My nana always told us👉If ever a man hits you..grab the nearest thing and knock him out, then pack your bags and LEAVE as a leopard never changes its spots!
fireson23 I am so proud of you that you had the courage to leave. I hope you will notice when time progresses that it becomes easier. First take the time to heal your wounds. Best of luck
I made a mistake and listened and it happened to me more than thrice and when I ran I never looked back.Please DO NOT STAY WITH A MAN WHO HITS YOU,INSULTS YOU ,OR EVEN ACTS LIKE THEY ARE ABOUT TO DO SOMETHING 🙏🙏
In fact, it will get worse. Abusers then use this against you, the fact that you tolerated past abuse. They will justify their abuse saying it was your fault. If you had not made them mad, you would have never been hit. I could go on and on about gas lighting, manipulation, control and the insane mind of the abuser. I would prefer to say: RUN and don't look back.
@JudahBenLevi white people people when they came to America we're often poor in escaping poor countries as well when America was initially formed. Some of them were escaping traumatic situations like the Irish which led to a lot of domestic abuse and alcohol abuse. Not saying you're wrong in any way shape or form there are certainly other cultures who are white who experienced or continue to experience this abuse heavily. I can tell you right now even in the US Modern Irish gypsies still struggle with this and have since the forming of the US... but you're not wrong and it's heartbreaking the other Injustice is that the group's you're referencing have dealt with. Particularly to note an unknown issue women of color are more likely to pass away after birth because Medical Personnel often take their complaints less seriously.... how terrifying is that!!! And it's something like three times more likely it's really bad
When my father was beating me, he always made it seem like I was being "punished" for something. But the truth is he enjoyed it, it was his favorite pastime.
This is happening to me and I just don't know how to end this marriage, he frightens me so much and has hit me and run off many times leaving me distraught and battered. STUCK!
why men think it is okay to beat his wife, where it started, it happens all over the world. Personally, I think abusive men are cowards who has no self esteem and shallow minded.
What we need is anther good ol' fashioned war. That way all the men can go off to fight, get killed in the millions, ergo, extremely few men and woman-beaters left , just like after WW1. Then the women can have their pick of whomsoever is left. These men were not BORN abusers. They were raised to be so. What does that tell you about AUSTRALIAN culture as a whole ? A violent, child-abusing, woman-beating, drug-addicted, alcoholic nation (the highest consumers of alcohol on Earth per capita). They are reaping what they are sowing. So very, very CHRISTIAN of them ! And the women tolerate it ! They ENABLE it (He says he's sorry and he won't do it again !!) ! I wonder how the Aboriginals are faring ?
@@lordbane729 it's not just Australian, happens on my end in the USA. I was emotionally abused twice by two different guys. Not just physical. I am promising myself to never let myself be involved again. I told both of those guy's I'd never be in a relationship. I was never hit but as I said, not just physical. I have my own income, place, and car. I can do it all on my own without half the bs a partnership would put me through.
It happened to me, an educated woman who always swore no man would make me their punching bag!...but slowly, somehow over time..there I was. I made it out alive and I’m forever traumatized by it.
The moment your man hits you even its the first time is a sign that he's gonna do it over and over again. Get out of that kind of relationship ladies. Trust me. He is going to hurt you again!
Yeah, totally. And if they stop hitting but just use power and control such as monitoring, trackers, constant texting, lengthy unavailability, drug and alcohol dependency as an excuse, put downs, belittling and ridiculing, allowing their children to become involved too, thankfully that isn't abuse anymore. It's love. Ha, these people are seriously demented
Ladies if you need to feel desired to see your worth... then abusive men and women may target you. Know your worth and respectfully love yourselves!!! Practice and work on your sense of self... do not let anyone define who you are....
I just read this comment and you said the right word, which is "target". That's what abusers do because domestic violence has always been and always will be about power and control, no love whatsoever.
God Bless You Sandy. I am sure that you have opened some eyes with this video. I too went through an abusive relationship some years back. I remarried but am a widow now. Now I am S and P (single and proud.) Today II have my children, my grandchildren, my home, and most important of all, my life. I do what i please when I please, and I go where I please when I please. I think that the biggest lesson that I learned from being in relationships is that there is nothing better than having peace of mind and that there is nothing out there that can replace that.
I am in agreement with teaching young adults about emotional abuse and what to look out for in schools, it should be mandatory in all schools in the world to be honest with you. Not sure if it would stop, but at lease I know it would help loads.
@@shinebrightlikeadiamond6411 Exactly. Education about manipulative behaviour and problematic personality types and disorders, combined with assertiveness training, would be extremely helpful to future generations. I don't know if it should be mandatory, but it should be highly encouraged and popularised, at least. If I ever have children, I would love to teach them all about such things.
cant believe he was allowed to get out of jail after doing such horrendous stuff to this lady ? how is police so lenient with such people? he almost killed her mentally tortured her for years and yet the police holds him for 1 night and lets him go with a restraining order? what Kind of LAW IS THIS?
I totally agree Ala. It's kind of like this in America too. And restraining orders can be simply useless. These orders hold no power for your protection. I don't understand what has happened to men. Men used to be so different years ago.
@@ivyvines6708 A lot of abuse originates from financial stress. Years ago, men were able to earn enough to support their families. Plus, illegal street drugs were not epidemic.
Ala mode The police allow men to go free whose wives have “disappeared.” One case, so famous, has been made into an internationally known podcast; the husband, a well-known rugby player and sports teacher, was having an affair with one of his high school students. He moved her into the house he and his wife had built. Amazingly, the next week, his wife had “left him to join a religious cult,” leaving behind her two baby girls, her dream house, her very close family-mom, dad and siblings-and her husband whom she adored. She just disappeared, left home, never took money, keys, clothes, jewelry in 1982 and has never been seen again. What did the police do? Zip all. The husband was a footy star! No one bothered to investigate her disappearance until at least 10 years later. Three Coronial Inquests declared the husband to be a person of interest in her disappearance, but the police kept claiming he was innocent. FINALLY, this year, after all the fuss of the podcast, was he finally arrested, thirty plus years after her disappearance. Her daughters, caught in the middle of this family chaos were too young to remember their mother, and clung to the only parent they knew, their dad, even after it became clear that he was no innocent bystander. The police are often less than useless in DV cases.
Its ashame that you endured this for so long that you feel you could never trust a man again... I wish you wouldn't give your ex that power... Its just about proceeding with caution
Its ashame that you endured this for so long that you feel you could never trust a man again... I wish you wouldn't give your ex that power... Its just about proceeding with caution
Sandy Wolf is so incredibly well-spoken about the trauma and abuse she and her family endured. I'm in awe of her strength and bravery in speaking out like this, in the name of awareness and prevention.
I'm sorry - what is brave about putting your children through this abuse for TEN YEARS!! No strength - just weakness....her son was locked in a bathroom for 7 years only to be let out for school and chores....what is brave about letting it carry on for so long????
Lynette Rall Exactly. You hit the nail on the head. I knew women who left after the first signs of violence and stayed hidden without their batterers knowing where they were. Women who stay in abusive relationships are exposing and endangering their children to violence. Which is why children think violence is okay when they grow up.
