Explaining Why I Dropped My Sorority | Exposing Toxic Greek Life Culture
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- Опубликовано: 8 фев 2025
- This is the story of why I decided to drop from my sorority last year. I go into detail about what happened and expose a the dark side of greek life that they don't want you to know about. I feel that you should have access to both sides of a situation before deciding to get involved. there is so much content out there about the positive side of greek life, I felt it was only right to show that it does not always go that way.
if you are dealing with a similar situation to mine feel free to reach out to me I would be happy to help you or to just be a listener.
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As a former RA I would recommend not to room with friends from Childhood, I have seen so many friendships blow up and rooming situations become unstable. Good luck all!!!
I know a couple girls who were roommates with friends from childhood or high school and after the first year was over, they didn’t room together their sophomore years or at any time after.
Thanks for letting me know. Luckily my childhood friends are back in my hometown (Philadelphia PA) and I'm in Columbia SC. I hoping to get into UofSC as a transfer student
Facts! It almost ruined my childhood friendship! It made me realize that I couldn’t live with any female. I was so happy I moved back home to enter into my career program. I could tell you some stories!
@Hayden Karlheim It’s funny 😆 you were a RA, I was placed with one and moved out so quick! First day. Ha!
Yes! It’s easier to be cordial & a respectful roommate to a stranger than a friend. I feel like it’s easier to not take things personally if your roomie accidentally upsets you, annoys you, etc.
my best friend dropped at rush because she was put off by the fact that she was being asked what her parents salaries were.
Yo that is REALLY invasive lol
Yo WHAT
@@gebbygebbers i agree. because the head people there are representing something, then they need to be better role models than asking questions like that.
At bigger schools they look you up beforehand and actually know already.
they want donations and funding
To any girls watching this currently... sororities are NOT the end-all-be-all of university life. If you find a sorority that you love - thats great! but I encourage you ladies to join clubs and associations that matter to YOU. THAT is where youre going to find life-long friends!
True! I was on the fence about rushing, but never did. I still made friends in college and had a great time!
I agree! I was in a sorority but none of the people I ultimately became closest friends with were in my sorority. I ended up making a lot of friends in class throughout the 4 years-especially the smaller labs, foreign language, higher level classes, etc. During my senior year, I lived in a house with a few girls in my sorority and a few girls they knew from class, plus a random girl they found online looking for a roommate, and I became really close with each of them. I was barely active in my sorority by that point
@@NatalieMarie917That’s good you became friends with people outside of your sorority house.
Sororities are poison.
I agree! I never joined a sorority and I still had a good time in college. I highly recommend university clubs and intramural sports teams as a way to meet new people with similar interests!
I'm not quite sure why this got recommended to me, but i just wanted to let you know you are NOT alone. Pretty much the same exact thing happened to me my Freshman year to the point where I dropped out of my first school. Like seriously-anxiety caused by the sorority, toxic roommate, eating in my room, everything! It took me a while to heal from it, but I am so happy now and am grateful the direction life took WITHOUT a toxic sorority. I really commend you for posting this story!
Same with me from Fraternity. Beyond toxic environment.
I’ve only been in mine for a few months an I’m ready to dip it’s toxic a lot of drama and favoritism
wow, hope you are better. no sorority. no roommates. just live alone and have a car. hope youre safe now.
Glad you are better. Life is lessons which are harder each time. Character is built from how you handle situations. Victims cry. Everybody have something. Deal and move forward.
Not a girl but this happened in the Fraternity I was in. Beyond toxic environment. So glad I was given the clarity to understand what a bad environment it was and to escape it. You are not alone and you determine your own happiness. You never need to rely on anyone else for you to be happy. It comes from within.
Sounds similar to my situation, mine was just more hazing. My parents actually stepped in on my situation because the frat I wanted to join was trying to haze me on a level that could've seriously injured me. My mother literally blew up and went on mommy level 2000. So I understand on such a deep compassionate level with you.
It is very true what alot of others say.. Greek life isn't the only experience in college. If the situation is toxic and the people are twice as toxic then removing yourself shouldn't make anyone feel defeated. Removing ones self from a toxic situation is about mental health and survival. My mother always said don't feel defeated if you "give up" or remove yourself. Feel proud that you realized that the situation you're in is not the one you want to be apart of.
I applaud you for this! Your mom is right! What’s more important, being popular or keeping you health/sanity? I am 42 and I wish I could’ve learned this in my teens and 20’s. Popularity is NOT as important and your sanity. Take care man and I’m happy for you! 🤙🏼
Mommy level 2000🤣🤣🤣 You're lucky to have a mama like that!
I’m from the UK and honestly, these groups sound so insanely strange to me… I really can’t imagine anything like this happening over here, it comes across very cult like. But thank you for the video! I find it fascinating to learn about nonetheless
Oh, its definitely a cult
remember that America's origins (not including the Native Indians) were the cult like religious Puritans who were pretty much forced to leave the UK for their extreme cult like behavior. This behavior has span off in other facets of American life (fraternities, sororities, religious nuts, gun nuts, workaholics, drug addicts, etc). It is literally in our history to be exclusive and cult like.
They are cults. They take oaths and sign contracts.
@@emilyroberts5388 uhhh yeah…it’s called rape. Or anal in the name of financial security😂
they come from England, it's rooted in the Freemasons in the UK
I honestly can't wrap my head around the reason that greek life still exists. Especially with all the massive scandals and literal CRIME that has happened involving them. That being said. You go to college to learn. what the heck is the point of all this extra bs. get your dorm, go to class, study and just relax when you have time. You'll be much happier I'm sure.
My sorority had not one but two scholarship chairs. Study hours were also required depending on how well you were doing academically. I did much better academically in college because I belonged to a sorority.
Yeah no, it's a cult there is no denying it because of "study hours" or whatever. It's classiest and racist and Ive seen what its done to people, along with extra bs fines and not being able to look a certain way, it is a CULT.@@AudraGibson
@@AudraGibsonif you need to be told to study, how do you manage yourself out of college as an adult? Do you still have a babysitter? How do you survive?
its egregious, it feels like every semester theres another SA at a frat party.... and basically nothing ever happens
@@AudraGibsonyou are def the anomaly. Most Greeks do worse academically because they're planning events, going to them, or have so many other obligations asked of them. Friends actually started doing better AFTER dropping out of greek life.
