Gabe hang in there. Being solo is a growing process. I'm 47 and I have some days where I think of my mother who passed in 2011 and the feeling of being solo is HEAVY. Expect to know people in life, but only really really have 1 or 2 friends over your entire life. God bless you.
I'm so sorry to hear that brother, and thank you so much. Yeah, I'm lucky to still have both my parents but I'm going to be even more alone when my mom and dad pass away.
@@ACrownofFlowers yeah....its a normal step in life to succeed parents. Its really hard when its the mother and the 5 years after that is a critical time in a persons life. The growth is unreal. I hope to learn sign language and build more friendships in the future.
Thank you for talking about your experiences. Even for us able bodied people being lonely, it's a whole new world for the disabled peeps. All these people to talk to but you can't exactly relate. I wish the best for you!
Thanks man. Yeah, I wasn't trying to invalidate able-bodied people's experiences either, but I appreciate you acknowledging that it's a different level of loneliness. Also, you haven't commented on my videos in a long time. It's good to see you "back."
I could tell that you have a lot of wisdom based on your words. You must have gained some inner beauty from your struggle as a disabled person. I suffer from high functioning mental disablility, and I understand your frustration. It sucks, (not being invited or anything) I truley thank you for being someone that one can relate to. That's a virtue in itself. Edit: Just subbed. Can't wait to hear more from you😁
Post edit: I heard this quote from this one movie called King of the Wind: "There would be no flower of the desert if it did not stuggle to survive [...]" hope that means something...
Gabe, man, we need more people like you in this world. There's a shortage of honest, decent people with an honourable spirit. There's always good out there, mate. Keep up the good work
1:31 yes! i learned this in school to be honest. I look back and I wish I just had more confidence in my self because I really missed out on getting to know amazing people. I wasnt mean to anyone but I definitely didnt try to get to know my differently abled peers. I was living in a predominantly white/asian neighbourhood and I didnt want to be ostracized any further. I really have to thank God for showing me better. I look back at how crap I was. Theres people my age that still think that way. If I ever have kids I dont want to raise them like that. Because in the end, I grew up and realized I was a crap person and I had work to do. Thank you thank you thank you for your channel 🙏🏾
I appreciate you for being one of the very few that admits that. I know too many able-bodied and disabled people that chase after that type of stuff that will get defensive if you call them out on it. Even I had trouble with it and I just recently realized what I was doing, and I've made an effort to actually reach out to more disabled people to become their friend.
@@ACrownofFlowers the standard (especially for the ruling class and anyone with any sort of social privilege) for people to be considered “good people” is quite low.
I am not visibly disabled and I am lonely even with people. Wouldn’t it be funny that I can relate to you, it’s not funny because I actually find you way more relatable than most people As for invitation, I was invited to lots of pool parties, although I hated them but it’s not like I can invite you, it would feel inappropriate. Idk man your conditions limits the type of parties or fun you can have
I understand dude. And invisible disabilities are just as valid. And yeah I understand, loneliness is more about not fitting in than then having people around.
It makes me upset when people make fun of disabled people, like Gabe. Keep your head up buddy, and I wish you much luck with the surgeries. I’m here for you if you need someone to talk to.
Thanks man. Like I said, it's not so much that they made fun of me it's that they just excluded me from most things. If you want you can email me at: askgabequestions@gmail.com
It is frutrating. I do not know what the true meaning is ??but my take from the saying( the pen is mightier than the sword). Is that i think the sword represents anger and the pen represents logic reason truth. Like if you can redirect that emotional energy of anger some how to approach or attack the issue with some sort of way to resolve with logic truth and reason. A more direct and presice use of your emotional energy. You know what i mean. The topic of lonliness. Is complex multifacited. I agree and it reminds me of global politics. Like a complex machine with many working parts. For the machine to work correctly you know all the parts have to be working together and working correctly. I experienced poverty at times through my life and learned money is a big determining factor in social a status and acceptance how people view you and value you as a productive member of a society. Poverty can make people financially disabled and. Subject to judgement and ridicule. I watched one of your videos months ago when i was. Feeling down and lonley. Thats how i found your video. You responded to my comments and i respected that of you so i make an effort to check out your videos when ever i get a chance. Just hearing you talk about some stuff you talk about that i can understand and relate. Helped me stand up out of a dark lonley pit i put myself in thinking i was the only one noticing and being disturbed by such things. It is difficult frustrating. I respect martin luther king junior speach. Says something allong the lines. We have the resources we have the ability. We just do not have the will. Lonliness is a real tough one. Frustrating because is seems like it should be something so easy to fix ? Thanks man
Thanks for sharing your experience with us. I’m an able bodied person, but it is really good for me to hear about life from your perspective. I can understand why you would totally be bitter at me for the very real privileges I have. I feel like in a way we have failed you because all of the narratives in society are that you have no worth if you can’t work or don’t have money or a family. I don’t believe that, but I know in your position I would feel that way
Thank you man, I really appreciate it! If you want to help change the situation, please consider supporting your local ARC or other organizations in your area which assist the disabled community. I hope my other videos will also help shed light on other aspects of living with cerebral palsy.
