I can so relate to Andrea the first caller about giving parents money. Lived that for 52 years. Bailed my parents out so many times. My parents make plenty ($4k a month retired since 1995), just stupid with money. I stopped the enabling 3 years ago. I am the black sheep now. My 3 siblings keep bailing them out, and no longer speak to me. My parents are 89 years old each. I said I will help by doing a budget for them and managing their money. My dad refuses. So I separated myself from it all. Sick dysfunctional family with history of alcoholism. I am breaking the cycle. No is a complete sentence. Now I am teaching my kids good money management. My gift to them.
@@sameasnone 3 years. They still try though. I tell my 3 siblings are more than happy to help and get praise. This money mismanagement has created a horrible dysfunction in our family. So sad. But I sought peace
Grace, I am so inspired by your words. Good for you for stepping up and keeping strong boundaries. It can be so challenging especially when you are being excluded from your family but it can be a peaceful blessing as well. I see so much enabling in my extended family that it is disgusting and it hinders them from taking care of themselves. I too have chosen to change the family tree and give to my children than be a burden to them. I am cheering you on for your bravery and strength. 🤗🤗🤗
It's recommended to save at least 15% of your income in a 401k. You can use online calculators to estimate how much you should save based on your age and income. Saving at least 15% of your income in a 401(k) can help ensure that you have enough money to retire comfortably. By saving this much, you can take advantage of compound interest and potentially grow your retirement savings over time.
For me, I believe retirees who struggle to meet their basic needs are the ones who could not accumulate enough money during their active years to meet their needs. Retirement choices determine a lot of things. My wife and I both spent same number of years in the civil service, she invested through a wealth manager and myself through the 401k. We both still earning after our retirement.
It's unfortunate most people don't have such information. I don't really blame people who panic. Lack of information can be a big hurdle. I've been making more than $875k by just investing through an advisor, and I don't have to do much work. Doesn't matter if the economy is misbehaving; great wealth managers will always make returns.
Interesting. I think this is something I should do, but I've been stalling for a long time now. I don't really know which firm to work with; I feel they are all the same but it seems you’ve got it all worked out with the firm you work with so i surely wouldn’t mind a recommendation.
My advisor is BECKY LOU GORDON , a renowned figure in her line of work. I recommend researching her credentials further. She has many years of experience and is a valuable resource for anyone looking to navigate the financial market
She has the appearance of being a great authority in her profession. I looked her up online and found her website, which I reviewed and went through to learn more about her credentials, academic background, and employment. She has a fiduciary duty to protect my best interests. I sent her an email outlining my objectives and also booked a session with her; thanks for sharing.
Re: Paul- There is indeed domestic violence on men. Men don't speak about it because they think they'll be viewed as lesser men. Paul is very brave to share his story, and his therapist is awesome!!!!
I'm glad Dave said what he said to her about making financial mistakes. If you find an excuse, you found your reason to do stupid. Cut throat, But man I love an honest human being because he really wants you to do better.
Congratulations PAUL!!!! You are AMAZING!!!!! I cried at the very end after his scream...well done sir! You are brave, you are strong and you are DEBT FREEEE!!!!!!
Delony!!! Stop shuffling your papers already! 😂😂😂 Love your show John! You’ve helped me so much, and led me to Dave Ramsey. My life has been changing in lots of great ways. And having you both together in segments is just the best. Thank you!!
Thank you Dave Ramsey for defending the young hard working adults🥺👏🏽. Literally on the media we've been hearing boomers bashing younger generations. "You can't afford a house because of the avocado toast you keep buying"😂😂 etc.. etc.. There are hard workers out there, kudos to him imagine that freedom of entering your 30's with no mortgage. Being debt free is really nice a freedom like no other.
I'm a boomer. Neither I nor any of my peer group has ever said anything like this! In fact, many of us are providing financial aid to our adult children and grandchildren - and then there's a bunch of people who berate us for enabling them! Life hasn't been a bowl of seedless cherries for most boomers. We worked and we sacrificed, and we paid for school for our kids to try help them get ahead. Boomers are just the knee jerk scapegoat for far too many younger people.
I have major significant adhd, and bipolar disorder, my wife yells at me a lot because it’s hard for me to keep my room orderly. Etc. breaks my spirit. She’s a Christian. Makes me not want to anymore. She’s Russian with a fist in the air. But I was managed to do baby step one couple days ago. I had an sudden issue w my dog that required surgery. I’m 400 down but plan to get it back up as soon as I can sell things that got me into debt. Not once but 3 times. All the while watching Dave Ramsey. Mental illness is real. Broke my heart today telling constant earlier today went from house to car. Motioning her arms and hands making me look like a fool. All the while yelling at me.
I believe you should look out for your parents but not go into debt for them. We as children didn’t choose to be here. I would never want my kids to have to take care of me financially if I chose to make bad choices 😢
Hey I’m on baby step 2 and I owe 19,000. Working hard to bring it down to 0 in 12 months. Cut up all credit cards. Very stressful knowing bank charges me 135.00 a month. Very stressful doing a budget.
Zeck has to get on a budget. If he follows his budget, he’s not going to miss payments and he’s not gonna get a rash on his belly from the steering wheel rubbing on it because he’s impulsively buying Little Debbie snacks.
