TheLasagneLP Nah people are an uncertain entity to me, i dont know enough of em. Maybe try it at a gathering of amateur physicists or you know, at a theme pub
An easier one to tell is: Werner Heisenberg gets pulled over for speeding. He winds down the window and the Cop asks him "Sir, do you know how fast you were driving?" "No" replied Werner, "but I know where I am."
@@dallassolis8539 yes … I would just love to spend a day with him, his company and wit is what I admire. A day at the zoo. He has so much respect for animals.
375 dislikes. Was it the German accent? The God bit? The fact the joke didn't start OR end? Is it his baldness? What exactly could anyone hate about that 3 mins of entertainment?
+ Cyba IT - True. Most Americans will not get Bailey's humor (or humour). Way back when I was in 8th grade, my teachers told me my humor was British. I did not know what they meant until I discovered British comedy later on. I think the differance between British comedy shows and U.S. shows is British is more sketch related. American is more one liners. British is more cerebral. There is a lot behind their material, including references Americans may not get, like British boarding schools.
He's so smart and so weird I don't like to imagine what he would have become if not for comedy. You know, like if only Hitler had sold some paintings the world would have been a lot better off, ostensibly.
and about time ... where the fuck have you been hiding ... damned irresponsible hiding that particular light under ... hang on ... what exactly IS a bushel in this metaphor ???... im getting vibes ...i never get vibes ... im a musician , ...we`re not allowed extraneous vibes, they mess with the regimen tempo ok now i understand your reluctance ... but still .. coulda warned me
because leading up to that you had completely different expectations about what he might say next, Comedy is all about expectations and delivery. Much the same way that music is about tension and release.
I think the point of the joke centred around the uncertainty. It's more of a joke for the comedian, at the expense of the audience. He's making small jokes tied together with small themes that don't lead anywhere, so the audience remains confused, and then at the end when he just randomly ends it, he leaves the audience even more uncertain as to what the point was.
Thank you Daniel. I was trying to work out what it was all about and the comments haven’t helped because people are trying to make about intellectual theories etc however I suspect you nailed it. Well at least for me now I feel like I get it. Cheers.
+ Daniel W If we put this joke in a box with a jar of poison then it would be both funny and not funny at the same time. Of that I am certain - i think? Just make sure you do not put Des cart before the horse.
It might not have a punchline, but to me that's what makes it funny. It's all the unexpected twists and turns, going into absurdity in the end. It's not pretencious abstractism or whatever it would be called. It's just silly nonsense with real world observation thrown in. A whole heap of Bill Bailey's jokes end like this.. they don't really GET an ending. It's in a way how Monty Python did their sketches too.
@@Catonzo Not having a punchline makes the joke even more about uncertainty. This joke definitely makes people think. These kind of jokes are best. They last. Best I have heard.
You can either know when Bill Bailey is being funny, or you can know where Bill Bailey is being funny, but you can't know both. Alternatively, the answers might be always and everywhere.
A massive boot with a door that was always held up by a pole, because the pneumatic strut to open it broke. I don't remember there even being a glove-box light.
+Pyriform Yep, we had a broom stick in the boot to do just that. I've never driven a tank but I suspect it was a similar experience to a Maxi. I've never driven a car with a worse gearbox or heavier steering.
Massive seats too mate. You could fit 5 on the back seat easily. The front ones were like armchairs with plenty of floor space. Plus with the Haynes manual I could easily work my way round the engine and take stuff apart. Getting back together again was another story entirely!
No real offence but if this was Qi, Alan Davies (Bill's best mate) would ask you "Do you actually know what "pretentious" means?" :) And Jimmy Carr would go "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaa!"
An underrated reply, I have a love of bizarre and quirky comedy. Did you ever watch 'Black Books'? (I think it's on Netflix now), truly some of the most awesomely comedic 'things' I've ever seen. Pax
@@BornAgainCynic0086 Ah ha ha, I'm laughing now even thinking about it. You nailed it, that is what I would have said too. There was just too much to say to pick a better moment but when Mannie was being shown the features of the new security system, and he 'zoned out' because there was a little subbuteo player in the guys hair? It was just totally surreal and sublime? If you liked Black Books, not on the same level but def 'has it's moments', check out 'Norsemen' on netflix? In series One, episode 2 (I think) the poetry reading....I won't spoil it except to say, absolutely 'effing priceless! Cheers for the reply and I like the 'don't eat the apple' icon, pretty cool. pax dude.
