This conversation got to me 🥹. This has been a hard week.
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- Опубликовано: 12 сен 2024
- Dad has forgotten that I’m his son many times in the past. But this time it hit a little harder. The lost connection has become harder to bridge and for the first time I can see a time coming where I am a total stranger.
Man its so hard to watch parents grow old
UTI infections so common and dehydration. Both contribute to confusion. A urine sample can show😢
@@shellylavigne5913 I agree. My own mother had a urinary tract infection while she had dementia. She had no pain, but a urine sample showed that she had the UTI. Indeed, it can cause confusion as some UTIs lead to dehydration. Diane
It’s hard for sure but aging is a gift. I lost my mom when I was 18. I’m 22 now and wish I could have seen her grow old.
Very hard indeed
@@jday1413so sorry .... I have a few friends that lost their mind too 🙏🏻🤗❤️
My 90 year old mama doesn’t recognize me as her daughter anymore. She’s always asking why “Debra” doesn’t come visit her when I’m sitting with her. The first time I realized she didn’t know me, I went home and cried. Just this week she put her hands around my face in a loving motion and said, “I love you mama “. It’s been about 7 years now since our journey with dementia started and every day is a new adventure. My 92 year old daddy takes care of her in their home. Next month they will celebrate 75 years of marriage. Your videos of you and your dad are precious. ❤️
😢God bless you 🙏
I'm so sorry
❤❤❤
That is remarkable that your 92 yr old dad is taking care of your mom..I hope he gets help and relief
Hugs💕
Dan you are the best son a man could ever ask for . Sending prayers for your Dad.
And prayers for Dan 🙏
🫂❤️🙏🏻💪Dan🇨🇦🇨🇦
Dan needs a t-shirt 'IM YOUR SON!
Oh Dan this must be so hard to see your dad go through this. He obviously was a kind man and a great dad.
@@serinawagner8480 that's an awesome idea. He can also stimulate his dad's mind by asking him to read it aloud
My 92 year old preacher Dad had dementia but never lost his spiritual ! He didn’t know who I was but he always knew God and Jesus. His last words before he died 4 weeks ago were-Thank You Jesus !
The nurse that was helping me said - That was plain enough !
Was an honor to take care of my Dad at home and watch his spiritual never change!
Beautiful testimony ,Janet ! It blessed me
Thanks for sharing .
When my dad had moderate Alzheimer's, he understood the need for repentance and prayed after me to accept Jesus as Lord . My sister and I baptized him in his pool. His spirit was tender and alert since he cried with gratefulness !
How beautiful! He is where he belongs now.
@@lindacooper3757 your testimony blessed me ! Thank you for sharing!
Praying for you as you walk this new path, grief, and all the strange facets of it.
Praise the Lord ❤
"I'm 92 ?"...and the smile and chuckle...it gets me every time...🙂
Me too😊
Same!
He never forgets Danielle....
'Never gets old (no pun intended!).
I can identify with that. I feel 16, well maybe 20 but here I am at 72 & I can't believe it. When did that happen? 😮
I'm not a doctor but I have known several people with dementia and some things I have gleaned from their family interactions are, 1. Don't ask him if he knows who you are because if he doesn't it could be upsetting to him. He will ask you if he wants know. 2. When he does ask questions, it's better if the answers to questions are "short and sweet". Long, drawn out answers can be hard to process. 3. If there are several things you have to do in a day, i.e. go for a walk, have lunch, go to the dentist, get a frosty...don't overwhelm him with all the details all at once. As much as you want your dad to know who you are, telling him repeatedly won't help the memory stick. You are doing a wonderful job caring for your dad and it's okay if he doesn't remember who you are because you know who you are to him and you know who he is to you. You can remember for him...sometimes that has to be enough.
You took the words out of my mouth. My Father passed away 3 years ago from Alzheimer’s. In the end he was rather non verbal and didn’t remember many things. But it is ok. Drilling him every morning to remember is not necessary. It is ok if they don’t understand everything. It can be peaceful for them not to have to figure everything out and not feel bad because they don’t have all the answers. It is ok.
Agreed
Thank you for relating your experience Perhaps Dan is reading too much into the present situation and it's making Ed more confused, maybe a little more patience is required
Totally agree. Don’t complicate things by trying to go into depth answers - keep it simple. Just try to reassure.