Wishing you the best brother. I'm sorry that you got dealt a difficult hand. You're clearly a bright guy and that's more than a lot of able-bodied people can say. Not to minimize your struggles but a LOT of people are lonely today. People are watching these videos because they can relate. Disabled and able-bodied alike. So it may not be much of a consolation but at least know that you're not alone in being lonely. And you've got a crowd of digital supporters here. Take care.
Man, that seems really tough, thank you though for sharing this. You seem like a very well spoken person, very self aware, and honestly probably a cool guy to hang around. As an able bodied person, I do completely understand your viewpoint that you shared towards the end of the video, about community. Of course as much as I can hope and dream that we all, regardless of ability, could be socially equal in the eyes of society, I unfortunately know that on a large scale, that's not going to be anytime soon. I've watched certain communities fall apart over the years, and I really do think that it has contributed to some of the chaos in our modern society. I don't think that every community should be a hivemind, but I do think that every person on this Earth has the right to _belong_ somewhere; and for some, a solid community is just what they need. I genuinely have the hope that one day you will find some good friends, and people close to you. I know that there are people out there who will enjoy your company, and you theirs, you just haven't crossed paths yet. Stay strong, man 💪.
Thank you for being so understanding, dude. And thank you for not really giving into platitudes. I actually do have quite a few close friends, but not like people that I know that would regularly go out and do stuff with me together, that's the biggest issue. And I hope that one day we can get to that point of everyone feeling welcome as well regardless of ability. I hope that you enjoy the rest of the channel!
You seem like one of the realest, most open people. I had a small group of friends but always felt like a kind of decoration. I was there but not really, if that makes sense. I don't wanna go into too much detail and end up writing a wall of text but ... I can see a lot of myself in what you were describing. Have a good day bro.
Gabe, you're not alone. Where I live, it's hard to find like minded people, which also is why I opened up my channel. You seem like a kind hearted person, I am sure many people would love to be your friend. Hang in there and God Bless.
Even when I’m in a crowd, I feel alone. I always feel alone🤷♀️. I know I’m responsible for my social anxiety, anti-social & trust issues. I’ve just learned to accept that I’m different & it’s okay to be alone.🥲🫶🙍♀️
Yeah, and I know this is unpopular to say, but if we really want to form a community, we're going to have to understand that we do owe each other some form of reciprocity, because the chains of reciprocity are the foundation of any community.
I'm sorry man. I'm not in a wheelchair or anything like that, but I've just always been very shy and rarely relate to anyone. The loneliness has gotten better for me lately but unfortunately it has not come until pretty late in life. I just don't care as much anymore. I have a few people I text every so often and I live with family. Took me years of searching just to find a few acquaintances/friends, but I didn't give up and I found something. I'm currently taking a kind of break from my boyfriend though it was more like a situationship. We are not well matched, but I see him as better than nothing. For some people, especially those who struggle greatly with finding people who are willing to be in your life at all, you make do with what you can. You have to decide what works best for you because no one knows your situation better than you. All we can do is keep trying to improve life for ourselves. Like if you're lonely, keep reaching out to people. You may not realize it, but think about how much worse your life could be if you didn't try. You're doing better than you think and should be proud of yourself for not backing down from the challenge. The easier your life the less you gain. I believe we are all souls. Our lives are temporary but the soul continues on. Always always know that there is hope. How we feel at any given moment is temporary. Your happiness will come back to you again, remember that. It can help take the edge off my sadness.
So sorry to hear that, sister. I didn't mean to imply that I didn't have any friends-I do have friends-I just don't have a friend group that I regularly do stuff with. I'm basically in a similar situation to you on the relationship front. In 2018 I got into a situationship with a much older woman, while I appreciate what she helped me do, 😉 she was also ashamed of me and I almost knocked her up after 2 years because she wanted to go unprotected-thankfully nothing happened, but it still scared the crap out of me. On that front, I have no hope anymore. I have completely given up. It's very different when you have a disability my man. I have just been focused on trying to make a friend group, but no more relationships. A lot of people tell me the same thing you tell me, but it's just one of those things that I'm unwilling to compromise on. Thank you for your comment, and I hope your situation improves as well.
I'm afraid it is. Although it'll get better eventually, (even if it's not in my lifetime). I believe that the disabled community will eventually come together again-that's really an issue.
Same. If I wanted to I could be with dark skin girls because I'm light skin. And it's not that I don't like dark skin or indigenous looking girls but I know they only want me because I fit what society says is the thing to have in a partner physically speaking.
