I was in denial about how hated I was in my family until I had to go no contact to get a break from the abuse. Once I got that space, I grieved, but I also gradually saw that my life started to make sense like it never had before. I was raised in a very messed up family that still normalizes abuse, and I am glad to be out.
Oh my. I'm sorry this happened to you. You sound like so many of my clients. It isn't until you build that space between you that you can clearly see what everything (or some of everything) meant. It's a learning process.
I am 5'10", I was 118lbs when I was living with my Mom. It would take me 1 YEAR to gain 5lbs.. I love food and eat all the time. My aunt is a Nurse practitioner specializing in thyroids and HER mom is a nutritionist. NOBODY could figure out why I was underweight. After I moved out of my mother's oppressive narcissistically psychopathic home. I started gaining weight like CRAZY. 10 lbs in 3 months! Now I'm 131lbs.. I'm trying to get to 135lbs. I KNOW I am better in ALL ways... I just have to build up my own "family"... So I stop yearning for people who wish to do me harm. It's sad, but I want to live. Stress K*LLS YOU FASTER.
Yes, once you block or go no contact with a narcissist, they will retaliate or engage in smear campaign. Going no contact with the support of my therapist and great information like this, helps a lot. Another helpful topic, thank you!🙏😻👍😮
100%. I stopped talking to my sister, wasn't even going no contact yet, just trying to calm down. And the smear campaign started. Once we went actual no contact, which seemed mutual, she sent another message: "you can't go no contact with me, cause I'm going no contact with you! But if you want to talk about it I'm open to doing that" 🤣 Then she topped it off by telling me the new lie about me in the smear campaign. It was such a transparent attempt to get me to talk to her. I finally blocked her on my phone after this. God knows what'll happen if she figures that out.
@@justinkevish Ir can be incredibly challenging. Shutting the door on everything so they can not reach you works. I changed my number and delated my Facebook account.
Not if they stole my social security number and my identity, commit crimes against me, won't stop & justice is non existent, this is a whole other ball game that's way beyond no contact.
Also cutting the relationship now puts you in control of your life, so the Narcissist has no control. If it is a near family member, you choose when & how contact is made... They must know that, maybe no contact is in order
Yes I’m going through it now, have imposed on my life and my girls lives they are paying people to ruin my relationships with my old friends, coworkers at my old job and now at my college!
Too overcome fear you must not scared of being murdered by the narcissist and not looking behind you. Police officers bravely walk through dangerous neighbourhoods full of narcissistic people and criminals daily. Think like a police officer.
Thank you! I'm glad this was helpful. Narcissistic injuries are hard to work through with the person. It would be nice if she could get over that. Some narcissists can if they are in treatment.
How to disengage from a covert Narc neighbor that I’ve never even had a conversation?! Narcs refuse to be ignore! Even if they’re blocked, they wil “appear” everywhere. Even if it just driving by u as ur driving running errands.
I'm not even sure what's happening to me at this point...seems my mom and family were ok while I was working but once I was injured at work it sure changed. Esp since I had to move in with my mom and stepdad since I'm unemployed right now. I got hurt even worse in July...now my back is so messed up I wasn't even able to walk. So my mom would make fun of me literally.. pretended to walk like I have to...then made fun of the art I do... Said showing my stepdad some still life's I did in school...said I acted like a 7 year old .. now I look back and I see how she trashed my dad to me... At a very young age...not that he was easy to live with either. But he encouraged me..and knew I was high strung as he called it. I'm a abuse survivor...all kinds of abuse...then I found out I may be autistic. I see how other family members are treated.. I even noticed how there are no pictures of my son who is 23 next to the rest of the grandkids... I'm so lost and upset right now I just want to run 😢😢😢 My ex husband was def a narcissist.. I was with him since I was 19 to age 47...cheated on me constantly...abused me and I was always told to go back to him... Of course I was my fault that he had to sleep around. Needless to say he's on his 4th marriage. But apparently family believed him ..he had me put in two mental hospitals and so much happened it literally destroyed me and my reputation 😢😢😢
My family of narcissists etc have stolen my identity & refuse to acknowledge it or give it back and God forbid if something happens to me I'm putting this out here in the public to know that I at least am trying to get help as I've contacted 30 people & zero help. At this point I have to go beyond no contact.
