I spent a month in the Philippines recently and got a feel for exactly what you are talking about. The noise pollution is out of control. I wanted to retire there but now I'm having serious second thoughts.
You are smart Philippines is only to visit specific areas and get a partner but not leaving there. I am going out soon after living 6 years there. Hot and humid weather plus burning is terrible. Dogs all over and poo on the ground roasters screaming noisy environment and air pollution is bad. 😢. Plus the family asking money etc
@@tkmad7470 I retired there but am leaving. Construction quality so low that my expensive condo is falling apart after living there 3 months, insane noise, polluted air, lack of parks and proper sidewalks, rampant poverty, corruption everywhere, and on and on it goes. There's a reason why almost all of the long term foreigners I have met seem to be miserable here and stay solely because of their partner.
@@Kam_Abroad_FT A great partner is a very big deal, that is why I am here in Cebu....the rest is all true....but where do I get another beautiful, friendly, loyal woman....let me know?
I knew a German who had a nice house he'd built above Valencia who pissed of his Pinoy neighbors. Later on he bought a fancy brown European Doberman puppy. Oddly after 6 months somebody, (the neighbor) poisoned that expensive cute Dobie. I also new a Canadian married to a Filipina who had bought a big lot off the Bacong road then built a big fancy retirement house. Within months his Filipino neighbors decide to open a Cockfighting rooster breeding business with all those little rooster houses. Right along the boundary wall. There went his peaceful retirement. Lesson = rent don't buy and NEVER sell your house back home.
Knew a Canadian few years back who was married to a Filipina. So he rents this 5 bedroom house for him and his wife and they have the master bedroom. Before long here comes her family and they moved in and take over. He went from sleeping on a bed in the master bedroom to sleeping on the couch. The pinoys would piss in the kitchen sink and with the family came the animals. Dogs and cats would crap and piss in the house and no one would clean it up. When last talked to him, his health was going down hill and suspect he passed on. A Brit is married to a Pinay in Iloilo. Well she took off to the mountains with their son claiming she had a job at a call center. She refused to tell him where she worked or to see his son or have anything to do with him. So about 2 years back he was riding his bicycle when pinoys in a truck came out of a driveway without looking or stopping and hit him. Off to the hospital he goes with serious injuries. Turns out he suffered a head injury and guess who shows up and moves him in with her family. Yes, here comes the wife to protect her ATM card. Only heard from him one time since that happened so she is controlling any contact with him.
move out of the country into a manila condo. I have sent the guards several times over dogs barking, stink, roach infestations coming out of a unit, no water etc. ALL unsolvable by me. Choose a pet free condo
My suggestion is IF a family member want to have money from an expat, make them work for you for a day, like CLEAN my house, CLEAN my CAR, wash my clothes , etc, so that this people will learn the value of hard earn money,
It’s all about the maturity level of the society and level of poverty. If your at a different level there will be problems until boundaries are set, and some people won’t respect boundaries so you have to move away or learn to enjoy the misery.
My Filipina gf wants to live as far from her family as possible, she knows first hand how they react when they smell money. Ever since she had a kid out of wedlock her family has been no help. Now she has me and they all want to help!
out of the orphanage, goes with you, and "dad" comes out to run what used to be your house, and has to throw you out because no room.. One scumbag married to my friend informs him she would have the whole family there if she could.
You can hire a full-time living in Yaya which is basically a nanny and it only cost about $100 a month.. you can spend as much or little time as you want raising kids in the Philippines because help is cheap..
#kahvac...😅 Exactly. 0:23 First of all, why in heaven's name did you come here? You have all the freedom to go 0:23 go back to your life style, you were running away from? I am really offended when I see old men with young women with 2 kids clinging to an expat while shopping in the mall. You are exploiting our young desperate women. They still think have that colonial mentally that everything white is big and great...& have money. In return, you let them cook, do laundry, run errands & a lover. 80& of expat friends are happy. You have the choice to be free...please don't generalize your situation. My friend from Italy is happily married to a professional, educated woman. Being grumpy & old is not the cause of your depression...you think everything is horriblecl around you. Give yourself a break...it's 2025. Have a mental health check-up? You hit bottom Mike. Self care is good for you. Do it asap.
I have a buddy who stopped telling family members in the Philippines that they are coming for a vacation because he said, literally almost all of them wouldn't even wait until they get home. They would all gather at the airport and as soon as they walk out, the families are approaching them about we need money for my son's wedding, we need money for uncle whoever for a surgery they need, we need money for this cousin's college, and so on and so forth. I was like sheeeeesh!!!!
Previously it was the Jungle Drums and since Cell Phones came in use it has gotten worse. What I do admire in the provinces the people look out for each other and foreign visitors. When an unknown Filipino went to go to small barangays they got the full intermigration treatment. Why are they there, who do you know etc? When I married in 1989 I went to visit one of her sisters in Don Carlos, Bukidnon. Upon arrival I was informed by my wife`s sister, neighbours and other people to leave the next day due to NPA being in the area.
I was in Vietnam recently and was seeing a vietnamese girl, same thing happened there, I went to see how much a boat tour was going to be by myself and got a price of 300000vnd, returned with girl, she 'negotiated' with tour operators and all of a sudden the price is 1000000 for both of us... Took a tour from Hanoi to ninh binh, all of a sudden her mother tags along, we go to a restaurant after the tour and I'm paying for everyone's meals including the taxi drivers ..... Plan a trip to sapa and now she's shopping for luggage and I'm paying for it.....she wasn't poor, she had the latest iphone etc but I'm paying for everything and then some, you just get sick of being used.....
My Filipina GF is very smart like Janet and had told me all about her family while we were in a LDR. When I came to meet her we met away from her family and had 2 weeks together before I went to meet her family. I knew that she was a breadwinner in her family. Her brother and sister never worked and just took from the parents and my gf. Her brother took me for a walk and he sat there and told me that his sister was a family breadwinner and if I took her away I would have to take responsibility for the family. I knew our time line so I just told him---"I'm giving you three years notice to get yourself organised and get a job because I am not paying for lazy bastards to sit at home" Crazy, 8 years later we are married and living in Australia and she is working sending support back to her family and that brother is still unemployed-----we have warned him that when his parents are gone, he is on the streets.
The family problem usually happen when they are poor, get involved with somebody who has achieved something, anything from owning a small business, college degree, lived far from her family etc. My husband is always the one wanting to buy my family gifts, but my family refuses adamantly, because my family has got money themselves and are very proud.