My favorite movie is the odyssey. There's a scene when king Odysseus gives his some a lesson in controlling his anger. He said it is easy to be angry. I'm with you friend. If I allow myself I can get angry at the fact that we neglect our responsibilities as Stewart's of planet earth. Stewart ship. All for one one for all instead we put animals in a zoo for our joy and pleasure fine whatever. I think we disconnected ourselves from the natural world. I believe within an apex ecosystem it creates balance and harmony so that all living things can thrive in abundance. I do not think we take vary good care of our planet. And I think it reflects in that we do not take vary good care of eachother. It's not all for one and one for all with an equal distribution of accumulated wealth no instead we created and live in a fiefdom. Competition. Competative sports I believe is the preschool to war fare just my own belief. The money we spend so we can wturn on the tv and watch our favorite heroes chase balls on tv is the kind of money that could feed cloth and house thousands of people. We created a mane made world separate from the natural world totally out of balance and no harmony. As mammals unfortunately we will be forced to adapt to the man made unnatural world. This will put a stall in man's abilities to become evolved in body and mind. We can only evolve within a world touched by God. Not a world destroyed by man. You are right no one cares. They got bills to pay
Do you have any experience with or have you thought of online friends or chatting or communities etc as a way to deal with loneliness and what's your opinion on it?
I mean I know it's unpopular but I try to make friends IRL. Yeah, I do have a lot of exclusively online friends, not even going to lie, but nothing beats the physical presence of a human being.
@@thegoldentree6913 yeah man. I'm really all about living My philosophy. There would really be no point in having funded a $100,000 education where I studied a bunch of classic texts only to not apply those texts in my life and in the community. And as I said in the video, I have nothing against the able-bodied, but not enough people are really allies or doing that much to help better our situation, so we'll have to do it ourselves.
Sure, but in the meanwhile you can watch some of my other gaming related videos... ruclips.net/video/916Cl_Vjm1Q/видео.html ruclips.net/video/BlpfyJsp_vk/видео.html ruclips.net/video/Qv_WEd82g3E/видео.html
On one hand, your story is my story. On the other hand, I loathe the excuses and victim mentality... and I say this from a place where the narrative in the videos are coming from a place of childhood deficit. I have to believe that most of your followers already understand your background and systemic influences, so why continue to paint yourself in that light? We get it. How are you going to overcome it? You want to do advocacy, right? Both you and those you are working with can't be victims. Do you get what I'm saying? You are now an adult. If you want friends, it will require some effort and bids for connection. The more you invest and give, the more chances of return. Regardless of whether or not people are jaded and tell you otherwise.
Agreed man. That's why I said that I do take responsibility for some of it. It's not victim mentality because I'm actively working to change it and I want to change the way we as disabled people see ourselves. Did you even watch the whole video? Because I say that that's why we need self-sufficiency and self-determination for the community. And honestly, you're just wrong about the fact that investment always equals a positive return be one in-don't get me wrong. I'm not saying don't try, but we can't force the able-bodied community within where we live to want to interact with us. You know I love you man. You know that I think you're really cool and you're an even better weightlifter than I am, but I would suggest that you maybe get off of the American individualist propaganda and work towards helping build an economically self-sufficient an interdependent disabled community. I know you have your things and you're working on stuff, but regardless of what Americans will tell you, we can't do it if we're chasing after the validation of able-bodied people, my man. The individualist tract is not the only way out.
Amigo, no hablo Portugués, pero más o menos te puedo entender. Lo siento mucho y espero que un día puedas tener amigos. Pero aún así me agrada que hayas podido simpatizarte un poquito con mis experiencias. 😁❤️
I know a kid at my school who has a similar exprience I wanted to be his friend because I thought he was cool and like minded until we brought up politics and apparently he was a huge trump fan and told on me for saying bad stuff about trump. I just said I didnt like him and he told on me and I got in trouble. I could tell he had a lot of anger built up inside. He was almost the exact same condition as you and when he passed by on his motorized wheelchair people would make fun of him and call him Timmy from southpark. So I can understand where all that anger came from but I dont think it was right of him to push thatt anger on to those who liked him. I feel if he continues down that path he will end up lonely and I feel really bad for him. It wasnt his fault he was put in that position. Now im not allowed to talk to him
Lol. That sounds rough my man. I've never met another disabled person that liked Trump. I don't like Trump. Most disabled people don't like Trump. But I love Timmy man. That really sounds like a him problem, because I would have just laughed at it. But I also think that it's not a crime to say that we need to build a stronger community. We have nothing of our own, if that makes sense.
Hey, God bless you. Look, I understand that your situation is complicated. Personally, I'm like you. I don't have friends or a job. Right now, I have a job interview and I can't get a job, or if it's applied and I haven't been able to get it. And well, look, I can only help you. say that Christ loves you no matter if you are alone or with friends God loves you adores you and I want you to know that he takes care of you and protects you only pray to him and he will fill that feeling of loneliness that you have he doesn't care if you are upset with him He wants you to open your heart, ask him to come into your life as your Lord and Savior and he will heal you. I tell you this because he did that with me. I have always been and am a lonely person. It has always been difficult for me to make friends. I have suffered a lot of ridicule. , humiliations and Bullying and I tell you that it is difficult, it is hard but I want you to know that a God who is more powerful than all that I do not have the same problems as you but I want you to know that God is bigger than everything that torments us .❤
@@ACrownofFlowers my beautiful friend from experience I can tell you that God is not a feeling faith and knowing that he loves you is a choice I fail so many times on the idea of a feeling I was a very broken person but after I realized that happiness and faith and accepting his love is a choice and not a feeling I realized that god is always there !!!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
@@ACrownofFlowers Please try God again. I hate to be a bible thumper but I don't want you to give up. Try downloading the bible app on your phone, it has an audio book. Even if you don't believe, give it a try. I have to reiterate what this other person is saying because God also helped me. I am wishing you the best in life. I don't know why you are disabled or why you have faced the difficulties that you have during this life but I hope that you find something fulfilling and eventually have more peace.
