Standards vs. Wounds: Are You Setting Boundaries or Sabotaging Love? | Finding The One #10
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- Опубликовано: 30 сен 2024
- In this week's episode of Finding The One, we dive deep into the delicate balance between setting healthy boundaries and unintentionally sabotaging love. We explore how past hurts can influence present relationship dynamics, and the importance of self-awareness in maintaining a loving partnership.
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The fact that Jen can come in to gently correct and articulate in an expansive way of what Danny says, is a true divine feminine power ✨
Any time we hear Danny say : “Baby let’s talk about that”
We already know he’s gonna be nothing but pure embodiment of a balanced and safe masculine. Bless you guys, you both rock🤟🏼
I had to comment on this episode, specifically on the criticism you are getting for exposing your vulnerability, mind, thoughts and beliefs. From where I stand, I love all of it including the things I disagree and mostly the ones that press and push my buttons. They. make me think and reflect on my judgement, beliefs and set of thoughts. I find Jen authentic and she shows her TRUE self. Beyond her words, its the overall expression, one KNOWS she is vibrating in her true essence. I guess people are not ready to handle the truth (yeahhhh like Jack Nicholson). I started watching this episode because I was following Danny, yet when I met Jen I am connected to the podcast on Spotify because of her. It takes courage, guts and a big set of balls and uterus to show yourself in a time where fakeness is the norm. I commend both of you for doing so. Thank you for what you are creating. Blessings and may love always lead the way.
how fucking refreshing to see two actual spiritual grounded people own their desires around money and wants and needs. I would never think my best friend shouldnt get to experience the nicest hotels, organic foods, clothing they love so why would i ever do it to myself? Thank yall for being so authentic and not needing to make everything so "digestable" by everyone. Your truth is your truth and that frequency is authenticity, the more authenticity we have the more liberation we have, wahoooooo
I agree with Danny about purpose and our universal truth! It took me longer than 6 months but in my early 30s I could see how my wounds were attracting the wrong kinds of men for me. I went and did the work that was mine to do, kept checking in with myself as I used who I was dating as a barometer of whether I was healed (to the degree I wanted) or not. I had thought I was serious about dating this whole time and then last year a new surge arrived inside me and I really kept my standards and values, put God at the complete center of not just my life but my future relationship, and then met my now husband who also puts God first. It's been incredibly beautiful to be in a relationship where this standard / value is 100% aligned for both of us. BUT - I will say that he loves Taco Bell 😂 I hadn't eaten it in over ten years but here we are 😉
it's beautiful the unconditional love Danny has for Jen
As a woman I agree with Jen regarding that intimacy goes with the ebb and flow of life. In my perspective I also make a clear distinction between making love and having sex. Having sex can be a wonderful experience between two bodies, and making love literaly is producing the energy of love (to make love) because there is deep love between two souls. Since I had an amazing soul connection mirroring, I understood, in my experience that what really turns me on is LOVE, so if there is love, woman have a higher demand of having intimacy than just having sex. Woman are love, and deep within feel if there is a soul connection when intimacy or not. That is why so many relationship after the first years go sexually cold, because the couples came together for different reasons, and there was no true soul love connection, so the femenine energy doesnt feel nurtured. There is a fantastic book from Barry Long called "Making love" , very interesting, pick up what resonates !! lots of love to Danny, Jen and little Selena !!
Imaging if instead of having sex we would all "make love" how the worlds energy would change !! 😍🥰
Jen is very down-to-earth
The part of the Latina women really upset me bc Danny by saying what you said the way you said it- you showed that you are still participating in the energy of separation. I get you wanting to protect Jen and yourself too. But this could have been a moment to talk about how some Latina Women (not putting the whole group in a box) are taught to think this way or that thier thinking might stem from wounding and generational trauma including sexual trauma and relationship trauma from older men/ the past/ history. Or that there might be a possibility that you still carry wounding about Latina Women. Bc if you really are in the spiritual world- you understand nothing is personal but we live in a 3d world so you got affected and I got affected 😉 And maybe that is what you are showing to the world that even if you do all this work- healing & integration- there will still be moments that you will get triggered as the human being that we are living in a 3d world experience :) The Law of Reflections :)
Danny, you are hilarious! "Wood." Tenting works too. 😂. I think you two are adorable. Jen is incredible, but I have to say there are many beautiful, soulful, wise, intelligent, feminine women in the world. However, you are a good man for making Jen you Queen. I look forward to seeing you in July in Palm Springs. I hope Jen is there too. Thank you for being so open.
