The Rise of "Throuples" in Gen Z Media
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- Опубликовано: 4 июл 2024
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Hey Rummates, today we're here to talk about throuples, or polyamorous relationships and their recent increase in media/tv representation. We have a lot to get through so, let's talk about it!
Timestamps:
0:00 intro
1:11 the increase in throuple representation
1:42 history/context of polyamory
3:33 current throuples in media
8:20 trends in how throuples are portrayed
9:49 why this matters
12:47 final thoughts
#imurgency #genz #commentary #throuple
I wish they showed different types of polyamorous relationships than just the throuple
Ikr!
Yeah it’s so surface level/easily recognizable but not dived into. Malika in Good Trouble is more in-depth and natural seeming with her exploration of her polyamory and I’m not poly but I do think it comes across more genuine and interesting
I never even thought about the fact that there’s more to poly than a thrupple until now. Whoa 🤯
Good trouble definitely did
Most of the examples aren't even poly, they are more open. Like the heartbreak high was just a threesome and the first élite one was more of a thing where they met up for sex. Sure the rest are probably poly but some of these were just them having a sex agreement.
Im glad that polygamy is getting representation but i have a feeling that poly relationships will just be labeled as “throuples who argue and end in jealousy and two people favoring each other and leaving the other” and like you said it’s most of the time two men and one women. Not to mention how they start as a monogamous couple adding someone into the relationship (and ending with the og couple together)
Yeah its definitely stereotyped to death until better writers can get their hands on this dynamic and actually explore on it
I think you mean polyamory not polygamy
You know statistically a lot of poly relationships where all the partners are dating each other end because of jealousy. There truly is no such thing as equal love, and every dynamic is different, thus a lot ppl cant deal with. A very small % of the population would be able to sustain poly life style and usually those are the type of poly relationships where the ppl involved all date diffrent ppl as opposed to all dating each other
@@girlbehindthereddoor Polygamy is literally a polyamorous relationship.
@@girlbehindthereddoor Polygamy - noun
“the practice or custom of having more than one wife or husband at the same time.”
I hate the oversexualization of these relationships, too. Yeah ofc it can be just sexual (and if we ever got alloaro rep I'd love to see that) but any relationship can be just sexual, including monogamous ones and yet they aren't overwhelmingly depicted that way. It's especially weird considering the disproportionate number of high schoolers and I'm sure the number of bi people in these relationships contributes to their being sexualized (another issue) but good god why must it always be ✨spicy forbidden sexy thing✨ rather than ya know...just another type of relationship.
Agreed, the oversexualization is really annoying
cuz spicy forbidden sexy thing is entertaining lol
@@soulsearcher7077 OK I agree but my point is more that that shouldn't be the only poly rep we get. Like there's plenty of spicy forbidden sexy monogamy in fiction, but not to the point where we are given an image of monogamy itself as inherently spicy sexy forbidden. It just exists, neutrally. I'd like that for polyamory too. So we can get some spicy forbidden sexy poly rep, but also lots of casual and romantic and unsexualized rep, just like we would get with any other relationship. It's all about balance and we do not get that here, we only ever get fetishized and sexualized representation, which is a problem. I won't even say we should necessarily decrease the amount of sexy poly rep (except for teenagers, eww) but it would work just as well to add a bunch of non-sexualized and casual poly rep until there's a good balance.
absolutely, and even if the relationship is solely sexual in nature i'd appreciate it more if they portrayed sex as a neutral thing and not something inherently sinful. also YES to more alloaro rep please 😫
How is it oversexualized? If they weren't fucking each other it would just be another friendship.
i personally kinda liked the throuple in the show "the bastard son and the devil himself" (i cannot believe they cancelled that) because no one felt like they were jealous of anyone but this "new" trope just feels like another place for cis-het creators to make things "spicy" or a way to sexualize bi/pan people in a way that lets them hide behind the screen of "look, we're being progressive!" which is definitely harmful, especially in the long-run.
Agreed! I actually felt it was pretty natural and realistic how they wrote it
Annalise was a little jealous of Nathan in my opinion, but the writing didn’t make her come off as petty or spiteful, just uncomfortable because she could see their relationship was changing with Gabriel around.
Eww no that was terrible it was a forced last minute throuple and the relationship between nathan and gabriel is pedophila, nathan is 16 and Gabriel is a full grown ass man 🤢
@@TheEarthisghetto this is true that part had me stuck but aside from the characters themselves the setup up was one of the better ones I feel it left it to the viewer to assume vs it being so blatant and badly written the key thing for me was that everyone was left to figure themselves out… without the added pressure
@@jacobd1984 I saw it more as Gabriel and Annalise not having the same connection with each other as they had with Nathan (Gabriel also antagonizes her a lot at first) and every one of them exploring and developing these feelings for the others at their own pace and in different ways, in fact the way she reacted during the bed scene or how they individually looked out for each other and had their little moments after that really sold me in the possibility of a healthy trouple with them because they all seemed to genuinely care for the other 2 and that was that
I like throuples but most of the time shows portray them with stereotypes 😭
Omg so true
Bro throuple isn't realistic.
