Hello everyone! I am Robin Wang, the director of Wei-Lai! Thank you so much for watching our film, for commenting, and for sharing. We are beyond grateful for the responses so far - they are deeply felt and appreciated. Thank you again to Omeleto for sharing our story with the world ~
as an asian father who must give out all my life, time, money for my sons and still, the saving has never been enough to send them to good universities, I don't know what else to do to show how i love them. i've given them my all.
I felt so unloved, being Asian, born in a Western society. Never heard the word love from my mom and only received 1 hug from her my whole life. When I was old enough to work, I searched for jobs as a home sitter for the elderly so I could move out.
@@erin8047 Thank you. It helps to know that others can relate. With time, I have learned to find & cherish myself. And, clearly from your response, it has made you a sensitive & empathetic person.
I understand and can relate. My dad as long as I can remember, has never given me a hug. He was very strict and definitely never could talked back to him. Hope you're healing ❤
@@eg1197 Thank you for relating. Children have both physical & emotional needs. Our parents focused on the physical: food, shelter, education. Now, I give to others what I could not have. Hope you are healing & loving yourself as well.
I really was trying not to cry but this made me think of my relationship with my dad when I was a kid. I wanted to run away so many times from home, our restaurant, and just from him. I hated being raised Korean while trying to being the American born that I am and I hated him telling me and punishing me in his way which he said has to be the traditional Korean way. And of course, there were so many times my dad apologized to me just like this in the video. And now, I miss him so much. I wish I could tell him I understand now and even thank him. Thank you for this video. Very much.
I think it's because we Asain have not as previlege as the white, so we need to fight in the competitive way. And also parents leave the forms of communication and truama from their generation, so do the love to their children. I think it is hard to know the true difference of love and harm from parents. It's not your fault.
I grew up in this culture where older generations are ingrained with the idea that beating children so to not ‘spoil’ them is the only way. Mothers/fathers who show signs of emotional connection and care are to be said as spoiling their children. The parents will be mocked and shamed just to show emotional care according to traditional parenting. Children turns out in the below outcome: 1. Overachievers and perfectionist and empty inside suffering lifelong depression and anxiety 2. Afraid to achieve anything because nothing is good enough in the parents eyes. Either way it accumulates generational trauma the pain just keeps accumulating and passing down. This CANNOT go on anymore. No more beating… no more shallow connection with children please. Proper brain development requires emotional nutrients which requires emotional and physical closeness with parents. Dear parents subscribing to old authoritarian parenting… please stop killing your children’s souls. And in the process… you’re killing yours too… trust me… if you can read… you can slow down and change. The old way of parenting has to stop! That’s flat out abusive… hurt your psyche and hurt theirs … so why would you want to pass it down and hurt the children you love dearly deep down? Heal your wounds inside and you … and your children will all be spared from the generational pain. Trust me on this. Been there as a child. Took decade more work to realize this.
I cannot agree more. Chinese parents have immense love for children, willing to sacrifice anything and everything for children, every decision made is for the sake of the children. Imagine parental guidance with the kind of emotion the white people have for their children, that would be perfect. So I cannot help but to say that the greatest misfortune of the Chinese is the parenting style 打是疼骂是爱 (to beat is to love and to scold is to love) - to some people they are so proud of this phrase and swear this is the best method just because they turned out alright but they never guessed how it may affect them subconsciously. I was not physically abused and I look like a well adjusted adult but I never told anyone I had suicide thoughts when young, and I am too afraid to really bond with anyone even my own children to avoid any unbearable hurt. The psychological trauma is very real. Hope the newer generation can do better.
@@lydiat5819 oh my friend … thank you for the brave share here. Please know that we are the brave generation here to heal our own wounds from 2000 plus years of passed down trauma of authoritarian parenting. Please be very kind and compassionate to those wounded parts. This is also why I’m very outspoken on the topic of inner healing and of not passing this style of parenting down. It’s thousands of years of misunderstanding that beating equates to love. Equating beating to love is merely a familiar trauma bond/pain passed down for thousands of years due to ignorance and unconsciousness causing so much suffering for billions of people subscribing to that. We are ending that parenting style here. That’s madness even though it’s common. First principle of love is NOT to harm (physically and emotionally). Beating physically/emotionally (berating others) is harm. Parents cannot say you love the children if parents perpetuate harm … there might be some feelings of connection there but parents harming children physically / emotionally means they lack capability to love. 𣎴打不成器 (children requires beating to achieve greatness) is just WRONG. Half of them may ‘achieve’ ‘success’ but I guarantee there’s lots of emotional pain inside all children who were beaten physically / emotionally and it doesn’t go away until intervention in adulthood. Ironically/thankfully speaking … ability/capability to love is a learned skills … starting with how we parent our wounded parts … I genuinely hope you (and many that come across my comment) find the love and compassion within you and may that be filled and spread to all those you care.
@@lydiat5819 Something I realized is that they seem to think that they're fine because they're already a little bit better than their predecessors. They stopped trying to make things better because they think they're good enough. The key part is that it's not about improvement right now, it's about fixing a FLAW. A very major, generation-crossing flaw.
My parents were never like that, they are the definition of “understanding” in every level. And they are Asian too. So it totally depends on the mentality and personality of the parents. Also my parents had never used violent punishments or any kind of punishments on me. They rather explain me if needed. And the explanations enlightens a new aspect, so why not, I can correct myself way better.
My Chinese parents are the same way. I had a happy childhood, and I was jealous by all my cousins. Now I earn $25 per hour and my cousins earn $100 and more per hour working as doctor and engineer. Their hard work as a kid was paid off by highly rewarding jobs. I wonder what I would become if they could push me a little more like other Asian parents.
Although it shows the strain the parents were under and their stubbornness to stick to traditional ways it doesn’t justify the beatings or even allowing the situation to the point where the boy felt he was unloved and ashamed of his own ethnicity. It just shows passing on generational trauma.
@@lewismatthews4247there is a middle way between coddling and physical abuse. Nothing justifies corporal punishment, and it can backfire. Genetics can also determine obesity and mental acuity.
@@lewismatthews4247 agreed, and the parents did show love to the kid and the fact that the father cried says it all. Even the kid understood it in the end, idk why western ppl keep trying to tell us that our culture is bad with kids, its not. We aren't so sensitive that our parents have to treat us like the second kid's. Our parents show us what the world is truly like, so no outsider hurts us.
Well as a half Japanese and half Brit all I can say is there is no excuse for abusing a child in any form or fashion no matter how busy or stressed. I had parents who abused me every way imaginable and was then sent to dads side to grandparents who abused me even worse. I prayed every night for a rescue, anyone who would adopt me. I even sent out letters in my 6 y/o handwriting begging to be adopted but as a young child I didn't have postage or even address, just a name on the envelopes and one was Dolly Parton lol. Of course no one came for me. Mother and Dad hated me even to this day when I tried to get understanding. So I saw this film in a while different way than most others did. And I am glad others got to enjoy it as it was intended. Because most likely you came from pure love.
I'm sorry you went through that I was also physically and emotionally abused by mother as well although not as badly as yours I pray that you get Justice and healing
Not to generalize, but it is a common Asian parenting style-- authoritarian. Most children of Asian descend are raised not to express their emotions and feelings freely. Their Asian parents (and the society in which they grew up) often deny or suppress their emotions and feelings, as they themselves were raised that way too. However, it doesn't mean "Asian parents do not love their children". Most of them just don't know how. However, some are willing to make the change to break the cycle and to close the "generation gap."
This is the text-book way of Asians apologize and accept apologies: Parent: here, eat some of your favorite dumplings. (sorry) Child: Hmm, it tastes good. (apology accepted)
I love when deep emotions are expressed in a strong but simple way. The actor that plays Wei-Lai's dad is just superb. I really want to see him in other movies. I love his emotions. The young actor that plays Wei Lai is so charismatic and adorable. I would love to see him evolved as an actor. I really enjoyed the film.
Thanks Omeleto for showing us all that movies need not be an hour to three hours to be poignant and totally fulfilling. I watched over 300 movies during covid lock down and find these shorts just as fulfilling with only a fraction of the time.
This hits hard. I'm Korean raised in America. I get that 1st generation parents wants to keep the tradition alive. However, they do need to recognize that there's other cultural influences around your child. Such as school, friends and environment. My father had no idea I wanted a hug from him until I was 24. Changes are hard but not impossible.
thank you for this message. I'm still a young adult myself; turning 18 next year, but this looks like a word of warning for me. I was born and raised Vietnamese, and moved to Canada just about a year ago. The thought of raising children of my own in Canada... I do want to keep the tradition going, to the point of thinking of bringing them back to Vietnam to raise them (a farfetched goal), but after seeing the video and your story, maybe it's not so bad to embrace this fact.
food is our way of showing love in chinese culture, my parents were strict to me but they brought me fruit to eat while i was studying and always made sure to have a lot of variety of food to eat during dinner
饿不饿 made me cry so much. It's basically I love u in Chinese. And it's never empty. Parents just magically have food always but actually it's a lot of blood sweat and tears to make that food.