I guess the kind of Filipino family that you're describing does exist, but that hasn't been my experience at all... My Asawa and I live about a 10 to 15 minute walk, or 5 minute bike ride from her family home and it's been awesome. They have been so supportive of us and are helping us out all the time. They are not asking for money nor are they leeches. They all work hard. They don't treat me like an ATM at all. We bought a lot in a subdivision and built a house. No barking dogs or roosters crowing. There's plenty of nice places in the Philippines and plenty of nice Filipinas from nice families. My relationship with my Filipino family is much closer and better than with my family back in the US. The key thing is you need to take your time and find the right Filipina.
@@anneb3170most of the time it about money with a foreignor of course she can love you they are grateful you can give them a better life your lucky 9 times out of 10 she with a foreignor for money they more often than not quit that low pay job. In u.s family has their own money much differnt they dont need my family never ask for money mom did not need she has social security my filipina wife mother dont have shit you might have to buy rice or pay her medical bills
You are 100% Right it happened to me I went broke when I tried to live in the Philippines, I had the misfortune of of having a soft heart I went broke lost the house and left with 2500 in my pocket after I went broke ended up back in the states , like I just got off the boat had to start from scratch, will never move to the Philippines again,I’ll visit but I don’t want to live there, learned my lesson,Wisconsin is a better choice,or Southern IL,it was my own fault like to visit but will never move there again , Philippines is not for everyone. Buyer be ware, love the USA I tried for almost 4 years,the family was always asking for something there was always a family member or acquaintance at the gate wanting something,recently my wife bought a grave site for her mother everyone else used it after she spent a couple of grand for it, it’s always something, it tends to make you bitter watch your money never live near the family keep your distance live at least 10 hours away
😁Sooo True ! Iv been here for 20years(To & from) and im still struggling getting used to it...🙃One thing is for Sure:Stay single !Enjoy your Freedom.(And count -not to10, but to 1000)Have fun ,Behave nice ,Good luck ❤
Mike, I'll cut to the chase. My Filipina gf had 10 brothers and sisters. Her mother was always pressuring her for money. When she asked her mom why only her, the reply was "because you have foreigner". We didn't even live in the same city either. BTW; so she went online hustling money for her mother. End of that relationship. #2. The barking dogs and the crowing roosters, the honking horns, noise pollution in general. You go and ask them if they can keep the dogs from barking. I've had them tell me, "You don't like it, then why don't you go back to your country. Or, you don't own that house, you only rent so you can't complain. Or, the best one is because it's a watch dog. I had to get up and get dressed in the middle of the night because next door was two barking dogs. I'm outside, ringing the door bell, I can hear the doorbell from outside at the front gate, and no one stirs. I left the PI in 2013 for another Asian country after three years in the PI, Davao city, Lanang & Buhangin. Vermin in your kitchen ingredients, rat's, and everything else you wouldn't put up with in your home country. No thanks! BTW, 22 year's in SE Asia now.
It’s not for everyone, I am 13 years in the Philippines, I have adjusted my life to make it work here, it’s not hard, but it’s not for everyone. I live the most free and relaxed lifestyle than anything close to anywhere else
@mikesphilippineretirement: It is what it is, Mike. However, I have a 37 yo Filipina wife but as I've stated, we don't live in the PI and we're coming up on 5 years now. She's a caring sweetheart too. The only time she gets really upset is when she gets into her families dramas. She has a brother and 8 sisters. She's finally learned just to not listen to them and stay away from the constant drama. BTW, after three months in Lanang I got dengue too. SMH!
Im in an ldr and caught her messaging someone else after we finished our video call. She sent by mistake to me a list of Amazon dress she probably asked the other guy to buy for her. So I just messaged her that we are over. I just sent her a balikbayan box I expect them to receive before my scheduled trip in May. I dropped all plans to make that trip to be with her. So it's done for me finding a Filipina ldr. I'm just going to remain single till I drop dead😂😂😂
If you're gonna be in the Philippines as a foreigner why stay in a those poor neighborhoods with those types of ppl? There are nice apts via airbnb in buildings without that crap.. cheap too. Solution is to be in a month to month rental, in a major city so u wont have the rooster and dog problem. Dont be cheap trying to be like the poorest..a middle class range should be ur target.
No , Mike. If you let a neighbour build a wall on your land , the land where the wall is built , formally becomes the neighbour s land. It s called “ adverse possession “. The time elapse required in Australia is 12 years. In Philippines , who knows?
Do I let my 40 years old engaged girlfriend starve to death. Nope I watched her eating canned corn beef that had expired and get food poisoning . 37 is the age limit on hiring at McDonald's. That is a joke. I'm 59 and can work circles around most young people. No I send money.
Letting your neighbor share your wall for his house is a big mistake because you destroy sound isolation. The cow noise next door would be the least of your noise problems.
You are so right on about your calls, it applies to some but less so for my situation of part time. If you ask retired US military Filipinos living in the US why don't they move to the Philippines with hundreds of thousands in home equity if they sold and thousands a month in pensions, they will say every day someone would potentially show up dressed in shabby clothes at their gate asking for money.
I let my Asawa figure out where to help, but she has to stay within a budgeted allowance. If I'm asked for money, I simply reply that only God can save everyone and I'm not God.
My wife bought a house before we met and married. I paid it off and we live in So Cal now. Her niece lives in the house now and her brother takes care of it. My wife stays there when she goes to visit her family. I stay in our home in So Cal. You are right about the dogs but her family is not a problem. They have a farm her father and brothers take care of. No, they never asked me for money.
If someone borrows 10,000 pesos, Tell them you cnt do it but you can give 500 or 1,000 pesos and no need to pay you back or dont expect they will pay you back.
Welcome to the Philippines your water pump story absolutely applies to everything, EVERYTHING! What’s the rush, there’s always tomorrow, repeat daily. Great vlog, finally an expat blogger that is speaking the truth, it’s not all roses. Waiting in a line watch out for the older Filipina, she will literally walk right in front of you showing you she’s more important than you. If asked if you speak Tagalog or other dialects always say “maybe” they will zip their lips.
