After The Narcissist - Journal Entry Community Member Analysis
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- Опубликовано: 11 сен 2024
- The significance of sharing our experiences of healing and recovery post a relationship with a covert narcissist cannot be underestimated. Narcissists try to gaslight their targets into believing that they are the problem and uniquely crazy as an individual. Understanding what happens to each of us (after the narcissist) as a shared experience can alleviate that crushing deception that the experience is unique and we alone are the problem. Basically, you are not alone and there is a lot of light to be discovered at the other side of the narcissistic experience.
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Exactly been alone is heaven compared to the life you have in a relationship with a narcissist.
It is absolutely heaven, isn't it??!!? It's been years since I left and I STILL get teary-eyed appreciating the absolute PEACE that I have living without him. 😊
When I get up each morning I thank God for another day & that the narc is OUT of my life forever! It's been 4 yrs & I've never looked back!
Very lonely and isolated with no close friends anymore but I agree. Not being abused everyday along with a peaceful life seem priceless!
Of course we can diagnose a narcissist! Once you are educated on the behavior patterns and underlying motivation, it is shockingly a cookie-cutter condition. I have found that aspect astounding - how all of us that follow you, Paula, have the same experience. We are from all over the world, male/female, older/younger.
Yes yes yes
You are so 100% right! That's exactly how it is- shocking but unfortunately true!
You have saved my life and sanity 37 years of abuse god bless you
🌹🌹
While it can be very hard to move forward after relationships with the more sociopathic and overtly harmful narcissists, the pernicious covert can do incredible physical damage without even laying a finger on you. These subtle abusers should not be minimized. I've also had several decades-old close friendships I've had to let go in the past month. Thank you for sharing, thank you for the video.
I share that experience of having to let go of those who cannot support us and don't believe us.
the covert is much more harmful than overt in some aspects
Great video Paula
I find it crazy how all narcassists seem to work from the same handbook,this is exactly how it was with my situation!
I'm out of it a year and 7 months, and I still watch all narcassitic topics, as it gives me my closure,
I knew the journey would be tough and am nw finally accepting what I went through!
I find it difficult to speak to anyone about it as you just get raised eyebrows, and disbelief, especially being a man your told to get over it, and just move on!
I did for along time blame myself for having low esteem,
I realise nw I loved the female narcassist, unfortunately for me I picked a covert narcassist!
We all make mistakes, this was mine!
I'm educating myself everyday, thank you Paula for giving me my life back!
Yes! I've said the same thing - that they must all read the same book!!!!! I think the behavior is so consistently the same because it comes from the same author - Satan himself. I'm thoroughly convinced of that.
Whoever the author is they are toxic and abusive...
It's a lesson I will never forget👍
Keep up the good work. You must rebuild and reframe your thinking about your self worth. You must KNOW you DESERVE to BE LOVED - TREATED w/ RESPECT - and that THERE ARE TRICKSTER MEANIE USERS Out There That Look For A Kind Hearted Available Person To Hook Into Through Appearing To ATTACH - - But they are not Attached - they let YOU ATTACH. That is not your fault. It is scary and hard to trust others - - but NOW YOU CAN TRUST YOURSELF - - To Be Cautious and Ensure You Are Treated With REAL CARE by the Next Person You Chose To Let In So Closely. Best Regards
Unfortunately for me my mother is a narcassist,
So always had a low esteem cos of her!
But I'm alot stronger in my outlook in life since miss narcassist was on the scene!thank you for your message!
Beautifully said! It's really crazy how they follow all the same pattern of terrible behavior! Scary!
I'm out also about 1 year 6 month, brutally discarded ( but it was me doing the final discard eventually....) but it doesn't matter at the end, still very painful.
I'm getting better and I'm grateful I had so much help and support from family and friends.
Me too still watching videos about NPD ( in particular those from Paula, I absolutely find her to be a genius, amazing and such a good headed person. Her incredible wisdom and knowledge just helps me so much! Sometimes I think I'm obsessed that I still need to watch and hear what I already know but I'm ok with it- I know it's an important part of the healing process.
Wishing you all the best- we are heading towards a better life, slowly but surely, no doubt about that.
Greetings from Germany!
My ex narcissist boyfriend was worse than my ex husband. That's saying a lot because they were both abusive. They are horrible people. Amen. God will prevail.
For an autistic person, this is even more true : no friend at all... and a big large avenue for narcissists. and after them... no one again and probably for ever... It's takes even more courage than for a "neurotypical" person.
I have aspergers syndrome myself and those on the autistic spectrum are prime targets for narcissists. They exploit our naivety and empathy which is higher than neurotypicals.
@@stuarttacey me too, with a high IQ... which doesn't really help either at first. But after, like neurotypicals, when you know... you know.
Hi Paula!! I love how Remy lounges on the couch.. he's a smooth pooch!
