Getting What You Want Can't Make You Happy
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 7 сен 2024
- This video explains what makes people happy and why getting what you want in life can't do it. It's shocking, but also obvious.
--- Would you like support via 1-on-1 Skype sessions? www.groundedsh...
--- Get my FREE 40 page e-book: www.liveinthemo...
--- Check out my #1 Amazon Bestseller: www.amazon.com/...
--- Use my FREE web app "The 5 Steps": www.liveinthemo...
Link to blog post:
www.liveinthemo...
Noah Elkrief
• Getting What You Want ...
This video is about what makes people happy. More specifically, the purpose of this video is to explain why what makes people happy isn't getting what you want. Getting what you want doesn't have the ability to make you happy because it can't get rid of the thoughts that cause your anxiety, shame, anger, and everything else. What makes people happy isn't achieving goals or acquiring things. Only seeing thoughts clearly can result in being happy.
Hi Maria, what I'm explaining is not a philosophy. What I'm doing is pointing things out. The same as saying "Look at that rock over there, notice how it is round". Look at how people who have what you want aren't happy. If getting what you want had the power to create happiness for humans, wouldn't it create that happiness for everyone? Look how thoughts make you unhappy. Can getting what you want eliminate all of those thoughts? I'm not saying anything about acting in one way or another.
Yes, believing thoughts creates emotions. Not believing thoughts leaves you with peace and freedom in every moment.
Noah when will your new book be released?
😂 I can't get over how adorable he is.
Krystal Catlos :)
It just a thought 😉
Joakim Dernebo ehehheehehe :D
Krystal Catlos this guy is smart
Why does he kinda remind me of Adam Sandler?
Ahh i was in school and my teacher was talking about this subject and was saying that money makes you happy, so i ended up shouting out in class to her "your blinded by society and your blinding others too!" and everyone looked at me and thought for a second and started laughing lol. Stupid teachers blinding kids before they even reach 18 :(.
ScottishSwallow Theres nothing bad about blinding kids.
Noah, you are such a genius!!! I am so grateful that you share this life-CHANGING messages with us!!! Thank you from the bottom on my heart! Love to you, Shannon in Texas :)
this is gold never heard anything like that so easy and true!
haha... it's so obvious but yet such a rare message. Glad you understood it.
See I realized this a while ago and all of my anxiety went away once I became present. And its wonderful because I always thought presence was something different, but it isnt a concept that the mind can grasp, its a complete felt realization. It is realizing "I am" consciousness. Once I totally lost my self-image i was at complete peace, i cried out of joy because i felt so sorry for having to put myself through so much torture, i thought to myself i cant believe that i forgot, i forgot how great i am, i forgot that my thoughts are not real, that i am all that is at the present moment and that the future and the past only exist if i think about it. I then became very afraid because i questioned myself if this was real, it was something new to me yet something so familiar. After realizing that I was one with everything and that I am the observer of my conditioned belief systems my whole life changed. At that point i began to question all of my thoughts, if i even had any. Is this what happened to you? I still have some anxiety sometimes but I don't think about it, its hard to describe, i still feel anger, and different emotions but i let them go and dont buy into them like i used to, i dont tend to identify with them. I still feel like i have a self image sometimes, and i am struggling with my physical health, so i am placing some bit of happiness in the future, as in "i will resolve many of my emotional ups and downs by obtaining good health", this is one strong belief i have been questioning because i have struggled with suicidal depressing, generalized anxiety, agorophobia, and social anxiety. These all have disappeared within one moment of realization. I keep having these realizations occur over and over but I seem to have trouble staying in that state of consciousness permanently. I have faith in myself that the decisions that i am making to remain SOBER and to take care of my body will allow me to more easily and readily stay present. Its funny because over 80% of the thoughts I had disappeared into nothingness. I still have thoughts occasionally but its like i use them on an as needed basis when i need to perform a task that requires thinking. My only thing that i have been pondering about is, why do i still feel emotion if i have no thoughts that come into my awareness to create those emotions. They come and go, negative, positive whatever emotions and I sit with them, but how can there be negative emotion with no thought stream? Is it just subconcious beliefs I still have? Please do respond, I would love to talk to someone who has come to that realization that they are not their accomplishments, their personality, their goals, their duties, their gender, or what i like to say THE EGO.