My girlfriend's family is great. They never ask me for anything. Every 3-4 months I buy her mom tickets from Manila to Davao for family get togethers but she will only fly economy. One time I bought her an economy plus ticket and she got mad a me for wasting money! I hit the jackpot with Erque and her family. I think you are talking about the worst case scenario.
my 6 yo woke me up in the province and said daddy don't put your feet on the floor, rubbing my eyes I asked again whats wrong "daddy don't put your feet on the floor" I looked at the floor to where she was pointing... 5 big black scorpians running around
I am Australian, been to the Philippines and when I hear somebody says CHEAP in Ph, I laugh. I live 2 times cheaper in Australia, prices in PH are just crazy.
Oh Mike, come on now 4;00 minute mark, most of us do end up with a good girl from a good family. That's false most end up being financially emotionally drained and go up in smoke . Let's stay on the side of the truth., continue, you say set boundaries. Once you put your foot down, the shows over , Honey Clam is closing tight ..it's not up to you to do this and that for them. Oh that's in your eyes , in their eyes that's why your in this relationship to begin with ... i could go on but leave you with this , if you old expats think your going to paradise and this young college girl is going to take care of you till the day you die in 5-star fashion , its time too snap out of the fantasy world your in .
Everything you talk about is so true i think the best thing to do is live two or three hours away from the "family" if not you won't have enough retirement money because you will be feeding so many mouths thy will eat you out of house home
Mike, it's not that you said anything I haven't experienced myself, but you bring it in such a brilliant way that I watched it to the end and I think this video is a must for anyone with the ambition of moving to the Philippines without having been there. If you want to move to another continent, make sure you are able to adapt. Don't expect them to adapt on their turf.
I just had an idea (uh oh!). I know there are a lot of expats over there, and each one has their own field of expertise from wherever they came from. Why don't you guys get together and talk, and for those who are willing, make a list of what each one is good at. The purpose being that when one of you has problems, instead of waiting for a Filipino to come fix it, another expat could help (if they are willing). You could make a list of people and their fields of expertise and phone numbers and distribute the list among you. I know there must be guys sitting around with nothing to do who would enjoy helping other expats, and knowing they could get help from them if they need it, Also, it would probably be a good thing for expats to at least make an attempt to learn Bisaya or Tagalog. I'm sure the natives would appreciate that.
I planned for nearly 3 years to relocate to Phils, visited and toured around in November pre-Covid then returned to Aussie land. No way Id live in Phils now, I know plenty of Expat guys there now who regret it.
Born and raised in a suburb of Manila, educated by Maryknoll sisters in elementary, left at 27 never went back even for a visit, now 79 years old. It is sad to see all the poor people and cannot do anything about it.
Lots of condos and apts, top floor in major cities like Manila. Closed windows w AC. Not even that expensive. The foreigners complaining are too cheap renting places for 100usd a month in small towns like locals. Thats why..
@@Diablo-mfx That's usually what it boils down to - budget. You can have peace and quiet in the PH if you can afford it and are willing to live that type of lifestyle.
Hi Mike: I have experienced that at times when I am in Portugal, specifically that no sense of urgency! That is something that can get people to have serious second thoughts.
A POSSIBLE solution to the whole problem could be to command / instruct your beloved Pinay on the driving rules you want's, AND move to another island, miles away from the family. You could also then give your beloved a fixed amount per month, e.g. 5 -10K per month, which she can give to her family. Also instruct her that, beyond THIS monthly sum, you will ONLY be willing to help in the event of life-threatening injuries or deaths. Whether your beloved wants to work and send HER salary to the family, well that will be up to her. These are the scenarios I would deal with. Set the FRAMES, and don't let yourself become a voluntary ATM.
All true! I am a Filipino-American. I was born and raised in the Philippines but have lived in the US for nearly 30 years now. Every time I visit the Philippines, I always have to remind myself of the Filipino-time mentality, otherwise, it will drive me crazy. After nearly 30 years, Filipino-time is still alive and well. LOL
I thought about going there a few years ago, and the more I found out what the real truth was, the more I knew it was a bad idea. When you watch most of these guys talking about the Philippines, they make it sound like this is the place of Milk and Honey. OMG. Now, I just shake my head when they start talking about the BS.
Why would any foreigner move in with the family? That's just silly. No diff than moving in with a woman. Get your own place and control the odds. Learn how to say No from the beginning and don't pretend to be rich. Also do not agree to a monthly allowance or money obligation to that family even if your gf asks, simply say you will offer gifts occasionally when you can.
❤ Thank you very much, your videos alone have put me off coming to the Philippines and saved me the infuriating experience and wasted money as well as time. 🏆
If you don’t say exactly what your expectations are, then it’s your fault that you are getting treated like a chump. I think the one area where you as the boyfriend or husband is responsible, is if you tell your Filipina to stop working, so you can be together 24/7. If she’s been giving her family P6,000 a month from her P10,000 a month salary, then you should put her on an allowance so the family doesn’t go wanting. In my eyes, that’s the right thing to do. Otherwise, just tell them Christmas only comes once a year, and you are not Santa… As for dealing with neighbors, if you assume they will start bringing the dogs in at night, because a new neighbor just moved in. Think Again! If anything, they will probably go and get a 5th or 6th dog, because it’s cheaper protection for their property than a motion sensor camera… Another great video Mike! Salamat…
They prey on your emotions. It’s surprising how little self awareness even older people have. Are you getting fair and equal exchange? Ask yourself everyday!
After watching this i don't think it's worth the gamble retiring there. He is only mentioning a few reasons. Brownouts, weather and more. You don"t want to give up everything and need to start over again in your home country. He is giving wise experienced advice. Take heed everyone.
My filipina and I purposefully live 60km from her family in PH just to avoid the problems you describe. 60km is far enough away so that an occasional scheduled visit (which, within reasonable limits, we want to encourage) is possible but frequent ad hoc visits are too distant and costly. This seems to be working for us, at least for the time being. Others have mentioned the "two island rule" lol. Also agree with you about the advice about loaning money. Don't loan money in PH. If you want to help, make it a gift - and don't hold it over the recipient later. Avoid encouraging the development of unhealthy economic dependencies and misunderstandings.
You have to set limits and stick to it. I live in a quiet, clean place. It's also secure, very infrequent brownouts. No roosters or farm animals allowed. But I am near to everything I could need. I've also found good services for aircon etc. For me I'm very content.