@@conmcgrath7502 Norseman had me spraying coffee everywhere. Have you tried Green Wing? Just get through a couple of episodes, trust me. (I won't use fruit IT, fruit goes off and may have worms)
'metaphysical strippers...and they just stripp...'', I know, I'm that guy that types the shit you just heard...I just have to...''...stripped away layers of preconception, until it was just two naked quivering question marks' and you put your money on the dots' ahahhahahahahahahaha metaphysical strippers...I'll never know if this would've made me laugh so hard if someone else had told it....it's the delivery....it's all about that silly delivery...
Ok you can criticise the Austin Maxi gloove box light but it was the first true hatchback and one of the first cars with 5 gears (forward), so there Bill Bailey!!
@@johnnybegood1125 Yes you could be right there. I believe the A40 had a split rear hatch with an up and down section. Whereas the maxi had a one piece up rear door today called a hatch back. I had two Maxis in the early 80’s they were good cars except for the cable gear change. Well that is enough nerdyness from me for one day.
If a joke starts with God, Jesus and The Holy Spirit walking into a pub, it's most likely a Bill Bailey joke. If it's a themed pub with 'uncertainty' as it's theme. It can ONLY be a Bill Bailey joke.
greetings from portugal, what a nice show you got, its diferent, but thats good, and original. pretty awsome joining music and stand up. eager to watch more stuff.. cos hey.. its new to me! lol, didnt see any comedian do this, except tenacious D, and they arent really making a standup show, its more theater than stand up.. even though its funny. I am eager to see more of your songs and jokes. long live the metal. and your show! id say "long live bill" but.. bill also means bill.. and you know how nowane likes to pay bills.. is that not how you write it? woopsie. sorry.. ill stop ranting now. noo more blabber no sir..
Doesn't anybody have a sense of irony this man is brilliant when you compare him to the knuckle dragging humour less clods that pass for comedians I would thank God if existed bill Bailey is hilarious
There's not another person on Earth right now who can tell this joke in such a fashion that it is at least 1/2 as funny as when BB tells it here..I mean the ENDING of it! :D :D :D he's unbelievable!
As soon as I saw Bill Bailey on stage, I knew everything was going to be alright. It wasn't, but there was a window where I thought it, which was nice.
I thought i was pretty good at getting jokes... turns out .. nope. Will re-watch til i get it.. no matter how long it takes .. I WILL GET THIS FUCKING JOKE
+Eddie Lyons If that's a reflection on the lack of laughter at the end, I have to say I thought it wasn't laugh out loud funny either, but it was very very enjoyable.
I thought the comment section would be raving about what a genius he is. But no, people are saying he's pretentious. Do they think he's trying to impress with his knowledge of science? No, morons, he presupposes a rudimentary level of knowledge in his audience and then the actual COMEDY is the breakdown of the joke format. This guy's a genius. And sometimes, calling someone pretentious is another way of saying "I didn't get it".
Doubtin Thomas - so who is a true genius then, genius? Dictionary definition "an exceptionally intelligent person, one with exceptional skill in a particular area of activity." I think that Bailey fits that definition exactly - certainly more so than Tom Jones or Paul Gascoigne.
@Eddie Lyons Sounded very much like he was explaining the 'observer effect' to me. Often confused with the uncertainty principle but very different. With regard to position and momentum DP * DM >= 1/2h Change in position (Delta P) times change in momentum (Delta M) is greater than or equal to the Plank length (something really really small but not nothing). These are changes, not static values. If you narrow down the change in one value to nothing, so as to set it at one known value, the equation cannot work. Nothing times anything equals nothing and it needs to be greater than Plank for the equation to work... But say you don't want to be perfect, nearly will do. You narrow down, say the position, so it's between two values that are really close together in order to find the momentum. Now Delta P is tiny. For the equation to work in a set system (where the right hand side of the equation stays static) delta M now has to be massive. So, you figure out where it is, but you have literally no idea where its going. Just from the maths, the more you narrow down the position, the amount of possible directions the particle could be going approaches infinity. ...and none of this has anything to do with bouncing light beams off of particles. The thing I like about it is, as I've just shown, you don't need to understand the physics to understand the principle...just really basic maths. (But the physics is really cool too)
RayMerrell68 "...and none of this has anything to do with bouncing light beams off of particles." ... And how do you presume to measure the speed OR the position of a particle?
