Table News: Convicts, Homelessness, and the Kentucky Derby
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- Опубликовано: 6 окт 2024
- An alleged murder wins a primary in Indiana while another escapes with an officer. Tennessee makes homelessness a felony while Austin, TX starts a UBI program.
Add in some gators, horses, soccer, tornadoes, and IUD's, and you get the news from this week!
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Приколы
Cali's face when Austin appeared was just *chef's kiss*
he was so happy! :D
Austin is the closest thing Cali has to a friend
@@1080ike Texas, duct-taping his hat in place: "Like hell he does!"
Someone needs to swap Austin and Jefferson
i'm still waiting for the CALIxAUSTIN fanfics & arts to start rolling in lol
The shakiness of TX’s hand to keep Austin under his hat will always make me laugh😂
One of these days, San Antonio, Houston, and D-FW are gonna join forces with Austin...and that day will be glorious...
@@izumiryu yes, yes it will
@@emberandfriendsanimations2454
Not going to happen, Austin is a bully when it comes to finances, public land and actively puts its population in troubles path with how they are paving everywhere, creating the most amazing black top zones for flash floods and property damage.
@@leatcanned we’re at least going to join forces with Austin to stop the rest of Texas keeping us under the hat, and that will be awesome
The way California talks about Austin... Awww.
I'm glad Florida figured out what to do regarding help for the homeless situation: Sleep on the governor's yard till things get fixed 👍🏽 As a former homeless person, I approve this message 👍🏽👍🏽
As a person that loves malicious compliance, i also approve that idea
That sounds good until you realize that bill Lee will call the cops and have them shoot the trespassers because in Tennessee if I catch you on my property doing something I don't want you to do I can beat you in court with a bullet Tennessee is not a state to try and make West Coast statements in Texas is.
I repeat the governor will shoot trespassers.
"We don't have the answer for homelessness."
"Homes."
Sometimes it actually is simple.
Right there with you OP.
As both a homeless person and someone who loves breaking dumb laws, who is also gonna be in Tennessee in August i suddenly have some more plans
shit, the whole Austin/Texas thing honestly feels way too convincing. The hand shaking looks honestly really unnerving
It looks like is getting harder keep Austin inside
@@arturoalcantara6830 let’s go Austin, we believe in you
The Texas cities should join forces but they'd probably fight each other too much. Probably about sports or food.
it is unnerving knowing you have a time bomb that can blow your state to pieces at any moment is fucking terrifying.
@@izumiryu yea, we’d probably end up fighting
California and Florida are like siblings, they may not like each other, but when it comes to causing problems for others they’re all in.
Sibling problems.
As a sibling, can confirm
@Kavya Murthy Oh my god, they really are the younger-older sibling pair
@Kavya Murthy latin america is their mom
@@GuiSmith Wait, which one is the oldest...I'm scared it's FL.
The acting in this is fantastic. You manged to convey Texas's whole personality with just a quivering hand.
Florida and California teaming up is a rare occasion but I’m glad it happens, chaos x2
Yep. And chaotic states working together to overthrow stupid laws is the best form of friendship
That bit was amazing, along with the rest of the video
I can confirm Florida and cali coming together is chaotic, my bf is from Florida and we call our states the two socks of America lol
Each state has thier own character that makes this table setting even funnier
The glee in California’s Face when he saw his only potential friend…Austin! Lol
You say potential friend
I say
Potential lover
Tennessee's absolute fear of Florida is my everything. Also as a Hoosier that Lebanon thing is totally [technical glitch].
As a tennesean, i fucking love Florida in these
Tennessee's fear of Florida is pretty much everyone's fear of Florida. If Texas is the copyright legal hell, Florida is the exception legal hell; They've had to make up laws three separate times each just because some government ass who didn't like it found a way to just say 'nope, law doesn't exist.'
@@primalryzen Same here.
Im also a Hoosier and i feel the same way.
I actually live in Oklahoma and the tornado's in Seminole were awful. I hope that everyone who lives there is doing alright.
Austin is my absolute FAVORITE character. Between Texas and Austin, plus NJ’s Tourette’s I’m floored and shocked at the representation I can relate to in this series
Right?? I don’t have Tourettes, but I have a motor tic that is almost identical to NJ’s haha
When??
@@anonymouspalmtree welcoming new jersey to the table
@@TheLocomono9 Ok, thanks!
I can watch Gov’s shock at what Texas says, to the delight in CA’s face, to Texas’ hand forcing his hat back on his head, to Austin’s now infamous, “hey Friends” on loop forever!
Everyone: Bad or dumb things happening and we feel the need to brag!
Washignton State: Our Soccer team did a thing!
We are a simple people
@@darthmaul216 That's because we stopped caring what others are doing unless California or Oregon catch on fire and we suffer second hand smoking XD
They did find the AL convict, the corrections officer who helped him & went on the run with him, although she killed herself.
Yeah them being found is mentioned in the video.
I missed Austin. Can’t wait to revisit the other State’s other personalities, especially California 😌
Yeah, when will the state of Jefferson (California) get to make an appearance at the table?