Yes very true
Same for someone with schizophrenia or mental illness
As he progresses it can be overwhelming to get so much information at once. My husband had dementia, too. You are doing the best for Ed under very difficult circumstances. Thanks for being such a good son.
Yes. When my Mom would start to spiral asking where she was and saying I want to go home..... I relied on a prayer she memorized as a child and 100% of the time, she was completely calm at the end of reciting it!!!
In those moments, we need to advocate for them, help them become grounded again by implementing whatever works. ❤
Sometimes too much info at once gets MORE CONFUSING for dementia people.
Keep it simple with less words...look at the expression on Ed's face, he's LOST.
Also best not to correct Ed when he says things that are incorrect, try changing the subject instead.
Correcting him makes him feel bad about himself, so don't do it.
He's having a Bad Day so MORE PATIENCE Less words is the KEY.
GOOD LUCK.
I absolutely agree with Agraham. Sometime less is more. Too much info can really confuse him.
@@agraham9607I think Dan does a great job with Ed and exercises tremendous patience. Much of the way he talks with Ed has more to do with family dynamics and interaction. It is very familiar to Ed and Dan always stays with it until he can close the loop in a way that brings Ed a measure of peace, then asks Ed something along the lines of "What else can I do for ya Pop?", to which Ed almost always replies "When are we gonna eat?" All is right in the Salinger household when Ed is focused on his next meal. It is his reboot. Well done Dan.
@@agraham9607 Great advice. As I watch Dan bombard Ed with information and facts, I can imagine Ed becoming more confused and / or agitated. It's understandable that Dan is trying to help comfort Ed and help him understand things, but bombarding Ed with information/facts seems to be counterproductive.
I do like how once he clears up who he is and who you are, he gets right down to business and wants to know what's for lunch
Me too. 😂
I saw this progression with my mother. One thing that helped was a photo album with simple labels of who people are... I had a page showing age progression for her, myself, her parents... I had a picture of her parents' headstone in another album for the days that she'd worry about them. I'd reassure her (it was imp. for her) that they were safe in heaven and she'd eventually see them. My point is that the long conversations trying to sort these things out were too much for both of us. The photo album was both informative and comforting-- and also could be used when I wasn't available. Additionally, you might want to put up a small grouping of labeled pix in your father's room. (Hugs to all of you... I know it's heartbreaking.)
Excellent advice.
That is a fascinating idea.
Yes and play music from their days. Whatever songs he used to listen to or his favorite bands. Music helps so much.
I created a photo book for my mom, too, just like you described. It helped sometimes.
does seem like too much....my mom is starting to lose her faculties and there is no convo she will have with me about things changing. i just dont know what im gunna do...but go around and around seems like it's irritating you more than your pop...do you see a therapist at all?
DAN GET SOMEONE TO COME IN DURING THE DAYS AND TAKE A BREAK, GET HELP AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF I am looking at you slowly deteriorating right before our eyes. You're a very good son but you should take some time out to take care of yourself, get out to the gym and enjoy life and your wife because you all look burnt out. Pop is never going to get better but just move to another stage and get worse so brace yourself. Get an Aide for a few hours for the day and try live.
Yes I had to convince my mother that she needed help with her mom. I worked in a dementia care facility and it took so many people to provide all the care the patients needed. One or two adults can't do it alone.
I have a good friend whose mom went downhill quickly, she believed she was being held by ‘strangers’ (her only daughter) and kept calling the police ‘to be rescued.’ The police actually threatened my friend, that they’d start fining her ‘if you can’t control your mother.’ It would take a cousin and my friend’s daughter to get together to help watch her mom. It was costing them all their health battling this little old lady who fought them all as her ‘kidnappers.’
Damn disease.
It gets harder at times. Try not to take it personally. My mom used to tell my dad to get that woman out of the house yet I was her first born child. Remember the past days. He can't help it.