I would say it depends on your relationship with your boss. My immediate supervisor knows that the reason I'm working the job is because I love kids, plus my husband and I are trying to pay off our house within 5 years. (I was a stay at home mom before my kids all went to school and I went back to work.) When we reach our goal, I'll definitely let him know. :) He will celebrate with us.
On the first call I wonder if the answer would be different if the parents had a good reason for no retirement savings. For example let’s say they escaped North Korea late in life. Would the children then be obligated to help with retirement?
Sometimes Delony tries to make things relate so much to his experience and personal stories that he doesn't address the actual question. Like Zeck without a wife who has trouble remember when bills are due needs a strategy for that. It isn't helpful to tell him you gave your wife your credit card for a season. He needs tactics for his life, not unrelated personal anecdotes.
@brandi-lynnmarie6914 @brandi-lynnmarie6914 Zeck already saw the problem, which is why he called into the show. Delony doesn't need to tell the same 5 stories listeners have already heard to drive home the point, when Zech already sees the problem and was asking for practical strategies to help. Delony didn't suggest any actual useful strategies that would work for Zech. He only talked about a strategy that worked for himself. It's not useful in that situation.
9yr old: mama what are you listening to? Why is he calling people stupid? Me: Dave Ramsey…lol. Because he’s trying to help us stop doing stupid things with our money 😂
I think they missed the point the lady in the befit was making. She’s saying when her parents die her n her siblings would be responsible for the funeral services etc. Instead they took it as going into debt to help them thru the current situation
ive got 2 millennial daughers one is crushing it at 80k a year the other is crushing it giving me grandkids but not making a lot of money. i cherish them both.
1st call: I’m a firm believer in taking care of parents but their attitude about the whole thing is what would upset me. They aren’t even trying to help HER plan for THEM
This is a little tricky for me. Your parents help you so much throughout life and if the caller has to be bailed out I’m sure her parents would have helped, so why is Dave advising to not help with $100/month??
It's not hard for me and I am both a father and a son. I will not financially bail you out of a bad situation of your own making. What I will do is help you, help yourself. Fyi... I had (past tense) a brother that was a mess in every sense of the word for most of his life. He had some good years but on balance I'd say those good years were less than the "mess" years. My Dad bailed him out all his life. My brother died of an OD is his 40s. --- I make no apologies for this, for me it is about tough love!! I will help anyone who FIRST helps themselves!!
If you have a leaking pipe in your home do you a) leave it alone & just pay the higher water bill every month or b) fix the leak? Same concept for the parents. Paying $100/month DOESN'T solve the problem. It just drags it out and allows it to potentially build into something larger.
Wow, the caller that bought the home to get her disabled kid in a good school district then got a 100k HELOC to fix the house. Like there are not cheaper older homes in that school district or other school districts that can cater to kids with disabilities. So many parents that use school districts to buy a nice home then complain about financial distress. Kids going to certain school districts or colleges doesn't guarantee financial success in the future.
The call with the guy that makes $80K and has $1.2 million in real estate debt was baffling to me. Yes, he has a paid for $950K house, but the guy only makes $80K! I am really surprised Dave didn't rip into this guy for buying a house he won't be able to maintain on his salary or for having a bunch of real estate he can't afford. That may be the biggest head scratching advice I've ever heard him give.
Hey..listening to the young callers,(not necessarily thus show but most of them) I'm asking what types of jobs they have with yearly income 70k or more, so I can major in their field of work..can I get that list 😊
I’m an equipment operator for a private company living in a house I bought 6 years ago for $150,000, and will make $120,000 this year. Dropped out of high school, tried college for a semester but just started working after that
Why don’t they. Rent the house and keep both properties and pay off the debt with the income, then the daughter has a early start to financial independence as a potential home owner 😅 or Atleast somewhere else to go incase she doesn’t want to live with her parents anymore
this one hit me hard as i have a lot of cash thanks to the heads up of my wife, rest in peace, who had a great life insurance policy. im like john, im burying it in my backyard so now i need to get it invested.
I found a Ramsey trusted advisor seven years ago. Best thing I ever did. Everything was explained, and I have prospered. If you don't want to invest the entire amount, you don't have to, but with inflation, you're actually losing money even if it's earning a little in a savings account. Like Dave says, you have to understand what you're buying and frankly, now is a good time to start because as he said, everything's on sale.
@@brookelondon8029 I literally just set up an appointment with a smartvestor for next week to start investing! I had talked to a few before just never pulled the trigger. Now the triggers been pulled and funnily enough it happens to be one that got a shoutout in a Nov episode I didn’t see til I actually started taking to the pros. It was meant to be ha ha
We tried it with two - one to see my father-in-law's house and one for tax advice. Both were disasters and we didn't engage either one. We sold the house for more than $30,000 higher than what the expert told us we'd get for a house that "will never sell in this condition unless your paint and stage" and the financial advisor wanted almost $1,000 just to walk in the door to help us solve one simple question (how much tax to have withheld so we would not have to pay as we have several streams of income.) I found the IRS calculator for withholding online for free!@@brookelondon8029
It’s crazy in this world they don’t have a clue in this life we lose money and don’t never make a difference in this place and people give up like wow it’s crazy
Why do they assume the waitress is struggling just cause she’s a waitress? I have friends who don’t need to work and aren’t struggling that waitress and they love it.