My mother brought me two eggs before exam. The catch is you have to get 💯. I don’t have appetite after hearing that. After all, when I do get 💯, the question is how come you didn’t get 120. What happened to the bonus questions 😢
Definitely seen this dynamic at play in just about everything I've seen about modern Chinese society ... even lovers / prospective suitors use the food route, and husband / wife cooking together is a way of loving communication. Maybe Weilai's parents need to bring him to the restaurant more ...
I do have concern about the child having physical bruises from being beaten with an object. It doesn’t matter what culture or race you are, damaging the skin is not acceptable. The parents focus mainly on food and shelter. I appreciated that the mother recognizes that perhaps they need to consider doing things differently. All the actors were great! The boy was creative in finding away to work things out with his parents. Everyone loves one another but need help in trying to live together.
Letting the kid become as fat as he did and failing in school are also a form of abuse. Neglecting to care for the fat kid’s wellbeing both physically and intellectually is abuse.
@@lewismatthews4247 I’m the youngest in a large family and I can assure you people are different, even within the same family. A couple of my siblings have struggled with weight their whole lives but I’ve been thin and can eat whatever I want, even at 50. I wasn’t great in school but four of my siblings have masters degrees, yet I’m financially better off than they are. We were all raised in the same house together by the same parents. Point being is that I don’t think you can judge people solely by their physical attributes or their grades.
@@Ikajo Given the out of control nature of modern children who know that there are no serious consequences for their behavior leading them to be entitled, arrogant and ill-mannered seems to be a good indication that at a little mild spanking is in order. And a swat with an open palm isn't going to do any kind of permanent damage to any child. It certainly never did to me.
Communication is needed between parents and children... As well as learning to accept that your child is their own person, free to be who they want to be... We are here to guide them, to support them, and try to teach them how to handle the world around them. Not make them compete to be 'better than we were', or anything like that.
I think this is hard for any parent. In this particular situation compounded by the parents fear that their kid will lose their heritage makes them come down harder on the kid.
@@JL_hahaha0303 And this is why most of asia is a hell hole while many populations are facing a hard crash, there is a reason so many of us run to the west but almost no one want to move to asia.
I'm not even Asian, nor white, but this hit so hard, a very deep nerve. I feel like this is a universal theme in America with non-white kids looking on with longing to how white kids are raised. For a period of time, we wish we could be white. It's like an indescribable freedom.
There's a downside to every culture's parenting. Because we're not white, we over-emphasize the positive side. Ppl always do this, when something isn't ours, we see all that's good with what we don't have. When we have something, we see all the hardships we have to deal with. What we can rly do to be happy is being grateful for what we have instead, because trust me there's more than meets the eye about white families. I had a white friend who was beaten and mistreated by his uncle as a child, then the child predator stories we hear about on the news, a friend was also forced to move out and push carts for a living when he turned 18. Ofc I also have friends who grow up in loving families, one of my friends was allowed to not go to school for one year to give her self-discovery time, friends with decent parents. I feel every culture has good and bad aspects to parenting, that's just the way it is
You don't wish to be white. You wish to be upper middle-class. Not a single well-off middle-class kid I knew was unhappy with their parents. Every single one of my friends was a minority (heavily minority populated area).
As an Asian I understand why they want their kids to be perfect, things we as kids do never satisfy them a score of 19/20 makes them question us where did you lose that 1 mark? Doing things as per what seems perfect for them is all they care but I've tried to make my point to them that I'm not perfect and I'll never be because I'm tired of hearing things and being compared to and I'm glad my parents are trying to change, it'll take some time but it'll sure happen. Thanks for this beautiful short film ❤
My parents were never like that, they are the definition of “understanding” in every level. And they are Asian too. So it totally depends on the mentality and personality of the parents. Also my parents had never used violent punishments or any kind of punishments on me. They rather explain me if needed. And the explanations enlightens a new aspect, so why not, I can correct myself way better.
Your parents are the minority… they most likely grew up in well conditions and likely didn’t have trauma that other Asians parents that grew up in poverty and war-torn environments
@@Linaelinaeya well when i spoke about the marks i didn't direct it towards punishment it was just a way of them trying to make sure i do things right, they've always been saying do as it may seem right to you, they've allowed me for all the extracurricular activities i wanted to be a part of but it was just that i had to maintain my grades and sometimes as a kid when you balance both things well you want to hear a little appreciation, they've allowed me to even pick my major never forced their choices, already graduated from college but when i tell them about my small achievements they'd say, well that's great always stay humble don't be on cloud nine it's just the beginning 😂 kinda I'm a bit greedy like i wanna hear some praise but that's never happening so I'm just like let me do something great so that they'll have to praise me one day🤣😂 my agenda is just to make them praise me a little more
Oh this may be my all time favorite. As children we didn't get the sacrifices our parents made and exhaustion that came with it. I remember my Dad was never home , we had a liquor store, he worked like a dog to give a nice house ect. And sometimes he'd come home to us being brats , sorry and Thanks Dad . Glad for a the "happy ending" so we'll written.
Parents never being home is a form of emotional neglect (maybe even physical). Science is finding emotional/relational connection with a primary caregiver is just as critical for development as meeting basic needs. We need strong and close relationships to survive and help us define how we see ourselves and the world. Children should never feel guilt for what their parents did to keep CPS out of the picture as a bare minimum (food, clothing, stable shelter). Parents who have children are expected to sacrifice if they are not able to properly care for a child, if they do not want to do that, they should never have kids to begin with. You probably weren’t “being a brat”, you were probably experiencing attachment issues, that is common in homes like that because you weren’t receiving nurture and connection with your parent. Look up research studies, there’s a ton of information and studies about attachment and childhood “behavioral issues”. I’m sorry for what you went through as a child!
@@kellyanna94 Life is not black and white where every parents has to meet society's expectation towards a good parenting. There are so many circumstances that leads to parents not doing everything they can to raise a child properly. The intention of the father in the story is good but his ways are of typical in an asian household, which in the eyes of the modern world, is abuse. I know that this kind of videos triggers american's and woke people alike since they treat scolding as a form of child abuse even when the children is 100% at fault. But you need to realize that as innocent as the kid in the story is shown, misdemeanor is something asian people don't like and we get punish because of it all the time. The kid just has the basis on his friend that his condition is worse compared to his best friend, which made him do the initiative to get adopted by his friend's parents. The disparity in social status is just one issue of the father's behavior, having to work as much as he did, while the american parents are in a much comfortable style of living that they are willing to take care of someone's kid for a few days for free. This does not excuse the father's treatment towards the kid, but the story also shows that it's just a phase on emotional breakdown on the kid, rather than the abuse he took from his parents, as the camp scene shows that he wants his parents to be the same as the american's, not to be adopted by the american's themselves as to what he thinks is right. The ending shows that he still very much willing to forgive his parents if they recognize their fault, as shown in the story in which the food is the way the father knows how to say sorry to his kid without telling him.
This film has got me absolutely WEEPING my eyes out. I love love love how stories of immigrant struggles are being elevated more nowadays because it's so needed. As an Asian-American first gen immigrant, the feeling of being unable to fit in and being so far from the "American Dream" is such an isolating feeling yet it's probably felt by every single POC in the States. Sharing these stories can go so far into helping us all realise that we're not alone. What a beautifully made film that packs a punch. Thank you Robin Wang, Tony Shi, and to all the incredible actors in this film.
Even though I am an African-American, I loved this film and its meaning. I think most children think that the grass is greener on the other side. I always admired the way Asian families worked together and held on to their customs and traditions. I think in every society there is a little envy of another race. Children do not realize there is good and bad in every race. If we want the grass to be greener on our side, we need to lovingly tend to it, weed, and water it, and soon someone will be envious of our grass. Thank you for this film, it was so touching.
One of the best short films I have ever seen... Great cinematography! Acting was second to none! The children were fun to watch! I'm so happy that I found Omeleto.
