Autism & Society Explained: Gaslighting (& the Importance of Allies & Community)

Поделиться
HTML-код
  • Опубликовано: 23 июл 2024
  • Autistic people are gaslighted throughout life, sometimes by people who don't even realise they're doing it. It has consequences for us individually and for our place in society. This week's video explains what gaslighting is, how it constantly enters our lives and why allies and the ever-growing autistic community are our best defence.
    #EngageAutism
    Support Autistamatic on Patreon
    / autistamatic
    Find more at
    www.autistamatic.com/
    Autistamatic Merch:
    www.teepublic.com/user/autist...
    Made with Shotcut, open source video editing software
    shotcut.org/
    Images, stock video, sound effects and music not created by the channel have been obtained from RUclips creator resources or from the following sources:
    www.rgbstock.com/​​
    www.videvo.net/​​ (author - Videvo)
    pixabay.com/​​
    filmmusic.io/​​
    freesound.org/​​
    Every effort has been made to ensure that copyrights are respected and that material used is in the public domain. Where copyrighted material is used it is under the terms of "fair use" for educational purposes. All copyrights remain the property of their respective owners.

Комментарии • 104

  • @palesgensler3099
    @palesgensler3099 2 года назад +53

    Even in special ed there is still a lot of gaslighting done by the teachers. This is because many of them have Savior complexes.

    • @robertdesertrider2694
      @robertdesertrider2694 8 месяцев назад +4

      I’ve been fighting off an official Asperger’s diagnosis since 8th grade, with the help of my father, because the special Ed teacher was the neighbor of my Dad’s business associates(Ran the Shop next door to my Dad’s business). Horace(His Name): “U remember that lady who was beating her kids in the street when you slept over? She the Spec Ed instructor.”
      I was the one of 7 White Kids at my school, Westbank NOLA(Algiers), I was not about to be “The Special White Kid…”

    • @paulrudd1063
      @paulrudd1063 6 месяцев назад +1

      Wow. I believe you, but it's hard to read.

    • @arc4705
      @arc4705 Месяц назад +1

      Godddd I'm a teacher and whenever another teacher has a kid with an IEP for autism, the teacher will act like
      1. she's a genius 5000 IQ who knows everything there is to know about autism
      2. she saved the universe by daring to advocate for her autistic student
      3. she is definitely not being weird for talking about the autistic student as if he is not right there.
      It's soooo infuriating and I always just walk away from them LOL otherwise I'll say something blunt and they'll get upset 😅 One of these days I'm just gonna start telling them I'm autistic and don't wanna hear their martyr story

  • @tomleyman8441
    @tomleyman8441 Год назад +31

    A lifetime of this from loved ones embeds fear and shame that creates autonomous obedience. It's difficult to understand and challenging to deprogram

  • @digitv6369
    @digitv6369 3 года назад +99

    Thank you! You made me realize I was gaslighted throughout school to beleive I was a failure, a bad learner, and it took decades and some diplomas and degrees to unbelieve it. Now I am gaslighted at work by colleagues and bosses because I try to protect the autistic students from their abuse, and occasionally even succeeded to make me believe I was the problem.

    • @melelconquistador
      @melelconquistador Год назад +8

      Are you K-12 teacher?
      I'm interested in becoming one in order to represent autistic interests and advocacy in education.

    • @AutisticAwakeActivist
      @AutisticAwakeActivist Год назад +12

      25 years of my life thinking I was thick . Then realising I was autodidactic when I joined the TA and trained as a combat medic. By then the damage of bullying abuse and gaslighting and infantilising. Had destroyed my life potential.

    • @Maaracha
      @Maaracha 9 месяцев назад +3

      I went through the same thing growing up

    • @paulrudd1063
      @paulrudd1063 6 месяцев назад +2

      This is exactly what happened to me. I taught for twenty-five years and in that time was systematically bullied and ostracized for standing up for the ND kids I was teaching. Anyone who works in the education industry knows that in reality, most teachers do not believe in autism, or at least, think that it is very rare and a form of ID. And as for ADHD, they think that it is caused by helicopter parenting. And school management teams are nearly always populated by people with very narcissistic personality types. And we all know what narcissists think of autistic people: the perfect vehicle for supply.