@@ACrownofFlowers God is not some pill or drug you take to feel better. Christian evangelist Jim Elliot was speared to death in Ecuador trying to spread the news of Jesus. After his death, his wife went to the very tribe that killed him and they all accepted Jesus. She could have been killed as well but she went anyway because it was that important. God is a fact of life. No one has to follow him if they don't want to. God loves you but leaves you with the free will to accept his love. We are all called to a great adventure of our life and we can only begin that life once we allow God to be the coauthor of our life.
I understand that you have much more troubles find genuine human connection than able bodied people. But thats why i think you are most likely projecting your own insecurities onto the others. Im tall, handsome and have good genetics on weight and overall size of muscles, if you see me you would be certain that i dont have any problems to have connections to people but thats super wrong. I mean everybody feels lonely sometimes but even the quality of the time with people is worse than ever before in all developed world. Nobody feels that sense of community, like one direction in nation. We have nothing to united us. Everybody have internet have their own opinion on everything, everybody lives in their own social internet bubble oblivius whats happing anywhere. What im just trying to say its crazy world these days. Even if you are with people doesnt mean you would feel real human connection( . Maybe if you feel lonely sometimes just remember, even if it dont look like it everybody struggles with loneliness.
My brother in Christ, you know that I don't believe that only disabled people can be lonely,. But the loneliness is much more and at a different level than other people-the data is clear on that. I'm so sorry you had to go through that man, but not all the world is like that. If you go to a lot of third world countries, like where I'm originally from, it's not like that. And also I still think the disabled community focuses on the wrong things. Edit: Also what you say about loneliness being more of a social category rather than just a feeling? I have a video on that here: ruclips.net/video/ZWfKLT8OCl8/видео.html
All there is really is to hope for the technological singularity to come faster in existence for us poor souls to finally achieve salvation & cognitive liberty via advanced genetic alteration and BCI technologies. Anything different really is just wishful thinking and delusional.
@@ACrownofFlowers You may want to look into the work of the philosopher David Pearce. He strifes for the abolishment of suffering itself in all it forms...kinda intriguing concept.
@@metamind095 What I want instead is exactly what I said in the video, us being able to keep some of our benefits without having to not work just to have healthcare, and our accumulation of capital through that so that we can actually have a community that is interdependent.
Honestly you seem so cool to me, you ever entered a program for disabled adults? I think they have some where they take you guys places and you can hang out. Do you have discord?
That's not really available in my area. Most of the programs available you have to have an intellectual disability, which I don't. I do volunteer for the ARC though. And no I don't have a discord but if you want to get in contact with me you can always email me at askgabequestions@gmail.com
Gabe hang in there. Being solo is a growing process. I'm 47 and I have some days where I think of my mother who passed in 2011 and the feeling of being solo is HEAVY. Expect to know people in life, but only really really have 1 or 2 friends over your entire life. God bless you.
I'm so sorry to hear that brother, and thank you so much. Yeah, I'm lucky to still have both my parents but I'm going to be even more alone when my mom and dad pass away.
@@ACrownofFlowers yeah....its a normal step in life to succeed parents. Its really hard when its the mother and the 5 years after that is a critical time in a persons life. The growth is unreal. I hope to learn sign language and build more friendships in the future.
@@H.E.CameronPatterson I wish you all the luck in that.
Thank you for talking about your experiences. Even for us able bodied people being lonely, it's a whole new world for the disabled peeps. All these people to talk to but you can't exactly relate. I wish the best for you!
Thanks man. Yeah, I wasn't trying to invalidate able-bodied people's experiences either, but I appreciate you acknowledging that it's a different level of loneliness. Also, you haven't commented on my videos in a long time. It's good to see you "back."
Another based Gabe video, hope you doing well man. ❤
Thanks man, I'm actually doing pretty well. This was actually a subscriber request!
You are awesome! Thanks for sharing your story, and don't be hard on yourself for not being social it is totally understandable. I love you!
I appreciate that, and thanks for listening!
Your never alone buddy, god knows who you are.your a handsome guy world is heading off in different paths like a branch on a tree is all
Thank you, my friend. I hope things change for the world soon.
I could tell that you have a lot of wisdom based on your words. You must have gained some inner beauty from your struggle as a disabled person. I suffer from high functioning mental disablility, and I understand your frustration. It sucks, (not being invited or anything) I truley thank you for being someone that one can relate to. That's a virtue in itself. Edit: Just subbed. Can't wait to hear more from you😁
Post edit: I heard this quote from this one movie called King of the Wind: "There would be no flower of the desert if it did not stuggle to survive [...]" hope that means something...
Thank you so much man!
That's a cool quote.
Thanks!
Gabe, man, we need more people like you in this world. There's a shortage of honest, decent people with an honourable spirit. There's always good out there, mate.
Keep up the good work
Thank you.
