tragic.
Hey man, my dad is in the hospital rn and has been for several days and I’m very scared and he has been sick and he lives with me but the past few days I’ve been feeling really lonely at home and scared of the thought of losing him . Needless to say, I had the thought to spoil some outer wilds as a way to distract me or hopefully give me some sort of comfort with this situation, and I got that from your outro on loss. Thank you for sharing it just helped me a lot tonight
Stay strong. I'm praying for your family and I'll be thinking of you.
This video made me tear up as I thought about my similar experiences with parents and cancer. Incredible work, Brother. ❤
No other game in existence has made me as terrified as Outer Wilds.
It's the most perfect horror game without even being one. The sensation as you go into Dark Bramble for the first time, the overwhelming nature of the raging storm within Giant's Deep, the ever looming black hole on Brittle Hollow, and the claustrophobic caverns of Ember Twin. All of it a perfect symphony of cosmic horror: fear of the unknown
I’ve been wondering for the better part of 2 years why this game got to me the way it did. The theme music alone makes me weep. But I’ve been watching replays of the game just because I love it so much…
This video made me realize why. It’s because I’m going through a very similar thing. Like very similar. Almost to a t, though the sickness is different.
And you just helped me realize it’s because I’m worried, scared, confused and sad. Knowing that the sun will explode in 22 minutes, trying my best to figure out a way to stop it, or figure out why, or find a solution, or find a way to survive… but… it’s inevitable. Death, is inevitable.
But in the game, before the end you can talk to everyone. And someone says something along the lines of “I’m glad I stopped to smell the pine trees”. And I think that’s what’s resonating so much.
We all have so little time, but we have time together, we have time to enjoy and time to learn and grow and be as happy as we can be. And in the end, my hope is that we will be together, and that maybe the end isn’t the end, but if it is, at least there’s always something after.. even if we’re not here to know it.
I love how so many people had such a profound, personal experience while playing Outer Wilds. But it's a feeling you only experience once. And I hate that I can't replay it - I'm left with a lingering feeling which I can't quite explain.
But I'm glad you made this video because it's the second best thing with Outer Wilds - being able to share your experience with others.
I’m so sorry about your mom. I lost my grandma to cancer back in 2019 so, even though it’s definitely not the same as losing a mom, I can relate to that pain. Though I think something that’s important to remember in these situations is the time you had with them. You’re mom is a badass for fighting for 12 years while working and taking care of a family. My Grandma only lived for a year and a half after we found out about her cancer, but it was so much longer than any of us thought we would get. So, even though she’s gone, I’m glad that I had the time with her that I did. And I’m glad that you’ve been able to get at least 12 years with your mom and I’m hoping you get many more 💛
Thanks for being so vulnerable. I enjoyed hearing about your journey through the game. Especially how it relates to what you’re going through and how you saw that reflected through every inch of progress. I wish you and your mum the best.
Thank you for sharing this. It's honestly one of the most touching essays I've seen.
I lost my dad when I was just 10. It took me a long time to process. I'm around the same age as you, so I can't say this is wisdom of experience, but I realized that grief doesn't go away, it just weaves back into your life over and over, and you have to face it again every time YOU change... and that this is a beautiful thing. Because we're still carrying the people we loved with us, letting them accompany us. Outer Wilds is an amazing game about how your experiences of the things that you will inevitably lose have a transformative power in the very fabric of space-time itself. To observe something settles it in reality. Your character's humble life resolves the infinite possibility of a nascent universe into one that has dimension and form.
There are a handful of games I recommend to thanatophobic people like myself, one of them is Pathologic 2 and the other main one is Outer Wilds.
Man this is such a powerfull and personal Video, I loved every second of it, it was masterfully crafted, just like the game itself, there were a lot of details on it that made so much sense at the end. Im sure your mom is so proud of you.
My mom was diagnosed with early onset dementia when I was 20. back in 2010. She died a year and a half ago. I moved away to got married to the woman I love and have been with for a decade as well. But I always felt guilty and terrible because of it, leaving my dad to deal with that on his own. I always felt guilty and terrible about leaving my dad to take care of my mom.
I really really felt you talking about that. I actually played Outer Wilds pretty much one year before my mom died. I dont know how to describe my experience with the game but the ending did hit me a lot at the time.
I don't know why I'm commenting on this right now other then to say I really identified with your experience.