Hello, can anyone here tell me if the book mentioned is "Scattered" or "Scattered Minds"? I need to know which is the one for helping my husband. I see both titles when I Google and want to be sure. He was diagnosed last year and now seeing a very helpful therapist. He will not be insulted if I get this book for him. It's taken almost 37 years of marriage and lots of patience on my part but he is seeing how to slowly help himself improve.... baby steps. Hey, I have my own faults as well and as we say in our house.... Pobody's Nerfect! LOL!!
Okay, wait, it doesn't mean those kids have to take care of those parents, but ... the moms mental health problen can be bad enough that she is "making bad decisions" rather than "refusing."
Re: the ADD guy? I have a dozen bank accounts in two different banks/credit unions, and hide my money based on what needs to be paid from each of them so I don't spend the rent or utilities on something stupid.
The first caller said her father removed his wife from his health insurance, knowing that she has mental health problems. Now he's trying to shove his responsibility onto his children!
On the third call he has to sell the family Grandfathers house because he took on a Bianca who contributes no income, has family responsibilities and a previous child. He will have to sell the house because she does not help financially.
If her parents did not save it’s on her parents; her parents will just have to go on Medicare and eventually Medicaid. If he’s working they will have SS. Her parents are grownup. They are in their 60s. They can still work!
The first caller with the parents and the medical issues. First of all the husband should’ve obtained medical proxy and medical power of attorney, and he did not. He’s putting that responsibility on his children and that is not fair and it is irresponsible on his part. For the other siblings, to be guilting this woman into making contributions to a cause That her mother is unwilling to participate in is emotional blackmail! I really get frustrated when I hear stories like this, and what family members do to other members. I agree with Dave and even before I watched this program I would not do it. The spouse had ample time to assume responsibility for his wife, and if she is medically incompetent he should’ve taken care of that legally. He didn’t want to deal with it so he’s putting it off on his kids….. wrong! And I know that that woman the caller is going to feel guilty, but she has nothing to feel guilty about. Those are decisions that they made, and now as my father used to say often, the chickens have come home to roost and they’re not gonna roost in my henhouse lol no way! And the sort of money that they think is going to help their mother like Dave said 10 minutes in the hospital room & that money is gone. I lost my husband to a catastrophic disease so I’ve seen $30,000 lab bills and $50,000 infusion center bills not to mention $1.5 million for the hospital stays over the 2 years he was ill. I’ve seen those big bills so what these people think they can accomplish by contributing a few hundred bucks a month ….well they’re living in a fantasy world!
The husband has automatic medical power of attorney. The parents likely have equity in their home/ cars, but if there are no large bank accounts to keep an estate afloat and bury parents while waiting to sell the assets, the home and cars can be lost to foreclosure and repossession. If there are 6 adult children each depositing $100 a month, in one year they would save over 7k. So it would only take 3-4 years to have the nest egg needed.
Agreed - he was out of line and owes that gal an apology off air. If nothing else, that was un-Christian. He knows better. Sometimes we all need a correction - even Mr. Ramsey
What is so wrong with the children of the not prepared elderly parents. Starting a sinking fund for the plight of there parents needs as they age? We do it for an up coming baby and their college. Why not our parents???when I am on bbstep 7 my charity first will be my family wo enabling.
I have to ask, is having bills direct debited out of your account in the US just not a thing? Or is it one of those Freedumb things you all have? These days, there really is no excuse for not having your bills automatically deducted when due. There really is no excuse for not at least having one extra bank account where you normalise out all the bills over the year and you have money automatically moved by the bank on a schedule when your pay or social security goes in so that money isn't attached to your spending account so then you have the money to pay your bills. I've never been in the position even when on Centrelink (welfare in Australia), that my bills weren't paid, and weren't accounted for. After being med discharged from the RAAF, I'm on a military pension effectively for the rest of my life. I have a family, with kids, and there is no way that bills aren't accounted for as the most immediate thing. Mortgage, rates, power, and water first. It's all managed in one account now but I use an app that tracks it all and I can plan for years in advance if necessary. The app is backed up by the planning spreadsheet in Excel that dictates what can be spent after the bills and how. Everything is allocated. Something serious has failed in the raising of children these days and the last 30 yrs where people go out in the world and think a credit card is okay, and don't see them as the poisonous rot that they are. Debit cards, and direct debit people. Stop living beyond your means. It really isn't that hard for those that have some sort of income.
Honestly daves content is great for people that take very poor decisions. But sometimes I must disagree- like his approach to real estate rentals. I get that cash and no debt is great - but for most people its a tough time even paying off their primary residence. Just do your due dilligence first - have someone look over the inspection report with you, look at your math, etc. This guy is good at creating habits. People also need to live, there’s more to life then rushing to pay off your mortgage. Life is short and can be cruel
Who allows their parents to just die of poverty? For most of human history and for the majority of the world, helping parents is a given. I don’t understand this advice. The parents are aging.