@@lynette599 sure she stayed with him, and I don't think she's happy that her kids went through it too. but many times he literally threatened to kill her. which should have traumatized her and her kids enough that she felt literally imprisoned in her own home. We shouldn't forget, every domestic abuse story starts with a love story. her love for him has probably been rooted for years so it's really not easy just to detach a behaviour from a feeling.
@@lynette599 Do you not know that the most dangerous time is when the victim tries to leave or has left? They will hunt you down and kill you anyway, and the kids too, and in some cases your whole family who take you in and try to protect you and the children. They are no safer after they leave.
As a man I find this a disgrace. I have never n will never touch my wife with anger. I used to have a bad temper but would just walk away. I gave n turned my life over to Jesus Christ n now have no temper or at least can controll my feelings n just let things roll off. I used to have no patience driving n would be so mad at others n now I have the patience it takes in todays world n could not have accomplished this without Jesus guiding me. God Bless n always love God above everything else n love ur neighbor as yourself!!
Zeus Von Rafiel congrats for turning over if you more want to calm down more focus on good positive thinking and manners turn to vegan and raw vegan foods that will make your life more wonderful and beautiful mental and physically , God blesses
N to let u all know it was not easy but every time I would start to loose it I wouls pray and this was the help I needed. Jesus is wonderful n even though He does not appear to ur face He is always there by ur side. Love u all n God Bless
@Shruti⁷ 10 years with the same gorgeous woman n adopting our first child then will reverse my vasectomy and try to make our own. Thanks for tge compliment. God Bless
The moment he puts his hand on you OR talks abusively towards you, be certain of this; HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU...INSTEAD HE BELIEVES HE OWNS YOU. ITS NOT LOVE, ITS OWNERSHIP!!!
@@lordbane729 LOVE is kindness, gentleness, being long suffering, goodness, love is long enduring, love is benevolent toward the loved, love is not quick to anger and love is not self willed and never insists on having my own way.
@@benban8055 You clearly DO NOT understand sarcasm,. DO YOU ??? Like I need lessons in "love" from the likes of you. BBBWWWWWWHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@@lordbane729 You asked a question..... I provided the answer. If you say it's sarcasm, that's fine. Your second comment speaks volumes though. When you say "the likes of you", what exactly do you mean? I know for a fact that you don't know me, so how can you make a claim based off of ignorance buddy. That says a lot, you dig?
@@lordbane729 Love endures with patience and serenity, love is kind and thoughtful, and is not jealous or envious; love does not brag and is not proud or arrogant. Love is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; it does not take into account a wrong endured. It does not rejoice at injustice, but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail]. Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening]. Love never fails [it never fades nor ends].
Liz trainer the first women. I bet she just stood there and did nothing while her son was being bashed. She needs to be in jail for allowing child abuse.
@Shelley Fitch if my husband hit my son we would be gone in half a second. That pathetic cow just stood there. The truth is her husband was more important to her. Simple as that.
Shelley Fitch I am truly appalled by Farzama Fazli’s comments to you. I know they were made 12 months ago, but I just wanted to say you are so correct. I have not experienced DV myself, but I work with many women who have and I know how hard it is to leave those relationships. It is a source of frustration to try to get those who know little of DV and its impact to understand the complexities of why women stay.
My aunt was badly treated by her husband she was partially blind and He was very cruel until she hit him with a heavy frying pan, he was better with her afterwards he was a coward
As mums we need to raise our boys to know that domestic violence is not ok. We have to teach them how to behave in their relationships. Dads need to teach their boys to be respectful. Parents get too busy with money making to pay attention to teaching their kids manners. And courts need to come down harder on perportraitors.
@kshitij924 Traditional means if some stranger groped a girl on train , then she should never tell to anyone or make a scene because good girls never got harassed but the only bad ones as they provoke men to do that. Right kshitij?
Leslie Angela it’s not deflection or an excuse. Let be honest here, it takes two to tango. I grew up in a house of domestic violence and distinctly remember my mom popping off and getting my dad going until it was a knock down drag out. I used to get so upset, and ask myself “why is she doing that, why did she start a fight and starting up all this yelling”. As an adult, I tended to fall into relationships with that same potential toxicity, and learned I have control and can walk away before it comes to that. Life is about choices, let’s not just oil the squeakiest wheel here, which is the end of the game woman-with-Black-eye, let’s look at the whole picture. We all are responsible for ourselves and the lives we choose to live, both parties in domestically violent relationships are equally sick.
@@leslieangela9114 idiot, there is no excuse to initiate violence against ANYONE, not just women but men too...we dont have to distinguish that its bad to harm just women...its bad to harm ANYONE and if u got a problem with it being stated that way then u are part of the problem
You became dssensitized and think that your mother deserved her abuse . You can talk and scream until you’re blue in the face but the moment you put your hands on her it’s game over . I hope you realize women aren’t meant to be abused and men aren’t meant to be violent towards women.
@Donald Clark really one in five men getting abused by a woman i doubt that very much, how often do you hear of a male be murdered by a woman, you don't. But if ever that's the case it's im sure it's self defense
My ex hurt me for over a quarter of a century and I can honestly say they only get worse never do they stop only God can change them and only if they want to change.
I NEVER EVER thought I'd say this about a man who has hurt a woman, but I respect that guy making the films. I've never heard an abuser speak. He actually took full responsibility for his actions and stayed in treatment for 2 years instead of 6 month!!! I'm a survivor both as a child and adult of domestic violence. It's not just Australia. It's every country. I have to agree that simply jailing them isn't the answer. Offer them treatment. Offer them help because they are broken and if you don't offer them help, the cycle won't end until someone dies. Let's also not forget that not only we women are victims of domestic violence. Men are too. And they're even less likely than us to report it. One of the first DV ads I ever saw, when I was young, said it best... love shouldn't hurt.
I really like your comment. I totally agree that that guy Jerry is right. Unless we work to change the perpetrator they just move onto the next relationship. We can’t lock them up forever.
The trying to get away in the car....I went thru similar. I'd left him because of abuse and was waiting on the divorce to be final. He saw me in traffic on day and rode his motorcycle BETWEEN cars, as we were waiting for the light to change, to get to me. He then reached over and pounded on my window then kicked my door. Thank God the light changed and there were so many witnesses. Someone saw what he'd done and called the police on my behalf. He was arrested. He would stalk me everywhere after that! I finally just up and moved 600miles away without telling anyone. Gotta get away ladies. Gotta run. I know it's harder when you have children with them but you can get help.
wow that's horrible. tbh I find it embarrassing that someone would chase someone in broad daylight in a car, like all his self-control just flew out the window... happy that he's locked up!!!
If someone insists on doing you physical harm to the point of killing you, the solution is simple. HAVE. THEM. KILLED. Or do you lack the guts to do even that ? If so, don't complain about the danger you are in. If this sounds harsh to the point that your "feelings" are wounded, it is not meant to be. Simply a cold, hard acceptance of a colder, harder Reality. Been there. Done that. KNOW how it turns out !
@@대왕의길 .... That may be so, however, it's true worldwide, global citizens are almost to the point where a massive extermination of evil is going to take place shortly.