For the record and for the my deep memories and for asian son, after that dinner personally they will get right back to how they treated me and i actually tried to run away ( legit) but when they found out my dad dangled me holding my feets while my mom actually beated the crap out of my and for embarrassing the on the streets or at thier work they would slap me in the face and the worst thing about being Chinese is a different country is the racism, literally everyone will theat you like a scumbag and i felt like hell until i turned 18. My mom just kicked me out without even thinking twice
Can I just say something though. The reason he probably snapped THERE at that place specifically was likely because he felt safe, he probably knew his parents couldn't hit him, because he was in public. His parents seem to respect his friends parents, meaning they likely would've been incredibly embarrassed by him "acting up", but despite that instead of a slap on the face, or a knuckle to the cranium, he was safe because if they're anything like my parents, IMAGE IS EVERYTHING. The feelings after 8 minutes just felt so raw and I began to sob to the point I had to stop the video for a moment, at some point in my childhood I grew tired of being hit, of being yelled at continuously day after day as a child, he said something I always feared to, that I was tired, That I wanted to be treated as a kid not some teen that knew how to do everything, I wish I got praised for getting the highest grades in History, I WISH SOMEONE NOTICED THE MEDALS I HAVE HANGING ON MY WALL.
this is just a movie, in fact a lot of Chinese parents are way more blind and stubborn than this. It's as if no matter what their kids says, they feel that they are the most righteous in the house. Making home feels like a king and slave relationship. They (your parents) own your life, so you have to be useful to them once you grown up. No matter how many heart to heart talks the kids trying to do, most of the parents just brush it off as an undiscipline and ungrateful act. I'm one of those kids now grown up bitter and can't love my parents. To be real here, if the mindset of "I've (parents) suffered more, and you should be grateful that you (kids) have better life than us." Those kind of people should not have a children at all. Because it is not love. it is an immature act of revenge that you directed toward the kids. You Chinese parents should grow up mentally, and understands what it means to be a father or mother. REMEBER! we the kids do not have a choice except to be born. WE ARE NOT YOUR PROPERTIES! if you choose to make a kids, learn to be grateful for what they are. I really wish the reconciliation of Chinese family could be as easy and beautiful as this movie. I really do.
This is fiction. In reality, there is no reconciliation because they will never change, they're not sorry, and nothing will ever make me not hate them.
I've lived my entire life knowing my parents loved me(I think) but I've never heard them say that they do. This hits home, hard. Now a grown man, I do not know how to say I love you to anyone except to show it through my actions. I don't know if this has ruined me but I know I'm forever yearning to hear these 3 little words. I'm guilty of going to bed with people when they use these 3 words on me. That is bad. And usually these people are long gone by the time the weekend is over. FML.
Hang in there! You seem reflective enough, aware of your issues. With perspective, you will make it thru but just dont give up and settle. Love is how we're supposed to feel security and confidence for living. We feel the forever-committment of it and we rest on it and it gives us strength. God loves this way. You'll make it if you seek that kind of love!
@@mhzprayer Whoever you are, thank you for taking the time to type these words. You can't imagine how much it means to me. Thank you once again. So so much.💙
Such a great movie! Everyone did so well, especially this Asian boy. It is actually his first debut. He had no prior acting experience, but he did exceptionally well on his first movie acting! Congratulations! 🎉
I loved this because... Chinese isn't the only culture this happened with. There are many cultures that brought harsh parenting practices to America. Maybe it worked in the old world but it didn't work in the new. It took too many parents too long to realize their mistakes. And sometimes their kids felt unloved.
As a Asian always wanted a white parents bc all those beating and yelling coldness didn't help me growing up as a sensitive child . I still have trauma and I don't know to forgive them or love them or move on or leave them.
You don't know how many times I wanted to be like my friends being white when I was young. Able to have sleepover and freedom to do whatever you want. But being 1st generation and 1st born in America. I wasn't allowed to be a normal American kid. Help out at restaurant during weekend while all your friends are having fun. Good grades are must. Get in a good college is the must. Now I'm an adult and both of my parents are gone. I realized how much they had to give up, so I can have a great future.
I’m 39 year old, only son to two hardworking Asian parents in Belgium. I had all opportunities to have a good childhood, and I have stable income now (I’m an MD). But after all these years, I think they still see me as Wei-Lai. And they always will. Thank you Robin and the entire crew for this poignant mirror into my own life.
honesty, coming from a chinese household myself, i only learned how my parents expressed their love when i was much older and became aware of their actions. keeping me fed, keeping a roof over my head, looking out for me, although came down with tough love, i still had two loving parents which i was lucky to have. even more so when many of my friends literally have single parents or abusive parents, i failed to realise how lucky i was. although i wouldnt agree with my own parent's parenting, i realised they were raised in even worse conditions and this was what they felt was right. very thankful for my parents still for raising me into a decent person. the food scene made me tear up edit: also my extremely unaffectionate(except towards my mom) and unemotional dad had kissed my sister on the head for the first time on her wedding day. while prompted by the photographer however. it was crazy to see. maybe he will kiss my head on my wedding day XD :")
I love the use of pink and blue in the movie and the end to cherish the iconic way of saying I love you in every Asian household....being born brown, it's pretty much the same .....I love my parenrs to death but I do hope certain things change for the better in the future. It still amazes me how Asian adults end up being more loyal to their parents in their old age despite trauma, to fulfill their duty and in the name of an emotional bond that was never outwardly expressed. This film made me cry a bit ....I loved it so much
At the end I was tearing up, this hit too close to home. So many times I would wish to be raised like white kids and as a kid I would even tell my parents why can’t I be raised like them straight up to their face. They joked about me being adopted by someone else and I said I would like to. Looking back I’m sure hearing the stuff I said has broken their hearts. Also looking back, I understand why they did what they did, and that’s because they truly truly truly care about me. I love both of them so so much now. Thank you for making this short film, it really does encapsulate this feeling!
Laughed and also shed a tear. Such a creative depiction of how to handle family differences. The new generation needs to be heard and seen. We can't only be tools for abuse. Peace and blessings.
This made me cry because it's so relatable. I never receive any type of love from my strict abusive Asian parents but only from my teachers and foster mother.
Totally loved it. A really great piece - story, themes, performances. I don't think I have ever seen friendship between two boys so well depicted, like friends and brothers but mature in its own way.
Flat out sobbed to this. It reminds me a lot of my parents, who no matter how much they say they care don’t seem to show it. I’ve always doubted that they loved me at all for most of my childhood, and I still do all the time. They don’t hit me anymore due to run ins with CPS and stuff, but they’re still quite distant and unwilling to understand me and learn going forwards. I know (I think) they care about me, but it’d be awesome if I actually felt like it.
Goddamn I started tearing up at 8:45 cuz that’s how it really felt like. Even now as an adult I don’t exactly know what love is. I had more of a toxic and abusive household though, not just strict. This short film captures the emotions of everyone so well, thank you.
What people need sometimes is just space to think and reflect on what they are doing. These parents were so busy working they did not have that. They reproduced what they knew beause it was also a way to save time and energy, and because they thought it works. I hope life gets better for Wei Lai afterwards. As somebody below wrote: more generational trauma, but at some point, it must stop.
@@queencrissymarie2890 if a parent uses violence then a child will grow to be violent. If an adult hits another adult person they are charged with a crime. Yet adults can hit the smallest and weakest humans. Tragic.
@@queencrissymarie2890 the stove does not set out to harm a child. You learn not to touch the stove when it burns. When a person hits a person you learn to fear that person.
@@therealJamieJoy Hmm…I feel really conflicted here. I’m not a violent person, and abhor violence. When I was little, we used to get a smack on the bottom if we were really naughty. It didn’t turn me into a violent adult. I think children need to learn that their actions to have consequences. Strong violence against children (or anyone) is of course wrong.
The problem is not the violence or the hitting. The problem is not explaining why what you did was wrong. The kid explained exactly what he felt. The parents didn't explain that they were simply way too busy trying to make ends meet to put food on the table. They had very different priorities & areas of focus. And that's natural. Kids don't know the same things that adults do. They don't fear the same things like starvation or death or disease because they don't know those things. It's the parents' job to teach them that. Or involve someone else who can like a grandparent, another relative or a teacher. That's why governments have welfare programs & creches & public healthcare & education. Takes a village to raise a child.
This is so beautifully written and the execution by the cast was top notch! I live apart from my family and we don't call each other everyday but show our love by sharing what we ate for each meal. The old 'Have you eaten?' is most Asian families' 'I love you' so thank you for portraying this in this heartwarming 13 minute clip. :)
Thank you so much for this ❤️ the author had such a great story to tell. Also rlly sad how the best friend just left with his family and looked at Wei lai with negative and judging tones Lastly hitting kids obviously isn’t okay but this sheds light on he cultural differences between traditional Chinese and modern American families. And not all Chinese families are like this of course, because this is just one story out of the milllions of millions of stories that haven’t been told yet
This made me cry so much.. my Chinese mother always says that her only responsibility is to give me food and shelter and that I should cook and clean the house for myself and live a separate life from her if I didn’t want to be kicked out… she always hit me and once threatened to kill me. I once ran away to CPS after arguing and being hit by her and she constantly reminds me of it and how much money she spent on lawyer fees. I don’t know if I can ever forgive her and it seems pretty clear right now that she will never apologize and still believes what she did was the right thing. This really made me emotional, thanks for this.
I feel this story is straight to the point and I love the message behind it. The child lacks love and attention from their parents in most Asian families therefore they would do anything to get their parents attention. It’s a cry for help to the child. I can kind of relate to my situation with my own parents. I am thankful I get to live comfortably but it would be great if I can have their love and attention as well. That’s what matters to me the most
I’ll never understand how an adult of any culture resorts to beating a child with the idea that this will teach them a lesson. If you can’t come up with a better solution than hitting a child, you’re no kind of effective parent at all. Hitting is abuse, period.
I agree. However, Asian parents hit their kids and yell at them because they don’t know any other way to discipline them. It’s common in Asian households.