Danny - I loved how you call people out on their own wounding and how they project this onto others! While we need to be compassionate to where one is at, people also need to be accountable for their words and their actions - including spiteful social media posts/comments.
Jen - I love that you don’t agree with everything Danny says 🙊🤣 I’m so in alignment with many of the things you spoke about and alluded to in this video 🙌🏽✨
Sharing some of the ups and downs in your relationship has been so useful to hear about - as you have overcome the challenges 🥹🙌🏽 I’ve been able to use your story with clients who have felt “hopeless” or pessimistic about the likelihood of their relationship working out, when there have been speed bumps in the early stages…..
Thank you 🙏🏽
It’s so hot when man wants his woman! That beginning was so funny 😆 thanks guys! ❤️
Great answer to the caller's question Jen. There are a lot of reasons why there are issues and disconnect in sex. I am writing a book on sex from a woman's perspective, that touches upon your discussion a bit. Sex is has been so convoluted that so many men, and surprisingly a lot of women think her sexuality works likes a. man, which it absolutely does not. I find most women, I think all, have had or continuously are experiencing men who never got the lesson and if you think about it, how do they (and nor do women even though we own the parts)? Majority of men and women not only did not get the lesson, but they've been misinformed and mislead . Porn and movies have ruined it. It is not even close to what women need or want.
I 💯 get why you’re both perfect for each other and why you choose each other❣️ She’s a smart cookie! And so is he
Can you please address this question : if I was on the road of healing and I did a lot of work and was doing well, and then I attracted my partner who happens to trigger a lot of my trauma and issues, does it mean that this relationship is here to help us heal together?
When problems started to appear in our relationship, I saw in him almost everything from my past that hurt me. I literally was looking at him and physically saw it all in front of my eyes.
I walked away after getting engaged, and healed some more, but I feel I can truly heal by addressing my triggers as they happen and he would have understood me and be there for me in these issues, if I would have been able to accept him as he is and help him too in addressing his own issues.
We both still love each other, even now after healing from the breakup and from other wounds.
Did I attract him from my wounds, or from a desire to heal?
There is an age and societal difference which made other people be against our relationship (my family) and influenced me at times.
I feel like I didn't allow him to give, to be himself and to be in his masculine. When I was open and relaxed and allowing things to be, without so many expectations and rules I had, he was wonderful.
He always said that if we would have worked together for each other, not against each other, we could have been very well together, and that when he saw me being relaxed and the real me, he knew in his heart that I was the best for him.
Please address the subject of healing together.
You guys are the best ❤
I love how Jen is so herself, gets frustrated with Danny and then it passes so quickly.
Can't believe someone would judge or criticize Jen! She has this wonderful vibe to her. Loved the topic about age, it kinda goes both ways 🤭😆 somehow I always end up dating younger than me and everyone thinks we are same age and it's their intelligence and vibe that connected us. Yet a woman gets criticized for that in Latin America. 🤭 But hey like she said, our Souls really don't have age. 💜🙏🏻
Jen, i love you ❤. Dan, I love your wife 😂😂 great episode guys. Everything she said was just so profound especially what she said about standards. LOVED IT
Love your podcast so much. Especially Jen) interesting thing about this episode - it feels like today Danny was mostly in his ego)) sorry but that’s what I feel. Maybe he was triggered by comments about Jen being “stuck up”, maybe something else happened right before recording. But at this episode his energy felt heavy. All previous episodes Danny was much more vulnerable, open and speaking from heart. Jen please continue being just Jen 🙏 just yourself. Not a teacher, not a healer, not a speaker. Just be who you are, like you have been all these 10 episodes) so beautiful, honest, raw and authentic. I think Danny sometimes loses himself in a “teacher / speaker” mode instead of just being himself, without any role, and that’s when ego comes up. Jen is absolutely beautiful and touching in her authenticity. Thank you so much guys for this amazing show. I have been on twin flame journey since June 2022, now we are married and had a little girl, she is one month younger than Selena) and we found out about my pregnancy 3 days later after you posted in Instagram about your pregnancy 😀 so our journeys with you guys are soooo similar. Also age difference, different countries (Russia and Turkey), different cultures, we used to run from each other every months 😀 and still continue mirroring each other ) so thank you so much for this show. Soooo helpful to realise that I am not crazy on this journey 🤣 and that you had and still have same stuff) lots of hugs!
