It's true. Many years ago, as a kid, (I'm in my 70s) I believed that actually I was an alien, switched at birth, and commissioned to study human beings. The trouble was, I felt there was something so different about me . . something so awful and unloveable . . and I couldn't figure out what it was. I had always felt that way. That I was wrong for the job of "acting" the human. I longed for my real parents to come and get me and take me back so I could "belong" somewhere. I have come to accept that feeling over the years. I had come to believe that that feeling came because I am an introvert (sneaky, unlikeable) and everyone I surrounded myself with are extroverts (charming, likeable) who insisted that it is deeply wrong to "isolate" myself. That there is something terribly wrong with someone who would rather stay at home and read than go on a cruise, or attend a party. I can't believe that it took this long to realize that the world is full of people like me .. . . and that we are great and wonderful people, unique, loveable, good people . . . It's like the best present ever . . . I AM OK!
I was very surprised as well Barbara that SO many others have had a life of suffering. It grieves my heart but I thought if I can heal, let the real me come forth, and live a wholehearted life then I know others can too.
I felt like an alien too, and I wondered if there was a planet where kids like me were cool. I tried all my life to be an extrovert to fit in. At 51, I found out I'm autistic through research and tests online. Then I got formally diagnosed, because I'd learned how to fake being "normal" so well that no one believed me. It was such a relief to find out my different ways aren't wrong!
Aww Barbara ... very well said. I still do okay in groups of people but i find that I love (& prefer) being alone or with just my precious husband. After living through those 18 years of "being raised" by very troubled parents, then having a long & demanding career as a health pro, & finally, dealing with two decades of stressors from a very unblended "blended family," I now prefer to just stay home in the MAGNIFICENT joy of peace & quiet. I'm happy, but I dont think I've ever felt like I fit, nor belong on this earth ... & I've felt that way much more through the last 20 years.
I'm only halfway through the video, so this may be coming up, but having to keep secrets is a big one. If there's violence, alcoholism, SA, anything that you have to keep secret, it's so hard to feel free to speak your truth. It automatically sets you apart from other children if you have to hide your experience.
you nailed it, that was my entire childhood. We had to lie about bruises we had on our arms and legs all the time OR wear long sleeves and pants during the Spring when other kids wore shorts and dresses.
Yes I agree and the same goes for having the courage to tell and not be believed by authorities. It sends a message no one can be trusted.Then isolation is the only choice.
@louisecampbell2628 I'm sorry the same thing happened to you and that you were bullied at school & work.😢 I was bullied at school as well. Thank you for your kind words.❤️🩹 I pray we heal from all this pain.
Hi all! I have been out of the country this past 8 days but have been reading all your comments, thank you so much for being here. I am trying not to work on vacation - lol - but I appreciate you being here so much. Much love.💗
My feelings of otherness have caused me so much grief. I’ve actually told myself I wasn’t capable of so many things I wanted to do. I thought other people were able of achieving their goals and everything I want is aiming too high or being me being unrealistic. I know I’m intelligent enough but I function so differently to people around me. I have been through a lot and I feel like it has made me weaker as opposed to stronger. I hope i can make it through this confusing journey called life.
I'm not even done listening to this video, but I have to comment. You have hit on *so many* things that apply to me. So many. But at 8:30, this really spoke to me. I am a creative person. I write poetry and dabble in (and hope to retire working in) arts and crafts. I have *just* been thinking about this lately that I need to find a group of other creatives to mingle with, either online or in real life. My creativity has always been one of my strengths, but because I have worked in the public sector for so long, that part of me has been squelched. I was just so excited to hear you say that about connecting with and meeting others who share hobby interests! Sometimes, it feels like all I do is work, eat, sleep, and try to figure out what's wrong with me. Time to celebrate what's right! What survived, and even thrived, throughout all the chaos! Thank you for this video!! ❤
We are ALL different, upbringing, dysfunctional family 👪, poor family dynamics, trauma, life is a endless series of, tests and trials for us ALL. NAMASTE 🙏
What a fantastic way to start the day; your calm, kind reflections on so many aspects of our lives and what it feels to be "other". I am so grateful to you for these insights. Thankyou.
I find “like minded” women and sometimes men in local specialty Needlepoint Shops. I’m retired and when I go to a “stitch-in” either near my house or on my travels, I fit in like no other group. We naturally mainly talk about the projects we are stitching and the different unique stitches used. Thank you for the work & research you put into the video. Excellent!
I finally realized why Dr's treat me like I'm invisible when I walk in with proof of my impressive scoliosis and my surgeries and how I've worked so hard to handle all of it naturally and without being able to take pain medication because of my digestion. I act like I'm regular, not in chronic pain and exhaustion. It's a life long learned skill and couldn't act any other way.