Either acid or good weed....in company...laughing your head off....this was in 1978 at an old pub in Cornwall....the sunken sun hung above a celtic sea....great hash from Amsterdam crumbled into an ancient pipe....a breeze breezed through osks and past locked hatchbacks ...somewhere a forgotten goddess stared at the stars in a wood...
It wasn't a pub joke, so there's no punch line as such. I'm sorry that you didn't understand it, but I found it very funny so please don't try and ruin mine and others' enjoyment of it.
Bill Bailey doesn't tell jokes in the traditional sense. He creates abstract images by placing concepts into the format of a joke, so as to gain humour from it. If you need it explaining, then you didn't get the joke. It's not a failing on anyone's part, though, it's just that different people find different things funny. Some people laugh at watching one man kick another man up the backside, whereas others laugh at more cerebral things. It doesn't make one person a moron or the other a pretentious twat. What I'm trying to say is, if we were all the same then life would be very, very boring. Or as the French say, "Vive la difference!"
Ah yes, Heisenberg's uncertainty principal. Something that all physicists accept as a logical scientific fact, but for some unknown reason, always feel a little unsure of...... A common affliction of people who spent too much time thinking and not enough time having sex.
Not many comedians are basing jokes on 20th century German theoretical physicists these days. I can only think of Michael McIntyre and his hilarious "key pioneers of quantum mechanics" gag.
In the end a shit joke without a punchline and Jesus was not mentioned beyond the opener. I want more than a "funny journey" to the end, I want a good ending! This just sort of retires from trying to be funny. Or... I just didn't get it.
People commenting about it being the observer effect and not the uncertainty principle, but didn't Heisenberg himself get the maths right while interpreting it incorrectly as the observer effect? If that's the case then it would be accurate for this barman Heisenberg to make that error too
Two metaphysics walk into a pub, they order two pints. After which they spend their time arguing whether the pint exists or is essence. By the time they figure it out the beer has gone flat.
his timing and delivery are perfection
Never try to tell this joke to people. it would be a bloody disaster
have you tried? im tempted to try
TheLasagneLP Nah people are an uncertain entity to me, i dont know enough of em. Maybe try it at a gathering of amateur physicists or you know, at a theme pub
I'm tempted to try this joke but I'm not certain it would go down well.. I wouldn't want to actually do it, my delivery might affect the results!
thats a CERTAINTY
An easier one to tell is:
Werner Heisenberg gets pulled over for speeding. He winds down the window and the Cop asks him "Sir, do you know how fast you were driving?"
"No" replied Werner, "but I know where I am."
'Just an orange juice?' 😂Bill has got it all: brains as well as an excellent comedic talent. ✌️
I still have a very genuine crush on him for all that he is 💜💜
@@dallassolis8539 yes … I would just love to spend a day with him, his company and wit is what I admire. A day at the zoo. He has so much respect for animals.
So bloody good!
Emil Markussen He really is!
375 dislikes.
Was it the German accent? The God bit? The fact the joke didn't start OR end? Is it his baldness? What exactly could anyone hate about that 3 mins of entertainment?
It was only 3 minutes, obvious.
Maybe it was too short 😂
I'm an American but this is why Bill Bailey is my favorite stand-up!
Dude; grammar, context?.... You now look stoopid.
I love how you're almost making an apology for being American. :p
+ Cyba IT - True. Most Americans will not get Bailey's humor (or humour). Way back when I was in 8th grade, my teachers told me my humor was British. I did not know what they meant until I discovered British comedy later on. I think the differance between British comedy shows and U.S. shows is British is more sketch related. American is more one liners. British is more cerebral. There is a lot behind their material, including references Americans may not get, like British boarding schools.
88th grade? And they say American education is poor... ;)
88 out of 1122 grades, according to my keyboard :)
oh yes! just like a normal pub...
The epitomy of brilliantly clever shit
Can anyone give captions for this? The accent is not too clear to me.
I usually find Bill Bailey funnier than this, but I found this *mildly* amusing, at least.
He's so smart and so weird I don't like to imagine what he would have become if not for comedy. You know, like if only Hitler had sold some paintings the world would have been a lot better off, ostensibly.
