The Warning Signs That Love Is TOXIC! - How To Find REAL LOVE | Jay Shetty & Lewis Howes
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- Опубликовано: 2 апр 2023
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I love that, " Everything you want from someone else, give it to yourself first."
This needs to be my new mantra
❤❤I needed to learn this years ago.
Do unto others as you would like others to do unto you
In my point of view there is no toxic love. If its love then its not toxic. And if its toxic then its not love ❤
good point!!! agree.
agree
Brilliant!😂
Thats the point definitely true.
Definitely I feel that i am a toxic person in a relationship but my partner always say that no you are not. I see that i always say don't do that don't go there i feel like controlling her and i feel i am being toxic but she say no do fight with me make rules make boundaries for me its not toxic i don't feel bad because i love you.❤❤❤ Yes there is no toxic where there is love.❤️❤️
Being honest with our partner can be tricky , ive been in relationship where i walked in with total transparency only to reliased later on it was used against me during argument and the worst part was i started doing the same to him just to get back to him. At the end i realize thats not the kind of relationship that i want to continue to be in.
I had such a bad relationship with myself & life at the time of my 5.5 year relationship that it had to come to an end bc I could’ve receive the love that was trying to be given to me & I couldn’t give it back either. It’s been 3 years since being out of the relationship & it has really helped me see why I behave such a way when I am in one. Over these 3 years I’ve transformed the relationship I have with myself, which has helped me see life differently as well, & I can say that breaking up was necessary for my growth, even if it wasn’t what I wanted, deep down I knew the only way was to let the person who was “supposed” to love me go so that I could learn how to love myself, accept & give it.
I am a much better person now & I have lots more self-respect. I haven’t had a solid connection since this relationship, but I’ve never had a better one with myself before.
16:40
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I'm so glad I found this video, just started dating and to introduce vulnerability. I haven't been sure about it, but it's wonderful to know that I can talk about my ongoing healing rather than hide part of myself that I fear being judged about.
Lewis didnt cut out the part that was meant to be cut out where he says dont need to talk about the book
Best response Jay to the question about toxic and conscious love
Bingo! Both people take care of themselves to be the best for themselves to be able to bring their best self to one another. Love it.
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Like Jay said, there's 3 relationships. The one you have with yourself, the one your partner has with themselves and then the relationship you have between the two of you.
You cannot have a strong relationship between the two if either of the people involved aren't taking care of themselves.
Lewis and Jay are two men that I can't help myself from looking upto...thanks to both of you very much for all that you share!
We grew up always hearing I love you.
My kids have heard this from the time that they were babies.
Everytime we talk...we end with I love you.
I discontinue liking a man when he kept saying the dog he loves will be sitting on the passenger seat and the woman he chooses will be at the back. Like, I am also a furmom, but I would not want any person to be more less than animals. We were not compatible in that. Kindness is kindness, but robbing a human soul of the respect they deserve is such cruelty.
Myself first, it is surprising how few people understand love and a healthy relationship.
I can feel the healthy friendship love between these two. I like Jay's statment that we need the world with spiritual people in power. And we all know that,at least,in today's world money equals power. It's like taking a different approach,rather than having a scarcity mentality,like Lewis said, where you are either spiritual and poor or materialistic and rich. Why can't one be both. I join you guys on the path to a society where spirituality and wealth are tightly connected and interchanged. This episode as well as the work of two of you is a clear example of it 👏 ❤PURPOSEful life is also a path of happiness. Thank you,both!🎉
Mind shifter , purpose driven humans making great impact and serving the world with love and humility:) truly grateful
Create boundaries,,healthy rules, make my partner aware of my healing, work on yourself first. Vulnerable, openess, and honesty,my Gosh ,that's it! That is a councious love! I want that tyoe of ❤️. . Now, the worst kind of toxic love is , when they use everything against you after you trusted them with your Vulnerability and openness. 😢 That's not love . That's manipulation.
I m in that spot. Sometimes it takes great people to make a leap. Great people are gold in my life
I can’t wait for future generations to discover these videos.