I don't think it's the substance abuse, that mentality is already there just less inhibited. As for mental health, there's also a lot of people who have mental illness and don't abuse. Depends on the disorder and how they are raised
This is crazy, I live in a small town and the last "murder " happened in 2013. A couple was well known by the police, due to many calls for domestic violence. One day this lady called because her husband was just released from jail and very drunk, banging on her door, trying to break in. While he was in jail she filed a restraining order and bought a gun. He was able to break down the door and as soon as he stepped into the house she shot him. He didn't survive and once the police arrived they said it was justified. I am so happy to know this lady in the video made it out of her nightmare alive. This is hard to see and hear what this lady and many go through all over the world every day 💔
Woman do it a lot , they hit on men , but most men will tolerate it because they don't want too get the person/s in trouble , or admit too anyone as it goes under the radar. If people served God proper they would love each other and harm , hurt , steal , covet , etc. People are responsible for their own actions.
@Bryce Thibodeaux there is an article on abuse. So. Many women are abused, is this what men are 🤔'bringing to the table' and should women be impressed by abuse and disrespect
No surprise at all, I'm beginning to not want to live with another man never again. I don't hate all men but honestly, a lot of happy women are single. Relationship is hard work, especially if you live with a control freak, that's is the worst relationship you want to be in, emotionally abuse is no joke.
Lynette Rall have u watched the video?? please do?? she has kids it's not as easy as picking up a few valises and renting an apartment.. he follows her and rams her car after she moves..she's been threatened so many times maybe look at what fear does?? when you're in a refugee and still get run off the road would you feel safe?? would you have the guts to leave??
Much respect for the good men in our world who stand up for and step in to protect women. And for men who come to their senses, have remorse, take responsibilty for their actions and decide to change. There was and example of both in this documentary. Wish the absolute best for this woman and her children.
elsa1942 there are still nice good decent men that know how to treat a woman with love,respect,kindness,tenderness. I can say this because I’m one of these good men
I think it’s because a lot of women are instinctively attracted to a-hole guys. Nice guys fail to push the buttons that turn women on. How many men who were “too nice” get passed over? Not until those women grow up, and by then all the nice guys are taken. Nice = pushover to many women, and a-hole = strong. People don’t realize how much our instincts drive partner selection.
Moose Overlord there is a reason why they are said to be "too nice" and not "too funny" i mean nice n distant is pretty much a default for human interaction
Might help you out if you get attacked by a stranger on the street but not in a domestic violence situation. Maybe if you got a psychology degree along with it so you could defend yourself against the inevitable emotional abuse that went along with the physical. And besides, a man with this kind of disposition is never going to go for the kind of woman who is adept at defending herself.
Why would they let the children stay in the house when the man has been accused of abusing their mother? Maybe she wouldn't of gone back to him if the cops had gone and gotten her kids out of there when she left the first time. Its understandable that she went back to protect her kids.
Yes. That's the ridiculous thing. You would think in this day and age cops and the courts would be alot more switched on about domestic violence situations. Some cops are still so ignorant about DV incidents.
Excellent point. I thought it was an automatic deal breaker with DHS, CPS or whatever they call the agency that protects children. Maybe someone forgot to notify them of the charges? When I've heard of it the alleged perpetrator is forced to leave until an investigation is complete or else they take the children.
Some restraining orders. A judge can put many possible sentences for violating a Protective Order. Depending on where you live it could be many years in prison. For many DV cases that aren't nearly to this level of violence a possible 5 year sentence instead of a slap on the wrist would likely work. This man however wanted her dead at any cost.
@@nunyabuisness7552 In my experience, the abuser will get even if he can get away with it. A charming narcissist will treat others like gold, but in the home it becomes a nightmare for his victim. So those victimized are seldom believed. I lived it far too long. He did get even when I left. Now I live alone, too. I like the comment that the man she fell in love with never existed.
@@93pljohnson I had the exact same issue and was being tortured for many years, I know really what's the meaning of Family Domestic violence with a narcsis person as a husband and a father..
Alex Klatt The advantage of a restraining order is helps the police to get a conviction. You have to prove an offence beyond reasonable doubt. Assaults, unless the victim is badly injured, are often he said, she said. The police cannot tell who is telling the truth. If there is an order not to go near her, then it is much easier to prove a breach. The standard wording is not to contact the woman. sometimes there are exceptions such as in accordance with a family law order. In the scenario described in the video of Sandy being run off the road, it does not matter if his version of him winding down the window was accepted. He was trying to contact her, that is a breach and it is much easier to prove. The issue for Sandy was the sentence was fairly light. If her husband was required to undertake a men’s behaviour change in prison, then 3 years in prison may be sufficient. However, I doubt he was required to one of those programs or that his parole depended on it.
not necessarily. Ive seen them keep abusers in check. it all depends on what country, the relationship, what stage its in and also the womans support system. ive noticed if a woman is still trying to spend time with the abuser or if they have kids together and have to see each other due to that, problems occur
I have only been the victim of domestic violence on one occasion and it was horrible. When the guy who was making the film talked about the rage, it gave me a flashback of the rage that I saw come towards me from my partner. He was not a big guy, but with his blind rage, fueled with alcohol, I was so scared. He was out of control and for some reason I needed to be hurt. That was a very scary moment in time. I can't imagine how these women live with it for years. It must just break them down totally
It does and you are in fear of him. Most men tell their victims that they are worthless. That's what happened in my case. He repetedly told me that I was fat and ugly and that I was lucky that he'd married me. He also said that no one else would ever want me. After hearing this day after day i started to believe him. I didn't realize that I was a beautiful woman. I know It now and have pics of myself from that ok time period. When I look at them now, I see a beautiful young woman. At the time I,was neither fat or ugly. My wedding dress was a size 12. I looked so young, sweet and innocent. I was all of that and more. There was so much much talent waiting to be developed within me. I have developed so much. since then. I do not sit back and allow anyone to abuse me , be it emotional, verbal or even physical. i won't allow it anyplace in my life
It's worse when the female victim is actually the perpetrator and won't stop abusing the male who is marked perpetrator by abusing the system when there's actual victims that need the support. It's worse that men get laughed at or get told to prove it when they try reporting it when women need no proof at all
A part of me agrees with what the “former preparator” said about having a rehabilitative program, as well as jail term because you are just focusing their anger even more. A lot of these men have been abused as well and are continuing the circle.
I always thought that this only happened in India, Bangladesh, Pakistan & Arabian... Sadly, it happen everywhere in this world. My husband used to hit me too for 5 years early of our marriage. Untill on our 5th anniversarry, I told him if he put his hand one more time on me...thats it. I'm going to leave him forever. And I dont know why, since that he never put his hand on me anymore. But during the abbusement, he used to hit me & tear my dress in public. He once hit me with a helmet & that is the caused I cant hear from my left side. And effected from all the violence, now Im suffering nerve problem. And still on specialist medication. The doctor told him that I might be parralyse one day. He knew all the suffering that Im having now is because of him.