Like I always said, “nobody has as many emergencies as a Filipina’s family if she has a foreigner boyfriend.” Everything you said was spot on. I’ve heard them say I talk so fast I’m going to make their nose bleed. You need to talk slower so they can understand and don’t joke or use sarcasm because they take what you say very serious. Philippines was great but if I ever moved back, I’d never have another girlfriend. I stayed in BGC for a few months, I’d probably rent a condo there. I still have friends both Philippine and American living over there. Traveling around the Philippines is some of my best memories.
there is a gang robbing foreigners. There are 7 of them, and the PNP won't do anything to soil a reputation I heard... Applies everywhere. Cops have to be paid. The victim lost her purse and her green card.
My suggestion once you date a Filipina tell her right away you will not support her family. Let her decide you or them. If she chose her family you’re not her priority move on. Lots more beautiful woman in the Philippines.
@ it needs to be said or else it will be assume that your the bank. Luckily I have lots of cousins in Manila that came from wealthy parents and have married Filipinos . Whenever I visit them they just tell me what do you want to eat the maid will prepare for you. Damn love that lifestyle I tell my cousins they are so lucky.
Well, all you have to do guys is find someone who is financially stable and came from at least a decent family or a family with moral values. Do a research first. Once money is involved, run away😅. Very simple and it’s not rocket science.
You’re right on all of these items. And most foreigners don’t have the patience required to live in the Philippines full time, to adjust to their culture.
I agree with everything you say, I have to tell you, I have outgrown the Philippines.Too much BS. I will add this, that my extended family is wonderful. I love them.
That's the truth...they expect you to pay for everything! It will drain your finances before you know it. And it's exactly why I don't plan to live here full-time. I am not with a good family here, unfortunately.
funny we at home in the last 6 months had dengue fever now have a nest of killer bees above our house all I need is a cobra snake and my life is complete
It's all sad but true! Except when you're on the road with them, then they act like their 2 hours late. Their driving is just crazy. No rules, no law enforcement, just cut off anyone in your way and as long as you don't cause a accident, no problem. My advice to anyone coming here is to bring your patience A game, have a plan and set firm boundaries. And always remind yourself that your not in Kansas anymore. It's easier to go with the current than to swim against it 24 - 7. And it's probably more likely than not, that you won't be able to live here stress free, it's just to foreign.
I have known few people and heard few stories where the guy was literally taken advantage of by the family members or the girl friend/wife herself. I think if someone wants to blow off their retirement money then they should go to Philippines. There are definitely some exceptions but they are too few to mention. I think going to a country where you can find yourself a young girlfriend easily might just look too good on the surface but in reality you are going to be stepping into financial obligations and fraud as well. Philippines might be a great place to visit and spend few months even a year and enjoy the natural beauty, but going there with an idea to find yourself a honey and expecting that’s going to have a happy ending is fooling yourself.
In a small town in Molave, Mindanao they have birds the size of sparrows that show up at night in the thousands and sit on the electrical wires in town. You have to walk with an umbrella due to the bird droppings will get you.
Everything you say is so correct I am married to a Filipina and live in a house we built. I am happier than I have ever been because the fabulous bonuses you get from the relationship [ If you are married to a Filipina you know what I mean] far outweighs the negatives
I spent a month in the Philippines recently and got a feel for exactly what you are talking about. The noise pollution is out of control. I wanted to retire there but now I'm having serious second thoughts.
You are smart Philippines is only to visit specific areas and get a partner but not leaving there. I am going out soon after living 6 years there. Hot and humid weather plus burning is terrible. Dogs all over and poo on the ground roasters screaming noisy environment and air pollution is bad. 😢. Plus the family asking money etc
@@tkmad7470 I retired there but am leaving. Construction quality so low that my expensive condo is falling apart after living there 3 months, insane noise, polluted air, lack of parks and proper sidewalks, rampant poverty, corruption everywhere, and on and on it goes.
There's a reason why almost all of the long term foreigners I have met seem to be miserable here and stay solely because of their partner.
@@Kam_Abroad_FT A great partner is a very big deal, that is why I am here in Cebu....the rest is all true....but where do I get another beautiful, friendly, loyal woman....let me know?
Just go if you dont feel good. Who cares
@lenlen8384 obviously you don’t care lol…I care
I knew a German who had a nice house he'd built above Valencia who pissed of his Pinoy neighbors. Later on he bought a fancy brown European Doberman puppy. Oddly after 6 months somebody, (the neighbor) poisoned that expensive cute Dobie. I also new a Canadian married to a Filipina who had bought a big lot off the Bacong road then built a big fancy retirement house. Within months his Filipino neighbors decide to open a Cockfighting rooster breeding business with all those little rooster houses. Right along the boundary wall. There went his peaceful retirement. Lesson = rent don't buy and NEVER sell your house back home.
Wise words.
Knew a Canadian few years back who was married to a Filipina. So he rents this 5 bedroom house for him and his wife and they have the master bedroom. Before long here comes her family and they moved in and take over. He went from sleeping on a bed in the master bedroom to sleeping on the couch. The pinoys would piss in the kitchen sink and with the family came the animals. Dogs and cats would crap and piss in the house and no one would clean it up. When last talked to him, his health was going down hill and suspect he passed on.
A Brit is married to a Pinay in Iloilo. Well she took off to the mountains with their son claiming she had a job at a call center. She refused to tell him where she worked or to see his son or have anything to do with him. So about 2 years back he was riding his bicycle when pinoys in a truck came out of a driveway without looking or stopping and hit him. Off to the hospital he goes with serious injuries. Turns out he suffered a head injury and guess who shows up and moves him in with her family. Yes, here comes the wife to protect her ATM card. Only heard from him one time since that happened so she is controlling any contact with him.
move out of the country into a manila condo. I have sent the guards several times over dogs barking, stink, roach infestations coming out of a unit, no water etc. ALL unsolvable by me. Choose a pet free condo
Living one island away from your filipina's family seems to work pretty well!
My suggestion is IF a family member want to have money from an expat, make them work for you for a day, like CLEAN my house, CLEAN my CAR, wash my clothes , etc, so that this people will learn the value of hard earn money,
you have a car?
@@mikesphilippineretirement ..lol
😂
they'd loot the house, steal your car, sell your clothes most probably
@@mikesphilippineretirement I dont treat pinoys like slaves, they already know that part of life, but hang onto your money if possible....
Good advice. I'm Filipina, grew up in the states. If I return to live there it's going to be nothing but trouble and head aches.
It’s all about the maturity level of the society and level of poverty. If your at a different level there will be problems until boundaries are set, and some people won’t respect boundaries so you have to move away or learn to enjoy the misery.