Yesss… I TOTALLY understand why YOUR AMAZING SOULS chose one another … Blessed SOULS..
I feel extremely touched and in awe of the WHOLE story … 🧚🏼♀️🧚🏼♀️🦋🦋
I so look forward to a new episode of this podcast every monday. I have not heard anything like this before with this much rawness and authenticity. So grateful that both of you chose to do this. I am on my journey to meet my soulmate and you both give me a lot of positivity and inspiration. Sending you love and positive vibes from Dubai.💜
You are a phenomenal couple, a Divine Union! ❤ Beautiful and inspiring to see. Blessings to both and your gorg Selina. 🙏🏼
Yes Danny... Loving yourself and honouring yourself first INSIDE to be able to GIVE and BE that OVERFLOW of LOVE to your partner / husband / wife... That's one of my standards. I can't and won't have someone that hasn't spent understood the importance of loving himself first so that he's not "looking for someone" to "full thar void" because HE HAS ALREADY DONE IT HIMSELF.. Fully knowing he contains himself fully without needing anyone BUT wanting to add to his life.
Thank you so much for this podcast..absolutely love this and resonates with everything you say....soul recognition ❤❤❤
I think you could rename the podcast « FINDING THE ONE LIKE YOU ».
avec amour, toujours.
Manale
Danny is so funny! awesome funny. (that comment at the end of the video - throw in a little ..... hehe classic!) Thanks guys.
COME ON JEN🔥 You're ON POINT with the "age of numbers on this earth" and the vibe, or frequency that YOU ARE and BECOMING MORE OF.... You speak like me LOL 😂 Only difference is the "numbers on earth this lifetime" is a little more LOL 😂 Keep vibing that vibe🔥
I have lived that too I met a man 19 years yonger 7 feet smaller but we felt igual from the soul we recognize de eachother because we are from the same world, and we were hot together and just certain persons could see that ....probably de 5% you're saying 😇
And also hey....Jen has sisters and probably brothers that comes from the same world ....I am 💖✨
OMG Danny, I feel you so much regarding romantic movies . My ex partner and I also didn’t like to watch romantic movies together although we both loved them. I remember us watching one movie in which there was a proposal and I left the room at that moment and came back after that scene was over. I couldn’t stand sitting beside my partner watching something I knew we would never have together.
Hi Jen and Danny,
Felt like sharing with you guys. This episode was one of my favorites and also the one that triggered my self-doubt. I can honestly admit that I feel jealous of the relationship that you have. Don't get me wrong, sending you loads of love for both of you, but I realized how bad I want this kind of relationship and I am not having it in my present one which bothers me. Also, seeing Jen the way she talks and KNOWS things at her age (same as me) triggers me more, because deep in my heart I understand her, but I was never able to say it out loud to other people, especially - myself. I feel blessed to understand that and look forward to opening my heart fully. Thank You.