My mom and I were extremely close. After living with us 25 yrs, she had to go in a nursing home to control her pain. Thank goodness I knew 2 of the nurses there and we went everyday for almost a year so she got good care. She started to think I was my sister, and they didn't get along and weren't close for years. She did visit a few times a week. Her attitude towards me changed and she started to be very nasty to me. I even showed her my license, but she still wouldn't believe me. It broke my heart, but she couldn't help it
Prayers pop get better...even in the end when daddy didn't know me and couldn't speak words just made sounds as if he was talking he trusted me and I could calm him down. At one point we had to try a medicine for depression, he started crying and was restless and it helped this was when he still knew me. We just do our best at points it helps to accept some things and enjoy the good times could he use hearing ads . You can tell he's an intelligent man I do see a difference in his eyes. I'm sure you're aware but in case urine infection and dehydration case problems. I bet he's always been a character ❤
This is a cruel disease for the families and especially those who are struggling to help their parent to remember that they are safe and loved and cared for. It hurts a lot Dan and you just go in your room when you can and cry it out. You’re an awesome son,don’t ever forget that. ❤❤❤❤ Even if he doesn’t know your his son,he knows your name now most times. And always knows Danielle’s name. I am so glad he isn’t combative with you. That is very hard to deal with. Praying that he never goes there.❤
Gross. Flirting. Eew.
@@catalinaortoljo2821Just shut up !!
It’s ok- meet him where he is ❤. My mom thinks I’m 8, and I am a family member , my aunty. I leave it at that and smile because I know who I am. The time together means more than the time I spent explaining. Blessings to you both.
Thank you Dan for your patience with Grandpa Ed. I know it hurts to see him like this in these moments but your cup will continue to overflow with blessings because you’re an amazing man and son to your father!❤️❤️🙏🙏 0:04
Amen 🙏🏼 ❤
Patience? He constantly reminds him of what he doesn’t remember & focuses on himself far too much. I’ve been a caregiver for years & have studied how to deal with dementia patients. “I’m your son, Dan!” Repeatedly doesn’t help!
My grandfather ask me once who in the hell are you. I said I’m your grandson. He said where’s your wife. I said I’m not married. He said boy u better get u a wife. So I did. Lol😂. God bless y’all.
May Jesus bless the Salinger family, and the same to you reading this.
Amen !🙏🙏
Umm
Are you new here?
They don't believe in God
You also. Thank you 😊
@@cynthiabarnhill4204it’s never too late🙏🏻✝️As long as we’re alive.
@@cynthiabarnhill4204there is still time as long as we’re alive ✝️🙏🏻
That wasn’t flirting. That’s a man of his generation being friendly.
Sorry that you’re going through this Dan. My mom lived with us for 9 years prior to her passing. She never got to the point where she didn’t know who I was, however her anger and lack of conversation broke my heart. She wasn’t the same mama I grew up with. She was a great mom and I have those great memories to hold onto.
I feel for you. My mum suffered for four years and in the end she didn't know who I was or who and where she was.
My mom too! She lived with us for 25 yrs.
@@EsterHorbach-it9tb 😞
@@EsterHorbach-it9tb I’m so sorry.
@@susanlewis9351 I think it’s great that you had the heart to care for her for so many years. Caring for elderly parents is very difficult physically and mentally. At least it was for me, by God’s grace we managed.
Don’t feel bad. My mom just passed from Alzheimer’s dementia and I can tell you from experience this is part of it. They revert to when they were younger and he will start talking more about his parents and will ask to go home thinking his parents are waiting on him.
Poor Pop , having a bad week , Dan do you think he could have a bladder infection ? or sadly could just be a natural decline . Your doing Great Dan xxx hugs to you all xx
UTIs really mess with older people. A real possibility. He sounds a lot more foggy. 🤔
Yes, UTI's definitely can cause confusion in the elderly , even if they don't have dementia. And if they do, it can really kick the confusion up into a whole new level. It's important to always be aware of an elderly person's urinary tract health.
Yup, and dehydration, with my mother I picked up on it and would get her to the hospital. I got so good at catching it the doctor complemented me on catching it so early.
And dehydration is so common in facilities for elderly @@Pisti846
@@marywellnitz8744 This is true. Happened to my 88 year old father who did not have dementia.😢
You're doing great. He's deteriorating yet you keep doing an amazing job. My mom has dementia and Alzheimer's and these videos are helpful. I also feel less alone in this crazy journey.
I know it can be very disheartening and frustrating, Dan. However, you guys are doing a wonderful job. Watching these videos provide so much therapy themselves for so many. You are making a huge impact in the world! Be encouraged. ❤
Dan, I have been watching for only a few months, but I see a change in your dad. My husband passed very suddenly one year ago, but he had alzheimers and I thought he had between 6 months and a year more, so his passing quickly stunned me. I looked back on the pictures and his slipping was apparent in the pictures. The changes are hard to accept but that's the way it is. Stay kind and caring, wishing you two the best.❤❤❤
Oh dear Dan - you are such a wonderful son to your dad and you are doing a great job.