My Filipina gf wants to live as far from her family as possible, she knows first hand how they react when they smell money. Ever since she had a kid out of wedlock her family has been no help. Now she has me and they all want to help!
out of the orphanage, goes with you, and "dad" comes out to run what used to be your house, and has to throw you out because no room.. One scumbag married to my friend informs him she would have the whole family there if she could.
Wondering why an older guy still wants to deal with raising a family ?
Maybe because they enjoy it. I do.
Young girlfriend,that's the only reason
You can hire a full-time living in Yaya which is basically a nanny and it only cost about $100 a month.. you can spend as much or little time as you want raising kids in the Philippines because help is cheap..
puke is a strong addiction..
#kahvac...😅 Exactly. 0:23 First of all, why in heaven's name did you come here? You have all the freedom to go 0:23 go back to your life style, you were running away from?
I am really offended when I see old men with young women with 2 kids clinging to an expat while shopping in the mall. You are exploiting our young desperate women. They still think have that colonial mentally that everything white is big and great...& have money. In return, you let them cook, do laundry, run errands & a lover. 80& of expat friends are happy. You have the choice to be free...please don't generalize your situation. My friend from Italy is happily married to a professional, educated woman.
Being grumpy & old is not the cause of your depression...you think everything is horriblecl around you. Give yourself a break...it's 2025. Have a mental health check-up? You hit bottom Mike. Self care is good for you. Do it asap.
I have a buddy who stopped telling family members in the Philippines that they are coming for a vacation because he said, literally almost all of them wouldn't even wait until they get home. They would all gather at the airport and as soon as they walk out, the families are approaching them about we need money for my son's wedding, we need money for uncle whoever for a surgery they need, we need money for this cousin's college, and so on and so forth. I was like sheeeeesh!!!!
Yep see so much of that here
Ridiculous. No thanks. No way.
Previously it was the Jungle Drums and since Cell Phones came in use it has gotten worse.
What I do admire in the provinces the people look out for each other and foreign visitors. When an unknown Filipino went to go to small barangays they got the full intermigration treatment. Why are they there, who do you know etc? When I married in 1989 I went to visit one of her sisters in Don Carlos, Bukidnon. Upon arrival I was informed by my wife`s sister, neighbours and other people to leave the next day due to NPA being in the area.
Ya but philippines people are friendly kinda true ya but they want money
I would have said, "Well you all need to work some OT."😊
I was in Vietnam recently and was seeing a vietnamese girl, same thing happened there, I went to see how much a boat tour was going to be by myself and got a price of 300000vnd, returned with girl, she 'negotiated' with tour operators and all of a sudden the price is 1000000 for both of us... Took a tour from Hanoi to ninh binh, all of a sudden her mother tags along, we go to a restaurant after the tour and I'm paying for everyone's meals including the taxi drivers ..... Plan a trip to sapa and now she's shopping for luggage and I'm paying for it.....she wasn't poor, she had the latest iphone etc but I'm paying for everything and then some, you just get sick of being used.....
The unattractive ones always pays.
My Filipina GF is very smart like Janet and had told me all about her family while we were in a LDR. When I came to meet her we met away from her family and had 2 weeks together before I went to meet her family. I knew that she was a breadwinner in her family. Her brother and sister never worked and just took from the parents and my gf. Her brother took me for a walk and he sat there and told me that his sister was a family breadwinner and if I took her away I would have to take responsibility for the family. I knew our time line so I just told him---"I'm giving you three years notice to get yourself organised and get a job because I am not paying for lazy bastards to sit at home" Crazy, 8 years later we are married and living in Australia and she is working sending support back to her family and that brother is still unemployed-----we have warned him that when his parents are gone, he is on the streets.
Good Advice Mike - thanks for telling the truth , Much Appreciated
Glad you found it helpful
The family problem usually happen when they are poor, get involved with somebody who has achieved something, anything from owning a small business, college degree, lived far from her family etc. My husband is always the one wanting to buy my family gifts, but my family refuses adamantly, because my family has got money themselves and are very proud.
Mine from caloocon and college degreed accountant sister a banker other a doctor. and they refuse stuff like a new fridge or a hotel vacation..
I guess the kind of Filipino family that you're describing does exist, but that hasn't been my experience at all... My Asawa and I live about a 10 to 15 minute walk, or 5 minute bike ride from her family home and it's been awesome. They have been so supportive of us and are helping us out all the time. They are not asking for money nor are they leeches. They all work hard. They don't treat me like an ATM at all. We bought a lot in a subdivision and built a house. No barking dogs or roosters crowing. There's plenty of nice places in the Philippines and plenty of nice Filipinas from nice families. My relationship with my Filipino family is much closer and better than with my family back in the US. The key thing is you need to take your time and find the right Filipina.
…You are SO right. Continued good luck to you…
Consider yourself lucky because most are not
True
I think plumbers might be like that worldwide 😅
@@anneb3170most of the time it about money with a foreignor of course she can love you they are grateful you can give them a better life your lucky 9 times out of 10 she with a foreignor for money they more often than not quit that low pay job. In u.s family has their own money much differnt they dont need my family never ask for money mom did not need she has social security my filipina wife mother dont have shit you might have to buy rice or pay her medical bills
The most important word you said sir was "ground rules." Thank you for telling it the way it is.
Brilliant video Mike, your best one yet!
Wow, thanks!
And most truthful.
Some good points no one ever talks about. Thank you for sharing.
You are 100% Right it happened to me I went broke when I tried to live in the Philippines, I had the misfortune of of having a soft heart I went broke lost the house and left with 2500 in my pocket after I went broke ended up back in the states , like I just got off the boat had to start from scratch, will never move to the Philippines again,I’ll visit but I don’t want to live there, learned my lesson,Wisconsin is a better choice,or Southern IL,it was my own fault like to visit but will never move there again , Philippines is not for everyone. Buyer be ware, love the USA I tried for almost 4 years,the family was always asking for something there was always a family member or acquaintance at the gate wanting something,recently my wife bought a grave site for her mother everyone else used it after she spent a couple of grand for it, it’s always something, it tends to make you bitter watch your money never live near the family keep your distance live at least 10 hours away
Why buy a woman in your old age when you can rent ....you have learned nothing in your whole life..
