Dating EXPERT Matthew Hussey’s Advice For Finding Love | Aubrey Marcus Podcast
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- Опубликовано: 26 янв 2021
- There is a reason that Matthew Hussey is one of the most sought after dating and relationship experts in the world. In this show he sits down with my wife Vylana Marcus and I, and we dive into the hard fought learnings from all of our prior relationships. What results is a sort of guidebook of tips and traps, to help illuminate a path to success for any type of relationship--Single, married, or polyamorous.
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About the Podcast
Founder of Onnit and modern philosopher Aubrey Marcus asks the important questions: How do we find our purpose, wake up to who we truly are, have a few more laughs, and human being a little better?
The Aubrey Marcus Podcast brings in world-class guests from the fields of athletics, health, business, fitness, science, relationship and spirituality, and asks them to open up about the failures and successes that define their wisdom and character.
Follow me on social to keep up with the latest, and meet many of the incredible guests we’ve been honored to have on the show.
Vylana helped me tremendously by saying this. I wept when I heard her words and it's brought clarity to me. "The most loving thing to do for everyone is being in truth and being honest with yourself. You might think it's the most painful thing your subjecting them to,.by telling them the truth that the relationship doesn't align for me and I am going to move on and it is painful, but it is the most loving thing you can do. Because it's the truth, otherwise your sitting in misery and dishonesty with people."
It’s the first time I’m hearing this quote and yes I completely agree! I had to end things with my ex 3 days ago due to lifestyle differences that wouldn’t align in the long-term and I knew it’s better to speak my truth and end things now rather than later. It still hurts and he was devastated, but I know it’s the best for the both of us no matter how painful it was.
this interview makes me feel even more hopeless- hooray for all the perfect people who have someone to love them. the rest of us are just SOL.
@@Dania.q good for you. It takes courage and maturity to do that. Better luck next time. You’ll find him. I did
@@DiraMcClintock thank you I appreciate your kind words 🙏
K😊 hi
I’ll bbe get HH o
This is such an enlightening conversation about love and relationships. Please consider having Matthew on again in the future.
You don't want too fall in love with potential... been there and its painful. See the reality..
Well said 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
powerful wisdom
Harry Potter has come a long way. Happy to see him thriving.
lol exactly my thoughts!
That's hilarious I was thinking the same!
He reminds me of him too 😄
It’s the voice. I think of it every time I hear him 😂 he even says he’s drinking a special potion
I can't unsee this!
This conversation should be a prerequisite for everyone in or out of a relationship. This is the work! Such great content and it's all at our fingertips.
only for people who are lovable. sadly I am not one of those
Such a deeply honest, insightful, raw, loving & confronting conversation on relationship.
I’m grateful to have found you guys. Much love.
All three are very pleasant to listen to. ⭐️ There’s Something about each person who knows how to listen and hold space for the other to be their best selves. This was therapeutic thank you! 🙏🏽
Omg that was an amazing conversation!!! You guys covered many subjects. Having friends to discuss topics like that with this level of energy and self awareness is priceless!!! Thank you all to take that time and share it with us ❤️🙏❤️
I think it is so important to have the 'uncomfortable conversations', regularly, to maintain healthy relationships.
This is the exact conversation I needed to hear for what I’m going through right now. Thank you for having it and sharing!
With respect, you guys, all three of you forgot the #1 key factor in a successful relationship - "friendship". None of you ever mentioned the word, that 'friends first' is a key ingredient in any successful relationship. I know. 35 years +
On a serious note...this video spoke to my soul. I’ve shared it with several friends because it’s so powerful! It sparked so many interesting and honest conversations... so much wisdom spoken. Thank you 🙏
This dialogue is so much more than why you are still single and can’t find love. Don’t be distracted by the title. It’s a fabulous dialogue about love and relationships!
I can sense the love and friendship between all three of you - it is so beautiful to see listen to such authentic conversations. Matthew dropped so many nuggets of wisdom!! Much love to you guys.
This is one of the best interviews on the subject(s) on here. Thank you, Matthew, for being so clever, articulate, thoughtful, and realistic. It's very refreshing.
Ahh man! What a sweet surprise!! The last episode with Matthew was golden - so much valuable content. The camaraderie between you guys and the expertise shows. I've been secretly hoping for another Matthew Hussey appearance on the AMP podcast :D Looking forward to watching!
I ending a toxic relationship over a year ago and I knew that if I wanted to venture into a healthy relationship I had to spend some time with myself, which btw I had never done since I was 17 years old. I’m now ready to venture out and this video is incredible! Thank you so much!
From here it seems like a beautiful perfection that we recreate opportunities to dissolve the stories that no longer serve us...is it misplaced energy if it is the lesson we still need to learn, even if it is again and again and again? I love the way misalignment dissolves into trust and resonance, and then back out again, as we grow through so many layers. Much love to all three of you, and to every one here.