Having no one to critique you, having no one to tell you what to wear, how to speak, to whom to speak, what to think, when to sleep, when to wake, what to eat, when to eat…what do you call that ? Loneliness…..I call it freedom and peace, thank heavens for it.
Here is the full quote by Judith Herman:
“In order to escape accountability for his crimes, the perpetrator does everything in his power to promote forgetting. Secrecy and silence are the perpetrator’s first line of defense. If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure that no one listens. To this end, he marshals an impressive array of arguments, from the most blatant denial to the most sophisticated and elegant rationalization. After every atrocity one can expect to hear the same predictable apologies: it never happened; the victim lies; the victim exaggerates; the victim brought it upon herself; and in any case it is time to forget the past and move on. The more powerful the perpetrator, the greater is his prerogative to name and define reality, and the more completely his arguments prevail.”
― Judith Lewis Herman, Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence - From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror
"Get out stay out."
Thank you Paula.
You are doing such a wonderful job helping those of us who've gone through such a devastating relationship with a narcissist. Thank you so much. 😊I left a 24-year marriage to now be struggling with CPTSD. In my healing I've come to the place of wondering WHY did he feel the need to destroy the person who LOVED him? I don't think it's a "disorder." I think it's literally demonic.
Absolutely it's demonic.
Yes it's the Jezabel spirit!! Utterly demonic. I got told this by an apostle when I was going through the discard phase from a hideously abusive Narc relationship. I just typed in Jezabel spirit vs narcissism. Mind blowing what I discovered. 2mths of no contact and in swoops another one!! 🤯 This one was an aware Narc as he played all the right cards. Also on a no contact regime with am ex who was a Narc. 😏 Took less than 2 weeks for me to figure it out while he was discarding me. So grateful to the community in the comments section. Makes you feel less stupid, misunderstood etc .... because it's here you don't get questioned on why you didn't notice the spell being cast over you. It's insidious.
Destroying a person who loves you is evil. I think one of the hardest things to deal with after one of these relationships, is that we encountered evil disguised as goodness. But their true nature always comes out. They're rotten to the core.
Thank you Paula for reading that journal entry to us, it is so true I'm every sense of what he's been through. It's so true to say only the people who have experienced this auful relationship can truly understand the pain and suffering it causes to us. I am a survivor of a covert narcissist relationship, married for 20 years and cruelly discarded after my father's funeral. They truly do pick the worst moments in your life to discard you. I'm currently still going through a divorce 3 years in, it's a horrendous experience and wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. 😔 Keeping strong thankfully I have friends and family around me to help get me through this. Love this community as we all understand what each if us have been through xxx
I just wanted to share with you that I have been out of my 25 year marriage many years now. I was in and out of court for almost 8 years. We have to remember that the narcissist never loses. I had to start thinking like him. It saved me alot of time and money. If I can make a suggestion, go right to court. Stop the letters from lawyer to lawyer, they are in their business to make money,sometimes at our expense. All the best, stay strong.
God Bless you Paula for all the help that you give to so many people.
I have talked to several about my experience with a narc at 65 had never heard of one or red flags 🚩 or walls my first wife was married 34 1/2 years she passed from cancer,my second wife married 8 1/2 years she passed one day after brain surgery both angels ,Then I married my third wife thinking it was forever but she was a narcissist put me thru hell only lasted 1 year , I left broken slowly putting my life back together after being suicidal,Thank you Paula for giving all the information on narcissist , you saved me .Jeff
When I was in such a dark place, living with the ex narc parasite sucking me dry - I was exhausted but I decided one day to create a meet up group, from a casual FB group. I didn’t know the area so was isolated (as the narc loves!) and NEEDED to get out of the toxic house and thought meeting new people would be good for me. Well I had no idea how uplifting that was going to be.
8 strangers turned up to the meet and greet I created and that small crowd was intimate enough for us all to be able to talk as one table. I left that evening totally bonded to every single person and I felt so much love in my heart.
It was SO GOOD to be around positive energies, to feel love and light around me. From a casual meeting I developed deep friendships with a couple of those people. Of course my ex narc wanted to go with me that night and I said no. She was discreetly fuming…but she would have messed the whole night up with her toxicity.
In any case I realised that the majority of people are kind people, and no matter their background, nationality, age, etc, we are all connected by our shared humanity, by our trials and pain in life, and by the love that each of us carry as divine beings.
Casual meetings can lead to deep friendships with kind souls. I encourage everyone to join or create a group. If you don’t like those people, then go to or create another one ❤
Your dog uses a pillow. This pleases me.