😁Sooo True ! Iv been here for 20years(To & from) and im still struggling getting used to it...🙃One thing is for Sure:Stay single !Enjoy your Freedom.(And count -not to10, but to 1000)Have fun ,Behave nice ,Good luck ❤
Mike, I'll cut to the chase. My Filipina gf had 10 brothers and sisters. Her mother was always pressuring her for money. When she asked her mom why only her, the reply was "because you have foreigner". We didn't even live in the same city either.
BTW; so she went online hustling money for her mother. End of that relationship.
#2. The barking dogs and the crowing roosters, the honking horns, noise pollution in general. You go and ask them if they can keep the dogs from barking. I've had them tell me, "You don't like it, then why don't you go back to your country. Or, you don't own that house, you only rent so you can't complain. Or, the best one is because it's a watch dog. I had to get up and get dressed in the middle of the night because next door was two barking dogs. I'm outside, ringing the door bell, I can hear the doorbell from outside at the front gate, and no one stirs.
I left the PI in 2013 for another Asian country after three years in the PI, Davao city, Lanang & Buhangin. Vermin in your kitchen ingredients, rat's, and everything else you wouldn't put up with in your home country. No thanks!
BTW, 22 year's in SE Asia now.
sad
It’s not for everyone, I am 13 years in the Philippines, I have adjusted my life to make it work here, it’s not hard, but it’s not for everyone.
I live the most free and relaxed lifestyle than anything close to anywhere else
@mikesphilippineretirement: It is what it is, Mike. However, I have a 37 yo Filipina wife but as I've stated, we don't live in the PI and we're coming up on 5 years now. She's a caring sweetheart too.
The only time she gets really upset is when she gets into her families dramas. She has a brother and 8 sisters. She's finally learned just to not listen to them and stay away from the constant drama.
BTW, after three months in Lanang I got dengue too. SMH!
Im in an ldr and caught her messaging someone else after we finished our video call. She sent by mistake to me a list of Amazon dress she probably asked the other guy to buy for her. So I just messaged her that we are over. I just sent her a balikbayan box I expect them to receive before my scheduled trip in May. I dropped all plans to make that trip to be with her. So it's done for me finding a Filipina ldr. I'm just going to remain single till I drop dead😂😂😂
If you're gonna be in the Philippines as a foreigner why stay in a those poor neighborhoods with those types of ppl? There are nice apts via airbnb in buildings without that crap.. cheap too. Solution is to be in a month to month rental, in a major city so u wont have the rooster and dog problem. Dont be cheap trying to be like the poorest..a middle class range should be ur target.
An honest blogger for a change.
They all say it's a paradise. I won't mention any names, One passed away last week.
one of the most eye opening honest commentary Mike, and a good message valuable everywhere "Be a good neighbor" conflict is not worth it .
very true
@rory
"Love your neighbour, but don't get caught." (HA!)
No , Mike. If you let a neighbour build a wall on your land , the land where the wall is built , formally becomes the neighbour s land. It s called “ adverse possession “. The time elapse required in Australia is 12 years. In Philippines , who knows?
Mike, you’ve convinced me; don’t move to the Philippines 😬.
Do not send money to anyone, Filipina, Family, RUclipsrs.
send money
@@mikesphilippineretirement
Only to whom who truly need it and without being taking advantage of.
Do I let my 40 years old engaged girlfriend starve to death. Nope I watched her eating canned corn beef that had expired and get food poisoning . 37 is the age limit on hiring at McDonald's. That is a joke. I'm 59 and can work circles around most young people. No I send money.
After 3 years of my patience being tested almost daily, I finally lost it and was glad to leave. Not again.
best vid yet mike. thanks
Letting your neighbor share your wall for his house is a big mistake because you destroy sound isolation. The cow noise next door would be the least of your noise problems.
I worked too hard to retire into poverty. No clam is worth that.
Much better places to live such as Japan, Poland, etc
You are absolutely correct mike... set a boundary...
You are so right on about your calls, it applies to some but less so for my situation of part time. If you ask retired US military Filipinos living in the US why don't they move to the Philippines with hundreds of thousands in home equity if they sold and thousands a month in pensions, they will say every day someone would potentially show up dressed in shabby clothes at their gate asking for money.
You’re right. When you set the precedent by gladly paying for everything, they become used to it and expect. Your fault. Now you’re on the hook.
Agree with you Mike especially having a conflict with your neighbors!!
Wonderful, fascinating, entertaining video, Mike!
Glad you liked it!
I let my Asawa figure out where to help, but she has to stay within a budgeted allowance. If I'm asked for money, I simply reply that only God can save everyone and I'm not God.
hmmm ok ...not a god but still a good man
@@mikesphilippineretirement My mom only lets me spend $10 on that
My wife bought a house before we met and married. I paid it off and we live in So Cal now. Her niece lives in the house now and her brother takes care of it. My wife stays there when she goes to visit her family. I stay in our home in So Cal. You are right about the dogs but her family is not a problem. They have a farm her father and brothers take care of. No, they never asked me for money.
If someone borrows 10,000 pesos, Tell them you cnt do it but you can give 500 or 1,000 pesos and no need to pay you back or dont expect they will pay you back.
Welcome to the Philippines your water pump story absolutely applies to everything, EVERYTHING! What’s the rush, there’s always tomorrow, repeat daily. Great vlog, finally an expat blogger that is speaking the truth, it’s not all roses. Waiting in a line watch out for the older Filipina, she will literally walk right in front of you showing you she’s more important than you. If asked if you speak Tagalog or other dialects always say “maybe” they will zip their lips.
My girlfriend's family is great. They never ask me for anything. Every 3-4 months I buy her mom tickets from Manila to Davao for family get togethers but she will only fly economy. One time I bought her an economy plus ticket and she got mad a me for wasting money! I hit the jackpot with Erque and her family. I think you are talking about the worst case scenario.
That's been my experience too 😁
I don't give nothing I don't work all my life to give it too some one else
No- no way, you are the very rare exception. It's way worse than he is explaining.
@@01swainco respectfully disagree...maybe you have been meeting the wrong kind of Filipinas...
my 6 yo woke me up in the province and said daddy don't put your feet on the floor, rubbing my eyes I asked again whats wrong "daddy don't put your feet on the floor" I looked at the floor to where she was pointing... 5 big black scorpians running around
where is your cat?
@@dennisdragomir7572 cats will chase those away?
I was technical engineer in my country , I do all myself,
Never a problem and no stress.
