Why being disabled makes me a better parent [CC]
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I must say that I really love how you respect Rupert's sense of privacy, and blur his face when it's on camera, etc. It's so refreshing to see a baby that is so loved and respected that you don't exploit him for money or internet attention. How wonderful!
I love to see this also, I am mindful to try to always respect my daughter's privacy on my instagram as it is public. I don't always completely hide her face (there are very few pictures where her face is visible or partly visible) now she is older and I can ask her how she feels about it, but being 7 I am mindful to guide her and decide what is ok I would never post a picture of her if she said no though.
I was just about to comment the same!
I personally decided to only watch people that treat their kids this way. Where the adults are the main characters and it's about *their* life, that just happens to include kids. And whenever the children are in the view, their privacy is kept as much as possible.
So thank you Jessica for treating your son this way!!
Agreed. As much as I’d love to see him (we all know he’s adorable), he can’t consent to that yet, and he deserves that respect!
@@klaraklabel8846 Contrast that to a show in Korea where they legit pro-vlog a family (mostly the dad and his two toddlers) ala The Truman Show, down to the camera placements, which had me raising my eyebrows while my dad watch a video.
Jessica, the most important aspect you did not even mention - the fact that you THOUGHT about being a parent. Most people never even think about it and assume that they would be 'good' parents, without ever thinking about what parenthood entails. I think the biggest gift we could give our children is to be mindful parents who actually consciously think about the actions and thought processes involved in parenthood. In my experience, it does NOT come naturally, it takes conscious effort. I think you and Claudia are wonderful parents.
Absolutely this. They chose to be parents, thought about it, and did it when they were ready.
Exactly this. 99% of why people are bad parents, is that they don’t think through the responsibilities of being parents and plan for it. And have empathy for it. And understand their abilities. And these women do. So, that makes them good parents.
So true! Wish I had this type of full love- instead of having a child just because youre expected to.
such a good point! i am also really glad sometimes that i'm gonna be a well-thought through parent because me & my coparent are talking through a lot of things before we even get started. and since we're not cis hetero, there is no chance of *oops* babies ^^
Captions are ready! Thank you for your patience
For those waiting, the auto captions are working really well on this one for me so far 🤣
@@aprildawnsunshine4326 I agree!
Where did you get the pop socket on your phone
@@aprildawnsunshine4326 same!
Thank you for always taking the time to make descriptive captions, Jessica!
I'm also disabled and have been working really hard to try to get to a point where I can have kids. Videos like this mean the world to me.
Me too 🥺 I hope you get that. We can do this 💛
Same. I’ve know I wanted to be a mum longer than I know that I was disabled.
Absolutely same!!!
Same here. I still get scared though because my most prominent symptom is chronic vertigo so.......😳
Same same same!! Disabled mom representation for the win! 💞
Well honestly who wouldn't miss Claudia? It's lovely to see Jessica on her own, but when Claudia is there, Jessica just glows, and besides, Claudia is so funny. Together, they make a great pair, then add in Rupert and two little dogs and you get the Utube channel.
They are so fun to watch when they are together. The way Jessica laughs and smiles at everything Claudia says is so cute!
Totally! They are great together. :)
You can tell they're madly in love while being totally realistic about certain limitations. Fully embracing your partner's mind/bodyset means you're much more aware of what may happen at any point in time. I think that parenting is basically about navigating preoccupations versus allowing the child to make mistakes/fail. It's how we learn - all of us. I admire the three of you.
@@jennifers5560 I think them being critical while being themselves without being judgemental is really refreshing. Too many people try to silence/belittle others by asking stereotypical questions and those two here just reinvent the game... Great job.
@@ireneinbarcelona I agree!
If anyone is worried about dropping babies - my able-bodied dad FELL DOWN THE STAIRS while holding baby me and we were both just fine - evidently I really enjoyed sliding down on his stomach!
I fell down stairs at 1 years old or so, I was fine as far as we know
This exact thing happened to me too. my dad fell down the stairs with me as a baby. He was bruised badly, but otherwise ok, and I was totally fine.
Same!! I'm a little weird, but otherwise completely fine!
The ability to CATCH a baby is what really counts
My dad tripped UP the stairs holding my sister! He sprained his ankle. She thought it was hilarious. I think she was about 8 months old.
Both my brother and my Dad have ReSound hearing aids and they have been life-changing for them! It's so nice that they can stream content through their hearing aids from the TV or other devices as it means that the rest of the (non-HOH) family doesn't have to have the TV on so loud!
