💜 this made me feel so validated, being a young bisexual who currently can only picture herself dating a girl makes me feel trashy since everyone talks about bisexuality being a stepping stone to homosexuality BUT hey im still attracted to boys even if i dont picture myself dating one at the moment!!!! thank u mel💚💚💚
@@panda839578567659610 we just need to remember that everyone is valid and that it can be a stepping stone as much as not and both things r ok!! 👐 u r so sweet!!💜
I am also a feminine lady attracted to feminine ladies (& masculine men). I generally never disclose my sexuality, for me (in a long-term straight relationship) I don't feel it's necessary, though I used to identify as a lesbian. I do find myself hiding that I am bisexual from female friends sometimes though. I feel as though with some people they are aren't accepting enough, and it does change the dynamic of the friendship for them. For lots it doesn't, but sadly I sometimes weigh up whether I feel it's an important part of myself to share or I want to not feel awkward in situations. It's a strange one, but by this point I've stopped putting any label on myself in regards to my sexuality x
im accepting of gay people and bi people, but if I am dating a bi girl she will never get my heart i will never allow myself to be emotionally open to them because there gay tendencies will cause them to cheat and for that, if im dating them all they are gettting is this dick!
I am a gay female and have previously dated a lesbian and found my self always being jealous however now I’m dating a bi female and don’t find my self jealous at all when she is hanging with other people and yet people seem to think that I should be more jealous because “ she is more likely to cheat” which annoys me because anyone can cheat regardless of their sexuality
just started dating a girl at college and honestly the shift in people's perspectives even from 4/5 years ago when i realised i was bi is amazing, even tho it might seem we're going backwards, it's because of people like you that i'm really hopeful!! love your vids xx
SOOO WHO NOTICED THAT LITTLE MISHAP YESTERDAY!? Hahahaha...I explained on IG stories, it was RUclips spazzing out on me once again! ANYWAY show me those purple love hearts for bi pride and please let me know what part of this video you found the most interesting. Any points yous want me to elaborate on in future vids?
I am bi and I have told some of my friends (I'm almost 30 now). I just recently found the courage to actually date a woman. It didn't last long.. she made me feel like I was the love of her life just to dump me a few months later. I'm still grieving and I still have feelings for her. She broke my heart like I knew she would, but also helped me find out so many important things about who I am and what I want from relationships. And the funny thing is that no matter if it is with a man or if it is with a woman, I still want the same things: connection, closeness, intimacy, caring for each other, building and nurturing life together.
I'm a bisexual girl who has never dated anyone, neither men nor women. Your videos help me so much and always make me proud to be bi! I agree with so much of what you're saying and I constantly find my self nodding along haha You're the best!!
I'm not bisexual. I identify as a lesbian and only went on my first proper date with a girl yesterday. It went well but sadly nothing will come out of it for personal reasons. Personally I think your beautiful. And whoever will end up being your first date will be lucky :)
As a 17 year old bisexual girl who has never dated anyone this video was very interesting. In the place I am in right now I could picture myself dating a girl so much more than a guy. I just find myself attracted romantically and physically to a lot more girls and while I go through phases with that they're basically like 'Wait, am I really bisexual or actually gay?!' to 'Guys are cute but there are a lot more cute girls' 😂 I love the your talking videos so, so much, lots of love from Germany 💚💜
“Love is a reciprocal thing, infatuation is not.” I think this quote is really interesting and I’m curious to maybe hear you elaborate on this thought. Do you think someone has to love you romantically in order for you to love them romantically back? Or do you think you can fall in love with someone who loves you deeply in a platonic way?
Paige Lalonde yeah I definitely don’t agree with that quote. You absolutely can love someone who doesn’t love you back. You can get close enough to someone to love them without being romantically linked.
Paige Lalonde what I meant by that is to really give love to someone else they need to want to accept that love...being ‘in love’ is literally just chemicals in the brain. Real love grows over time and isn’t definable but all I know from reading a ton about it, experiencing various forms of love etc, is that actual romantic love can’t blossom when it’s unrequited, then most of it remains projection. A person being in love with the concept of another person. Yes that’s intense but it’s not based on anything real. So that’s why I believe I was merely infatuated with this girl because a person doesn’t need to be equally infatuated with you for you to have that experience! But yeah I guess it depends on how you define love. Unconditional love is obviously something we feel for family etc but when it comes to romantic love, if you don’t experience a shared love, giving and taking, growing together, I and many others would class that as mere infatuation/love chemicals turning ya crazy for someone you don’t even REALLY know all that well! On a very personal level, anyway x
I love this video . Both me and my partner are both straight but are expecting our first baby . We both want to be very open bringing up our children and it’s nice to be educated and have this platform to learn 👶🏻❤️💚💙💛
I'm not sure I even have a me-dar sometimes ^^ I literally need people to come up to me and say "Hey, I think you are cool, I like you. Let's spend time together." Love from Austria
so many points here that I think lots of people don't talk about in terms of bisexuality because they're worried people will accuse them of not being bi or of being offensive, I'm so glad you explored these issues I'm sure it'll make a lot of people feel a lot less guilty! especially about how much 'easier' it is to date opposite-sex people and how our culture makes that feel more 'normal'
I love this. I’ve always admired how candid you are. Being a bi woman with a girlfriend, I had to learn to navigate certain things differently after only being with men. And I have to agree, Things are different in every aspect, but in all the best ways.
I've always identified as straight - all my infatuation/love/sexual thoughts has always been about men, with zero crushes or sexual thoughts about women. However, in my mid-twenties I had my first proper crush on a girl I worked with. I'm not sure if it's because I knew she was a lesbian and I knew she was into me, but it was the same nervous feeling I'd always got with men and this weird, intense unspoken chemistry. I've still not been with a girl, and the whole thing kind of snuck up on me so I don't know how to deal with it. I guess sexuality isn't as black & white as society tries to say it is, sexuality can be fluid and change with experiences/ people you meet.
I don't date but do find it interesting to learn about and as a bisexual person myself I like to compliment people (usually in my head and on fashion) so being able to look at both guys and girls is always good! PS. Absolutely love your makeup in this video! 💜
I was wondering recently if humans will ever get to the stage where we don't assume a person is straight naturally. Essentially then just seeing everyone as bi/pansexual until told otherwise, or is it just within our nature as humans to assume heterosexuality first. That's the sort of stuff that goes through my head on a daily basis 😂💚
me too. I'm bi and when people says stuff like "do you have a boyfriend?" or anything assuming i'm straight it really bothers me because I wish didn't have to explain myself, I wish I didn't have to come out and stuff like that.
Eilidh Geddes I don't think it's in our nature necessarily, but that I think it stems from centuries and centuries of conditioning us to assume everyone is straight. And it will probably take just as long to undo that again
so after two years of being in a relationship with a guy, I’m single and bi... this video definitely came at the right time and pointed out a lot of the things I’m feeling! 💛
I'm 99% sure I'm bi, but I'm dating a man and have been for 7 years and I love him and probably want to marry and have a couple kids with him.. Meaning I'll never get the chance to explore my bisexuality ( my bf encourages me to explore it, doesn't want me missing out on anything cause of him. he's given me permission of sorts to explore.... I don't want to do that it would be cheating in my eyes). This makes me think like am I even bisexual if I've never been with a girl? Im torn about the whole "coming out" thing too... I don't think there should be a need, I mean people don't come out as straight do they? It's such a sticky toffee desert 😂💜
My story is similar to yours. I am married and have 2 kids, a 5 year old and a 3 month old. I've been with my husband for almost 8 years and just last month I told him I was bisexual. It was the most relieving and I can tell you that I am much more confident and happy letting that little secret out. He too wants me to explore my sexuality, and I am. I haven't done so, but I will. Not for him, but for myself. I love my husband and I love him even more now that I've told him. He trusts me enough to explore. I do not see it as cheating because we are both aware of what it happening. I agree with you that there isn't a need to come out, I am quite content without telling anyone how I identify, however I am proud to be bisexual. Thank you for your post! It's nice to know there's someone who shares similar experiences.
Same here, together with my husband for 5+ years, never had the chance to explore the other side. But I know you don't have to had experience to identify as bisexual. And I agree on the coming out. I won't hide it when asked, but I don't feel a need to come out.
Crimson Sin you are totally bi and you don’t have to come out if you don’t want to, nobody does! 💚 your relationship status doesn’t determine your sexuality 😘
@@TheAvgiselle same! Thanks for relying to me. Hmm when you put it that way it doesn't sound like cheating because he's told me it wouldn't bother him, but I'd still need a long think about it before I try anything. Also glad to know someone else is in a similar position :)
@@amara560 Me either, I don't want a whole coming thing, I'll tell my closest friends if they ask but I'm not telling everybody I know haha. Thanks for your comment :)
I’m a bisexual in my first long-term relationship (with a guy.) One problem I face is feeling like I’m somehow not valid in the lgbt+ community because I’ve never been with a woman. I absolutely love this video Melanie, thankyou for addressing such important topics like this so openly!
Ellie, I relate, I've never been with a woman but I still identify as bisexual. I'm in a relationship with a man but I have had romantic and sexual feelings towards women in the past, but didn't have a chance to explore it due to the fact that the women I were interested in were straight. I also sometimes feel like I'm not valid, but I think we are. Just because we haven't had that experience yet doesn't mean we can't be a part of the community
@@naginoriette7857 You can tell us all you're bisexual, it won't actually make it true. You're straight that's why you went s-t-r-a-I-g-h-t to men instead of exploring those feelings, if they were real you'd have done that. Lindsey, it's not hate, it's the truth.