    • @lindaclairesartori
      @lindaclairesartori 3 месяца назад +1

      "...or constantly talked over..."

  • @paulfincher506
    @paulfincher506 2 года назад +64

    Isnt this just normal Neurotypical behaviour? I always seem to get into trouble for seeing the truth and taking facts over opinions.

    • @Mondomeyer
      @Mondomeyer Год назад +17

      We're talking about the inventors of spirituality after all.

  • @kathleenmaryparker8662
    @kathleenmaryparker8662 3 года назад +34

    This is like almost every conversation I ever have with anybody - and the trouble is - I never accept what "the man from the council" is saying - in fact, I do the "boy in the "Emperor's New Clothes"" about everything - with the result that I get the label "the boy who cried wolf" - and nearly get myself killed a lot ...

    • @Autistamatic
      @Autistamatic  3 года назад +12

      I won't be the only one who reads this comment and nods furiously!

    • @harryr.burger828
      @harryr.burger828 Год назад

      "...Or, How I Learned the Current American Electoral System Can't Change Government Enough to Stop a Climate Apocalypse"
      (assuming COVID & Bird Flu don't make humans extinct first)
      It's because the oligarchs who REALLY rule the world also control the media, so they gaslight everyone into believing Only 2 Parties is inevitable, outside challengers either don't exist or are beneath your consideration because they don't have lots of money supporting them. Yet the reason we don't have money, is because advertising in the first place so strangers learn that we exist & can be given campaign 💰 is ridiculously expensive & the news is in on the fix to make sure the Big 2 Parties drown us out so thoroughly, on the rare occasion they can't actually ignore our existence completely.
      (Yes, that's a Dr. Strangelove allusion at the beginning)

    • @TheMookie1590
      @TheMookie1590 3 месяца назад +2

      @@Autistamatic exaggerates the nod further, sick heavy metal guitar solo plays.

  • @Peacesoulution
    @Peacesoulution 9 месяцев назад +11

    This is exactly what is running rampant in society today! I never thought I was autistic but I certainly relate to what you are saying and am an ally. thank you

  • @katzikat4669
    @katzikat4669 11 месяцев назад +14

    For reference for my comment, Daria, from the show, Daria is probably autistic. And so is her aunt Amy.
    In one episode, Daria asked her aunt: "I kinda don't feel like I belong to this world. Like I'm weird or something. Is that a phase or is it gonna last forever?"
    Aunt Amy responded with: "it's a phase. One I'm trying to grow out of."
    I never related so much to a TV show.

    • @natatattful
      @natatattful 4 месяца назад

      She is an Infj or intj too I think, also same, I really related to her so much. I even wrote a song called Daria.

  • @alanguest1979
    @alanguest1979 2 года назад +32

    Been a victim of this on too many occasions.

    • @Naturegirl1976
      @Naturegirl1976 Год назад +3

      I've always been made to feel like I wasn't Good enough to be friends with. I still suffer from low self esteem. I'm getting tired of always having to mask my natural behaviors in order to be liked.i also hate living in a society that doesn't seem to care about the austic community

    • @mathiasvyaene7724
      @mathiasvyaene7724 2 месяца назад +1

      Me too constantly work education everywhere only when am alone u can develop everyone is yo superficial

  • @gregjs9665
    @gregjs9665 3 года назад +38

    I’m just starting to learn, in mid-life, about what it means to be on the autism spectrum. This video is very helpful and it explains a lot. Thanks!