@@pandulce4447wait what. Many Asian kids I know got beaten and they all succeeded in college and have a good money earning job lol. The more strict the parents are, the nerdier and more introvert the kid. Parents don’t want their kids to go out partying. They want them to be developed well in academic area. Asian kids do hobbies such as playing the violin or piano, or martial arts. Their social skills aren’t that developed well, but at least they succeed in life. Though there are Asian partners who do not love their child and only use their child for fame and money. Those children end up depressed. Those parents are called tiger parents. As parents you should know the fine line between abuse and discipline. Sometimes, hitting your child lightly or threaten to hit them will do the job and will make them listen to you. But of course, still show love towards them. Or else, depression.
@@thomasnguyen6144 I wonder if there are any laws against abusing children?🤔 I wonder if there are any books written by child psychiatrists, psychologists, doctors, specialists on how to raise children? What about parenting courses?Btw, in case you truly live under a rock there are all these things & more available to ALL parents of ALL cultures & race.
Asian parents never say I love you to you. Asian parents show their love. Asian parents show their love to you. By doing stuff for you. By cooking you food. Feeding you. Love this.
This short story is played in real life in many Asian families. Love is never spoken, deeds matter more. Now I'm a grandfather and i say "I love you" to all my grandkids whenever I see them.
I bawled my eyes out. That scene when he said that white people actually loved their kids hit me really hard because growing up I used to feel that way as well.
It’s really not acceptable what Asian parents do to their kids. Scarring them both physically and mentally, making them incapable of making their own decisions in life, filling fear and the sense of not being proud of oneself for years and years. I know that our parents but beaten up by their parents, but that’s not an excuse to carry forward this practice. No wonder most Asians lose their shine during childhood, turning them into robots to always be successful and keep running the rat race. I know the intentions behind such treatment is sometimes good, but there are better ways to do this. He/she’s your child, a human, then treat them like one 😄
It’s because his parents want the little boy to grow-up to have a better life than they are, not because his parents doesn’t love him. They didn’t want him to have to struggles like they are.
Thank you for this. I can now confirm my grandma loved me coz she fed me so much til i almost burst, even if it took me 1-1/2hrs to finish everything. Including rootbeer with raw egg. And i can confirm my parents abhorred me coz, well, my dad didn't care, my mom fed me ONE cheap hotdog or banana with rice. And we weren't poor. The house was so big but there was zero love. Everyone just cared only about themselves. Even the food my grandma sent for me bec i was skinny & anemic, apparently my mom hid it & ate it for herself. Now i understand when chinese say that food is their love language. Mind blown. Thank you! Yes, i teared up too. Miss my ahma & angkong.
Asian kids born in western countries and raised in west would feel unloved by their parents cus they end up comparing their life with western kids. They are confuse why their parents beat them even if they're their own kids and why the parents are so strict and why the parents are never vocal about love like western parents. However, asian kids who are born and raised in Asia understand the parents as we live in a society where almost all parents behave the same way so we only think they're doing this for our own good. They're not vocal about how much they love us but they show their love through food. It's not only parents even for us it's difficult to say I Love you or hug to our parents and siblings. The only people we can say ILY must be our bf or gf that too via message LOL. I grew up getting beaten in catholic school and at home for always failing in math 😢 but these day from where I am from every school has pass a regulation that no teachers should beat students.
You thinking food can make up for years and years of abuse? All the missed experiences? I don't want their food. I never did. Their food, I would not even feed to an animal.
I had strict frugal somewhat parents but i never wanted for anything. My parents made sure what i got would last a while and not something that was in style and be out of date in six months. If i wanted a game system i had to buy it myself with my parents helping me with the money but also i had to pay them back but again i learned to apresate everything i got. and with my parents making be buy or save up for many things that i wanted i learned that i really didn't want but got another thing it help me with making sure did i really want it or need it. I also never felt unloved from them.
The amount of physical and verbal abuse that I had to endure from my Asian mom growing up was unbearable. I was barely able to pull through those terrible teenage years. I was seriously depressed. It took me many many years to come to terms with the fact that my mom loves her ego more than me.
It’s not right to beat your kids, but there’s a massive generational learning curve (within the past couple of generations)… so parents can most definitely love their kids with all their hearts despite being strict and physically punishing them. It’s not easy for parents if they’ve also been brought up a certain way. This short film is powerful - the son and both parents seem to learn something here.
Having grown up in a community with a large Asian community, from which came many of my friends and schoolmates, this movie really spoke to me. Also, for the record, I've always preferred blue to turquoise. 'Course, I'm not Chinese, either. But I'm just sayin'.
growing up as a Vietnamese American was hard and this film reminded me how unfair i felt compared to other kids, but now i realize that my parents had harsher childhood experiences
Hello everyone! I am Robin Wang, the director of Wei-Lai! Thank you so much for watching our film, for commenting, and for sharing. We are beyond grateful for the responses so far - they are deeply felt and appreciated. Thank you again to Omeleto for sharing our story with the world ~
I only have one thing to say..... you're awesome. Also, I'm glad you made a movie to show how it's not easy being 1st gen American.
Thank you and your cast and crew. This was beautiful.
That was amazingly well written! I loved how Wei Lai fought with his internal struggle of believing his parents didn't love him. It was great.
as an asian father who must give out all my life, time, money for my sons and still, the saving has never been enough to send them to good universities, I don't know what else to do to show how i love them. i've given them my all.
Such a beautiful film.
This touched my heart ❤️
It’s hurt so much and it’s beautiful at the same time
I felt so unloved, being Asian, born in a Western society. Never heard the word love from my mom and only received 1 hug from her my whole life. When I was old enough to work, I searched for jobs as a home sitter for the elderly so I could move out.
This makes me sad to read this, I also had a cold mother . I hope you are happier now.
@@erin8047 Thank you. It helps to know that others can relate. With time, I have learned to find & cherish myself. And, clearly from your response, it has made you a sensitive & empathetic person.
@Natasha Thank you for your kindness.
I understand and can relate. My dad as long as I can remember, has never given me a hug. He was very strict and definitely never could talked back to him. Hope you're healing ❤
@@eg1197 Thank you for relating. Children have both physical & emotional needs. Our parents focused on the physical: food, shelter, education. Now, I give to others what I could not have. Hope you are healing & loving yourself as well.
I really was trying not to cry but this made me think of my relationship with my dad when I was a kid. I wanted to run away so many times from home, our restaurant, and just from him. I hated being raised Korean while trying to being the American born that I am and I hated him telling me and punishing me in his way which he said has to be the traditional Korean way. And of course, there were so many times my dad apologized to me just like this in the video. And now, I miss him so much. I wish I could tell him I understand now and even thank him. Thank you for this video. Very much.
This was so very precious
I ran from home then my aunt sent me home then got grounded for year
Lmao my asian parents NEVER apologised for their actions.
but im glad some asian parents got to
그 부모님 어깨의 삶의 무게를 자녀는 이해하기 힘들다.
I think it's because we Asain have not as previlege as the white, so we need to fight in the competitive way. And also parents leave the forms of communication and truama from their generation, so do the love to their children. I think it is hard to know the true difference of love and harm from parents. It's not your fault.
I grew up in this culture where older generations are ingrained with the idea that beating children so to not ‘spoil’ them is the only way. Mothers/fathers who show signs of emotional connection and care are to be said as spoiling their children. The parents will be mocked and shamed just to show emotional care according to traditional parenting.
Children turns out in the below outcome:
1. Overachievers and perfectionist and empty inside suffering lifelong depression and anxiety
2. Afraid to achieve anything because nothing is good enough in the parents eyes.
Either way it accumulates generational trauma the pain just keeps accumulating and passing down.
This CANNOT go on anymore. No more beating… no more shallow connection with children please. Proper brain development requires emotional nutrients which requires emotional and physical closeness with parents.
Dear parents subscribing to old authoritarian parenting… please stop killing your children’s souls. And in the process… you’re killing yours too… trust me… if you can read… you can slow down and change. The old way of parenting has to stop! That’s flat out abusive… hurt your psyche and hurt theirs … so why would you want to pass it down and hurt the children you love dearly deep down? Heal your wounds inside and you … and your children will all be spared from the generational pain. Trust me on this. Been there as a child. Took decade more work to realize this.
I cannot agree more. Chinese parents have immense love for children, willing to sacrifice anything and everything for children, every decision made is for the sake of the children. Imagine parental guidance with the kind of emotion the white people have for their children, that would be perfect. So I cannot help but to say that the greatest misfortune of the Chinese is the parenting style 打是疼骂是爱 (to beat is to love and to scold is to love) - to some people they are so proud of this phrase and swear this is the best method just because they turned out alright but they never guessed how it may affect them subconsciously. I was not physically abused and I look like a well adjusted adult but I never told anyone I had suicide thoughts when young, and I am too afraid to really bond with anyone even my own children to avoid any unbearable hurt. The psychological trauma is very real.
Hope the newer generation can do better.
You explained it with such depth, words I was looking for. That’s why I ended up getting married, wanted to live with some else.