+Jerzy Roginski
That is awesome! I would love to be able to NOT think or should i say NOT pay attention to my thoughts.. Good for you! I really want to have peace and be free..
Do you still feel this way now? How's it going? I noticed that you suffered from disorder such as depression and GAD and I have to say I do to. I deal with these thoughts of hopelessness all the time and what it to stop. How's it goin ng?
I've been watching your videos for a least 2 months if not longer and I am still having trouble getting rid of thoughts that I know are making me depressed. I am a senior retired nurse and Mornings are a terrible time for me . By late after noon i tend to start feeling better about myself. I am thankful for these videos . Would like to hear more for seniors
You're really effective at getting the basic message across. After watching many of your videos I'm starting to get the idea. All thoughts believed, suck. And freedom from your thoughts is the path to inner peace.
It's been like 10 years of searching, and I finally got it. Left my copy of the power of now on the subway with a note that told whoever found it, to take it and hopefully it would help them as it helped me. Things are just how they are. I love it.
David Distasi haha it's that simple
Yep! Accepting that feeling bad is natural allows you to feel good about feeling bad. Sheesh lol.
Question, do you happen to have any suggestions for putting this into practice? I'm looking for ways to share this with people and experience it as much as I can. I've got a lot of plans, but maybe you have some insight I haven't thought of yet.
Dude, you've made me look at life so differently. You changed my perspective a lot. Thank you
He tells us the hard truth..but adorably.
What an eye-opener. Thanks very much for your advice. It makes me feel better :)
You're welcome Anugrah!
This guy is Buddha of the 21st centuary
Noah, You are a very clever analyst and remind me of my Gestalt therapist back in NYC. I think you are using the same mental acuity you did at Goldman Sachs to help us 'dummies' who get lost in our mental garbage. I find your videos very helpful and also just enjoy your charming, intelligent self. Thanks for your generous effort.
I wish I can only notice the good side of my life and appreciate what I have
stort tak skal du have Noah,glad for at jeg lige fandt dig,jeg glæder mig til at høre mere og endnu mere fra dig Noah :) smukke tanker fra mig til dig,og tak igen.
Thank you for making this!
I really think your methods are very systematic and very easy to get it.
I have never seen things in this way before so I am always suffering, but you have made these things become so easy to overcome.
I like the way you are saying welcome. ...😍your laugh make me happy also.😍😍😍.God Bless youuuuu.your are the visible God for me.really. 😊
Also don't forget the problems created by getting what you want: I wanted a PC with a RTX 3090 and now I have it, and I don't have enough space
in my apartment to put the thing. I bought a new wider screen with it and the same, it's taking a lot of space. Now I created myself a problem out of nowhere, cause I don't even have time to play games, and my laptop wasn't very powerful but was totally enough to play game here and there, without taking any space.
I know some people would kill to get that computer I have, but I just see new created problems.
Believing that something is "bad" doesn't eliminate the "bad" thing. It just creates more suffering and hatred. If you lose your idea of "bad", then you can follow your heart. It may lead you to change certain situations in the world, and it may not. But, following your mind is just going to create suffering because the only cause of suffering in the world is believing thoughts. That is what creates corruption, greed, poverty, etc
you are right
You are just the sweetest thing ever. ❤️
Love you Noah! You've helped me a lot through your videos to deal with my negative thoughts when they are overwhelming
Once again thanks for making this video.
The thoughts of learning to appreciate things makes us happy 😊
Your video is so helpful. Gratitude for what you are sharing, Noah.
This is so helpful.... I need this message daily! Thank you!
Amazing knowledge in this videos. Genius thinking. we should all be thinking this way.
Normally, we just believe what we are told without really investigating. Glad you were open to something radically different!