Porque una mujer no escapa ?? Porque no solo maltratan fisicamente !! Porque el maltrate emotional es todavia peor !!! Porque te hacen creer que sin ellos no eres nada !!! Y el miedo te paraliza !! Sobre todo si no tienes donde pedir ayuda
It’s not always easy. You can be financially abused...no money. Nowhere to go, gaslighting by telling you that you can’t manage without the, until you believe it, fear that they will kill you if you leave like they have told you they will. Hoping stupidly that you can change them, that you still love them. Complete and utter confusion and desperation to the point where you actually can’t think any more. The most dangerous time for a victim of domestic abuse is immediately after they leave. That’s when they are most at risk of being killed. I have lived through this.
They also they do it because they can get away with it. Tell your family and they police, fam makes could threaten him and the police will put him in jail
I was abused for the past two decades. It's been horrendous, extremely unpleasant and unacceptable. I'd reported to police for more than two times. They gave him final chance if he were to beat me up again, they would go to his office to arrest him outright! He got the message loud and clear. He had stopped it ever since.
I hear some of my own past story in the stories of the women on this video. I'm a widow now, for ten years. Forgiveness is the key to going on with life. I so wish I would have left the very first time....Maybe if you're reading this, you've just experienced your "first time" of being abused? Please. Believe me. It will never stop. He may bring you flowers after every time he hurts you. But maybe the last time he brings you flowers will be to place them on your tombstone.
Marissa Ramirez My Mother hit me. My Father hit me, both of my Sisters have hit me, the first Man I loved beat me up. Doctor in Hospital told me I was lucky not to have been blinded, or killed. The Courts dealt with him, he has a record. I got a life, a really good life and btw I have never hit anyone.
Men like this don't change. My father was abusive to my mother. I remember witnessing him slam her against a door and bang her head on the door several times, before I as a young boy, only 3 years old or so, told him to stop!. I am 39 years old now, and made a vow when I was a teenager and started dating to take a completely different path on how to treat women and never to hurt them. I was raised by a single mother and she did get away, but not all women do. Any woman who is going through this should understand, these kind of men are violent from the get go, you just have not seen it until it happens. They were most likely abused themselves, alcoholics, drug abusers or something is loose upstairs. Get out while you still can!
You made my heart happy! Thank you for breaking the cycle of abuse!!! It takes a REAL man to do that. And to consciously make that decision at such a young age shows how what you witnessed affected you in a positive way. Something ugly made you a better man. Sending you love and light! ♥
Mom taught me from an early age to respect and uphold my self-worth and ditch those who think and/or behave otherwise. I'll pass this on to my future son and daughter. The Australian justice system doesn't make sense at all.
Their masks.. Narcissists..because that is who they are. THEY Rip off THEIR MASKS after they have you trapped. Kill them if needed. .it may b U or HIm. Make it him
This Woman's life was unbelievable. How she said that beating over and over again is just mind-boggling. However, when that boy said his dad beat him with a belt and kept him in a bathroom only to let him out for school it's time to do something then. There is no man on this Earth it would take my son or daughter into a situation where he beat them with a belt constantly and place them in a room only to go out when needed for society. domestic violence is utterly disgusting but when it comes to your kids that turns into child abuse and that is totally unacceptable and cannot be tolerated. These children are ours to protect not to set up for beatings abuse neglect and some of them die. Our laws do not protect the victims but only give the abuser more time and chances to lash out and injure Mame and kill. domestic violence is a worldwide epidemic
I worked in human services for 40 years and I used to tell my clients that waited to leave until he goes after the children that he had been abusing the children before he ever raised a hand to them when he abused their mother. Glad you go out - I know it is hard.
Correct. The judges need to know that often the woman is the main offender. This video is feminist propaganda. For the truth, see the following videos: 1. *Dr. Tonia Nicholls - The uncomfortable facts on IPV* 2. *Police Training for Domestic Violence with Donald Dutton* ... only 10 minutes 3. *Christina Hoff Sommers on Violence Against Women* 4. *Julio shares his experience with domestic violence & the justice system* 5. *The Truth About Domestic Violence - You'll Never Believe...*
Sarah Wadsworth yes but the judges do not seem to recognise the problem or be in anyway equipped to deal with it. It's not good enough to give a barring order when it's not worth the paper it's been written on! also the vast majority of complainers to police are not making it up despite what the rest of the trolls on this site think, and yes it does happen to men BUT the vast majority of abuse IS inflicted on women and children BY men
@@sicah8898 why do u feel the need to point out the "vast majority" abuse IS abuse, regardless of who did it. abuse is wrong and ILLEGAL either way. it seems like your issue is there needs to be better action than just a barring order, ok thats fine u maybe right....but that has nothing to do with male and female period. and where are ur statistics about "complainers" not lieing? there are PLENTY of false rape accusations also. im not even quite sure why u even brought up your opinion about people saying complainers make it up? what are u trying to say? what do u want done? what are ur solutions?
In the US, judges are allowed way too much leniency when sentencing for crimes. In the same state and county 2 judges with court rooms next to each other can have identical cases and sentence one to probation while another gets 7 years! I see similar things happen in the UK but unsure about Australia.
@@nunyabuisness7552 In the States I read about a woman trying to escape being abused physically who ran into the garage and grabbed a loaded pistol. She shot once into the ceiling to scare him off. She was the one who went to jail.
My heart breaks to hear someone going through domestic violence. I know a close family friend going through this and she has four children. I reached out to help them, but she’s still with him, I always inquire about the family.