@@Imetwurld_ to you
@@Imetwurld_ for some people. for others it’s doable
Genuinely though… like bringing in a third person to spice it up is not what poloyamory is… it’s what people think it is😂
i wish polyamory wasn’t always represented as throuples because from what i hear it’s not the most common way non-monogamous relationships happen, and if anything actually kinda rare. from what i can tell most non monogamy happens where people just have multiple partners but not everyone is dating each other, you know? they may know each other or even be friends but not everyone is in a relationship with all the people involved. i hope we start to see polyamorous representation like that as well sometime in the future
I think throuples is just an easy way to portray polyamory while having all the characters involved be significant while also having room for other characters to have monogamous relationships
none of my 4 partners are involved with each other! but they’re all good friends :]
I think that would be more like an open relationship? Polyamory is usually when everyone is involved with each other (polycule).
thats usually how i end up
Good Trouble did that with Malika starting in I think sesaon 3?
One thing about Rumi he is always going to come up with a creative name 😂… and express his love/hate relationships with love triangles.
BAHAHAHAHA
@@imuRgency Rumi? Are you Nigerian by any chance?
As a poly person I really loved the hints of a polyamorous relationship in "the bastard son and the devil himself", where there is little to none jealousy involved and it's just part of their journey and not their whole character. Highly recommend the show, even though it got cancelled after season 1 (still mad tbh)
yes even though it kinda had the same “boy and girl dating” thing they still had love for each other. I’m really upset they cancelled it too because I was really looking forward to see how they were going to mold that relationship.
That show had so much potential, it really sucks that it was canceled.
I was just speaking about this in my video. I love the throuple vibes between those three and I love how it’s not a gigantic part of the story or their characters. It was so good
I didn’t know they canceled it😢Damn.
absolutely criminal that it was cancelled
honestly i think a better or more honest portrayal of non monogamy or polyamory on screen was Netflix’s Sense8 and even then that concept of the show is science fiction, and yet it’s still more realistic with the interactions of the people involved rather than the odd ways that the media currently portrays “throuples”💀😭. Some were friends, the people involved in the group situation also had their own separate romantic interactions that didn’t necessarily involve the entire group, and friendships and relationships that exist completely independent of the group.
it’s so good and now i purely need something similar that doesn’t get cancelled after two seasons😭
omg yess plus it was a genuinely good show
Yeah, that show had so much right.
I've been meaning to watch Sense8 for ages but have been told it's quite violent/graphic so not sure if I'll be able to enjoy it. Mostly been watching the storylines on RUclips lol. I can't tell whether Lito, Hernando and Dani were meant to be a throuple by the end because it looked that way and they all lived together but she seemed more like a friend/"third" and don't Lito and Hernando both identify as gay (not into women at all)?
@@tinyblueunicorn7807 they are a throuple. Lito identifies as a gay man but due to his connection with the other main characters he has some attraction to women (the creator of the show has said all the sensates are pan/bi to varying degrees). Hernando’s sexuality is never explicitly stated though it is probably safe to say he is gay. Their relationship is pretty unique in that Dani is a part of them but she is also more like a queer platonic partner than a genuine romantic one, and she occasionally has sex with them. Though the way she has sex with them is more as an observer/voyeur than an active participant
@@tinyblueunicorn7807
Yeah, the way the show and creator portrays the sensate's connection to each other with them all sharing romantic and sexual desires to varying degrees. So they are all bi/pan to some degree. I love that show and while I'm upset we didn't get a full final third season, they did give us a movie to wrap things up and everyone lived and was happy in the end ❤🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🤍🖤
I've been polyamorous since 2016 and ended up "going monogamous" for my husband when we first started dating. We later opened our marriage back up, not to spice anything up but just because that's what I identified as and my husband was curious to try it out. What we practice is something called kitchen-table polyamory, which means that any partners we have are introduced as sort of a new member to the family and it's expected that we'll all be bonded to one another, whether it's romantically or platonically. So like my husband's girlfriend is my best friend. We have had sexual relations one on one as well as in a threesome, but we primarily identify as just friends. On the flip side, my boyfriend is like a brother to my husband.