I always appreciate your straight talk Mike. Thanks, I am grateful for your videos 🙏
I’m a Filipina living in US and what you’re describing is all true.
I am Australian, been to the Philippines and when I hear somebody says CHEAP in Ph, I laugh. I live 2 times cheaper in Australia, prices in PH are just crazy.
Oh Mike, come on now 4;00 minute mark, most of us do end up with a good girl from a good family. That's false most end up being financially emotionally drained and go up in smoke . Let's stay on the side of the truth., continue, you say set boundaries. Once you put your foot down, the shows over , Honey Clam is closing tight ..it's not up to you to do this and that for them. Oh that's in your eyes , in their eyes that's why your in this relationship to begin with ... i could go on but leave you with this , if you old expats think your going to paradise and this young college girl is going to take care of you till the day you die in 5-star fashion , its time too snap out of the fantasy world your in .
Everything you talk about is so true i think the best thing to do is live two or three hours away from the "family" if not you won't have enough retirement money because you will be feeding so many mouths thy will eat you out of house home
Make it 8 to 10 hours away
Even 2 or 3 hours away they get on a bus want you to pay hollidays
Other island better. Easy for them to take the bus to your house.. (I know)
2-3 hours by plane, maybe
...your videos and the way you share your experiences are really valuable, thank you very much
Great advice, tough love , you have to be tough but nice , put the boundaries up straight away, geez mike, you have learned so much, thanks mike 😊
thank you so much. I have
Mike, it's not that you said anything I haven't experienced myself, but you bring it in such a brilliant way that I watched it to the end and I think this video is a must for anyone with the ambition of moving to the Philippines without having been there. If you want to move to another continent, make sure you are able to adapt. Don't expect them to adapt on their turf.
I just had an idea (uh oh!). I know there are a lot of expats over there, and each one has their own field of expertise from wherever they came from. Why don't you guys get together and talk, and for those who are willing, make a list of what each one is good at. The purpose being that when one of you has problems, instead of waiting for a Filipino to come fix it, another expat could help (if they are willing). You could make a list of people and their fields of expertise and phone numbers and distribute the list among you. I know there must be guys sitting around with nothing to do who would enjoy helping other expats, and knowing they could get help from them if they need it, Also, it would probably be a good thing for expats to at least make an attempt to learn Bisaya or Tagalog. I'm sure the natives would appreciate that.
I planned for nearly 3 years to relocate to Phils, visited and toured around in November pre-Covid then returned to Aussie land. No way Id live in Phils now, I know plenty of Expat guys there now who regret it.
Born and raised in a suburb of Manila, educated by Maryknoll sisters in elementary, left at 27 never went back even for a visit, now 79 years old. It is sad to see all the poor people and cannot do anything about it.
Well said and insightful! Thanks for sharing. 👍 God bless.
thank you you're welcome
Not everything he said is true all over the Philippines! In his place yes because he's experiencing it. So many other places he can move in.
You can't save the world, if you realize this before traveling anywhere, you will have no problems.
Traveling is one thing. Living there is another.
Does Janet feel your tense personality
So where can you find no barking dogs and no rosters makeing noise
not in the Philippines
High end condo living. Not for everyone but no barking dogs or roosters or noise
Lots of condos and apts, top floor in major cities like Manila. Closed windows w AC. Not even that expensive. The foreigners complaining are too cheap renting places for 100usd a month in small towns like locals. Thats why..
In the U.S.
@@Diablo-mfx That's usually what it boils down to - budget. You can have peace and quiet in the PH if you can afford it and are willing to live that type of lifestyle.
heck in Metro Manila in Quezon City proper MANY don't even understand or speak English. Yes indeed, let alone folks in the province.
Do as I did. Spend a few pesos and have 6 or 7 T- shirts printed up in big letters
"ATM OFFLINE"
They "Do" get the point!
11:17 mark. Great Cow!!!
How did you get the barking dogs sound right when you were talking about barking dogs? Some sort of sound edit?
yes I recorded dog barking and lower the sound and placed it in the video
Insulation, double pane windows, noise cancel from bose
Thanks Mike, great story as always.
Glad you enjoyed it
Very sound advice. You are a walking pension. You MUST learn how to say no and learn not to care what others think
easy to say hard to do somethings
Hi Mike: I have experienced that at times when I am in Portugal, specifically that no sense of urgency! That is something that can get people to have serious second thoughts.
"the truth shall set you free" in this case the truth could enslave you😮😢
Good advice Mike
A POSSIBLE solution to the whole problem could be to command / instruct your beloved Pinay on the driving rules you want's, AND move to another island, miles away from the family. You could also then give your beloved a fixed amount per month, e.g. 5 -10K per month, which she can give to her family. Also instruct her that, beyond THIS monthly sum, you will ONLY be willing to help in the event of life-threatening injuries or deaths. Whether your beloved wants to work and send HER salary to the family, well that will be up to her.
These are the scenarios I would deal with. Set the FRAMES, and don't let yourself become a voluntary ATM.
The dog barking would have to be the the hardest thing to put up with.
they know how to poison dogs I see... The owner does not care either. I see them on superheated balconies, steel cages on the roads, etc
Mike 100 percent just hope everyone takes notice . There will be still those that know it all .
Great video Mike , but tip of the iceberg !!!
All true! I am a Filipino-American. I was born and raised in the Philippines but have lived in the US for nearly 30 years now. Every time I visit the Philippines, I always have to remind myself of the Filipino-time mentality, otherwise, it will drive me crazy. After nearly 30 years, Filipino-time is still alive and well. LOL
I thought about going there a few years ago, and the more I found out what the real truth was, the more I knew it was a bad idea. When you watch most of these guys talking about the Philippines, they make it sound like this is the place of Milk and Honey. OMG. Now, I just shake my head when they start talking about the BS.
Why would any foreigner move in with the family? That's just silly. No diff than moving in with a woman. Get your own place and control the odds. Learn how to say No from the beginning and don't pretend to be rich. Also do not agree to a monthly allowance or money obligation to that family even if your gf asks, simply say you will offer gifts occasionally when you can.
❤ Thank you very much, your videos alone have put me off coming to the Philippines and saved me the infuriating experience and wasted money as well as time. 🏆
I hope it saved you money, but I want you to visit at some point!
If you don’t say exactly what your expectations are, then it’s your fault that you are getting treated like a chump.