That's aweful. Do you have any proof that you can take to an attorney or the police? If they have truly taken your identity, that is a crime. Otherwise, if you are using this as a "figure of speech" to describe their evil behaviors, I understand. You certainly have to consider the pros and cons of staying involved with them.
Thank you for your response. Yes, these are real crimes they are committing. A multitude of crimes against me ever since my mother first stole my social security # and I cannot find a lawyer to help me I have gone to every single type of lawyer. I keep telling my trauma therapist that my family is despicable and she says no they're mentally ill.
I know a lot of people who suffer from mental health issues but they certainly are not criminals. My brother put me on the payroll, forges my signature, keeps the money for himself. he forces me to accept health insurance that he pays for that I asked him not to pay for because I can't afford the co-pays & he is literally going to send me into medical bankruptcy & when I asked him to stop committing these crimes he laughed at me, told me he didn't like me anymore.
And this is just the tip of the iceberg. I let my therapist & friends get my hopes up cuz I've tried to get justice before and in the United States of America I can safely say in my opinion there is no justice many times and it really sucks.
I've been no contact since April but unfortunately cuz of this financial enmeshment & crimes my mother created she is still trying to get me to kill myself from the grave cuz this was always her goal because then she would get attention & brag about what a great mother she is & she can't understand why her daughter doesn't like her? Really, she & my family stole my identity.
I was estranged from 4; siblings on the sibling feed 2 years ago. . My youngest narc sister had set up group chat. Then when my sister closest in age to me (2 nd oldest) was getting close to me..... Out of jealousy, my youngest sister destroyed my relationship with Connie. We were getting closer then she ostracized me and created drama by getting the rest to stop texting , on group chat and blocked me . Very sad how narcists always use control and power and damage relationship through gossip, smear campaigns, and triangulation .
I'm sorry. Just based on what you have shared here, I am sorry. There's always another side but this dynamic does impact so many siblings. It's terrible to see when I'm in the office. If only there were true consequences for this foolish behavior, we would be a better world.
Sometimes(many times) its a better idea to not let them know your plans and how you feel about them and the things you have seen.. You dont want them knowing exactly what you know because they will try to put blocks in your way from breaking free
That's true. I can't disagree with this. I did a video recently on "ghosting" and expressed that you don't want to do this either but rather, make a wise move out of the relationship. I hate to admit but sometimes you just have to leave and say nothing at all. This approach shouldn't be an approach with everyone, however. But using this wisely can avoid so much trouble.
Sometimes these personality types have more going on than meets the eye: ruclips.net/user/liveMcMvlD0AFVA?si=cORrqodOQzMltKWO
I was in denial about how hated I was in my family until I had to go no contact to get a break from the abuse. Once I got that space, I grieved, but I also gradually saw that my life started to make sense like it never had before. I was raised in a very messed up family that still normalizes abuse, and I am glad to be out.
Oh my. I'm sorry this happened to you. You sound like so many of my clients. It isn't until you build that space between you that you can clearly see what everything (or some of everything) meant. It's a learning process.
I am 5'10", I was 118lbs when I was living with my Mom.
It would take me 1 YEAR to gain 5lbs.. I love food and eat all the time. My aunt is a Nurse practitioner specializing in thyroids and HER mom is a nutritionist. NOBODY could figure out why I was underweight.
After I moved out of my mother's oppressive narcissistically psychopathic home. I started gaining weight like CRAZY. 10 lbs in 3 months! Now I'm 131lbs.. I'm trying to get to 135lbs.
I KNOW I am better in ALL ways...
I just have to build up my own "family"... So I stop yearning for people who wish to do me harm.
It's sad, but I want to live.
Stress K*LLS YOU FASTER.