The thing I dislike about about all this representation we're getting now is that a vast majority of the representation is toxic. We're either painted as swingers, which are a completely different community, or we're painted as jealous people who unicorn hunt and establish power dynamics in our relationships that leave one or more people on the outside. The issue keeps feeling like it's monogamous people trying to write polyamorous characters through a monogamous lense. My take is that polyamory and monogamy are a lot like being gay or straight. You can't learn to be one or the other. You can't change yourself. Trying to change a partner or the dynamic of a relationship is not only risky, it can be really damaging to the person being asked to change. When I "went monogamous," it was something I thought I was doing out of love, but I was unsatisfied because that's not how I love. And it ended up being a wonderful coincidence that after my husband tried it out, he realized he was also polyamorous and demisexual.
We do need representation in the media, but we need *the right kind* of representation. Having all our reps break up over the same cookie cutter reason over and over is not representation. At best, every one of these examples are closed swinger triads with unicorns. Toxic through and through, and COMPLETELY oblivious to the cornerstones of polyamory.
it seems some of these writers don't actually understand the concepts of CNM and Relationship Anarchy. i'm poly and bi and the NUMBER ONE THING is COMMUNICATION, and the genuine love you can feel seeing someone you love, love someone else. ALSO its NOT JUST A SEX THING YA'LL it's about unconditional, unrestricted, LOVE. with a knowing that the only thing constant in life is change.
This is very true as a poly lesbian myself. I rlly hate the fact that these representations constsntly show jealous insecure fighting when all of that could be fixed by oh whats the word? TALKING. Real life polyamorous relationships talk out their feelings and emotions to make sure the other wont feel left out. Im so pissed that media portrays only one constant narrative for non-monogamy when theres far more room to explore dynamics.
as someone who is poly they don't portray them well like relationships are complex but not everyone is fighting all the time XD
Let's hope we get better writing soon cause I definitely agree with you
@@Sasu123456789x1 exactly
@@kordayarntson I mean those relationships often don't last long so surely there must be fighting.
@@hawkeyemihawkgettingmoneylord literally in real life heir are tons of families that live long and happy non monogamist lives literally Rome and Greece has non monogamous couples' built into their society also monogamy in this economy chile plz
i’m mono and my partner is poly, i hope in the future media can explore a relationship like mine because there’s next to no information about it on the internet and at the beginning i felt extremely alone. things are better now but we have a long way to go. it wouldn’t be so hard if there was better representation :/
My biggest problem with throuples and poly relationship rep is that they're seen as unsustainable. The throuple usually always breaks up because jealousy or not knowing what they want. But that's literally EVERY relationship. I hope we get a poly relationship in a show that develops, stays together throughout the show, has ups and downs and eventually a poly wedding 💒 🥰🥰🥰
SAME, manifesting. They're most likely show two of the 3 legally getting married, but hopefully there'd be a ceremony for the 3
It is unsustainable lol. Try having kids in a poly relationships. It works when you just having fun but when it's time to settle down it doesn't work.
@@hawkeyemihawkgettingmoneylord
I've known plenty of monogamous couples that fell apart or turned unhappy shortly after having kids for that exact reason. They were young, happy and having fun then someone got pregnant. Being unhappy when settling down is always a risk regardless of how many partners you have.
@@supernaturalawesome1 but let's be real here when there is more than 2 people things get even more complicated. You take 10 people that's are in regular realionship and take 10 people in poly relationships. More people in the regular relationship will last longer you know that.
@@hawkeyemihawkgettingmoneylord
Of course multiple people in a relationship will be more complicated but lasting longer, not necessarily. Recent studies and surveys tell us that more and more people, particularly young people, are loosing interest in getting married and having kids. That's just the ones who identify as monogamous. Whether or not some or all of those 10 people will be happy in a long term relationship depends on the individual. Like all relationships it depends on the effort the people in them are willing to put in to make them last.
There was also a third throuple in Elite. At the end of Season 3, there was a small throuple between Polo, Valerio, and Cayetana. Not sure if it officially classifies as a throuple, but...
I actually think thats the one from elite that most classifies as a throuple😭 the other 2 were mainly sexual and there was a clear main couple between them. Like they weren’t relationships, it was just a sexuak dynamic but the relationships were between 2 characters only. Polo, Valerio, and Cayetana kinda did try to have an actual relationship between them all.
@@valentinafangirling Exactly! The other two was just a threesome sex agreement not an actual relationship.
I feel like that was the best throuple in the show bc they had genuine feelings for each other and didn’t just have sex
Yeah that thouple was official and not just sexual for all of them. But also a group of antagonists
@@kaylakilgore4138 now hold up Valerio was never an antagonist 😭 if anything he was the last straw that pushed Lu to become a better person
I think writers wants to represent non-monogamous relationship, but lack exposure to these type of people. They did the same thing with bisexual and gay representation in the past. On tinder and bumble, I see a quite few people who openly say they are in "ENM" or ethical non-monogamy relationship. An exclusive polyamory would be interesting to pursue, but I would be interested in completely open relationship relationship. I would want to know all the people in the relationship if I ever went down that road.