  • @mrmukura
    @mrmukura 3 года назад +18

    I'm going to have to watch again. I spent half the video alternating between fuming about having to show working then pondering how my maths might have developed without it. Flippant and lazy were terms occasionaly used by my teachers at primary school. By the end of high school I'd kind of figure out the game. The girl who achieved DUX used to be my partner in computer class, she really wasn't that giftedly smart, a hard worker and bright, she ticked all the boxes. I often wonder if these people grow up to be happy though, or if they just eat sleep repeat and raise the next generation of robots.

  • @SingingSnakes
    @SingingSnakes 3 года назад +41

    Thank you so much for talking about this and calling some of the "experts" out on their bullsh*t. People need to hear about this

  • @princessaria
    @princessaria 3 года назад +20

    Not autistic but am neurodivergent, thank you for the insightful videos on such important topics.

  • @hispoiema
    @hispoiema Год назад +12

    I've been gaslighted by a couple family members who seem to be "asperger's" per Mark A Hutton. I believe I am autistic. I never fought back because it resulted in me being lectured and ridiculed. I don't think these people are narcissistic IF narcissists like to see people suffer. I don't think they did and yet I have had to remove both from my life due to intense stress that causes physical pain and shaking and high anxiety and anxiety attacks etc. Those are gone now as a result of being away from them.

    • @katzikat4669
      @katzikat4669 11 месяцев назад +6

      Narcissists LOVE to see their narcissistic supply suffer. Trust me. I survived a narcissistic stepdad.

    • @kayhansen9229
      @kayhansen9229 5 месяцев назад

      My sister was a narcissist. She loved to see me and my brother suffer as children. As young as three her eyes used to glaze over in smile at us getting our beatings period for something she did usually

  • @jusroc6353
    @jusroc6353 3 года назад +18

    Interesting subject. Gaslighting. A phenomena that I am well aware of due to being subjected to so many people using it against me. In fact, I am likely one of the most gas lighted people in the world. This may sound like an incredible and unlikely claim, but it is true. That is the reward for saving a famous MP's career....
    Repaid by sadism. Always the way of the British aristocratic ruling class. Twisted Justice of Monarchy Rule. So my sympathies go out to all who are victims of such people...

    • @Mondomeyer
      @Mondomeyer Год назад +1

      Aspies/autistics in general are the most gaslighted people in the world.

  • @ladyvoreva2754
    @ladyvoreva2754 3 года назад +19

    Thank you, Quinn, for every subject that you excellently bring "on the light"- without the "gas"- each week.
    You explain everything in such a clear way that is always a pleasure to watch your videos. Kind regards from Argentina.

  • @mdj864
    @mdj864 3 года назад +18

    i am a friend and ally of those who are gaslighted, (including my sons).
    i too, experience it on occasion--from all types of people.
    it almost seems as though we are witnessing an epidemic of trolls 👹🤧

  • @JamieHumeCreative
    @JamieHumeCreative 10 месяцев назад +6

    Thank you. Generous présentation, yet I can still feel that doubt nudge. Auto pilote. I encounter gas lighting and bullying in my adult life quite frequently. It's extremely hard on me. It's good to know I'm notaline and that there are people like yourself who cut right through this in such a susync and well articulated way.
    Grateful for your presentations. Always the outsider...walking alone, slowly finding I'm not.

  • @lugaruna
    @lugaruna 3 года назад +12

    They funny thing is that i did get tested a littlle bit to see if i have autism when my adhd got diagnosed but unfortunatly nothing came out of that. Every time i told them i relate alot to othere autistic females it didn't feel like they took it sirious enough. Atm im waiting to be let into a place that can properly evaluate it but im starting to get the feeling it's a slim chance. I feel that the chance of me ever getting a kid who get's diagnosed and then me getting diagnosed aswell will be faster then what im in right now. Even though i get sensory overloads form my nephews and nieces.