I love your guys podcast and the love you have for each other. But there are other women out there that are like Jen. I know because I'm one of them. I know im beautiful, smart, sexy, spiritual. I am confident in what I can offer because of the work I've been doing on myself. With the help of this podcast and the Higher self. But I know you're hyping up your woman. But for all the other men out there, there are women like Jen out there so don't be discouraged hehehe 😉
Danny, I absolutely love how much you value Jen’s inner beauty and all of her incredible wisdom and maturity she brings to your relationship AND there are definitely other women out there on that same level. There are many of us doing the deep inner work! I look forward to attracting a man that has also done the work and who sees and values my inner beauty and wisdom too! ❤
❤❤❤ love you both and can’t wait for Monday’s for the upload of your and Jen’s podcast ❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉
I want to thank you for challenging ideas of age and race. The connection you have really highlights how unimportant it is on a soul-ular level. It's something I am still working through as part of my journey is to allow myself to see the possibility of dating/marrying someone out of my race and being more focused on where they are on their journey & how much work they've done to become their best self. ❤❤
Jen: I don't think I agree with you
Dan: That's 100% accurate
😂😂😂
You two are the BEST!!!
1000% DOWN FOR THE COUPLES RETREAT!
That means that if you feel upset by something someone tells you, it also means that you still have a wound that's been shaked, there is something that resonate with that person's wound, so when you don't feel angry or upset yaaaa it means you're healed ou cured lol don't know the correct word 🤪
Hey guys, what is your opinion on zodiac compatibility in a relationship? Could you talk about that if you ever thought about it in your relationship?
You smashed this one Danny. Sounds like you have both evolved together and still are. Thanks for sharing your story with us xx
Love you so much guys I could write over and over my agreement with you
Although sex is important in a relationship most couples take it for granted instead of talking about each others sexual needs so we understand each others needs you will work towards it.
Self actualised human being. ❤ thank you for this conversation, both were amazing.
Hi, was it 🎉love at first sight (Australia )that you recommend?
To answer you guys' question: Yes, we do want a couples retreat 🤩🤩🤩
Danny was direct 🤣🤣🤣 he got me dying the whole episode hahahahahaahahaha 💪🏻 😂
“Danny: from a man’s perspective” Jen: 😳 Me: 😂😂😂😂
EXACTLY!!!!!!!😂😂😂😂
She’s amazing at keeping authentic and calling him out.
It is the truth and understand what I need to do. 🤙🏽🦋 understand that I need to breathe the punch in the mouth was hard.
wow this episode is liquid gold, thanks team!
Love, love, LOVE, the idea of couples on the show and couples retreat!! As an AwakenU member especially, I'd sign up immediately! 😃😃
What if your twin flame/ The one chooses to not awaken ?
Really enjoyed this episode… some truth 💣 💣 dropped! 🤣👏🏽 I also want to wave a flag for team Jen, just to balance out any pendejos calling her stuck up! 🤣❤ Everytime I watch an episode it makes me wanna have a deep chit chat with her over a cup of tea. 🫖
I love how Danny loves Jen with so much passion and affection. I missed 'Discovery' yesterday due to the impacts of Houston storms but glad to watch this❤.
Jen did not really say when did she follen in love!!!!!
awesome couple
A retreat would be awesome You too are so in love and adorable
I felt so guilty at first for setting boundaries. It's a practice and gets better over time. The meditation book called 30 Days to Overcome Guilt by Harper Daniels was cool, it's important to put yourself first and let go.
Danny is better looking than Mark Anthony. Mark Anthony is too skinny and doesn’t look healthy.
This was a very inspiring episode.
l love listening to you guys!
Thank you thank thank you 🙏🏻❤️
It does exist thank you!
Food is an excellent example. Lifestyles of how each person likes to live life are so important. These "Lifestyle" = "How I live my daily life" are the daily expressions of love couples must have in common/share.
You guys should start a dating app for the people who follow you and your students so that we can meet like-minded people that are on the same page with your teachings. This would save us soooo much time😅
This is such a great business idea haha but then again I feel like what they said in this episode is that if you find clarity for yourself, you’ll be able to attract what you want easily regardless of your circumstances ☺️
Another fantastic episode ❤
We didn’t get the picture 😢
🌈🎊💓☺️You’re such a beautiful inspiring “ mirror “ to my self !!!
i thank you 😊 🙏 sooooo muuuch 🎉 for sharing your story in finding the one 1️⃣ ❤!!!!