That suggest to me you have super human capabilities😅. I’m a wimp with a non existent pain tolerance level and even if I scream and cry , unless I’m bleeding profusely , even my own mother won’t realize how sick I really am. I never look sick even when I’m probably dying. But you , you just seem to have so much courage inspite of what you’re going thru and that my friend is an awesome gift. God bless you.
@@marjorieferrer9520 First of all Big Hugs 🤗 and thank you. I am in my fifties and no contact for 28years with my mother. That's the only way out of the insanity is away....fae far far away from them. In all that time I have had a slow complete change in my life decisions and people in my life. At first the loneliness is gigantic! Without their toxicity running thru our minds, we first take about 4 years of disassociation and then our brain can start healing from the.m. 🌈 💜 🌈 💜 🌈 Maybe read UNTAMED by Glennon Doyle or something similar . That book changed my life. I do audiobooks.
As someone with scoliosis, my sympathies for what you've been through. My father was negligent about treatment for scoliosis. Though now I'm glad I didn't have surgery. He was an abusive jerk and didn't want to be a parent after my mom died. I believe that my scoliosis was due to childhood trauma - physical, emotional, and sexual abuse.
@@mindkindmom Biggest hugs and soo proud of you for getting thru that. I also had impressive abuse mentally and physically. My scoliosis is birth defect due to my mother trying to losee whole pregnant by not eating..
Hi Kim . . . I have a lifetime history of living with trauma, not knowing what is wrong with me. Then ended up going for counseling, during which I discovered that many of the counselors aren't even qualified to deal with accurately identifying the root cause of your specific trauma. Consequently I started my own research journey of 6 years now, and finally ended up with you and your work, which has given tremendous deapth of clarity regarding various possibilities when it comes to the root issue that is at play in the individual's life. Im very grateful for your work and what I have learnt binge watching many of your online videos. Thank you so much for your willingness to share your knowledge so freely and so extensively on this platform. My question is this . . . What, if any, sign or indication, will clearly reveal a distinct point of turning towards actually healing, since I feel like I know and understand so much information and even apply the techniques, but yet, it is as if my energy levels never surface and I seem to not get any traction on really feeling alive again. I feel like I cant identify a true tipping point where I can sense at an emotional level that things are now changing direction and that Im actually getting the victory that I have been desperately seeking for so long. I hope you find this question as I am eagerly awaiting your response. Kind Regards Johan 🫶🏻🙏🏻
God bless you Dr Sage! How on earth do we do unravel all the layers of otherness and alienation? I find myself sad and hopeless most of the time - because I really, really don't know who I am. Aside from a pool of scattered gifts, skills and weaknesses :(
Wow, this is truly remarkable! I must admit, I have never been particularly fond of my extended family. They tend to indulge in excessive drinking and lack intellectual curiosity. Moreover, I grew up in a less-than-ideal town surrounded by individuals who married within their own circle. I never felt comfortable wit these folks. Thankful to hear someone actually talking about this.
I've been thru SO much trauma in my life and always thought of myself in this way of being different, not fitting in, being a failure... etc and now finally at 64 I'm longing for change, I'm longing to really know who I am and to love who I am and your videos, you, are helping me in that, so thank you. 😊
Wow. This really hits home. I went through all the things you mentioned, plus being a closeted LGBTQ+ teen in the 70's whose family attended an extremely repressive church and sent me through conversion "therapy," having untreated bipolar disorder from age 11 which was ignored by my mom and considered shameful by society, being a parentified child, having bulimia and body dysmorphia, and (this sounds like bragging, but I don't mean it that way, because IQ is a ridiculous measure of a person's worth) an IQ in the 150's, something that was mocked by many of my peers. I was also discouraged from following my dreams when I was young in favor of a "stable" and "respectable" career. I was also raised to be ashamed of my blue collar origins and the cultural heritage of my immigrant family in favor of being a "perfect American.""
Wow, you tick all the Categories. And, here, I felt different and isolated. I hope some groupings merged for you, to minimize that array. No doubt, it made just getting through adolescence pretty difficult and challenging. I hope you're doing well, now.
After that many years you’re suppose to be able to move forward and help yourself and stop blaming the past because before we are born we were given gifts by the Lord and it’s up to you to find and learn how to use those gifts. Some people are lucky to have parents who were good to them but people like us need to learn to do it ourselves. Just use your God given sense of right or wrong and find your light and hopefully, eventually, your light will help brighten the path for others. Find God and you’ll find your light and believe me yours might be the brightest one of all.