@@lydiat5819 oh my friend … thank you for the brave share here. Please know that we are the brave generation here to heal our own wounds from 2000 plus years of passed down trauma of authoritarian parenting. Please be very kind and compassionate to those wounded parts.
This is also why I’m very outspoken on the topic of inner healing and of not passing this style of parenting down.
It’s thousands of years of misunderstanding that beating equates to love. Equating beating to love is merely a familiar trauma bond/pain passed down for thousands of years due to ignorance and unconsciousness causing so much suffering for billions of people subscribing to that. We are ending that parenting style here. That’s madness even though it’s common.
First principle of love is NOT to harm (physically and emotionally). Beating physically/emotionally (berating others) is harm. Parents cannot say you love the children if parents perpetuate harm … there might be some feelings of connection there but parents harming children physically / emotionally means they lack capability to love. 𣎴打不成器 (children requires beating to achieve greatness) is just WRONG. Half of them may ‘achieve’ ‘success’ but I guarantee there’s lots of emotional pain inside all children who were beaten physically / emotionally and it doesn’t go away until intervention in adulthood.
Ironically/thankfully speaking … ability/capability to love is a learned skills … starting with how we parent our wounded parts …
I genuinely hope you (and many that come across my comment) find the love and compassion within you and may that be filled and spread to all those you care.
@@lydiat5819 Something I realized is that they seem to think that they're fine because they're already a little bit better than their predecessors. They stopped trying to make things better because they think they're good enough. The key part is that it's not about improvement right now, it's about fixing a FLAW. A very major, generation-crossing flaw.
Their souls are gone long ago. You, we, need to end this and absolutely not allow it to go on.
My parents were never like that, they are the definition of “understanding” in every level. And they are Asian too. So it totally depends on the mentality and personality of the parents.
Also my parents had never used violent punishments or any kind of punishments on me. They rather explain me if needed. And the explanations enlightens a new aspect, so why not, I can correct myself way better.
You are the lucky few and I think your parents are quite young.
My parents too. And mine are not young at all. They spent a lot of time and effort to explain things to me.
same
my parents too
i loveeeeee them
My Chinese parents are the same way. I had a happy childhood, and I was jealous by all my cousins. Now I earn $25 per hour and my cousins earn $100 and more per hour working as doctor and engineer. Their hard work as a kid was paid off by highly rewarding jobs. I wonder what I would become if they could push me a little more like other Asian parents.
That’s very lucky of you
Although it shows the strain the parents were under and their stubbornness to stick to traditional ways it doesn’t justify the beatings or even allowing the situation to the point where the boy felt he was unloved and ashamed of his own ethnicity. It just shows passing on generational trauma.
Agreed
It's not the parent's fault when that's all they know how to show love. It's very much justified to admit faults, and change old ways that are wrong.
@@lewismatthews4247there is a middle way between coddling and physical abuse. Nothing justifies corporal punishment, and it can backfire.
Genetics can also determine obesity and mental acuity.
@@lewismatthews4247 agreed, and the parents did show love to the kid and the fact that the father cried says it all. Even the kid understood it in the end, idk why western ppl keep trying to tell us that our culture is bad with kids, its not. We aren't so sensitive that our parents have to treat us like the second kid's. Our parents show us what the world is truly like, so no outsider hurts us.
@@zestetzioni6325 when did the parent show love? I must’ve missed that part 🤨
Well as a half Japanese and half Brit all I can say is there is no excuse for abusing a child in any form or fashion no matter how busy or stressed. I had parents who abused me every way imaginable and was then sent to dads side to grandparents who abused me even worse. I prayed every night for a rescue, anyone who would adopt me. I even sent out letters in my 6 y/o handwriting begging to be adopted but as a young child I didn't have postage or even address, just a name on the envelopes and one was Dolly Parton lol. Of course no one came for me. Mother and Dad hated me even to this day when I tried to get understanding. So I saw this film in a while different way than most others did. And I am glad others got to enjoy it as it was intended. Because most likely you came from pure love.
I'm so sorry you experienced this Kati-Ana. I'm wishing you all the best. ❤❤❤
Abuse is a no no! But discipline done in love when it’s appropriate is another thing. Do distinguish between the two, it’s a world of difference!
I'm sorry you went through that I was also physically and emotionally abused by mother as well although not as badly as yours I pray that you get Justice and healing
My kids are half British Japanese. We left their Japanese dad. Sending you hugs. 💕
Not to generalize, but it is a common Asian parenting style-- authoritarian. Most children of Asian descend are raised not to express their emotions and feelings freely. Their Asian parents (and the society in which they grew up) often deny or suppress their emotions and feelings, as they themselves were raised that way too. However, it doesn't mean "Asian parents do not love their children". Most of them just don't know how. However, some are willing to make the change to break the cycle and to close the "generation gap."
Literally every Asian parents’ way of saying I love you is : “Have you eaten?” Or “Do you want to eat?”😭😭😭
I'd recommend "Khun Chai" to reflect on Chinese parents' way of showing love.
🤣😭
😂😂😂
This is the text-book way of Asians apologize and accept apologies:
Parent: here, eat some of your favorite dumplings. (sorry)
Child: Hmm, it tastes good. (apology accepted)
Asian people is tsundere??😂😂 it is so cutee
These kids are going places in their acting careers if they choose to pursue. Thank you for another great film!!
I am Ben's mom, and he said thank you for the uplifting words. He loves acting.
@@844frg I believe it! With you and Dad's guidance and support he'll go far. Blessed be.
No his Asian parents not gonna let him do acting😂
@@amyyy7522 valid
@@amyyy7522 💀
I love when deep emotions are expressed in a strong but simple way. The actor that plays Wei-Lai's dad is just superb. I really want to see him in other movies. I love his emotions. The young actor that plays Wei Lai is so charismatic and adorable. I would love to see him evolved as an actor. I really enjoyed the film.
Me too, my eyes are welling up rn
I loved how in the end the son spoke Chinese to his parents. It shows that he's reconnecting.
Agree!
I would sue my father if he I was in his place
I thought at first when the father gave him the dumplings that he would give him a fork to eat with instead of chopsticks.
And the father spoke English ;-)
@@gemstar7286 I thought the same too!
Thanks Omeleto for showing us all that movies need not be an hour to three hours to be poignant and totally fulfilling. I watched over 300 movies during covid lock down and find these shorts just as fulfilling with only a fraction of the time.
Took the words right out of my mouth! Well said!
Right 👍👍
ikrrr
300 MOVIES??
This hits hard. I'm Korean raised in America. I get that 1st generation parents wants to keep the tradition alive. However, they do need to recognize that there's other cultural influences around your child. Such as school, friends and environment. My father had no idea I wanted a hug from him until I was 24. Changes are hard but not impossible.
thank you for this message. I'm still a young adult myself; turning 18 next year, but this looks like a word of warning for me.
I was born and raised Vietnamese, and moved to Canada just about a year ago. The thought of raising children of my own in Canada... I do want to keep the tradition going, to the point of thinking of bringing them back to Vietnam to raise them (a farfetched goal), but after seeing the video and your story, maybe it's not so bad to embrace this fact.
Some traditions shouldn't be kept alive.
food is our way of showing love in chinese culture, my parents were strict to me but they brought me fruit to eat while i was studying and always made sure to have a lot of variety of food to eat during dinner
饿不饿 made me cry so much. It's basically I love u in Chinese. And it's never empty. Parents just magically have food always but actually it's a lot of blood sweat and tears to make that food.
My mother brought me two eggs before exam. The catch is you have to get 💯. I don’t have appetite after hearing that. After all, when I do get 💯, the question is how come you didn’t get 120. What happened to the bonus questions 😢
Definitely seen this dynamic at play in just about everything I've seen about modern Chinese society ... even lovers / prospective suitors use the food route, and husband / wife cooking together is a way of loving communication.
Maybe Weilai's parents need to bring him to the restaurant more ...
THE FRIENDSHIP BETWEEN THE BOYS IS PURE & GENUINE! I MISS MY FRIENDS IN MY PRIMARY SCHOOL ! 🥺🥺🥺
They became good friends even in real life. The chemistry of their friendship is amazing.
@@844frg 😍😍😍
I do have concern about the child having physical bruises from being beaten with an object. It doesn’t matter what culture or race you are, damaging the skin is not acceptable. The parents focus mainly on food and shelter. I appreciated that the mother recognizes that perhaps they need to consider doing things differently. All the actors were great! The boy was creative in finding away to work things out with his parents. Everyone loves one another but need help in trying to live together.
Letting the kid become as fat as he did and failing in school are also a form of abuse. Neglecting to care for the fat kid’s wellbeing both physically and intellectually is abuse.
@@lewismatthews4247 I’m the youngest in a large family and I can assure you people are different, even within the same family. A couple of my siblings have struggled with weight their whole lives but I’ve been thin and can eat whatever I want, even at 50. I wasn’t great in school but four of my siblings have masters degrees, yet I’m financially better off than they are. We were all raised in the same house together by the same parents. Point being is that I don’t think you can judge people solely by their physical attributes or their grades.