@@nicolesmrekar2046 I don't know about anyone else...but I missed the part where you became an expert in the mind of a bisexual person. Did you ever have feelings for someone who you didn't sleep with? Same for us. Didn't dismiss or invalidate the feelings, did it? Same for us. Sorry to hear you can't seem to understand hypocrisy very well.
💜I find my preferences are the inverse of yours: more romantically attracted to women, generally more sexually attracted to men. However, the most common feedback I get when explaining this to people is, "Why not just say you're gay then?" And, as confident as I am in my sexuality and as educated as I am about biphobia, those comments did cause me to doubt myself at one point. I even tried out the gay label for a week (lol) but it's just... not that complicated, y'all. Different shades of purple, that's all.
Thank you, Melanie. This video (and so many of the messages within it) really resonated with me. As a pansexual, cis woman whose friend group primarily consists of heterosexual females - I particularly related to your commentary on sharing a bed / 'having a sleepover' with people of different sexual orientations. For me, I often struggle with sharing a bed with my heterosexual friends, even ones I am very close with, out of fear that they will be uncomfortable and / or assume I am interested in them. 99% of the time, this is not the case. But even so - I am extremely conscious of the way I act in situations like that. Even just in my day to day life, I often avoid getting changed in front of my friends for the same reason - which brings up memories of being in highschool and feeling the need to get changed for gym class in a private bathroom stall where I couldn't be seen, to avoid making the other girls in my class uncomfortable. Even though I wasn't looking at them, I feared they would think I was. Anyway. Yeah. The point I'm trying to get at is how much of a struggle it is to conduct yourself in a careful, or seemingly 'appropriate' manner in order to avoid people thinking you're interested in them when you're actually not. Which I think all comes down to the misconception that bi/pansexual people are 'attracted to everyone'. Argh. So frustrating. Just like anyone else - we still all have personal preferences.
Yea, but see this through the eyes of others...….straight girls can see just like gay women can that the VAST majority of bihet women don't even ever date another woman, let alone end up in serious relationships with them. So usually both us gay women and straight women consider you straight as well. So they don't see you as a threat just as much as I don't see you as part of the gay community.
As a lesbian, I feel disappointed to hear that biphobia is common with lesbians. I’m so sorry for bisexuals that experience this. I have dated bisexuals before, I have never looked down on bisexuals in any way, I just had a hard time understanding. This video made me completely understand (I know everybody is different romantically/sexually). Thank you for the honesty and understanding.
It's shame people think we're not very honest or loyal people, but tbh I can totally understand lesbians wanting to be in a relationship with someone, who is sure they know themselves, and preferably another lesbian. I don't like bi women who pressure lesbians to date them when they don't want to.
There is SO MUCH GOLD in this video to unpack, definitely need a re-watch. I am 29 and also came to the dating/relationship component of my bisexuality quite late so have often felt a conflict between male-centric lived experiences and female-centric future tendencies. I think a lot of what you are saying here will allow me to take a more informed look at my relationship with my bisexuality - thank you! 💚
As a straight man, while I am ok with it, I could see how on both sides of the divide how people's insecurities could cause issues. Heterosexual Men might think their masculinity would be threatened by dating bisexual women so be put off by it, worrying she might leave them for women at some point. Lesbian women may think they are not committed to women sexually. This may sound silly but you cannot ignore people's insecurities.
Thank you sooo much for this. 💜💚💜 I recently started dating a girl for the first time! I’m finally becoming comfortable with my sexuality, and you have helped me immensely.
Melanie, I LOVE THIS video. It's such a deep insight and I really think it can help many people understand more about bisexuality and the struggles bi people have growing up still today. love u
in my opinion, if you still don't know your sexuality don't be in relationship until you explore your self to not hurt anyone because I see women here say I am married or in relationship and he accept me to explore sorry what is that ???? if man or woman really loves you would never like to imagine you kissing another person and if person makes you do so, then you have to think about it, ???? to see if he or she really loves you or even cheat on you, because he sees it that easy, plus if ur partner really loves you and u said i am gay or bi you will hurt this person so it's better if you explore you self first try to know what you want and then decide, 3 some sex or person who accept whatever will end up one like another in 3 some and mostly you will like one person more than the other one,,,,,, because it's human nature or will end with break up
I haven't actually had the chance to date as a bi(or pan?)sexual as I didn't realise I was bi until after I got into a relationship with my partner. But if I ever do find myself single (which i hope i dont but yknow how life is) I will definitely be using this video as a guide! I also cannot WAIT to watch the Bi Life 😍💚
As a gay identifing female I'm fully supportive of bi girls. Your sexuality is 100% valid , I have dated a bi girl and I never had a problem with her being bi, I never had crazy she will leave me for a guy thoughts. LOL we even had coversations about her type when it came to guys, I would asked her do you think he is hot? About guys when we would be out and joking around. Our relationship did not work out and that's ok. she has a boyfriend now and I'm happy for her. Her being with a guy dose not make her straight as she was not gay when she was with me, she is bi no mater who she is with. Don't let anyone tell you your sexuality is not real. I support you bi gals and lads 💜💜💜
I know it’s 4 yrs later, but thank you so much for this comment. I’m 38 and married to a cis straight male. I have struggled with my sexuality so much up until a few years ago. When I was younger I only came out to a few people. From the few I told, it was my older gay and lesbian friend’s reactions that hurt me the most. I was told I was confused and had to be one or the other, or that they hated bi people and could never date one bc we always ended up cheating or “going straight”. One of my mentors (an older gay man) literally laughed in my face and waved me off as though I had no idea what I was saying. The friends I thought would understand me…made me feel even more lost. After that first year of trying to come out I stopped and went through years of hating myself and trying to suppress my bisexuality (which involved A-LOT of crying lol). I know it may sound silly, but your comment brought those early broken parts of me back to the surface (in a good way). The recognition, validation, and acceptance coming from someone within the community is absolutely everything. So…thank you 😭 🤍
Love this! ❤️ I'm bisexual and for most of my younger years dated only men but was always attracted to women. At the great age of 22 started dated women and have been in a 3yr relationship with my gf 😍 But she does need quite a bit of reassurance that I won't leave her for a dude which sucks to hear 😔 But regardless I love her and all her gayness 😍 and wouldn't dream of being with any other.
Wow I found so much of what you said totally relatable! Especially when it comes to being attracted to women in a more sexual way compared to a dating way for men. As a young person and as a student living in a house with my friends I find it hard to figure out what exactly it is I want. I've struggled to figure out what my sexuality is for years and so far I think that I definitely like boys and would want to date them but have a hard time deciding if I want the same from girls. I just think part of me is ashamed or embarrassed to even consider experimenting out of fear of being judged by my friends. I definitely am attracted to girls and think about what it would be like to be with a girl. Is anyone in the same boat? help!
I’ve experimented with quite a few friends, even when I was younger! I definitely feel like I’m sexually attracted to girls but I cannot see myself being in a relationship with a girl. Experiment, do not feel ashamed and judged. You are you and there’s no reason for you to feel these negative ways. You’ll never know what you want until you explore the options
Relate to the the dating app problem. There are soo many couples on apps, which I find so annoying. And all the women are so passive about taking initiative. Hoping to meet a woman without dating app. The ones I've dated outside dating apps haven't worked out yet. Hoping my person will come along soon.
Approaching women is so difficult. I had a conversation recently, where another woman was telling me that "women don't deal with rejection easily. You have to approach them and not wait for them to come to me. Women are shy, they'll have a crush on you for years but now say anything. " i basically felt like she was telling me that if i wanted a woman, i would have to be the "man" to get their attention.
@@lauraholbrook8852 I feel the same way. My sister, who has been with the same person who chatted her up when she was 19, was all "just hand girls a note with your number on it"... as if it's super simple (and I imagine some people would find that approach lame). I've been trying for years, meeting people on apps, sometimes flirting with/ asking people I've met/known out "in real life" or on messenger. It's just been very bad luck with timing or them not being interested beyond a few months. It feels exhausting and humiliating after a while...
@@badis1173 I've dated men as well. And in most cases I made the first moves with men, too. I hate that straight culture approach of men being the ones "required" to make the move or to pay. Here in Norway, we like to share the bill.
@@herreguda6199 i didnt come out til later in life and by that i mean last year before i turned 28. Since I'm married to a man and dont "look bisexual," i took it upon myself to make the first move but i've been met with alot of rejection. Dating apps seem to be difficult when your bisexual. I also feel you on the wanting a long lasting relationship. I totally get wanting to get to know someone and have experiences witb them. I dont have a problem with men approaching me, infact thats all that does. There's even been men that have used their women as a bargaining chip and that's not something I'm into. Dating as a bisexual is rather difficult.