Ill never forget my work peer asking me what it feels like to be depressed 😢😢 we were both turning 50 the year she asked me this. I wanted to cry. I realized at 50 that I really was different from other people. Once I knew this, I could work through it. At first I felt blind sided then relieved. I'm different. I'm considered weird. Im learning to accept this. 😂"laughter through tears is my favourite emotion!" *Dolly Patner. Thank you!😂This is very helpful.
Hi I'm from the UK I've always felt I wasn't from here . I have eupd bpd but with complex trauma im now I my 50s and still feeling the same since I was a young child . And still on medication but still struggling to understand what I'm here for
Thanks Dr.. Sage. Very interesting. One thing to look into/consider for you and your audience may be the prevalence of people like us that have Rh negative blood with these symptoms/traits. Fascinating...
I'm glad someone else finally addressed this. I have my father's Rh negative blood and while I didn't have him in my life, I later learned he was also quite the alien in his life too. The commonalities we had were shocking, considering I never knew him until my 30s. My blood positive family seem so foreign to me. Zero empathy, insensitive, none of my health issues. And again, my father shared those with me. It's odd that a blood group no one seems to be able to explain the origin of is just blown off as not worth researching.
I've always had a harsh inner critic, but I took it as a strength, an inner slavedriver keeping me on task. People will tell me I'm very hard on myself & my response has usually been to wonder why they aren't the same. My concern with researching neurodivergence would be that I might misapply something in my rush for understanding. It would be like the guy who goes to Web MD with a tummy ache & convinces himself he has cancer.
Hi Dr. Sage, can you do something on cptsd and how it relates to abandonment and parents that suicide. I am a survivor of parents that commited suicide. Dad, I was 15 and Mother, I was 26. There is so much more to my story but this is the topic I am interested in right now.
No comment on your experience, just encouragement that I feel/think this therapist connects. Good luck on your journey, wishing you strength and success.
Hi Colleen - i am so sorry, and yes, I will work on it this next month. I lost my father that way as well.....it's a bit close to home ( and i have a complicated story too) so it may take me a bit, but I think it would be helpful. Sending love.🙏
I was actually angry with my neglectful parents for most of my life cause I felt they didn’t teach me something basic that everyone else’s parents must have taught their kids socially. I just didn’t understand how people were able to socialize and know what to say next. I tried so hard to figure out what the missing thing was thinking I could make up for what I had missed out on cause people said the treatment my parents gave me wasn’t my fault but how I handled myself as an adult was my fault. So I shifted that anger to myself. Turns out I have adhd and autism
Often as cptsd we are not knowledgeable of prosocial ways of interacting. Unfortunately there's rarely a good outcome for changing who we frequent and locations because we carry those attitudes based on fear and distrust with us.
Growing up, my mother always asked "whats wrong with you" and always said "do you even have any friends?" Along with asking if i was the fattest kid in school. She was borderline, and it messed me up so bad. Even now, i hear her telling me that i destroy everything.
Oh, yeah...being the only divorced one, in a group that is all couples. Suddenly, every woman in the room is convinced that you want HER man. And every man in the room is convinced that you think HE'S God's Gift. Just back away slowly, with smiles and plausible excuses.
The way my autistic, traumatized ass has been called an alien my whole life 😂😂😂 You're right though. The right people will love everything about you, especially the alien parts. There are people who will celebrate who you are, not just tolerate 💚
I gave up talking to humans a long time ago. I have to talk to them for work, so I can keep a roof over my head. But other than that they don't talk to me and I don't talk to them.
It is still quite difficult that you have c-PTSD because you have been sexually abused when you are a man;in therapy, being a victim means you are a woman, if you are a man, you are a predator. "You have to understand that you can not participate to a group therapy, it could be disturbing for the ladies of the group." And I understand. Only, that understanding seems to be a one way road; sees that you can be a man, or a victim...not both. Thank you, doctor, for what you do.
Whoever told you that is outright wrong. Do not believe what they said bc that’s absurd. Being a man dies. It erase what happened to you. Being a man does not make you a predator. Don’t believe that for a second.
Oh I really wished I found my solution or that I related to other situations like people in the comments but it seems I couldn't find a connection. I suppose I will keep searching, maybe one day I'll find someone similar with thoughts I could share, or maybe not.. but I'm not going to stop.
some people are just different , im always logical and i think im different , its true all of that (our mindsets) a result from a mix of our genes and the experience we collected from day 1 until death
I used to think that I must be like other people, most people are. But really, I'm not. I'm outside. I grew up lonely, and I'll die lonely. And that's OK, I don't want to be distracted by some Narky a**hole at the last moment of my life.
