Artie's Chocolate Milk Rant

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Комментарии • 105

  • @prestomatic1989
    @prestomatic1989 9 лет назад +104

    One of the greatest speeches of man kind hands down.

  • @edub9930
    @edub9930 6 месяцев назад +4

    A 45 year old man havong a meltdown over chocolate milk. Priceless

  • @shawz10
    @shawz10 10 лет назад +20

    quite possibly Artie's best bit ever.

  • @RaoulDuke77
    @RaoulDuke77 7 лет назад +41

    No one can rant like Artie, God bless ya Art.

  • @westfield90
    @westfield90 4 года назад +15

    Classic. Artie is one of the greatest storytellers out there

  • @cokacowboy
    @cokacowboy 10 лет назад +21

    Artie was totally doing a howard stern-esq bit with shitting on his employees but he actually did It it good and it was hilarious lol

    • @Doomreb
      @Doomreb 8 лет назад +1

      +Sam Bogart he did a ton of howard stuff. still liked the show cause i like artie. he didn't totally howard it up. man its sad how much different howard is now. incredible. im also glad artie doesn't have the same insecurities that howard has so we get to hear arties voice naturally, not like howard's super bass mic to make him sound so deep.

    • @JSalonsky
      @JSalonsky 7 лет назад

      This was Artie's stern show! It was soooo funnyy

  • @ephan8357
    @ephan8357 Год назад +2

    Artie walking off like he just went yard with that bit. 👏👏

  • @johnf1979
    @johnf1979 5 лет назад +12

    Oh my God I cannot express just how much I miss this show, I pray Artie finally gets better and does something similar to this. I mean at 7:57 he calls 2 attractive blonde twins scumbags for ruining his chocolate milk LMAO

  • @EddieMush
    @EddieMush 10 лет назад +12

    Jesus christ Artie, lets hit em all while we still got the muscle.

  • @destinyfet
    @destinyfet 4 года назад +5

    Direct TV should bring back the Artie Lange Show!

  • @BootlegFightVideo
    @BootlegFightVideo 4 года назад +5

    Right up there with his rant on Bob Levy trolling the Internet for naive pale girls to pretend they are into fat guys.

  • @loveydovey4u
    @loveydovey4u 10 лет назад +9

    RIP artie lange show

  • @chrisL0430
    @chrisL0430 Год назад +1

    Seriously the best moment in entertainment ever. Artie is the best story teller ever

  • @countdublevay7327
    @countdublevay7327 4 года назад +1

    If Artie would have ANYTHING resembling a wing man through this bit...

  • @SassyUnicorn86
    @SassyUnicorn86 6 лет назад +6

    Artie's having a heroin induced choccy milk craving. Don't blame
    Em

  • @josereyes1148
    @josereyes1148 5 лет назад +7

    Only a truly funny guy could talk about chocolate milk for 10 min and get me to laugh 20 times. its a shame he cant get it together.

  • @DerekOfRivia
    @DerekOfRivia 29 дней назад

    Greatness. I'm always preaching the glory of a good chocolate milk. A&E Whole Choco Milk is #1

  • @tubafats100
    @tubafats100 6 лет назад +7

    I don't know a man on Earth that hasn't had one of those 8:06 moments.

  • @gwmgbwi
    @gwmgbwi 9 лет назад +13

    I love how Artie was so critical to Richard about what constitutes a real pizza and then, when it comes to chocolate milk, "Quick" is real. Quick is as much real chocolate milk as Tang is real orange juice.

    • @Nyack101
      @Nyack101 6 лет назад +1

      Makes no sense, there is no authentic chocolate milk, no town is known as the Capital of Chocolate milk like NY is known for being the best pizza. dumb anaolgy

    • @ShintoDizzy
      @ShintoDizzy 5 лет назад

      yeah but quick tastes great

    • @manifestgtr
      @manifestgtr 6 месяцев назад

      lol wtf…I didn’t know there were chocolate milk connoisseurs out there. How you even remember that and make the connection to claim hypocrisy is completely beyond me

  • @ducksnhell
    @ducksnhell 6 лет назад

    “I’m going to slowly try to break my own neck,” spins his head while saying it is....
    Too funny

  • @cleansing413
    @cleansing413 10 лет назад +3

    this is fuxcking brilliant...