Bruises or not, hitting a child is not acceptable. If you hit an adult, it would be assault. How can you justify hitting a child?
Yes for real. I hate toxic behavior shielded by “culture.”
@@Ikajo Given the out of control nature of modern children who know that there are no serious consequences for their behavior leading them to be entitled, arrogant and ill-mannered seems to be a good indication that at a little mild spanking is in order. And a swat with an open palm isn't going to do any kind of permanent damage to any child. It certainly never did to me.
I show this video to my 9 years old half chinese son to let him understand how mommy childhood was. He cries and hugs me.
Communication is needed between parents and children... As well as learning to accept that your child is their own person, free to be who they want to be... We are here to guide them, to support them, and try to teach them how to handle the world around them. Not make them compete to be 'better than we were', or anything like that.
that seems to be the last thing on the list in our culture 🤣
@@JL_hahaha0303 shame on your culture then
I think this is hard for any parent. In this particular situation compounded by the parents fear that their kid will lose their heritage makes them come down harder on the kid.
@@fiestadancers it is not an excuse tho. These kind of parents are still awful
@@JL_hahaha0303 And this is why most of asia is a hell hole while many populations are facing a hard crash, there is a reason so many of us run to the west but almost no one want to move to asia.
I'm not even Asian, nor white, but this hit so hard, a very deep nerve. I feel like this is a universal theme in America with non-white kids looking on with longing to how white kids are raised. For a period of time, we wish we could be white. It's like an indescribable freedom.
I am white and I promise you that if I ever committed a felony the cops would never be able to find my body because of mom
never felt that, i mean im not rly happy with my dad but at the same time im happy i didn't grow up with total western hedonism filth
@@himlolo what was your mechanism to cope with your parent's sternness?
There's a downside to every culture's parenting. Because we're not white, we over-emphasize the positive side. Ppl always do this, when something isn't ours, we see all that's good with what we don't have. When we have something, we see all the hardships we have to deal with. What we can rly do to be happy is being grateful for what we have instead, because trust me there's more than meets the eye about white families. I had a white friend who was beaten and mistreated by his uncle as a child, then the child predator stories we hear about on the news, a friend was also forced to move out and push carts for a living when he turned 18. Ofc I also have friends who grow up in loving families, one of my friends was allowed to not go to school for one year to give her self-discovery time, friends with decent parents.
I feel every culture has good and bad aspects to parenting, that's just the way it is
You don't wish to be white. You wish to be upper middle-class. Not a single well-off middle-class kid I knew was unhappy with their parents. Every single one of my friends was a minority (heavily minority populated area).
As an Asian I understand why they want their kids to be perfect, things we as kids do never satisfy them a score of 19/20 makes them question us where did you lose that 1 mark? Doing things as per what seems perfect for them is all they care but I've tried to make my point to them that I'm not perfect and I'll never be because I'm tired of hearing things and being compared to and I'm glad my parents are trying to change, it'll take some time but it'll sure happen. Thanks for this beautiful short film ❤
My parents were never like that, they are the definition of “understanding” in every level. And they are Asian too. So it totally depends on the mentality and personality of the parents.
Also my parents had never used violent punishments or any kind of punishments on me. They rather explain me if needed. And the explanations enlightens a new aspect, so why not, I can correct myself way better.
Your parents are the minority… they most likely grew up in well conditions and likely didn’t have trauma that other Asians parents that grew up in poverty and war-torn environments
@@Linaelinaeya well when i spoke about the marks i didn't direct it towards punishment it was just a way of them trying to make sure i do things right, they've always been saying do as it may seem right to you, they've allowed me for all the extracurricular activities i wanted to be a part of but it was just that i had to maintain my grades and sometimes as a kid when you balance both things well you want to hear a little appreciation, they've allowed me to even pick my major never forced their choices, already graduated from college but when i tell them about my small achievements they'd say, well that's great always stay humble don't be on cloud nine it's just the beginning 😂 kinda I'm a bit greedy like i wanna hear some praise but that's never happening so I'm just like let me do something great so that they'll have to praise me one day🤣😂 my agenda is just to make them praise me a little more
Oh this may be my all time favorite.
As children we didn't get the sacrifices our parents made and exhaustion that came with it.
I remember my Dad was never home , we had a liquor store, he worked like a dog to give a nice house ect. And sometimes he'd come home to us being brats , sorry and
Thanks Dad .
Glad for a the "happy ending" so we'll written.
Parents never being home is a form of emotional neglect (maybe even physical). Science is finding emotional/relational connection with a primary caregiver is just as critical for development as meeting basic needs. We need strong and close relationships to survive and help us define how we see ourselves and the world. Children should never feel guilt for what their parents did to keep CPS out of the picture as a bare minimum (food, clothing, stable shelter). Parents who have children are expected to sacrifice if they are not able to properly care for a child, if they do not want to do that, they should never have kids to begin with. You probably weren’t “being a brat”, you were probably experiencing attachment issues, that is common in homes like that because you weren’t receiving nurture and connection with your parent. Look up research studies, there’s a ton of information and studies about attachment and childhood “behavioral issues”. I’m sorry for what you went through as a child!
@@kellyanna94 Life is not black and white where every parents has to meet society's expectation towards a good parenting. There are so many circumstances that leads to parents not doing everything they can to raise a child properly. The intention of the father in the story is good but his ways are of typical in an asian household, which in the eyes of the modern world, is abuse.
I know that this kind of videos triggers american's and woke people alike since they treat scolding as a form of child abuse even when the children is 100% at fault. But you need to realize that as innocent as the kid in the story is shown, misdemeanor is something asian people don't like and we get punish because of it all the time. The kid just has the basis on his friend that his condition is worse compared to his best friend, which made him do the initiative to get adopted by his friend's parents.
The disparity in social status is just one issue of the father's behavior, having to work as much as he did, while the american parents are in a much comfortable style of living that they are willing to take care of someone's kid for a few days for free.
This does not excuse the father's treatment towards the kid, but the story also shows that it's just a phase on emotional breakdown on the kid, rather than the abuse he took from his parents, as the camp scene shows that he wants his parents to be the same as the american's, not to be adopted by the american's themselves as to what he thinks is right.
The ending shows that he still very much willing to forgive his parents if they recognize their fault, as shown in the story in which the food is the way the father knows how to say sorry to his kid without telling him.
This film has got me absolutely WEEPING my eyes out. I love love love how stories of immigrant struggles are being elevated more nowadays because it's so needed. As an Asian-American first gen immigrant, the feeling of being unable to fit in and being so far from the "American Dream" is such an isolating feeling yet it's probably felt by every single POC in the States. Sharing these stories can go so far into helping us all realise that we're not alone. What a beautifully made film that packs a punch. Thank you Robin Wang, Tony Shi, and to all the incredible actors in this film.
Even though I am an African-American, I loved this film and its meaning. I think most children think that the grass is greener on the other side. I always admired the way Asian families worked together and held on to their customs and traditions. I think in every society there is a little envy of another race. Children do not realize there is good and bad in every race. If we want the grass to be greener on our side, we need to lovingly tend to it, weed, and water it, and soon someone will be envious of our grass. Thank you for this film, it was so touching.
One of the best short films I have ever seen... Great cinematography! Acting was second to none! The children were fun to watch! I'm so happy that I found Omeleto.
Heartbreaking yet hopeful. Great acting by the young man and his father in particular.
For the record and for the my deep memories and for asian son, after that dinner personally they will get right back to how they treated me and i actually tried to run away ( legit) but when they found out my dad dangled me holding my feets while my mom actually beated the crap out of my and for embarrassing the on the streets or at thier work they would slap me in the face and the worst thing about being Chinese is a different country is the racism, literally everyone will theat you like a scumbag and i felt like hell until i turned 18. My mom just kicked me out without even thinking twice
Hugs
How sad. I’m sorry you didn’t grow up feeling loved. I can’t imagine how difficult that would be.
That's terrible that everyone treated you badly because you were Chinese, I hope it's better for you now.
Each generation gets more humanitarian. Hence Turquoise.
Wow and to think I used to think that African kids go through it. You guys seem to go through it really badly.
Can I just say something though. The reason he probably snapped THERE at that place specifically was likely because he felt safe, he probably knew his parents couldn't hit him, because he was in public. His parents seem to respect his friends parents, meaning they likely would've been incredibly embarrassed by him "acting up", but despite that instead of a slap on the face, or a knuckle to the cranium, he was safe because if they're anything like my parents, IMAGE IS EVERYTHING.