❤🙏🏼❤️
I needed this. I have difficulty knowing what true love really is.
That's a very interesting point that I always say.
There's a very fine line between CARING AND CONTROLLING.
I thought I was cared about but I was controlled.
For instance: if I went out with friends he would often come to pick me up!
Well sense of caring and then to controlling becomes only in your head as soon as you are becoming weary with the person. It is often seen in female behavior.. it is one's justification for thir falling out of love and now calling caring a controlling behavior. Now I don't say that isn't possible but highly unlikely.
@@777VOID-1 nicely put, but the truth is what you said.kudos
Love and attachment are two different things.
Attachment out of co dependency and past trauma allows room for toxic behaviours.
Alot of us envision life in a certain way, and put the other person in a role that's not suitable for them. Instead of criticism let them know what you want from them.
I feel immense pain on daily basis, I try hard to watch podcasts like this, read books about being present and all that. I still feel the pain. These things help me temporarily but I feel deep hurt inside deep pain and lack of self worth. I cannot avoid this feeling.
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My wife and I are going through a separation after 10 years of being together and 7 years of marriage. The first interview really resonated with me and hit hard. Thanks for you sharing 🙏
Pray that God shine his light upon you both to figure out and have a blessed life.
What was said that spoke to you?! Also, I hope it works out for the best and somehow - the light is reignited.
Any update on your situation?
Every relationship changes you, and not necessarily for the better.
Wow! Thanks for clarifying this. Conscious love is the way to go.
Ummmm😮😮😮
Wao wao😐😐😐😐
Power duo here! Great interview and deep insights! I love Jay and Lewis!
I think love in a relationship has no other definition than true or genuine affection towards each other . Calling it toxic love is because there was no love in the first place but lust and infatuation. That is worldly affection which mirrors itself as true love .
There is a thin line between love and lust. The former is spiritual and soul connects not dependent on fleshly desires but embraces you just the way you are and helps you evolves but the later is tangible and worldly . Its desires are attracted to physical attributes like looks, intelligence, pedigree material stuff etc. Because it is not deep connected, with time begins to wear off and losess its savour. This is when the person begins to repel you and starts becoming toxic because he is desiring more than you've offered .
But love is like old wine, the older and more distilled it gets the better the savour, desires and value. 😊✌
Lewis, the next man that I am with, i hope he has a growth mindset like you. I don't think men today realize how important that is. Thank you for all the hard work and being honest with the world! Your work is amazing!
Loved this, valuable 🦉
I love myself and this is watering my garden 🪴 thank you both 💚
Everyone I have crossed paths with had helped me even if I wasn’t aware at the time. Beautiful acknowledgment I’m learning to add as plant food 💚
You can never make anyone feel anything! Your feelings are your own. You are the only person that can feel your emotions! If you don’t have self respect, awareness and control you’re always looking for it in someone else. (The dark side is you can manipulate the situation/environment it creat whatever, the worst kind of “love”)
Love becomes toxic if you don't have control and reflection.
A “little thing” that can ruin relationships are the small lies, lies about the tiniest things. When exposed most people doing it tend to down size it and make apologies for it, and later they repeat it because it’s “not that bad”
This kills every relationship with time. It took four years for my relationship to really break from this
Jay, wow - hat off! Everything you say just resonates 100%
Lewis- well done for introducing these conversations amongst men too 👏
You're welcome, thank you for watching🧡
8.3 days of being together to consider a great friend!? wow this is mind blowing. Haven't known this, but looking back to my friends I spent almost a year of being present before I consider to be in my inner circle.
Love is a dangerous emotion that gives a different reaction to our behaviour.
I just love these 2 together❤ jays answer to lewis' last question touched me deeply . I had to Pause. I cried and my body felt so Hot. I had so many emotions. I love the chemistry they have❤❤❤❤
A
I like that self care first so that you can take care of your family 🙏
All people you interview are awesome!
Willl love to see Dr John Gray to be interviewed! 🙏👍👍👍❤️
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
So true about toxic love!!!!!!
Excellent conversation between very knowledgeable persons. Love it ❤!!!