Illinois could have at least four. Chicago, suburbs, Central Illinois and Southern.
SoCal would be friends with Florida
Would like to see Bakersfield come out of CA's Beanie
Oh yeah, it's been awhile since California brought out his laid-back surfer personality.
Thankfully Louisiana's governor had some sense and vetoed that bill.
I mean the life at feralization thing would probably *shudder* have been "constitutional" once Roe is dead, but impeaching judges that disagree? Ignoring the federal government? Yeah, that's... directly against the establishment clause. That's how you get federal troops inside you.
Quick Question: have we covered Tennessee trying to make child labor legal *again* ? They're apparently working in another rework for the third time.
Because if not, why was it not slapped on with this pile of bs? XD
California: Says homes would solve the homelessness issue
Also California: Is one of the more expensive states when it comes to housing(only being beat by Hawaii) and well, has San Francisco.
California municipalities are shockingly conservative (economically) and owned by a lot of rich people who are NIMBYs
Also California: 'We'll build houses for the homeless!' started at 100k and is now passed 1m per home.
Florida is now the 2nd most expensive state.
@@healinggrounds19 What's the first?
I love Cali’s love for Austin is amazing
Even when Louisiana does a backwards law that puts year of progress 20 steps, he does it so charmingly
First time in a while Texas is doing good for the People on rent considering how rent in the US keeps going up .
Let me correct myself AUSTIN is doing good for the people
That’s… Austin!
*coughs* Austin, TX
Guess where rents just went up by $1000.
@@torlumnitor8230 That’s literally not how inflation works, you’re pulling the “increase the minimum wage and your food gets more expensive!!!” thing.
No, it doesn’t. It’s already been more expensive
@@torlumnitor8230 nah they just implemented it in the worst way possible. Instead of paying the 85 families rent to free up their funds, they handed it to them like a stimulus check. Then put recommendations on how they should spend it….sigh.
They also decided that the program would be fully funded by taxpayers. While not allowing the money to be taxed itself.
I am a bit of a pessimist when it comes to people spending money like that responsibly, mostly because I keep getting proven right.
As a Canadian, seeing you portray the stuff that happens in the US is always entertaining
As an American it is often enraging and/or terrifying
@@druid_zephyrus yet true
Bring Canad's character back to the table!
I like how much of a big brother CA is to Austin
Cali going "That's...Austin 🥰" was so funny to me
It’s always nice to see Austin come out
I love your vids man. They are literally the only comedy I enjoy at this point
Check out Drew Talbot (Bistro Huddy) Dr Glaucomflecken (medical humor), and Stevieo for tales from the ER.
All are hilarious.
Also, KallMeKris is super funny.
Cali low key gay for Austin feels... accurate.
"YOU STAY IN THERE," definitely accurate.
Love,
A Texan
Day 12 of asking for you to give Houston our own personality like you did for Austin and Miami
I replayed the "that's not Texas" section, like, 5 times... and laughed.my.butt.off every time!
Ben I found fan fiction of your representations of the states on Wattpad (mainly Cali, Florida, Texas, and Louisiana.) Just saying...
Imma need a link.
@@nyk7831 you got Wattpad
are you even surprised?
@@always._.gracieee No just because I told him doesn't mean I'm not gonna read it 💁🏻♀️
@@libertysmith8029 lmao
This skit is a amazing example how good these have gotten! The details!
I can't stop rewatching
Texas/Austin bit especially, it's so good
Florida and California briefly teaming up to dunk on Tennessee was my favorite part
This is one of my favorites, I’ve re-watched it so many times!
OMG!!!! My shipping of CA and TX just took a whole new wonderful turn.
1:55 This is the funniest thing ever. Texas is trying so hard to keep Austin in. I also think it's sweet how California talks about Austin. His one true friend.
Everyone ignoring Oklahoma’s tornadoes is hilarious! Then again, we don’t even worry unless it’s in our county. But we still tune in to David Payne when it hits the fan!
county nothing most oklahomans don't care till they can see it from their porch
Everyone ignoring Oklahoma having tornadoes is normal, because they just have permanent tornados. It's why we have three Nat Guard detachments just in Ok and gave them an open fund to cover the costs. It's like saying your newborn shit themselves; Just grab a nappy and clean them up, it's a Wednesday.
my dad won 2000 off the 80-1 horse with a $4 bet lol insane
Florida being iconic as always. Love your content
What pacing! This is a favorite sketch-- so many States! Really shows off Ben's range in acting and character writing. THIS is the video I will be sharing to introduce friends to The Table!
I love these vids!!
Me: *In a lightning storm*
Also me: Yay! My state is in a comedy skit!
Don't get tornado'd
Well, let's think about this,Tennessee. 6 years of free room and board plus 3 meals, just for sleeping in the park. MMM, sounds like you're really taking care of that homeless problem by giving them all a place to stay and at the tax payer's expense. 🤯🤯
Well?
Are there no poorhouses? Are there no prisons?