He's slipping 🥺
It's harder on the care giver than the patient
My mother has vascular dementia and it actually upsets me most when she tells me "my brain is not here anymore".
I'm so sorry, That's very scary 😮😢@@MamaUnscripted
Would pictures help?
Dan you a good son and it's a blessing that you take care of your dad and not have him thrown into a nursing home ...where he doesn't get enough attention or mistreated by some of these people that work in these nursing homes 😊
Remember too there r some good homes around People have to visit often and make sure their loved ones r being treats ok. Put a camera in the room once in awhile and see
Man I can’t imagine what it must be like for the vast majority of good nursing home workers who care about people to read comments like this It’s like the world has come to this conclusion that everyone who works in a nursing home is some sort of terrible person Without any evidence other than media reporting which is why obviously going to try to make everything horrible
Just like in anything There are a few bad nursing home workers and a LOT of good ones There are also really bad family members who take care of their loved ones at home
So Dan is certainly a great great great caregiver No doubt about that But there are others who are not
The stigma against assisted living facilities or nursing homes can be damaging, though. Sometimes family just can't give the care that's needed all the way to the end of life. But once they move into a facility, our job as family is not finished. It's important to spend as much time with them as you can, & make sure the staff know you're paying attention. In my mom's last days, one CNA decided she was not going to give my mom the meds that had been prescribed by hospice. The only way I knew this is that I had been sitting by my mom's bed, where she lay unconscious, for over 4 hours & no meds had come. She was getting agitated so I went to find a staff member to find out what was happening. The staff all knew me & trusted me. We were a team. That particular CNA never came back to that facility again.
😊Dan your father is so so blessed to have you as a son. And you are blessed to be his son. It is so heartwarming the way your leaning into eachother as you journey this path. And an amazing example of how to navigate the rough waters while enjoying the voyage. God Bless you all❤
Dan as a lawyer at one point, I could see respectfully a hallowed almost fearful recognition of sadness in your eyes with the apparent development. I know,if you replayed it, especially with your courtroom experience, you’d see exactly what I’m talking about. I’m with you buddy, and, I’m hopeful that your upcoming trip (I think) in NW will provide some needed relaxation and downtime to allow recognition that things are not necessarily under your control and May you feel love and acknowledgment of all you are doing for Ed. And as Ed aptly points out, “Time marches on.” Let me add; it does so with a loving and caring son and family. Thanks for allowing us to be there for part of the journey. (Ed was flirting I agree.)
This is the hardest part for family when their loved one has dementia. Because we are fully aware and can recall many many fond memories but the dementia person cannot remember who we are or cannot recall any of those memories we share, it’s upsetting for us. You’re not alone Dan, this is part of this awful disease. There is a reason it’s call the long goodbye. 😢
You have my thoughts and prayers Dan. You're an awesome son.
❤️💜
Thank you so much
Yah-Keep your head up Dan! ❤That's what my dad did-take me to go get ice cream after the dentist.smh lol❤You got this!!
Take joy in each moment you have with your dad! When the video begins, right off the bat, your dad called you by your name, that is fantastic! I noticed another person posed the question of a possible UTI. The elderly are so sensitive, everything effects them that you can't rule anything out when confusion becomes heightened; having dementia can make it tough to get other medical possibilities checked when a person is not themselves. You are a great son, and a wonderful caregiver! We will keep you, Pop, and family lifted in prayer. Always remember that embedded within your father's spirit is the memory of his family; you are imprinted on each other's souls ❤
We love you, Dan. You really are the one that has brought love, light and laughter to this harsh reality.
Most of us understand your pain. You're so freaking human. Much love and respect for you, Dan. ❤
Amen! Very well said ❤
It amazes me how he always remembers Danielle what a special bond. God bless you Dan for taking care of grandpa and bless Danielle 🙌 🙏 ❤️
I was surprised when Dr. Salinger knew who his mother is. This illness can be so cunning. Thank you for being beautiful humans Dan & Danielle! The world stands to learn so much from you.