@@lauraholbrook8852 maybe it's hard for you to date women because you are already married to a man? As a lesbian I'm trying to find single girls. Sorry to be blunt
💜 support for all you lovely bi peeps.. as a straight woman I'm always surprised how much discrimination bisexual people get and it needs to stop so 💜 for y'all beauties
Yaaaaaasssss sing it Melanie!!! Love you, also Freddie is biconic!! My bi heart is so ready for Bohemian Rhapsody ❤💜💙 I completely agree with all that you said, and I hope The Bi Life airs in the U.S. eventually
Great video! Thank you, Melanie! As a bisexual girl I find your videos very interesting and I can totally relate to lots of the topics in it. You're definitely my favourite bisexual RUclipsr
💜 bi dating 😬😂 and particularly in little old Ireland, AND after ending a long term relationship with a man, is a HUGE ball of mess! No Gaydar, no game or flirting skills, cluelessly navigating crushes, it's actually tempting to just play straight! The privilege inherent in being misidentified as straight is undeniable, but is finding a nice femme lady to exchange some heart eyes emojis with really too much to ask? 😂💜
Lisa Healy I don’t think it matters where you are in the world it is never that easy 🙈 I just feel like the clock is ticking and I need to get out there and do it before I get too old 😂
as a female presenting person: Hearing you put into words, how friendship with other girls comes with this whole tangled mess of confusion is SO relieving! That made me understand myself a bit better. Thank you for that!!
Even better watching the second time! "Me-dar" seriously needs to be an everyday word. Really like these types of videos, watching them me feel so understood! 💜
I love love love this video so much!! As a bi girl it's really lovely to hear someone talking about bi dating in such a chill way. Thank you sm for getting so personal and open with us, because I feel as though it could help a lot of confused people out there 💜
I am crying, there were so many points that you touched on that I can relate to. I definitely will be watching the Bi Life cuz I feel I have a lot more to learn about people and myself. I have not had the best experience with men particularly my ex, so I just kinda flip my miggle finger to men for the past 3 years and not battered an eyelid towards them. ILY
@Bieautiful :3 I am well aware how sexuality works. Probably needed to clarify that I meant I did not have a physical attraction to men as my ex a guy was sexually abusive. I have known that I am bi since I was 13
Hey Melanie, I've had the same experiences/problems online dating and have since deleted my accounts. Less drama! I'm glad it's being said more that monogamous bisexuals exist! Relationships bring so much more happiness than throw-away, "instant gratifications". Trust and loyalty are very important and I agree that communication is key in and throughout any relationship. Thanks for sharing. Lisa (single and looking, haha ;D / England, U.K.)
Such a great conversation. I recently came out as Bi but As someone who doesn’t have a lot of queer people to talk to about it, this kind of video is super helpful and comforting.
Videos like this are so important. I’m a lesbian but I’ve always wanted to experiment with a guy. I know that I am not sexually attracted or romantically attracted to men but I still want that (consensual) experience. But because of biphobia, and me being biphobic. I haven’t tried men and I’m scared to in case women don’t want to be with me because they think I’m bisexual. And I know that’s awful thinking but that’s what I’ve been trained to think. And a lot of my lesbian friends seem to think it’s a great thing that they would date a bisexual. Like yes of course you should date a bisexual, just date who you are attracted to but it was a case of, I’d say “is that not a bit biphobic” and they’d say “no, I’ve dated bisexuals” as if that makes them not biphobic ???? Small rant over. Love you videos
My guess is that with lesbians who have some biphobic behaviours, they may have had bad experiences with bi people in the past. I identify as lesbian but would have no problem dating a bi woman. I also feel that bi people sometimes experience more animosity from the LGBT community than from straight people and that's pretty sad.
12:10 That's one of the biggest things I've noticed about female friendships... girls are usually more intimate with each other, more physical, and more open with their female friends, which makes it hard for bi women to decipher if an interaction with a female friend is platonic or romantic. I have never been in a relationship with a girl so I don't have much experience with this yet, but when I was single, it was definitely hard to determine if a woman was straight or bi without asking her, especially with some of my female friends who are very physical and open with other females. That's probably one of the tougher parts about dating the same sex, learning how to interpret nonverbal signals 16:40 Do you think you could potentially make a video about how you learned about same-sex sex? What you discovered in your research, about your experiences, and how to prepare? I'm genuinely curious because, again, I've never had a romantic or sexual relationship with a woman simply because I haven't had the opportunity (like you, I struggled with developing feelings for straight women lol)
When this video was posted yesterday, I commented about my eardrums exploding at the start of the video(figuratively speaking)...you'll be glad to know they are fully intact! I wanted to know would you ever do a singing video? Oh and also I LOVE LOOVE LOOOVE YOUR VIDEOS so much
Aine Nee I did one, just once, where I played a recording of me singing a La La Land song while doing my makeup! I think my boyfriend and I wanna do a couple of duet type things though 🤗💚
Melanie Murphy haha yep saw that video and the lil snippets of you in dodie’s vids🧡 just thought it would be nice to see you recording something specifically to do with singing cause I watch a lot of covers etc!! Can’t wait for that video idea with you and Thomas though(hopefully!), sounds so cool😍🧡
Imagine having to focus on your sexuality like this. The narcissism and self obsession by people living in western world prosperity. Lust is fleeting, love is not. When we first fall in love with someone, we tend to fall in passionate love, as psychologist Jonathan Haidt puts it-the birds are singing, the bees are buzzing, and we can't keep our hands off each other. But as marriages progress, passionate love drops off radically, and companionate love gradually rises-the kind of love that carries you through thick and thin.
as a lesbian who once identified as a bisexual (but ya know compulsory heterosexuality), this video made my (potential) dating life seem alot easier. i feel like i’ve learnt so much. i’ve always been scared to be offence or harmful to anyone i end up with and this video made it seem not so scary! so thank you!!
This came out at the perfect time yesterday because the girl I like asked me if I'd go to the dance with her! 💜 I was sad to see it deleted but now I can rewatch. 🙏💜
I was afraid to come out to my friends, afraid they would treat me differently, or talk to me behind my back.A few days ago my friend (lesbian) came out and everyone took it so well that i was inspired to come out as bi and everyonr was lovely and nothing changed.But youtubers like you helped me muster up courage and realize that my feelings were normal and valid.thank you! Please always keep making videos
I’m a Gay man. Dated a bi dude once and wasn’t comfortable about him being bi. I broke it off. He swore over and over he was more into guys. I still let him go. Best decision ever. He is about to get marry to a woman lol. Not worthy.
i came out at 40 after i noticed i fell in love and lust with a friend she was straight but gave off at times the wrong signal. it was aconfusing time of my life because i had shut down that side of me since i was young .. living a lie basically . i am now out my box but cant find people on sites and being Bi seems to be a bad thing as i get slated. live around London would love to know groups that would accept me or places to go just to feel me ... this was so needed you just gave me a whole lot of understanding girl
Hi. Thanks for this video. I'm a bisexual woman. I've dated multiple men and women (not at the same time). Like you, I'm also picky. I have noticed that I have different requirements for men and women. They turn me on in different ways. I also get into what I call "stumps" where I have been more interested in one sex over the other for a period of time. Currently, I am dating a man and I have strong interest in men. My last relationship was with a woman. It tends to flip flop. I'm very feminine myself, but I tend to take charge in the bedroom with all partners. I'm confident and I usually make the first move. Through all my experiences, I've noticed that I'm very attracted to feminine energy from both men and women. It's great. Thank you for sharing your story. It's fun to see what us bisexuals may have in common.
Thank you for making this video and being so open and honest, you've summed up so much of how I've felt and it's good to know I'm not the only one who feels this way (especially when I struggle to remember not everyone does). I've always considered myself bisexual, and it does affect my friendships because I am often attracted to people who aren't attracted to me (though this obviously happens with straight people, it does seem more likely with bi people), but so far it hasn't really affected my relationships because honesty and openness have always been my foundation for every relationship I'm in (again, don't really understand how some people are okay with keeping secrets from their partner(s), as it is so important imho).
I'm dating a guy and one of my closest friends is bi too. He asked me before if she was "another half-lesbian" and when I corrected him and confirmed I was met with "oh for fucks sake".. I have absolutely no idea what to feel about this, being bi is basically a part of my identity and this guy I'm dating is NOT reacting well...
Love this video! That bi life show looks awesome. More visibility for us bi's will help others see us as normal and people won't think we're so weird and be so confused by us. There's nothing confusing about us. We just like both male and female people. That's it. 😁
Tbh I’ve had to discuss/explain almost every topic discussed in this video so many times to other people and it’s so good to hear it from someone else!!! Makes me feel so much better knowing I’m not alone
I had my first relationship with a girl when I turned 14, I was very young and we stayed together until we were both 17, I was so scared back then to mention the fact that I was bisexual and sometimes still I face misconceptions etc, as we all do, I now have a boyfriend and can completely relate with what you said about gender not mattering but it can change how you communicate with that person, when I have dated or been in relationships with women I also find myself being more dominant but when I've dated and being in relationships with men I find this changes and I don't have a dominant role at all, but I like it! I found this very interesting, ,thank you for discussing bisexuality, I also think the new dating programme should be great, hopefully with bisexuality being talked about more stigmas can be eliminated! 💜
RUclips GLITCHED it wasn't ready to go live hahahaha I was so so mad! Was at the premiere for the new movie about Freddie Mercury when it happened so I didn't even notice! RAGING!