I can't seem to find my place, I don't fit. Always been picked on from school days. Now an adult, same thing at work. I need to find people who are like me. I feel
In my personal experience you're better off living in a big cosmopolitan city like New York (Manhattan specifically) ....if you can afford it, of course ....if you're on the spectrum or whatever. You're more apt to find more diverse, open-minded and tolerant people who will accept you for being 'different' in such a place. It's a LOT harder in some "redneck-y" small town environment where everybody's terrified to act different.. I'm speaking from personal experience here. Having lived in both types of environments.
Dear Dr. Sage, it seems to be about a 50/50 ET (Love or)Leave stranded senario towards Mr. Jerald T Jaybird cosmos traveler. Thanks for helping us all. Perhaps NASA will some day find a way to return us to Father God astroid of mega most entirety : )
I'm trapped in my situation with my abusive wife. I have begged her to get therapy over decades, but she refuses. I'm mentally exhausted, drained of possibilities by money sabotage! She's kept any hope I could think of in a constant state of uncertainty! Last night, she came after me for supporting our nonbinary granddaughter. She's a raving GC! A cult bigot! This is her newest abuse. I've been sabotaged for decades. I couldn't find my strength all these decades and when therapy finally worked; too late. Now, I'm constantly in knots and back to fight or flight with her. My biggest trigger. She's all the worst for me and extraction is an immense obstacle course! I have housing code issues with the city. And there's no negotiating that. I don't have money to flee. My mental state is again near its lowest ever. My energy sapped. I'm sorry I complain here more than support. It's that these topics are me and I'm in no position nor have any capabilities to fix these. I hear clearly what could be. That causes so much grieving I'm an emotional mess. This and other posts like it are a cry for help that's not coming. There's no safety nets out here for men, I checked into that after a year of therapy. I thought I could try to leave for a third time?! I couldn't. Screaming at me to pull myself together isn't going to be taken well. So if that's going to happen? I don't know how to think about that? Kindness is so rare, talking in real life rarer, my isolation feels like solitary. I'm sorry. Breathing.
Different from who, we are all different but if you are hanging with idiots you will feel different, i know what she is saying though, i have been through mill, i am a loner now, there are a lot of dodos out there so be careful, you don't wanna be like these humans!❤😂😂😂😂
Thank you for making this video! The "othering" of yourself takes a toll on your body as well as your mental well-being -- this also has various other circumstances feeding into it (such as the trauma, physical/mental health, and developmental differences that are mentioned in this video). It's never easy to navigate through the healing journey or making connections and learning how to ground oneself. ❤🩹
It's true. Many years ago, as a kid, (I'm in my 70s) I believed that actually I was an alien, switched at birth, and commissioned to study human beings. The trouble was, I felt there was something so different about me . . something so awful and unloveable . . and I couldn't figure out what it was. I had always felt that way. That I was wrong for the job of "acting" the human. I longed for my real parents to come and get me and take me back so I could "belong" somewhere. I have come to accept that feeling over the years. I had come to believe that that feeling came because I am an introvert (sneaky, unlikeable) and everyone I surrounded myself with are extroverts (charming, likeable) who insisted that it is deeply wrong to "isolate" myself. That there is something terribly wrong with someone who would rather stay at home and read than go on a cruise, or attend a party. I can't believe that it took this long to realize that the world is full of people like me .. . . and that we are great and wonderful people, unique, loveable, good people . . . It's like the best present ever . . . I AM OK!
I was very surprised as well Barbara that SO many others have had a life of suffering. It grieves my heart but I thought if I can heal, let the real me come forth, and live a wholehearted life then I know others can too.
Great comment! Good for you! Can relate in my 50s.
I felt like an alien too, and I wondered if there was a planet where kids like me were cool. I tried all my life to be an extrovert to fit in. At 51, I found out I'm autistic through research and tests online. Then I got formally diagnosed, because I'd learned how to fake being "normal" so well that no one believed me. It was such a relief to find out my different ways aren't wrong!
Aww Barbara ... very well said. I still do okay in groups of people but i find that I love (& prefer) being alone or with just my precious husband. After living through those 18 years of "being raised" by very troubled parents, then having a long & demanding career as a health pro, & finally, dealing with two decades of stressors from a very unblended "blended family," I now prefer to just stay home in the MAGNIFICENT joy of peace & quiet. I'm happy, but I dont think I've ever felt like I fit, nor belong on this earth ... & I've felt that way much more through the last 20 years.
Yes we are!I came across Dr Kim quite by accident and am so very grateful!🎈♥️
Good morning y’all! ❤my fellow aliens ❤
❤
Good afternoon 🖖👽
👽
Morning!!!!