1:31 yes! i learned this in school to be honest. I look back and I wish I just had more confidence in my self because I really missed out on getting to know amazing people. I wasnt mean to anyone but I definitely didnt try to get to know my differently abled peers. I was living in a predominantly white/asian neighbourhood and I didnt want to be ostracized any further. I really have to thank God for showing me better. I look back at how crap I was. Theres people my age that still think that way. If I ever have kids I dont want to raise them like that. Because in the end, I grew up and realized I was a crap person and I had work to do. Thank you thank you thank you for your channel 🙏🏾
I appreciate you for being one of the very few that admits that. I know too many able-bodied and disabled people that chase after that type of stuff that will get defensive if you call them out on it. Even I had trouble with it and I just recently realized what I was doing, and I've made an effort to actually reach out to more disabled people to become their friend.
@@ACrownofFlowers the standard (especially for the ruling class and anyone with any sort of social privilege) for people to be considered “good people” is quite low.
@@ajewishchristianmuslim I'm afraid you're right.
I am not visibly disabled and I am lonely even with people.
Wouldn’t it be funny that I can relate to you, it’s not funny because I actually find you way more relatable than most people
As for invitation, I was invited to lots of pool parties, although I hated them but it’s not like I can invite you, it would feel inappropriate. Idk man your conditions limits the type of parties or fun you can have
I understand dude. And invisible disabilities are just as valid. And yeah I understand, loneliness is more about not fitting in than then having people around.
@@ACrownofFlowersglad you do understand, it's hard either way
@@HangMrH agree.
This was super nice to hear. Somehow I already knew, but didn’t know, that I need to try more new things. Appreciate you
Thank you man.
It makes me upset when people make fun of disabled people, like Gabe. Keep your head up buddy, and I wish you much luck with the surgeries. I’m here for you if you need someone to talk to.
Thanks man. Like I said, it's not so much that they made fun of me it's that they just excluded me from most things. If you want you can email me at: askgabequestions@gmail.com
It is frutrating. I do not know what the true meaning is ??but my take from the saying( the pen is mightier than the sword). Is that i think the sword represents anger and the pen represents logic reason truth. Like if you can redirect that emotional energy of anger some how to approach or attack the issue with some sort of way to resolve with logic truth and reason. A more direct and presice use of your emotional energy. You know what i mean. The topic of lonliness. Is complex multifacited. I agree and it reminds me of global politics. Like a complex machine with many working parts. For the machine to work correctly you know all the parts have to be working together and working correctly. I experienced poverty at times through my life and learned money is a big determining factor in social a status and acceptance how people view you and value you as a productive member of a society. Poverty can make people financially disabled and. Subject to judgement and ridicule. I watched one of your videos months ago when i was. Feeling down and lonley. Thats how i found your video. You responded to my comments and i respected that of you so i make an effort to check out your videos when ever i get a chance. Just hearing you talk about some stuff you talk about that i can understand and relate. Helped me stand up out of a dark lonley pit i put myself in thinking i was the only one noticing and being disturbed by such things. It is difficult frustrating. I respect martin luther king junior speach. Says something allong the lines. We have the resources we have the ability. We just do not have the will. Lonliness is a real tough one. Frustrating because is seems like it should be something so easy to fix ? Thanks man
Thanks. I actually am trying. I'm signing up to volunteer and we'll hopefully be doing that within the next two weeks.
Being broke really sucks. We have been dealing with this damn inflation for years
Yeah man it's probably the number two Factor.
Yeah I feel you guys am lonely no friends no good family it just sucks
@@TonyTheTiger1000 sorry to hear that, brother.
@@ACrownofFlowers Don’t feel sorry for me at all man is fine just out of my control.
Thanks for sharing your experience with us. I’m an able bodied person, but it is really good for me to hear about life from your perspective. I can understand why you would totally be bitter at me for the very real privileges I have. I feel like in a way we have failed you because all of the narratives in society are that you have no worth if you can’t work or don’t have money or a family. I don’t believe that, but I know in your position I would feel that way
Thank you man, I really appreciate it! If you want to help change the situation, please consider supporting your local ARC or other organizations in your area which assist the disabled community. I hope my other videos will also help shed light on other aspects of living with cerebral palsy.
You are never alone. God is always with you. I understand your pain as a human being being alone. God bless. ❤
Thank you.
Wishing you the best brother. I'm sorry that you got dealt a difficult hand. You're clearly a bright guy and that's more than a lot of able-bodied people can say. Not to minimize your struggles but a LOT of people are lonely today. People are watching these videos because they can relate. Disabled and able-bodied alike. So it may not be much of a consolation but at least know that you're not alone in being lonely. And you've got a crowd of digital supporters here. Take care.
Thank you. That means a lot.
Man, that seems really tough, thank you though for sharing this. You seem like a very well spoken person, very self aware, and honestly probably a cool guy to hang around. As an able bodied person, I do completely understand your viewpoint that you shared towards the end of the video, about community. Of course as much as I can hope and dream that we all, regardless of ability, could be socially equal in the eyes of society, I unfortunately know that on a large scale, that's not going to be anytime soon. I've watched certain communities fall apart over the years, and I really do think that it has contributed to some of the chaos in our modern society. I don't think that every community should be a hivemind, but I do think that every person on this Earth has the right to _belong_ somewhere; and for some, a solid community is just what they need.