Being a victim of domestic myself know how hard it is just to walk away. Having been abused by my younger sister & brother I told my mom and she would do nothing. Because of her refusing to do anything to stop it. I have been in many different types of abusive relationships. I was engaged to marry my oldest daughters father. our daughter was 15 months old and one night he flipped out and tried strangling me. Thank God my best friend and her husband were living downstairs. they came upstairs and found him on top of me and trying to kill me. he would of succeeded if they had not come to my rescue. His own brother was there and he did nothing to stop it at all. he wanted his brother to grab our 15 month old daughter and leave. they stopped him from doing that, they left, the cops were called, my parents were called. They came a report was made, restraining order was put into place. But yet I feared for my daughter's and my own life. he fled the state with his brother and his sister. and then thought it was okay to get in touch with me. with him gone I was able to start putting my life back together again.. I never went back to him. But he did succeeded at one thing. Every time someone doesn't matter if it is a male or female raising their voices at me I start to walk backwards afraid that if I turn my back that they would kill me or my 3 daughters or all 4 of us.. once my oldest one was 3 years old. I met this guy ( who I was forced to marry) after having two more daughters with him. again flipped out. this time I was not only thrown up against the wall, but he tried choking me and threaten to kill me and the 3 girls. The youngest one was between 6 to 7 months old. I had my oldest one gather somethings together, and get herself and her one sister out and into the car, well I grabbed the baby, my purse and her diaper bag and got us all into the car. I locked the car doors and started the car. he sat in front of the car and would not move. I did managed to get us out of there. We went to my parents and the cops were called. Again another restraining order was put into place against this one. i had a very good friend of mine move in with me, so at least there was someone there to witness anything that would happen and to also help my friend out. He would stalk me at night by sitting in his car across the street late at night and watch me, my daughters, and my friend. eventually we did get divorce. but for many many years his pwn parents would stalk me and my daughters nothing was done to them for doing that. soenthey were entitled to visitation with the two younger ones. only to find out that they were locking my middle daughter outside in the winter time, locked in the basement , locked in a closet. she would cry and cry and no one would help her. she would cry because it was court order that she had to go. the grandfather sexually molested my youngest daughter. there was evident to back it up. but the justice system did nothing. There were documents from their therapists and doctor's. yet the system failed me and my daughters. This is the most biggest mistake I ever made. I met back up with a friend of mine who I met when I was 14 years old. we always got along great. we started dating he moved in we were getting along really great my daughters liked him. He kept saying that you don't ever have to worry about me laying a hand on you and your daughters. " I DON'T BELIEVE IN HITTING WOMEN AND CHILDREN" that was the biggest lie I have ever heard in my life a year and a half later he twisted my wrist and arm. he had taken my daughters and went to his mom's. he called me and apologized. and he had the guts to have his friend come and get me. As many times as I have tried walking away from these types of abuse something always kept pulling me back into it. I lost custody of my children not because I was a bad mother., but because I was a single parent and out of spite. After I lost the custody of my daughters and we ended up moving in a trailer house on his mother's property. That is when he started to show his really true colors. I felt alone, I felt that they were always around and listening to everything I said. going through everything that were mine and my daughter's. They would not allow me to go to the mailbox and get my own mail. They would go to my job and keep a tab on me to make sure that I wasn't talking to any guys. I did get my daughters back. But it was the verbal, emotional, mental, physical and sexual abuse he torment me with and then to physical abuse my middle daughter to where he almost killed her. he was arrested and yes a restraining order was put into place. he was ordered to go to anger control classes, and both of us were court order to attend marriage counseling.. okay what is that going to solve. he almost killed my daughter, there is a restraining order against him and I am suppose to go with him to marriage counseling. which he stopped after the second one. because we each had a turn to say what is the problem with the other spouse. he did not like what I had to say so he picked up his coffee cup and stormed out of the meeting. I stayed and I talked to the counselor and I continued to go and talk to her. I had to arrange them when he was at work. But I did it. After 13 years of marriage we finally separated. both him and his sister and the rest of his family put a restraining order against me and a mutual one the judge put on both parties which was a good thing. We have been separated for 7 years and I am in the process of getting the divorce processed and over with. I had to move out of the state of Minnesota and move to a new state. I did eventually move back to Minnesota. but far away from there... So its not so much that we don't want to walk away from the abuse, we can't because there is nothing the justice system will do to protect us from it happening again. you are only allowed to stay at a women's shelter with your children for 30 days. where do you go then... and who is going to help you if you live far away from your family and they come looking for you and find you and again stalking you. NO ONE, NOT EVEN THE COPS. Yes it puts the fear of God in you. you start to not only question yourself, but also you have to question whether this person is being nice and helpful or are they looking for something for themselves. I have been abused right in front of my own mother by my youngest brother. she came running to see if I was okay, when I told her to get him out of the there and I was going to call the cops instead of helping me out she protected him because he was her baby... It's like Hello you just seen what happen and you are protecting him... So it all comes down to this. We want a better life for ourselves and our children, we want to get out of the abusive relationship, we do not like not just ourselves, but our own children to become victims and eventually turns into abusers themselves. you want to meet the right guy or girl ( because yes believe it or not there is abusive women out there too) but for all the years of being abused . when the right person finally does come along , instead of embracing it and enjoying the wonderful relationship you have with that person you automatically do something to ruin the relationship and destroy it and then you meet someone else who gives you the same old story and you fall again for a abuser. Yes I agree turning to God for healing and faith is part of the healing process. but the victim themselves has want to have things change for the better in their lives... I finally bought a book one day called Boundaries when to say yes and when to say no. It describes everything in detail and it has quotes from the bible. After reading it I finally opened up my eyes and said hey it is not me it is them. Nobody like being the victim of anything..
I am so sorry you went through what you did to simply live. I am so disgusted angry, at times l can hardly talk. All of this dominance, control, violence against women all began thousands of years ago. I have, my mom did, daughters have and so on. Ever since the big lie told straight from the male dominated Bible women have been abused in every manner. It has to do with Eve giving Adam the apple. The lack of recourse, education, ownership of property etc you know the story, education l won't go into it, we women have never had a chance at life never. I have one question?? Who who died and gave the male all the power?? Who gave them ownership of the universe, the right to attack, kill, violate control, abuse everything that is beautiful, kill off everything that is beautiful. Who, why, what fear and inadequacies is within his soul. Who gave him permission? Why would a smart, intelligent woman accept desire his love, knowing she has, had no say in her life about her life when she married. Under the brief description l gave and there is so much more to it than l wrote. She married him for every human prosperity available that she did not have nor would have. As she grows, changes he feels loss of control at all costs he must who is boss! Who wears the pants in the family, he reverts back to a knuckle dragging Neanderthal. SAD SAD, for children to witness only to become abusers themselves, the victim looses trust, love, her life possibly and the abuser who had it all, beauty of love l do believe after the first, second black eye or beating life, love becomes going going gone.
It's really frightening how men abuse women when they come from each other. I think that any man who beats a woman is a coward because he'll abuse a woman but he'll think twice before doing so to a man.
So horrible, how can someone you love torture, beat, and constant mental, physical and verbal abuse treat them so unspeakable. God save these women and their children.
Broken people needs the LORD Jesus. This cycle of abuse and violence can continue from generation to generation without the intervention of the LORD using His wisdom.
Most important advice, ladies. It starts as heavy criticism, insults, and conditioning your mind to need them. Leave then before the violence begins, and safe yourself the trama. Speaking from personal experience
My sisters boyfriend many years ago did that to her as well. Drove her off the road, dragged her into his car and took off. Fortunately people saw it and called the police. She chose poorly with that guy but it's absolutely not her fault, it's HIS.
Although it's off topic. Men get abused daily in family courts. It's an epidemic that far exceeds DV abuse. Not sure how many relationships have DV but one day in family court and you'll see 90% of fathers being abused by the courts when it comes to children.
@@nunyabuisness7552 I totally agree. People seem to have forgotten how important dads are. Boys need someone to show them how to be a man and girls need someone to show them how a man should treat her. Not all fathers should be in their kids life or not be their main role model. Same with some mothers. But a consistent male influence (if not the father then a grandpa, uncle, ect.) is so important. Men aren't disposable.
Any mother that allows her children to be abused is no better than the abuser. Just leave with the children get help and never ever give them a second chance. You choose your partner your children have no choice get help no pride no shame just reach out please.
My nana always told us👉If ever a man hits you..grab the nearest thing and knock him out, then pack your bags and LEAVE as a leopard never changes its spots!
fireson23 I am so proud of you that you had the courage to leave. I hope you will notice when time progresses that it becomes easier. First take the time to heal your wounds. Best of luck
@fireson23 Yeah not to mention even if you have plans to leave it's just not that easy. Maybe you share a home, have kids, share money.
If he comes after you call 911 nothing else that's it he will not stop otherwise
Yo nana is my favorite lady.....
Kick the groin thats the weakest point
The first time is never the last time. Get away fast.
Jayne Dough no it's not Get Out
So true. The first time is a little difficult but after that it's a habit and never stops
Tell me about it.... Been there and wore the t-shirt!