I can’t imagine wanting to put yourself through this after high school. You spend a ridiculous amount of money, you get heavily judged, lots of unnecessary stress from drama when college is stressful enough.
I hate sororities! I don’t regret not joining one
Yeah like I was bullied by the rich preppy types in middle and high school, why would I put myself through that at university WILLINGLY?
I’m actually very glad you are talking out on the negative things of greek life. Alot of people tend to not talk about the behind the scene stuff that happens. If you are someone who is interested in going greek especially someone who wants a guys point of view feel free to read on. I thought I was the only one who was going through a bad experience and hearing that you went through stuff makes me feel like I’m not alone.
I recently quit a fraternity due to the toxic environment. At first I thought it was a wonderful idea and opportunity for me to get involved. It started out ok and I got a recruitment chair position. Eventually I started realizing how controlling it was of its members. Since you are a member of the org you simply represent it. Its as if you are a celebrity and you have no privacy whatsoever. Anything thats somehow said about you on campus the org will hear about it which can be bad because it can just be rumors or lies. You honestly kinda lowkey are told to not be who you are and act accordingly to what satisfys the org. I agree with Megan. Its very clicky and if you aren’t with the main people of the org they wont care about you. If you question them they will find someway to make your life hell.
In the org there are positions people can run for like any other club. It gets very competitive and people will do anything to get into power. I never realized how serious people could get about being greek. People see it as their entire life and will do anything about their image in it. Each org has their own “Bylaws” and its crazy how a student ran org can have so much power over your foundation on campus.
I felt like I had no control in my life when people were out to get me. I was an Asian male in a primarily white fraternity and white college during asian hate times. When I began to be successful and break recruitment records/social media publicity thats when people started to be envious and find ways to knock me down. Sororities began to dislike me as well because of bad rumors being spread about me. Eventually I was told by my org that they were going to strip me of my position due to these rumors they/other people started. It was all rigged and it turned out I was a pawn who was used for my recruiting skills. I honestly feel bad about all the young men I recruited into this toxic org/environment and I pray for them. What was my supposed “family” and org I pitched for became my greatest enemy. Everyone who said they had my back and were my brothers ditched me when it came down to it. Greek life ruined my rep on campus due to peoples jealousy. It messed with my mental state and I had to transfer colleges. Best decision of my life.
My advice is to be cautious when selecting an org. If I could take it back and join a multicultural fraternity I would’ve. Remember that no org has any power over you no matter what. You are your own person and an org does not define you. Remember at the end of the day you are a student and the real goal is tryna get this degree.
What does going greek mean?
She was are targeted individual!! Remember they clique fast and casted her out for no reason!! And gave her verbal abuse!! And put her through isolation!! That sounds like a Geeklife cult is narcissistic culture!!
Those girls should’ve been expelled from the school!
Maybe you tried too hard to be accepted by whitey. Anyone who's spent time around WASP elites knows their refined racism is concealed under a veneer of civility.
Asian females are notorious for marrying gay white men.
All that matters to these dragon ladies is bagging a bottom shelf Brad. 🤷🏼
@@heleneboisvert-gravelle8081 sadly in our society they won’t. I was a minority in a white town/white campus. A male. And I was a fraternity which gave me the “frat boy” assumption. Due to all three I already lost if a girl cries rape or simply makes lies about anything. Its the sad truth.
You literally just described my middle school and high school situation of what I went through with friends and the effects I experienced trying to be in these friend groups when they literally didn’t give two shits about me, avoided me, gave excuses why they couldn’t hang out with me and it really did took a toll on my confidence my mental health and it broke my heart how lonely it was and how these friends just betray and talk shit about me behind my back. Thank you for taking the words out of my mouth and saying it in this video!❤
Sorry you had to endure all that. I truly hope you’re healing from that trauma, and things are better for you now. 😍
Thank you, it is!🥺
@@123meenasalih
I’m very happy to hear that! 😍
@@lim4275 thanks girl!😘👍
same
Girls like the ones you talked about in your sorority are still in that immature high school mode. It's good that you chose to leave that stuff behind, and become a part of the real adult world. Nobody needs that kind of extra stress and negativity in their life. You came out being the better person!
I was in a sorority in college and was actually our Risk Management officer one year. I’m sorry this was your experience. The officers and leadership of your sorority should have been trained or equipped to handle conflict situations, and I’m sorry it sounds like they weren’t. I hate that you signed up looking for sisterhood and instead found anxiety. As a Risk Management officer my priority was the safety and well-being of our members, and that includes mental wellness. I am encouraged you recognized the eventual path that was right for you and found healthy friendships.
As a 41 year old man. I’m far removed from your experience. But as a father of 4 daughters situations like yours give me anxiety. Either that they will be the victim of such bullying. Or worse that they might be the perpetrators or complicit. Thank you for sharing your story and I’m sorry you had that experience.