  • @tedcrilly46
    @tedcrilly46 10 лет назад +1

    Flapjack + chocolate milk.
    The food combination of the gods.

  • @optimisticoutreach1236
    @optimisticoutreach1236 3 года назад +1

    May God bless you, mattzane227, for bringing this show to us.

  • @WarTheory
    @WarTheory 5 лет назад +7

    Who’s this guy with the perfect nose?

  • @magic3383
    @magic3383 8 месяцев назад

    "It was my childhood heroin."

  • @aveortega7992
    @aveortega7992 Год назад

    I want a glass of chocolate milk now..not just any chocolate milk Artie's chocolate milk!

  • @lindamiller6472
    @lindamiller6472 5 лет назад +3

    Don't mess with a man's chocolate milk!

  • @jaeden2806
    @jaeden2806 Год назад

    Rivals Hitler.
    The twin with the long hair maaaaan goddess

  • @branzilla7833
    @branzilla7833 10 лет назад +1

    Try Darigold chocolate milk. A nice chocolate milk taste. Wholesome, not overly thick sweet consistency. Perfect for a chilled glass.

  • @destinyfet
    @destinyfet 5 лет назад

    The greatest clip ever

  • @MrGenier
    @MrGenier 11 лет назад

    Loved this...

  • @destinyfet
    @destinyfet 2 года назад

    Still the greatest moment

  • @RobbieMaynardCreates
    @RobbieMaynardCreates 5 лет назад +3

    The greatest monologue of all time.

  • @CinemaGulp
    @CinemaGulp Год назад

    I am 45 years old now and Artie looks like my father in this clip. I still love him to death though.

  • @Scrimparmy
    @Scrimparmy 3 года назад

    This is amazing

  • @chingasofarkaso
    @chingasofarkaso 7 лет назад +2

    These scumbags.
    Never change, Artie. Be healthy and happy. Thats most important.
    But don't ever change.

  • @glengofor
    @glengofor 10 лет назад

    This is awesome as ...

  • @jlotballer4449
    @jlotballer4449 10 лет назад

    great bit

  • @r3not5
    @r3not5 9 дней назад

    I wanted to see them make the chocolate milk. There was a kitchen

  • @claymationwaves
    @claymationwaves 5 лет назад

    sooooooo fine!

  • @mike54996
    @mike54996 5 месяцев назад

    I wish I could find Artie telling the story of that Apple gig he did. He got kicked out after his first joke. Does anyone remember that one? Or know where I can find it?

  • @MrRicksym
    @MrRicksym 4 года назад +8

    still on heroin here

    • @jg7102
      @jg7102 4 года назад +2

      MrRicksym no shit sherlock.

  • @bigbuffguy23
    @bigbuffguy23 8 лет назад +8

    I can see how Kinison has influenced Artie

  • @mead_wiki
    @mead_wiki 10 лет назад +4

    best heroin ever?

  • @Foxbat1155
    @Foxbat1155 5 лет назад

    Best video on youtube ever

  • @michaelmendes7964
    @michaelmendes7964 10 лет назад

    funny guy...... you get a Howard Stern feel out of this bit

  • @nyspawn9332
    @nyspawn9332 Год назад

    Wow his sisters are gorgeous

  • @webeewatchin1977
    @webeewatchin1977 Год назад

    "Chawclate milk"

  • @kevinc1968
    @kevinc1968 5 лет назад +1

    drinking a chocolate milk as i listen

    • @ABCDuwachui
      @ABCDuwachui 6 дней назад

      Was that the last time you had it? Five years ago?

  • @CarlosCruz-ll5ez
    @CarlosCruz-ll5ez 9 лет назад +4

    Artie looks more like 65 here This is what drug addiction does to you. So sad.