I am stoked for this one :) Projecting what the relationship could be instead of looking at what it is really... that is quite profound to think about as I fell into that trap #damn
Amazing information and pinpointed so many things to become more aware of 🙏🏻. Something that triggered me was when Matthew brought up about women having kids and fitting into their lifestyle. I guess i never realized how much that had an effect on me and as to the fact I thought i was going to have children and “ran out of time”. Im okay with my decision not to have kids but if i knew this was going to be my life path... HOW I WOULD have done things so much differently in my younger years. Being 41 without children and no longer married was not at all where I thought i would be... but with a ton of self work/soul searching, i have become comfortable with my path. Thank you guys, the trio was a nice touch 👌
Such an amazing episode and I’ve been following both of you for a few years now and your message/s resonate even more with me now than they did a few years ago! Thankyou for everything you are and doing in the world 🙏🏼❤️
Matthew hitting the nail on the head with that poetry line. Have me some real clarity about how to decide if anything you’re doing is worth the investment of energy: just ask if it is still writing poetry in your life. Absolutely love it. Thanks for this much love family
I am 33 years as well, I never felt I wanted kids. Obviously, hormones has kicked in - something has changed. But I am very much dedicated to my spiritual growth, the need for a partner it seems slowly transcending ( I am single and celibate for 7 years ) And the answer for having kids. Is simply surrender. Whatever be, will be.
I am similar, still younger, but similar about the rest. Interesting journey we are on. Fearfully confident and surrendered on some levels and active on others.
Yeah same, we should have girls night slumber party?
I'll behave, it'll be like I'm not even there.
I had chosen positive words for myself yesterday and one was sacred. This video pops up and I literally started dating about a week ago. I went from single to sacred and I know I am sacred. I am that I am. ♥️🙌♥️
This was a beautiful podcast and I am grateful too you beautiful souls for doing this not only did i resigned with it but I felt it deeply as this has been a subject I have struggled with in my life
Matthew Hussey always blows my mind. What an excellent conversation!
Wow! Matthew I just found you and sharing you with a son and daughter, adult children. I’m 71 now and time! Key for me. Ran from second marriage 4 years ago and just like you are saying why did I waste so much time and now with almost 2 years of covid and shut off. I am a Canadian living near Toronto. I love where I am now, very independent. University grad: psych, sociology, education. Life has given me a few careers: chemistry tech in hospital but mainly elementary teacher for almost 30 years. I have a wonderful group of women friends. Volunteer in many community programs. Live for music: sing in 3 choirs. Part of me wants to prove I am attractive to someone who has relationship competency!! Of course your term. Trying to wipe out all the horrible acts and words put on me. They are not the truth. First marriage 7 years got out with 6 month old son, second marriage 36 years and did not have the term red flags but I had acres of them from the first year. I know I shouldn’t make blanket statements. But I never can see myself cohabitating. I am very protective of my space now. I will share parts. Go to theatre, concerts, cooking classes, whatever. My children live in Vancouver and Seattle. Twin sister in Victoria BC. I just moved into a fabulous apartment and can lock the door and go for months or whatever. I better stop talking. You just mentioned about working with women of many ages. Thanks for all your wisdom. It is authentic to me. Do you ever come to Canada? We just opened our borders to the US soon Canada to US. I am double vaccinated with Pfizer. Take care Karen
Hello it's work I can not believe am with my lover again contact him
±²³⁴⁸¹⁰²⁶⁸⁹⁵⁷⁰
"raising children, we are the steweard of their sovereignty"
couldn't be said better, Vylana
Thank you Aubrey Marcus. You inspire me and you are helping me through my journey that I recently started. Thank you for propelling me deeper than I thought was possible. I appreciate you
The most eloquent version of the conversation I’ve had with my loved ones. Thank you for this
So simple and so amazing! I loved this from begging to end and feel like l need to share it with so many! Thank-you x
Such a valuable conversation to listen to, thank you for doing this and sharing it with the world !!
That was excellent! A three some I was delighted to be a part of!
This was a lovely conversation, Thanks so much for this!
That "narcissistic" urge is biology's desire for eternal life. We live on through our seed, we are the fruit of our ancestors. I was a very young and single mom and I have learned SO much through this experience. I guided her and continue to be a guide much differently. Who you align with is SO important. Being clear in why you want to become a parent is so important.. even when it comes to adoption. Questions to ask when adopting.. Do you care about the child's birth parents? Their birth family? Can you see yourself as a co-parent to the biological parents? Are you willing to see healing their family dynamic ( which highly influences humanity's collective healing)? Can you let go of your ideas of the "nuclear" family in such situations? What about foster care? So many possibilities to consider..
One of my favourite episodes in awhile. Thank you for sharing!
ahhh I'm so excited for this episode!!