Daddy needs to teach them to punch bullies in the face and not follow the herd
So glad you are sharing this! I only see positive experiences even though it all seems sus
I'm really sorry all that happened, especially your roommate
Thank you so much! I felt the exact same way and that’s why I felt like it was important to share my story
I dropped my sorority too! I was just like you and couldn't let go of this "experience" I so desperately craved at my own expense (literally and metaphorically). It was greek but not panhellenic. We were the only community service focused org on campus, or at least that's what we advertised, but it became clear real quick that it was no more than a stupid requirement to fulfill in the eyes of most of the girls and social events and "image" were what was prioritized instead of actually helping people and supporting eachother! And the "sisterhood" was sooooo fake and forcefully manufactured!!! You are so right about the clickyness! I was an outcast with only like 3 friends in it whereas everyone else felt more like a antagonistic coworker that I had to pretend to be blood bonded with! I'm a totally chill, understanding, and welcoming person so I get very frustrated by strictly enforced rules that serve no practical purpose other than to exist and exclude. We had alot of those. I dropped out of the selection committee because I couldn't stand to hear the shit these girls were saying about PNMs! The arbitrary bureaucracy was annoying too! Yeah i just couldn't handle the two-faced attitude where one minute it's "OMG! Sisters for life! I've got you babe! Kissy face! You are an amazing woman and i'd literally do anything for you! I love you, Sis!" and literally the next it's "Umm yeah..so according to our bylaws, that professional dress you are required to wear even though we are not a business centered org and this meeting is taking place somewhere no one else can see us at 9 o'clock at night, is an inch too short so I, as a cabinet member and therefore your elder, even though I was in your same rush class and am 6 years younger than you am using the extent of my authority to issue you a notice of negative points that you need to sign by next meeting or you'll get even more!" Like please! Get out of here with that crap! I honestly wanted to start an org of my own! One that was ACTUALLY service oriented and accepting of all types of people! Come as you are! If you bonded great! but if you didn't bond, ok but at least you were all there working toward a common goal! None of the culty vibes! It's been 6 years and i'm still a little scarred.
I remember overhearing a girl throw a petulant tantrum because her big didn’t get her the gifts she wanted. Some of these girls are entitled little divas.
Thank you for the upload, I know nothing about sororities but the recent Alabama rush videos on TikTok have been fascinating. I grew up Mormon so I can relate to the “secret rituals” and group-control social behavior type stuff.
Could you elaborate on the rituals/social behavior things in Mormonism? Just curious.
@@zoet229 Sure, in Mormonism there are a variety of social behavioral control mechanisms built into the religion. If you search "For the Strength of Youth" you will find that document which is basically a guidebook for adolescents on how to live their life in a God-honoring way. Its very strict and there is a lot of judgment from many angles towards members who are seen participating in behavior "unbecoming" of members of the Lord's "one and only true Church."
The Mormon Temple cannot be entered until you go through two separate interviews with Church Leaders who grill you on very specific questions (including whether or not you regularly wear the secret Mormon underwear known as "the garment of the Holy Priesthood." You have to wear the underwear, pay 10% of your gross income every paycheck, declare yourself in 100% lock step with the leaders of the Church and testify that you do not affiliate with groups antagonistic to the Church (including fraternizing with people sympathetic to LGTBQ+ rights, for example. The LDS Church put millions of dollars and hours into Prop-8 in California). The Mormon Temple consists of rituals said to replicate similar rituals performed by the ancient Israelites in the Old Testament Tabernacle. These include making solemn oaths (called "covenants") that require you to promise to give all of your time, talent, energy, and material resources to the building of God's Kingdom. Mormons see themselves as trying to prepare for the second coming of Jesus. The Mormon Temple rituals make you swear that you will not divulge any of the info otherwise you will jeopardize your eternal salvation (even what I've said in this comment would put my soul at great risk). I am an ex-mormon and have been through each of the Temple rituals dozens of times. Its not infrequent that when a temple-goer shares the secrets of the temple, an active mormon will comment "THAT ISN"T TRUE THEY ARE LYING!!!" no, we're not lying, mormons are just embarrassed that they can't keep their secrets to themselves, very similar to the recent trend of sorority members sharing the inside "tea" about their experience. Hope this helps!
For more info on why Mormonism can be considered a cult, check out the video on the religion by Telltale/Jimmy Snow. As I watched all these TikToks and videos of Sorority Rush I couldn't help but draw parallels!
The Pondering Plumb Thanks so much for all of the great info! Glad you got out. Mormonism reminds me of freemasonry with the rituals and secrecy.
@@zoet229 absolutely, it is well known that the founder of Mormonism, Joseph Smith, directly plagiarized many Masonic symbols and rituals as part of his Mormon temple rituals, there is a great deal of overlap!
@@theponderingplumb9790 Sorry to hear that you've abandoned your faith. Some of the happiest, most well adjusted and kindest people I know are Mormons. I'm guessing that now you worship at the altar of globalism, consumerism and hedonism. Sad!
I really appreciate this. I had a similar experience. It was at a smaller school 20 years ago. It wasn’t really the sorority that was the problem but how rushing changes friendships, but the talk about friendships changing and cliques making it hard to make friends was spot on. Friendships change if you rush different houses; anyone who says otherwise in my opinion is lying. Also if you are alone among cliques of friends who are initiated in the same house, it’s really hard to make friends and you feel like you don’t fit in. The image of the organization is the most important thing, not individual members. There’s almost a group think phenomenon happening and you don’t realize it until you are out of it. It’s very interesting that nothing changes in 20 years. Talking with young people is part of my job so I often discuss these things with kids going to college. Thanks for your honesty.
thank you so much for sharing your story, i just finished my freshman year with SUCH a similar experience with my roommates. It destroyed me mentally and i feel like I wasted my entire year pleasing them instead of being outgoing and trying to meet a bunch of different people. it definitely taught me a life lesson. it is so nice to hear your story and know that i’m not alone. I hope college life is better for you now! you seem like such a great person and I totally see myself in you. I have so much respect for you and your bravery. Much love from Clemson 🧡
I went through recruitment twice because I ended up medically withdrawing from the school before I was initiated in the sorority. I think your point about how recruitment conversations are “forced” was really important. During that recruitment, I really enjoyed talking to the girls that were assigned to talk to me from that sorority and felt like it was the house for me. But then on Bid Day, I felt like I didn’t fit in at all. And I was like “How did that happen? I really enjoyed the girls I talked to and it felt genuine.” So sorry for your experience. You sound really mature for your age at the time.
I’m so sorry you had such a bad experience and such bad friends! This reminds me of high school drama that I guess these girls never graduated from. So glad you’re doing better ❤️
Sadly, high school mentality doesn't end in high school.
Always seemed like kids not wanting to give up high school. I belonged to a fraternity but by my junior year I realized it was pointless other then weekend parties.
@@marinaneary7502 I've actually seen high drama among retirees. And then the people involved complain, "This is just like high school!"