Thank you so much for sharing this video. It is so powerful. This resonates with me in many ways. My ex narc was also physically abusive , he would spit in my face, call me vile names, cheated on me with men and women. He stole from me, threatened to kill me, threatened to burn down my mums house. I couldn’t leave because I feared he would do all of these things. I couldn’t even have family photos on display in MY home. It was like a concentration camp. Well I prayed for a miracle and a miracle happened. He assaulted some elderly people so is on the run from the police. He can never come back now which is such a blessing. I just cannot understand why I stayed so long. I could paper the walls with barring orders from Dolphin house. He breached them all but no consequences. It’s tragic. Again I thank you 🙏
Thank you so much Paula for this video. I left my narc 4months ago after a 37year marriage. The journal entry you read out from that lovely person was so helpful to hear because it sounded so similar to my experience being married to a narc. It was so good to hear everything that you said about these relationships and how hard it is to explain to others about what you have been through. Other people just don't get it and all the nuances of your particular situation. I don't feel so alone now that I have found your channel. I know it's early days for me but I already feel so much better and I know I will continue to improve as time goes on.
Yes! This channel is a godsend for recovering and knowing you are not alone, and not crazy. Especially when no one else seems to really understand other than those who have been through it.
Thank you Paula for all you do! You are an amazing woman
I was able to completely shield myself energetically from the narcissists once I acknowledged and accepted how evil she was. Something ”clicked” in me spiritually when I decided I ”had enough”. I truly believe we all have an innate spiritual defence against these things, but that a lot of people remain stuck because the focus is on avoidance rather than acknowledging how bad narcissim is. Maybe we have different capacities in this sense, and maybe it depends on how much inner work we have done prior to meeting the narcissist. I at least know from experience that it is possible to go from being in a narcissists grip, to being in the same room as completely relaxed and seeing them cower in a corner.
Hi Paula Wow! What an Empathetic Super Star! 30 years of unconditional love, forgiveness, understanding, tolerance, and probably a great amount of patience.. It's a shame that her partner didn't or wouldn't see what was standing right in front of her...Such a strong light and teacher of unconditional love, I wish her all the good things and hope although mixed feelings can be had after 30 years, the light needed to endure can only be seen as a phenomenal effort in loving someone... I don't know if it is the same for all Empaths but being alone and not having many close friends sounds normal for me.. I think after a long stint with a narc just leaves you feeling more alone than normal... Something to do with what they do to us..and that takes time...Good luck lovely empath Namaste...☮️
Adding to the grief over such devastating betrayal is the utter failure of many therapists to understand what we are living with. Most recently, when I tried to explain my situation to a narrative therapist she pointed out that "there are many layers to a story." "People are multi-dimensional." "That's just one side of him." It felt as if she was saying "not everyone sees the darkness you see so perhaps you need to look at the way you see your world."
Others have said, "He does a lot of good things in the community." "He is a community leader." and worst of all, "Please don't ever write to me again about your experience with him. He is a long and dear friend of mine. I am taking his side."
At the same time that we are seemingly being gaslit by everyone, the narc says, "Your are lucky you have me." "Look at all the people who love me." "I have so many friends." "Your wrong about me." "You just don't get me."
I wanted to share a beautiful Judith Herman quote from her book Trauma and Recovery: “In order to escape accountability for his crimes, the perpetrator does everything in his power to promote forgetting. If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure no one listens.”
― Judith Lewis Herman, Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence - From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror
Very true. They experiense cognitive dissonance as well. They know they do bad, so in order to feel better they and to keep themselves together they involve other people with smear campaigns… if others talk and think bad of you, they think they were right. Its complicated. But believe in yourself!
In between the tears and actual laughter.
I keep hearing the song, “It’s the final countdown”, from Swedish band Europe.😂
Except I hear in my head, “It’s the final discard”.😂
Thanks for all the great videos ❤
We let them drive a Ferrari ( ourselves) and they crashed it. They deserve a Lada!!!! So, be careful who will be the next driver... Thank you Paula ❣️ from the bottom of my heart ❤️ ❤❤
Eeeek! This past weekend, I just had a super strange experience/phone call with an old friend and was horrified how it went in several different ways and realized I was right to unfriend him many years ago, and all of a sudden after the call and I recovered...kinda, it seemed as though I was literally illuminated (the word that came to me), and saw EVERYTHING so Clearly it was shocking! Like the Rubics cube all lined up, and I got to see the colors all so clear, like a finished puzzle picture. And then, I realized another friend had the same behaviors with me over the decades and felt like the confusion was so clear again. It was such a strong awareness that hit me like a huge something I can't describe. I felt so grateful for this horrible conversation, because it stung but it felt like a giant gift from the universe to have this bad phone call experience, because all this information of truth, of how that friend and the other I had to finally get out of my life, several times, I felt so justified. I also felt bad feelings that I allowed this from this friend and the other. OMG!!!!!! I always had messed up boyfriends but also friends with bad behavior and using me for different reasons. I am so grateful to come across this video today, because the timing is so validating. I feel so glad but also nauseated....LOL!....I used to give a friend 5 hours on the phone over and over, giving and giving emotional support for her nonsense, but I was not allowed to even say 5 seconds of the hell life I'm going thru without getting shut down.. And her life was pure heaven in every way compared to mine. OMG! I'm going on and on, but so many details that are going thru my mind about those two people and other friends too. Wow!!! It's really sickening. I am painfully empathetic and consider myself very intuitive and even psychic, and pretty smart about critical thinking, but yet I have been so bamboozled and used and abused, and no wonder it always felt so bad but for the seemingly thoughtful things done for me, and the love bombing, which I don't like cause I sometimes can tell how it's not genuine, but manipulative to get me back talking to them.. OMG! Ouchy! I feel sooooooooooo stupid I didn't REALLY realize how bad these relationships were and how I gave them the benefit over and over and over. Thank you for this video! Those kind of people are drawn to me, and maybe because all the relationships I've had were with Nacs, so I dismissed it as damaging and sick as they were. . Eeek! I'd keep giving chance after chance because of doubting my feelings.