Rewatching this because of Vylana! Real beauty inside and out. So insightful too. Please bring her back again 😍 xx
Loved it. You guys clearly having good time ! Real stuff. All my love and big thanks for each of you .
Such a great discussion! Epiphany! Seeing the other person's potential (which I did all the time...) actually allows us to not focus on OUR OWN potential - and then we often use that to say: Well I was so focused on "HELPING" you reach your potential (that I projected onto you) that I didn't have time (GAVE UP for you!) my own potential. All the while we can delude ourselves in thinking that we are just such a great person to give it up for them....Luckily I was done with that some years ago, not looking back.
I really need this at the moment! Thank you Aubrey!
Amazing podcast, so enlightening and it really resonated with where I'm at right now. Thank you 🙏
Excetioanl Podcast. Beautiful conversation. Timeless wisdom, and heaps of warm, lovely insight and vibes. Great relationship discussion.
This video truly helped me end my relationship the right way. One that wasn’t serving to either of us anymore. Thank you guys for the wisdom 🙏🏼
I Hope You are well
This is a beautiful conversation. Thank you.
Great and such different but high level perspectives 🙏🏼🔥 thank you
What a great conversation and share of insights and experiences!!...Amazing trio!
Might have to listen to this one ten more times to really let all the lessons sink in
Agreed I'm back for round 2.
Perhaps get your relationship advice from people that have been together for longer than 2 years
Wow 💥 great episode. Great ending. Profound. Thank you 😌
Love this great conversation !! Lots of meaningful take aways 💖Mathew Hussey !!
Such a great conversation. Thanks a lot for this.
"a lovers decency, is the absence of strategy". gorgeous.
Thank y'all so much dearest 🌹
Y'all such an inspiration 🥰
Appreciate y'all from the bottom of my heart 💖
Be Blissful Eternally 🙏👼🌈
Wow I am just loving Matthew Hussey’s recent videos, so much wisdom and depth
I absolutely agree with finding yourself be true to yourself.. you will connect with the same kind of self
Excellent topic, again!!! thank you .
Some many nuggets of gold in this conversation
I've never understood people looking for a partner that checks the boxes on their lists because to me....these kinds of deep meaningful heartfelt and authentic conversations are what I look for. Vulnerability, compassion, loyalty, curiosity, humor, passion and having goals are what I want but all of those things look different for everyone. This whole episode just shows the level of all of those things from 3 people who are self aware and observant, that in itself is beautiful.
Expectations will always disappoint, because no one lives up to fulfillment.
@@travis6694 Expectations and standards are two different things though. I don't expect people do be those things but that's why you have standards in place to not settle until you do. 🙂 That's just me
@@ItsJennNotJenny if it’s healthy and reasonable and realistic then yes, The culture these days are dissatisfied with everything and looking for more/better. People expect others to fulfill them, that’s why you never make a human being your everything.
Hey guys thanks for this podcast. You touched on a ton of relatable idea as a person that thinks about this stuff alot!🤗
Always have been a fan of Matthew, this conversation was fantastic.
I needed this. Thank you!! 🙌🏼
Great conversation, loved all the gems of relationship wisdom from all of you! Namaste🙏🌞Truth, Love...
One of the most profound and sobering interviews for me. I love Matthew's delivery and Aubreys playground attitude of inviting people from all walks of life to insure expansion in the conversation - bravo!
I have come to the same conclusions in my life and can absolutely agree with everything that was being said. 👌💖
What a wonderful epilogue about poets and no poetry... A blessing.... Thank You 💜💗😇
This really helped me right now. Thanks!
Love love love the poetry analogy !!!
Very insightful, thank you.
Infinite Love, Aub!
I might sound nuts, but I can't wait to meet you some day. I was picked as a candidate for one of the "Fit for Service" retreats, but I couldn't afford the cost at that time. But I somehow have a deep knowing that our paths will find another way to cross 👁
Aho, and Hokahe ♡
incredible interview - so very good. thank you
I can relate and love every single word of this 🙏 Thank you
Beautiful interview, thanks for sharing!! 🥰🙏
So good!!
Amazing Episode
Great episode!
Such a wonderful woman...so authentic
Writing is extremely important, is the best way to let go your thoughts and feelings, after that I feel relieved and more clear. Loves this talk, thank you :)
Needed this today 💜
What a great video with amazing people, has made me think about my life and what I really want. Thank you guysx
Wow!!! Such an amazing conversation ✨🌸
Great convo. I learned so much.
Great brilliant questions Matthew! 👏👏👏👏
Digging the Shipibo dress and moonstone necklace Vylana.
“What are the trash cans of your relationship?” I loved that part...Absolutely going to use this. Thanks!
So good!
Yes Kristin , ...listening to this advice was very helpful to me , especially after my experience of a marriage divorce few years ago.
Are you now married or divorced ?