I had more high school drama in college than I ever did in high school
i'm so sorry this happened to you, i'm glad you're happier and at a much better place now.
This goes on in fraternities too. I had a similar experience at UMD College park in the mid nineties. Seduced by the social prospects and down to earth older members, key members of my pledge class quickly devolved into a nasty clique of poor academics, drugs, etc. Even my then girlfriend (sorority) turned on me. I got through it mostly by avoiding the bad apples, had the most fun possible, graduated and moved on. It was the best experience I would never want to repeat. Hang in there girl. You got your whole life in front of you!
Thank you so much!
@@Meganwilkerson why did your friend of 10 years choose a group of girls she just met over you?
@@ninjaked1265 that is the level of peer pressure that a childhood friend will dump you.
great video. i’m really sorry for what you were put through during that experience. it’s a wonderful thing you’re doing spreading awareness about how you were treated in that environment. you deserved support and genuine friendship
I’m a highschool sophomore boy so I have no idea why this was recommended to me. But I do agree with you, if I ever join a frat I would be very careful with what I choose and leave the second it started becoming a chore or pain to go to.
Don’t join one. It’s a cult
How I see it is sororities and fraternities are just very expensive, exclusive “friend” groups to join, it can get cult-ish. The amount of rules you have to follow like controlling what you post on social media, hazing tests like who you’re allowed to talk to, what you can do, etc etc. is not worth it. You can make friends for free lol and join school clubs, and I rather be true to myself than be restricted by these rules. Plus there’s so much toxicity that goes on, sexual harassment and assault is common among Greek life also. It’s a hard pass from me.
yes! True friends/sisters don't have tests, bylaws, and consequences.....and membership fees! I guess it is a poor concept right out the gate! You should never have to buy into a friendship/family! It automatically makes it disingenuous!
@@calliemyersbuchanan6458 exactly! Most of them I probably won’t even talk to ever again after you graduate. All that money for what? As if you don’t get charged $$$ for tuition..
I attempted to join a fraternity in college. Worst mistake of my life. I got dropped by them over a rumor about something I didn’t even do, but again it’s all about protecting the organization’s image. It’s all about image. Greek life is really just a way for the rich assholes from your high school to feel important again.
I’m really sorry this happened to you. It’s not worth it to be around people who treat you like that, ever!
this chapter should be reported to your unis Panhellenic council! i could never imagine the woman in my chapter condoning this type of behavior. sorry you had to go through that type of gl experience
Agree with you 100%.
I’ve never been in a sorority but if you want to quit, there are NO rules you have to follow. They will SAY there are but you can do whatever the eff you want to. Don’t let ANYONE tell you what you can and can’t do. The rules are arbitrary and an illusion in their head and yours…also a form of them trying to control you to the end.
Thanks for sharing your story.
Except sororities have the right in many colleges to bill your college bill for leaving for Bs reasons and if you don’t pay, you can’t register for classes.
Hi, Megan. Thanks for sharing it. You are so brave for opening up. Meantl health is so important. Your story is valid and it is so helpful for so many others. I appreciate you.
I had the exact same experience as you. Was completely left out and there was 0 reason for it, I'd like to believe that I'm a genuinely nice person. Was so hurtful... left the sorority and left them a letter outlining exactly why I left when I dropped.... thanks for posting this, it's nice to know I'm not the only one who had this experience because like you said, it can be super isolating. I cried so much and just wanted the typical experience! But I guess I can grow from what happened.
I’m glad I could help you! Thank you so much for the kind words :)
@@Meganwilkerson okay if I was in the sorority I would have been friends with you honestly lol!!
Sororities are evil and there to brain wash you into being a corporate state groupie for sexual control
It's so freeing to hear other people speak out about bullying and especially about childhood friends joining in that shit. It makes me feel less alone
thank you for sharing. im going to be a freshman a "party school" and know several ppl in sorotities/frats. this sounds so toxic. i hope you heal up soon bc this sounds horrible.
I have literally never related to another video better than yours. So proud of you for telling your story and exposing the true problematic ways of Greek life. I hope you're doing great now. I also dropped my sorority.
Thank you! I am doing really well, have found true friends and am enjoying college way more
I just ran across your video today! FIRST I want to say this was a POWERFUL message!! Thank you for putting this out! I wish you didn’t have to go through this experience, but it was a growth for you I am sure. I did the college life after military and joined a sorority (as an “older student”) but it was not a Greek - Gamma Sigma Sigma - and honestly it changed MY life - the ONE thing we don’t do is “judge” and we take all - no matter who they are - even me - (I was 37 when I went to college) - I saw the struggle of the girls going Greek and it BROKE my heart - we had a couple girls who were in GSS who also were Greek (an AZD and DZ) and they seriously smiled MORE in our pics than their “house” pics - Today I am the Great Great grand big of the struggling line for our chapter and still today I am there for my littles - AS your Big SHOULD have been for you! That’s what Bigs are for!! You are stronger than you think! Thank you again for posting this video - I wish you the best - and I’m truly sorry your experience with Greek life was so terrible - too bad there wasn’t a Gamma Sig chapter you could have joined - you would have fit right in (and the dues are a LOT cheaper LOL) LOVE and HUGS.
She got “mean girled.” Women treat each other like shit. I’m in nursing and I see it every single day. It’s too bad. She seems like a decent human being. Sorority girls have a reputation for being ruthless and catty. Megan, best of luck. You learned the hard lessons of friendship early.
She tried to fit in and ended bad
Nursing is notorious for that and it makes no sense to me. Nurses are pretty selfless, good people I don’t know why they would be so mean to each other. I’ve only ever had one nurse be out of line mean to me and I honestly deserved it (I can be a real bitch when I’m anxious and in pain and I didn’t want a roomate 😂) but other than that never a bad experience yet I hear this time and time again
Teaching too
Southern sororities tend to be the worst. A friend of mine and my sister were in New York State sororities and everything was very pleasant.