Good morning 😊
I'm only halfway through the video, so this may be coming up, but having to keep secrets is a big one. If there's violence, alcoholism, SA, anything that you have to keep secret, it's so hard to feel free to speak your truth. It automatically sets you apart from other children if you have to hide your experience.
Exactly
you nailed it, that was my entire childhood. We had to lie about bruises we had on our arms and legs all the time OR wear long sleeves and pants during the Spring when other kids wore shorts and dresses.
Yes I agree and the same goes for having the courage to tell and not be believed by authorities. It sends a message no one can be trusted.Then isolation is the only choice.
I felt as a kid, I was with the wrong family...having a mother & older brother bullying me all the time. I felt unlikable...different...still do!
Same happened to me. Sooo sorry that happened to you also 😢. I was also bullied at school and work
@louisecampbell2628 I'm sorry the same thing happened to you and that you were bullied at school & work.😢 I was bullied at school as well. Thank you for your kind words.❤️🩹 I pray we heal from all this pain.
Hi all! I have been out of the country this past 8 days but have been reading all your comments, thank you so much for being here. I am trying not to work on vacation - lol - but I appreciate you being here so much. Much love.💗
I have actually said “ If I find out that I am an alien- it would all make sense…”
So glad I found your channel. It’s impossible to get the right support for CPTSD when you don’t have the finances and all this info is so important.
I heard the term soul murder and thats exactly what it feels like. Its sickening
My feelings of otherness have caused me so much grief. I’ve actually told myself I wasn’t capable of so many things I wanted to do. I thought other people were able of achieving their goals and everything I want is aiming too high or being me being unrealistic. I know I’m intelligent enough but I function so differently to people around me. I have been through a lot and I feel like it has made me weaker as opposed to stronger.
I hope i can make it through this confusing journey called life.
my heart 😢 you are so much more capeable than you think ❤
@@Alesanascreamokid how kind of you ♥️♥️♥️
Thank you so much
I'm not even done listening to this video, but I have to comment. You have hit on *so many* things that apply to me. So many. But at 8:30, this really spoke to me. I am a creative person. I write poetry and dabble in (and hope to retire working in) arts and crafts. I have *just* been thinking about this lately that I need to find a group of other creatives to mingle with, either online or in real life. My creativity has always been one of my strengths, but because I have worked in the public sector for so long, that part of me has been squelched. I was just so excited to hear you say that about connecting with and meeting others who share hobby interests! Sometimes, it feels like all I do is work, eat, sleep, and try to figure out what's wrong with me. Time to celebrate what's right! What survived, and even thrived, throughout all the chaos! Thank you for this video!! ❤
I love this comment. Thank you.
I always felt i was adopted, now i realize it was due to the rejection and negligence of my parents...
I beat myself up all the time, working on it and I'm 60 yo.
Your deep dive into autism has taken me along. I always felt different and now I've found my tribe!
Since I treat myself as if I am diagnosed with what I think I may have, I feel lighter and so much more confident.
That's a very interesting approach! Insightful & so smart. I'm gonna try that. Thank you.
We are ALL different, upbringing, dysfunctional family 👪, poor family dynamics, trauma, life is a endless series of, tests and trials for us ALL. NAMASTE 🙏
What a fantastic way to start the day; your calm, kind reflections on so many aspects of our lives and what it feels to be "other". I am so grateful to you for these insights. Thankyou.
I find “like minded” women and sometimes men in local specialty Needlepoint Shops. I’m retired and when I go to a “stitch-in” either near my house or on my travels, I fit in like no other group. We naturally mainly talk about the projects we are stitching and the different unique stitches used. Thank you for the work & research you put into the video. Excellent!
I finally realized why Dr's treat me like I'm invisible when I walk in with proof of my impressive scoliosis and my surgeries and how I've worked so hard to handle all of it naturally and without being able to take pain medication because of my digestion. I act like I'm regular, not in chronic pain and exhaustion. It's a life long learned skill and couldn't act any other way.
That suggest to me you have super human capabilities😅. I’m a wimp with a non existent pain tolerance level and even if I scream and cry , unless I’m bleeding profusely , even my own mother won’t realize how sick I really am. I never look sick even when I’m probably dying. But you , you just seem to have so much courage inspite of what you’re going thru and that my friend is an awesome gift. God bless you.
@@marjorieferrer9520 First of all Big Hugs 🤗 and thank you.
I am in my fifties and no contact for 28years with my mother. That's the only way out of the insanity is away....fae far far away from them. In all that time I have had a slow complete change in my life decisions and people in my life.
At first the loneliness is gigantic!
Without their toxicity running thru our minds, we first take about 4 years of disassociation and then our brain can start healing from the.m.