Hi Catherine, I have the same problem. It is like many narcissists are magneticelly coming to me. It is because you have a compaassionate soul. You are beautiful the way you are. But unfortunately many bad people exploit this. Stay the way you are but stand up for yourself. If you dont respect yourself than nobody will. Sometimes you must tell to the opposite, how you wanna be treated (Maybe literally). We tend ro think that other people are good-hearted like ourselfs. Positive mirroring is not good everytime, but ever loose your genuine peace.
@@denizucar3947THANK YOU! 💝
You initially feel duped when you realise the love you thought was between you wasnt real. You start to question what part of your life with that person was even real. For me, it helped immensely to accept that MY love was real. MY happiness was real. Appreciating the things he gave me... Moving to a town I'd always wanted to live, going out more and getting to meet you new friends, visiting Norway.... Im glad for that. However, this sad, twisted, weak little man went on to find another strong woman to leach off.
I'm totally healed and only bob in on these videos occasionally now, but time is your best friend and we glow even brighter. ✨
Wishing this person a much brighter future...✨💖
Thank you for allowing Paula to tell your story it resonates so much,peace love and happiness to you 🙏
This episode was perfectly timed for me - I’m so thankful and blessed at such a terrible and painful time Thank you
🌹
God bless us all that got out, such a blessing! ❤🙏
It’s 9 months for me post discard, and it’s still very very hard every single day. I tried therapy, I have very understanding and supportive friends who are still willing to talk with me about the narcissist even after 9 months of nonstop talking about it, but Paula”s videos have been the single most important and helpful thing that has kept me going. There is so much insight there, every single thing resonates. In these videos I was able to understand the unfathomable, to get the closure I never got from the narcissist, to see the traps that he laid for me post discard and save myself from falling into them sometimes (should have rewatched some videos), to understand that there’s no hope and there was never any hope for relationship with him. Paula’s analysis, insight and ability to explain things is unparalleled and there’s no one else out there who does it so well, her angle is so true to life but at the same time so unique. And also I am incredibly inspired by her spirit and advice.
I am heartened to hear that one year is the turning point, as at 9 months I feel I haven’t made sufficient progress and haven’t moved on yet. Because it is truly hard to comprehend how someone I loved is so evil and to accept that there will be no reckoning for him.
Paula, please continue your lifesaving work, please continue to talk to us, and thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Hang in there! Sometimes it’s two steps forward, one step back. You have to get all the knots untied in your head and it takes time. It’s such an unfathomable thing we have to wade through. I’m glad you have support. Focus on the good people in your life as much as possible. But the first year or so is a hard time indeed. One day at a time. The sun will return…. God bless you. 💕
🌹🌹..keep momentum the joy will smile on you soon
Thank you for sharing important and valuable information.🙏❤️🙏💜
you can't love a narcissist, it's just an empty barrel, filling ltself up with the other's love and attention, 'selfbuilding' -what never happens- itself. By replicating the other
You just fell in love with yourself, "narcissism",.. for real.