Malika in Good Trouble has a more mature and in depth story of her polyamory. In her 20s and exploring her polyamory in separate relationships rather than a throuple and she is one of the most likable characters even when she has missteps in this journey neither her nor her love interests are seen as antagonists for being poly. We get to see so much more of her so her sexuality and relationships are not nearly her only storyline. I hope we are able to get more characters and storylines in this realm cuz a lot of poly representation feels very tacky and stigma driven
Ugh I have to get back into good trouble. I haven't watched since like the first maybe second season but I'd love to see at least one show with decent polyamory rep.😫
Came here looking for this comment. I haven't really watch after Maia left the show, but I did get to see Malika's storyline with her exploring polyamorous relationships, and I loved it. I felt it was really refreshing and well excecuted
There was another Freeform show that had a polyamorous throuple called Siren. After that show's cancellation, Good Trouble is their only show I care about now. And man, has that show has always been a mess! Though, now I'm wondering what the show will do for The Fosters' 10th anniversary. 10 YEARS!!!! Where'd the time go? Maia Mitchell was reportedly guest appearing which sounds great!
The throuple in SIREN is my all time favorite. All adults, two women, one guy. The girl and guy are in a healthy established relationship when they meet and befriend a woman. They individualy grow feelings for her and she grows feelings for the both of them. When all three of them realize that they share feelings, they make it official. I think it's well paced over the first season, the tension is emaculate, and there is no drama or angst once they're together. In season two they break up, but its not messy or vengeful. They all remain friends and close and they all love and respect each other throughout.
Yeah sounds like you fell for the internet-myth that polyaomry CAN ever be healthy. But nope. Sorry.
You just fell for a debunked myth.
@@slevinchannel7589 yeah there’s a lot of delusional people in the comments. But they will learn the hard way I guess.
@@SippinTeaaa I'd rather nott wait for that ause thats kinda liak a slotmachine - and insea ask you to flag this video here. Or at least more-sexual more-pervyy other-videos this palttfor has
I'm poly (M) was with (F) & (M). Used to be gay and then Bi and now Pan but me and the guy just started losing touch, wasn't necessarily jealousy there was just a dissconect there, so I left the trio and a few months later the girl left him. Honestly in my opinion it's just like regular relationship, sometimes it works out, other times it doesn't.
you should look into Good Trouble(the sequel for The Fosters) they talk a lot about poly relationships it’s not really a “gen z” show but it’s like young adult/ millennials
love that show
The Fosters are amazing, Good Trouble is good but not as interesting as OG show
But they always had great representation
as a person who was in a poly relationship I think these representations are half good half bad. They really should make it healthier. For example yeah at first it's scary but everyon get used to it and they definitely don't get jealous all the time, but for aki,max and audrey it's constantly happening
one of my favorite examples of 'throuples' is the relationship in the webtoon Muted by Miranda Mundt, which is between three women and is the main romance of the series. They're all incredibly supportive of each other with each of their separate struggles and the scene in the finale where Nyra and Dendro take out Cammile's abusive aunt with the line "we're her girlfriends" is very chefs kiss
Lol yes. In Blood and Water too. Chris, Zama and Mark were consensually hooking up together.
it would be cool to see this kind of relationships start with a stable pair that starts to question things about social constructs and starts having honest conversations and idk reading books about it etc together and then going into it equally curious and open
The first show that I ever saw introduce this dynamic was Siren on Freeform! I've been screaming for this era for a long time as someone who hates love triangles with a passion, and my favorite solution, especially when in fanfiction was always the trouple or poly. I especially just want to see this dynamic explored more in general, cause I've read some interesting stories that tackle this, its messy but worth it.
I fucking loved Siren! It was a bit of a surprise for me when they first introduced it, and that was my first media portrayal of a throuple as well!
As a polyamorous person I really appreciate you understanding that bad representation can be hurtful too
I was kind of surprised to see you didn't mention Rue, Jules and Elliott from Euphoria S2. I'm not sure if they are classed as polyamorous but the show seemed to be aiming at that trope and it seems like something that will be further developed in the next season.
i was hesitant when i first saw this, but you’re 100% right with your points. the representation is definitely skewed, and in my opinion, negative. like, having polyamory represented in media is better than nothing in terms of getting it normalized, but like… it’s not really good representation. it’s like these monogamous older writers are just writing how they *think* a poly relationship would go using their own opinions and experiences, which is a bit of a problem, because they’re monogamous, of course they wouldn’t see a poly relationship being healthy.
No, I'd rather they not give me rep art all, if they're gonna use it for cheap drama or paint it as some weird kink thing.
@@IceQueen975 people aren't stupid we know about poly relationships showing it more doesn't make it any less weird.