You guys are so beautiful 😍 I SEE AND FEEL you BOTH to a deep resonance of ALL THAT YOU ARE. Thank you for sharing YOU with us. I honour you as individuals and as a couple. The frequency in this korero (Maori for talk) is full of grace, truth, love, joy and peace 🤗❤️
I've really enjoyed listening to this podcast series... Just an observation: we talk a lot about healing, e.g., healing oneself to no longer attract the same type of partner or relationship. However, it might be interesting to go into how one actually heals and what healing requires. As someone who is a practitioner of somatic therapy to heal attachment trauma and generational trauma I do have an idea or two on this topic, but it would be interesting to hear it from you... 🤍
Such a great conversation guys 😍 I love it and you both. It's interesting to hear Danny, you start the convo around standards...as it helped me realise that it's not that I'm "stuck up" or think I'm better but I HAVE A STANDARD that I want in a man. I've had my years of healing and growth as a single mum and know Who I AM etc and have a standard of what I am looking for in a man. It's interesting to hear a couple of friends of mine, woman and man who are married, when I asked them (me being curious) "what type of man and character do you think I will end up with"? So interesting to "hear" and "see" that their thoughts about themselves were being reflected in who that thought I should "settle for". I so love to really listen, question and observe all of the intricacies of why people end up where they are and who they are with and what they "put up with".
Absolutely amazing ❤️
Jen was unreal ❤️
Thank you so much!!!
Really excited 🤗for the next episode ❤️❤️
Hahaha.. I love how Jen is so pissed at the end of the episode, & Danny knows he is in trouble... oh oh!! "Quality Time" Danny .. unconditional "Quality Time".. read the language of your Queen! 😉👸 Thanks for being so raw & authentic, all the wisdom shared is so valuable & needed ✨️💫 much love to you both 🤍
Love you two! Thank you for demonstrating what it looks like and means to have a healthy embodied balanced relationship with self and other. So incredibly grateful! I can’t wait to meet you both in person soon. :) Love and blessings to both of you.
so true I only look to make myself feel good and to show up as the best me I can be. it is awkward for me sometimes because I truly do not want or seek attention or validation from anyone besides self. I execute with excellent because it makes me FEEL AMAZING! now does external validation feel good sometimes sure but when that validation is sincere and is something that is not superficial or about my external appearance. I feel like I was hiding myself for so long and so scared to be seen with previous safety and insecurity wounds but getting my nails done, working out, wearing clothes that make my body look and feel good, and moving my body 2x a time is what keeps me mentally sane. keeps me in love with myself like yes queen look back at it! yes I feel beautiful and honored to be the soul living in this gorgeous body of mine. I Iook at my nails the most throughout the day I love when they look pretty and I remove all opinions, thoughts, humans, or experiences that criticize , or think I came from something I did not come from lol. Oh you must be from snottsdale yeah right haha more like the hood, the square. I built myself up to living in paradise and have worked so fucking hard #DREAMSTOREALITY! & I will continue this path of improvement, self-development, learning, education, and growth even when it feels hard, or feels like it is not working, or feels annoying because I am not a quitter! I am stronger than my body or mind. I am DIVINE BABY! it is so beautiful to not even think about it, I can feel when people are talking doo doo about me its so awesome being so tuned in to my senses I actually straight tune out all the noise THANK YOU GOD HAHA! the only man I strive to please, honor, and value is you. YOU AND ME ARE GOOD. I AM GOOD (: BLESS YOU BEAUTIFUL HUMANS!
I really adore both of you!!😍 Listening to your stories, I got to set my standards and really had a moment what do I really want in life and in man truly.
And million thanks that I really enjoy all of your episodes! Send my love from Korea 🇰🇷
I have a question what about marrying someone to narcissist and I did not have that kind of life when I was young I have very loving parents, so why did I attract a narcissist, and was married to him for 16 years and together for 19?
the part about attracting the same partner over and over doesn't ring true for me. The only common denominator for me is it doesn't go the distance, they are not giving me what I need for different reasons. One may be religiously on the same page but he isn't masculine enough for me, another is masculine enough for me but hasn't the same values in certain areas or doesn't want the same type of relationship as I do. So the pattern is disappointment, not feeling safe, and not gelling on what are important areas. So I am constantly questioning myself, am I asking for too much and being unrealistic? Danny and Jen talk like they have it all, but maybe that's not a true reflection of their relationship and if it is true it's rare? So which flaws must be live with? I think it would be enlightening which flaws Danny and Jen have had to accept in each other and which unhealed parts they are working on and have had to accept in each other.