The feelings after 8 minutes just felt so raw and I began to sob to the point I had to stop the video for a moment, at some point in my childhood I grew tired of being hit, of being yelled at continuously day after day as a child, he said something I always feared to, that I was tired, That I wanted to be treated as a kid not some teen that knew how to do everything, I wish I got praised for getting the highest grades in History, I WISH SOMEONE NOTICED THE MEDALS I HAVE HANGING ON MY WALL.
i also wanted to run away from the hitting and the yelling. i just didn't have the guts and the confidence of the child in the movie.
this is just a movie, in fact a lot of Chinese parents are way more blind and stubborn than this. It's as if no matter what their kids says, they feel that they are the most righteous in the house. Making home feels like a king and slave relationship. They (your parents) own your life, so you have to be useful to them once you grown up. No matter how many heart to heart talks the kids trying to do, most of the parents just brush it off as an undiscipline and ungrateful act. I'm one of those kids now grown up bitter and can't love my parents. To be real here, if the mindset of "I've (parents) suffered more, and you should be grateful that you (kids) have better life than us." Those kind of people should not have a children at all. Because it is not love. it is an immature act of revenge that you directed toward the kids.
You Chinese parents should grow up mentally, and understands what it means to be a father or mother. REMEBER! we the kids do not have a choice except to be born. WE ARE NOT YOUR PROPERTIES! if you choose to make a kids, learn to be grateful for what they are.
I really wish the reconciliation of Chinese family could be as easy and beautiful as this movie. I really do.
This is fiction. In reality, there is no reconciliation because they will never change, they're not sorry, and nothing will ever make me not hate them.
the child actors were amazing. this story is very realistic unlike some films depicting stereotypical asian burden.
I've lived my entire life knowing my parents loved me(I think) but I've never heard them say that they do. This hits home, hard.
Now a grown man, I do not know how to say I love you to anyone except to show it through my actions.
I don't know if this has ruined me but I know I'm forever yearning to hear these 3 little words.
I'm guilty of going to bed with people when they use these 3 words on me. That is bad. And usually these people are long gone by the time the weekend is over. FML.
I’m so sorry to hear that..
Maybe you should seek therapy, I promise it gets better
@@ZzzoneOut I'm actually seeing one soon. Hope something good comes out of it... TQ for the advice. Appreciate it.😊🙏🏻
@@itsthatsem you’re welcome :)
Good luck!
Hang in there! You seem reflective enough, aware of your issues. With perspective, you will make it thru but just dont give up and settle. Love is how we're supposed to feel security and confidence for living. We feel the forever-committment of it and we rest on it and it gives us strength. God loves this way. You'll make it if you seek that kind of love!
@@mhzprayer Whoever you are, thank you for taking the time to type these words. You can't imagine how much it means to me. Thank you once again. So so much.💙
Such a great movie! Everyone did so well, especially this Asian boy. It is actually his first debut. He had no prior acting experience, but he did exceptionally well on his first movie acting! Congratulations! 🎉
100% relatable as an Indian. Very very relatable. Our parents' way of showing love is also by giving food. ❤
Thank you, this was beyond amazing.
I loved this because... Chinese isn't the only culture this happened with. There are many cultures that brought harsh parenting practices to America. Maybe it worked in the old world but it didn't work in the new. It took too many parents too long to realize their mistakes. And sometimes their kids felt unloved.
Most of the immigrants were poor. It's more about poor people resorting to violence, not a difference between cultures.
As a Asian always wanted a white parents bc all those beating and yelling coldness didn't help me growing up as a sensitive child . I still have trauma and I don't know to forgive them or love them or move on or leave them.
❤
You don't have to forgive them if you don't want to
They were adults then,and they're adults now. It's up to them to own up to what they willingly did
Same I was beaten too went to school with no other asian americans
On TV when white characters call their moms "mother", it usually is that the mom is very strict.
I'd recommend "Khun Chai" to reflect on Chinese parents' way of showing love.
You don't know how many times I wanted to be like my friends being white when I was young. Able to have sleepover and freedom to do whatever you want. But being 1st generation and 1st born in America. I wasn't allowed to be a normal American kid. Help out at restaurant during weekend while all your friends are having fun. Good grades are must. Get in a good college is the must. Now I'm an adult and both of my parents are gone. I realized how much they had to give up, so I can have a great future.
I’m 39 year old, only son to two hardworking Asian parents in Belgium. I had all opportunities to have a good childhood, and I have stable income now (I’m an MD). But after all these years, I think they still see me as Wei-Lai. And they always will. Thank you Robin and the entire crew for this poignant mirror into my own life.
honesty, coming from a chinese household myself, i only learned how my parents expressed their love when i was much older and became aware of their actions. keeping me fed, keeping a roof over my head, looking out for me, although came down with tough love, i still had two loving parents which i was lucky to have. even more so when many of my friends literally have single parents or abusive parents, i failed to realise how lucky i was. although i wouldnt agree with my own parent's parenting, i realised they were raised in even worse conditions and this was what they felt was right. very thankful for my parents still for raising me into a decent person. the food scene made me tear up
edit: also my extremely unaffectionate(except towards my mom) and unemotional dad had kissed my sister on the head for the first time on her wedding day. while prompted by the photographer however. it was crazy to see. maybe he will kiss my head on my wedding day XD :")
Brought some tears.
I love the use of pink and blue in the movie and the end to cherish the iconic way of saying I love you in every Asian household....being born brown, it's pretty much the same .....I love my parenrs to death but I do hope certain things change for the better in the future. It still amazes me how Asian adults end up being more loyal to their parents in their old age despite trauma, to fulfill their duty and in the name of an emotional bond that was never outwardly expressed. This film made me cry a bit ....I loved it so much
At the end I was tearing up, this hit too close to home. So many times I would wish to be raised like white kids and as a kid I would even tell my parents why can’t I be raised like them straight up to their face. They joked about me being adopted by someone else and I said I would like to. Looking back I’m sure hearing the stuff I said has broken their hearts. Also looking back, I understand why they did what they did, and that’s because they truly truly truly care about me. I love both of them so so much now. Thank you for making this short film, it really does encapsulate this feeling!
Laughed and also shed a tear. Such a creative depiction of how to handle family differences. The new generation needs to be heard and seen. We can't only be tools for abuse. Peace and blessings.
I can feel it. Having strict parents is hard sometimes, when you love them
This made me cry because it's so relatable. I never receive any type of love from my strict abusive Asian parents but only from my teachers and foster mother.
How Asian parents say sorry: Are you hungry?
Totally loved it. A really great piece - story, themes, performances. I don't think I have ever seen friendship between two boys so well depicted, like friends and brothers but mature in its own way.
Flat out sobbed to this. It reminds me a lot of my parents, who no matter how much they say they care don’t seem to show it. I’ve always doubted that they loved me at all for most of my childhood, and I still do all the time. They don’t hit me anymore due to run ins with CPS and stuff, but they’re still quite distant and unwilling to understand me and learn going forwards. I know (I think) they care about me, but it’d be awesome if I actually felt like it.
Remember parents, if you treat your kids like dirt when they are little, then you will be treated like dirt when you are old and frail.
That was so crisp and clean. Steeped in the particular, but surprisingly universal.
Not making light of any of the obvious bad things, but this kid gives a whole new meaning to taking the initiative 😂
Goddamn I started tearing up at 8:45 cuz that’s how it really felt like. Even now as an adult I don’t exactly know what love is. I had more of a toxic and abusive household though, not just strict. This short film captures the emotions of everyone so well, thank you.
What people need sometimes is just space to think and reflect on what they are doing. These parents were so busy working they did not have that. They reproduced what they knew beause it was also a way to save time and energy, and because they thought it works. I hope life gets better for Wei Lai afterwards. As somebody below wrote: more generational trauma, but at some point, it must stop.
@@Kenya1984 Yes, what is the point of having money and feel miserable ? I would rather the poor and happy.
@@lydiat5819 I understand the sentiment, but as in everything, balance is best ... so maybe well off and mostly happy???
lol ...
As an Indian i can relate this most
To hit is to cause pain. There is no lesson in pain.
So if a child touches a hot stove....there is no lesson?
@@queencrissymarie2890 if a parent uses violence then a child will grow to be violent. If an adult hits another adult person they are charged with a crime. Yet adults can hit the smallest and weakest humans. Tragic.
@@queencrissymarie2890 the stove does not set out to harm a child. You learn not to touch the stove when it burns. When a person hits a person you learn to fear that person.
@@therealJamieJoy
Hmm…I feel really conflicted here. I’m not a violent person, and abhor violence. When I was little, we used to get a smack on the bottom if we were really naughty. It didn’t turn me into a violent adult. I think children need to learn that their actions to have consequences. Strong violence against children (or anyone) is of course wrong.
The problem is not the violence or the hitting. The problem is not explaining why what you did was wrong. The kid explained exactly what he felt. The parents didn't explain that they were simply way too busy trying to make ends meet to put food on the table. They had very different priorities & areas of focus. And that's natural. Kids don't know the same things that adults do. They don't fear the same things like starvation or death or disease because they don't know those things. It's the parents' job to teach them that. Or involve someone else who can like a grandparent, another relative or a teacher. That's why governments have welfare programs & creches & public healthcare & education. Takes a village to raise a child.
This is so beautifully written and the execution by the cast was top notch! I live apart from my family and we don't call each other everyday but show our love by sharing what we ate for each meal. The old 'Have you eaten?' is most Asian families' 'I love you' so thank you for portraying this in this heartwarming 13 minute clip. :)
Thank you so much for this ❤️ the author had such a great story to tell.