I don't know anything about loss but I don't yhink you should feel guilty about it all. If you're happy with your wife it's probably all that matters to your parents. But maybe you should talk about it with your father? know what he think about it?
Again, I don't know anything about this so take it with 5 pounds of salts, but I do hope you can cope with it.
I'm sorry for your loss, but I think you should try to find a way to release that guilt. Your mom would probably want that.
The "Fight your instincts" part was pretty cool 😄
The lack of traditional game mechanics and the non-traditional game designs are the main reasons why people love Outer Wilds and it's the very same reasons why some people don't like it or not even giving it a chance after barely playing it. I think Outer WIlds is a game that every gamer should play or at least try. It really doesn't matter what type of games you like, if it clicks to you, it clicks.
LobosJr is a known Souls-like player and he evolved from not caring much to really liking Outer Wilds to the point he bought and recommended it to his friends.
As for your personal struggles, this may be controversial and hopefully won't offend anyone especially you but these are just my personal beliefs and mindset.
I'm sorry in advance and I'm not even sure if it would really help or what 😅
I always think that acceptance of reality will always help us deal with difficult things in life.
As well as turning negative things into positive ones and I don't mean trying to lie and fool ourselves into believing something that isn't true but actually accepting a reality in a positive way.
And here's a big example for that.
As bad as losing a parent is, it is actually the ideal scenario to have in life.
One of the worst things that could happen to a parent is to bury their child.
Another thing is that there's a common thing between a completely healthy person and a terminal ill person.
Both of them don't know exactly when they will die. And because of that, we should always live our life to the fullest regardless of our situation.
So I think in your case, accept your mother's decision and just let her feel that things are normal and you live your life normally and happy with her 😄
My father was diagnosed with early stage of cancer 5 years ago and he started chemo last year.
I know it's not possible to actually be ready for a big loss in life but at least consciously, I think I am ready because I accepted the reality of life.
I just try to live happy with him everyday and spoil him with whatever he wants...except having a grand child from me 😂
I'm not really good with conveying my thoughts into words especially in English but hopefully what I said made sense 😂
I think you did a great job conveying how you felt in English. You could have fooled me into thinking it was your first language. I really appreciate your comment, I hadn't really thought about death in the family from that perspective, and I'm really glad that my mom has been around long enough to see me grow up. I have to be grateful for that. Your comment was very insightful and I value that perspective. Thank you.
I had a similar experience with Outer Wilds (though with a bit less frustration and nobody to share it with!) for my own personal reasons. It really does make you confront mortality in a deeply hopeful, cathartic way. It's no exaggeration to say that it's a truly life-changing experience.
Given that much of your Outer Wilds experience had you facing down your fears, I'm curious to know whether you tried Echoes of the Eye and, if so, what you thought of it! Facing fear is its running theme. I almost couldn't play it -- the warning that if gives you that it might be scary psyched me out so badly that I could barely make progress at first. (Your comments about having a hard time with scary games due to the anxiety really resonated with me, heh. I had to get some spoiler-free assurances that the intense parts don't happen without warning: when you get there, you unequivocally know it, and you're there on purpose.)
I haven't tried Echoes yet for this exact reason haha, but I plan on giving it a try soon. Thank you for that assurance, definitely makes me feel more likely to start it up
I lost my mom to cancer at about 13, and... yeah. It's a lot, and it never stops being a lot. But you're never alone, either, and I truly appreciate games like this that help us to remember that.
Thank you for a wonderful video. If you ever need to bend the ear of someone who has gone through similar struggles, feel free to send me a message- I'd be happy to listen.
Hey, man. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was six, and she managed to hold on for almist ten years, passing away when I was 15. I feel you. Outer Wilds made me feel things I hadn't felt in such a long time.
Thank you for this video. You've put so many of my thoughts into words, I'm honestly at a loss. I really really needed this today. love you.
This video is two years old, so I can only assume that a certain eventuality has come to pass for you. I'm very sorry. My uncle (who I'm very close to) is going through smth similar and Outer Wilds has also helped me be more at ease with death. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability. Your mom loved and was loved greatly, and I'm sure she helped shape so many lives. She provided the seeds to create the "next universe" (in this case, the children who become our future ❤).
You are correct. She passed on 4/17/22. Thank you for your support.