Don't take it to heart Dan. you have given your dad so much joy and love that many elderly people sadly never have the opportunity to experience.. With the challengers your pop has .When their memory completely goes its like losing them before they have passed .The people watching care for your dad but also care for you and your big heart Dan Stay strong ❤😊
I went through all of this with my Mom and Dad for 11 years!!! I hate to tell you, but this is the natural progression and it will get worse. 😢 This is why reducing any stress at all is so critical! Nobody can loose their patience ( believe me it is near impossible) because they internalize it and it all goes toward making them insecure and anxious and then...it spirals. This is why too, activities like puzzles, books, art, coloring is so important to keep them engaged and distracted so they dont keep thinking, where am I??? Eliminating ALL unnecessary doctor visits, surgeries....it all is so upsetting and anxiety inducing even if they appear fine and, and the recovery from it takes longer.
Again, I have so much experience with this. 🙏🏻 for you all!!! I love how you always end with him being calmer. It was the hardest thing I ever did, nobody knows until you have done it!!
Aww Dan it's so sad to watch our parents get older you are fantastic with him I give you so much credit God bless you and your dad and family for 92, I Think HES DOING AMAZING!❤
Dan, my mom is Turnieng 93 this month ...She is very bad dimentia..gave birth to 11 children and does recognize none of us, at first it worried us, but we have gotten used to it .Please dont despair, its the illnes 😢
I was very upset at first with my mother's dementia. But now we just make cute videos and try to make sure she smiles. Sometimes she recognizes me, other times she thinks I'm her friend or her sister or just someone.
My father chuckled, too, when I told him I was his daughter. Later, I realized that he was thirty years back, and then for sure, I wasn't that old in his mind. I'm noticing your Dad is slurring a little bit. Blessing for all of you.
Your dad & my dad was born 6 days apart...My dads birthday is March 20th, 1932 & I lost him in 2003 & miss him so much, I was such a daddies girl....His twin brother is still here & we are very close....I love the relationship between you & your dad 💙💙
Thank you, Dan. As you are caring for your dad at old age, so shall you be cared for, too, in your old age. Amen 🙏
This touches me so deep as I’m experiencing the same with my mom and she’s only 69
🙏💜
🙏🏽🙏🏽
Oh no so sorry to hear that
So young
Sending you ❤🙏🙏
Aaaww 69! This damn disease is getting very impudent and arrogant these lately! So sorry. I'm 64 and this doesn't even make sense at all.
🙏🙏 for grandpa to be able to maintain memory. Sorry to hear you are being adversely affected due to your pops continued memory loss. you just are a wonderful man and a wonderful son and your dad is so lucky to have you and your care and your love. He may not remember right now, but trust me he will not forget you ever again when he reached the next world. He was Senior praises, and tell everyone how well you treated him and what an absolute gift you were to him throughout his trials. You will probably hear bragging going on.❤❤❤ 0:15
Thank you. It's amazing to me that he always know who Danielle is.
That's a guy thing. Lol
My mother in law had Alzheimer's. As the disease progressed, she began thinking her son (my husband) was her brother. But she never, ever forgot who I was. So it does happen. Such a sad disease. Diane
I think maybe because Danielle is Ed’s second wife’s daughter, (so she is Ed’s step daughter) he had his last son with Danielle’s mother. So Danielle & Josh are half siblings. So I think that might help him remember her. She’s been in the picture much longer than she has been married to Dan. (From my limited understanding) ❤
@@ronnie-lynn Danielle is Janice's daughter and Josh's stepsister??? I never heard that before. Not sure if I believe it. Can someone please confirm or deny this for me??
@@ronnie-lynn Danielle is Dan’s wife
Dan, you are so loving and patient with him. You deserve a metal for being kind to your dad as he is kind to you, even though he’s confused many times.
Thanks Dan. Taking care of my mom with vascular dementia and this is so helpful: your love and patience is so encouraging.
My mother also has vascular dementia. I've made this channel for her also. How long ago was she diagnosed?
Best wishes for you and family. It's a tough row to hoe. ❤
Your dad is so lovely. He's very calm and gently spoken. That's the impression I get from what you post.
I love him ❤️
Hang in there Dan!
Granpa always has the most sincere look on his face, And always says (I am 92?) the same way. The Worlds Best Grandpa.
ED IS SO GOOD AT THE DOCTORS!AND WOW HE HAS HIS OWN TEETH!🥰💜👏👍
Dan, this is the part that gets hard. Been there. I found it was helpful to tell him/her that time has passed but that he's the same Ed, and you're his best friend. It kind of alleviates the confusion he may have with the relationships between family members. ❤
Dan, you rock. You inspire me. Dear God, I pray for Ed. Please bring him the peace that surpasses our understanding. Amen.