I got so fucking bored so fucking quickly !!
"We don't serve spirits..."
Must have been a Sunday morning.
Thank you! With just those four words, 2 minutes and 51 seconds of my life were not wasted.
What a disaster, a pub without spirits
@@halfling49 That's why it's a pub "Joke"
The problem these days is that there is too little “uncertainty principle” and too much unprincipled certainty.
You get to choose a kewpie doll from the top shelf!
That, my friend, is profound.
and about time ... where the fuck have you been hiding ... damned irresponsible hiding that particular light under ... hang on ... what exactly IS a bushel in this metaphor ???... im getting vibes ...i never get vibes ... im a musician , ...we`re not allowed extraneous vibes, they mess with the regimen tempo
ok now i understand your reluctance ... but still .. coulda warned me
Martin, you just managed to express the most succinct resumé of modern problems we are ever likely to hear. Bravo.
Well said.
Although this is in it's entirety at the expense of the audience, this may be my favourite joke ever.
One bloke walks into a pub, God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.
Errr ... "Three persons in one God".
Otherwise accurate.
This is underrated.
@@charlieconlon4476 -- or zero people in zero deities -- fixed it for ya
God is the programmer.
Jesus is his gamer tag.
And the Holy Spirit is the energy/information field which holds reality together.
Subtle :)
I could listen to this type of bollocks all night. Love Bill's crazy rambling stories, jokes, whatever
Bill Bailey is truly a renaissance man. Unique and talented in every imaginable way.
Why did I find the joke about the glovebox light in a 1974 Austin Maxi funny when I've never seen a 1974 Austin Maxi or a dim glovebox light?
Perhaps the sudden switch from the metaphysical/uncertainty stuff, to something as mundane as a 1974 Austin Maxi?
Specificity is funny. Apparently.
The Austin Maxi was the British equivalent of the K Car. Totally utilitarian with the added bonus of a horrible electric system.
because leading up to that you had completely different expectations about what he might say next, Comedy is all about expectations and delivery. Much the same way that music is about tension and release.
SDC ! Spot on!
When he said the holy spirit was "ineffable" I thought it was "in ethanol" then realised that wasn't the joke.
hexonatapeloop Yours was good too@
Our study group in grad school had the motto "To screw the inscrutable, and to eff the ineffable!"
I think the point of the joke centred around the uncertainty. It's more of a joke for the comedian, at the expense of the audience. He's making small jokes tied together with small themes that don't lead anywhere, so the audience remains confused, and then at the end when he just randomly ends it, he leaves the audience even more uncertain as to what the point was.
Thank you Daniel. I was trying to work out what it was all about and the comments haven’t helped because people are trying to make about intellectual theories etc however I suspect you nailed it. Well at least for me now I feel like I get it. Cheers.
happy joe if you are right why is the audience laughing so much?
+
Daniel W
If we put this joke in a box with a jar of poison then it would be both funny and not funny at the same time. Of that I am certain - i think? Just make sure you do not put Des cart before the horse.
It might not have a punchline, but to me that's what makes it funny. It's all the unexpected twists and turns, going into absurdity in the end. It's not pretencious abstractism or whatever it would be called. It's just silly nonsense with real world observation thrown in.
A whole heap of Bill Bailey's jokes end like this.. they don't really GET an ending. It's in a way how Monty Python did their sketches too.
@@Catonzo Not having a punchline makes the joke even more about uncertainty. This joke definitely makes people think. These kind of jokes are best. They last. Best I have heard.
You can either know when Bill Bailey is being funny, or you can know where Bill Bailey is being funny, but you can't know both. Alternatively, the answers might be always and everywhere.
What?!? Finished? I wanted this joke to go on for AT LEAST another 5 minutes!
I had a 1972 Austin Maxi and it's true what he says above the glovebox light: rubbish!
Absolutely everything about the Maxi was rubbish.
That's not true:
1. Massive boot
2. Err, ah, nope I'm out.
A massive boot with a door that was always held up by a pole, because the pneumatic strut to open it broke.
I don't remember there even being a glove-box light.
+Pyriform Yep, we had a broom stick in the boot to do just that. I've never driven a tank but I suspect it was a similar experience to a Maxi. I've never driven a car with a worse gearbox or heavier steering.