@@peterkerj7357 as sad as it is, there's none in Tennessee as far as ik, i should probably know since i live here
Fuck ALL the way off.
Edit: please tell me you're being sarcastic.
Well, that was Florida's best moment at the table.
I’m so glad that he used my suggestion about the Alabama run aways.
IM SO EARLY IT FEELS LIKE AM ACTUALLY AT THE TABLE YAYY
Kentucky and Nevada being happy about horse racing is gold
I'm surprised that Disney+ hasn't canceled Florida's subscription yet.
The transition from Austin to Texas 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
I read the Kentucky Derby and started trying to say Kentucky Turtle Derby and I don't know how you can say it quickly
It took me longer than I'd like to admit to realize that Lebanon was referring to Lebanon the city not Lebanon the country
My day is always better after one of your videos
It’s nice to see when Austin makes an appearance. It’s the city I visit most in Texas because family lives close. Well unless you count driving through Dallas and weaving through traffic and the ever changing construction just to make sure I don’t miss my turn . Lol.
i cant believe the gator story made it in, but yea took like 12 guys to get it to move, it was just there sunning itself
I love this so much Austin is by far my favorite character sorry Florida also are you considering doing more countries at the table if so I recommend Britain and France. And maybe Mexico since they are parents to loads of state's
Thanks!
Fun note my cousin was legally disowned by her father in the late eighties in the state of Louisiana for being a girl. He is the genetic father and was married to her mother but he was still allowed to disown her because he only produces boys. I'm not sure what law allowed this to happen but it makes Louisiana's new law look even worse.
The way you pronounced and questioned said pronunciation of Natchitoches was spot on. I'm not from there, but I do know weird cities.
I’m just glad that there is finally more alabama
If normal news was like this I’d watch it
I love how excited Cali gets when Austin is around.
Cali and Austin: Two star crossed lovers
Thank You for doing something on the Derby!
This guy is better than watching the news
That was a good one, one of my favorites, keep it up
LA-"It's Natchitoches"
Gov- "That's not how you spell that."
.
.
Nice callback to the time when Ben tried to spell Natchitoches.
Shit and I thought the judge I was gonna serve jury duty under getting got during election season for threatening her ex-husband was messed up. Also in Indiana btw
I feel like an idiot! I love the short videos and just today realized you make longer vids
Ok but like, Oklahomas character made my day, and my area is doing fine after the tornados, crazed times I tell ya
Omg I was kinda hoping you would cover the Alabama story and you did! Thank you!
I love Louisiana's accent it is *chefs kiss* perfection
Gov: "The World??" 😂
Every day I get a little closer to renouncing my citizenship and getting the hell out of this country 🤦♀️
I love Nevada and Kentucky having a little moment over the derby
I wonder if one of these videos will mention the giant storms that just went through Minnesota
Tennessee's fear of Florida was like Bagheera in The Jungle Book when he realized Kaa was about to come after him.
There's but one sentence to describe the table: "Florida, what are you doing?"
That's why it's in the intro!
I didn't know the Sounders won the Champion's League, well done for them!
I love how this has the pace of a discord conversation where you have to be REALLY bizzare for someone to pay you mind. Like when Austin came out and everyone noticed meanwhile no one noticed when tornados were brought up 🤣
This man never disappoints
1:30 tattletale california and clever florida is hilarious
Happy to see more Kentucky. Surprised how funny your interpretation of it can be.
Fry some more chicken ya southern state
-sincerely someone from nh
This is my new favorite episode
This is one of the best episodes I reckon. Very good lmao
I’m just happy that we finally have more Alabama
The Austin one 🤣🤣🤣
IN representative here. Listen... We don't talk about Lebanon.
Im still trying to figure out how i havent heard about the alligator literally half my family lives in Nachitoches....
I’d love to see you discuss a situation in Washington State right now where a school district’s board is trying to pass a policy that would require signed parental permission for kids to join clubs, but there was this whole protest because it would affect the marginalised students a lot more. I feel like you could use that headline for something, especially since it’s so out there for Washington.
Just by seeing this everyweek I am starting to think that America won't last until the end of Summer without a civil war
Gov. Lee, I hope you got your back yard tidied up, because _you got company comin'!_
"you stay in there" 😂😂😂😂
The Austin bit is great.
Loui is the best character, change my mind. (I feel like everyones favorite is their own state. that goes to me.)
New Hampshire is the best ya swamp creature
I live not too far from minneapolis, and my apartment complex is owned by a rental company in the city. My rent went up by $50 not long after the single-family zoning ruling went up, and I forsee it going up more
Calis Prince in shining armor arrived...the knight Austin
Yesss I've been so excited
I'm wondering how many of Tennessee's prisons are privately run by corporations that contract with the state and then supply other companies with cheap labor? There's a lot of incentive for "getting tough on crime" when inmates are seen as a resource. I don't see how sentencing someone to 6yrs and giving/increasing a criminal record is going to help them get a good paying job and stable housing....
This is wonderful! And I've never even visited US :)