He is not telling them to abandon the parents. The PARENTS were approached, and Dad essentially dumped the whole thing on the kids, said it was up to them to make their mom, with her mental issues, use insurance. You can't help people who don't want help. The second feature is that ONE sibling demanded a set amount of money PER SIBLING put in an account. It's not up to the sibling to set the amount each sibling can contribute, particularly when Dad more or less doesn't want the help the caller offered. I don't think you really listened carefully to the entire call. He said the caller needed to take care of her own family first, the decide with her husband how best to help her parents, if they needed help, and would accept the help offered. Nobody is obligated to give parents who are feckless a regular cash contribution.
I think you don’t have a clue about having a child with special needs or what it takes to get them the help they need. So I think he was really rude and out of place in this instance.
Everyone has a moral and ethical obligation to have a PLAN for what happens when THEY reach that age. If the parent has spent their lifetime preparing, then it's less of a burden on the child and is actually manageable. The parent has had 50 years of adulthood to prepare for this day.
@@seanjean9677 if that’s your logic then idc how Dave feels or you as well. Every child has a moral and ethical obligation. Crazy that your parents took care of you as a kid just for you to feel that way 🤦🏽♂️ whether they were poor or rich spoil brat
Dave is too cold sometimes with kids repaying a bit of financial support to parents. I disagree with Dave here, with what little info he has to react like this. My mom passed away when I was a little child, but I would do anything for my Mom.
Repaying a bit of financial support? That’s the problem with the parents (at least in my case), they think they’re OWED support because they raised the kids. Seems to me THEY were the ones that decided to have kids and with that comes the responsibility of their care.
@localreviewer5939 you are basing your reaction on a mythical mother you didn't know, not a real person. For all you know, your mother would have been able to take care of herself. You don't know. She unfortunately died. The parents in this scenario, and the one sibling, are what Dave calls travel agents for guilt trips. They want to remain feckless (love that word!), while depending on their kids for support. That's wrong. And for the record, I'm female. This RUclips ID is in honor of my dad- who did not expect his kids to pay his way, simply because he raised them.
Had to turn this off! We all do stuff for our family that might be mistakes but Dave should not have come at the woman with the special needs child. He has no idea what the Limits are or anything about this family! Shameful! I’ve heard some really bad things about this dude and starting to believe them!
Stop it. Stop trying to look for an excuse to be in debt. Listen clear to the caller, and you will agree 100% with Dave's . People are always looking to blame someone for their bad behavior.
I can so relate to Andrea the first caller about giving parents money. Lived that for 52 years. Bailed my parents out so many times. My parents make plenty ($4k a month retired since 1995), just stupid with money. I stopped the enabling 3 years ago. I am the black sheep now. My 3 siblings keep bailing them out, and no longer speak to me. My parents are 89 years old each. I said I will help by doing a budget for them and managing their money. My dad refuses. So I separated myself from it all. Sick dysfunctional family with history of alcoholism. I am breaking the cycle. No is a complete sentence. Now I am teaching my kids good money management. My gift to them.
How long has it been since you quit giving them money?
@@sameasnone 3 years. They still try though. I tell my 3 siblings are more than happy to help and get praise. This money mismanagement has created a horrible dysfunction in our family. So sad. But I sought peace
I'm proud of you. The right thing to do isn't always the easiest!!
@@YessiRod so true. Thank you. But the chains of dysfunction I released. Never an easy path.
Grace, I am so inspired by your words. Good for you for stepping up and keeping strong boundaries. It can be so challenging especially when you are being excluded from your family but it can be a peaceful blessing as well. I see so much enabling in my extended family that it is disgusting and it hinders them from taking care of themselves. I too have chosen to change the family tree and give to my children than be a burden to them. I am cheering you on for your bravery and strength. 🤗🤗🤗
It's recommended to save at least 15% of your income in a 401k. You can use online calculators to estimate how much you should save based on your age and income. Saving at least 15% of your income in a 401(k) can help ensure that you have enough money to retire comfortably. By saving this much, you can take advantage of compound interest and potentially grow your retirement savings over time.
For me, I believe retirees who struggle to meet their basic needs are the ones who could not accumulate enough money during their active years to meet their needs. Retirement choices determine a lot of things. My wife and I both spent same number of years in the civil service, she invested through a wealth manager and myself through the 401k. We both still earning after our retirement.
It's unfortunate most people don't have such information. I don't really blame people who panic. Lack of information can be a big hurdle. I've been making more than $875k by just investing through an advisor, and I don't have to do much work. Doesn't matter if the economy is misbehaving; great wealth managers will always make returns.
Interesting. I think this is something I should do, but I've been stalling for a long time now. I don't really know which firm to work with; I feel they are all the same but it seems you’ve got it all worked out with the firm you work with so i surely wouldn’t mind a recommendation.
My advisor is BECKY LOU GORDON , a renowned figure in her line of work. I recommend researching her credentials further. She has many years of experience and is a valuable resource for anyone looking to navigate the financial market
She has the appearance of being a great authority in her profession. I looked her up online and found her website, which I reviewed and went through to learn more about her credentials, academic background, and employment. She has a fiduciary duty to protect my best interests. I sent her an email outlining my objectives and also booked a session with her; thanks for sharing.