It's a difficult journey. Full of peaks & valleys. You & Danielle are doing the best you can,every day. I still watch you,to offer support. Our family journey ended last year.😢😢DO THE BEST YOU CAN.And forgive yourselves,when need be💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝
My mom went through this with Alzheimer's. I feel your sorrow. However, he doesn't seems as bad as she did. She couldn't walk anymore was bed ridden. He's just getting a little more forgetful it seems.
Alzheimer’s and Dimentia are 2 different things
My mom didn’t know who I was but she was always delighted to see me. I think at some level she knew I was special to her but didn’t know why. I could reach her by singing songs and she always joined in and remembered all the words. If she became agitated, I’d sing and she would calm down. Sweet memories of her when she was gone.
Yes, a bladder infection will do that…..takes folks right out of their head in moments.
What's that got to do with his dementia?!?!?
@@cynthiabarnhill4204 a UTI is a very common cause of rapid mental confusion in elderly whether or not they have dementia.
You're missing another other symptoms that go with it at this moment he still just experiencing declining dementia @@marysmith5544
Yes, Absolutely. My mother got UTI, she would be ome real confused and be out of it until she was treated with antibiotics. Ask your Dr. It's true 😮😮
That is very true!
Dan, I'm so glad you have Danielle to speak with. She will be there for you to talk to and she will not only listen but understand when you express your emotions about your dad forgetting you. Your life partner is living this experience with you, thank her and tell her how much of an ally she is. You both have lots of memories made in your house where love abounds. As trying as it is you have a very loving family that love and support each other. You are all blessed.
It could be a UTI. When elderly ppl get UTI they get mixed up. G9d Blessyou all ❤❤
Also I believe Dad had general anesthesia recently and it takes longer to get those meds out of your system as we age. Blessings to you Dan!
Yes, I saw a lot of that when I worked with the elderly as a CNA. It really surprised me how much more confused my patients were when they had a UTI.
My dad gets worse with a UTI also
@@killianyinstitut is that a true fact? Like that's scary to know. I'm almost half grandpa's age and it scares me to know what you've said.
Dan, your Dad is fortunate to have family. Not everyone does. I wish there was family near me. ❤
Dan I’m a caregiver and I had to take care of my mom also you are doing a good job keep up the good work
I'm going through this with my 93 year old dad. He thinks I am three different people. His sister who passed away, way back, his mom who passed in 1961 and then me his daughter. He also thinks he lives in two different places. He thinks one house is his childhood home, and the other is his current home. He has lived in for 40 years. This is a very cruel disease. You are doing great, Dan. ❤
Prayer for your dad and you. You have to have lots of patience when caring for someone. Bless you
I love his T-shirt. ❤ I chuckled when he said “crazy” after you talked about Joanne. Your dad is the cutest 92-year-old on the planet. His smile lights up the whole room. 😀😄😁 I’m sorry that you get sad when he can’t remember you’re his son. I know that hurts. 😢
I’m so sorry that you’ve had a rough week. Please hang in there. Even if his mind doesn’t recognize you, surely his heart does. ❤
I went through this with my mom. I went to visit her (she lived with my sister). When I arrived she looked at me and said you used to stay with my girls didn’t you? I swallowed hard and said yes, I used to stay with your girls! It’s tough when they don’t recognize you. I stayed a week that trip. On my last day there she came and whispered in my ear “you know I do love you though”. I came for another visit a few months later to celebrate her 90th birthday and that trip she knew me. ❤️💕
It's a natural decline that I have seen many times in my nursing career. It's always hard on the family.
Yes. It’s been very sad to see these videos this week.
"I'm 92???" (You need t-shirts.) No matter how old Ed is, he makes me smile. I'm so glad he has family taking such good care of him.
Dan, u do such a great job with ur dad. I wish all elderly people had someone to care for them like u do for dad.❤❤
You’re doing great, Dan. Dont ever doubt yourself.