Yes, once you block or go no contact with a narcissist, they will retaliate or engage in smear campaign. Going no contact with the support of my therapist and great information like this, helps a lot. Another helpful topic, thank you!🙏😻👍😮
My narc was half a decade into her smear campaign by the time i blocked her on everything, and it still caused an injury and made things worse... 😢
Well said! 🤗 And that's awesome you have a therapist to rely on. Blessing!
100%. I stopped talking to my sister, wasn't even going no contact yet, just trying to calm down. And the smear campaign started. Once we went actual no contact, which seemed mutual, she sent another message: "you can't go no contact with me, cause I'm going no contact with you! But if you want to talk about it I'm open to doing that" 🤣 Then she topped it off by telling me the new lie about me in the smear campaign. It was such a transparent attempt to get me to talk to her. I finally blocked her on my phone after this. God knows what'll happen if she figures that out.
@ Like wise, thank you!🙏🤗💕
@@justinkevish Ir can be incredibly challenging. Shutting the door on everything so they can not reach you works. I changed my number and delated my Facebook account.
Cutting contact with the Narcissist stops your empowerment of them and their control of you
Not if they stole my social security number and my identity, commit crimes against me, won't stop & justice is non existent, this is a whole other ball game that's way beyond no contact.
Also cutting the relationship now puts you in control of your life, so the Narcissist has no control. If it is a near family member, you choose when & how contact is made... They must know that, maybe no contact is in order
Well, that's true. I agree. This can be frustrating for both parties but sometimes it just has to be. I agree.
Thank you so much for bringing up FOG! Learning about this was/is a game changer!
Yes, absolutely! It is a game-changer. Once you recognize this, you can move forward without looking back too much.
Yes I’m going through it now, have imposed on my life and my girls lives they are paying people to ruin my relationships with my old friends, coworkers at my old job and now at my college!
I'm sorry!😫 You will encounter these people for all of your life. The best approach is to figure out how to deal with them.
Lay down the law, Tamara! People need to know this stuff!
😁🤗 Agree. We need more information and research!
Too overcome fear you must not scared of being murdered by the narcissist and not looking behind you. Police officers bravely walk through dangerous neighbourhoods full of narcissistic people and criminals daily. Think like a police officer.
Well, I can't disagree here. Some narcissists "smell fear" and will attempt to defeat others based on this fear alone.
Never thought about this view.
Great video Tamara!! I can relate to this with my MIL when I gave her a narcissistic injury by going no contact due to her toxic behavior.
Thank you! I'm glad this was helpful.
Narcissistic injuries are hard to work through with the person. It would be nice if she could get over that. Some narcissists can if they are in treatment.
How to disengage from a covert Narc neighbor that I’ve never even had a conversation?! Narcs refuse to be ignore! Even if they’re blocked, they wil “appear” everywhere. Even if it just driving by u as ur driving running errands.
I'm not even sure what's happening to me at this point...seems my mom and family were ok while I was working but once I was injured at work it sure changed. Esp since I had to move in with my mom and stepdad since I'm unemployed right now. I got hurt even worse in July...now my back is so messed up I wasn't even able to walk. So my mom would make fun of me literally.. pretended to walk like I have to...then made fun of the art I do... Said showing my stepdad some still life's I did in school...said I acted like a 7 year old .. now I look back and I see how she trashed my dad to me... At a very young age...not that he was easy to live with either. But he encouraged me..and knew I was high strung as he called it. I'm a abuse survivor...all kinds of abuse...then I found out I may be autistic. I see how other family members are treated.. I even noticed how there are no pictures of my son who is 23 next to the rest of the grandkids... I'm so lost and upset right now I just want to run 😢😢😢
My ex husband was def a narcissist.. I was with him since I was 19 to age 47...cheated on me constantly...abused me and I was always told to go back to him... Of course I was my fault that he had to sleep around. Needless to say he's on his 4th marriage. But apparently family believed him ..he had me put in two mental hospitals and so much happened it literally destroyed me and my reputation 😢😢😢
My family of narcissists etc have stolen my identity & refuse to acknowledge it or give it back and God forbid if something happens to me I'm putting this out here in the public to know that I at least am trying to get help as I've contacted 30 people & zero help. At this point I have to go beyond no contact.