Re: Paul- There is indeed domestic violence on men. Men don't speak about it because they think they'll be viewed as lesser men. Paul is very brave to share his story, and his therapist is awesome!!!!
I love how Dave calls it!!! Don’t blame bad decisions on a “special needs” daughter!
❤Agreed ❤😊
LOVE, LOVE and RESPECT MR. RAMSEY FOR ADVOCATING FOR NATALIA!
I'm a truck driver also. Instacart delivers to many or most truck stops and I use it to get healthy food and keep my truck stocked with good food
I'm glad Dave said what he said to her about making financial mistakes. If you find an excuse, you found your reason to do stupid. Cut throat, But man I love an honest human being because he really wants you to do better.
He doesn’t even say that rude , but like a dad or big brother! God bless Dave Ramsey foreal 🙏🏽
I'm just glad someone is willing to say the truth. Our society now is built on excuses and what ifs.
Congratulations PAUL!!!! You are AMAZING!!!!! I cried at the very end after his scream...well done sir! You are brave, you are strong and you are DEBT FREEEE!!!!!!
That moment at the end of Paul's debt-free scream, when he just doubled over in relief and emotion - that got me in all my feelings. Way to go Paul!
Yes that was really beautiful 😊
Sometimes tough love is what you need. You can love your family without letting them manipulate you. I’m learning that now.
Delony!!! Stop shuffling your papers already! 😂😂😂
Love your show John! You’ve helped me so much, and led me to Dave Ramsey. My life has been changing in lots of great ways. And having you both together in segments is just the best. Thank you!!
Thank you Dave Ramsey for defending the young hard working adults🥺👏🏽. Literally on the media we've been hearing boomers bashing younger generations. "You can't afford a house because of the avocado toast you keep buying"😂😂 etc.. etc..
There are hard workers out there, kudos to him imagine that freedom of entering your 30's with no mortgage. Being debt free is really nice a freedom like no other.
I'm a boomer. Neither I nor any of my peer group has ever said anything like this! In fact, many of us are providing financial aid to our adult children and grandchildren - and then there's a bunch of people who berate us for enabling them!
Life hasn't been a bowl of seedless cherries for most boomers. We worked and we sacrificed, and we paid for school for our kids to try help them get ahead.
Boomers are just the knee jerk scapegoat for far too many younger people.
Paul has such an amazing story... and such a brave and compassionate man!!!
Keep chasing the dream buddy. Don’t wake up one day and have regrets. You got this
Paul with the debt free story - If he can do it with what he's been through, no listener should have an excuse to not be able to be debt free.
Why yes, I do listen to debt free screams for motivation! Even after baby step 2. This one had me almost in tears.
Never forget that men can be the receivers of abuse... physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially... and don't be a victim... be a VICTOR!
I have major significant adhd, and bipolar disorder, my wife yells at me a lot because it’s hard for me to keep my room orderly. Etc. breaks my spirit. She’s a Christian. Makes me not want to anymore. She’s Russian with a fist in the air. But I was managed to do baby step one couple days ago. I had an sudden issue w my dog that required surgery. I’m 400 down but plan to get it back up as soon as I can sell things that got me into debt. Not once but 3 times. All the while watching Dave Ramsey. Mental illness is real. Broke my heart today telling constant earlier today went from house to car. Motioning her arms and hands making me look like a fool. All the while yelling at me.
Each time I see “Baby steps millionaire book” I get motivated and inspired more to get out of debt and start to become millionaire!!! Whoaooooa!!!
I believe you should look out for your parents but not go into debt for them. We as children didn’t choose to be here. I would never want my kids to have to take care of me financially if I chose to make bad choices 😢
Same here! I'm too busy changing my family tree.🌳 ❤❤❤
I loved Paul's story and debt free scream! ♥♥♥
I love hearing y’all host together. What a great dynamic!
Go Paul from NJ!!! I wish I could find a good therapist.
Paul is debt free but also free in other great ways 🎉
Love the musician answer. Beautifully spoken.
Hey I’m on baby step 2 and I owe 19,000. Working hard to bring it down to 0 in 12 months. Cut up all credit cards. Very stressful knowing bank charges me 135.00 a month. Very stressful doing a budget.
Zeck has to get on a budget. If he follows his budget, he’s not going to miss payments and he’s not gonna get a rash on his belly from the steering wheel rubbing on it because he’s impulsively buying Little Debbie snacks.
Cracked sidewalk everyone in our neighborhood would redo it ourselves. Didn’t cost hardly anything. The husband doesn’t sound to handy.
"I'm not doing chores for you when you're dead." I love it LOL!
Should I tell boss I’m debt free? Your boss doesn’t need to know that. Lol
I would say it depends on your relationship with your boss. My immediate supervisor knows that the reason I'm working the job is because I love kids, plus my husband and I are trying to pay off our house within 5 years. (I was a stay at home mom before my kids all went to school and I went back to work.) When we reach our goal, I'll definitely let him know. :) He will celebrate with us.
On the first call I wonder if the answer would be different if the parents had a good reason for no retirement savings. For example let’s say they escaped North Korea late in life. Would the children then be obligated to help with retirement?