    • @Autistamatic
      @Autistamatic  3 года назад +5

      Women and girls often have difficulty in getting a DX thanks to some very strange ideas about "female autism". There's more about it in this: ruclips.net/video/IzGCUdIi3s4/видео.html

    • @lugaruna
      @lugaruna 3 года назад +4

      Yea you can say that again, the adhd diagnosis was also a late one seeing as im 28 and got the diagnosis last september.
      Thanks for the video link:). I already watched it but im gonna watch it again because i always forget little things so i can always learn new things again:).
      My fiance who is autistic also gave me the title of borderline autist XD, i realy like it because we both agree i have autistic traits but have not been diagnosed yet:p.

  • @tomduncan2018
    @tomduncan2018 3 года назад +26

    As always, brilliant video. The hero we deserve. Keep it up :)

  • @AnnaBananaRepublic
    @AnnaBananaRepublic 8 месяцев назад +4

    I love how this video points out the absurdity of the people who called their neighbors “science deniers” for wanting to do research since 2020.

    • @blacky_Ninja
      @blacky_Ninja 4 месяца назад

      It‘s not about the neighbours wanting to do research, it‘s usually that to them ‚doing research‘ means looking on facebook, heavily biased anti-scientific sites, or simply them looking for a source that ‚proves their point‘ and then stopping.
      There is f.e. no reasonable way to do proper scientific research and end up with the impression that vaccines are bad, that climate change and evolution don‘t take place, or that the earth is flat.
      The people who scream „do your research“ and still end up believing these kind of lies are the ones who are called ‚science deniers‘.
      And rightfully so.

  • @Crath99
    @Crath99 3 года назад +12

    Props to you sir for that example in the beginning. Even knowing it was an example of gaslighting I started to rationalize the explanation given by the "suit man" by the end of it.

  • @josephmartin1540
    @josephmartin1540 Год назад +6

    Totally beautiful explanation! It is still difficult to quite understand some of the other autistic voices I follow and respect when they speak on this. My working theory on understanding gaslighting is that it is a “theory of mind” problem. ? Trying to decipher some professional relationships where this feels like it is still happening.

  • @JessieThorne886
    @JessieThorne886 Месяц назад

    This was, unfortunately, scarily relatable. In school, I often didn't respond to the teacher's questions right away, because I was too caught up in my own thoughts. First, they thought I needed a hearingaid, but when the doctors found nothing wrong with my ears, they concluded I was being willfully oppositional. I also couldn't help doing stims like rocking in my chair, clearing my throat, and singing jingles from commercials I had seen on television. All this was seen as obstructing class. When I knew more than the teacher about biology, it was seen as challenging him on purpose. When I was bored in math because it was too easy, the teacher concluded I lacked skill (at the same time I was writing my own computer code in my free time, etc). This, combined with my tendency to really get angered when I felt treated unfairly, all left me with a deep-seated distrust in authority figures, and at the same time a great fear of challenging them.

  • @paulrudd1063
    @paulrudd1063 8 месяцев назад +2

    Absolutely brilliant. The only thing is, where is this online community? I’m autistic and completely socially isolated. 😢

    • @abbagirl8819
      @abbagirl8819 6 месяцев назад +2

      Alot of people are alone. I notice that people watch videos but they hardly connect. I am curious as to the reason, since ND are well aware.We can create forums and conventions,clothing lines and new laws that support and protect the nuerodiverse.

  • @BXLrules
    @BXLrules 2 месяца назад +1

    What a great video. I've gone through that since I started school, Im 41 next week.

  • @ForgetfulHatter
    @ForgetfulHatter 4 месяца назад

    😢 recently late adult diagnosed with autism, was told to build a bridge and get over it. Was reminded of my age the told I passed a digital marketing course to get a degree in computers.
    And told on a bunch of cases that I"must" and "probably" am on the lowest lowest end. From people that know nothing about autism.
    I passed that course through my own self taught computer skills and regurgitation of information I've already forgotten.
    I've been learning alot recently thank you for your insightful views.