I genuinely have the hope that one day you will find some good friends, and people close to you. I know that there are people out there who will enjoy your company, and you theirs, you just haven't crossed paths yet. Stay strong, man 💪.
Thank you for being so understanding, dude. And thank you for not really giving into platitudes. I actually do have quite a few close friends, but not like people that I know that would regularly go out and do stuff with me together, that's the biggest issue. And I hope that one day we can get to that point of everyone feeling welcome as well regardless of ability. I hope that you enjoy the rest of the channel!
You seem like one of the realest, most open people. I had a small group of friends but always felt like a kind of decoration. I was there but not really, if that makes sense. I don't wanna go into too much detail and end up writing a wall of text but ... I can see a lot of myself in what you were describing. Have a good day bro.
Thanks dude! And I'm glad you could relate.
Gabe, you're not alone. Where I live, it's hard to find like minded people, which also is why I opened up my channel. You seem like a kind hearted person, I am sure many people would love to be your friend. Hang in there and God Bless.
Thank you and same to you.
Your inner strength is admirable man. Keep doing what makes you happy and or free.
Thanks man.
Just discovered your channel and I love it! 😊😊 subscribed 💕
Thank you!
I hope you feel happy and I wish all a luck for u 😊
I'm trying man.
@@ACrownofFlowers Keep it up you can do it man 😊
@@Levithomsons2710 I sure well.
@@ACrownofFlowers You can did it trust me 😊
@@Levithomsons2710 I hope so man.
10:42 thank you for being real and honest. People dont say these things.
No problem.
Even when I’m in a crowd, I feel alone. I always feel alone🤷♀️. I know I’m responsible for my social anxiety, anti-social & trust issues.
I’ve just learned to accept that I’m different & it’s okay to be alone.🥲🫶🙍♀️
Same. I also have a video about that, where it's one of the things they don't really tell you about loneliness.
❤ great video im a new subscriber ♥️
Thank you and welcome!
Thank you.
You're welcome.
its important to try, it may work out or not at least you did it again 👍👍 find happiness for yourself, and find little happiness in something you love
I'm certainly trying!
Social stigma is such bullshit... I feel like we'd be good friends if you lived nearby. Love that intro by the way!
Thank you so much!
@@ACrownofFlowers Pleasure's all mine! Perhaps we could be friends one day? ;D
@@AntoniTolwinski you can always email me at: askgabequestions@gmail.com
8:46 you have every right to be. This world wants us to be divided and not love each other. Its not hard to just respect people.
Yeah, and I know this is unpopular to say, but if we really want to form a community, we're going to have to understand that we do owe each other some form of reciprocity, because the chains of reciprocity are the foundation of any community.
@@ACrownofFlowers “the chains of reciprocity are the foundations of community” is that from a book? damn
@@ajewishchristianmuslim no, it's just a phrase that I came up with from Rousseau and Nietzsche.
I'm sorry man. I'm not in a wheelchair or anything like that, but I've just always been very shy and rarely relate to anyone. The loneliness has gotten better for me lately but unfortunately it has not come until pretty late in life. I just don't care as much anymore. I have a few people I text every so often and I live with family. Took me years of searching just to find a few acquaintances/friends, but I didn't give up and I found something. I'm currently taking a kind of break from my boyfriend though it was more like a situationship. We are not well matched, but I see him as better than nothing. For some people, especially those who struggle greatly with finding people who are willing to be in your life at all, you make do with what you can. You have to decide what works best for you because no one knows your situation better than you. All we can do is keep trying to improve life for ourselves. Like if you're lonely, keep reaching out to people. You may not realize it, but think about how much worse your life could be if you didn't try. You're doing better than you think and should be proud of yourself for not backing down from the challenge. The easier your life the less you gain. I believe we are all souls. Our lives are temporary but the soul continues on. Always always know that there is hope. How we feel at any given moment is temporary. Your happiness will come back to you again, remember that. It can help take the edge off my sadness.
So sorry to hear that, sister. I didn't mean to imply that I didn't have any friends-I do have friends-I just don't have a friend group that I regularly do stuff with. I'm basically in a similar situation to you on the relationship front. In 2018 I got into a situationship with a much older woman, while I appreciate what she helped me do, 😉 she was also ashamed of me and I almost knocked her up after 2 years because she wanted to go unprotected-thankfully nothing happened, but it still scared the crap out of me. On that front, I have no hope anymore. I have completely given up. It's very different when you have a disability my man. I have just been focused on trying to make a friend group, but no more relationships. A lot of people tell me the same thing you tell me, but it's just one of those things that I'm unwilling to compromise on. Thank you for your comment, and I hope your situation improves as well.
the world is a really ableist place
I'm afraid it is. Although it'll get better eventually, (even if it's not in my lifetime). I believe that the disabled community will eventually come together again-that's really an issue.