It’s so hard loosing someone who’s still here with us. 😢
Dan, I want to thank you for sharing all that you do with your father. So many of us are in various stages of this same thing with one of our parents. You are helping me deal with my father and your interactions with Ed also help me foresee what to expect as the future of this condition progresses with my Dad. Watching their memory of us fade hurts our soul and can feel like losing them before they are really gone. Just know your emotional generosity is appreciated by so many of us.❣
I’m sobbing for you, I really am. My dad’s old too with Parkinson’s , not the same thing but his mind is going, just like pops. You’re doing great Dan and Danielle. I don’t know how you manage. Keep well. Blessings from England. 🌹
I’ve been a caretaker for my mother, father in law, and husband in the their twilight years, and it is not an easy walk you are on, Dan and Danielle. Know you are doing the very best for Ed. Try not to take anything personally….even if it is hard to hear. Bless you both…and bless Ed, too. Love from Pennsylvania 💕🌷🐻😅
My mom is 83 and is having some of the same issues with memory. She doesn't see to have any issues with recollection of things decades ago, but in one conversations she'll ask me 3 or 4 times about the same thing we just talked about. It's just hard to see the change but I'm thankful she's with us. Thank you, Dan for being there and sharing the journey with your Dad with us ❤🙏🏾
Dan, you are doing a wonderful job with your dad. I do have a suggestion. Something that worked with my mom. I found at times we gave her too much information and it seemed to confuse her more so we tried to distract her to switch her thoughts. Like a light switch sometimes it worked and she was good again. Like I said I’m not telling you what to do. I’m just saying this seemed to work with mom. You are a wonderful son and so patient.
I can't imagine how hard it is to go through something like this Dan. 😢 You are a good son and you are so blessed to have each other. You should never have any regrets.
Je pense que lorsque votre papa est dans cet état, c'est à un moment où il est particulièrement fatigué. Il ne sert à rien de parler parler parler ... restez tranquilement dans la minute présente, avec votre papa ; savourez chaque seconde ... qui ne reviendra jamais. Appréciez la minute ensemble. simplement. C'est mon idée ... avec tout mon respect et mon affection pour vous et votre papa. Soyez heureux ! Vous êtes un fils exemplaire. Parfois il faut être juste ensemble et s'aimer.
I agree
❤❤❤❤❤ You're a true angel, Dan. Keep the spirit. Take breaks and get rest and relaxation. I'm sorry this I so hard. You are setting a perfect example of kindness, patience and good naturedness to the younger folks in your life. You can't beat that. ❤
Praying you and Dr. Ed through this very hard time. Much love to you all.❤
Eventually, they get to the point where they only respond to touch, holding their hands and hugging them. They forget who you are but they know that they love you. I went through this with my mom. We lost her about six months ago.
Dan, My heart breaks for you everytime he forgets you. Know that he loves you and to viewer he never looks afraid of you or anything like that😢
I was a CNA in memory care and I never truly understood the pain of not having your loved one recognize you until it happened to me. My beloved Grandmother had dementia and the last year she forgot who I was. It broke my heart so I can empathize. Hopefully he is just having a bad week.
Memory loss in a loved one is a painful journey for each and everyone….blessed you both are for the love between you and years of memories you will hold precious Dan!
You do a wonderful job with your Dad. Try not to take it personal that he forgets you are his son. He can't help it. He is blessed to have such a wonderful loving family. ❤
Be grateful for every moment because when your loved ones pass, it’s permanent. That was very difficult for me when my grandmother died. It’s hard to imagine when you still have them in the physical world. Also, don’t leave his side until he takes his last breath. I missed that with my grandmother and I felt very guilty for a long time. It’s hard to talk about, but it’s necessary for strong familial relationships because they mean so much ❤
My 91-year old father just passed away last Saturday (august 10th). He was in Hospice for the final month of his life. He did not want to go to Hospice, but it was for his own good. In Hospice they can really take care of you with pain medications and make life a little easier. He was able to get a bed that reclines (like those in hospitals). I took care of him for a few months before it was impossible and he ended up in an assisted Living Facility. In the beginning he didn't love it there, but he ended up really enjoying his stay there towards the end. The facility loved my father, let him keep his dog and the staff took her for walks and fed her, and had social events like cookouts, etc. Their was entertainment to on weekends that he liked. It was better than being stuck in his house being bored. So, the wake and funeral were this weekend and know it's only memories for here to eternity.
I remember this time with my Father. There is a corner they turn that’s painful. My heart hurts for you, Dan.