    • @Autistamatic
      @Autistamatic  4 месяца назад

      The thing about bridges, is that they're most effective when you don't have to build them on your own. It takes at least 2 to both build AND maintain a bridge. I'm sorry you were let down like that.

  • @annaviolette255
    @annaviolette255 3 года назад +10

    Thank you so much for this video and for addressing this issue. ❤️️

  • @Groundwater24
    @Groundwater24 26 дней назад +1

    Thanks for this informative vid’. A brucey bonus of unintentional ASMR on my AuDHD brain, too.

  • @dhaliaseed
    @dhaliaseed 3 года назад +5

    Thank you very much great video

  • @hailsateen9219
    @hailsateen9219 3 года назад +6

    Fantastic video!

  • @mrsm6727
    @mrsm6727 3 года назад +5

    Great video, thank you 😊

  • @kathleenmaryparker8662
    @kathleenmaryparker8662 3 года назад +5

    Wow ! My whole childhood !

  • @samuelmason8370
    @samuelmason8370 3 года назад +3

    Im subbing- just saw you and immediately subbed. Cannot wait to watch your videos- after the stream :)

  • @dianagibson4051
    @dianagibson4051 3 года назад +2

    Another stellar video, thank you so much. Happy end of AA month. Whew.

  • @videocliplover
    @videocliplover Год назад +1

    Thank you for making this. All your videos help me feel more resilient when facing the world.

  • @johnpaulwirchnianski
    @johnpaulwirchnianski 7 месяцев назад

    Wow!!! Good stuff. Great Job.

  • @user-hh1mq3ph2w
    @user-hh1mq3ph2w 11 месяцев назад +2

    This is an awesome vid

  • @maryanndaron6920
    @maryanndaron6920 2 года назад +2

    Thanks for your work

  • @kukalakana
    @kukalakana 7 месяцев назад +1

    Right at the moment the very thought of "flowers and freshly mown grass" makes my T-cells jump to attention...

  • @towzone
    @towzone Год назад

    Thanks again for the excellent video!

  • @JackOnSkates
    @JackOnSkates 3 года назад +4

    Thank you.

  • @AeonZhang
    @AeonZhang 3 года назад +3

    ✨Thank You✨
    💫✨🌟🖤🖤🖤🌟✨💫

  • @AutisticAwakeActivist
    @AutisticAwakeActivist Год назад

    Totally agree on everything you are saying. It’s like talking to myself

  • @rolflaprete1849
    @rolflaprete1849 Год назад +1

    Thankyou Quinn......🌄🐑💕

  • @stuartchapman5171
    @stuartchapman5171 9 месяцев назад

    I have the adhd diagnosis. Awaiting asd, I relate to all of this. School, work and even my psychiatrist. The diagnosis letter broke me, all the nefatives exagerated and embelished, non of my positives mentioned. Its been 10months and Im still devastated. Shame is huge for divergents. We dont need more.

    • @kayhansen9229
      @kayhansen9229 5 месяцев назад

      I'm sorry to hear that not a very good psychologist I would say good ones always put a positive spin on diagnosis of anything and stress all of your goods that's what I think. I'm so old none of this was diagnosed when I was in school but I really worried that there's too many psychologists jumping on the bandwagon that is school psychologists. I noticed a lot of Brits diagnosed with autism and talking about autism it must not be diagnosed as much over here in America because I don't hear it being talked about that much. I wonder what that is about. I hear you about the exaggeration and embellishments my uncle did this to me once.he was the psychologist didn't want to admit /agnolage the horrible abuse my mother was doing. But I digress.

  • @kstar6508
    @kstar6508 2 года назад +2

    Perfect

  • @turtleanton6539
    @turtleanton6539 Год назад

    Great video

  • @AutisticAwakeActivist
    @AutisticAwakeActivist Год назад

    The military was excellent education for me because the style suited me. I was top and second top on my courses

  • @strawsofftheneurodivergent4221
    @strawsofftheneurodivergent4221 3 года назад +2

    Perfect example.