I also have EDS so it is really nice to hear about the ways in which it can be incorporated into parenting and that it can even make you a better parent. Thank you so much for sharing such a positive view of this!
My dad has hearing aids but he still puts the tv and music on way too loud. I also probably need hearing aids and play stuff a bit loud but he plays everything so loud.
I am the daughter of a disabled parent. I never felt like my Mom was a bad Mom and I never felt like I was missing out on something due to her illness. On the contrary, I learned a lot from her and we have a deep relationship. Because she was not able to physically do things with us, that just meant we had more time to talk. I literally feel like my Mom taught me everything she knew. Having that breadth of knowledge has been a great resource in my life.
I never felt like I was missing out either by having a disabled mom.
There were a few differences between her and other parents but honestly most of the time even now as an adult I just forget she even is disabled because it's so normal to me.
All the small things even now as an adult I do for her i don't notice either because it's almost just muscle memory. Best way to describe it at least.
I only ever notice the difference when I see other people who aren't as used to interact with her for example my partner.
There were very few actually annoying things and one was definitely her not hearing the door bell and she would always lock the doors at night so I have been locked out on a few occasions but that's about it. She now has one of those door bells that has a receiver you can take with you to every room and that makes the sound much louder and you can also change the sound to something that is easier to hear. I wish she had that when I still lived at home but that just taught me to always have my keys with me. I also still have keys to her apartment so I can just let myself in.
@@DieAlteistwiederda yeah exactly! As a child, I was aware that my Mom could not walk and was always tired, but that wasn’t a bad thing. It just sort of was a part of who she was.
My Mom has red hair and can’t walk and my friends moms could walk and had blonde hair (and your Mom taught you to always have your keys on you!)
Thank you so much for sharing this. Really reassuring to read.
Nice to read this as a disabled parent. My children are wonderful and I'm very proud of them. I bet your mother was very proud of you and the wonderful person you have become xxx
@@gabbiebarnard7580 thank you, that’s very kind of you to say that.
I also find it a advantage with my autism when I connecting with children. Often I’m very popular both with small children but also teenagers. Like ask for their interest, knowing boundaries and not force kids to hug you, be literally when you speak with them etc.
Yeah I feel like I connect well with kids too! I don't think I'm in a position where I want to have kids any time soon, but I really like spending time with other people's children. I've hung out with some toddlers lately and they just love to feel things and listen to noises that things make and you're just supposed to monologue around them and ask them questions they won't answer haha
Same! I hope it will benefit me when I become a mum.
I also do well with small children! I find that it gets harder when they enter that “adhering you social rules” phase (about age 6?) because they’re often in a place where they understand the necessity of and begin establishing social standards a bit better than I really understand them but, before that, they’re very open to people being just a little different. Very literal, intense reactions, in your head a lot…it doesn’t bother kids because they’re pretty much like that until they really ingrain those social skills
yup, children are really literal in their thinking and language. you are right. Mr. Rogers, who is a suspectrum to me, had a special protocol for interaction with children that was based on that.
Same! I have ADHD and suspect I’m on the spectrum as well. I’m also a nanny and being blunt with boundaries and also easily respecting kids boundaries definitely seems to be more natural for me. Also I feel like I seem to have more fun and more easily connect with the kids I care for. It’s definitely a benefit
This is such a painful topic for me. Parenting with disability. My children are grown now (20 and almost 18), but when they were younger, when I first became disabled, people tried to take my children away from me. There was an (erroneous) assumption that me being disabled meant I was automatically a bad mom. So people tried to take my kids... multiple times, multiple different people. I have a non disabled husband who was helping but no one ever asked if my husband was helping with the kids. Or if I was actually able to care for them. There's a lot of biases especially against disabled women in my experience. I hope it is getting better with time. I'm doing my best to advocate against ableism. I know you can be a great mom even with disability. ❤
Sarah Forbes, I am so sorry you had to experience this. People can be so full of assumptions and think they know best instead of first asking questions and really listening and open their minds to a broader view in what is possible for a human being with disabilities who is also a parent.