Your intros are so funny ong ong 😭😭
this whole thing about "consensual polyamorous relationships" is super problomatic. if it's poly it's consensual. the other thing is just cheating. we can just say polly.
and there is actually really good poly represasntation on good trouble with a charecter that is poly and dates two people at the same time. not a throuple, just poly and that was really great to see and it was actually done right.
I wish they would show any other form of non-monogamy than a triad/throuple at this point. I've been polyam for almost a decade and have only ever been in one triad. It's simply not as common as a lot of other polyam dating types. Would love to see a V setup or even just parallel dating
A really great show with the 3 main characters being polyamourous (or navigating it over time) is Siren. I was so pleasantly surprised when they went that direction instead of a love triangle, and *spoilers* I liked how even when a character ended their relationship with one of the partners, they still understood and supported the other partner staying with them. Such an underrated show
Oh yes I was also surprised that they ended up all being together, and it was actually very cute and loving.
Not necessarily 100% relevant but one of the best "throuple" representations I've seen in media is the movie "Professor Marston and the Wonder Women," directed by Angela Robinson (queen). Everyone should watch like all her movies because they're classics and iconic but Professor Marston is definitely one of the best. It's based on the true story of the guy who created Wonder Woman (and an early lie detector) and his wife and their polyamorous life partner Olive. The movie is also really good at portraying how the two women have their own relationship with each other and it's way more than simply a man with two wives, which I appreciate. Plus it focuses on the role of BDSM in their relationship and how Professor Marston drew inspiration from own relationships with his partners in writing Wonder Woman. The movie is on Hulu and yeah highly recommend.
Most of these examples aren’t throuples tho😭 like in elite carla and the 2 boys weren’t poly it was mostly just sex. Ander and Omar weren’t in a throuple with Patrick, they just had a “pass” to sleep with him and boundaries were crossed which caused conflict and betrayal in the actual couple, with was just Omar and Ander. Like your definition states, there’s no romantic feelings in these relationships, is just a “pass” to be sexual with other people. But the main relationship is still between 2 of them. Same with heartbreak high, it was just a threesome, not a poly relationship.
I agree with all your points though, i just feel like there’s not really a trend with throuples on tv, but rather couples giving each other a pass. Only one thats a throuple is the gossip girl one (from the shows i know), not to say they are the healthiest example but the only one thats an actual relationship.
IM HERE FOR THE ACTIVE ERA YES PLEASE
As someone whose been in multiple poly relationships, tensions rising and break ups happening as a result of jealousy is very accurate. And I think your point about putting monogamy on a pedestal in media is misguided, because the monogamous relationships in these shows are equally messy. The truth is, It doesn't matter if you have 2 people or 20 people in your relationship. It'll crash and burn if partners are insecure and do not know how to manage jealousy. Being jealous isn't bad it's very natural, but polyamory relies on your own ability to navigate jealousy in a healthy way. Monogamy has normalized toxic and controlling behaviors as a way to manage jealousy (snooping thru phones for example), and it only gets messier when you throw even more people into that kind of situation.
Yessssss thank you for doing this vid! I’ve been noticing too and was honestly confused.
This was really great getting to see these all compared in one place and the media trends and directions. There’s a non-high school throuple that was on the SyFy show Siren back in 2018 that seems to go against a lot of the more recent trends, and it’s resolution also felt interestingly nuanced.
I really appreciate your analysis of this. I love that you zeroed in on the common elements and the way those can add up to internalized assumptions. I like that you acknowledge you are not part of this marginalized community but you are able to think critically about the imagery that's being fed to you. Thank you for caring about the media you consume and asking it to meet better standards.
There was also a very short lived throuple in the L word generation Q which is the only adult representation of it I’ve personally ever seen and the trend lived on in there too 😂. Jealously caused it’s demised and yet again it seemed like polyamory was showcased as the “deviation to the norm”, something you do for exploration sakes but sooner or late monogamy prevails
have you seen “you me her?”
Also check out Siren tv show
I really want more poly and aroace representation in media, hoping for a more diverse future 🌈💜💛💚💕
Aroace gang!
I'm seeing a lot of comments praising the "throuple" in the bastard son and the devil himself. A grown man being intimate with a 16 year old boy is not something to praise 🤢
As a gen-zer who is polyamorous and loves a good triad. I wish they have some fun/realistic representation that isn't toxic or leans toward the worse stereotypes/ideas of polyamory
My favorite throuple in media is Veronica Kevin and svetlana in shameless, I liked how they didn’t portray any stereotypes and the only reason the couple ended was because svet broke their trust
Good video, randomly was recommended it and will definitely check out more of your content.