    • @DerekOfRivia
      @DerekOfRivia 29 дней назад

      65? Have you seen 65 year olds? At most he looks like a good 55 here.

  • @randomviewmonitor
    @randomviewmonitor 11 лет назад

    That was funny!

  • @piratesfan1995able
    @piratesfan1995able Год назад

    Jesus christ he's 45 here lol

  • @1919tompowers
    @1919tompowers 10 лет назад +1

    That girl on the left looks like a blond version of the chick from Indiana Jones and the lost ark.

  • @joker167able
    @joker167able 5 лет назад

    He told them!

  • @shellbacksclub
    @shellbacksclub 4 года назад

    Nestle's Quik is the worst type of chocolate milk! Really did have a sad childhood!

  • @louskuntz819
    @louskuntz819 Год назад

    The twins are honestly failures on this show

  • @brainphelps1994
    @brainphelps1994 3 года назад

    artie's impression of the twins was funnier'n sht

  • @destinyfet
    @destinyfet 4 года назад +1

    Finest moment in TV

  • @SojournItaly
    @SojournItaly 5 лет назад

    Unreal. What an incredible talent.

  • @grantking9353
    @grantking9353 6 лет назад

    Best

  • @chrysopylaedesign
    @chrysopylaedesign Год назад

    Pure Genius. Oh, I miss Artie.

  • @thomaswita1001
    @thomaswita1001 6 лет назад

    God he's funny 1 of the best

  • @noahschmartz2354
    @noahschmartz2354 4 года назад +1

    A performance of Shakespearean magnitude.

  • @PatrickBateman1987
    @PatrickBateman1987 7 лет назад

    Artie had two oedipal parents.

  • @white6delta
    @white6delta Год назад

    "I dont have herion anymore". Yes ya did art lol. He even nodded out on one of these shows lol. Im hoping he's doing well these days.

  • @albycoppola737
    @albycoppola737 7 лет назад +1

    what are these 2 girls functions on the show?

    • @MrElephantBeach
      @MrElephantBeach 7 лет назад

      Alby Coppola They were production assistants. Basically did odd jobs.

  • @jasperbooth6383
    @jasperbooth6383 5 лет назад

    I didnt know he was diabetic, all that alcohol must be painful

  • @thebrassmonkey100
    @thebrassmonkey100 10 лет назад +3

    notice him itching himself the whole time, there are a few videos on here about him being good and high all the way from two years ago, a year ago 6 months ago and even 3 months ago, once a millionaire addict,always a millionaire addict, and trust me, it takes one to know one!

    • @DerekOfRivia
      @DerekOfRivia 29 дней назад

      Who cares though? Apparently no one as I'm the only reply.

  • @manwhodrinksbeer
    @manwhodrinksbeer 6 лет назад +1

    BTW, for people who haven’t experienced the ol H, he’s on it, it’s that nice euphoric period right after u take it, when everything and everyone is beautiful. U get very small pupils from it, that’s why many people can’t tell. One gets a raspy voice. Just saying, love art, watched this high when it aired. salud!

  • @scottxavier
    @scottxavier 5 лет назад +1

    They pushed him back into the arms of heroine

  • @zachjohnson637
    @zachjohnson637 7 лет назад +1

    Nesquick is awful.

  • @mattyboyanderson
    @mattyboyanderson 5 лет назад

    Bosco

  • @enlightenme4194
    @enlightenme4194 7 лет назад +4

    man this artie is awkward and forced wow

  • @PlutoTheGod
    @PlutoTheGod 5 лет назад +4

    Slowly, women will ruin everything you’ve ever loved.

  • @bobski36
    @bobski36 19 дней назад +1

    Trying way too hard...

  • @mrwritestuff1
    @mrwritestuff1 4 года назад +1

    Is he 7 years old? I’ve never heard an adult whine so much about chocolate milk.

    • @DerekOfRivia
      @DerekOfRivia 29 дней назад

      Rather act like a 7 year old than be a qu€€r. Going off of your page, you love male genitalia.