Wonderful analysis. Ok, trying to put this into words...I also felt an echo of what you did. I lost my mom 15 years ago... it feels like both a long time ago and like it happened yesterday. It was personally a world-ending event. It taught me that death is the high cost of living... that we were dead for billions of years, alive for a few decades, and then back to incorporealness again. The discovery of the inevitable final end of the Heat Death of the Universe, that this isn't just the end of only you, but of the Cosmos... why not live in the perpetual loop? But there is an escape... that some part of us will endure and continue on into the world after us. That hope of an imprint of immortality is so emotional, powerful, and comforting. That she mattered... that we will matter. The ripples remain. Here's to a an Ainulindalë in our own future...
@wizawhat Thank you for making this video. I lost my mother a year ago. She died due to brain tumor first diagnosed on 2008. It's been almost a year since you have posted this video so I do not know what you are currently going through. I mentioned this just to let you know that I understand your predicament. Being just a human, I cannot change that but know this, you're not alone. And if, at the end, you want me play a banjo, I'll be glad to join! Stay curious hatchling.
Thank you, my mom ended up passing on April 17th last year. I'm sorry for our collective loss
@@wizawhat my condolences. They were two of the toughest ones!
i came here for a nice little video about someone else's experience as someone who loves the game with every fiber of my being. i did not come here to cry and remember some of the worst times of my life, when i had to face fear and uncertainty while grappling hope and acceptance from any source i could. but you put it in the best words that can describe how it is to be deeply affected by outer wilds. thank you for sharing your story
I LOVE the sound when the new universe is born at the end of the game, It hit me even harder when I realized that the new universe was being birthed by the tones of the same song that the Outer Wilds Ventures crew played. Brilliant touch by the designers, one of so many.
The most heartwarming and hope filled story about the inevitable heat-death of the universe.
I have watched your video probably five times through, and recommended it to others. My own journey through Outer Wilds was very similar. I had been living through a personal crisis for almost 10 years. This game helped me let go of the many things I could not change, and was an important reminder to stop and smell the pine trees along the way. Thank you for sharing your Outer Wilds adventure and personal story.
Although I randomly stumbled across your channel in the first palce, I want to say tank you so much for this video
I am in a terrible state right now
I struggle with anxiety, and frustration, and slowly loosing hope
The message you convey is very powerful and gives me the currage to keep going and to be open about my feeling with my close ones
I wish the best for you, try to do little things to put your mind in the best position to cope with these feelings. I like to go on walks, get sun, exercise, and eat clean diet. It seriously helps
Thank you for this video, not only was it exceptionally well made- it was also incredibly kindhearted and genuine.
I have a simmilar story, but with my grandmother. Outer wilds reminded me, how precious time is
Often times I come back to this video. What you describe goes way beyond the media of videogames, of exploration and of fear. You have allowed yourself to experience art in the most profound manner, and in doing so, you shared with us one of the most personal and precious feelings one can ever have.
I send you my most wholehearted condolences. Your mother was clearly an exceptional human being, and I'm sure the love you have for her will persist as much as the love she shared with you. God bless you.
spoiler warning for those scanning the comments before finishing the game/video.
yeah I had a different solution when I got stuck at the ATP puzzle, instead of double checking the puzzle itself I double checked my tools and what they could do (cuz that was a stumping point for me a few points in the past because I wasnt fully familiar with them), and instead of rationally realizing that if anyone of my tools would be useful here the game design would make that somewhat clear, but no, my mind went:
need to cover roof, need big object, hmmm, have ship, ship big!
and it somehow worked xD just barely, it blocked the sand just long enough, it was starting to pull me up when I warped.
My grandfather died from skin cancer when I was 11. My parents battled with the decision of whether or not to let me into the hospice room during his final moments, but I loved him so much that I fought them to be there. It destroyed me. When I was 16, in therapy, my therapist said that I was confronted with something most 25 year olds can barely comprehend, at 11 years of age. From the day he died, I would have panic attacks multiple times a day, especially at night, centered around death. I was terrified to die, so much so that I stayed home from school for months because I was a wreck, and couldn't sit in a classroom without having a meltdown. I dealt with that fear for 17 years of my life, almost daily having panic attacks, even with medication.