I'm in healthcare as well... very much a grown adult at 43 and the mean girl syndrome goes on still...its ridiculous! I hate it and after years of asking i have finally got an office to myself with minimal contact with others. I'm too old for all the nonsense and it's exhausting.
Looks like the algorithm brought me here. Sorry you had to go through this. I hope everything is going well for you now, and you have a great upcoming school year!
This doesn't just happen in groups. It happens in actual families as well. My toxic sisters did the same thing. They spread lies about me and basically tried to turn the entire community against me because they were jealous.
People can be mean and cruel because they have insecurities and are just plain evil. Yes evil people do exist and trying to stay in their toxic circles isn't in the least bit worth it.
The problem is when you keep trying to stay somewhere once you see what's going on. I didn't. I moved away and haven't spoken to them in over 12 years and I am so glad they aren't in my life anymore. It doesn't matter who is being abusive towards you. Walk away immediately.
Gangstalking
I'm so sorry this happened to you but just know you aren't alone in this! We don't have sororities in the UK but uni is really pushed on you and advertised as 'the best three years of your life'. It has not been for me! I ended up in a really bad living situation in my second year and felt exactly the way you described, almost dropped out and actually left that house without telling any of them I was so scared. The hardest part was that none of the people I considered my friends seemed to care that much, just kept hanging out with them and having the stereotypical uni experience. I really hope life gets better now that you've left ❤️
Thank you for sharing. Sororities take so much from people...money, time, pretty much your whole life. I dropped mine too sophomore year because I outgrew it and wanted more in my life than just that one experience.
Megan, thank you you’re such a wonderful and courageous woman for speaking out. We really appreciate you so much. May God bless you and keep you.❤❤❤❤❤
I'm so so sorry that you went through this. It's obvious to me that you're such a genuinely sweet and good person that just wants to make the best out of situations (which is amazing), but I'm glad you pulled the plug on this for the sake of your happiness and well being. I can't blame you at all for wanting to. I have anxiety as well, and it makes such a big difference to just be around less people, that just show the same amount of effort and love. I'm glad you're doing a lot better, and I'm sorry that greek life in your case made such a horrible impression. I'm involved at my smaller sized university, and although it does have its cons, there still are organizations out there that take good care of their members. We're not perfect by any means, there's been drama and the like, but I'm happy that there are people out there that are involved in this kind of thing that are simply very kind at heart. It's hard to find those people in this sometimes. And in some cases, removing yourself from the toxicity around greek life is very important. I'm sorry that it didn't live up to your expectations. I really wish you could be at my school and notice some of the differences. You seem like someone so many would want as a genuine, kind friend. I wish you the best in your future!
You're the only person I've heard that actually welcomed and had a healthy experience with the COVID lockdown. You sound much healthier! Good for you for recognizing how toxic the situation was.
I’m sorry that you went through this experience. No women/men needs to go through this .
You're soo pretty and your skin is so good! I'm sorry this shitty thing happened to you.
I went through something similar outside a sorority and it hurt really freaking badly. My first semester was my last for a long time and it was trauma and it turned out is really common despite given six counseling sessions for a crime. I’m so happy you are still on track enrolled andddd ur mental health is a priority!!! These girls a lot meet trauma right away at college
you are ding to good service, babe.
Stay golden.
Keep shining!
Peace x Love
Seems like you are on to bigger and better things. Good luck with your channel!
Thank you so much!
You are very smart to get out of the sorority. I have a negative opinion of social fraternities and sororities. This video just reinforces my existing negative opinion.
Wow
You explained this so well.
I heard sororities & fraternities are not christian. Now i know why. I was in a sorority a short time in high school. Didnt like it. So i quit.
I look back now years later. Thinking i would never be friends with those people now.
And i wasted the time i was friends with them.
But i did learn a valuable lesson.
About what people were like. And what is a good friend. And what is not.
GOD bless you.
You are smart & brave.
I'm in Kentucky and I was actually considering UofK, thank you so much for making this video
Good for you for doing what felt right for you. I rushed as a Freshman, but went inactive Junior year because it was all just too much. If anything, I’d suggest waiting until sophomore year to rush.
The best lesson we can learn I think, is paying attention to how people, places, shows etc, make you feel. If after talking to people, listening or spending time, you feel awful, or bad about yourself, scared or nervous, that is a BIG indicator that you need to get away from that person, place or thing. for a lot of people that's shows and podcasts or even the news they watch.
To a big extent we cultivate the relativity around us. so good on you for reshaping your world!
I went to an enormous university in the late 80's and went through rush. I was already pre-ordained for one in particular and after the first rush party it was a done deal. I was little sis of the VP, president of my pledge class, and absolutely horrified at the amount of partying. I went from a drinking party girl in HS to a designated driver in the era of "roofies" trying to wrangle my sisters safely home. After a year and a half I took a gap semester, transferred to a private university, and never looked back.
im really sorry you had to deal with all of this. im currently in college and i don't really care about the idea of being in greek life, but when i was a young kid i really wished to be popular and to be accepted by all the other kids. i wanted to be friends with the popular girls and for them to like me.
as young as i was, it was an extremely painful emotional experience for me especially since they didn't like me, i was bullied a lot, and had at times almost lost the good friends i did have. im lucky to not have to deal with something like that now, but it still hits me somewhere.
im sorry you have to deal with this toxic environment for you about being in a sorority or in greek life in general. im happy you learned a lot and im sure you're not alone.
i encourage everyone to find their own happiness and to go for what you want in your life. i have a really great job and i love working for my campus dining and hospitality services. outside of school and stuff, my work is my life. and im happy :)
my sorority never gave us a checklist of questions we had to ask! i feel like our convos were genuinely about getting to know them and diving deeper when they brought up their interests
I'm a high school senior, I've been watching a lot of sorority videos recently, because I'd like to get into one next year when I go to college. but certainly although I feel excited about the process, I also have anxiety to the point that out of nowhere I can let go of crying about small things due to the pressure or situations that others caused. One of my biggest fears is when I get to a sorority something similar to what happened to you happens to me, I certainly don't know if I could have had the strength to face the girls, it was cruel that part of the organization of the sorority to not supporting you the truth. I hope you feel much better now, and thank you for making me see a side of this whole process that I did not know.