I love this episode so so so so so so much
Number one thing I learned was truth in the service of love . That’s with yourself and everyone around you. Accept reality for what it is , make decisions based on that! We live in an era of emotionalism as a religion . Too many people making choices based primarily on how they feel . Instead of conscious choices we are too compulsive .
When you're 61 and been single for over 20 years waiting to find the person you feel is the right one for you. You find yourself struggling with staying true to yourself and not wanting to end up old and alone. You catch yourself thinking, should I settle for this person, the way he is? Even though he does not match my energy, lifestyle or intellectual level. When your most basic needs are not being met and there's no interest or innitiative of a future attempt. It's so hard to look in the mirror and say "what's more important to me, not being alone or having a rich, rewarding and fullfiling life even though I may be lonely in my later years.
The part where you guys are talking about how much we’re capable of doing when we’re alined, yes that true. But also, every step of the way counts. Every little thing we do and experience is a piece of the puzzle. Nothing is a waste. Cause bad doesn’t acctually exist, there’s only absence of good.
Wow. Just wow. RUclips recommended this to me after watching the Jordan Peterson interview. What a lovely video. I had to watch until the end. Three very articulate individuals. Matthew Hussey is truly wonderful and deserves to be at the very top of "experts" in his field. He doesn't just give pat answers. He is thoughtful and deliberate and extraordinarily insightful about life, in general. Really appreciate him. And Vylana Marcus... where can I find more wisdom from this beautiful soul? Thank you very much! Blessings to you all.
This conversation is so important. I so appreciate the female perspective and I appreciate the conversation about the biological clock
I'm in the middle of great pain right now from a recent break-up, not only because of the loss of that connection but the dreams of projects linked to that person. I know I will move on from this (it's not the first time I experience something like this, so I know it's a fact I will prevail). But the here and now ouch...still, I take this opportunity for rebirth and learning from this particular experience to have a better relationship next time.
Yes this video is full of knowledge and openness, lessons etc etc.. But can we just take a minute to appreciate this beautiful couple. Wow, just wow 🔥😍👌🏻
Finding love in the form of a conscious (woke) masculine becomes even more challenging when you’re on a plant medicine path. It’s so important to me find someone who is dedicated to personal growth.
A lot of us are dedicated to personal growth. I hope to meet you on the path.
Wonderful conversations! 💕 Loving Vylanas dress… What a stunning woman!
I love what Vylana said, that we have to be honest with ourselves. That's the fundamental rule to find true happiness in life (business, love, etc.). What surprises me is Matthew's response that he is not in favour of radical honesty. Why not? You can always respond by telling the truth but in a diplomatic and considerate manner if you don't like something or someone. The most appreciated virtue by women in a man is honesty. Making up stories to sound interesting and appealing to the audience, promoting texting of certain words, sentences, etc. all those things, which are part of Matthew's business, as a dating coach, make him unauthentic. He intellectualises emotions, which should be raw, genuine and free-flowing and not some polished, made-up versions aimed to impress someone. This makes him sound/vibe fake. He does much better work in the domain of life coaching. As long as Matthew is not emotionally coherent ( to mean, say and do things sincerely), so long he won't find true happiness in love. With him, you never know whether his compliments are sincere; he really means what he says, or they are just picked up randomly from his professional flirting menu.
thanks !!! I liked the part about taking in the wring challenge & time investment bonds
Impressed with what Vylana said. I was too focusing into the further, tried to fix the relationship, ignored all the red flags, hoped to have kids, hoped the relationship would get better and if I loved more and care more my ex would understand. But no, she was staying in the relationship, no input, might be stay to avoid the guilt of breaking up. 5 months after our separation, she moved on to the new boyfriend, bought house and had kid like we had never had a long 6.5 year relationship together, and she did never want to have kid with me.
You guys are right, we avoid to ask question because we are too afraid to listen to the answer.
“Vy” .. just regurgitates canned spiritual quotes and some people find this deep & intriguing 😂 Aubrey has officially shifted his audience to middle schoolers.
Hey guys, LOVED the part about children - and getting deeper with it. It makes me so uncomfortable that it feels like we often don't think of the immensity of having a human (not just a child, our 'OUR' child). It to me doesn't work that way and I can tell you are really conscious and kind - knowing offspring will always have challenges, may not live up to our 'expectations' or have issues or accidents. But that's the risk, they will die. I wish we could communicate this honestly before we think our ourselves, our own fear of mortality and our own fantasies of the future. We live in the present.
Thanks Matthew, Aubrey and Vylana x
Tell the truth, tell the truth, tell the truth - no matter what 💫💫💫
14:00 70% partner
20:57 someone to be sure this is it
46:05 "relationships where you can't give someone the gift of your FULL trying"
Ahhh. beautiful conversation 🙏🏾
Oh man I totally have to reself myself in how I am feeling internally