Have you ever had a fear of telling a man that you are bisexual and not be taken you seriously and instead the guy would just want a threesome instead of a comitted monoagmous relationship? Is this more of a stereotype or do you think people understand bisexuality more nowadays? I’m 20 and a very happy bi 💜💜 Your bisexual vids always make me happy since I am to learn more about myself through them, so thank you Melanie!
yessss thank you melanie for making and posting this video because I've been having trouble around my bisexuality and just overall how to date "in the scene" if you will, and really its just been so hard, I've been feeling alone in my confusion and thoughts, but this changes that. So, thank you!
My mom is very biphobic and homophobic as well. She believes bisexuality doesn't exist. She also believes that gay couples consists of a trans man and a cis man. I'm very scared to come out to her. I'm scared of what her reaction would be. And also i know she'll never approve of me dating a girl. (i apologize if there were any mistakes. My English isn't good)
When you mentioned how the opposite genders bring out a different energy and change the way you interact with them caught my attention. I thought I was the only one who unconsciously did that... Interesting. Thanks for the video!🏳️🌈
It's been many years since I've been on a dating site but I remember the quizzes were big things on OkCupid but they were frustrating because you couldn't change your answer depending on what kind of relationship you were looking for. They let you declare bisexuality but if asked a question like: do you tend to be the more dominant one in a relationship, there wasn't really a way to denote that you would be one way with men but another with women. Or I think you could leave a comment but that wouldn't be included in the algorithm. Apparently some bi people had two profiles that they would cater to one or the other but who really has time for that?
Finally lol. Thank you Melanie for sharing your experience with dating or being attracted to women. You explained really well the complications of figuring out what the girl you’re into wants, be it physically or romantically. You also touched on the anatomy issue, which can be difficult if you’re not used to it. I’m a trans lesbian and have no problem with bi girls, but I know that some lesbians do unfortunately. Anyway, great video. Also, I’m glad you found your person.💚
Thank you for making this video! I am only 22 and just coming to terms with my bisexuality (even though I am still not even 100% sure about that) and it's always comforting to know that it's normal to be confused. I broke up with a guy that I really fell for about 4 months ago in order to figure myself out - and it has been a very difficult process, but things are finally looking up!
I want to thank you not only for this video in general, but for the thought about being more romantically attracted to one gender(s) and more sexually attracted to other(s). I don't know how I missed this, actually, very logical idea in my own course of reflexion about my sexuality - I mean, of course I'm aware that sexual and romantic orientation is two different things but I knowing and realising is not the same, right? So much makes more sense now, when I have this concept in my mind.
Omg, Thankyou so much for this video. Your sexual preferences are identical to mine. I did the 17 year old explore homosexual content, entered a straight relationship and now really wanting to address dating women- it’s so hard breaking the ice with a lesbian online when the ‘bi’ aspect surfaces . Sigh
I always love to watch your videos about sexuality because you explain your feelings so well, and sometimes I can relate a lot and sometimes not so much. either way it is helpful to know everyone has different experiences figuring out their sexuality and it helps me think about what I want and need in that sense. This might be one of my faves bc yes being bisexual or attracted to more than one gender can be so confusing, and it doesn't help being a little picky with who you date!! Side note: while watching I couldn't help but concentrate on your hair because it just looks amazing, I just love it. HOW?! but also your makeup always looks so good!
I dated a girl over the summer and she said she was bi and we dated for a few months right and we broke up recently and she said it's because she was trying to figure out her sexuality and she said that she's probably straight but I can feel that she was just trying to push being straight up on her self and it made me feel like a phase I really want to wait for her cuz I feel like she really is bi what do I do has anybody else gone through this
Yeah I have been through a similar situation, I waited for 3 years & ultimately it is not worth it. You will not be priority in the relationship as the other person is busy figuring themselves out & understandingly focusing on themselves. I get you probably know she is actually bi but you can't force someone to accept their true sexuality, add to that the pressure of a relationship & you having to put up with the burden of hiding it because she isn't ready to be out, that is unfair. It must be incredably hard walking away but trust me it will be better in the long run. Just view it as a summer romance & nothing more. You deserve someone who has accepted their sexuality & can focus their attention on you, in an equal relationship.
I got used as an experiment by a girl who told me she was bi at first but them ended up saying she was straight. My advice is though. Don't wait. Because you could be missing out on other great opportunities. Wait if she definitely wants to be with you. Don't when she's still trying to figure herself out because you could end up waiting a very long time and end up hurting yourself in the process
I loved this so much! Wish it was more normalised it today’s society since so many people are bi/pan but when I go out and see more people it’s still talked about it such a negative and rude way! We have come so far but also so far from where we need to be💜💜💜
This is so great! Your experience is pretty much identical to mine. I was asked recently if I’ve ever been treated differently because of my sexuality and I suddenly had the realisation I had, and it’s only ever come from lesbians. It’s really hurtful. Thank you for speaking out about this. 💜
How much easier it would be for everyone, if people could speak honestly without a risk of being judged, ask "stupid" questions without being judged and ridiculed and labelled.... Some people are dishonest and lying (just out of boredom), some people are bored by honesty, some people love playing (power) "games" - I wouldn't want to have anything to do with people from this sentence. And there are many people who are quick (and easy) to label and harass other beings, just for who they are / who they love / who they want to spend live with, what type of family they want to have, etc Thank you very much for your video. I find it a pity that I watched this video 5 years after it was published, however I also firmly believe that everything happens at the right time and certain information, people and places come / appear in our lives when we are ready and at the very least pay attention to them / perceive them / be aware about them. Being ignored sucks big times, too, instead of being honestly and empatically told that (s)he/it is not interested in us (romantically or like... at all).
I can totally relate to how you felt in grade school when you had crushes on your girlfriends and not knowing how to understand the feelings, because it wasn't the "norm". I was raised VERY religious and sheltered back then. I had a lot of friends who were gay/lesbian/bi and I was hit on by a lot of my gay girlfriends, but I was in denial for the longest time because of my religious background. I feel very late to this discovery of myself. I got married very young at the age of 18 and my husband is my best friend and he has been so understanding of me coming out to him(he even had wondered it himself). I have only come out to one other friend. I'm not sure if there is even a need for me to tell anyone else since I am in a monogomous relationship, yet I feel like it is still a part of who I am. I don't label myself because I don't see the need to now, but I don't know. Any input on this? Any similar experiences?... so I don't feel so strange lol
Whoa i'm so glad this popped up on my homepage! never related to something so much in my life... ESPECIALLY the part where you talked about coming on to girls and worrying you are being forceful or creepy, like guys have been to you in the past! How do you flirt with girls?! Bi problems!
Thank you so much for this video! I’m a bi woman and I’ve been single for over a year now with so many false starts with relationships and just feeling helpless on apps. Thank you for sharing your experience. I feel seen. 💖💜💙
💜 this made me feel so validated, being a young bisexual who currently can only picture herself dating a girl makes me feel trashy since everyone talks about bisexuality being a stepping stone to homosexuality BUT hey im still attracted to boys even if i dont picture myself dating one at the moment!!!! thank u mel💚💚💚
saturnpeach this is the story of my life
Clicked to your channel... you’ve gotten a new sub 😊
@@dani-hq6ed we are valid heck yea the world can get rekt!!💚
@@dani-hq6ed thats so sweet thank u so much💚
@@panda839578567659610 we just need to remember that everyone is valid and that it can be a stepping stone as much as not and both things r ok!! 👐 u r so sweet!!💜
I am also a feminine lady attracted to feminine ladies (& masculine men). I generally never disclose my sexuality, for me (in a long-term straight relationship) I don't feel it's necessary, though I used to identify as a lesbian. I do find myself hiding that I am bisexual from female friends sometimes though. I feel as though with some people they are aren't accepting enough, and it does change the dynamic of the friendship for them. For lots it doesn't, but sadly I sometimes weigh up whether I feel it's an important part of myself to share or I want to not feel awkward in situations. It's a strange one, but by this point I've stopped putting any label on myself in regards to my sexuality x
tokyovogue I hope you can come out one day and find supportive friends that don't care about your sexuality.
im accepting of gay people and bi people, but if I am dating a bi girl she will never get my heart i will never allow myself to be emotionally open to them because there gay tendencies will cause them to cheat and for that, if im dating them all they are gettting is this dick!
Katrina Helena I agree 100 percent
Your not alone love I agree 100%
yes I agree! I choose to disclose it to only to very close friends so that they don't feel confused when I talk about girls haha.
I am a gay female and have previously dated a lesbian and found my self always being jealous however now I’m dating a bi female and don’t find my self jealous at all when she is hanging with other people and yet people seem to think that I should be more jealous because “ she is more likely to cheat” which annoys me because anyone can cheat regardless of their sexuality
just started dating a girl at college and honestly the shift in people's perspectives even from 4/5 years ago when i realised i was bi is amazing, even tho it might seem we're going backwards, it's because of people like you that i'm really hopeful!! love your vids xx
SOOO WHO NOTICED THAT LITTLE MISHAP YESTERDAY!? Hahahaha...I explained on IG stories, it was RUclips spazzing out on me once again! ANYWAY show me those purple love hearts for bi pride and please let me know what part of this video you found the most interesting. Any points yous want me to elaborate on in future vids?
💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
Melanie Murphy I tried to watch it then couldn’t find it and felt crazy.
Melanie Murphy I would love ❤️ if you focused on where to meet other bisexual people because dating sites suck for me.