🌈 💜 🌈 💜 🌈
Maybe read UNTAMED by Glennon Doyle or something similar . That book changed my life. I do audiobooks.
As someone with scoliosis, my sympathies for what you've been through. My father was negligent about treatment for scoliosis. Though now I'm glad I didn't have surgery. He was an abusive jerk and didn't want to be a parent after my mom died. I believe that my scoliosis was due to childhood trauma - physical, emotional, and sexual abuse.
@@mindkindmom Biggest hugs and soo proud of you for getting thru that.
I also had impressive abuse mentally and physically. My scoliosis is birth defect due to my mother trying to losee whole pregnant by not eating..
@@jooliagoolia9959 Hugs to you too. you're brave and beautiful.
Thank God I’m not the only alien on this planet!
Hi Kim . . . I have a lifetime history of living with trauma, not knowing what is wrong with me. Then ended up going for counseling, during which I discovered that many of the counselors aren't even qualified to deal with accurately identifying the root cause of your specific trauma. Consequently I started my own research journey of 6 years now, and finally ended up with you and your work, which has given tremendous deapth of clarity regarding various possibilities when it comes to the root issue that is at play in the individual's life. Im very grateful for your work and what I have learnt binge watching many of your online videos. Thank you so much for your willingness to share your knowledge so freely and so extensively on this platform. My question is this . . . What, if any, sign or indication, will clearly reveal a distinct point of turning towards actually healing, since I feel like I know and understand so much information and even apply the techniques, but yet, it is as if my energy levels never surface and I seem to not get any traction on really feeling alive again. I feel like I cant identify a true tipping point where I can sense at an emotional level that things are now changing direction and that Im actually getting the victory that I have been desperately seeking for so long. I hope you find this question as I am eagerly awaiting your response. Kind Regards
Johan 🫶🏻🙏🏻
God bless you Dr Sage! How on earth do we do unravel all the layers of otherness and alienation? I find myself sad and hopeless most of the time - because I really, really don't know who I am. Aside from a pool of scattered gifts, skills and weaknesses :(
Same here. I am picking, though, that some of the things you consider weaknesses really aren't at all. You're not alone.
@@kyleethekelt Thank you so much - God bless you
This rings like a bell too me I spent 8 yrs in therapy & still living with this mentalillness
Wow, this is truly remarkable! I must admit, I have never been particularly fond of my extended family. They tend to indulge in excessive drinking and lack intellectual curiosity. Moreover, I grew up in a less-than-ideal town surrounded by individuals who married within their own circle. I never felt comfortable wit these folks. Thankful to hear someone actually talking about this.
Yep, that’s my story. Never fit in.
Hi alliens! I've always been called " special", different" even exotic😅😅
I've been thru SO much trauma in my life and always thought of myself in this way of being different, not fitting in, being a failure... etc and now finally at 64 I'm longing for change, I'm longing to really know who I am and to love who I am and your videos, you, are helping me in that, so thank you. 😊
I hope you the best. It's what I'm trying to do too. ❤
I totally love your channel.
Wow. This really hits home. I went through all the things you mentioned, plus being a closeted LGBTQ+ teen in the 70's whose family attended an extremely repressive church and sent me through conversion "therapy," having untreated bipolar disorder from age 11 which was ignored by my mom and considered shameful by society, being a parentified child, having bulimia and body dysmorphia, and (this sounds like bragging, but I don't mean it that way, because IQ is a ridiculous measure of a person's worth) an IQ in the 150's, something that was mocked by many of my peers. I was also discouraged from following my dreams when I was young in favor of a "stable" and "respectable" career. I was also raised to be ashamed of my blue collar origins and the cultural heritage of my immigrant family in favor of being a "perfect American.""
Wow, you tick all the Categories. And, here, I felt different and isolated.
I hope some groupings merged for you, to minimize that array. No doubt, it made just getting through adolescence pretty difficult and challenging.
I hope you're doing well, now.
Just finished. Cannot like this video enough!!
Was totally distracted by the sound of doggie toenails on the floor, trotting around, lol. I love that sound! 😂
I actually had a teacher when I was 11 years old that called me "an alien" in front of all the class. so. ha.
Yes I 😊feel just like that, I feel like I'm from another planet.
I have felt that way since I was 7 years old . Thank you so much for this video shining some light on the subject and in my life today .
Family is the worst. Hugs, dear, I grasp your hand.