From vulnerability comes need for attachment. From here the next step is romance which lasts for more or less than a year. During this year, lots of things can happen, such as cohabitation, pregnancy, financial wrecks resulting in fights, blames, delusion, misunderstanding, emotional gaslighting, all heading towards toxic love. Repair beyond means.
So sad you think like that.
Don't forget it is life, trying to do your best and be honest in the relationship is all you can do, it is not easy, invest all you have in this if you feel you have love there!!
Jay Shetty is a such good listener, I am manifesting to meet and conversation with Jay Shetty🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 Of course I am manifesting to be invited by Lewis Howes podcast soon 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
Wow 😯 this is so eye opening!! Thank you 🙏 for helping me understand where I went wrong and how I can fix my problems.❤
You're welcome, thank you for watching🧡
I’m only 10 mins in & the points are so good & valid. I love Jay Shetty so wise, humbled & knowledge. I can’t wait to purchase his book.
Thank you!
This book came at such a crucial point in my life! Thank you Lewis and Jay!
You're welcome, thank you for watching🧡
I purchased ur 2 books because i find your words so true and interesting
Thank you! Appreciate you and your support. 🧡
Excellent interview, thank you for your great insights! 🤩
You're welcome, thank you for watching🧡
This is so Powerful 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
The two of you have the best interview! I love listening to you two.
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
Oh that is so true!!Years I can't trust and get over fake feeling.Been used.
I love this, purely amazing 🤩 Thank You So Much!
Love it! Take away-3 in a relationship! So truth!!!❤🙏🕉️
Amazing conversation!!
Engaging, informative and great flow. Thank you.
You're welcome, thank you for watching🧡
I love these two beautiful human beings! Will never be tired of listening to you! Continue to spread this energy and wisdom ❤
Love it from the 1st sec - can’t believe it has so low number of views. Crafted in words the rule of healthy life story of 2. Thank you!! ❤❤❤
Wow what a bomb of an interview and intellectual combination of Jay and Lewis!!
Appreciate you and your support🧡
That was a really great interview I loved it !
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
Kindly, would it be possible for the team to add links of the person that is interviewed and give credit? Would be great to have links to Jay podcast and book. I say it respectfully with curiosity. Although I will look Jay up. Thank you so much Lewis and team. ❤
My two favorite podcasters. This is magical, thank you!
Appreciate you and your support🧡
You are both just GREAT!!!! 😀👏👏👏
This is inspiring and crucial....I'm here for it. When is the follow up event in Hawaii ❤️🔥 ie;;; singles healing retreat/ personality tests/ speed dating--matchmaking session👍
I love you two! Thank you!
GREAT content. Thank you for sharing.
You're welcome, thank you for watching🧡
Amazing!!! Expressed in a way that deep penetrates our understanding of relationships. Thank you both!
Brilliantly said 🙏🎯🦋😘
Get your popcorn ready. This one is a great conversation. 🍿👍
GG😅
No masks, inspiring and building something together- wanting to date yourself- putting effort in yourself so u can show up better in relationship
I Love You Guys Jay
Audit on :
Complain
Compare
Criticise
Control
Relationship with self, partner has with themselves and relationship with your partner
I love watching you two together
Thanks for being here!
Thanks for sharing
10:11 I’m currently in this situation but with maintaining friendships. I’m in school and a mom of two and currently in a moving process.
Soo good… wow
Thank you Guys 🙏
"Should we admire people who are wealthy?"
I would then ask "should we look down on people who are poor".... and whatever you answer to the second question is also your answer to the first.
In every relationship there are 3 relationships:
- the one you have with yourselves
- the one your partner with themselves
- the one you have with your partner
❤🙏🏼❤️
Thank you for infinite health infinite wealth an infinite protection for Bella an family an humanity amen 🙏🏼
You guys are Amazing
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
I come a cross this video truly speaking I don’t know how it happens but I clap hands at the end. This is the best interviewer and interviewee I have ever heard.