Please don't.
If you are serious about your academic future and want to be a well-educated and focused adult, capable of blazing your own path in life - do NOT join a sorority. They may have "potential" networking benefits IF you successfully join one, but they (just like frats) ultimately serve their own built-in egos and "legacies."
They are mostly DISTRACTIONS from studies and demand so much of your time (for things that are neither academic or extra-curricular - or community service either) that you will set yourself up for burnout and/or sacrificing your academic and INTELLECTUAL standards to keep up with their selfish and shallow demands.
Finally, frats amd sororities are demeaning and superficial environments. So many of the people leading these houses will mindlessly, obnoxiously, and OBLIVIOUSLY engage in hazing, alcohol abuse, and even sex crimes (from harassment to straight up conspiratorial gang rapes). Never questioning how little value any of it adds to the matriculant experiences - just doing it out of "tradition" and an elitist culture of subjugation and classism in an abusive caste system.
You are better off acclimating yourself to university life the first couple of semesters (using uni resources like academic and activity counselors) and establishing both your academic comfort zones (how many courses to study per semester, scheduling, etc) and creating the foundations of a few solid friendships.
After that, you can pick and choose EXACTLY what extra-curriculars YOU want to invest your time in.
For example, say you are a marketing major, and you know a local animal shelter that is struggling to get animals adopted. So, you could negotiate an arrangement with that shelter to help with PR and promotinf local adoptions.
Anything but a sorority.
@@USMCCombatVet4TastyCrayons I agree 100%, join clubs it’s free and less strict. Sororities and fraternities are very much cult behavior.
I agree with the other people. Join clubs. They don't say you're buying friends for no reason. At my school, the sororities cost up to $3,000 a year and you must go to certain events or you will get in trouble or may even get FINED. From what I've seen with my friends and coworkers at my school, once the newness and excitement wore off and they got their friends from it, the sorority just became a chore. I recommend you don't join if you will have trouble affording it or have a demanding major or will need to pay your way through school. Clubs are cheaper and you're not required to attend meetings. Also like the other commenter said, take the first semester to acclimate to school. If you don't need a job to support yourself, don't work. Try the light course load (12 hours or maybe 15) and join clubs, follow all the school lnstagram accounts related to your interests: the gym, your major, your fave sports, student gov't, etc. so you know what events are happening. Learn what resources you have on campus to help you succeed. If it's a big school they should have everything from free tutoring to mental health services. I worked for my school so pls reach out if you have questions.
@@Whoknows-mf1cv this 🙌🙌
Noooo... girl join clubs where people are actually relaxed and down to earth. Why would you subject yourself to that?
I am glad you are safe from what happens to you. When you left to go back home due to CoVID, that was a sense of peace that God was letting you know that Greek Life was not good for you. God loves and accept you for who you are, so you do not need validation from other people. I assume you are a Senior now (I did the math) so keep up with the good work
I'm sorry you and anyone else went through this.
God bless you ☺️ He loves you and your family ❤️
Thank you, you too :)
Was in a sorority for two years. Terrible experience. Toxic environment. Fake friends. Probably one of the loneliest times in my life was living in the house. They judge you if you party a lot judge you if you don’t. It always felt like a lose lose situation.
Awww, I was never in a sorority but I had a similar situation in college with my roommates. Removing yourself the absolute best idea. Also hello I’m also in Lex :)
Also! The word about that positive ‘look’ is toxic positivity and it’s a cult/control tactic
I’m sorry you had to go through that too, cool that you’re in lex :))
I hate hearing stories like this. I know Greek life is very popular but i always had a bad feeling about some of the orgs.
Though i can’t relate, i had plenty of friend/roommate fights throughout college, and i know it’s not easy, especially living with friends.
Glad you’re doing better now and thank you for sharing!
I'm so sorry they treated you like that. I've experienced the same types of behaviors from people who I thought were my friends. It felt like betrayal and abandonment to me. Again, I'm sorry they said and did hurtful things to you and about you. I can understand only going to class and straight back to the dorm. You must have felt so alone.
So sorry for all your pain and suffering. I went thru something similar myself with an invitation only organization. All I can say is strive for personal happiness. Be successful at what you do best and shine!!!☀️☀️☀️ People usually reap what they sown.
I wish I could have been there to be a friend to you, you seem so nice. I’m sorry you went through that but glad you are in a better situation now.
That’s very sweet of you :)
I'm not in a sorority, but I understand why you insisted on trying to make it work with those toxic people--I've had a lot of drama with some "friends" in the past year and a half, and I allowed their completely ridiculous and unfair behaviour to affect me for about a year before I finally managed to _stop caring about them_ ... I used to consider them dear friends, and I didn't want to give up... just like you... from outside it's clear the only healthy thing to do is to think "screw them!" and have them out of your life, but from inside, sometimes you are so shocked, you can't believe that good relationship isn't there anymore, and you want to do anything to have it back... and only when you are exhausted and devastated, you manage to get out, for self-preservation, and because you really are worn out, you simply can't live like that anymore.
Wow im so sorry you went through this; being excluded like this is absolutely horrible. I’ve been through something similar and it wrecked me more than anything.
Thanks for being real and thanks for your honesty! Thanks for sharing!
You are THE Strongest,AND MOST BRAVE! Keep TALKING!💯💪❤️
Girl, I feel you. I chose one of the "lower" sororities at my school, AXO. I chose the "lower" ranked sorority because I felt they had the best vibe on my end. Ended up getting picked by the top two houses and AXO. I chose AXO because I thought it would be less of a narcissistic girls sorority. AXO girls were outdoorsy, adventurous, smoked weed, and had more open attitudes. But when it was time to choose my big, it got toxic quickly. 3 girls were fighting over me, and all of them started turning against each other and later turning against me when turning against each other didn't work. You can take the sorority girl out of the fight, but you can't take the fight out of the sorority girl. When the big/lil thing started getting out of hand was when I dropped. I can't tell you I've never regretted it, but I can tell you, I never looked back on leaving my sorority.