Perfect video right now for me as I’m struggling with a few things
Glad it helped. I wish you well on your Journey ✨🦋
I still relive and agonise over a lifetime of mistakes and poor choices and Im in my 70s Parents, spouces and adult children created the cptsd
After that many years you’re suppose to be able to move forward and help yourself and stop blaming the past because before we are born we were given gifts by the Lord and it’s up to you to find and learn how to use those gifts. Some people are lucky to have parents who were good to them but people like us need to learn to do it ourselves. Just use your God given sense of right or wrong and find your light and hopefully, eventually, your light will help brighten the path for others. Find God and you’ll find your light and believe me yours might be the brightest one of all.
Ill never forget my work peer asking me what it feels like to be depressed 😢😢 we were both turning 50 the year she asked me this. I wanted to cry. I realized at 50 that I really was different from other people.
Once I knew this, I could work through it.
At first I felt blind sided then relieved.
I'm different. I'm considered weird. Im learning to accept this.
😂"laughter through tears is my favourite emotion!" *Dolly Patner.
Thank you!😂This is very helpful.
Hi I'm from the UK I've always felt I wasn't from here . I have eupd bpd but with complex trauma im now I my 50s and still feeling the same since I was a young child . And still on medication but still struggling to understand what I'm here for
Definetly unique , trauma hasnt helped working on it. ❤
So interesting and enlightening. And I’m already in love with Kim 😮
Thanks Dr.. Sage. Very interesting. One thing to look into/consider for you and your audience may be the prevalence of people like us that have Rh negative blood with these symptoms/traits. Fascinating...
Fellow Canadian here. I’m also RH neg and find your comment really interesting. I wonder if there is something to it.
I'm glad someone else finally addressed this. I have my father's Rh negative blood and while I didn't have him in my life, I later learned he was also quite the alien in his life too. The commonalities we had were shocking, considering I never knew him until my 30s. My blood positive family seem so foreign to me. Zero empathy, insensitive, none of my health issues. And again, my father shared those with me. It's odd that a blood group no one seems to be able to explain the origin of is just blown off as not worth researching.
I’m Rhesus negative too
I've always had a harsh inner critic, but I took it as a strength, an inner slavedriver keeping me on task. People will tell me I'm very hard on myself & my response has usually been to wonder why they aren't the same.
My concern with researching neurodivergence would be that I might misapply something in my rush for understanding. It would be like the guy who goes to Web MD with a tummy ache & convinces himself he has cancer.
Hi Dr. Sage, can you do something on cptsd and how it relates to abandonment and parents that suicide. I am a survivor of parents that commited suicide. Dad, I was 15 and Mother, I was 26. There is so much more to my story but this is the topic I am interested in right now.
No comment on your experience, just encouragement that I feel/think this therapist connects. Good luck on your journey, wishing you strength and success.
Hi Colleen - i am so sorry, and yes, I will work on it this next month. I lost my father that way as well.....it's a bit close to home ( and i have a complicated story too) so it may take me a bit, but I think it would be helpful. Sending love.🙏
I was actually angry with my neglectful parents for most of my life cause I felt they didn’t teach me something basic that everyone else’s parents must have taught their kids socially. I just didn’t understand how people were able to socialize and know what to say next. I tried so hard to figure out what the missing thing was thinking I could make up for what I had missed out on cause people said the treatment my parents gave me wasn’t my fault but how I handled myself as an adult was my fault. So I shifted that anger to myself.
Turns out I have adhd and autism
This video was so useful for me to get a deeper insight. Thank you.
This just what I needed to learn
Often as cptsd we are not knowledgeable of prosocial ways of interacting. Unfortunately there's rarely a good outcome for changing who we frequent and locations because we carry those attitudes based on fear and distrust with us.
i always feel cared for when i watch your videos :)❤
Okay, so summing up. You feel different because you are actually ... different. But, you know, that's okay. You are a loveöy person the way you are.
Growing up, my mother always asked "whats wrong with you" and always said "do you even have any friends?" Along with asking if i was the fattest kid in school. She was borderline, and it messed me up so bad. Even now, i hear her telling me that i destroy everything.
Thankyou Kim that was really helpful ❤
I think EVERY way we feel is CAUSED by conditions around us
Trauma. Kept playing it out in marriage. I felt I was born in the wrong family my whole life. I'm a therapist and actually help people ❤️
I’m weird on purpose since at least the early 2000s!😂
Oh, yeah...being the only divorced one,
in a group that is all couples.
Suddenly, every woman in the room is convinced that you want HER man.
And every man in the room is convinced that you think HE'S God's Gift.
Just back away slowly,
with smiles and plausible excuses.
I 100% truly believed I was an alien as a child. I knew they would come back for me. I would sit up at night watching my window for their return 😅
I think some of this is well captured is song Burning Bridges - From Kelly's Heros movie by Mike Curb Congregation. Essentially story of my life.
The way my autistic, traumatized ass has been called an alien my whole life 😂😂😂
You're right though. The right people will love everything about you, especially the alien parts.