  • @russellparkerart
    @russellparkerart 9 месяцев назад +1

    @9:11 REVOLUTION!!!

  • @autiejedi5857
    @autiejedi5857 3 года назад +4

    👍💜

  • @layloolapierre5330
    @layloolapierre5330 3 года назад +1

    ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • @lindaclairesartori
    @lindaclairesartori 3 месяца назад

    constantly spoken over

  • @AutisticAwakeActivist
    @AutisticAwakeActivist Год назад

    Give me a list please

  • @JayLeePoe
    @JayLeePoe 9 месяцев назад

    how do these things relate to individual narcissism, or at people with autism immune to narcissism?

  • @notdream8714
    @notdream8714 Год назад

    I'm expecting to lose loads of support on my LinkedIn after reposting this 😂😂😂

  • @AutisticAwakeActivist
    @AutisticAwakeActivist Год назад

    Yup yup yup ❤❤.

  • @Etobicoke67
    @Etobicoke67 Год назад +1

    Sounds like most of the dominant or most vociferous governments around the world, especially USA, Canada, PA, UK, China, Russia and Germany.

    • @AutisticAwakeActivist
      @AutisticAwakeActivist Год назад

      Uk too. It’s become fascist nazi ableist and our democracy is now fake

  • @emmanuelbeaucage4461
    @emmanuelbeaucage4461 Год назад

    Not even close to the top 20 of what my gf said in the last 2 mounts... 😢

  • @robertdesertrider2694
    @robertdesertrider2694 8 месяцев назад

    21Kiloton

  • @AutisticAwakeActivist
    @AutisticAwakeActivist Год назад

    Your basically saying what I’m saying though 😏😏😏

  • @AutisticAwakeActivist
    @AutisticAwakeActivist Год назад

    I have no community they are leaving me to rot

  • @AutisticAwakeActivist
    @AutisticAwakeActivist Год назад

    Gate keepers 🤣🤣

  • @JenSumma
    @JenSumma 5 месяцев назад

    There are teachers who are neurodiverse

  • @stephencolligan
    @stephencolligan 9 месяцев назад

    As an NT watching this,to me,at least ,there seems to be a thin line between AS people being gaslit,and ,from my experience,their need themselves ,to have to be “right” about everything due to an inability to see anyone else’s point of view .It’s slightly different but the outcome similar

  • @atlas_rhea
    @atlas_rhea 8 месяцев назад

    Your animated logo is immensely distracting brother 🖖

  • @greatmeatball2978
    @greatmeatball2978 3 месяца назад

    The thing you're talking about is indeed huge and profound. The video was even triggering for some parts of me, so I had to pause many times.
    But I really don't like that you make this about autism, or disability in general.
    I believe, the thing you called gaslighting in here - is a part of a much more profound and all-permiating phenomenon of our civilization. And it affects EVERY SINGLE person, not just neurodivergent or otherwise.
    Our cultures seem to reproduce themselves by instilling into its children the belief that there's something wrong with themselves, their feelings and their thoughts. This thing is way-way more profound than it might seem, and at times it feels almost like the root of all evil. A huge reason why war and oppression exist in this world.
    So it's not about us autistic people being oppressed by the "neurotypical" (I reallly don't like this label) people, we are actually IN THE SAME BOAT. AND WE ARE ALL COMPLICIT TOO!
    We have nothing to fight over, this division is imaginary. And there's nothing wrong with any of us.
    The fact that we've perhaps lived through some stronger forms of "gaslighting" and other types of mental torture - makes us "chosen" in a sense. Some of us have been truly blessed by the ability to see how deeply sick and unacceptable our world really is.
    We are blessed with seeing through the planetary-scale lies and fake values of our civilization.
    But "neurotypical" people are NOT to blame here.
    And I doubt we can even call it "gaslighting" technically, since there's usually no intention of making you doubt your own mind, it's all being done without awareness...