I don't watch any of the shows you talked about, but sounds like they're not doing the best job with showing those relationships. I don't know everything about poly relationships, but I've been in one throuple before and I'm open to it again in the future. Most of my knowledge from it is from online or just hearing friends talk about their experiences with it. I tend to talk to people who have more open relationships and I've always found it interesting
ya know i didn’t watch all of heartbreak high but the fact that girl got with two dudes that her friend had a crush on is fucked up and i know she got trauma but that’s like irredeemable in my eyes
I normally don't watch much TV (time consuming and also I have stricter parents) but most of the throuples I have read about are 3 guys or two guys and one girl. (Would love to find some FxFxF or FxFxM or relationships with some non-binary people thrown in the mix.) Even though 1/5 of Gen Z is open to polyamory, it's still pretty heavily disapproved of where I'm from, to the point where I was called a cheater for having a crush on multiple people. Not even dating multiple people, just crushes. Both my partner and I are open to poly relationships but because of the area we're in it's probably not happening any time soon haha.
I would love to see more diverse and stable poly relationships for people, I think your analysis was pretty spot-on. Great analysis as usual!
Polyam Aroace. Definitely wish to see other types of portrayals of non monogamy :3 Currently in a polyam relationship & had them before. Definitely seen first hand, people who tried to save a relationship by adding me--which I ended because yikes (rather be an observer than a participant for that). As for poly curious people who still have a Monogamous-ish mindset they want the societal perk of monogamy but the one sided perk of open Relationships--so unfaithfulness ain't going away. There's many reasons to seek out polyam relationships but never let insecurity or ignoring your preferred form of love in hopes of keeping someone perf on paper.
Emphasis on Self Love--as you are the love of your life everyone else is an additional happiness.
Just learned about your channel with this video. This is AWESOME!!! You should watch "You Me Her" it's about a married couple that ends up in a poli relationship. One of the most heart warming series i've seen
FINALLY!! someone else has noticed this, this throuple trope has really gotten superr popular
I think the throuple from sense 8 was a pretty good relationship I liked seeing that didn’t end in jealousy
My favorite throuples are the Hex Girls from Scooby Doo and 3 by Britney Spears
The throuple trope we've been waiting for!
its so interesting how representation really reflects and is reflected on real life relationships and interactions because i've never seen any of these shows but i've seen and felt the changing mindset and normalization of poly relationships so much in the past couple of years
Love the video as always but I just gotta say you look so GOOD with that hairstyle❤️
this is a great, and timely vid! i follow several polyam educators and influencers on twitter and instagram and they were having a FIELD day when the gossip girl finale (i think?) premiered a few weekends ago.
i think it's important to have polyam rep but it is telling that so much of it is negative. i'm not sure if it's intentional-as you pointed out, all of the examples you mentioned are high schoolers, and in general teenagers aren't as developed emotionally so of course these relationships would be volatile. one of the most important ingredients necessary for successful polyam relationships is emotional regulation and great communication which, for brain development reasons, teenagers don't tend to be good at a lot of the time. even monogamous relationships tend to be super toxic in media about high schoolers (looking at you, euphoria.)
i think polyam rep would benefit from 1. having more adult characters be polyam 2. showing more diverse relationship structures. a lot of my (queer) friends and community are opening up to polyamory, no pun intended, and i'm almost 26. the first polyam person i ever met was 30, and many of the polyam educators i follow are in their 30s and 40s. it's more common among adults than teenagers IRL. throuples are also a pretty rare structure IRL.
i am also seeing quite a bit of misinformation in some of the comments. polygamy and polyamory are NOT the same. there are also different non-monogamous structures that aren't polyamory (it's like rectangles and squares, all polyamorous relationships are non-monogamous but not all non-monogamous relationships are polyamory.)
i'm still learning about it myself but it's definitely interesting to see representation of consensual non-monogamy, instead of just cheating. as people learn more and polyamory gets more visibility i hope this rep can be more positive in the future!
i'm so surprised no one has mentioned You Me Her! it's not necessarily a teen tv show, but i honestly loved the dynamics created by them (two women and a man), they do end up falling into some of the tropes cited on the video, but there's a lot of dialogue between them to actually make it work
Good Trouble also has (had) a polyamorous couple!
I love to see polyamory being represented but a lot of it feels fetishistic and doesn’t really explore different polyamorous dynamics. It’s also upsetting to hear polyamory being depicted as dysfunctional.
I think the interesting thing about Degrassi's throuple is that the relationship ended due to Esme's mental health issues. If I remember correctly, she was jealous of Maya spending time with Zig so thought bringing Frankie into the relationship would fix it. They were only a throuple for like two or three episodes before breaking up
Another throuple you missed is the two instances of throuples in The Politician - it throuple storyline begins in s2 and they specifically address the fact that Gen Z are fluid and that throuples "play well" with this demographic. The thing that I like about this is that in both the throuples there is a mix of antagonists and protagonists and also that one of the throuples is considerably older(2 in their 60s and one in 40s). Might wanna check it out - it is a little bit of an insane show so be prepared!