I'm still closeted (at home) but 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
💜💜💜
I am bi and I have told some of my friends (I'm almost 30 now). I just recently found the courage to actually date a woman. It didn't last long.. she made me feel like I was the love of her life just to dump me a few months later. I'm still grieving and I still have feelings for her. She broke my heart like I knew she would, but also helped me find out so many important things about who I am and what I want from relationships. And the funny thing is that no matter if it is with a man or if it is with a woman, I still want the same things: connection, closeness, intimacy, caring for each other, building and nurturing life together.
Why I can't be your lover :'(
I am bisexual and dating a bisexual man rn, kind of scary but just letting things flow haha this helped 💜
That's literally the most heteronormative thing I've heard all day, how is that scary?
who will cheat first lol
You are a true bicon.
*beacon
Or was that a pun?
@@arceuslordofcreation8824 it was a pun.
I read that as bacon 🥓
@@arceuslordofcreation8824 Bicon, AKA a Bisexual Icon
I'm a bisexual girl who has never dated anyone, neither men nor women. Your videos help me so much and always make me proud to be bi! I agree with so much of what you're saying and I constantly find my self nodding along haha
You're the best!!
I'm not bisexual. I identify as a lesbian and only went on my first proper date with a girl yesterday. It went well but sadly nothing will come out of it for personal reasons. Personally I think your beautiful. And whoever will end up being your first date will be lucky :)
Najah Jane Morris aww you’re so kind!! Sorry that it won’t work out between you two, but you only deserve the best!
Ellen Leufstedt Samee
(The bi girl never dated either thing!) 💗💜💙
As a 17 year old bisexual girl who has never dated anyone this video was very interesting. In the place I am in right now I could picture myself dating a girl so much more than a guy. I just find myself attracted romantically and physically to a lot more girls and while I go through phases with that they're basically like 'Wait, am I really bisexual or actually gay?!' to 'Guys are cute but there are a lot more cute girls' 😂
I love the your talking videos so, so much, lots of love from Germany 💚💜
Lol I relate. I like both guys and girls but there are just more attractive girls than guys it's a fact lol.
My sexuality is incredibly fluid so I have this exact internal crisis regularly because I’m dating a man. 😂
agressivesleeper totally relatable 💚
@Bieautiful :3 Bisexuals have phase they won't be satisfied with one gender. Also the ones I've dated are extremely fickle😪.
Lol I feel the same
“Love is a reciprocal thing, infatuation is not.” I think this quote is really interesting and I’m curious to maybe hear you elaborate on this thought. Do you think someone has to love you romantically in order for you to love them romantically back? Or do you think you can fall in love with someone who loves you deeply in a platonic way?
Paige Lalonde yeah I definitely don’t agree with that quote. You absolutely can love someone who doesn’t love you back. You can get close enough to someone to love them without being romantically linked.
Paige Lalonde what I meant by that is to really give love to someone else they need to want to accept that love...being ‘in love’ is literally just chemicals in the brain. Real love grows over time and isn’t definable but all I know from reading a ton about it, experiencing various forms of love etc, is that actual romantic love can’t blossom when it’s unrequited, then most of it remains projection. A person being in love with the concept of another person. Yes that’s intense but it’s not based on anything real. So that’s why I believe I was merely infatuated with this girl because a person doesn’t need to be equally infatuated with you for you to have that experience! But yeah I guess it depends on how you define love. Unconditional love is obviously something we feel for family etc but when it comes to romantic love, if you don’t experience a shared love, giving and taking, growing together, I and many others would class that as mere infatuation/love chemicals turning ya crazy for someone you don’t even REALLY know all that well! On a very personal level, anyway x
@@melaniemurphyofficial how many times did you dated the girls?
I love this video . Both me and my partner are both straight but are expecting our first baby . We both want to be very open bringing up our children and it’s nice to be educated and have this platform to learn 👶🏻❤️💚💙💛
Caitlin O’Donnell you will be a great mom 😁
Thank You Jessica 😘
Caitlin O’Donnell this is such a nice thing to do, you’re gonna do great
tell your baby boy to stay away from bi girls, will save him a heart ache
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜💙💚💛🧡❤️
💜💙💚💛🧡❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜💙💚💛🧡❤️
💜💙💚💛🧡❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
This 10000000% describes my relationship to my bisexuality! Very accurate 😂😫 growing up bi is a journey
I'm not sure I even have a me-dar sometimes ^^ I literally need people to come up to me and say "Hey, I think you are cool, I like you. Let's spend time together." Love from Austria
so many points here that I think lots of people don't talk about in terms of bisexuality because they're worried people will accuse them of not being bi or of being offensive, I'm so glad you explored these issues I'm sure it'll make a lot of people feel a lot less guilty! especially about how much 'easier' it is to date opposite-sex people and how our culture makes that feel more 'normal'
I love this. I’ve always admired how candid you are. Being a bi woman with a girlfriend, I had to learn to navigate certain things differently after only being with men. And I have to agree, Things are different in every aspect, but in all the best ways.
I've always identified as straight - all my infatuation/love/sexual thoughts has always been about men, with zero crushes or sexual thoughts about women. However, in my mid-twenties I had my first proper crush on a girl I worked with. I'm not sure if it's because I knew she was a lesbian and I knew she was into me, but it was the same nervous feeling I'd always got with men and this weird, intense unspoken chemistry. I've still not been with a girl, and the whole thing kind of snuck up on me so I don't know how to deal with it. I guess sexuality isn't as black & white as society tries to say it is, sexuality can be fluid and change with experiences/ people you meet.
I don't date but do find it interesting to learn about and as a bisexual person myself I like to compliment people (usually in my head and on fashion) so being able to look at both guys and girls is always good!
PS. Absolutely love your makeup in this video!
💜
I do the same thing too, most people find it weird that I do. I feel less weird now yay *virtual high five*
I was wondering recently if humans will ever get to the stage where we don't assume a person is straight naturally. Essentially then just seeing everyone as bi/pansexual until told otherwise, or is it just within our nature as humans to assume heterosexuality first. That's the sort of stuff that goes through my head on a daily basis 😂💚
Eilidh Geddes I wish people didn’t assume people were straight too.
me too. I'm bi and when people says stuff like "do you have a boyfriend?" or anything assuming i'm straight it really bothers me because I wish didn't have to explain myself, I wish I didn't have to come out and stuff like that.
Eilidh Geddes I don't think it's in our nature necessarily, but that I think it stems from centuries and centuries of conditioning us to assume everyone is straight. And it will probably take just as long to undo that again
It also probably comes from the whole biological reproduction system as well - given that it favours hetero people
That is probably, apart from the whole biology thing, a matter of probability sort of. Like the majority of people just is straight and ... yeah
so after two years of being in a relationship with a guy, I’m single and bi... this video definitely came at the right time and pointed out a lot of the things I’m feeling! 💛
I'm 99% sure I'm bi, but I'm dating a man and have been for 7 years and I love him and probably want to marry and have a couple kids with him.. Meaning I'll never get the chance to explore my bisexuality ( my bf encourages me to explore it, doesn't want me missing out on anything cause of him. he's given me permission of sorts to explore.... I don't want to do that it would be cheating in my eyes). This makes me think like am I even bisexual if I've never been with a girl? Im torn about the whole "coming out" thing too... I don't think there should be a need, I mean people don't come out as straight do they? It's such a sticky toffee desert 😂💜
My story is similar to yours. I am married and have 2 kids, a 5 year old and a 3 month old. I've been with my husband for almost 8 years and just last month I told him I was bisexual. It was the most relieving and I can tell you that I am much more confident and happy letting that little secret out. He too wants me to explore my sexuality, and I am. I haven't done so, but I will. Not for him, but for myself. I love my husband and I love him even more now that I've told him. He trusts me enough to explore. I do not see it as cheating because we are both aware of what it happening. I agree with you that there isn't a need to come out, I am quite content without telling anyone how I identify, however I am proud to be bisexual. Thank you for your post! It's nice to know there's someone who shares similar experiences.
Same here, together with my husband for 5+ years, never had the chance to explore the other side. But I know you don't have to had experience to identify as bisexual. And I agree on the coming out. I won't hide it when asked, but I don't feel a need to come out.
Crimson Sin you are totally bi and you don’t have to come out if you don’t want to, nobody does! 💚 your relationship status doesn’t determine your sexuality 😘
@@TheAvgiselle same! Thanks for relying to me. Hmm when you put it that way it doesn't sound like cheating because he's told me it wouldn't bother him, but I'd still need a long think about it before I try anything. Also glad to know someone else is in a similar position :)
@@amara560 Me either, I don't want a whole coming thing, I'll tell my closest friends if they ask but I'm not telling everybody I know haha. Thanks for your comment :)
I’m a bisexual in my first long-term relationship (with a guy.) One problem I face is feeling like I’m somehow not valid in the lgbt+ community because I’ve never been with a woman. I absolutely love this video Melanie, thankyou for addressing such important topics like this so openly!
Correct, you are not valid, no one in hetero relationships needs to worry about the gay community.
You are definitely valid, Elle!! Don’t listen to the other person that commented as they spread their hate
Ellie, I relate, I've never been with a woman but I still identify as bisexual. I'm in a relationship with a man but I have had romantic and sexual feelings towards women in the past, but didn't have a chance to explore it due to the fact that the women I were interested in were straight. I also sometimes feel like I'm not valid, but I think we are. Just because we haven't had that experience yet doesn't mean we can't be a part of the community
@@naginoriette7857 You can tell us all you're bisexual, it won't actually make it true. You're straight that's why you went s-t-r-a-I-g-h-t to men instead of exploring those feelings, if they were real you'd have done that.