We always miss Claudia! Her dry, British humor is fabulous.
as a disabled person who plans on having kids your videos help a lot with showing that although we may not be able to do some things, we also bring other strengths and points of view to raising a kid. love you both and thank you
Omg the worried you would drop him thing I can relate to so much! Right before my best friend had her first baby, my godson, I started dropping things all the time and my shoulders got significantly worse with flares, pain, and weakness. I was so scared I was going to drop him to the point where for like the first couple of months I would only hold him sitting down. And I did need a lot of help then as far as propping and stuff because babies are heavier than you'd think especially when all they're doing is sleeping lol. But by month 4 I was walking holding him with one arm and carrying his bottle or my coke in the other hand. It really surprised me how gradually and how much strength I built up with him. I still could never carry him in his car seat and now that he's 4 I have to sit to hold him and for hugs and stuff but I was capable of more than I thought. She's having baby number 2 in May and I feel a lot less anxiety this time around.
I was VERY worried about dropping my daughter as a baby, but tbh the only time I kind of did, I was sitting down and could immediately feel i was struggling to hold her so let her gently slide down into her pram. She thought it was hilarious 😆 whilst I was hugely relieved that instincts kicked in ok!
This is so true about bilingual children with One Parent, One Language Rule: The kids tend to not like their parents switching languages. It's not so much that they think you don't understand the language, even with bilingual parents. I started speaking only English with a trilingual 3 year old CODA and they didn't like me signing to them. While I am fluent in ASL, if I signed, the kid would they'd roll their eyes at me.
Children are learners of their language. The inconsistency with 1 parent, 1 language drives them batty. Makes them think more than they can handle.
Alternatively, I also worked with another bilingual hearing child with parents who spoke German and English -switching it up. They encouraged me to use ASL as much as I wanted. From infancy, I went back and forth between English and ASL. The kid did not mind (though usually responded to me in English). I mainly spoke English with them, some sign, and as I was already learning German as a 4th language (still am), I would practice a little with the kid and they did not mind it at all.
It even varies even between kids of the same family. My trilingual cousins all respond differently to their families' languages. Our theory was that it depended on their relationship with the parent that spoke that language or their emotional association (e.g., oldest get scolded in by his parents in Japanese and Mandarin so responded best to English - which the rest of the family spoke to him -, next child was close to her mother and responded best in Japanese etc.). I also am definitely somehow better at speaking Mandarin to older people weirdly, but that might be because I've mainly only spoken it with my grandmother or when I volunteered at care homes.
“I can paralyze parts of my body,” like it’s a party trick. I’m a disabled mom, though I didn’t start getting sick until my youngest was about 3? He’s 14 now. And four other boys-18, 20, 22, 24. They’re adorable, even though they’re all taller than me.
I was a spousal caregiver for 15 years (before i developed a chronic illness/ disability myself), my ex has life- long disablities, we didn't have children but wanted them. Often, when I was upset about not having children, able- bodied, well- meaning parents would tell me 'Maybe it's a good thing you guys don't have kids' [because parenting is hard, and they couldn't imagine doing it with a disability/ caregiver}. So... 1-- thanks for assuming I/ we couldn't handle it, and that a disabled person can't raise a child. and 2--. that is the most hurtful and painful thing you can say to a person who wants kids, IMO. Not to mention the fact that we knew a good number of people with disabilities who had children!! (often people that siad able- bodied commentator also knew...). oh, and 3-- they also seemed to conveniently forget that at any time/ moment /day they themselves could become disabled... As you can probably imagine, i really struggle on Mother's Day. :(
I loved the family's outfits in this video: Jessica in red, Claudia in blue, with Rupert in yellow making all three primary colors, and everybody wearing white to pull it together!
Yay, Claudia! I missed you terribly! I hope you'll both have an amazing holiday ❤
Her hair looks great doesn't it? 💖
The arrow pointing at you saying "clumsy adult" lol. Love your sense of humour. That boy is very lucky to have such funny parents.
This might be the first time that a parent has said that their baby wants too much broccoli
It's Jessica and Claudia's baby! Of course he loves broccoli ☺️
mine use to adore cucumber and then when she turned 2 wouldn't touch it ever again 😆
@@Non_auro_sed_ferro_recuperanda Are you lost?
Lol. My little cousin wrote “broccoli” as his favorite food on a school assignment when he was 5. And he truly MEANT IT. That’s how you know there’s good parenting and good cooking in the house.
Broccoli can be delicious, when made correctly! And also when kids aren’t nonstop fed processed food, natural foods tend to taste naturally yummier. I say this as someone who was raised on cheap fast food and Kraft mac and cheese and gushers candy. And…. In my teens and 20’s I re-trained myself. Detoxed out junk food. Only ate healthy food. And now healthy food tastes DELICIOUS to me. Your palate trains itself to like it’s environment. So yes, they clearly have a healthy environment for him nutritionally.