Wow! Powerful testimony!!! Powerful insight from the journal entry of this individual and throughout the video touching on each subject! Thank you both!!! ❤️🔥 It is so encouraging, warming, and strengthening to hear the voices of others. Not only expressing and retelling my own story and experiences, but bold, courageous, and compassionate enough to share it for/with us. On top of the hard work and time of healing and awareness itself, in the face of indescribable hurt, betrayal, and damage from such unique and real evil, it is inspiring! This just shows the incredible persons who can be used and abused up for exactly that specialness and how we are only made even more so in coming through and out of such a fight and battle! No matter the n., no matter what the world does, says, or believes, no matter the outside appearance of ANYTHING, survivors, are thrivers, having the most precious gifts inside them that truly never fail to shine and pierce through such ever increasing darkness! One day soon, every knee will bow and name will confess the name of Christ Jesus. All will be revealed, accounted for, our lives bearing witness, and judged justly. Perfectly. All will be fully healed, made whole, pure, and well with all weeping, sorrow, and ill thing removed for eternity. In that time the refining, blazing, righteous fire of God witl burn up every evil, unclean, unfruitful, ungood thing leaving behind the precious stones and gems of goodness and love He gave us and flowed through us. I just thought of our jars of tears that He stores, knows, even counts (like our hairs, days, etc). I imagined them being burnt up in the fire as if they were all bad or not good. For the first time it made me think of how many of them may last, be refined, and a precious ever lasting treasure and evidence of our hearts desire for good, of love, in forgiveness, of loss, of the yearning and grieving of the Holy Spirit and ourselves over loved and lost ones, and the beautiful heart and mind of Christ that desires us all and all good things that makes us even aware and capable to FEEL for others and such things this way. Especially so outside the default nature of sinful and corrupted creation we all are conceived into. Fun and crazy to mediate on and explore what it all will be like soon. What a display of Him in and through us! What treasures and crowns we are given by Him and yet for eternity will sing, dance, and leap for joy in praise and worship casting them back down at His feet, again and again in the fullness, freedom, and awakness (lol) of such a God and such Love, Light, Life, Truth, and Peace unimaginable!!!! 🙌💧💎🙏✝️👑🫶🦁🤴👸
I dated my Xhusband for 7 years before our year of engagement andcwas WONDERFUL! I thought he was so romantic to keep ablist of my wishes in his wallet, but it was actually a Cliff's note on how to manipulate me! I ended up getting those things I had widhed for with my own effort and side-gig money (rv, ski boat, and ither luxury toys), mostly for our son so he could have good memories growing up. He took it all in the divirece with his dirty attorney after I was the one to file for divorce. I ended up with nothing, including a healthy relationship with my only child. All that romance was an act that gullible me fell hard for and Im having a hard time forgiving myself for being such a fool and for having a child with him.
Nothing to forgive yourself for, you were the victim! But I felt the same way after being conned for decades by my narcissist. I pray your son will see the light as he matures and be back in your life, relationship restored. ❤
To those out there who's still struggling with the abuse and the "loss". If you do the work and concentrate on yourself you WILL become the person that Father God made you to be. It's hard, but oh man it's worth it. A brand NEW you with all the knowledge about abusive people you will become bullet proof, or in this case narc proof. Set your GOALS, achieve them and be the best "You" that ever lived. God Bless you All. Thank you Paula.
I can't thank you enough for all of your videos. I am so glad that I found them. They have been so grounding for me as I have been navigating the turmoil of discard for the last 5 1/2 months. Your kindness, encouragement, and information have been a lighthouse in the storm. Each day gets better and better, but I know I still have a way to go. Truly, thank you for what you are doing to help all of us.
You are so welcome
This has been so helpful to me. My experience is almost identical to this story. Thank you!
Glad it was helpful!
Paula I'm so grateful for your videos...God bless you❤
Thank you for sharing the journal entry. I believe it will help many people who are still trapped in this hell.
The narcissists are very simple and very predictable, but only if you know what you're dealing with.
I couldn't escape because of the enormous amount of shame I had, the shame of being abused.
It was hard to admit that I stupidly believed them that the paradise was about to happen. I carried on, trying to impress the narcissists and letting them invalidate me more and more.
One day I decided I couldn't carry the shame any longer. I got to the point where there was nothing left in me because the narcissist took everything, and still was attempting to take more. I realised that the last thing I could only give was my life.
I planned my escape, and I managed to run away. Finally, I got the final stab. I didn't expect it. How very little I knew about the narcissistic personality?! But it was just enough to run away, leaving all behind. It was enough to save myself.
The stab was the blame shifting moment. I was hurt so badly, so deeply, I couldn't see any chance of recovering from it.
After about three months of complete withdrawal from the world, I started feeling better, I started recognising my old self. I stopped hearing and I stopped believing the horrible voice stucked in my head, if I worked harder, and if I gave all my life to the narcissist, that the promised paradise will come true.
During my recovery time, I listened to many podcasts, I educated myself, and I finally found the answer. I realised that all of the treatment I experienced was nothing else but narcissistic abuse.
Today, I call myself a survivor of a narcissistic abuse.
It hasn't been even a year, but thanks to the knowledge and validation I gained here, I'm in a good place again.
If I have the misfortune to see the narcissists one more time, I will look deeply into their false eyes, again, and I will ask using the past tense this time: "was it really me?"
No. It was never you. You tried your best in the worst circumstances, in the worst conditions, being treated like an object, being taken advantage of.