That's aweful. Do you have any proof that you can take to an attorney or the police? If they have truly taken your identity, that is a crime. Otherwise, if you are using this as a "figure of speech" to describe their evil behaviors, I understand. You certainly have to consider the pros and cons of staying involved with them.
Thank you for your response. Yes, these are real crimes they are committing. A multitude of crimes against me ever since my mother first stole my social security # and I cannot find a lawyer to help me I have gone to every single type of lawyer. I keep telling my trauma therapist that my family is despicable and she says no they're mentally ill.
I know a lot of people who suffer from mental health issues but they certainly are not criminals. My brother put me on the payroll, forges my signature, keeps the money for himself. he forces me to accept health insurance that he pays for that I asked him not to pay for because I can't afford the co-pays & he is literally going to send me into medical bankruptcy & when I asked him to stop committing these crimes he laughed at me, told me he didn't like me anymore.
And this is just the tip of the iceberg. I let my therapist & friends get my hopes up cuz I've tried to get justice before and in the United States of America I can safely say in my opinion there is no justice many times and it really sucks.
I've been no contact since April but unfortunately cuz of this financial enmeshment & crimes my mother created she is still trying to get me to kill myself from the grave cuz this was always her goal because then she would get attention & brag about what a great mother she is & she can't understand why her daughter doesn't like her? Really, she & my family stole my identity.
Thank you for your work. This helps so much ❤❤❤
You're welcome! 🤗 I'm so glad to hear that. And thank you!
I was estranged from 4; siblings on the sibling feed 2 years ago. . My youngest narc sister had set up group chat. Then when my sister closest in age to me (2 nd oldest) was getting close to me..... Out of jealousy, my youngest sister destroyed my relationship with Connie. We were getting closer then she ostracized me and created drama by getting the rest to stop texting , on group chat and blocked me . Very sad how narcists always use control and power and damage relationship through gossip, smear campaigns, and triangulation .
I'm sorry. Just based on what you have shared here, I am sorry. There's always another side but this dynamic does impact so many siblings. It's terrible to see when I'm in the office. If only there were true consequences for this foolish behavior, we would be a better world.
*Protection Of Those I Care About♡
Excellent information Tamara , so on point as always 🙏‼️🎯
Thank you! I'm glad this is helpful.😊
Most Definitely
Sometimes(many times) its a better idea to not let them know your plans and how you feel about them and the things you have seen.. You dont want them knowing exactly what you know because they will try to put blocks in your way from breaking free
That's true. I can't disagree with this. I did a video recently on "ghosting" and expressed that you don't want to do this either but rather, make a wise move out of the relationship. I hate to admit but sometimes you just have to leave and say nothing at all. This approach shouldn't be an approach with everyone, however. But using this wisely can avoid so much trouble.
Absolutely enlightening advice u are a Guru
Thank you! I'm glad this was helpful to you.
I love this channel. Thanks for sharing valuable information, knowledge and wisdom. Tamara you are a blessing from God. 😇🙏🏽
Thank you so much! Amen. I truly hope to be that for many, God willing. Glad to have you on the channel!
All The Above Happened To Me
I'm sorry 😔
Thankfully, you can rise above with the right tools and perspective.
@@TherapistTamaraHill Yes
I Agree Wholeheartedly!!
And With The Help Of You
And My God Jehovah
I Will Rise Above It
I love your channel. You really helped me so much. Thank you so much for your channel 🎉🎉🎉
You are so welcome! And thank you! I'm so very glad to hear that.😊
pls block that person. if i was them i would block delete and move on.
Sitting, Sis! ❤
🤗
📗🖊️ excelente colega
Muchas gracias!
LIFESAVING❤❤💯💯
Good to know!
Like My Cousin and Aunts
N Other Relatives
Totally get that.
@ Thank You 🙏🏽
❤️❤️❤️❤️👌👌👌🙏🙏🙏✅✅✅
🤗
Larry Hunter
PRECISELY!!💯🫂✨️🤍✨️🌠💫💐, THANK YOU FOR THIS TAMARA 😢😔.
You're welcome!!😊