Also-have you ever made oven roasted broccoli coated in oil and a bit of cheese??? Yummmmmm. Tasty even for the veggie-haters.
Hahaha I thought my son was the only one!!!! He's 7 now but even as a toddler he would LOVE broccoli 🥦, a particularly funny moment was during Christmas 🎄 dinner, when me and my son (I was a single parent in poverty at the time due to fleeing domestic abuse), travelled 6 hours via public transport down south to London to stay at my mum's for Christmas week. As well as me, my then 3 year old son and my mum, my stepdad, nan and teenage brother and sister were also round the table having Christmas dinner. My stepdad is an amazing cook and my family always goes BIG when it comes to all things Christmas. Anyway Christmas dinner was served buffet style so we could all dish up our own portions so my son after of getting fed up of me topping up his broccoli with more modest and child friendly portions, he decided to literally pick up the large brown of broccoli put it on his lap and literally eat half the bowl with a fork.
He used to have delays in his speech and has a few different learning disabilities (though no intellectual disabilities, IQ is actually above average, though not genius levels) up until the age of 5 he would pronounce broccoli "bock-lee", it was so cute 😁.
He also loved and still loves Brussel sprouts, just like his mummy!😁😁
My mom was not that patient to the point my grandma would take me after kindergarten to read at the library because my mom was not interested. So it really does take a village because you never knew what is going to make you lose that patients. I know I say this often in my comments but you both are really a lovely family. And its really nice to see that its possible to be that genuine about it.
I'm not disabled but have a chronic illness and this has filled me with a lot of optimism. I also think that, both of you, but Jessica in particular, is thriving as a parent. That is really wonderful to see! A lot of able-bodied people go through life and on a (physical level, at least) - it's quite a breeze. I really do think that your physical limitations are standing you in good stead to be a more empathetic and patient parent - something that a lot of able-bodied people of our generation struggle with in our "click a button and you got it" world.
Most of the vloggers I watch are able-bodied, and I sometimes feel that (although they'd never say it), there's a tinge of regret since they became parents, being that there life is not as easy as it once was. I really don't get those vibes with you guys. Rupert is very, very lucky!
This is a really lovely video. Not that I want children (I gotta admit being disabled is part of that reason, not bc I think I'd be a bad parent, but bc I feel like I wouldn't have the energy to raise a child) but it is nice seeing another disabled person finding positive aspects of being a disabled parent.
Well... This brought me to tears. I am currently disabled because of my trauma related disorders and ADHD. I am in therapy and on medications and am working hard towards my goal, which is rejoining the workforce in a way that is both rewarding and sustainable. Ideally I would have full financial independence, but we'll have to see. I just feel so helpless all the time. And although the state grants me a (barely) living wage, I hate being dependant. Your video is giving the space to be mild towards myself. I do not have to be "normal" to be a contributing member is society. Even now, people have told me my mere presence brings them joy. I'm childlike in my joy of the world, and I'm generally a happy and bubbly person. So, I feel I do help others, even if I am a burden to society. I really do look up to you. So, thank you for being a beacon light.
*sending hugs*. You sound like a wonderful person. I truly hope you reach your goals of healing. You deserve to.
That doesn’t make you a burden, we all need help sometimes that’s what the system is there for.
We shouldn’t be judged as ppl by our economic activity.
It’s amazing to see the positive you’ve found with raising Rupert
We had a little giggle at the gymnastics suggestion 😅
And it was nice to see Walter.
And we missed seeing Claudia
I am disabled and am due to have my planned c section tomorrow. I have to say that I'm quite nervous, but so excited about meeting our baby boy 💜 xx
Congratulations xxx
@@bethm9384 thankyou very much!!
Rupert is getting so big! Oh my goodness! You guys are so precious together, you literally finish one another's sentences! One of the things I like best about your channel is that you seldom don't look into the camera so reading lips is very easy.
The way Claudia said "I'm back" at the start of the video was adorable
Came to this channel years ago because of a video on deafness, stayed because the content is amazing, and today I laughed when I saw that this video’s sponsor is GN ReSound! I’m currently a second year AuD (doctor of audiology) student in America and I work with ReSound hearing aids all the time. Glad to see you’re loving them and getting good benefit from them, Jessica! (The rechargeable case is one of my favorite features, too!)