Hi Noah. I love your videos. Thank you for taking the time out to post them. They are probably helping a lot of people. You have a really good grasp on social anxiety and other issue such as anger, unhappiness, procrastination and living in the moment etc. It seems like some of your stuff lines up with mindfulness. Just curious, in your book you said your thoughts just disappeared one day. Can you elaborate on that a little more in detail? Thanks.
I really like your videos, and you honest talk ! GOOD LUCK
Thank you for making me happy in this moment when I'm watching this video!
You're awesome!!!!! Yeah
Thank you very much for sharing this with us Noah :)
It’s good to be rich!!
Since positive thoughts aren't enough, there is no need to pursue having positive thoughts. Instead pursue the truth. Discover what is true and real in any moment, instead of following your stories about what you see and hear in any moment. "Good" and "bad" are just thoughts and don't exist as part of reality.
Noah Elkrief Good or bad don't seem tangible, but pleasure and pain are real. What can I do if my belief is that pleasure is necessary for happiness? How can I disbelieve what I experientially know is real and true, not in my imagination. Is it possible one can be happy while always feeling physical and emotional pain and never feeling physical and emotional pleasure?
Noah, your videos are wonderful and really realistic and i am really happy that i finally found someone who convinced me .. but i experienced anxiety and i couldn't fall sleep easily at night after watching some of your videos ... why this is happening ? before that i was sleeping normally..
thanks man you just hit the nail on the head
Hi Noah, your videos have helped me so much. I know your thoughts are mainly focused on "living in the now". and acceptance. in addition, I feel it's also helping me become more successful and closer to my goals. Achieving the goal itself and getting a car or a house won't make the feeling go away, and doing something like losing weight won't make other feelings stop coming up like "fat is "bad" or the shape of your face is "wrong " " by society . However, I feel like being successful, begins with your type of thinking. Any type of change, at ALL if you choose to do so. Must begin with knowing and accepting where you are. I hope you know that , your way of thinking got me out of a rut. I lost weight to be healthy. I have a new job. I have my drivers license now. And I am in a peaceful, self accepting state of mind, thanks to your thoughts you've put out here.
I feel good I am happy I feel I am happy
External things like love from other people can help us a lot coz we´re social creatures, we´re pack creatures and we need one another, it may not be the perfect solution but it helps a lot just like money it doesn´t solve all of life´s problems but it helps a ton
Anna Maria Gonzalez it helps keep the illusion held up too
Thank you Noah, you are awesome
so if i am say i am happy withmyself or i am at peace, then that means the opposite is true, and therfor i shouldnt label myself as anything otherwise when i'm not these things i will be unhappy?
Perfect worrying to not move
Dualité
Noah I love you❤❤
What if having enough money (nothing extra for any vacation) gives me peace, but one month, I ended up with extra expenses. At the same time, my employer gave me extra work that is not part of my regular work (I'm a secretary who now have to box up the entire office and lift so many boxes because my boss decided to move to another building), and at the same time my boss didn't think to pay me extra for the additional assignment. He believes that my regular rate during work hours is enough pay for the packing I did during those work hours. In this case, not getting what I want (compensation for extra load of work) created a financial discomfort (not being able to pay the month's entire credit card bill, as I normally do), which caused deep, disturbing resentment towards my employer...I would appreciate some feedback and suggestions on how to stop being resentful while I'm looking at a very real result of not getting what I want... Thank you.
Hola Noah, thank you for cheering all this. Any thoughts in how to "deal" with alcoholism?
I have everything but I always want more. I have a boyfriend but I'm constantly going back and forth about if I want to be single and party but if I break up with him I will want to be in a relationship. I'm so screwed up like I can't make up my mind.I'm so happy with him but then there are always those feelings of my wanting more. Help
You may have to address issues of fears of being alone, and of relying on others to give you happiness. I suffer from those. Noah has those videos also. I recommend watching those.
Thanks... this really helps me...
u should also do a video about how to be attractive in relationship
I've been watching a lot of your vids Noah, and I'm finding them really helpful, thanks! One thing I've not quite being able to resolve : I know you've said thoughts are pretty much the origin of suffering but my source of suffering is a little different... I get lots of recurrent ugly rashes all over my body (every doctor I go to say it's a something different but most say it's a variety of eczema)... really ugly and painful and it's crushing my life.. do you think there's a way to reduce this form of suffering to thoughts?