The fact you say you chose a sorority at all is like saying you chose to go out with the prison inmate that looked the leaat likely to beat you when he gets mad.
You could have had a college experience that was full of wonderful opportunities and friendships WITHOUT any sorority involvement in your life at all - and the benefits would have far outweighed the risks of even your "safer bet" sorority.
Frats and sororities serve NO legitimate purpose and are relics of the elitist, racist, and comformist "traditions" of a bunch of white men from as far back as the days when people could rememebr where they were when Lincoln emancipated the slaves.
Hell, sororities weren't even allowed at first. It was a mens only club and good luck even going to a university if you were a woman.
@@USMCCombatVet4TastyCrayons I agree with everything that you said. Luckily, I dropped really early on so I joined other clubs and had an amazing college experience. I realized early on that it wasn't for me.
@@USMCCombatVet4TastyCrayons ok calm down dude not all of them are shit. just most of them.
@@queerlibtardhippie9357 that is like saying Russian roulette isn't always dangerous - only when you lose 😂
@@aspenbentley I am really happy for you! That is the best feeling when you hear someone happily skipped past the BS and lived a better, saner, more enriching life!
I hope you get all the rewards from your higher education that you deserve for your hard work!
I’m glad you got out. Real friends will always have your back no matter what. I’m can related to this that your “so called bff” will be the one are going to bully you! Now that I am in college again I don’t care making friends at all. It gives me anxiety thinking of them talking behind my back. Hope everything is well now. Thanks for sharing!
Glad you got out you got to see who your real friends are & that being in a sorority isn't everything those girls who treated you like garbage are probably talking trash about each other & are probably wrecking each other personal relationships. At least they won't destroy yours & your friend who you've known for 10 years just cut her out you got to see her true colors.
I’m so sorry you had such a bad experience. I’m really lucky to have the best community, it makes me so sad when I hear about experiences like this, but I’m glad you did what was right for you. My chapter does values based recruitment and we don’t care about looks and made me feel at home, my school pushes for this type of recruitment. I love my chapter and the Panhellenic community at my school.
Thank you so much for your story and also thank you! For looking into the lens its a lot of people that looks left and right and not into the actual lens so thanks for that too!!!
I am so sorry this happened to you. I hope you have a wonderful strong group of friends!
I went through the same thing. This was almost 20 years ago but it still sticks with me. My "clique" freshman year was my big, her roommate and 1 other girl. My big transferred back home after that year, her roommate left to study abroad and the other girl left for an internship. So I was without a network after that. Then this girl I didn't get along with became president and she and I had several run-ins. My mom overheard stuff on the phone that this girl said to me which she called hateful. Junior year I got pulled from rush because I "couldn't handle it" and my roommate that year, who I thought was my friend, completely turned on me to protect herself. I was miserable that semester living on the sorority hall with this bully and I couldn't escape it. Nobody would help me, not even the adults in the chapter advisory board. I was calling home asking if my own family was as embarassed by me as the sorority. I went to study abroad in France 2nd semester of junior year and had a blast with this open, diverse, interesting group of people. After being treated as this unlikable mess by the sorority I realized it wasn't me, it was this toxic mean girl dynamic and I wasn't playing the game to their liking. I was hidden away from rush again senior year and did paperwork. I stayed in it that semester after getting back from France because I didn't want to give those mean girls the satisfaction of getting rid of me but only did the minimum, then ended up graduating a semester early. I only stayed in touch with 2 girls, my big an another girl who ended up back in my hometown after graduation. That experience really scarred me and I would encourage anybody to think twice because greek life is not always what it seems.
The Greek scene at my tiny Alma Mater was ridiculous. I think I was soured on the whole idea because my best friend who was a year ahead of me was blackballed both times she rushed. Super judgmental and superficial. I went through a couple of rounds and happily dropped rush. Sophomore year, I helped bring a service based coed fraternity on campus. That was a happy experience for all of us. Much cheaper, no hazing, we welcomed everyone and worked with Pan Hel to provide service project opportunities.
I’m from Australia so all of this sorority stuff is foreign to me. But it seems like a continuation of the immature, teenage clique drama you might expect in middle school. Why on earth would grown adult women want to be part of something like this? I mean isn’t part of the University experience is breaking out on your own and learning to live and think independently?? Aren’t you supposed to mature during your years of study?
I’m so sorry this happened to you. It’s completely toxic and unacceptable. You did well to break away from this institution and people. There is way more to life than getting involved in teenage angst and drama when you’re supposed to be an adult!
I was in a sorority and still felt lonely in college. It’s not for everyone.
THIS!!! This is why I don't do sororities, mom groups, church groups or any kind of girl cliques. But then, I am not tall or blonde, so I am not even a part of the pyramid.
Yeah that sounds like a cult not a sisterhood. I get panic attacks so I’m glad you know your triggers and removed yourself from the negative environment it takes maturity - you get my utmost respect 💯
I'm from Sweden and we have nothing similar to greek life here. I find sororities and fraterneties fascinating and crazy at the same time. I obviously don't know a whole lot about them, but it seems to me like it's for the rich, social, good looking, already-having-an-upper-hand students, to help them feel even more superiour to the rest of the students. Like, is there sororities where shy girls, girls with adhd/autism/anxiety/etc would be welcomed? How about girls that are not considered "pretty" by today's standards? Girls who aren't wealthy (or in reality, have wealthy parents)?
I would imagine if it's truly about forming lifelong friendships and support each other throughout college and the rest of your life, you'd want a diverse group of people, like you said. Only surrounding yourself with people who are a lot like you usually doesn't help personal growth.
Also the entire rush process sounds so crazy. I know there's usually dress codes for each day, and very set rules on what to do and say etc. to find the group of people where you "belong". It all sound so backwards to me!
And to think this is young ladies, usually somewhere around 18-20 years old, right? They're young, but they're adults. The entire thing sounds like something middle school age kids would do where I live, not young adults. How the girls you had trouble with behaved is pretty much exaxtly how my bullies behaved. Difference is we were 13-14 years old, not young adults! It's just so crazy to me.