Firstly, it is always like a ray of sunshine to get a notification of a new video of yours! Secondly, I am so glad that you made this video! I know you were dealing with some insecurities around this topic, so it is great to share your positive thoughts on it with others and definitely for you to have them. Also: Yay, Claudia!
He’s so big! The three of you are adorable and I’m glad to see you guys. Stay safe and happy!
How are you two always such wholesomeness goals 😭 Your little "you're the best mama/mummy in the world"/"our baby's pretty great" exchange was just the best! ❤️
Yes, we missed our gorgeous Claudia! I’m so glad y’all are getting away to somewhere warm and sunny. Jessica, I know it’s scary. I have a bit of agoraphobia (had a LOT of it at one point) and always struggle when I have to go somewhere. But I’m nearly always glad I did. I’m rooting for you.
This filled me with hope and joy, i have depression and i think this way of looking at disability will help me when i become a mum one day, thank you xx
Anytime a child can learn another language is truly a blessing! I wish I could talk more than English and Swedish. I learned some signs due to a person in my kindergarden group that had Down syndrome and I’m still thankful for knowing those words and songs. But I wish that I kept learning it so I truly could speak it
Two languages is still awesome. Most English speaking natives tend not to learn a second language unless they really have to because English has become the linga franca of the world. But also, since you speak Swedish, you can understand Norwegian also, right? So that's like three languages!
@@Lensynth yes both Norwegian and danish but I speak Swedish when I answer them. To understand English quite fluid is a standard in Sweden so that’s nice and often a requirement to get many jobs.
Watching your videos... "Missng Claudia" (tm)
Doing a sandwich while watching your videos... "Missing Claudia" (tm)
Eating a Sandwich while watching videos... "Missing Claudia" (tm)
... etc... "Missing Claudia" (tm)
Yey.... There she is, Welcome back Claudia. We've missed you
That's one of my favorites...always made me smile. 🙂
”No mother, use your voice”
Hahaha I missed Claudia’s humor so much 😂🥰
Having EDS and POTS and two young, very active children can be a serious challenge, but you’re right, there are positives! Thank you for the invitation to consider that. I find that even though I can’t chase after my kids like I’d like to, I do end up reading aloud to them a lot because it’s something I can do in a seated position and hold their interest. So now both of my kids are serious book lovers. Also, honestly, I can’t work full time, so I have ended up being a mostly stay-at-home mom, which I wouldn’t be if I could physically work full time. Thus they get a lot of quality time with mom. I’m going to keep thinking of the positives instead of feeling guilty about the negatives!
Yay Hi Claudia :)
I love my resound hearing aid too, it is such a life saver. (And my hearing friends are very jealous of the noise canceling option in noisy cafes LOL)
Thank you for another brilliant video and your lovely family of 5
I'm an autistic mum. My 8mo daughter also has sensory issues and I can recognize when and why something is bothering her. I can also communicate well without words.
Hi! I am A blind early childhood educator in Los Angeles. My specialty is an infant and toddlers, and I’ve been doing this for about six years. If any of your people have any questions feel free to ask!
Do toddlers take advantage of your disability? I’ve had adults take advantage of my disabilities when it’s convenient for them , so I’m worried about that.
@@Angi3_6 it is true that children tend to model after there parents. But from what I’ve experienced I haven’t had issues with children taking advantage of my disability. Actually, they think really helpful! For example picking up things for me and stuff. But if I did feel like I was being taken advantage of, I gently, but firmly tell them why that’s not OK. And usually, I have my kids from age zero. so they are conditioned differently from other children. Thank you for your question!
What duties do parents usually hire you for?
@@seekingabsolution1907 overall child care. From 0 to 1 years old, I am responsible for feeding, changing diapers, nap times, and reading books. (I memorize the picture books for the children) from 1- 3 years old, I am responsible for potty training, teaching the alphabet both in Korean, and English. I teach shapes through wooden blocks, also the alphabet in the same manner. Colors are a little difficult… But I usually delegate that to children’s shows. They tend to shout out the colors when they appear on the screen, so I don’t have to do them myself!And if the parents have any developmental questions, I answer them.
I think the biggest question the parents asked me is when they’re about two years old. What to do about constipation. Because, for some odd reason children tend to have serious constipation around this age. KIWIS! Kiwis are always in the house because of this reason. Lol!
¿Do they try to describe things to you after being told you're blind?
¿And how do you tell them?
Jessica, I remember that in a prior video you said you rarely wore your old hearing aids both at the same time because the type of earmold made you feel like your head was blocked.