I'm not sure if you're still making vids but a video on physical illness and suffering would be really helpful to me at least.
Thanks again.
Hi! Not sure if you still have these rashes, but if you do, that is perfectly okay. Because yes, it is not the rash that is creating suffering, it is your thoughts ABOUT the rash that causes your suffering. You know this simply because you know that it is possible to be happy with eczema, and that other people ARE happy even though they have it! You have labeled your rashes as "Bad". But where is bad? It's just a thought. I understand that it is hard to be happy during PHYSICAL pain. But just observing the pain without labeling it bad can be helpful. I reccomend looking at Mindfulness Based Pain Management on youtube.
Make so much sense thanks 🙏
Thanks. I think so too haha
Very good talk. This reminds me a lot of the idea of inherent existence, nothingness and books by the Dalai Lama. If you embrace this ideology how do you ever get or do anything ?
Thank you for this info. So what will make us happy then ? what is the secret ?
So peace is the 'purpose'? Now when you skip all the thoughts you probably feel, especially when they are bad, a relaxation. But does this ever comes to an end and is the peace just the release of thoughts or is peace something that is beyond and independent of (losing) our thoughts? So is peace a kind of verb or just a natural state of human nature? If the last one how can this make us feel happy?
Thanks!
I speak Spanish so please excuse my grammar, how can I stop judging?, I mean, what about principals, what about injustice, defending what I believe is " fare" is only an ego cause? should I just let those situations be and do nothing?
U are very funnie :) very philosophical I just love the way u speak :) u always give me strenght :)
And ur voice is like I now you :)
Noah i would love to have a skype Session with you. i live in Germany, (6 hours ahead) time difference. I've watched many of your videos and they have given me some freedom around suffering. i seem to have mastered suffering my whole life. Now that i know that my thoughts are responsible, i still can't break through though being unhappy or grasp your explanations. I would like to be free from this inner turmoil, be at peace and be happy forever. I'd like to love, not judge, be with things just the Way they are and just the Way they're not.
I AGREE WITH EVERYTHING YOU SAY.... BUT HOW---HOW---HOW DO YOU STOP YOUR THOUGHTS? P.S. LOVE ALL YOUR VIDEO'S
how can i address the thoughts that i am not worthy ,lovable
You can start with my free ebook and web app links in the description.
Thks
It would be cool if you made a video about being materialistic
Hello, Noah. I'm an avid viewer and thank you for your inspirations.
I have some questions
sometimes i feel Nihilism from this point of view. yes, everybody can stop suffering from being dependent of those things. then, does that mean we should have no goals in life, since goals give lacking, and dependency?
also, what about passion. what about motivation. if you can be happy without anything, is there any meaning for doing something, is there any meaning of the world surrounding us. What about inherit, if we are okay with our own, all of us might not choose not to have marriage and children, and human generation would end.
Isn't it somewhat too selfish point of view, especially for modern world standard which requires us to have some minimum qualities to survive, and give us some standard of good and bad. What about suffering from the reality of food and shelter.
also about good and bad, you said about those are just thoughts and can be thought differently, but what about murder, rape and violence, or at least harming other's life territory.
there are some more.
I question these to you because I find your ideas deep in the core.
I thank you so much for sharing these precious videos.
+high running This is not a theory, a philosophy, or a point of view. This is reality. What I do is help people see the difference between reality and imagination. The direct experience of reality is absolute peace, freedom, and love in every moment. No fear to talk to people you want to talk to. No fear to to be authentic. No fear to dance and be creative. No barriers to love others because no fear of getting hurt. And the list goes on and on. Yes, your mind will not know what to do because all it knows is "what will make me happy?" But then you begin to follow your heart/intuition. And that's when life starts getting quite amazing. There is absolutely nothing wrong with pursuing any goals, interests, or passions. These things will only create suffering if you look to them as the key to happiness. You will never be able to understand what I am speaking about because it is too far away from how you have been trained. Don't see this as a philosophy that you are trying to decide whether to buy into or not. That is not what this is. If you are suffering in a moment, and you want to lose that suffering, you can use my work to help you lose it. If you want to keep that suffering, keep it. If my work doesn't help, forget about it then. That's it. No need to figure out whether you want to apply what I speak about to everything that will ever happen in your life.