I love seeing you both! What a pleasure to hear and experience your stories. I enjoy them! Please stay focus with less energy towards negative comments. Those of us who have ears will hear and appreciate!❤❤
Have you guys read Rays of light? I love you both and I'm on my own journey of finding and understanding myself on a much deeper level. I want to eventually be surrounded by like minded people and to continuously learn, however it's so hard to find these kind of people...
My stomach hurts and my heart is exploding love this, it went deep ❤️ getting more and more excited for awaken Miami 💚
Just gonna throw that out here: could it be that the very same women that judge Jen negatively for being with an older man in age or that judge you Danny for being with a younger woman in age are those who are in fact a tiny jealous that Jen actually has “so much wisdom for her age”
Something that I feel you Jen definitely heard a lot from people.
See women, jealousy can actually be our best friend if we just let it be the very same thing that leads us to the energy we long to embody.
Less throwing shade, more going into your own shadow and making the most out of it🤟🏼
I'm right now in London and I though so much about Jen, that I ended up watching the podcast while waiting on a bench for a friend.
Love the work your doing. Hope you're enjoying your day ❤
Dear Danny, Jen is awesome, but woman as smart as her we have million in POland!! send your friend there! we like latinos
Jen, from another London girl, if he doesn't give you your quality time, take a little trip to London 😉
Go into yourself and find your soul's purpose. Attracting the love match for you is not about ethnicity, community, geography...it's about "Finding the One" who's energy is for your journey. ❤ love is understanding, respectful, and appreciates.
Jen is actually right, her soul is much older than Danny....i love the way she gently puts things stepping up in her own power
Can we have a whole episode following on from what Jen was talking about sexual trauma/expectations/mindsets with women pleaseee
This is GOLD! Every human, single or married, should listen to this episode! Thank you both for your courage and willingness to share your story to help us get closer to ourselves! ❤
Thank you for picking my question! Mine was the first one. Thank you for answering
You guys are my favorite show 😍 and I'm saying that during Bridgerton season!! Love love love you both ❣️
I agree with Jen on the sexual energy - have had a long relationship with zero and others (after) with a ton. Phases of life and the other person.
standards come from our values. Preferences are not values and are more negotiable.
can you also.in the future, do things like a men's retreat and women's retreats? I think that would be so fun and healing.
He is not my mind type , but i feel sth with him somehow ! How can i choose right ? I am afraid that i can’t be in sexual contact with him because he is not my type?
I honestly love these two, literally never gonna stop spamming this comment section with love and appreciation for you both and for all those of us that can zoom into the creator of our experience as well as the one executing it and embrace it all. Be a witness, not a judge 🦋
I believe that standards grow from our triggers but when we live in fear (in our triggered state) we feel powerless and when we live in love (having standards) we feel empowered. But our triggers tells a lot about what we need and who we really are.
You know what is funny I recognized is, that while I was watching this episode I was triggered by Jen saying two times "what is wrong with you" to Danny. But I only perceive it negatively because that was something that my family said to me all the time and made me feel like something was wrong with me. So I discovered that personally I need a man in my life who is not judgemental towards me. That is now my standard because I know otherwise I would not be happy. But in my previous relationships (romantic and friendships) I stayed even though I was jugded and it triggered me but I felt powerless because of my fear and the need for Connection.
So nice to see that someone else can have a healthy loving relationship where someone says things that would be a no go for me but still works for them. We are all different and have to get to know our wounds so that we can find our standards.
Love you guys , your Story, your openess and how genuine you are. Truly helping people around the World ❤big hug from germany , Please never stop haha
❤
Jen is right on the sexual energy!!!!!!!!! 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙏🏼
❤ love you guys “wake up with wood” and “pendejo” - made my day 😂
Please do more podcast with Jen...she so coolll ❤❤❤
You too are great together - stuff what people say xxx