If I have the misfortune to meet my abusers, I will need to mention to them that their plan to destroy me completely has turned into a big favour.
I couldn't see any sense in it, I knew it was a vindictive action, but "thanks" to them, I was given a chance to make a great decision. That decision possibly will save my future.
I wish all of us a speedy recovery.
It was never you. It was them.
They deserve nothing from you.
I could forgive only if they apologised to me, and asked me for forgiveness.
I understand your need to have the opportunity to forgive but alas I know they will never ever give you closure or that opportunity my dear x
Great to hear this as makes one feel less alone and understand more that I don’t need to keep chastising myself over all this ruminating and wondering why this is taking so long to get over it.. I’m seven ti 8 months past the final discard..the no closure thing and the lack of explanation just means you still every now n then look back pondering wondering but I’m absolutely determined that I will keep no matter how slow making progress towards the light and getting back to myself.so true for the love bomb phase I felt I was in heaven that had found the ultimate connection that I was being seen and heard but in reality it was grooming and manipulation. The scary thing is this person is still ok the internet seeking new prey. I’m still trying to forgive. Thank you for all the videos and I echo the sentiments here that these videos were honestly life saving !xx ❤
You’ll be amazed at how much better you feel in another 8 months! Hang in there!
Hi Paula that was a very power video and all the details are so much inline , Paula is this all come from a bad childhood experience for the Narc ,
Thankyou this channel is a life saver Paula
Thankyou for your videos
Very helpful
🙏
Once you awaken to the true nature of narcissism, you are going to be different.
If you survive, you will be stronger, wiser and most importantly
YOU are FREE
(Use your boundaries and save yourself.)
Narcissists talk about and desire love but they aren't capable of it.
It's a paradox.
I moved away from my cheating narc and she will not stop harrassing me. It was just a few weeks ago. I had enough of the lies.
Good on ya! Time to ghost her etc Silence is golden...they hate that oh well. Gigs up
I love to watch your video with the fireplace it makes me relax and listen to you much better.
I'm so glad!
PEACE💚 Excellent Talk Paula🎉
It was the one year anniversary of my discard on March 10th. It's been very painful and hard but I'm doing okay. I wish things could have been different.
I've had a while away looking at other therapists talking about narcissism but I really like your behaviours-and-consequences approach to what happens, rather than a lot of academic analysis which, in my observation, becomes guesswork after a while.
Anyway, I've been grey rocking my narc neighbour ...... and observing his responses to it - it's freaked him out completely! But I know he's been building resentment because of all the boundaries he keeps bumping into, so I've been wondering when the smear will come ....... and it's come. He's smearing me on Facebook to whoever follows him. A friend sent me a screenshot of what he said about me and, yes, it is shocking to see that level of wilful malevolence, and I was shocked. Felt many strange and distressing sensations in all parts of my body. But, luckily, I've done a lot of work on myself and have learned to tolerate uncomfortable feelings. So I decide it's OK to feel them, which frees my head up for reflection and observation; and this has been educational. First up was I realised that what he said about me sounds very much like what I've said about him. Whether what each of us said is true or not, I felt the mere fact of me complaining about him to others was not an ethical thing to do. I'd much rather the smear had come without me having done that. Ah, well - my karma comes back.
You mentioned that through what they've learned about you in the love-bombing stage, they have huge amounts of information to use against you. So I'm thinking this FB post is just the first salvo in a long campaign of attrition coming my way. But at the same time, I realised that he's going way out on a limb doing this. I was reminded of a Talking Heads song - "and as we watch him digging his own grave, it was important to know that's where he's at ......".
But I'm not too worried. I know I'm OK and I have friends who know me and like me. I've been through a lot of stuff in my life and survived, and I'll get through this too ......
Thank you for your support through this. There have been times when things were coming severely unravelled for me with this guy, and I found stability listening to you. Thank you!
🙏🌹
Very powerful video Paula . That subscriber is very honest and open about her experiences, and I can like many can resonate with so much of what she said . P.s Benji my dog ado makes himself comfortable on the sofa re arranging the cushions 🐕🦺🦮
Ah I love it..the cushion organiser’s 🐕
Good night, Paula and sweet Remy i always love to see him in sweet slumber on the couch 🛋 😊❤❤
This is beautiful I too had to end a friendship of 29 years it's been two years but I'm now liberated
❤you’re spot on as usual.
And….Yes I agree that other twinflame soulmates, (all people), which, are our own brothers and sisters around the world, 🌎 here, created by SOURCE, CREATOR, GOD OR THE DIVINE ALL ONE OR SPIRIT, is absolutely going thru this reoccurring well known, and, ancient narcissistic pattern and cycle. Self imposed. Bcs, we choose 😊them again. Just like in the past lives. And are still relearning the same narcissistic lessons over again. To what? To not choose them. (Again…or ever!!) Stop feeling sorry for them or they’re gonna burn you again and again and again until we all learn!