And then I played this game. I have tried to find solace in religion, but I'm a very logical minded person, and it just never sat right with me, but this game gave me a religion that single-handedly got me over my fear of death. It showed how everything, and I mean EVERYTHING is temporary. Even something so large and so unfathomably old as our universe, will one day end, and the laws of thermodynamics state that matter cannot be destroyed or created, only changed. This game showed me that even death will be a temporary thing. It will last billions of years, sure, but some 14.3 billion years later, my energy will find itself in a new universe, and I will exist again, and everyone I love will also exist again.
I'm sorry about your mom, I know how hard it is to watch someone you love deal with cancer, my mom was diagnosed with blood cancer about 3 years ago, and thankfully the treatments are working and she will live a long life, I still lost my grandfather to it, and it is always hard. Thanks for being candid, and know that everything is temporary. It might not be for a long, long time, but you and your mom will eventually be around, hopefully in a much more just and happy world without the pain of cancer. Stay strong friend, and thanks for your video!
This video brought me to tears - listening to your experience, I was struck by how universal many of your pains and struggles are, and yet how personal and alienating they must feel to experience on an individual level. As if we were alone, staring at the vast emptiness of space before us, our world crumbling apart around us into something wholly unrecognisable, scary and unknown. Yet, despite it all, the light of our friends still echoes faintly from across the void. And if we were to pause just for a second, if we mustered the courage to wrench our gaze from the stars for a moment and instead cast it to our surroundings, listening to the tune of our familiar travellers, we would discover their comforting melodies gently calling out to us. Each carrying their own distinct stories, conveying stories of personal voyages interweaved with distinct colours, timbres and tunes, but still recognisable with their one common theme. We are not alone after all. While our perspectives of the insurmountable future bearing down on us are vastly different and our demons totally incomparable to each other, we still face the inevitable together. And in that one commonality of experience, we understand each other and we are united. As a result, despite our many differences and conflicting worldviews and perspectives, our music plays out as one, an epic symphony stretching out across the great depths between the stars, filling the darkening universe with our light, a comforting reminder that our stories live on through us. As our music calls out to the others from across the vastness of space, an invitation for others to join in on our merry-making, our temporary respite and our shared home, we face the inevitable together, our collective light raging against the looming darkness, until eventually, we break through to the other side, illuminating whatever awaits us. I'm left with this thought that, wherever you are, whatever may have happened to you since this video was published, you and your mother remain forever in our collective prayers, just as is certainly the case for each of the trials we separately face. I pray that her music never ceases to call out to you in this way from across the void, echoing firmly through the darkness, resonating somewhere deep within you, forever lifting you up and carrying you forward, reminding you of the courage and bravery that you already possess, that showed itself to you when you most needed it, that held you strong when confronted with the unknown. The same resolve that will continue to play its melody long after the light of the previous universe has faded, bearing you gently onwards towards the future, a faint and guiding light shining somewhere in the distance for those who follow afterwards in your footsteps, a comforting reminder of our shared ability to illuminate the unseen. And in that sense, your mother's memory lives on forever, undefeated by the passage of time and uneroded by the silence, a familiar campfire tune exchanged in friendly greeting between strangers in the dark✨
This video shook *me* to my core.
This video is special, thanks for sharing your experience with the community
AAAGGGHHHH! That was a really REALLY well done video. Goodness!
When the explosion hit at the end I damn near stood out of my chair for a standing ovation. You really put your heart out here and I can say for sure that it's connected with others'.
I'm sorry to hear about your mom's cancer, but glad to hear that she has you with her for support. I've seen what that can take and it's not easy, but being there for them is incredibly worth it in the end.
When I finished The Outer Wilds I definitely didn't connect with it as powerfully as you did. It certainly felt like there was something deeper that I was missing. And hearing your takeaway from it really opened my eyes to what that something was. And it's made me appreciate it that much more!
So thank you for the new perspective, thank you for sharing your story, and best of luck with the future.
One thing i love about the game is how flushed out some of the npc’s are, like chert, for example, is very panicked at the prospect of death and “the end” when you tell him the universe is dying, and even at the last minute he starts being calm, even waiting for the supernova.
Or self, there’s special dialogue if you’re mean to another npc or if you land on the sun station.
Thank you for sharing your-and so importantly, your mom's-story. As others have said, we only get one true playthrough of OW... but the emotions you hit on, the journey you've fought through, the way it impacted you; it's such a powerful way of taking us back through the game, while relating it back to your own experiences. This is one of the most profound readings I've seen yet.