Massive seats too mate. You could fit 5 on the back seat easily. The front ones were like armchairs with plenty of floor space.
Plus with the Haynes manual I could easily work my way round the engine and take stuff apart. Getting back together again was another story entirely!
Just orange juice then-priceless.
Bill Bailey is a very funny clever man, just his facial expression make me laugh.
This guy is pure genius, in the metaphysical sense of the word! Maybe he's the God particle that they have all been talking about of late?🙏
That's a pretty accurate impression of German humor xD
I thought Peter Cooke & Dudley Moore were insanely clever. BB takes its up a few notches, equally as funny though in different ways.
You know for a comedian and musician he has quite good understanding of the uncertainty principle
Philosophy too. Just watch is it bill bailey? and you'll understand
Calling Bill Bailey pretentious is hysterical! Thanks :)
No real offence but if this was Qi, Alan Davies (Bill's best mate) would ask you "Do you actually know what "pretentious" means?" :) And Jimmy Carr would go "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaa!"
Shubham Bhushan shame u don't
Are you sure he don't?
I'm a little uncertain.
He's brilliant. I've seen him twice. Cried tears of laughter both times.
I got to seem him once in Sydney, and he was so funny.
This was an epic joke on so many levels. Divine.
The man's a pure fcukin genius
It's like a weird dream / acid trip.
Now there's a whole stand up career.
Ah the old ones.
nice one!
for those in need of a punchline - "Stradivarius was a lousy painter, and Rembrandt made rubbish violins"
An underrated reply, I have a love of bizarre and quirky comedy. Did you ever watch 'Black Books'? (I think it's on Netflix now), truly some of the most awesomely comedic 'things' I've ever seen.
Pax
@@conmcgrath7502 I have, numerous times and as a result I now see life through a different filter. The quasimodo/wine/pope skit was the best for me.
@@BornAgainCynic0086 Ah ha ha, I'm laughing now even thinking about it. You nailed it, that is what I would have said too. There was just too much to say to pick a better moment but when Mannie was being shown the features of the new security system, and he 'zoned out' because there was a little subbuteo player in the guys hair? It was just totally surreal and sublime?
If you liked Black Books, not on the same level but def 'has it's moments', check out 'Norsemen' on netflix?
In series One, episode 2 (I think) the poetry reading....I won't spoil it except to say, absolutely 'effing priceless!
Cheers for the reply and I like the 'don't eat the apple' icon, pretty cool.
pax dude.
@@conmcgrath7502 Norseman had me spraying coffee everywhere. Have you tried Green Wing? Just get through a couple of episodes, trust me. (I won't use fruit IT, fruit goes off and may have worms)
@@conmcgrath7502 Look Manny.... it's my birthday. I nearly had a hernia! As funny as " He has a wife you know... Incontinentia....."
Bill Bailey is a genius dude.
One of my absolute favourite Bill Bailey moments!
'metaphysical strippers...and they just stripp...'', I know, I'm that guy that types the shit you just heard...I just have to...''...stripped away layers of preconception, until it was just two naked quivering question marks' and you put your money on the dots' ahahhahahahahahahaha metaphysical strippers...I'll never know if this would've made me laugh so hard if someone else had told it....it's the delivery....it's all about that silly delivery...
Ok you can criticise the Austin Maxi gloove box light but it was the first true hatchback and one of the first cars with 5 gears (forward), so there Bill Bailey!!
wasn't the Austin A40 the first hatchback?
@@johnnybegood1125 Yes you could be right there. I believe the A40 had a split rear hatch with an up and down section. Whereas the maxi had a one piece up rear door today called a hatch back. I had two Maxis in the early 80’s they were good cars except for the cable gear change. Well that is enough nerdyness from me for one day.
lol, bill is just weird, in a good way, how does he think these thing's up, great,
He's a great musician too. I wish I could just play all those instruments, let alone do comedy at the same time in front of a huge audience.
If a joke starts with God, Jesus and The Holy Spirit walking into a pub, it's most likely a Bill Bailey joke.
If it's a themed pub with 'uncertainty' as it's theme. It can ONLY be a Bill Bailey joke.
Are you certain?
Sure, I laughed.... at my own miserable ignorance. Just the sight of Bill gets me cackling.
Why did the barman not have a German accent when they first walked in? 🤔
Almost as funny are the people desperately trying to showcase their intelligence in the comments.