Yep no more pittying them anymore! Stop 🛑!
When are we gonna stop?🛑!
Oh. I say right now and right this moment.
What say you?…😮❤😊
❤And so we all must encourage each other and re-tell each other this, that is going through thee same things in this lifetime.
❤And remind each other that we went through these same exact and re-occurring, ancient and repeating patterns and cycles of these dim lit and dank molding and dying energies and frequencies, held closely and deeply inside these dark ppl that ripped us apart again and again! That…., we kinda foolishly chose…..umm…. to get married to again and or got into a relationship with. Again-cycle….😮❤😊
And, that these ppl keep doing these same things to all the ppl they date or marry or engage or parent - these unfortunate children. Or step-children.
❤And that all of us finally need to see that it’s not us or anyone they hurt fault. It’s their fault. The narcissist’s. But it’s partially our fault too.
Bcs we chose them.
Bcs we thought we could change them. And it would be different with us…this time! Nope wrong again, in this lifetime…yep!😮❤😊
❤let’s try this…. Let’s remember this cycle and pattern of theirs. And how painful it is and going to be in the next lifetime! Ohhh DNA???!!!
And yep let’s remember that it’s truly and honestly their own toxic and sadistic pleasures, that needs to change. And that’s not gonna change if we don’t leave them. Bcs we’re the ones enabling them by not leaving them. Says CREATOR.😮😊❤
And, bcs, they need their due karmas from God, Creator. And, if we keep rewarding our narcissist with our presences. Then, how could God give them those karmas that are due to them for all the evil actions and words they gave all of us. Unless we leave.
Get it???….😮❤❤😊
Yes,…it’s us who does need to change. And, change our relationship status and put up instant strong boundaries and exit and leave these hate filled and narcissistic individuals right away! To their own GOD to discipline them!
And of course to their devices and self punishments and sufferings of their own freewill choices.
❤😮😢And of course warn all the other future victims. Ahead of time. If possible.
Know….This ancient pattern and cycle has to stop with us and our own children and family and friends, firstly! Bcs we need to protect our selves and them. That’s for sure!👍
Thank you for your email reading and content, beautiful powerful wise, Paula!!❤😅🎉
You’re doing a great job warning and reteaching us. And encouraging us and telling us the truth that it’s not us, it’s them! And we must leave them behind!
Lol, so God can spank their behind, so to speak. With a lot of karma to be paid back to us.❤️🗽❤️🥰
Much love namaste 😊❤🎉🗽🎉❤️👍
Thank you, Paula.
..... once she found out that I was on to her with help of such videos describing her to a, "T"..... the discard happened again within days.....
............this was the second time in 6 years she discarded me.... first time I cried for 2 years almost every night without having known this insight you share....done with such ice-coldness..... I am still devastated & still in love though, again...... so bizarre the affect they have on Us whom are now trying to survive.......💔💔💔..... I
I learned when I was with Karen, that it’s better to be alone than to wish you were alone.
We ain't diagnosing them, we're evaluating them.
Huge difference.
Thank you Paula ❤and thank you survivor for sharing your experience ❤
That's exactly how I felt. I couldn't believe he did it. I thought he loved me.
This person's experience sounds almost exactly like mine. I spent 29 years with my ex. I feel for him.❤
Wow the good times were bc of you.
The gift is not the pain, it never is, it is evil, it is the wisdom of narcism that is the gift.
Paula, I really enjoy your videos today I am two years Narc free away from the Narc but within the last two years, I have discovered that most of the people that have been in my life, family friends, coworkers, others have been toxic or narcissistic, and while I recognized their behavior wasn’t correct or normal I now have words to Put to their behaviors now what’s really painful as well is I’m realizing that my sister is what I believe to be either a covert narcissist or at least has the traits there of this is very difficult. She doesn’t treat me normally always has excuses sees her friends, never sees me, and when I call her out on something, there’s always an a reason or an answer or something to the fact, I cannot believe what I’ve been discovering in the last two years because of the Narc it’s been in en lightning soul-searching self love self work it’s all been very difficult, but it really is a blessing in disguise. I listen to you and others on RUclips and another platform which has really helped me in the last two years of my life, I never thought I’d feel better but I do however with my sister and also I believe my brother and another family member and my dad that is no longer around. I think he was the start of this narcissism stuff and now I realize and I’ve always thought that the reason that I pick certain people was because of him its hard to change certain aspects of your life that you’ve been doing your entire life. I had to get rid of so many people and then think about my own behavior and change those things it’s not easy but it’s so worth it and I thank you for your time and your love that you show to each and everyone of this on your channel. Thank you.