There are sororities for regular people to and ones based on academic and trade affiliation, bilut they don't get attention.
Omg I went to college 19 years ago and I wanted to pledge BUT I saw so many non-diverse groups, usually all white girls, blonde and I don’t fit into that description because I’m a black girl. Lol 😂 but anyways it definitely made me not want to be part of that because I’m sure I wouldn’t have “fit” in. (not because of me but because I would most likely be the only black girl in that situation)
Anyways, thank you for sharing this. 🤍
I feel ya! I was put off by the fact you have to pay to find friends and be involved, but after seeing how homogenous the houses were, it was a big no for me… I’ve been out of school for 8 yrs now and I do wish I had a group of friends to hangout with in the real world that I went through school with, but I don’t regret not rushing. The few friends I still have are amazing and we catch up when we can lol
No problem I’m glad it can be helpful to people
I heard that sororities were only desegregated in 2013 idk how true that is but you can definitely tell ya know. I’m sorry that you couldn’t find a sorority that you would feel comfortable in though
You attend a PWI?
I understand how you feel. I joined the primarily white fraternity instead of a multicultural fraternity because I thought I could be the bridge between the cultures. But it was a mistake and it backfired on me. You can’t desegregate people who don’t wanna branch out sadly. Wish I went the cultural fraternity route. At least I’m out of the toxicity now
I’m Australian
So we don’t have sororities
I’m so sorry those girls were so horrible to you
Bullies are horrible
Especially when they form a group to do it to someone.
the fact that ur "friends" had no solid evidence against you is proof that they were probably just jealous of you. its also possible one of them liked a guy who may have liked you? idk seems like they're just insecure
I had that happen to me in high school, and more than likely, one of the girls was jealous. I would say it was your roommate because you can't turn that easily from a friendship. The other two girls would have taken her word because she knew you the longest. I hate that you went through that, but it happens even when you're an adult. The good thing is that you will be able to spot red flags next time. I can't stand two faced People and their inconsistencies make it obvious.
(From my European point of view) this mindset of "popularity" and all that is something you find in highschool but you grow out of in college.
Wow. This story downright scary - a sobering message about people in general, not just Greek life.
My school only had 3 sororities. And can definitely agree that each house has a preference of who they want to join. My sorority was known as the weird one 🤷🏻♀️. My big quit right after I found out who she was. My little quit right before. I loved it at times but definitely wouldn’t rush again if given the choice. All the girls were super cliquey too. I’m a legacy so it was hard on me since I had a name to live up too. Then when I told them I was leaving the college, they told me they did my paperwork for me to be an alumni and they never did.
There are so many SO MANY clubs in uni. Greek life while the loudest thung most people hear about, are not the end all and tend to actually be quite dangeous. Attend your school's activity fair or club day, there is always a club for everyone! I heard so many horror stories from people in sororities ands frats who ended up dropping it, as well as my roomie who was devastated after not being selected for a sorority even though she was a legacy. She started the year so low and ended up dropping out of school. So unnecessary.
I just finished Alexandra Robbins’ book "Pledged" (probably the most infamous book regarding sororities) and I was wondering what has changed in fraternity/sorority cluture since 2005 - and the answer seems to be literally nothing (apart from sororities becoming - by force - more diverse). This whole subculture is alien to me since this does not exist in Europe but it´s baffling how such an superficial tradition that long drifted far away from the principles of its origin is such a dominating factor in US colleges/universities
I’m not even halfway through the video, but I just wanted to say I am so sorry you had a poor experience.
I had a similar experience in high school. I had two other friends, and we would hang out all the time. There was one time when they hung out without me, and then it became several times. I think in total they had about six or seven outings without me.
I basically ended up just slowly pulling away from them, and I just did not want to associate myself with that negative energy.
I don’t know where you are in your life now, but I just wanted to say true friends will come. You will find somebody that is genuine, kind, and that will want to be your friend. Just please stay positive! You got this! I wish you all the best.
As a ex cult temple member it's crazy anyone would want to willingly subject themselves to a fraternal order.
Told my kids not to join a frat or sorority. Only one didn't listen, only one has college debt!
Im curious to see how these girls will turn out as grown middle age adults. That is so weird to me. Like strange behavior. I could see this happening at 13 years old but not when adults. I mean ive dealt with immature shit in my life but i believe it goes back to jealousy. Anyways im glad u are outta that!
This is a good question. I was never part of a sorority, but many, many girls from my high school were part of one when they went to college, and now that we’re all done with college, it is interesting to see.
Most of these girls live fairly normal lives; I feel like they definitely get more “grounded” once they get a real-world job.
I guess my observation is that it feels like I got “grounded” once I went to college. I got a long-term bf (who I married a month ago!), I did really well in school, I got internships and research opportunities, and I got a full-time job as I was finishing up my degree. My point is that I “grew up” the minute I got to college.
The girls that went into a sorority just had wildly different experiences. From the outside, it looked like a way to almost extend high school if that makes sense. Sorority girls basically seem like high schoolers. It felt like a way to get a longer “high school/teenager” type of experience.
Now that we’ve all graduated, I finally see them living like adults: regular 9-5, no more night life, long term partners, etc. I guess I just started that sooner than they did. Not to be weird about it, but sorority girls often seem … immature.
Just my 2 cents. Obviously everyone’s different though.
Guess what?! This type of situation can happen in retirement homes. We had moved from a retirement home where we had our own rooms. The building was old and had structural damage. The new home had semi private rooms. I moved in with a resident from my old address. We had known each other since Kindergarten. We had a big falling out. Adding to the problem, most of us newcomers were from a lower socioeconomic background than those in the newer home. We felt very out of place. It felt like going from a poorhouse from the Dickens' era to a 19th century Swiss finishing school.
This video just popped up for me, and then I see you are a book channel too!! So glad you got out of this situation and are healing from it ❤❤ (I realize this video is now new, but still 😂)
I learned all I needed to know about Greek Life from watching Animal House when I was younger. 😊