Does your new pair feel different? Do you find yourself wanting to wear both at once?
Really appreciate this. I'm trying to conceive right now and have osteoarthritis and fibromyalgia so I've been a bit worried about how I'll cope.
Have the dogs ever eaten one of your heating aids? I work in home insurance and that happens all the time.
Hi Jessica, would you be interesting in making a video about FOMO and disability? I would really be interested in hearing your perspective on this!
"Being messy is not a disability." LOL, something my family could definitely use against me (I'm simultaneously the only physically disabled and most disorganized person in my family, and I don't even have Jessica's memory issues as an excuse).
Claudia’s hair looks amazing! You guys are amazing parents. I find it really helpful to see another disabled person as a parent, because I really want a family but don’t know how best to adapt things for my disability
Absolutely gather as much info as you can, I'm sure you will. I naively thought that I would be able to get help with community support and aids as a disabled parent but was brushed off by social services ("we cannot fund your need to parent your daughter" was their response!) and they said because there were no safeguarding issues they wouldn't offer any help with parenting support at all. The community OTs really wanted to help but said they had no access to any products at all for helping disabled parents (I struggled with baby baths as a big one), we custom made our own changing table to best suit me changing her whilst in my chair (although I often just changed her on the sofa) we adapted a seatbelt for her to sit safely on my lap on my powerchair for trips out as a toddler and older. There is more available now, even just 7 years on and disabled parenting groups on facebook too.
Different disabilities but I can relate so much to my years as a parent and grandad. Patience with children is definitely one of my strengths and somehow getting to their level.
P. S. Always good to see my favourite RUclips parents.
of course we missed you claudia 🙏 the two of you have such a wonderful dynamic to watch and it's always great to see you together
I have the same fears being a disabled person wanting kids when I was younger I wondered if I could even have kids then I wondered if I would find a could find love and how it would go with me raising a baby. Now I don't have as much worry about it anymore you guys give me hope
Rupert has the funniest, coolest, most loving mums. Lucky kid.
Rupert is so lucky to have two mothers that are loving and willing to consider his perspective for where he is at right now in his development. Especially blessed to have parents that not only love him, but can also model a healthy love.
You both are glowing!! Glad you're so happy❤
This was such a video of good cheer for me today. My daughter is 7 now and I have been disabled for over 20 years. I expect I had much the same fears as Jessica, but I have also found my disability to be a huge plus in terms of applying my personal experience to my parenting. I know my partner was quite anxious about my physical parenting abilities when we were expecting her, probably more so than me and I know others were as well. But I am certainly the more patient parent lol She is now being assessed for Autism spectrum and here again my experience of my own neurology is helping a great deal in terms of sharing with her my experiences and things that have helped me (although I am not autistic myself I have a neurological disability and have features similar to her). One lovely thing too is as a wheelchair user we have had years of joyful trips out with her on my lap - it's been one of her favourite things to do ever and we're all a bit sad now that she's too big to sit on my lap in my chair anymore! But LOTS of wonderful memories and since we were able to until she was 6 I'm hopeful it will stay with her as a lovely memory. We have had some really difficult times especially when she was a newborn, my body had not yet learnt or had built the muscle strength needed. When I get on the floor I have to crawl and pull myself up on furniture to get up again, I'm pretty slow, but I believe it has also taught her patience as well (some of the time lol!) I was always absolutely determined that she should never be a carer for me (I am in NO way criticising families with young carers) it just didn't feel right for us, but with that, she regularly offers to help me with things and I'll accept if I think it will bring her joy to help out (she offers to help her dad too). We've very much co-parented since she was born and as Jessica and Claudia said with their parenting, we divide up the parenting 'jobs'/roles according to who is best able to do them and that very much works both ways! I will take any opportunity to do art and crafting with her, also baking and making costumes. Her dad will be the one to take her to the park (sometimes we all go), or on hill walks, hikes etc, we all play games together, take it in turns to do the school run (unless I'm too ill that day), read with her, have imagination play with her etc. She loves it all. We love it all. We are struggling with a lot in our lives, my health, our housing, my mobility equipment, my ability to do my self employed design work, my regular hospital treatment, money etc. It's overwhelming at times and also easy to personally feel we are failing, especially as we are only just learning about ASD and trying to access services and finding that a huge struggle in itself. Again my own experiences of struggling to access the support I needed for myself over a long period of time have taught me (unfortunately) the resilience and tenacity required when trying to access support. We are so blessed despite the struggles we have and being parents is profoundly wonderful. I second that being disabled brings many benefits to parenting. Thank you Jessica and Claudia and everyone here sharing x
You are a good Mom. Your daughter will have good memories of her childhood. She will remember being with you, feeling cared for and having fun with you. The fact that she offers to help, shows that you are raising a beautiful, thoughtful child. Sending you positive energy!