Dropped out of an aeroplane Paula… that hit the spot ❤️
I feel, I can’t trust any man. I have nothing but hurt in my life. I am a 53 years old. I have been married twice. I do not want a Nother narcissist in my life. I want to give up and love because I’ve never had love. I don’t know what that means with a man and a woman. I have two children but I love to death they are my family. My mother was a narcissist, and it just seems like every time I try to date, I have a narcissist I need to get rid of something in my life a narcissist I need to find different ways of finding a man who is not a narcissist I wish you could coach us on this.😊
There is no end for me. He was able to alienate our youngest child from me. i am now paying huge child support payments and my youngest will not see me. When she is 18, he will be seeking spousal support. He went out on a permanent fake disability.
Hi Paula , the letter you read resonated with me,, what I went through with the Narcissist was the worst 8 years I’ve ever experienced,, it’s reassuring to hear other people tell their stories,, our world is full of these demons ,,
Another good video and it's great to see Remu enjoying his comforts.
I have a gut feeling about this discard, there are so many things that point in that direction; Paula it’s a long story. Love to speak with you for 30
Please pray for me. My narc ex gf will not stop trying to hoover me. Her desk is 10 ft from me which is the worst.
That hit hard when he said ‘no remorse for horrible behavior ‘
Thank you Paula! Great take here. And i just want to say i love your co-pilot Remy! ❤. That's one happy, lucky dog!
Thank you! 😊
Matthew 10:16
“I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.
Jesus Christ saved me, He will save you too. Repent your sins and be saved. God bless you all.❤
Wow, what a great letter and insights shared. I’ll be listening to this a second time to capture the wisdom expressed.
My 2 cents on family support: As a husband who 29:43 is married 40 years to a covert narcissist “this label” is very kind considering the cruel devastation caused by their deceitful actions, behaviors, lying lifestyle.
With Jesus healing ❤️🩹 is possible.
Thank you Paula
Peace and Grace
Actually they will tune in and watch so they can stalk you. Awesome video Paula 😘🌹
2 years today Narc free
Narc daily, that letter sounds just like my life. I would like to meet a nice kind man one day like his tone in the letter. I was in a 23 years narc marriage 💔. I will get better and not be co-dependit anymore
Can you do a video on, if you’re starting to distance yourself from the narcissist, so they discard you in order to try to gain control, and you just accept the narcissist’s discard without a fight….you just let them go.
Thank you 🙏 Paula
My mother. My ex husband. The ex romance 2018. Five former friends. No contact with them all. I so identify. Thank you for sharing
My narcissist told me she loved me after only 2 months..which I thought was too soon. Then she asked if I loved her and not to say it unless I meant it..!! The irony 😮
Under the spell of the narcissist.... i can relate to that. I am sure it's bordering on some dark satanic force. Evil if you ask me, No empathy and Love = Empathy.
Peinture saved me🙏🏻
Hehe!
Remy may also say..
You go ahead and throw your light on narcissists 😅
He is a dear old soul and must be so proud of what you do...
🙏🥰
Love Remy ❤
Encouraging
Three decades with the nar I can't believe it how l made through the years I know your feeling Wasted years
Thank you for sharing this!!! ❤❤❤
You are so welcome!
It seems to be that the BIGGEST thing I've learned is that I've got to stop being a victim.
And now I know this is the right thing, coz I'm so so so!!!!!! Happy now. It seemed like I'd never be able to be happy again. But ya have to consider it like this: if it didn't go well with you and a person, if he did not come back to you, then that's GOT TO BE OK. ....and start!!! Forgetting about it, just let it all go.xxxxxxxxx
Thanks Paula! ❤
Hey Paula, another great vid. We love you and your great analysis/advice. Also, we love your lovely dog. Recently, someone said narcs are 1 in 6.. does this seem realistic to you? Best of luck.
I’d say full NPD less 🌹
Thanks!
Thank you 🙏
I actually have sympathy and empathy for my narcissistic husband
This narc would say to me “you are alone” the narc would say that when I’d say leave me alone I’d say that when I was mad
Paula 🙏🏽❤️
This is exactly my story
😢😢😢😢 omg this was me
Thank you. I was discarded 6 weeks ago and getting out of bed is a challenge. Left for dead at 12 midnight after awful verbal abuse. Do you do individual sessions Paula?
Yes Ann - narcscon@gmail.com
Its so hard to heal when they have your child
🌹🌹
9 Years of Hell
Buddy?? Just come out of a 13 year narcissistic relationship. I'm happy of my situation. I've woken up realised and moving on. But we do have a 2 year old. A buddy or person who is in the same situation some can navigate together would be great.
I am.someone who does not let my situation get in the way if his amd hers relationship (unless that becomes toxic) so would also like a like.minded friend too.
Thank you.
Based on the uk 😇