I love that there’s more talk about polyamory in current media but I have yet to see one where jealousy isn’t the main problem (or it just being mainly for sex) I hope that in the future there will be more healthy portrayals of poly relationships but at the same time almost all the relationships in teen shows are filled with miscommunication and drama
Seeing max, Audrey, and aki makes me sad the show got canceled just after season 2 smh.
name of the show?
@@paulasosa455 gossip girl reboot on hbo max
Fr
NOO
as always, it's depth that's missing from the relationships. the meaningful bonds rely on depth, no wonder it all hits wrong 🥴
6:14 oh god…bringing a third to fix a relationship is one of the most infamous poly no-no’s….a third is brought on if the couple is stable and a third can make it better
I remember the first throuple I saw on a TV series, it was a Spanish series called "Física o Química", and it was all about the tension between the two men who were previously good friends and how they felt uncomfortable but the woman kept encouraging them. God, it was hot
Don’t forget American horror story coven, Zoe, kyle, and Madison after they revived Kyle with a brand new body. With the hand picked body parts💀
There’s a throuple in The Bastard Son and the Devil Himself! And they are main characters.
I still won't forgive them for canceling this show 😭
It's not that Gen Z wants throuples, it's that Millennials want Gen Z to normalize throuples for Gen Z. That's the really weird part...
I feel like throuples are the logical evolution of the overused love-triangle trope and I'm here for it, even if the representation is FAR from being perfect. As the meme says: why not both?
I don’t know if you’ve watched this show, but I’d say Good Trouble has a pretty good polyamorous character/storyline. It isn’t the normal cookie cutter throuple situation and delves more in to the character’s connection with them being polyamorous and not just one person getting jealous and then splitting up because of it.
Excellent observation and it's good that we're finally seeing that representation matters, even though we have a long way to go. Have you watched "You Me Her"? I find that it offers a more realistic and more positive view of polyamory relationships. Even though it still has some less positive aspects which surely didn't need to happen if people communicated properly, it was for me an enjoyable show.
Im so glad i wanted this a long time ago.
There was also one in hbo’s generation + but it wasn’t sexual. I’m pretty sure they were all straight. The 2 girls just wanted to date the same guy and they were friends so they didn’t want to fight over him so they decided to date him together at the same time which he agreed to. They went on a couple of dates but in the end the guy liked one girl more then the other. Also WINX GOT CANCELED! I’m surprised.
The best on screen example of a throuple relationship that I've seen is in SIREN. Consent is weird and murky because she's a literal Siren and her song manipulates men, but they had great character development outside of being a throuple as well as great communication skills within the relationship and genuinely there seemed to be no jealously in the relationship. They ended because one of the characters moved on from that relationship and pursued another monogamous relationship down the line but it wasn't a comparison or competition or anything and they were still good friends with one another. The show was sadly cancelled though.
I'm all for Polyamorous representation but in its current form, it's doing a minor disservice to bisexual representation, at least in my opinion. It's almost as if the media acts like monogamous bisexuals don't exist, like all bi people want is to be in a relationship with more than one person at the same time simply because they're bi. Idk, it just seems to me that a lot of bisexual characters on television are now almost always in non-monogamous relationships when that's not what bisexuality is about.
no because the way i am starved for poly rep, you think i wanted to watch season 2 of gossip girl? i had no CHOICE, i love aki audrey and max and i really thought they would be IT! sadly there is only one episode left of the show and i think they will end them happily but the season was a bit messy. Like it had good moments, but a lot of clichés. And Please i would love to stop rooting for the bad guys just bc they’re poly lmao 😂. I’m excited for when we get to more diverse poly rep, like not just 3 people in a committed relationship (although i LOVE THAT) but like in she’s gotta have it, where the main character is poly and has like 4 independent partners. Or like in that one soulmates episode. Just give me all the ethical non monogamy i will take it
Love the vid. What do you think of gossip girl being cancelled ?
Good trouble is a great show with poly relationships !!!
I wouldn't consider it good poly rep due to all your points, but I do think it touches on a lot of things that aren't initially discussed to those just discovering non-monogamy. Maintaining any sort of relationship is difficult, especially with the amount of vulnerability and intimacy usually involved with romantic ones between monogamous partners, so it makes sense that changing a previously established dynamic would shake things up even more. It also reflects that most of these writers simply don't understand non-monogamy as well as they think they do. Not every poly relationship is a throuple+, and not every poly person is just a monogamous person who needed to have their life "spiced up" by a sexual revelation. Unfortunately, most writers just doom their non-monogamous relationships because they never saw them as valid to begin with, whether as a relationship or just between the characters, and hey I'm not one for non-monogamy myself but just because it doesn't float my boat doesn't mean I think it's a hopeless endeavor for others.