I wish I could be ur friend ❤
I mean I doubt it's possible physically, but you can always email me at: gabecoronado66@gmail.com
I feel like most people use me. As either a trophy to be seen with. Or because I look exotic.😕
Same. If I wanted to I could be with dark skin girls because I'm light skin. And it's not that I don't like dark skin or indigenous looking girls but I know they only want me because I fit what society says is the thing to have in a partner physically speaking.
:D love from me !
Thank you!
Gabe, you could make a video about the gym sometime.
I have made videos about the gym. Hold on...
ruclips.net/video/cUWUmuoHxuM/видео.html
😊
😁
My favorite movie is the odyssey. There's a scene when king Odysseus gives his some a lesson in controlling his anger. He said it is easy to be angry. I'm with you friend. If I allow myself I can get angry at the fact that we neglect our responsibilities as Stewart's of planet earth. Stewart ship. All for one one for all instead we put animals in a zoo for our joy and pleasure fine whatever. I think we disconnected ourselves from the natural world. I believe within an apex ecosystem it creates balance and harmony so that all living things can thrive in abundance. I do not think we take vary good care of our planet. And I think it reflects in that we do not take vary good care of eachother. It's not all for one and one for all with an equal distribution of accumulated wealth no instead we created and live in a fiefdom. Competition. Competative sports I believe is the preschool to war fare just my own belief. The money we spend so we can wturn on the tv and watch our favorite heroes chase balls on tv is the kind of money that could feed cloth and house thousands of people. We created a mane made world separate from the natural world totally out of balance and no harmony. As mammals unfortunately we will be forced to adapt to the man made unnatural world. This will put a stall in man's abilities to become evolved in body and mind. We can only evolve within a world touched by God. Not a world destroyed by man. You are right no one cares. They got bills to pay
Agree. It's just so frustrating.
Do you have any experience with or have you thought of online friends or chatting or communities etc as a way to deal with loneliness and what's your opinion on it?
I mean I know it's unpopular but I try to make friends IRL. Yeah, I do have a lot of exclusively online friends, not even going to lie, but nothing beats the physical presence of a human being.
@@ACrownofFlowers True. I don't think its unpopular, in fact i haven't heard any person say otherwise.
@@thegoldentree6913 yeah man. I'm really all about living My philosophy. There would really be no point in having funded a $100,000 education where I studied a bunch of classic texts only to not apply those texts in my life and in the community. And as I said in the video, I have nothing against the able-bodied, but not enough people are really allies or doing that much to help better our situation, so we'll have to do it ourselves.
Going forward after you graduated what are your plans for the future?
I'm currently writing a book with friends, planning to start volunteering in a week or two, and I started gaming again.
@@ACrownofFlowers Can you make a gaming video for us
Sure, but in the meanwhile you can watch some of my other gaming related videos...
ruclips.net/video/916Cl_Vjm1Q/видео.html
ruclips.net/video/BlpfyJsp_vk/видео.html
ruclips.net/video/Qv_WEd82g3E/видео.html
@@ACrownofFlowers Sorry, I didn't know you couldn't play FPS games. I was just trying to give you a video idea.
@@drk-nh3rw oh no. I didn't mean for you to take it like that. I was just saying that I had other gaming videos as well. 😂😀
On one hand, your story is my story. On the other hand, I loathe the excuses and victim mentality... and I say this from a place where the narrative in the videos are coming from a place of childhood deficit. I have to believe that most of your followers already understand your background and systemic influences, so why continue to paint yourself in that light? We get it. How are you going to overcome it? You want to do advocacy, right? Both you and those you are working with can't be victims. Do you get what I'm saying?
You are now an adult. If you want friends, it will require some effort and bids for connection. The more you invest and give, the more chances of return. Regardless of whether or not people are jaded and tell you otherwise.
Agreed man. That's why I said that I do take responsibility for some of it. It's not victim mentality because I'm actively working to change it and I want to change the way we as disabled people see ourselves. Did you even watch the whole video? Because I say that that's why we need self-sufficiency and self-determination for the community. And honestly, you're just wrong about the fact that investment always equals a positive return be one in-don't get me wrong. I'm not saying don't try, but we can't force the able-bodied community within where we live to want to interact with us.
You know I love you man. You know that I think you're really cool and you're an even better weightlifter than I am, but I would suggest that you maybe get off of the American individualist propaganda and work towards helping build an economically self-sufficient an interdependent disabled community. I know you have your things and you're working on stuff, but regardless of what Americans will tell you, we can't do it if we're chasing after the validation of able-bodied people, my man. The individualist tract is not the only way out.
Sou um garoto de vinte e um anos, e como autista, posso dizer o mesmo. Não tenho amigos... Sério, eu não tenho amigos... Zero amigos...