Lindsey, it's not hate, it's the truth.
@@nicolesmrekar2046 I don't know about anyone else...but I missed the part where you became an expert in the mind of a bisexual person. Did you ever have feelings for someone who you didn't sleep with? Same for us. Didn't dismiss or invalidate the feelings, did it? Same for us. Sorry to hear you can't seem to understand hypocrisy very well.
💜I find my preferences are the inverse of yours: more romantically attracted to women, generally more sexually attracted to men. However, the most common feedback I get when explaining this to people is, "Why not just say you're gay then?" And, as confident as I am in my sexuality and as educated as I am about biphobia, those comments did cause me to doubt myself at one point. I even tried out the gay label for a week (lol) but it's just... not that complicated, y'all. Different shades of purple, that's all.
That makes no sense though - you're sexually attracted to men so how does anyone get gay from that?
Thank you, Melanie. This video (and so many of the messages within it) really resonated with me. As a pansexual, cis woman whose friend group primarily consists of heterosexual females - I particularly related to your commentary on sharing a bed / 'having a sleepover' with people of different sexual orientations. For me, I often struggle with sharing a bed with my heterosexual friends, even ones I am very close with, out of fear that they will be uncomfortable and / or assume I am interested in them. 99% of the time, this is not the case. But even so - I am extremely conscious of the way I act in situations like that. Even just in my day to day life, I often avoid getting changed in front of my friends for the same reason - which brings up memories of being in highschool and feeling the need to get changed for gym class in a private bathroom stall where I couldn't be seen, to avoid making the other girls in my class uncomfortable. Even though I wasn't looking at them, I feared they would think I was. Anyway. Yeah. The point I'm trying to get at is how much of a struggle it is to conduct yourself in a careful, or seemingly 'appropriate' manner in order to avoid people thinking you're interested in them when you're actually not. Which I think all comes down to the misconception that bi/pansexual people are 'attracted to everyone'. Argh. So frustrating. Just like anyone else - we still all have personal preferences.
Yea, but see this through the eyes of others...….straight girls can see just like gay women can that the VAST majority of bihet women don't even ever date another woman, let alone end up in serious relationships with them. So usually both us gay women and straight women consider you straight as well. So they don't see you as a threat just as much as I don't see you as part of the gay community.
💜Love to hear you talk about the differences between sexual and romantic attractions 💜
As a lesbian, I feel disappointed to hear that biphobia is common with lesbians. I’m so sorry for bisexuals that experience this. I have dated bisexuals before, I have never looked down on bisexuals in any way, I just had a hard time understanding. This video made me completely understand (I know everybody is different romantically/sexually). Thank you for the honesty and understanding.
It's shame people think we're not very honest or loyal people, but tbh I can totally understand lesbians wanting to be in a relationship with someone, who is sure they know themselves, and preferably another lesbian. I don't like bi women who pressure lesbians to date them when they don't want to.
There is SO MUCH GOLD in this video to unpack, definitely need a re-watch. I am 29 and also came to the dating/relationship component of my bisexuality quite late so have often felt a conflict between male-centric lived experiences and female-centric future tendencies.
I think a lot of what you are saying here will allow me to take a more informed look at my relationship with my bisexuality - thank you! 💚
As a straight man, while I am ok with it, I could see how on both sides of the divide how people's insecurities could cause issues. Heterosexual Men might think their masculinity would be threatened by dating bisexual women so be put off by it, worrying she might leave them for women at some point. Lesbian women may think they are not committed to women sexually. This may sound silly but you cannot ignore people's insecurities.
YESS SISTA! Loved this!!🙌🏼❤️❤️❤️
I love youu!! ♥️
Give me your whatsap number
Thank you sooo much for this. 💜💚💜 I recently started dating a girl for the first time! I’m finally becoming comfortable with my sexuality, and you have helped me immensely.
Melanie, I LOVE THIS video. It's such a deep insight and I really think it can help many people understand more about bisexuality and the struggles bi people have growing up still today. love u
in my opinion, if you still don't know your sexuality don't be in relationship until you explore your self to not hurt anyone because I see women here say I am married or in relationship and he accept me to explore sorry what is that ???? if man or woman really loves you would never like to imagine you kissing another person and if person makes you do so, then you have to think about it, ???? to see if he or she really loves you or even cheat on you, because he sees it that easy, plus if ur partner really loves you and u said i am gay or bi you will hurt this person so it's better if you explore you self first try to know what you want and then decide,
3 some sex or person who accept whatever will end up one like another in 3 some and mostly you will like one person more than the other one,,,,,, because it's human nature or will end with break up
I haven't actually had the chance to date as a bi(or pan?)sexual as I didn't realise I was bi until after I got into a relationship with my partner. But if I ever do find myself single (which i hope i dont but yknow how life is) I will definitely be using this video as a guide! I also cannot WAIT to watch the Bi Life 😍💚
As a gay identifing female I'm fully supportive of bi girls. Your sexuality is 100% valid , I have dated a bi girl and I never had a problem with her being bi, I never had crazy she will leave me for a guy thoughts. LOL we even had coversations about her type when it came to guys, I would asked her do you think he is hot? About guys when we would be out and joking around. Our relationship did not work out and that's ok. she has a boyfriend now and I'm happy for her. Her being with a guy dose not make her straight as she was not gay when she was with me, she is bi no mater who she is with. Don't let anyone tell you your sexuality is not real. I support you bi gals and lads 💜💜💜
I know it’s 4 yrs later, but thank you so much for this comment. I’m 38 and married to a cis straight male. I have struggled with my sexuality so much up until a few years ago. When I was younger I only came out to a few people. From the few I told, it was my older gay and lesbian friend’s reactions that hurt me the most. I was told I was confused and had to be one or the other, or that they hated bi people and could never date one bc we always ended up cheating or “going straight”. One of my mentors (an older gay man) literally laughed in my face and waved me off as though I had no idea what I was saying. The friends I thought would understand me…made me feel even more lost. After that first year of trying to come out I stopped and went through years of hating myself and trying to suppress my bisexuality (which involved A-LOT of crying lol). I know it may sound silly, but your comment brought those early broken parts of me back to the surface (in a good way). The recognition, validation, and acceptance coming from someone within the community is absolutely everything. So…thank you 😭 🤍
Love this! ❤️ I'm bisexual and for most of my younger years dated only men but was always attracted to women. At the great age of 22 started dated women and have been in a 3yr relationship with my gf 😍 But she does need quite a bit of reassurance that I won't leave her for a dude which sucks to hear 😔 But regardless I love her and all her gayness 😍 and wouldn't dream of being with any other.
Your daddy must be proud
Off topic... But you are stunning!
@@nellamaharg Stop being a troll....
@@Blackbohnstergaming ok. Apologies.
once again, your eye makeup looks so good!! it really suits you
Wow I found so much of what you said totally relatable! Especially when it comes to being attracted to women in a more sexual way compared to a dating way for men.
As a young person and as a student living in a house with my friends I find it hard to figure out what exactly it is I want. I've struggled to figure out what my sexuality is for years and so far I think that I definitely like boys and would want to date them but have a hard time deciding if I want the same from girls. I just think part of me is ashamed or embarrassed to even consider experimenting out of fear of being judged by my friends. I definitely am attracted to girls and think about what it would be like to be with a girl. Is anyone in the same boat? help!
Feel free to experiment, there is no shame even if you're not sure what you're doing 💜
I’ve experimented with quite a few friends, even when I was younger! I definitely feel like I’m sexually attracted to girls but I cannot see myself being in a relationship with a girl. Experiment, do not feel ashamed and judged. You are you and there’s no reason for you to feel these negative ways. You’ll never know what you want until you explore the options
Experiment! your friends won't judge you if they are good friends and if they aren't ...fuck em! :) you be you!
I feel you so much, I have the same problem
Same here
Re-watching as requested 😊💚
thebremner hehehe omg you are a legend 💚
Relate to the the dating app problem. There are soo many couples on apps, which I find so annoying. And all the women are so passive about taking initiative. Hoping to meet a woman without dating app. The ones I've dated outside dating apps haven't worked out yet. Hoping my person will come along soon.
Approaching women is so difficult. I had a conversation recently, where another woman was telling me that "women don't deal with rejection easily. You have to approach them and not wait for them to come to me. Women are shy, they'll have a crush on you for years but now say anything. " i basically felt like she was telling me that if i wanted a woman, i would have to be the "man" to get their attention.
@@lauraholbrook8852 I feel the same way. My sister, who has been with the same person who chatted her up when she was 19, was all "just hand girls a note with your number on it"... as if it's super simple (and I imagine some people would find that approach lame). I've been trying for years, meeting people on apps, sometimes flirting with/ asking people I've met/known out "in real life" or on messenger. It's just been very bad luck with timing or them not being interested beyond a few months. It feels exhausting and humiliating after a while...
@@badis1173 I've dated men as well. And in most cases I made the first moves with men, too. I hate that straight culture approach of men being the ones "required" to make the move or to pay. Here in Norway, we like to share the bill.