I think the one area where you as the boyfriend or husband is responsible, is if you tell your Filipina to stop working, so you can be together 24/7. If she’s been giving her family P6,000 a month from her P10,000 a month salary, then you should put her on an allowance so the family doesn’t go wanting. In my eyes, that’s the right thing to do. Otherwise, just tell them Christmas only comes once a year, and you are not Santa…
As for dealing with neighbors, if you assume they will start bringing the dogs in at night, because a new neighbor just moved in. Think Again! If anything, they will probably go and get a 5th or 6th dog, because it’s cheaper protection for their property than a motion sensor camera…
Another great video Mike!
Salamat…
YOU HIT THE NAIL RIGHT ON THE HEAD!!!!
and MUCH more to add
They prey on your emotions. It’s surprising how little self awareness even older people have. Are you getting fair and equal exchange? Ask yourself everyday!
After watching this i don't think it's worth the gamble retiring there. He is only mentioning a few reasons. Brownouts, weather and more. You don"t want to give up everything and need to start over again in your home country. He is giving wise experienced advice. Take heed everyone.
My filipina and I purposefully live 60km from her family in PH just to avoid the problems you describe. 60km is far enough away so that an occasional scheduled visit (which, within reasonable limits, we want to encourage) is possible but frequent ad hoc visits are too distant and costly. This seems to be working for us, at least for the time being. Others have mentioned the "two island rule" lol. Also agree with you about the advice about loaning money. Don't loan money in PH. If you want to help, make it a gift - and don't hold it over the recipient later. Avoid encouraging the development of unhealthy economic dependencies and misunderstandings.
Excellent advice for life in general: Thank you,
You have to set limits and stick to it.
I live in a quiet, clean place. It's also secure, very infrequent brownouts. No roosters or farm animals allowed. But I am near to everything I could need. I've also found good services for aircon etc. For me I'm very content.
Noise doesn't bother me... I grew up on a dairy farm we had cows chickens geese and dogs.
Thumbs Up for the more positive 2nd half of the video. Good advice.
Appreciate that
@@mikesphilippineretirementbe careful next time. It's happening in your place where you live in but not not everywhere.
Like I always said, “nobody has as many emergencies as a Filipina’s family if she has a foreigner boyfriend.” Everything you said was spot on. I’ve heard them say I talk so fast I’m going to make their nose bleed. You need to talk slower so they can understand and don’t joke or use sarcasm because they take what you say very serious. Philippines was great but if I ever moved back, I’d never have another girlfriend. I stayed in BGC for a few months, I’d probably rent a condo there. I still have friends both Philippine and American living over there. Traveling around the Philippines is some of my best memories.
I disagree sorry. Not everything he said is spot on! If in Mike's place is like that, sorry for him.
there is a gang robbing foreigners. There are 7 of them, and the PNP won't do anything to soil a reputation I heard... Applies everywhere. Cops have to be paid. The victim lost her purse and her green card.
More vlogs like this, please.
My suggestion once you date a Filipina tell her right away you will not support her family. Let her decide you or them. If she chose her family you’re not her priority move on. Lots more beautiful woman in the Philippines.
Finally, the most important and accurate statement made. Unfortunately these guys are so thirsty they'll go with anyone that gives them attention.
Wow, strong words! Thanks for sharing.
@ it needs to be said or else it will be assume that your the bank. Luckily I have lots of cousins in Manila that came from wealthy parents and have married Filipinos . Whenever I visit them they just tell me what do you want to eat the maid will prepare for you. Damn love that lifestyle I tell my cousins they are so lucky.
@@Airraidcd 1000% correct
buy her a house, and dad takes it and throws you out.
Well, all you have to do guys is find someone who is financially stable and came from at least a decent family or a family with moral values. Do a research first. Once money is involved, run away😅. Very simple and it’s not rocket science.
All what you’re saying is very true about us and I love it.
You’re right on all of these items. And most foreigners don’t have the patience required to live in the Philippines full time, to adjust to their culture.
I agree with everything you say, I have to tell you, I have outgrown the Philippines.Too much BS. I will add this, that my extended family is wonderful. I love them.
You're great Mike you tell it truth! An clear.
Appreciate the support!
Another good video. Ty
Glad you enjoyed it
That's the truth...they expect you to pay for everything! It will drain your finances before you know it. And it's exactly why I don't plan to live here full-time. I am not with a good family here, unfortunately.
Water pump? Urgency. He'll pay more since. Fuck em. Nevermind, I'll call a friend. Call someone else. They want premium pesos.
The Philippines seems like it's just the worst of the worst scammers. I was thinking of the SRRV but I am really hesitant now.
funny we at home in the last 6 months had dengue fever now have a nest of killer bees above our house all I need is a cobra snake and my life is complete
You don't have to do it Mike. Learn how to say NO!
An old girlfriend of mine had a very bad memory,three grandmotherrs died in 2 years..footnote..her mum and dad are still married..
..
Klinger on mash.. mom dies, father dies, cancer, etc
It's all sad but true! Except when you're on the road with them, then they act like their 2 hours late. Their driving is just crazy. No rules, no law enforcement, just cut off anyone in your way and as long as you don't cause a accident, no problem. My advice to anyone coming here is to bring your patience A game, have a plan and set firm boundaries. And always remind yourself that your not in Kansas anymore. It's easier to go with the current than to swim against it 24 - 7. And it's probably more likely than not, that you won't be able to live here stress free, it's just to foreign.
I have known few people and heard few stories where the guy was literally taken advantage of by the family members or the girl friend/wife herself. I think if someone wants to blow off their retirement money then they should go to Philippines. There are definitely some exceptions but they are too few to mention. I think going to a country where you can find yourself a young girlfriend easily might just look too good on the surface but in reality you are going to be stepping into financial obligations and fraud as well. Philippines might be a great place to visit and spend few months even a year and enjoy the natural beauty, but going there with an idea to find yourself a honey and expecting that’s going to have a happy ending is fooling yourself.
In a small town in Molave, Mindanao they have birds the size of sparrows that show up at night in the thousands and sit on the electrical wires in town. You have to walk with an umbrella due to the bird droppings will get you.
Everything you say is so correct I am married to a Filipina and live in a house we built. I am happier than I have ever been because the fabulous bonuses you get from the relationship [ If you are married to a Filipina you know what I mean] far outweighs the negatives
unless you can't sleep
@@dennisdragomir7572 The reason I cant sleep has much more to do with what is happening in the bedroom