Also rlly sad how the best friend just left with his family and looked at Wei lai with negative and judging tones
Lastly hitting kids obviously isn’t okay but this sheds light on he cultural differences between traditional Chinese and modern American families. And not all Chinese families are like this of course, because this is just one story out of the milllions of millions of stories that haven’t been told yet
@@AmoebaInkthx for being there for her ❤
This made me cry so much.. my Chinese mother always says that her only responsibility is to give me food and shelter and that I should cook and clean the house for myself and live a separate life from her if I didn’t want to be kicked out… she always hit me and once threatened to kill me. I once ran away to CPS after arguing and being hit by her and she constantly reminds me of it and how much money she spent on lawyer fees. I don’t know if I can ever forgive her and it seems pretty clear right now that she will never apologize and still believes what she did was the right thing. This really made me emotional, thanks for this.
So sorry. She apparently was broken badly. I have a daughter named Grace so I notice you more. May you be truly loved with committment and forever.
I feel this story is straight to the point and I love the message behind it. The child lacks love and attention from their parents in most Asian families therefore they would do anything to get their parents attention. It’s a cry for help to the child.
I can kind of relate to my situation with my own parents. I am thankful I get to live comfortably but it would be great if I can have their love and attention as well. That’s what matters to me the most
I’ll never understand how an adult of any culture resorts to beating a child with the idea that this will teach them a lesson. If you can’t come up with a better solution than hitting a child, you’re no kind of effective parent at all. Hitting is abuse, period.
I agree. However, Asian parents hit their kids and yell at them because they don’t know any other way to discipline them. It’s common in Asian households.
@@thomasnguyen6144 while true abuse is abuse sadly that's why often those kids end up disowned or killed
@@pandulce4447wait what. Many Asian kids I know got beaten and they all succeeded in college and have a good money earning job lol. The more strict the parents are, the nerdier and more introvert the kid. Parents don’t want their kids to go out partying. They want them to be developed well in academic area. Asian kids do hobbies such as playing the violin or piano, or martial arts. Their social skills aren’t that developed well, but at least they succeed in life. Though there are Asian partners who do not love their child and only use their child for fame and money. Those children end up depressed. Those parents are called tiger parents. As parents you should know the fine line between abuse and discipline. Sometimes, hitting your child lightly or threaten to hit them will do the job and will make them listen to you. But of course, still show love towards them. Or else, depression.
@@thomasnguyen6144 I wonder if there are any laws against abusing children?🤔 I wonder if there are any books written by child psychiatrists, psychologists, doctors, specialists on how to raise children? What about parenting courses?Btw, in case you truly live under a rock there are all these things & more available to ALL parents of ALL cultures & race.
@@NELSONandWIGGLES I’m sure there are. My parents used to hit me and my sisters when when we were kids. At 10, I told my mom not to hit me.
Yep. I cried. It's a longer route for some than others to recognizing that love styles are different.
This made me so emotional... well done.
Asian parents never say I love you to you.
Asian parents show their love. Asian parents show their love to you. By doing stuff for you. By cooking you food. Feeding you.
Love this.
This short story is played in real life in many Asian families. Love is never spoken, deeds matter more. Now I'm a grandfather and i say "I love you" to all my grandkids whenever I see them.
So heartfelt. What a great watch!
That was so beautiful. Particularly the ending. Wow, just wow.
Zhongyu Wang, I look forward to more of your work, your editing, pacing, cast selection, post production is exceptional.
I bawled my eyes out. That scene when he said that white people actually loved their kids hit me really hard because growing up I used to feel that way as well.
Watched several times! Love it! A 10+ mins short movie tells such a touching story! Worth watching!
Be thankful that your parents do what’s best for you🙏🏼 and may all the mothers be blessed for the Mother’s Day💕
It’s really not acceptable what Asian parents do to their kids. Scarring them both physically and mentally, making them incapable of making their own decisions in life, filling fear and the sense of not being proud of oneself for years and years. I know that our parents but beaten up by their parents, but that’s not an excuse to carry forward this practice. No wonder most Asians lose their shine during childhood, turning them into robots to always be successful and keep running the rat race. I know the intentions behind such treatment is sometimes good, but there are better ways to do this. He/she’s your child, a human, then treat them like one 😄
The Chinese parents!!!! Enough is enough!
If I wasn’t Asian
I will be allowed to be an Artist
But I am Asian and Not Allowed to be an Artist
There are more comments about physical abuse than open communication
Sad but true.
No excuse for parents beating their kids. He should have stayed with the American family.
sobbing
Just call the police and his parents will be criminally charged.
And this benefits the family how? Not everything can be solved in this way.
My parents never apologised to me because they don't feel they did anything wrong
Every time when my father was angry at my siblings and me when we didn't listen, he would said that he gave us life so he can take it away.
It’s because his parents want the little boy to grow-up to have a better life than they are, not because his parents doesn’t love him. They didn’t want him to have to struggles like they are.
He can call the CPS especially since he beat him so bad he bruised him.
Thank you for this.
I can now confirm my grandma loved me coz she fed me so much til i almost burst, even if it took me 1-1/2hrs to finish everything. Including rootbeer with raw egg.
And i can confirm my parents abhorred me coz, well, my dad didn't care, my mom fed me ONE cheap hotdog or banana with rice. And we weren't poor. The house was so big but there was zero love. Everyone just cared only about themselves. Even the food my grandma sent for me bec i was skinny & anemic, apparently my mom hid it & ate it for herself.
Now i understand when chinese say that food is their love language. Mind blown. Thank you! Yes, i teared up too. Miss my ahma & angkong.
The way that Asian parents show their love is different
나도 어릴적에 우리엄마는 분명히 계모 일거라고 확신 했었다..그러나 어느날 거울을 본 순간...절대 아니다라고 생각함.
Asian kids born in western countries and raised in west would feel unloved by their parents cus they end up comparing their life with western kids. They are confuse why their parents beat them even if they're their own kids and why the parents are so strict and why the parents are never vocal about love like western parents. However, asian kids who are born and raised in Asia understand the parents as we live in a society where almost all parents behave the same way so we only think they're doing this for our own good. They're not vocal about how much they love us but they show their love through food.
It's not only parents even for us it's difficult to say I Love you or hug to our parents and siblings. The only people we can say ILY must be our bf or gf that too via message LOL.
I grew up getting beaten in catholic school and at home for always failing in math 😢 but these day from where I am from every school has pass a regulation that no teachers should beat students.
You thinking food can make up for years and years of abuse? All the missed experiences? I don't want their food. I never did. Their food, I would not even feed to an animal.
I get this. I'm Indonesian and really proud had tough parent especially my mother. I grew up as human being with value of education
At 8:26 the dad was actually saying "if you're not Chinese what are you? Are you white? Are you black? Are you Martian, what are you?"
What a great film, very though provoking.
I had strict frugal somewhat parents but i never wanted for anything. My parents made sure what i got would last a while and not something that was in style and be out of date in six months. If i wanted a game system i had to buy it myself with my parents helping me with the money but also i had to pay them back but again i learned to apresate everything i got. and with my parents making be buy or save up for many things that i wanted i learned that i really didn't want but got another thing it help me with making sure did i really want it or need it. I also never felt unloved from them.
Wow. Lots of stereotypes.
The amount of physical and verbal abuse that I had to endure from my Asian mom growing up was unbearable. I was barely able to pull through those terrible teenage years. I was seriously depressed. It took me many many years to come to terms with the fact that my mom loves her ego more than me.
🥲
Sorry.
And they think food can make up for it?
This is how asian parents show their love tbh
So, the beatings will continue? The boy should just tolerate it? And the family and all customers are just going to accept it?
It’s not right to beat your kids, but there’s a massive generational learning curve (within the past couple of generations)… so parents can most definitely love their kids with all their hearts despite being strict and physically punishing them. It’s not easy for parents if they’ve also been brought up a certain way. This short film is powerful - the son and both parents seem to learn something here.
Such a powerful short movie it made me cry.
AW MAN. I made it until 11:30 before crying. I thought I was gonna make it. VERY similar relationship with my immigrant father.
Having grown up in a community with a large Asian community, from which came many of my friends and schoolmates, this movie really spoke to me. Also, for the record, I've always preferred blue to turquoise. 'Course, I'm not Chinese, either. But I'm just sayin'.
I love both .... lol ...
Amazing short film. It says so much. Extremely talented.
ill look later this is exciting
I love how they all shared one plate of dumplings 💙😭
seeing this really makes me question what my parents are hiding beneath, if they really do love me.
growing up as a Vietnamese American was hard and this film reminded me how unfair i felt compared to other kids, but now i realize that my parents had harsher childhood experiences
Try african parents😂
If we could give ourselves for adoption ,many parents would be parentless
The kid is wearing very white foundation on his face and it some scenes it looks obvious. How did the producers miss this one?
The white foundation is intentional. He talks about rejecting his chinese identity and wanting to become a white person.