@@herreguda6199 i didnt come out til later in life and by that i mean last year before i turned 28. Since I'm married to a man and dont "look bisexual," i took it upon myself to make the first move but i've been met with alot of rejection. Dating apps seem to be difficult when your bisexual. I also feel you on the wanting a long lasting relationship. I totally get wanting to get to know someone and have experiences witb them. I dont have a problem with men approaching me, infact thats all that does. There's even been men that have used their women as a bargaining chip and that's not something I'm into. Dating as a bisexual is rather difficult.
@@lauraholbrook8852 maybe it's hard for you to date women because you are already married to a man? As a lesbian I'm trying to find single girls. Sorry to be blunt
💜 support for all you lovely bi peeps.. as a straight woman I'm always surprised how much discrimination bisexual people get and it needs to stop so 💜 for y'all beauties
a straight girl wouldn't be watching bisexual videos..
Brilliant to hear from another bisexual woman 🙌 I agree with a lot of what you said.
You've just said everything about bisexuality and biphobia in one video that I've always felt and never heard anyone say
Yaaaaaasssss sing it Melanie!!! Love you, also Freddie is biconic!! My bi heart is so ready for Bohemian Rhapsody ❤💜💙
I completely agree with all that you said, and I hope The Bi Life airs in the U.S. eventually
Great video! Thank you, Melanie!
As a bisexual girl I find your videos very interesting and I can totally relate to lots of the topics in it. You're definitely my favourite bisexual RUclipsr
💜 bi dating 😬😂 and particularly in little old Ireland, AND after ending a long term relationship with a man, is a HUGE ball of mess! No Gaydar, no game or flirting skills, cluelessly navigating crushes, it's actually tempting to just play straight! The privilege inherent in being misidentified as straight is undeniable, but is finding a nice femme lady to exchange some heart eyes emojis with really too much to ask? 😂💜
Lisa Healy I don’t think it matters where you are in the world it is never that easy 🙈 I just feel like the clock is ticking and I need to get out there and do it before I get too old 😂
i feel you. i am in the exact same situation, but i am living in germany lol
73% percent? Whaaaaaat that's amazing!
as a female presenting person: Hearing you put into words, how friendship with other girls comes with this whole tangled mess of confusion is SO relieving! That made me understand myself a bit better. Thank you for that!!
Even better watching the second time! "Me-dar" seriously needs to be an everyday word. Really like these types of videos, watching them me feel so understood! 💜
I love love love this video so much!! As a bi girl it's really lovely to hear someone talking about bi dating in such a chill way. Thank you sm for getting so personal and open with us, because I feel as though it could help a lot of confused people out there 💜
This is helpful even for guys who are bi or anyone. Pls make more of this kinda videos.
I am crying, there were so many points that you touched on that I can relate to. I definitely will be watching the Bi Life cuz I feel I have a lot more to learn about people and myself. I have not had the best experience with men particularly my ex, so I just kinda flip my miggle finger to men for the past 3 years and not battered an eyelid towards them. ILY
interesting..
@Bieautiful :3 I am well aware how sexuality works. Probably needed to clarify that I meant I did not have a physical attraction to men as my ex a guy was sexually abusive. I have known that I am bi since I was 13
@Bieautiful :3 No problem and I'm thank you 🙈🙈🙈
Hey Melanie, I've had the same experiences/problems online dating and have since deleted my accounts. Less drama!
I'm glad it's being said more that monogamous bisexuals exist! Relationships bring so much more happiness than throw-away, "instant gratifications". Trust and loyalty are very important and I agree that communication is key in and throughout any relationship. Thanks for sharing. Lisa (single and looking, haha ;D / England, U.K.)
Such a great conversation.
I recently came out as Bi but
As someone who doesn’t have a lot of queer people to talk to about it, this kind of video is super helpful and comforting.
I saw an ad at the beginning of the video and that made me happy for you!
Rewatching because it's a great vid and you deserve the views 💚
Videos like this are so important. I’m a lesbian but I’ve always wanted to experiment with a guy. I know that I am not sexually attracted or romantically attracted to men but I still want that (consensual) experience. But because of biphobia, and me being biphobic. I haven’t tried men and I’m scared to in case women don’t want to be with me because they think I’m bisexual. And I know that’s awful thinking but that’s what I’ve been trained to think. And a lot of my lesbian friends seem to think it’s a great thing that they would date a bisexual. Like yes of course you should date a bisexual, just date who you are attracted to but it was a case of, I’d say “is that not a bit biphobic” and they’d say “no, I’ve dated bisexuals” as if that makes them not biphobic ???? Small rant over. Love you videos
My guess is that with lesbians who have some biphobic behaviours, they may have had bad experiences with bi people in the past. I identify as lesbian but would have no problem dating a bi woman. I also feel that bi people sometimes experience more animosity from the LGBT community than from straight people and that's pretty sad.
I’m Bi too...but most of the people here in Philippines misinterpret it as gay and don’t believe in any other sexual preferences. Gosh!
12:10 That's one of the biggest things I've noticed about female friendships... girls are usually more intimate with each other, more physical, and more open with their female friends, which makes it hard for bi women to decipher if an interaction with a female friend is platonic or romantic. I have never been in a relationship with a girl so I don't have much experience with this yet, but when I was single, it was definitely hard to determine if a woman was straight or bi without asking her, especially with some of my female friends who are very physical and open with other females. That's probably one of the tougher parts about dating the same sex, learning how to interpret nonverbal signals
16:40 Do you think you could potentially make a video about how you learned about same-sex sex? What you discovered in your research, about your experiences, and how to prepare? I'm genuinely curious because, again, I've never had a romantic or sexual relationship with a woman simply because I haven't had the opportunity (like you, I struggled with developing feelings for straight women lol)
When this video was posted yesterday, I commented about my eardrums exploding at the start of the video(figuratively speaking)...you'll be glad to know they are fully intact!
I wanted to know would you ever do a singing video?
Oh and also I LOVE LOOVE LOOOVE YOUR VIDEOS so much
Aine Nee I did one, just once, where I played a recording of me singing a La La Land song while doing my makeup! I think my boyfriend and I wanna do a couple of duet type things though 🤗💚
Melanie Murphy haha yep saw that video and the lil snippets of you in dodie’s vids🧡 just thought it would be nice to see you recording something specifically to do with singing cause I watch a lot of covers etc!! Can’t wait for that video idea with you and Thomas though(hopefully!), sounds so cool😍🧡
Imagine having to focus on your sexuality like this. The narcissism and self obsession by people living in western world prosperity.
Lust is fleeting, love is not.
When we first fall in love with someone, we tend to fall in passionate love, as psychologist Jonathan Haidt puts it-the birds are singing, the bees are buzzing, and we can't keep our hands off each other. But as marriages progress, passionate love drops off radically, and companionate love gradually rises-the kind of love that carries you through thick and thin.
as a lesbian who once identified as a bisexual (but ya know compulsory heterosexuality), this video made my (potential) dating life seem alot easier. i feel like i’ve learnt so much. i’ve always been scared to be offence or harmful to anyone i end up with and this video made it seem not so scary! so thank you!!
same here!
even though i'm a trans lesbian woman, i still relate so much, even though for me it's more of a "before/after transition" thing
This came out at the perfect time yesterday because the girl I like asked me if I'd go to the dance with her! 💜 I was sad to see it deleted but now I can rewatch. 🙏💜
I was afraid to come out to my friends, afraid they would treat me differently, or talk to me behind my back.A few days ago my friend (lesbian) came out and everyone took it so well that i was inspired to come out as bi and everyonr was lovely and nothing changed.But youtubers like you helped me muster up courage and realize that my feelings were normal and valid.thank you! Please always keep making videos
the reliability of this video is insane
I’m a Gay man. Dated a bi dude once and wasn’t comfortable about him being bi. I broke it off. He swore over and over he was more into guys. I still let him go. Best decision ever. He is about to get marry to a woman lol. Not worthy.
You broke up with someone because they r bi? That hurts
i came out at 40 after i noticed i fell in love and lust with a friend she was straight but gave off at times the wrong signal. it was aconfusing time of my life because i had shut down that side of me since i was young .. living a lie basically . i am now out my box but cant find people on sites and being Bi seems to be a bad thing as i get slated. live around London would love to know groups that would accept me or places to go just to feel me ... this was so needed you just gave me a whole lot of understanding girl
Hi. Thanks for this video. I'm a bisexual woman. I've dated multiple men and women (not at the same time). Like you, I'm also picky. I have noticed that I have different requirements for men and women. They turn me on in different ways.
I also get into what I call "stumps" where I have been more interested in one sex over the other for a period of time. Currently, I am dating a man and I have strong interest in men. My last relationship was with a woman. It tends to flip flop.
I'm very feminine myself, but I tend to take charge in the bedroom with all partners. I'm confident and I usually make the first move. Through all my experiences, I've noticed that I'm very attracted to feminine energy from both men and women. It's great.
Thank you for sharing your story. It's fun to see what us bisexuals may have in common.
Thank you for making this video and being so open and honest, you've summed up so much of how I've felt and it's good to know I'm not the only one who feels this way (especially when I struggle to remember not everyone does). I've always considered myself bisexual, and it does affect my friendships because I am often attracted to people who aren't attracted to me (though this obviously happens with straight people, it does seem more likely with bi people), but so far it hasn't really affected my relationships because honesty and openness have always been my foundation for every relationship I'm in (again, don't really understand how some people are okay with keeping secrets from their partner(s), as it is so important imho).