Amigo, no hablo Portugués, pero más o menos te puedo entender. Lo siento mucho y espero que un día puedas tener amigos. Pero aún así me agrada que hayas podido simpatizarte un poquito con mis experiencias. 😁❤️
@@ACrownofFlowers 👍♥️
👍
I know a kid at my school who has a similar exprience I wanted to be his friend because I thought he was cool and like minded until we brought up politics and apparently he was a huge trump fan and told on me for saying bad stuff about trump. I just said I didnt like him and he told on me and I got in trouble. I could tell he had a lot of anger built up inside. He was almost the exact same condition as you and when he passed by on his motorized wheelchair people would make fun of him and call him Timmy from southpark. So I can understand where all that anger came from but I dont think it was right of him to push thatt anger on to those who liked him. I feel if he continues down that path he will end up lonely and I feel really bad for him. It wasnt his fault he was put in that position. Now im not allowed to talk to him
Lol. That sounds rough my man. I've never met another disabled person that liked Trump. I don't like Trump. Most disabled people don't like Trump. But I love Timmy man. That really sounds like a him problem, because I would have just laughed at it. But I also think that it's not a crime to say that we need to build a stronger community. We have nothing of our own, if that makes sense.
Hey, God bless you. Look, I understand that your situation is complicated. Personally, I'm like you. I don't have friends or a job. Right now, I have a job interview and I can't get a job, or if it's applied and I haven't been able to get it. And well, look, I can only help you. say that Christ loves you no matter if you are alone or with friends God loves you adores you and I want you to know that he takes care of you and protects you only pray to him and he will fill that feeling of loneliness that you have he doesn't care if you are upset with him He wants you to open your heart, ask him to come into your life as your Lord and Savior and he will heal you. I tell you this because he did that with me. I have always been and am a lonely person. It has always been difficult for me to make friends. I have suffered a lot of ridicule. , humiliations and Bullying and I tell you that it is difficult, it is hard but I want you to know that a God who is more powerful than all that I do not have the same problems as you but I want you to know that God is bigger than everything that torments us .❤
I unfortunately already tried that and I didn't feel any different. I appreciate your support though.
@@ACrownofFlowers my beautiful friend from experience I can tell you that God is not a feeling faith and knowing that he loves you is a choice I fail so many times on the idea of a feeling I was a very broken person but after I realized that happiness and faith and accepting his love is a choice and not a feeling I realized that god is always there !!!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
@@GabrielFernández-y7z ok.
@@ACrownofFlowers Please try God again. I hate to be a bible thumper but I don't want you to give up. Try downloading the bible app on your phone, it has an audio book. Even if you don't believe, give it a try. I have to reiterate what this other person is saying because God also helped me. I am wishing you the best in life. I don't know why you are disabled or why you have faced the difficulties that you have during this life but I hope that you find something fulfilling and eventually have more peace.
@@ACrownofFlowers God is not some pill or drug you take to feel better.
Christian evangelist Jim Elliot was speared to death in Ecuador trying to spread the news of Jesus. After his death, his wife went to the very tribe that killed him and they all accepted Jesus. She could have been killed as well but she went anyway because it was that important.
God is a fact of life. No one has to follow him if they don't want to. God loves you but leaves you with the free will to accept his love. We are all called to a great adventure of our life and we can only begin that life once we allow God to be the coauthor of our life.
I understand that you have much more troubles find genuine human connection than able bodied people.
But thats why i think you are most likely projecting your own insecurities onto the others.
Im tall, handsome and have good genetics on weight and overall size of muscles, if you see me you would be certain that i dont have any problems to have connections to people but thats super wrong.
I mean everybody feels lonely sometimes but even the quality of the time with people is worse than ever before in all developed world.
Nobody feels that sense of community, like one direction in nation. We have nothing to united us. Everybody have internet have their own opinion on everything, everybody lives in their own social internet bubble oblivius whats happing anywhere. What im just trying to say its crazy world these days. Even if you are with people doesnt mean you would feel real human connection( .
Maybe if you feel lonely sometimes just remember, even if it dont look like it everybody struggles with loneliness.
My brother in Christ, you know that I don't believe that only disabled people can be lonely,. But the loneliness is much more and at a different level than other people-the data is clear on that. I'm so sorry you had to go through that man, but not all the world is like that. If you go to a lot of third world countries, like where I'm originally from, it's not like that. And also I still think the disabled community focuses on the wrong things.
Edit: Also what you say about loneliness being more of a social category rather than just a feeling? I have a video on that here: ruclips.net/video/ZWfKLT8OCl8/видео.html
i love u
Thank you.
All there is really is to hope for the technological singularity to come faster in existence for us poor souls to finally achieve salvation & cognitive liberty via advanced genetic alteration and BCI technologies. Anything different really is just wishful thinking and delusional.
Well then call me delusional because I don't want that either. Lol.
@@ACrownofFlowers Alright, what do you want then instead?
@@ACrownofFlowers You may want to look into the work of the philosopher David Pearce. He strifes for the abolishment of suffering itself in all it forms...kinda intriguing concept.
@@metamind095 I'll definitely look into it.
@@metamind095 What I want instead is exactly what I said in the video, us being able to keep some of our benefits without having to not work just to have healthcare, and our accumulation of capital through that so that we can actually have a community that is interdependent.
Honestly you seem so cool to me, you ever entered a program for disabled adults? I think they have some where they take you guys places and you can hang out. Do you have discord?
That's not really available in my area. Most of the programs available you have to have an intellectual disability, which I don't. I do volunteer for the ARC though. And no I don't have a discord but if you want to get in contact with me you can always email me at askgabequestions@gmail.com