Sometimes Delony tries to make things relate so much to his experience and personal stories that he doesn't address the actual question. Like Zeck without a wife who has trouble remember when bills are due needs a strategy for that. It isn't helpful to tell him you gave your wife your credit card for a season. He needs tactics for his life, not unrelated personal anecdotes.
@brandi-lynnmarie6914 @brandi-lynnmarie6914 Zeck already saw the problem, which is why he called into the show. Delony doesn't need to tell the same 5 stories listeners have already heard to drive home the point, when Zech already sees the problem and was asking for practical strategies to help. Delony didn't suggest any actual useful strategies that would work for Zech. He only talked about a strategy that worked for himself. It's not useful in that situation.
A tax refund is an interest free loan you’re provided to the govt.
9yr old: mama what are you listening to? Why is he calling people stupid?
Me: Dave Ramsey…lol. Because he’s trying to help us stop doing stupid things with our money 😂
Dave Ramsey for US President 2024 🇺🇸
Awe!! I'm so proud of this guy.
I think they missed the point the lady in the befit was making. She’s saying when her parents die her n her siblings would be responsible for the funeral services etc. Instead they took it as going into debt to help them thru the current situation
ive got 2 millennial daughers one is crushing it at 80k a year the other is crushing it giving me grandkids but not making a lot of money. i cherish them both.
Love it!!!
I spent my whole life,being sensible. I can not even imagine going to my children for money. But if I ever need help they will be all over it.
1st call: I’m a firm believer in taking care of parents but their attitude about the whole thing is what would upset me. They aren’t even trying to help HER plan for THEM
Congratulations Paul 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
I have a charity fund for family and friends. I only give what's in the fund. If it is empty, I can't do it.
This is a little tricky for me. Your parents help you so much throughout life and if the caller has to be bailed out I’m sure her parents would have helped, so why is Dave advising to not help with $100/month??
It's not hard for me and I am both a father and a son. I will not financially bail you out of a bad situation of your own making. What I will do is help you, help yourself.
Fyi... I had (past tense) a brother that was a mess in every sense of the word for most of his life. He had some good years but on balance I'd say those good years were less than the "mess" years. My Dad bailed him out all his life. My brother died of an OD is his 40s. --- I make no apologies for this, for me it is about tough love!! I will help anyone who FIRST helps themselves!!
If you have a leaking pipe in your home do you a) leave it alone & just pay the higher water bill every month or b) fix the leak? Same concept for the parents. Paying $100/month DOESN'T solve the problem. It just drags it out and allows it to potentially build into something larger.
This is Big Time enabling. If they don't want to be money educated, the best is to to keep your own family in tact.
Aww Paul You Legend, you are so awesome and an inspiration!
Prayers for Paul 💚 keep moving forward, brother!
Wow, the caller that bought the home to get her disabled kid in a good school district then got a 100k HELOC to fix the house. Like there are not cheaper older homes in that school district or other school districts that can cater to kids with disabilities. So many parents that use school districts to buy a nice home then complain about financial distress. Kids going to certain school districts or colleges doesn't guarantee financial success in the future.
Sounds suspect. Who is granting mortgages for 6 properties to someone with an $80k income?
I’m with John, a million dollar home has a lot of upkeep or you will let it slowly go down. We know.
The call with the guy that makes $80K and has $1.2 million in real estate debt was baffling to me. Yes, he has a paid for $950K house, but the guy only makes $80K! I am really surprised Dave didn't rip into this guy for buying a house he won't be able to maintain on his salary or for having a bunch of real estate he can't afford. That may be the biggest head scratching advice I've ever heard him give.
73 is not old anymore.
Hey..listening to the young callers,(not necessarily thus show but most of them) I'm asking what types of jobs they have with yearly income 70k or more, so I can major in their field of work..can I get that list 😊
I’m an equipment operator for a private company living in a house I bought 6 years ago for $150,000, and will make $120,000 this year. Dropped out of high school, tried college for a semester but just started working after that
Registered Nurse
Mechanical Engineer
I'm 27 I make 75k per year and I work at a laborer for my hometown. Specifically the department of public works.
Finance degree, work with insurance claims. $165k a year.
@@Treehandler you did it right. Great pay without the huge student loan debt.
Why don’t they. Rent the house and keep both properties and pay off the debt with the income, then the daughter has a early start to financial independence as a potential home owner 😅 or Atleast somewhere else to go incase she doesn’t want to live with her parents anymore
At least the daughter didnt follow in dad and moms foot steps but the stress is real with the concerns
this one hit me hard as i have a lot of cash thanks to the heads up of my wife, rest in peace, who had a great life insurance policy. im like john, im burying it in my backyard so now i need to get it invested.
I found a Ramsey trusted advisor seven years ago. Best thing I ever did. Everything was explained, and I have prospered. If you don't want to invest the entire amount, you don't have to, but with inflation, you're actually losing money even if it's earning a little in a savings account. Like Dave says, you have to understand what you're buying and frankly, now is a good time to start because as he said, everything's on sale.