I'm dating a guy and one of my closest friends is bi too. He asked me before if she was "another half-lesbian" and when I corrected him and confirmed I was met with "oh for fucks sake".. I have absolutely no idea what to feel about this, being bi is basically a part of my identity and this guy I'm dating is NOT reacting well...
Love this video! That bi life show looks awesome. More visibility for us bi's will help others see us as normal and people won't think we're so weird and be so confused by us. There's nothing confusing about us. We just like both male and female people. That's it. 😁
You like men, you only claim to like women to be fashionable. ;)
Tbh I’ve had to discuss/explain almost every topic discussed in this video so many times to other people and it’s so good to hear it from someone else!!! Makes me feel so much better knowing I’m not alone
I had my first relationship with a girl when I turned 14, I was very young and we stayed together until we were both 17, I was so scared back then to mention the fact that I was bisexual and sometimes still I face misconceptions etc, as we all do, I now have a boyfriend and can completely relate with what you said about gender not mattering but it can change how you communicate with that person, when I have dated or been in relationships with women I also find myself being more dominant but when I've dated and being in relationships with men I find this changes and I don't have a dominant role at all, but I like it! I found this very interesting, ,thank you for discussing bisexuality, I also think the new dating programme should be great, hopefully with bisexuality being talked about more stigmas can be eliminated! 💜
I swear this video came out before? Did you repost it because of the description? Xxx I loved it btw 💕
Some how it was accidentally uploaded without permission from the sponsor, this is when it was supposed to be uploaded
RUclips GLITCHED it wasn't ready to go live hahahaha I was so so mad! Was at the premiere for the new movie about Freddie Mercury when it happened so I didn't even notice! RAGING!
Melanie Murphy we love you so much of course we’ll watch it again💚
Have you ever had a fear of telling a man that you are bisexual and not be taken you seriously and instead the guy would just want a threesome instead of a comitted monoagmous relationship? Is this more of a stereotype or do you think people understand bisexuality more nowadays? I’m 20 and a very happy bi 💜💜 Your bisexual vids always make me happy since I am to learn more about myself through them, so thank you Melanie!
yessss thank you melanie for making and posting this video because I've been having trouble around my bisexuality and just overall how to date "in the scene" if you will, and really its just been so hard, I've been feeling alone in my confusion and thoughts, but this changes that. So, thank you!
My mom is very biphobic and homophobic as well. She believes bisexuality doesn't exist. She also believes that gay couples consists of a trans man and a cis man. I'm very scared to come out to her. I'm scared of what her reaction would be. And also i know she'll never approve of me dating a girl. (i apologize if there were any mistakes. My English isn't good)
When you mentioned how the opposite genders bring out a different energy and change the way you interact with them caught my attention. I thought I was the only one who unconsciously did that... Interesting. Thanks for the video!🏳️🌈
It's been many years since I've been on a dating site but I remember the quizzes were big things on OkCupid but they were frustrating because you couldn't change your answer depending on what kind of relationship you were looking for. They let you declare bisexuality but if asked a question like: do you tend to be the more dominant one in a relationship, there wasn't really a way to denote that you would be one way with men but another with women. Or I think you could leave a comment but that wouldn't be included in the algorithm. Apparently some bi people had two profiles that they would cater to one or the other but who really has time for that?
Finally lol. Thank you Melanie for sharing your experience with dating or being attracted to women. You explained really well the complications of figuring out what the girl you’re into wants, be it physically or romantically. You also touched on the anatomy issue, which can be difficult if you’re not used to it. I’m a trans lesbian and have no problem with bi girls, but I know that some lesbians do unfortunately. Anyway, great video. Also, I’m glad you found your person.💚
Thank you for making this video! I am only 22 and just coming to terms with my bisexuality (even though I am still not even 100% sure about that) and it's always comforting to know that it's normal to be confused. I broke up with a guy that I really fell for about 4 months ago in order to figure myself out - and it has been a very difficult process, but things are finally looking up!
I want to thank you not only for this video in general, but for the thought about being more romantically attracted to one gender(s) and more sexually attracted to other(s). I don't know how I missed this, actually, very logical idea in my own course of reflexion about my sexuality - I mean, of course I'm aware that sexual and romantic orientation is two different things but I knowing and realising is not the same, right? So much makes more sense now, when I have this concept in my mind.
Omg, Thankyou so much for this video. Your sexual preferences are identical to mine. I did the 17 year old explore homosexual content, entered a straight relationship and now really wanting to address dating women- it’s so hard breaking the ice with a lesbian online when the ‘bi’ aspect surfaces . Sigh
I love this! I'm a fellow bisexual and a lot of the points you mentioned were so accurate!
I always love to watch your videos about sexuality because you explain your feelings so well, and sometimes I can relate a lot and sometimes not so much. either way it is helpful to know everyone has different experiences figuring out their sexuality and it helps me think about what I want and need in that sense. This might be one of my faves bc yes being bisexual or attracted to more than one gender can be so confusing, and it doesn't help being a little picky with who you date!!
Side note: while watching I couldn't help but concentrate on your hair because it just looks amazing, I just love it. HOW?! but also your makeup always looks so good!
I dated a girl over the summer and she said she was bi and we dated for a few months right and we broke up recently and she said it's because she was trying to figure out her sexuality and she said that she's probably straight but I can feel that she was just trying to push being straight up on her self and it made me feel like a phase I really want to wait for her cuz I feel like she really is bi what do I do has anybody else gone through this
Yeah I have been through a similar situation, I waited for 3 years & ultimately it is not worth it. You will not be priority in the relationship as the other person is busy figuring themselves out & understandingly focusing on themselves. I get you probably know she is actually bi but you can't force someone to accept their true sexuality, add to that the pressure of a relationship & you having to put up with the burden of hiding it because she isn't ready to be out, that is unfair.
It must be incredably hard walking away but trust me it will be better in the long run. Just view it as a summer romance & nothing more. You deserve someone who has accepted their sexuality & can focus their attention on you, in an equal relationship.
I got used as an experiment by a girl who told me she was bi at first but them ended up saying she was straight. My advice is though. Don't wait. Because you could be missing out on other great opportunities. Wait if she definitely wants to be with you. Don't when she's still trying to figure herself out because you could end up waiting a very long time and end up hurting yourself in the process
That's all "bi" girls hunny, all of them are in a phase. Eventually they all end up with men. I'd move on.
@@nicolesmrekar2046 Uum who are you including in the "bi" cateogory?
@@NotAnotherKuromi I made it clear, all bi women, if you're attracted to men at all you've no place in the gay community.
I loved this so much! Wish it was more normalised it today’s society since so many people are bi/pan but when I go out and see more people it’s still talked about it such a negative and rude way! We have come so far but also so far from where we need to be💜💜💜
This is exactly the video I never knew I needed. Thank you so much for uploading. So relatable and so important. Never stop telling your truth☺️
The girl friends always get me confused too lol
This is so great! Your experience is pretty much identical to mine. I was asked recently if I’ve ever been treated differently because of my sexuality and I suddenly had the realisation I had, and it’s only ever come from lesbians. It’s really hurtful. Thank you for speaking out about this. 💜
How much easier it would be for everyone, if people could speak honestly without a risk of being judged, ask "stupid" questions without being judged and ridiculed and labelled....
Some people are dishonest and lying (just out of boredom), some people are bored by honesty, some people love playing (power) "games" - I wouldn't want to have anything to do with people from this sentence.
And there are many people who are quick (and easy) to label and harass other beings, just for who they are / who they love / who they want to spend live with, what type of family they want to have, etc
Thank you very much for your video. I find it a pity that I watched this video 5 years after it was published, however I also firmly believe that everything happens at the right time and certain information, people and places come / appear in our lives when we are ready and at the very least pay attention to them / perceive them / be aware about them.
Being ignored sucks big times, too, instead of being honestly and empatically told that (s)he/it is not interested in us (romantically or like... at all).
I’m 100 % straight but I do like to see what bisexual people like in both genders
Already watched but damn right I'm going to watch it again
Wow this is so spot on to SO much of my personal experience
I can totally relate to how you felt in grade school when you had crushes on your girlfriends and not knowing how to understand the feelings, because it wasn't the "norm". I was raised VERY religious and sheltered back then. I had a lot of friends who were gay/lesbian/bi and I was hit on by a lot of my gay girlfriends, but I was in denial for the longest time because of my religious background. I feel very late to this discovery of myself. I got married very young at the age of 18 and my husband is my best friend and he has been so understanding of me coming out to him(he even had wondered it himself). I have only come out to one other friend. I'm not sure if there is even a need for me to tell anyone else since I am in a monogomous relationship, yet I feel like it is still a part of who I am. I don't label myself because I don't see the need to now, but I don't know. Any input on this? Any similar experiences?... so I don't feel so strange lol
Whoa i'm so glad this popped up on my homepage! never related to something so much in my life... ESPECIALLY the part where you talked about coming on to girls and worrying you are being forceful or creepy, like guys have been to you in the past! How do you flirt with girls?! Bi problems!
Thank you so much for this video! I’m a bi woman and I’ve been single for over a year now with so many false starts with relationships and just feeling helpless on apps. Thank you for sharing your experience. I feel seen. 💖💜💙
Next to the fact, that your videos are amazing and so helping, you are getting so much more attractive through time. I love you!