God Be with you all, especially Ed. 🙏
Dan I have the very same with my husband he has dementia since 2015. I feel for you It’s going to become worse eventually, good luck , good wishes to you and your family
Hi Dan, I too have an elderly parent, my mom, and she too suffers from dementia and alzheimer's (for about 4 years now), and I want to let you know that it doesn't get better. I'm only telling you this because I know how difficult and emotionally painful it is to see our parents get like this and not be able to snap them out of it or bring them back to reality no matter how much we try. Sometimes when I'm having a talk with my mom, she might start the conversation knowing it's me, but by the ending I could tell she thinks I'm someone else, and I just go with the flow of it. I used to do the same thing you do, trying to explain the whole thing, but in the end I would be exhausted, and she would still be just as confused. I will tell you what I have learned and has made things easier for my mom and us as well, is we try to steer the conversation elsewhere, no matter how trivial it is, it gets them thinking of something else. Sometimes I just switch the convo to some new milestone of my grandaughter and she just starts talking about that. I even show her pictures, even if she's seen them a million times and that milestone I mentioned to her happened 2 years ago, she doesn't know the difference, she forgets whatever was triggering her before, and she calms down. This might now work for you now because Ed seems to be less affected than my mom, but you could try it and see. It could just even be about the cup of coffee you have in your hand, like how this brand of coffee you like better than aother and ask hime which one he likes and so on. It doesn't always work, but 98% of the time is does. I hope this little tidbit could help you someday. You and your family are doing an amazing job caring for Ed and through each vlog we could feel the love you all have for each other. It is tough for us kids to deal with because none of us want to see our parents suffer in any way, but you will get through this and you will continue to be blessed for it. This is why you survived a heart attack, God had a bigger plan for you, and that plan was Ed.
Ed sure knows how to interact with the Ladies.
You’re doing amazing Dan.
Bless you all!
So sad hate to tell you. Downhill from now. You’ve done so well. I went thru a similar circumstance. It was hard and taxing and he passed away and I miss him still but it was so hard. I think maybe for your own sanity Dan get some nurses in to help. You need to have a break. ❤
You are a great Son.🎉🎉 This must be emotionally draining. But your doing a great job keep up the excellent work. ❤
Neurology RN here: You are providing your father great care and I know it is not easy, and the insight for the viewers is beneficial. Any time an elderly person develops confusion or increased confusion from baseline, they should have basic blood labs to check for any metabolic imbalance and a urine analysis to check for infection (elderly people may not develop classic bladder infection symptoms, fever or burning, etc.,) both issues may cause confusion. If you are not aware of it, there is a good program with the acronym DICE you can review online, with a guide to the care of people who have dementia/cognitive impairment. If his lab diagnostics are normal, but he continues to become agitated, or combative, and you cannot redirect him, you may ask about low dose quetiapine. Take care.
Dan please change the convo with your dad. You know he's got memory loss why get upset when he doesn't remember things. Talk about other subjects please.
Hi Dan, I’m learning a lot about what my family calls old timers. My parents are both 83 and both have health issues. My dad is cognitively great however my mom’s memory has been declining significantly. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. It’s been incredibly helpful to see you and your family living and dealing so compassionately with your pop. Have a wonderful weekend.
Hi Dan, your Dad loves you so much ❤️ and feels safe and comfortable with you. He might forget your name at times, but he definitely recognizes your face, and your conversations you have with your Dad always soothes his worries, and he was loving his frosty! He always ready to eat that's really good! He's blessed to have you and Danielle and your family.
Im sorry, Dan. I went thru this with my mom. Its not a fun thing but you are doing better than you realize, Dan. He is a great guy and you are blessed to be his son!❤
So sorry Dan.
I am so sorry that Pop is having such a tough week. Dan you and Family are doing the best you can. Bless you for all you do. You are a loving son. ❤
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Dan, Get your self and family ready. It comes in waves, the decline comes quick for some and others it comes then goes. I went through this with my 92 year old dad and it truly is heartbreaking. I'm sorry your having to go through this. Praying for peace for you and your little tribe.
I know how painful this must be. We went through this with my sister in law. God bless you both. ❤
I understand more than you know how you’re feeling this time. I lost my dear sweet father to Alzheimer’s two years ago and I miss him so much. Like your dad, he was the kindest, most wonderful father who literally tucked me in at night and read me bedtime stories. You are so wonderful with your dad and he is always so kind, thoughtful and adorable! Another thing I find so wonderful and amazing is no matter what, he ALWAYS knows who Danielle is, which says so much for the wonderful relationship she also has with your dad.🥰🥰🥰