Yup nd soon as they show the possession. .
They never change it just gets worse
He didn't "die a long time ago ". The man u fell in love with, NEVER EXISTED.
Daria B PREACH
I wish I could convince my brother that.
The exact same thing can be said for the woman who divorce-rapes a man. In fact, IT IS said !
"The exact same thing can be said for the woman who divorce-rapes a man. In fact, IT IS said !".
Agreed he was always the abuser and she should have left at the first sign of abuse... These men don't deserve to be in a relationship
Don't listen to them when they say "I will never do it again",. Coz they will.
I made a mistake and listened and it happened to me more than thrice and when I ran I never looked back.Please DO NOT STAY WITH A MAN WHO HITS YOU,INSULTS YOU ,OR EVEN ACTS LIKE THEY ARE ABOUT TO DO SOMETHING 🙏🙏
Worst mistake
not true, i never did it again cuz she died ayoooo
In fact, it will get worse. Abusers then use this against you, the fact that you tolerated past abuse. They will justify their abuse saying it was your fault. If you had not made them mad, you would have never been hit. I could go on and on about gas lighting, manipulation, control and the insane mind of the abuser. I would prefer to say: RUN and don't look back.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. -Maya Angelou
The son’s account is what really got me. His staring off while talking... breaks my heart.
This curse is all over the Whole World
@JudahBenLevi Caucasian? Call em white.
Caucasians are the people who live in the caucasus like Daghestanis, chechens. Etc
@JudahBenLevi white people people when they came to America we're often poor in escaping poor countries as well when America was initially formed. Some of them were escaping traumatic situations like the Irish which led to a lot of domestic abuse and alcohol abuse. Not saying you're wrong in any way shape or form there are certainly other cultures who are white who experienced or continue to experience this abuse heavily. I can tell you right now even in the US Modern Irish gypsies still struggle with this and have since the forming of the US... but you're not wrong and it's heartbreaking the other Injustice is that the group's you're referencing have dealt with. Particularly to note an unknown issue women of color are more likely to pass away after birth because Medical Personnel often take their complaints less seriously.... how terrifying is that!!! And it's something like three times more likely it's really bad
@@diesirae8954 Except Dagestanis are not an ethnicity. They are a district.
@@نادرالیراحمان Caucasian isn't an ethnic group, it's just a way for western white people to feel special.
So true. It seems that in the USA they try to make it seem like only Black women go through it.
When my father was beating me, he always made it seem like I was being "punished" for something. But the truth is he enjoyed it, it was his favorite pastime.
Mo finally someone that understands
I'm so Sorry 🥺
Me too... 😔
A sadistic man who was afraid to hit a grown woman, but a child posed no problem! So very sorry for your pain and mistreatment.
O my Goodness .That's scary
Being abused financially is very serious too!
That's the truth
Flowers & Roses 10
How do you mean?
@@roohickson I was going to ask this too?
Rosanna Miller
hate when people try to be cryptic and people just hit the like because they don't understand either lol
This is happening to me and I just don't know how to end this marriage, he frightens me so much and has hit me and run off many times leaving me distraught and battered. STUCK!
why men think it is okay to beat his wife, where it started, it happens all over the world. Personally, I think abusive men are cowards who has no self esteem and shallow
minded.
thank you
What we need is anther good ol' fashioned war. That way all the men can go off to fight, get killed in the millions, ergo, extremely few men and woman-beaters left , just like after WW1. Then the women can have their pick of whomsoever is left.
These men were not BORN abusers. They were raised to be so. What does that tell you about AUSTRALIAN culture as a whole ? A violent, child-abusing, woman-beating, drug-addicted, alcoholic nation (the highest consumers of alcohol on Earth per capita). They are reaping what they are sowing. So very, very CHRISTIAN of them ! And the women tolerate it ! They ENABLE it (He says he's sorry and he won't do it again !!) !
I wonder how the Aboriginals are faring ?
@@lordbane729 it's not just Australian, happens on my end in the USA. I was emotionally abused twice by two different guys. Not just physical. I am promising myself to never let myself be involved again. I told both of those guy's I'd never be in a relationship. I was never hit but as I said, not just physical. I have my own income, place, and car. I can do it all on my own without half the bs a partnership would put me through.
Bryce Thibodeaux so the only thing to do is to hit her?? There’s so many other solutions but you are too lazy to find one
Bryce Thibodeaux then leaaavvvveeee WTF!!!!
It happened to me, an educated woman who always swore no man would make me their punching bag!...but slowly, somehow over time..there I was. I made it out alive and I’m forever traumatized by it.
Bc there was nowhere to go to ❤
it is better to live alone than to have a devil companion.i am happy being a single
Ginger Whiskers sometimes I’m lonely being single, but it’s much better than being with the wrong man..
@@tinamarisia123 Or woman.
Yes indeed.
Preach
Ginger Whiskers ukr I love being single
The moment your man hits you even its the first time is a sign that he's gonna do it over and over again. Get out of that kind of relationship ladies. Trust me. He is going to hurt you again!
The Peaceful, Happy, and Bountiful Life they don’t start physical. Psychology abuse starts first.
@@Mum2cuties exactly and Peaceful doesnt understand that this is the reason the victims stay
Yeah, totally. And if they stop hitting but just use power and control such as monitoring, trackers, constant texting, lengthy unavailability, drug and alcohol dependency as an excuse, put downs, belittling and ridiculing, allowing their children to become involved too, thankfully that isn't abuse anymore. It's love. Ha, these people are seriously demented
Listening to her son made me cry 😭
Ladies if you need to feel desired to see your worth... then abusive men and women may target you. Know your worth and respectfully love yourselves!!! Practice and work on your sense of self... do not let anyone define who you are....
Thank you for including the abusive women in your comment.
Don't blame the abused for somehow choosing it. Oof.
I just read this comment and you said the right word, which is "target". That's what abusers do because domestic violence has always been and always will be about power and control, no love whatsoever.
@@jenniferwilcox9759of course women abuse but men are the main abusers especially since bible times!
God Bless You Sandy. I am sure that you have opened some eyes with this video. I too went through an abusive relationship some years back. I remarried but am a widow now. Now I am S and P (single and proud.) Today II have my children, my grandchildren, my home, and most important of all, my life. I do what i please when I please, and I go where I please when I please. I think that the biggest lesson that I learned from being in relationships is that there is nothing better than having peace of mind and that there is nothing out there that can replace that.
Teach the children and the adults about Narcissism.
Amen! Way more prevalent in today’s society.
I am in agreement with teaching young adults about emotional abuse and what to look out for in schools, it should be mandatory in all schools in the world to be honest with you. Not sure if it would stop, but at lease I know it would help loads.
Don't teach them just give them a dictionary.
@@shinebrightlikeadiamond6411 Exactly. Education about manipulative behaviour and problematic personality types and disorders, combined with assertiveness training, would be extremely helpful to future generations. I don't know if it should be mandatory, but it should be highly encouraged and popularised, at least. If I ever have children, I would love to teach them all about such things.
cant believe he was allowed to get out of jail after doing such horrendous stuff to this lady ? how is police so lenient with such people? he almost killed her mentally tortured her for years and yet the police holds him for 1 night and lets him go with a restraining order? what Kind of LAW IS THIS?