I genuinely missed awesome wife/mom/person named Claudia. She is fun and totally relatable. Plus both lesbian moms is always better than one!
I think you’re both great mums and you make a great family, and love seeing Claudia in this video. I do love how respect Rupert’s privacy and let him choose when he can if he wants to also. I did enjoy this video a lot and love the three of you so much and love watching your videos. Thank you so much for doing this video and bringing to our attention that motherhood is not scary but you have to learn how to look after a child.
Are you planning to bring back the answering g a question at the end of your videos. I used to enjoy those like they were a little bonus at the end.
I think so many elderly would need those hearing aids! I feel like most often the ordinary hearing aids don’t even work.
As an Audiologist I can also say they're fab too 😀
The way you fall looks like one of the dancing tube men at car dealerships
First of all, you two are ADORABLE!
I also found that sign language was extremely helpful with small children. I stumbled upon it by accident, looking for kids' shows and found a show called Signing Time, which was made by a mom whose child was born deaf and they all learned sign language to communicate. However, since I barely knew any sign language (well ASL in my case... BSL? is slightly different? I know milk is the same now, haha), we mostly only used words... milk, all done (for eating)... a few others. We still use a few signs and I love it that as long as I can get their eye contact, I can talk to them instead of attempting to yell when they're far away. It also helps during meltdowns when my kids can't seem to be able to form words and especially my youngest will sign, usually just no when I ask if they want a hug or something.
I’ve been on antidepressants for 8 years now and one of the side effects is it can possibly cause birth defects so i won’t be able to take it when/if i get pregnant. I’m truly terrified about what will happen and worried i won’t be a good mom.
Also that i may get Post partem depression, which i cannot imagine would go well with PTSD and generalized anxiety
I’m almost 30 and my partner and I have discussed pregnancy and becoming parents extensively, but I’ve had a lot happen to me and am only now coming to terms with my limitations as a disabled person. Becoming a parent is so scary to me but this perspective is so reassuring 💕 Thank you both!!
Yay! Claudia’s back!
Wow, you are really getting started with those 2022 goals! Have fun in Tenerife!
I love my rechargeable Hearing aids I don’t have resound but I love them ❤️
I find being autistic is so helpful in working with kids- they seem to like that I treat them basically like small adults who sometimes need a little more help. I've always gotten along best with people who are significantly older or younger than me, even as a kid :'-) it also helps that of my five (soon to be six !!!) nieces and nephews, almost ALL of them are disabled in some way 👍👍
Your videos about deafness are so much more helpful to me now than I ever expected. I always found them interesting, but now that my fiancé has hearing aids, you’re a helpful resource to me, and I’m very thankful. His hearing aids are primarily for tinnitus retraining therapy, so he needs them on pretty much 24/7, and I can’t believe how much of a faff the batteries are. It’s a shame he needs them most at night because the rechargeable ones seem so much easier to deal with.
Claudia's deadpan humour sent me XDDDD "No mother, use your voice"
Being disabled has given me a lot resilience. When you are put in a world that doesn't work for you, you become much more adaptable.
Claudia could definitely manage a wall stand
Missed ya'll, from Lafayette, LA.
I've been in the process of embracing my disabilities and realizing that they've made me a better, more empathetic, well rounded person. And even though, I still get frustrated that I can't do things like other people can - I feel better about myself and like I have things to offer. Even though, I always wanted to be a mother... I used to think a child would be unhappy with me as their mother and only focused on what I couldn't offer instead of what I can. Thank you for making this video, Jessica and Claudia. It reaffirms so much and is really encouraging.
The biggest issue I (42) have being disabled around my grandson (1) is that he finds my crutches fascinating!! One usually ends up on the floor for him to examine!! Lol!! xx
Oh, if anyone isn't aware of it, one can induce breastmilk without needing to be pregnant. This also includes trans women.
Cis men too i believe
But also you can't breastfeed with some kinds of medication
I just discovered your channel. I absolutely love your style and the educational videos you share. You and your wife are so cute together! And some of your disabilities are similar to mine. Definitely subbing to you! You two keep doing you and congratulations on your little guy!