There are people who will celebrate who you are, not just tolerate 💚
I feel this way big time !!!!!
I gave up talking to humans a long time ago. I have to talk to them for work, so I can keep a roof over my head. But other than that they don't talk to me and I don't talk to them.
Thank you.
It is still quite difficult that you have c-PTSD because you have been sexually abused when you are a man;in therapy, being a victim means you are a woman, if you are a man, you are a predator. "You have to understand that you can not participate to a group therapy, it could be disturbing for the ladies of the group." And I understand. Only, that understanding seems to be a one way road; sees that you can be a man, or a victim...not both. Thank you, doctor, for what you do.
Whoever told you that is outright wrong. Do not believe what they said bc that’s absurd. Being a man dies. It erase what happened to you. Being a man does not make you a predator. Don’t believe that for a second.
Oh I really wished I found my solution or that I related to other situations like people in the comments but it seems I couldn't find a connection. I suppose I will keep searching, maybe one day I'll find someone similar with thoughts I could share, or maybe not.. but I'm not going to stop.
some people are just different , im always logical and i think im different , its true all of that (our mindsets) a result from a mix of our genes and the experience we collected from day 1 until death
I used to think that I must be like other people, most people are.
But really, I'm not. I'm outside.
I grew up lonely, and I'll die lonely. And that's OK, I don't want to be distracted by some Narky a**hole at the last moment of my life.
maybe not alien but more like i have been sucked into a parallel universe, where up is down, good is bad and white is black🤔
I can't seem to find my place, I don't fit. Always been picked on from school days. Now an adult, same thing at work. I need to find people who are like me. I feel
In my personal experience you're better off living in a big cosmopolitan city like New York (Manhattan specifically) ....if you can afford it, of course ....if you're on the spectrum or whatever. You're more apt to find more diverse, open-minded and tolerant people who will accept you for being 'different' in such a place. It's a LOT harder in some "redneck-y" small town environment where everybody's terrified to act different.. I'm speaking from personal experience here. Having lived in both types of environments.
do not leave out RH negative B I feel like I do not belong , like I watch people from far , like an island [ I had very good family , no trauma ]
Dear Dr. Sage, it seems to be about a 50/50 ET (Love or)Leave stranded senario towards Mr. Jerald T Jaybird cosmos traveler.
Thanks for helping us all. Perhaps NASA will some day find a way to return us to Father God astroid of mega most entirety : )
Different is bad. It sucks.
I would like to join the Alien Club🐼🐳🐾💮
I think I’m just eccentric.
I'm trapped in my situation with my abusive wife. I have begged her to get therapy over decades, but she refuses.
I'm mentally exhausted, drained of possibilities by money sabotage! She's kept any hope I could think of in a constant state of uncertainty!
Last night, she came after me for supporting our nonbinary granddaughter. She's a raving GC! A cult bigot! This is her newest abuse. I've been sabotaged for decades. I couldn't find my strength all these decades and when therapy finally worked; too late.
Now, I'm constantly in knots and back to fight or flight with her. My biggest trigger. She's all the worst for me and extraction is an immense obstacle course!
I have housing code issues with the city. And there's no negotiating that. I don't have money to flee. My mental state is again near its lowest ever. My energy sapped.
I'm sorry I complain here more than support. It's that these topics are me and I'm in no position nor have any capabilities to fix these. I hear clearly what could be. That causes so much grieving I'm an emotional mess.
This and other posts like it are a cry for help that's not coming. There's no safety nets out here for men, I checked into that after a year of therapy. I thought I could try to leave for a third time?! I couldn't.
Screaming at me to pull myself together isn't going to be taken well. So if that's going to happen? I don't know how to think about that? Kindness is so rare, talking in real life rarer, my isolation feels like solitary.
I'm sorry.
Breathing.
Omg. So sorry. Keep breathing. Make a step game plan. I know men have it different. I'm a woman so I got out but hope you can figure it out.
🙏🏻 Keep breathing, take in the moment. So sorry.
Nonbinary granddaughter?
❤️ 🙏
💜💜💜
Thanks💓
🙏🏻
Different from who, we are all different but if you are hanging with idiots you will feel different, i know what she is saying though, i have been through mill, i am a loner now, there are a lot of dodos out there so be careful, you don't wanna be like these humans!❤😂😂😂😂
Thank you for making this video! The "othering" of yourself takes a toll on your body as well as your mental well-being -- this also has various other circumstances feeding into it (such as the trauma, physical/mental health, and developmental differences that are mentioned in this video). It's never easy to navigate through the healing journey or making connections and learning how to ground oneself. ❤🩹