Snurt Groolan Nice one snurt - best comment
@@strontiumstargazer3124 Cheers. :-)
Bill Bailey is magnificent and a genuine legend.
the man is a genius😍
Agreed
It's all very well talking about an Austin Maxi, but my sister had an Austin Princess, I think she drove it into a wall just to kill it!
The Austin Princess was a p.o.s,just like its successor the Ambassador
Damn Tim Minchin has aged.
Matt Armstrong carol vorderman has let herself go
He was there way before minchin. Also...Bill can play more instruments, while Tim is mostly a brilliant on the keys.
Don't compare, just enjoy both.
but got a lot funnier
Tim Minchin has let himself go
@@onpsxmember He wasn't comparing. You just missed the joke
The deepest joke I have heard.
Oud.
wat is oud?
it's dutch, it means "old". as in the clip is probably older then the 11 months stated as the upload time. not that i mind, sorry for ranting xD
ooooouuuuuuuuuuuddda!
+gamiezion Nah, he did a show where he played the oud and the crowd started worshipping it
chris gill oooooooouuuddddddd
greetings from portugal, what a nice show you got, its diferent, but
thats good, and original. pretty awsome joining music and stand up.
eager to watch more stuff.. cos hey.. its new to me! lol, didnt see any
comedian do this, except tenacious D, and they arent really making a
standup show, its more theater than stand up.. even though its funny. I
am eager to see more of your songs and jokes. long live the metal. and
your show! id say "long live bill" but.. bill also means bill.. and you
know how nowane likes to pay bills.. is that not how you write it?
woopsie. sorry.. ill stop ranting now. noo more blabber no sir..
Dude, you sober yet?
Doesn't anybody have a sense of irony this man is brilliant when you compare him to the knuckle dragging humour less clods that pass for comedians I would thank God if existed bill Bailey is hilarious
But how does the joke end? I'm so uncertain about the ending of this joke!
This joke is even better every subsequent time it's heard
Pretty sure that's my local he's discussing there
What happened jesus in all this 🤔😁
He was playing the fruit machine....
Kept dropping his coins...
Shit, he had an Austin Maxi too! My first car (69 though) haha
There's not another person on Earth right now who can tell this joke in such a fashion that it is at least 1/2 as funny as when BB tells it here..I mean the ENDING of it! :D :D :D he's unbelievable!
Did you hear about the joke with no punchline? ................
I swear I heard Russell Howard tell this on Mock the week once
So the glove box light in a'72 maxi emitted single photons ? …
perfect example of an anti-anti-joke
Thank God I'm somewhat educated or I would've been confused.
This has major Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy vibes
It was a nice story.
Wish he told the joke in English so I knew what he was saying
Tried shining light on this joke, I'm still not illuminated.
im uncertain about the outcome of this joke , is it ment to fail or am i looking in a different fish bowel
Yes.
In the pub of uncertainty why not have two question marks as strippers 👙??
too long too confusing , not funny
Genius!
Sounds like something from the mighty boosh
Go home Bill Bailey!
Why were they laughing, did I miss the funny bit?
Because they are educated.
As soon as I saw Bill Bailey on stage, I knew everything was going to be alright.
It wasn't, but there was a window where I thought it, which was nice.
Best line at the end. The old ones..........lol
I thought i was pretty good at getting jokes... turns out .. nope.
Will re-watch til i get it.. no matter how long it takes .. I WILL GET THIS FUCKING JOKE
I'm not too sure there is anything intended to be 'got'.
I told this joke to my mother-in-law. She's so fat, she didn't get it.
Funny guy
Oh he's SO good.
Austin Maxi ... now there was a car...
Reminds me of the moth joke. Good times.
This has to be the best joke in the world...
This one just went way over most peoples, heads! So good. And he got the Heisenberg uncertainty principle bang on as a bonus. 8-)
+Eddie Lyons If that's a reflection on the lack of laughter at the end, I have to say I thought it wasn't laugh out loud funny either, but it was very very enjoyable.
I thought the comment section would be raving about what a genius he is. But no, people are saying he's pretentious. Do they think he's trying to impress with his knowledge of science? No, morons, he presupposes a rudimentary level of knowledge in his audience and then the actual COMEDY is the breakdown of the joke format. This guy's a genius. And sometimes, calling someone pretentious is another way of saying "I didn't get it".