It also doesn't help that most of these relationships are pretty much always a mono -> poly situation, which while it isn't uncommon also isn't the majority, just like throuples+. It's written by monogamous people for other monogamous people, which means "everyone needs to date everyone, otherwise it's not equal?" It'd be great if we could get more poly relationships between people who were already actively seeking non-monogamous relationships, couples where one partner is poly and one isn't, and couples where both are poly but those partners aren't all dating each other as well.
im learning ab stuart hall in a black pop culture class and his constructionist theory speaks to a lot of what you brought up. representations of non-monogamous relationships really does matter because, like you said, these tropes will inform what media consumers think of these kinds of relationships. nothing you said in this video was a stretch
2 shows with throuples i know are NETFLIX's You, Me and Her and also this British show called Trigonometry
idk why i thought you would be british 😂 good video
I first saw this in Insatiable lol
I don't think shows meant for teenagers need to include topics like throuples but in adult shows it will probably be more nuanced
I had so much hope for the GG throuple after the season 1 finale, and like the season started out okay enough with them working thru each other's insecurities, but like idk I was hoping for them being domestic and fluffy and all we've gotten is bullshit drama after bullshit drama like what a waste of time!!
please could you do a review on alice in borderland! it is such an incredible show, i love your videos and i think it would be great to hear your take on it. lots of love
I've seen a show called Trigonometry, specifically about this topic. I liked it a lot.
I remember in the show The Politician there was one if not two throuples. One of the throuples was with middle aged characters, but both had some of the same traits/stereotypes listed here and at least one ended for the same reasons as the ones mentioned in this video. Like everyone else has already said, I wish they showed more of the nuance of polyamory
As a polyamorous person I really don’t like these portrayals cuz there are so many different types of polyamorous relationship and dynamics. My past partners and I have never broken up with each other out of jealousy either, and I understand that some do but I wish they’d show people breaking up for reasons other than that.
SIREN on Freeform had a decent representation of a throuple I thought.
There was a throuple on SWAT with Chri(F) as the one who brought into an existing M/F relationship. I don’t think any of the people in that one could be considered bad. However, problems arose when the original female partner of the M/F couple felt like she was starting to love Chris more than she loved her guy. Of course, the guy was feeling this too. Chris hated feeling like she was breaking them apart. I’m not exactly sure how it ended, but Chris was no longer in their relationship after some time.
Didn't Chris meet the woman first on a dating app, but only sprung it on Chris that she had a partner? I haven't watched it in years. But I remember one Chris' coworker was so pissy about the relationship.
There's a show called blocco 181
It also has a throuple but there's no conflict of jealousy
I don't know anything about polyamory but trouples are a peaceful stress-free solution to love triangles in tv shows and i never want it to end
In Elite there was also Polo, Cayetana and Valerio
If I had a dollar for every time you talked about Gen Z media omfg
For me, I was always against these types of relationships because it is cheating without the cheating which is proved by storylines that show there is always one person who wants one person in the thruple to him or herself. It creates this competition and domination that does not need to be there.
But agree with comments that there needs to be more variety especially since not every polyamorous relationship (I am guessing) leads to competition and deception from partners involved.
With the divorce rate and prevalence of broken families / single parents as high as it is, it makes sense that this younger generation doesn't know what a healthy family / relationship unit looks like.
Was in the talking stage with a couple, I don’t think I was ready at the time so I opted out
I tried a poly relationship. I originally met the guy and he told me was single, but he really had an on and off gf of like 2 years. I really liked him, so I went through with it for a bit, but it was not emotionally satisfying. I had no romantic feelings for the girl, and as much as I wanted to get along with her, I was jealous of all the more time and attention he gave her, while it felt like I was begging for scraps. While he told me he was okay with me seeing other people, he also didn't, and I felt like what would be the point of being in a relationship with him if I'm just going to end up meeting other people. We all tried to communicate our issues with the relationship, but I ultimately felt my wants/needs were never met, so I eventually decided to stop talking to them. They are still together and still looking for a girl to join their relationship.
Perhaps things could have worked out if the communication and effort were there, but ig we'll never know. Personally, I don't see the hype or appeal in poly beyond sex, but that's so blah. I don't support poly and I'm tired of seeing people promote it
I had a very similar experience to you with a poly relationship. I met him first, didn’t expect anything serious between us to happen until it became that way. Then I found out he was seeing other people and wanted to have a threesome, which I agreed because fuck it. But then he wanted us all to be a thrupple, which ended up like your situation. I was jealous and didn’t really care for her to be in the relationship with us. Ruined my connection with him because it wasn’t exclusive or special. Despite all that, it hurts my heart to not support other people’s polyamory. He was a cheater, poly or mono, he would’ve always been. But people who label themselves and express themselves as poly neeeed that space and acceptance to do so. Or else they’d just be cheaters or people in suppressed relationships (which is why I ended up just leaving the dude because I knew he wasn’t going to change).