Which is saying something! It's incredible how many honest, thoughtful, vulnerable, and hauntingly beautiful videos have come out of this game.
(Also, OW showed up on my "Most Played" list last year at a whopping ~60 hours [base + DLC combined, admittedly]... so I promise what you experienced at the Quantum Tower is 100% relatable haha)
Outerwilds has been my favourite game ever since I played it. I’ve played games all my life but this one absolutely changed viewpoint on everything. The absolute beauty this game allowed me see and feel is literally unmatched. I rarely ever cry from games but finishing outerwilds made me bawl my eyes out for days. Like just utter sobbing, ugly crying type of crying lol. I never realized why it impacted me the way it did, but how you explained your experience made something click in me. I think I finally understand why it feels so personal. Outerwilds connects a sense of loss, hope, grief, happiness and nostalgia in such a beautiful way. I do truly feel like it, in some way, outerwilds is a reflection of my life and everything that has led me to this point.
I know you don’t know me lol, but I’ve recently started watching your videos and the way you tell stories and experiences speaks to me so deeply it’s kind of uncomfortable haha. You’ve said things in your videos that let me have a completely different view on things, I thank you so much for that. I’m so deeply sorry you have to deal with such a grief so young with your mother, I understand having to grieve someone who’s still here. My mother is in a similar situation. Dealing with multiple conditions that will eventually lead me to say my goodbyes to her. Hearing your experience with your mother, it almost felt like looking into a mirror.I honestly thank you, so much for being so personal on your channel.
Keep up the amazing work, and please take care of yourself 💛
Really heartening story to hear about this game connecting to someone, and especially strong of you to share your pain. Love to you and your mom
Hearing that my grandfather had Covid made my heart sink into my chest. The last time I talked to him was charismas 2020 and the last time I would hear his voice. The sinking feeling that someone is dying and that you cant do anything but hope and pray that they will be okay but deep down you know they won't be is unbearable. Love you gramps...
Watching you enter the sun tower while walking on the sand, instead of later... And having to fly through the corridor instead.... This game still blows my mind.
I come back to this video often, another great one is "The scale of outer wilds" by playing it straight. While that one captures its themes and how it felt, i think this video perfectly described the emotions of each major revelation in a way no other essay has. when you described how it felt to make it to ash twin and take the warp core through that horrifying journey that you had hours to rehearse and prepare for. Nothing smacked me harder than queuing in each member to play the travelers encore. God speed to you sir and thank you.
This is incredibly heartwarming, thank you for sharing such a personal experience about this very personal game. I love hearing everyone's different journeys with Outer Wilds, and while I certainly wasn't expecting the underlying sadness in yours, I'm grateful I got to be here to share it with you.
Hi, I don’t know you and I just stumbled onto your video after finishing playing outer wilds some days ago. Truly a magnificent experience.
Thank you for sharing yours, I can imagine what you are going through as I lost my mother to cancer when I was 18… I know you will surely cherish the memories and the love you shared. Even when there’s no hope you have to remember there’s still that light, that love will always shine within you as you progress with your own journey. Trust your instincts and remember to enjoy the sweet time you share with the ones you care for, may it be in front of a campfire with good music and some marshmallow or anywhere else.
I wish you all the best~ Thanks again for sharing
When I first began playing, I decided to investigate Timber Hearth first. I found the Bramble piece, fired a probe, and figured I’d go explore.
The Dark Bramble was the first place I went to and I didn’t meet an angelfish the entire time. I actually thought I never had to go bad. I did what I needed to and left.
Later on I realised there was more than one reason to go. So I did a bit of exploring and got eaten for the first time when I entered the Nest.
Shat my pants.
Man, i love this game and i tried to explain to my GF how it made me feel and how it helped me in ways i didn't expect it to do. I am sad i can't experience it again but im happy i did when i needed it most. Thank you for the video and sharing your story and feelings. Now i sit here after finishing a 28 year old dude crying my eyes out. Thank you
While I was beating the game, I kept saying to myself, out loud, with a completely straight face, "Why am I crying? ... Wh ... why the fuck am I crying?"
Thank you so much for sitting me down and explaining why I was crying.
I think this might be the most important perspective of Outer Wilds, and it really, truly understands why the game is so important. Thank you so much for this.
Beautiful video. You’ve made something really special with this one man. Thank you for sharing your story.