I totally agree Ala. It's kind of like this in America too. And restraining orders can be simply useless. These orders hold no power for your protection. I don't understand what has happened to men. Men used to be so different years ago.
Ala mode Australian law
Ala mode
I have had restraining orders and they do nothing. He was still able to get me
@@ivyvines6708 A lot of abuse originates from financial stress. Years ago, men were able to earn enough to support their families. Plus, illegal street drugs were not epidemic.
Ala mode The police allow men to go free whose wives have “disappeared.” One case, so famous, has been made into an internationally known podcast; the husband, a well-known rugby player and sports teacher, was having an affair with one of his high school students. He moved her into the house he and his wife had built. Amazingly, the next week, his wife had “left him to join a religious cult,” leaving behind her two baby girls, her dream house, her very close family-mom, dad and siblings-and her husband whom she adored. She just disappeared, left home, never took money, keys, clothes, jewelry in 1982 and has never been seen again.
What did the police do? Zip all. The husband was a footy star! No one bothered to investigate her disappearance until at least 10 years later. Three Coronial Inquests declared the husband to be a person of interest in her disappearance, but the police kept claiming he was innocent. FINALLY, this year, after all the fuss of the podcast, was he finally arrested, thirty plus years after her disappearance. Her daughters, caught in the middle of this family chaos were too young to remember their mother, and clung to the only parent they knew, their dad, even after it became clear that he was no innocent bystander.
The police are often less than useless in DV cases.
I suffered 10 years of emotional abuse... I will never trust another man.
It's good that you have some one to trust some of us can't trust anyone both have messed my life up
Just learn to trust yourself, even in getting to know people or having a relationship.
I DONT TRUST ANYTHING MEN SAY
Its ashame that you endured this for so long that you feel you could never trust a man again... I wish you wouldn't give your ex that power... Its just about proceeding with caution
Its ashame that you endured this for so long that you feel you could never trust a man again... I wish you wouldn't give your ex that power... Its just about proceeding with caution
Sandy Wolf is so incredibly well-spoken about the trauma and abuse she and her family endured. I'm in awe of her strength and bravery in speaking out like this, in the name of awareness and prevention.
I'm sorry - what is brave about putting your children through this abuse for TEN YEARS!! No strength - just weakness....her son was locked in a bathroom for 7 years only to be let out for school and chores....what is brave about letting it carry on for so long????
Lynette Rall Exactly. You hit the nail on the head. I knew women who left after the first signs of violence and stayed hidden without their batterers knowing where they were. Women who stay in abusive relationships are exposing and endangering their children to violence. Which is why children think violence is okay when they grow up.
@@lynette599 sure she stayed with him, and I don't think she's happy that her kids went through it too. but many times he literally threatened to kill her. which should have traumatized her and her kids enough that she felt literally imprisoned in her own home.
We shouldn't forget, every domestic abuse story starts with a love story. her love for him has probably been rooted for years so it's really not easy just to detach a behaviour from a feeling.
@@lynette599 ...I agree with you 100%
@@lynette599 Do you not know that the most dangerous time is when the victim tries to leave or has left? They will hunt you down and kill you anyway, and the kids too, and in some cases your whole family who take you in and try to protect you and the children. They are no safer after they leave.
Sandy is so strong. Bless her and her children
As a man I find this a disgrace. I have never n will never touch my wife with anger. I used to have a bad temper but would just walk away. I gave n turned my life over to Jesus Christ n now have no temper or at least can controll my feelings n just let things roll off. I used to have no patience driving n would be so mad at others n now I have the patience it takes in todays world n could not have accomplished this without Jesus guiding me. God Bless n always love God above everything else n love ur neighbor as yourself!!
Zeus Von Rafiel congrats for turning over if you more want to calm down more focus on good positive thinking and manners turn to vegan and raw vegan foods that will make your life more wonderful and beautiful mental and physically , God blesses
Lord teach me more of this from this man like him
@Shruti⁷ thanks.... God Bless
N to let u all know it was not easy but every time I would start to loose it I wouls pray and this was the help I needed. Jesus is wonderful n even though He does not appear to ur face He is always there by ur side. Love u all n God Bless
@Shruti⁷ 10 years with the same gorgeous woman n adopting our first child then will reverse my vasectomy and try to make our own. Thanks for tge compliment. God Bless
The moment he puts his hand on you OR talks abusively towards you, be certain of this; HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU...INSTEAD HE BELIEVES HE OWNS YOU.
ITS NOT LOVE, ITS OWNERSHIP!!!
AGAIN !!....What's LOVE ??
@@lordbane729 LOVE is kindness, gentleness, being long suffering, goodness, love is long enduring, love is benevolent toward the loved, love is not quick to anger and love is not self willed and never insists on having my own way.
@@benban8055 You clearly DO NOT understand sarcasm,. DO YOU ???
Like I need lessons in "love" from the likes of you.
BBBWWWWWWHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@@lordbane729 You asked a question..... I provided the answer.
If you say it's sarcasm, that's fine.
Your second comment speaks volumes though. When you say "the likes of you", what exactly do you mean?
I know for a fact that you don't know me, so how can you make a claim based off of ignorance buddy. That says a lot, you dig?
@@lordbane729 Love endures with patience and serenity, love is kind and thoughtful, and is not jealous or envious; love does not brag and is not proud or arrogant. Love is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; it does not take into account a wrong endured. It does not rejoice at injustice, but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail]. Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening].
Love never fails [it never fades nor ends].
This guy is a monster, locking his son in a bathroom and beating him like that for nothing.
Liz trainer the first women. I bet she just stood there and did nothing while her son was being bashed. She needs to be in jail for allowing child abuse.
@@farzarnafazli5123 You are an insane misogynist.
@Shelley Fitch if my husband hit my son we would be gone in half a second. That pathetic cow just stood there. The truth is her husband was more important to her. Simple as that.
@Shelley Fitch wake up to yourself. Your mother is a pathetic loser. What kind of mother could just stand there and watch her children being abused.
Shelley Fitch I am truly appalled by Farzama Fazli’s comments to you. I know they were made 12 months ago, but I just wanted to say you are so correct. I have not experienced DV myself, but I work with many women who have and I know how hard it is to leave those relationships. It is a source of frustration to try to get those who know little of DV and its impact to understand the complexities of why women stay.
My aunt was badly treated by her husband she was partially blind and He was very cruel until she hit him with a heavy frying pan, he was better with her afterwards he was a coward
She stayed with him after he left her partially blind?
@@mariancounsellor read it again....smh. She WAS partially blind. She defended herself and her home.
You can find the weakness in a man”when he uses his strength on a woman” WORDS OF KNOWLEDGE !!!!!!
Yes
"Love should be unconditioned, and when someone starts putting conditions on you, they don't love you. They just wanna control you."
If a man hits you once, leave him. He won't change, and if you stay, it will get worse
I cannot go into detail here .... I'm lucky to be alive. It happened in 1987 to 1989. My first husband the sociopath.