Doubtin Thomas - so who is a true genius then, genius?
Dictionary definition "an exceptionally intelligent person, one with exceptional skill in a particular area of activity."
I think that Bailey fits that definition exactly - certainly more so than Tom Jones or Paul Gascoigne.
@Eddie Lyons Sounded very much like he was explaining the 'observer effect' to me.
Often confused with the uncertainty principle but very different.
With regard to position and momentum
DP * DM >= 1/2h
Change in position (Delta P) times change in momentum (Delta M) is greater than or equal to the Plank length (something really really small but not nothing).
These are changes, not static values. If you narrow down the change in one value to nothing, so as to set it at one known value, the equation cannot work. Nothing times anything equals nothing and it needs to be greater than Plank for the equation to work...
But say you don't want to be perfect, nearly will do. You narrow down, say the position, so it's between two values that are really close together in order to find the momentum. Now Delta P is tiny. For the equation to work in a set system (where the right hand side of the equation stays static) delta M now has to be massive. So, you figure out where it is, but you have literally no idea where its going. Just from the maths, the more you narrow down the position, the amount of possible directions the particle could be going approaches infinity.
...and none of this has anything to do with bouncing light beams off of particles.
The thing I like about it is, as I've just shown, you don't need to understand the physics to understand the principle...just really basic maths. (But the physics is really cool too)
RayMerrell68
"...and none of this has anything to do with bouncing light beams off of particles."
... And how do you presume to measure the speed OR the position of a particle?
The old ones are the best ones.
Either acid or good weed....in company...laughing your head off....this was in 1978 at an old pub in Cornwall....the sunken sun hung above a celtic sea....great hash from Amsterdam crumbled into an ancient pipe....a breeze breezed through osks and past locked hatchbacks ...somewhere a forgotten goddess stared at the stars in a wood...
This guy's fucking certifiable.
Did this clip end before the punchline? If not it"s just pretentious twaddle.
It wasn't a pub joke, so there's no punch line as such. I'm sorry that you didn't understand it, but I found it very funny so please don't try and ruin mine and others' enjoyment of it.
Please explain the joke then
Bill Bailey doesn't tell jokes in the traditional sense. He creates abstract images by placing concepts into the format of a joke, so as to gain humour from it. If you need it explaining, then you didn't get the joke. It's not a failing on anyone's part, though, it's just that different people find different things funny. Some people laugh at watching one man kick another man up the backside, whereas others laugh at more cerebral things. It doesn't make one person a moron or the other a pretentious twat.
What I'm trying to say is, if we were all the same then life would be very, very boring. Or as the French say, "Vive la difference!"
Not everything that goes over your head is pretentious...
I love Bill Bailey.. I'm uncertain why.. but I assume it's because, oh wait, I assume so it's uncertain.. ah grasshopper..
Ah yes, Heisenberg's uncertainty principal. Something that all physicists accept as a logical scientific fact, but for some unknown reason, always feel a little unsure of...... A common affliction of people who spent too much time thinking and not enough time having sex.
Not many comedians are basing jokes on 20th century German theoretical physicists these days. I can only think of Michael McIntyre and his hilarious "key pioneers of quantum mechanics" gag.
Ok. Not one of Bill's funniest jokes, nor least offensive. It is a bit like "How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?"
"Fish".
In the end a shit joke without a punchline and Jesus was not mentioned beyond the opener. I want more than a "funny journey" to the end, I want a good ending! This just sort of retires from trying to be funny. Or... I just didn't get it.
Aaaah... the old ones! :P
I want to find that pinball machine. Come on, Dicky! Quit making nature films and make a pinball. Bit late, sorry.
People commenting about it being the observer effect and not the uncertainty principle, but didn't Heisenberg himself get the maths right while interpreting it incorrectly as the observer effect? If that's the case then it would be accurate for this barman Heisenberg to make that error too
It's like a typical Monty Python joke, pseudo academic bullshit, lacking a punchline. Mick Miller tells it better.
BB is v good at being Mr "bloke". In fact he's from a privileged background. Ind school, uni etc
Two metaphysics walk into a pub, they order two pints. After which they spend their time arguing whether the pint exists or is essence. By the time they figure it out the beer has gone flat.
Vid cut out before the punch line. I think.