@@brookelondon8029 I literally just set up an appointment with a smartvestor for next week to start investing! I had talked to a few before just never pulled the trigger. Now the triggers been pulled and funnily enough it happens to be one that got a shoutout in a Nov episode I didn’t see til I actually started taking to the pros. It was meant to be ha ha
I just saw your reply and I am so happy you did that! And I found that the more I knew, the calmer I felt and you will too. Best of luck to you!
@@brookelondon8029 thank you!
We tried it with two - one to see my father-in-law's house and one for tax advice. Both were disasters and we didn't engage either one. We sold the house for more than $30,000 higher than what the expert told us we'd get for a house that "will never sell in this condition unless your paint and stage" and the financial advisor wanted almost $1,000 just to walk in the door to help us solve one simple question (how much tax to have withheld so we would not have to pay as we have several streams of income.) I found the IRS calculator for withholding online for free!@@brookelondon8029
It’s crazy in this world they don’t have a clue in this life we lose money and don’t never make a difference in this place and people give up like wow it’s crazy
best scream congrats man
25:41 hit the nail on the head
Love this episode. John is a funny guy!
Why do they assume the waitress is struggling just cause she’s a waitress? I have friends who don’t need to work and aren’t struggling that waitress and they love it.
Thanks!
Hello, can anyone here tell me if the book mentioned is "Scattered" or "Scattered Minds"? I need to know which is the one for helping my husband. I see both titles when I Google and want to be sure. He was diagnosed last year and now seeing a very helpful therapist. He will not be insulted if I get this book for him. It's taken almost 37 years of marriage and lots of patience on my part but he is seeing how to slowly help himself improve.... baby steps. Hey, I have my own faults as well and as we say in our house.... Pobody's Nerfect! LOL!!
It's Scattered Minds by Gabor Mate.
At what point should you have 3 to 6 months' emergency fund??
Go to the website. I'm sure the baby steps are there. I think it comes after paying off all debt except a mortgage.
Damn this hits home.. first caller
Okay, wait, it doesn't mean those kids have to take care of those parents, but ... the moms mental health problen can be bad enough that she is "making bad decisions" rather than "refusing."
This was incredible. Thanks for sharing!
Re: the ADD guy? I have a dozen bank accounts in two different banks/credit unions, and hide my money based on what needs to be paid from each of them so I don't spend the rent or utilities on something stupid.
I’m dealing with this right now
The first caller said her father removed his wife from his health insurance, knowing that she has mental health problems. Now he's trying to shove his responsibility onto
his children!
I can't relate to the first caller -*- parents can be the worst with the guilt trip :/
On the third call he has to sell the family Grandfathers house because he took on a Bianca who contributes no income, has family responsibilities and a previous child. He will have to sell the house because she does not help financially.
You have a Solar sales ad??😮
Literally supporting mental illnesses Ramsey I love you
If her parents did not save it’s on her parents; her parents will just have to go on Medicare and eventually Medicaid. If he’s working they will have SS. Her parents are grownup. They are in their 60s. They can still work!
The first caller with the parents and the medical issues. First of all the husband should’ve obtained medical proxy and medical power of attorney, and he did not. He’s putting that responsibility on his children and that is not fair and it is irresponsible on his part. For the other siblings, to be guilting this woman into making contributions to a cause That her mother is unwilling to participate in is emotional blackmail! I really get frustrated when I hear stories like this, and what family members do to other members. I agree with Dave and even before I watched this program I would not do it. The spouse had ample time to assume responsibility for his wife, and if she is medically incompetent he should’ve taken care of that legally. He didn’t want to deal with it so he’s putting it off on his kids….. wrong! And I know that that woman the caller is going to feel guilty, but she has nothing to feel guilty about. Those are decisions that they made, and now as my father used to say often, the chickens have come home to roost and they’re not gonna roost in my henhouse lol no way! And the sort of money that they think is going to help their mother like Dave said 10 minutes in the hospital room & that money is gone. I lost my husband to a catastrophic disease so I’ve seen $30,000 lab bills and $50,000 infusion center bills not to mention $1.5 million for the hospital stays over the 2 years he was ill. I’ve seen those big bills so what these people think they can accomplish by contributing a few hundred bucks a month ….well they’re living in a fantasy world!
The husband has automatic medical power of attorney. The parents likely have equity in their home/ cars, but if there are no large bank accounts to keep an estate afloat and bury parents while waiting to sell the assets, the home and cars can be lost to foreclosure and repossession. If there are 6 adult children each depositing $100 a month, in one year they would save over 7k. So it would only take 3-4 years to have the nest egg needed.
Who is TikTok famous Jonathan?? Anyone find him!?
I was wondering, too
Dave you sometimes super mean.
I A you sometimes sensitive and don't realize people who are irresponsible with money were never spoken to curtly.
@@nowthatsurban dave was super mean to the lady that had a disabled child...if you don't have one you won't understand it.
@@IA-py9by yeah it seemed like she was saying she’d do anything for her child, not “blaming” her for the money they’ve spent.
Sometimes he's super empathetic and understanding. No one is 100 percent all the time.
Agreed - he was out of line and owes that gal an apology off air. If nothing else, that was un-Christian. He knows better. Sometimes we all need a correction - even Mr. Ramsey
The dad is the issue period .