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
It depends on which way the person is being honest. Its important to clarify that someone can be honest but show no remorse for their actions, but then expect you to be ok with what they are saying just for the fact they are being honest about something they did. Being honest is not enough. If you are going to be honest and say something hurtful, you also need to be prepared to deal with the consequences of the affects of your honesty.
@26:00 I feel like a lot of men share those sentiments when they are in their building phase. The difference is that you SEASONED YOUR WORDS and you added in dept explanation that made it ''digestible'' lol It would be VERY HARD not to RESPECT you on that honesty.
*Nice conversation*
Thank u for this necessary knowledge 💯💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎
You're welcome, thank you for watching🧡
2 of the best humans I've listened to & learned from in my life. Always such great information!! Keep inspiring! 🙏❤
Thanks for being here!
You guys are amazing
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15:00, 16:15 master the skill to remember the 3 relationship you are in.19:00
YES!### I WATER MY LOVE DAILY❤🙏🙏🇺# 🔥🔥
Thank you.
You're welcome,thank you for watching🧡
LOVE is EVERYTHING ❤
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thank you!!!
You're welcome, thank you for watching🧡
"toxic love is where people use a relationship to serve their own needs"?????. As an expert for needs, I can only say: I would love if people really did so... That sentence unfortunately doesn´t make sense, if you really understand needs. love is a need. so you use your relationship to serve" love", "love" for others and "love" for yourself ? That would be lovely, wouldn´t it be? trust is a need. so you use a relationship to serve your need "trust", "trust " in yourself, "trust" in other people, "trust" in humanity? amazing! healing is a need. so you use a relationship to serve your need "healing"? Absolutely fantastic! You would do a huge favour to your partner indeed! that would be an amazing process. serving your needs it´s the healthiest thing you can do. But it is a process of beautiful awareness. Dear Jay Shetty, please do your homework on needs.
YES ... self care in order to serve ❤ our son x
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U-2 R Amazing Trained Minds Through The Holy Spirit. Truly Blessed🙌
Amen🙏
Amen🙏
AMEN🙏
Agree Hanna!
Q&A clearly helped to understand, conscious, love versus toxic!
I am fully engaged in a conversation, and so grateful to you man for being so AUTHENTIC! I had it all wrong. I was backwards with my three!
I love this. Brought so much clarity in an area in my life that I'm struggling with. Thank u so much
Hi I'm English learner and beginner I'm so curious about English learning. so pls help me how to i improve my English communication .
can we get audio format of this
"Love is the fixed intention to do what's best for the greater good..." Djwhal Khul
How it's possible to get the info of the same place that Jay Shetty used to be a monk in India?
Comparison is the thief of joy!
It’s true love sometimes becoming toxic in the end ..😢
What if they don't feel bad about being addicted and basically blame you. basically my only option is to leave him. 😢
Yes, leave graciously
If you really love him Definitely leave. He will not get help or well as long as hes comfortable
@@GirlWarrior144 that's how I'm feeling it's heartbreaking, if he loved me he would have respected my boundaries and our promises in the first place not completely dismissing me and my feelings but I feel I'm in the wrong, he comes back smart mouth saying like your so perfect nothing's wrong with it but that isn't what he said when we got together. It's hard to break up. My feelings are messed with and self esteem. That's only part of it. They cons out way the pros. Just hurt need good real advice objectivity l suppose.
@idelaboutique9367, I know your pain honey, believe me when i tell you I've been there! My first husband was addicted to 6 different things. He was a workaholic but also Alcohol, drugs , pornography and more... And when i would confront him and he put down that addiction, he would just pick up another! It's a disorder and bad coping mechanism that stems from extremely low self-esteem and childhood trauma. You can't help them or fix them... I should have walked away much sooner than I did! he has ruined his health and still hasn't gotten help. After our divorce, He immediately married a different version of me, so he still hasn't faced his demons or received treatment. Don't waste any more time on an addict. You can start over and rebuild a life you love! I did it at 45 yrs old. It wasn't easy, but now that im on the other side, i can tell you, im a better, happier person! Good luck and blessings girl!
Addiction is a disease. Remember this. You can't change someone. They have to want to help themselves.