I'm a deaf parent, with twins born a month after Rupert! I've loved following you guys :)
You two are the best mommies! 🥰🥰🥰🥰
I really enjoyed this video. I’m not sure yet if I wanna have kids one day but as a young woman with a disability it’s always nice finding content like this where people highlight the ways in which adapting to disability can be beneficial in adapting and advancing abilities to be successful at things like parenting
It's so lovely to listen to you. I am an able, heterosexual parent of a baby just two months younger than Rupert and often find it challenging. Your perspective is so helpful, refreshing and humbling. There's a lot to take away. Thank you!
Yup, everything in this video is why it's so much easier, and so fascinating and *fun*, to parent while disabled with young kids. Unfortunately once they get more independent ~7yo it starts getting worse in many ways. Toddlers love helping, teens hold grudges & if you think it's hard explaining to friends why you can't do what you did yesterday try it with an angry 12yo!
i don’t understand, wouldn’t the kid already know why because you’ve been open and explained it to them their entire life?
@@gothboiclique.mp3 you'd think so 😆 chronic health problems tend to fluctuate and get worse with time. When my eldest was born I could still work full time for up to 9mo at a time and my down periods were just a month or so. 17yrs later my normal looks like my down periods and the bad spots can last over a year. We're still trying to find a way to get me stable enough we can start to adapt from a severe downturn over a year ago that hasn't ended but it's clear my new normal is much lower in spoons. Right now I'm getting 3 a day and that's not enough to care for myself but there's not suddenly a 3rd adult who can step in and help.
@@aprildawnsunshine4326 i know they fluctuate and worsen, i’ve had several for a decade. i just feel like i can’t imagine that being the case for the vast majority of kids. it wasn’t for me, my four siblings, or my two cousins. if things change do you not update them as they need to know? could you not simply explain to them that it may get worse? obvi it may still upset them but i can’t imagine kids deliberately being difficult about it and straight up refusing to help their own ill parent when needed unless the relationship is terrible or the kid is indiscriminately kind of callous and unsympathetic.
edit to add: also, even though chronic health problems tend to get worse and/or fluctuate, that doesn’t at all mean that those ages you listed are going to go the way you’ve described for her or the people in the comments.
"he won't stand on his legs, but can he stand on his arms?" 🤣🤣🤣
I love how your worries and concerns are the same as every new parent in the history of humanity. Seriously, we all have different struggles at different levels, but the constant worry over our children feels universal. I have depression, and explaining to my children why I can and cannot do things with them has made them more resilient and able to express their own feelings openly. I'm not great at a lot of things, but talking frankly to my children is something I feel like I'm good at.
me: how is this newborn baby holding a spoon??
*Looks back at all the videos and realized Rupert is actually something like7 months old*: is this what aging is??
I have some eaaarly memories as a baby
& I was not patient. I often felt trapped and that I should be able to explore the world without limits
*in reference to Claudia saying babies are patient 😆
Though Rupert may be!! :)
Lovely episode! such an insightful detail about signing with the baby as well. would you say Rupert's first language is actually sign language?
I just found you and I am so happy. You had me at vintage…💖💖
I love seeing you two together, you’re such interesting contrasts to each other which creates a great chemistry 😀
Seriously turn on notifications for this channel! It stopped showing up for me until I turned on notifications
I was expecting you to say that between more patience and deafness, you were the expert at dealing with him when he's cranky and crying!
I too am a handicapable parent. About time people realized all things, all people can sometimes see the positives first.
Jessica isn’t “handicapable”, she literally made an entire video on why she self identifies as disabled
You two are so beautiful together ❤️ you make me smile! Both amazing mothers xx 😘
Both of you are so cute! You must hear this a lot, but I really wanted to say it :D
Both my parents had cerebral palsy and were great parents! Such a lovely video 💖
Rupert trying to sign for milk made me giggle.
One of my co-workers streams music through her hearing aids when she is not using them for hearing the stuff around her. Her phone has an app as well that she can use to change settings and modes, as well as, locate her hearing aids within a certain radius if she took them out and cannot remember where she put them.
The fact that baby boy is asking for more brocoli..Go Rupert!
This was an informative, helpful post for those facing similar issues and for the rest of us to be aware of. Knowledge is power.
My cat also loves when I lie down on the floor next to her
Yay, Claudia is back!
And you two are so lovely together how you play to each other's strengths.