+Noah Elkrief thank you very much for reading my comment and spending time to respond. you are right. I have been watching your videos and thinking about it. thinking about goals, i realized that it is my upbringing, my surroundings, country which gave me beliefs of goals, success (for me, mostly academically). and realized the goal itself is a result of deficiency, and that it may give false expectation of happiness that may even backfire to depression, since it can never be the ultimate thing (like unhappy celebrities and wealthy people). many of your videos are deep, and take time to figure out.I am still figuring out the things i want to do. I am a graduate student from engineering, and engineering (or academic study) seems itself as a view that the world (of knowledge or technology) is insufficient and the goals to reduce it, but as feeling insufficiency does not give peace, you should not feel those insufficiency and be ok with things and not try to research and design devices? it seems a contrary to my major and currently i am in confusion. I sometimes find people who find the joy of finding out those incompleteness and improving the understanding (although whether they have an ultimate goal or not, i don't know).I thank you very much. I have seen some self improvement stuff and you are very deep (especially with false happiness) and would hope you could give much help too others being known more. If i have time enough, i would like to translate a video of yours in korean, if you give permission (but can't guarantee)p.s. it would be nice if you make a video of addiction (drugs, videogames, tv, excessive eating etc) since this is one of my, and a lot of peoples suffering. p.s2. addiction and bad habits seem similar, but i am confused by the word 'bad' right now. i realized it is a belief made from modern life belief for the pursuit of the goal of efficiency, but does that mean you should realize that and justify your bad habits to not change since it is just a belief and standard from modern life standard. I do understand that having a goal to fix it will give suffering at the moment, especially when it's hard to change since we can't control our beliefs and thoughts.p.s3. even though realizing the things you said, and thinking out on my own. I keep forgetting and do the same things, getting back. i think it's because deep inside i did not completely disbelief the things and justified it. it would be nice if you can tell how to not forget and go back without temporary realization.
+high running i thought i divided in paragraphs, but it seems comment of a comment has no paragraphs. sorry for the inconvenience.
why dislike this??
Dude's legit! lol thank you
cnotenesmith You're welcome cnotenesmith
All I want is to be happy, but getting it won't make me happy....?? I'm in big trouble.
Well technically it won't MAKE you happy because you will ALREADY be happy by the time you get it. It makes no sense to speak in terms of cause-consequence when there is 0 timespan between 2 events. Geting an accident doesn't make you get an accident, the accident is already had. In fact, it shows that happinness is a moment to moment thing, being happy once doesn't guarantee you'll be happy forever, everyone knows that.
Is your book available in other languages?
MaryStellaRose It is being translated to spanish, danish, and german now.
OUCH
Okey. You think that hurting people is bad,then you dont hurt people. I think we should have some ideas of what is good and bad.
The reason you would want to hurt someone is because you think they did something bad to you or bad in general. The only other reason is if you genuinely believe that you will get what you want by hurting someone. If you remove the thought that what someone did is good or bad or if you remove the thought that what you want is something you think is "good" then there would be absolutely no necessity to hurt someone. We are not by nature creatures of hate. Love is natural to us. It's just through our experiences and memories we become clouded and create thoughts or ideas about good and bad.
Then how do we address the thoughts that make us unhappy?
Feel free to download my free ebook or use my free web app. You'll find the links in the description.
Were you inspired by Eckhart Tolle?
Eric it's all the same man, tolle, Noah, the Buddha, Jesus, it's ancient teachings.
Getting a wife would make me happy.
😂
Fight Club Philosophy
I would like to meet you
Sara thavy he counsel's in new York I think or on Skype.
et hjerte af "guld" du må have :)