What is so wrong with the children of the not prepared elderly parents. Starting a sinking fund for the plight of there parents needs as they age? We do it for an up coming baby and their college. Why not our parents???when I am on bbstep 7 my charity first will be my family wo enabling.
I have to ask, is having bills direct debited out of your account in the US just not a thing? Or is it one of those Freedumb things you all have? These days, there really is no excuse for not having your bills automatically deducted when due. There really is no excuse for not at least having one extra bank account where you normalise out all the bills over the year and you have money automatically moved by the bank on a schedule when your pay or social security goes in so that money isn't attached to your spending account so then you have the money to pay your bills. I've never been in the position even when on Centrelink (welfare in Australia), that my bills weren't paid, and weren't accounted for. After being med discharged from the RAAF, I'm on a military pension effectively for the rest of my life. I have a family, with kids, and there is no way that bills aren't accounted for as the most immediate thing. Mortgage, rates, power, and water first. It's all managed in one account now but I use an app that tracks it all and I can plan for years in advance if necessary. The app is backed up by the planning spreadsheet in Excel that dictates what can be spent after the bills and how. Everything is allocated. Something serious has failed in the raising of children these days and the last 30 yrs where people go out in the world and think a credit card is okay, and don't see them as the poisonous rot that they are. Debit cards, and direct debit people. Stop living beyond your means. It really isn't that hard for those that have some sort of income.
Generation X = Da GOAT
Dave does a much better job doing these calls by himself. His Ramsey personalities muddy up the water sometimes.
Honestly daves content is great for people that take very poor decisions. But sometimes I must disagree- like his approach to real estate rentals.
I get that cash and no debt is great - but for most people its a tough time even paying off their primary residence. Just do your due dilligence first - have someone look over the inspection report with you, look at your math, etc.
This guy is good at creating habits.
People also need to live, there’s more to life then rushing to pay off your mortgage. Life is short and can be cruel
Sorry. For. My. Typos
The other house is an inheritance so she has no say aboutbthat house.. it is not hers.
Who allows their parents to just die of poverty? For most of human history and for the majority of the world, helping parents is a given. I don’t understand this advice. The parents are aging.
He is not telling them to abandon the parents. The PARENTS were approached, and Dad essentially dumped the whole thing on the kids, said it was up to them to make their mom, with her mental issues, use insurance. You can't help people who don't want help.
The second feature is that ONE sibling demanded a set amount of money PER SIBLING put in an account. It's not up to the sibling to set the amount each sibling can contribute, particularly when Dad more or less doesn't want the help the caller offered.
I don't think you really listened carefully to the entire call. He said the caller needed to take care of her own family first, the decide with her husband how best to help her parents, if they needed help, and would accept the help offered. Nobody is obligated to give parents who are feckless a regular cash contribution.
Nobody’s going to die of poverty. They’re just going to have to radically downsize their lifestyle and get some food stamps.
I think you don’t have a clue about having a child with special needs or what it takes to get them the help they need. So I think he was really rude and out of place in this instance.
I disagree w Dave. I feel like every child has a moral or ethical obligations to take care of their parents.
Have you seen some parents? Maybe some children, but definitely not every child.
Everyone has a moral and ethical obligation to have a PLAN for what happens when THEY reach that age. If the parent has spent their lifetime preparing, then it's less of a burden on the child and is actually manageable.
The parent has had 50 years of adulthood to prepare for this day.
Doesn’t matter what you feel. No child has the obligation to take care of their parents.
@@seanjean9677 if that’s your logic then idc how Dave feels or you as well. Every child has a moral and ethical obligation. Crazy that your parents took care of you as a kid just for you to feel that way 🤦🏽♂️ whether they were poor or rich spoil brat
❤️❤️❤️
wuaoooo
🎉🎉🎉
☆☆☆☆☆
Dave is too cold sometimes with kids repaying a bit of financial support to parents. I disagree with Dave here, with what little info he has to react like this. My mom passed away when I was a little child, but I would do anything for my Mom.
Repaying a bit of financial support? That’s the problem with the parents (at least in my case), they think they’re OWED support because they raised the kids. Seems to me THEY were the ones that decided to have kids and with that comes the responsibility of their care.
@@notgivingmyemail3381exactly! Spot on!
@localreviewer5939 you are basing your reaction on a mythical mother you didn't know, not a real person. For all you know, your mother would have been able to take care of herself. You don't know. She unfortunately died.
The parents in this scenario, and the one sibling, are what Dave calls travel agents for guilt trips. They want to remain feckless (love that word!), while depending on their kids for support. That's wrong.
And for the record, I'm female. This RUclips ID is in honor of my dad- who did not expect his kids to pay his way, simply because he raised them.
Not sure why but I love that Dave Ramsey quoted Alice Cooper.
Had to turn this off! We all do stuff for our family that might be mistakes but Dave should not have come at the woman with the special needs child. He has no idea what the
Limits are or anything about this family! Shameful! I’ve heard some really bad things about this dude and starting to believe them!
Stop it. Stop trying to look for an excuse to be in debt. Listen clear to the caller, and you will agree 100% with Dave's . People are always looking to blame someone for their bad behavior.