I am happy you are out blessings live a beautiful life
@Maria Papadakis thank you ❤
This is so heartbreaking, for those affected, for the children
As mums we need to raise our boys to know that domestic violence is not ok. We have to teach them how to behave in their relationships. Dads need to teach their boys to be respectful. Parents get too busy with money making to pay attention to teaching their kids manners. And courts need to come down harder on perportraitors.
@kshitij924 and traditional? um nOPE
No women should be subservient to any man. @kshitij924
@kshitij924 by traditional you mean, never fight back and shut up, obey to every demand from your husband? yeah thats a nope
@kshitij924
Traditional means if some stranger groped a girl on train , then she should never tell to anyone or make a scene because good girls never got harassed but the only bad ones as they provoke men to do that.
Right kshitij?
@@ladygrace2741 same goes for men .. .
I also feel so sad for the 3 kids.
Violence is not acceptable no women's should be treated bad or hurt it's not okay😡☹️
Gessell Gonzalez and no men too
still no excuse to be violent towards women "logic genius" lmao. Deflection is a crazy thing.
Leslie Angela it’s not deflection or an excuse. Let be honest here, it takes two to tango. I grew up in a house of domestic violence and distinctly remember my mom popping off and getting my dad going until it was a knock down drag out. I used to get so upset, and ask myself “why is she doing that, why did she start a fight and starting up all this yelling”. As an adult, I tended to fall into relationships with that same potential toxicity, and learned I have control and can walk away before it comes to that. Life is about choices, let’s not just oil the squeakiest wheel here, which is the end of the game woman-with-Black-eye, let’s look at the whole picture. We all are responsible for ourselves and the lives we choose to live, both parties in domestically violent relationships are equally sick.
@@leslieangela9114 idiot, there is no excuse to initiate violence against ANYONE, not just women but men too...we dont have to distinguish that its bad to harm just women...its bad to harm ANYONE and if u got a problem with it being stated that way then u are part of the problem
You became dssensitized and think that your mother deserved her abuse . You can talk and scream until you’re blue in the face but the moment you put your hands on her it’s game over . I hope you realize women aren’t meant to be abused and men aren’t meant to be violent towards women.
Men that hit women are cowards, u don't own yr wife/partner.
Lack of respect is the main problem. ☝️🇦🇺
Sabah Eternity absolutely correct
Very true, but what is called when a man is beat by his spouse and the. The police are called on him for pushing that woman away.
Sabah Amal I'm sure you know what's up.
@Donald Clark really one in five men getting abused by a woman i doubt that very much, how often do you hear of a male be murdered by a woman, you don't. But if ever that's the case it's im sure it's self defense
My ex hurt me for over a quarter of a century and I can honestly say they only get worse never do they stop only God can change them and only if they want to change.
Like the old adage says, "once they do it the first time, they will do it again".
I NEVER EVER thought I'd say this about a man who has hurt a woman, but I respect that guy making the films. I've never heard an abuser speak. He actually took full responsibility for his actions and stayed in treatment for 2 years instead of 6 month!!! I'm a survivor both as a child and adult of domestic violence. It's not just Australia. It's every country. I have to agree that simply jailing them isn't the answer. Offer them treatment. Offer them help because they are broken and if you don't offer them help, the cycle won't end until someone dies. Let's also not forget that not only we women are victims of domestic violence. Men are too. And they're even less likely than us to report it. One of the first DV ads I ever saw, when I was young, said it best... love shouldn't hurt.
I really like your comment. I totally agree that that guy Jerry is right. Unless we work to change the perpetrator they just move onto the next relationship. We can’t lock them up forever.
The trying to get away in the car....I went thru similar. I'd left him because of abuse and was waiting on the divorce to be final. He saw me in traffic on day and rode his motorcycle BETWEEN cars, as we were waiting for the light to change, to get to me. He then reached over and pounded on my window then kicked my door. Thank God the light changed and there were so many witnesses. Someone saw what he'd done and called the police on my behalf. He was arrested. He would stalk me everywhere after that! I finally just up and moved 600miles away without telling anyone. Gotta get away ladies. Gotta run. I know it's harder when you have children with them but you can get help.
Robin Murray the court system ought to have the abusers rights taken so they can't see the kids any more
wow that's horrible. tbh I find it embarrassing that someone would chase someone in broad daylight in a car, like all his self-control just flew out the window... happy that he's locked up!!!
If someone insists on doing you physical harm to the point of killing you, the solution is simple. HAVE. THEM. KILLED. Or do you lack the guts to do even that ? If so, don't complain about the danger you are in. If this sounds harsh to the point that your "feelings" are wounded, it is not meant to be. Simply a cold, hard acceptance of a colder, harder Reality.
Been there. Done that. KNOW how it turns out !
This happens on a daily basis in every county, every city, and every country on the planet, it's a massive disgrace.
Agreed
But in Australia it is epic.
You just repeated what the prime minister says 🙄🙄
@@대왕의길 .... That may be so, however, it's true worldwide, global citizens are almost to the point where a massive extermination of evil is going to take place shortly.
Since bible times!
Lack of trust, poor self-esteem, mental health issues, emotional issues, alcoholism, drugs
LACK OF EDUCATION leads to low self-esteem
I don't think it's the substance abuse, that mentality is already there just less inhibited. As for mental health, there's also a lot of people who have mental illness and don't abuse. Depends on the disorder and how they are raised
Any day a man raise his hand to hit me,that hand not going to come down cause it’s going to be separated from the body
This is crazy, I live in a small town and the last "murder " happened in 2013. A couple was well known by the police, due to many calls for domestic violence. One day this lady called because her husband was just released from jail and very drunk, banging on her door, trying to break in. While he was in jail she filed a restraining order and bought a gun. He was able to break down the door and as soon as he stepped into the house she shot him. He didn't survive and once the police arrived they said it was justified. I am so happy to know this lady in the video made it out of her nightmare alive. This is hard to see and hear what this lady and many go through all over the world every day 💔
this is crazy, how was that man who physically and mentally tortured her for years able to get let out of jail???? wtf is going on?!?!
Yeah it happens all day long. We don't get the help we need
Smelly DOnut Exactly! But there’s no was on women..
Men are complaining that women are not interested in being with them anymore, when you hear these stories is anyone surprised!? 🙄
Woman do it a lot , they hit on men , but most men will tolerate it because they don't want too get the person/s in trouble , or admit too anyone as it goes under the radar. If people served God proper they would love each other and harm , hurt , steal , covet , etc. People are responsible for their own actions.
@Bryce Thibodeaux there is an article on abuse. So. Many women are abused, is this what men are 🤔'bringing to the table' and should women be impressed by abuse and disrespect
@KR Micro PP geh I'm sure you will be fine all alone in your kitchen
No surprise at all, I'm beginning to not want to live with another man never again. I don't hate all men but honestly, a lot of happy women are single. Relationship is hard work, especially if you live with a control freak, that's is the worst relationship you want to be in, emotionally abuse is no joke.
@Atatürk القائد Oh what an original sentiment,did your mommy help you write this? Must have used up what brain cells you had left.
Domestic violence is happening even at homes where we least expect it to be
Rosy Sangi absolutely. I felt ashamed for many years afterwards..
True from mizoram
Sandy Wolfe youre a hero, you and your brave kids.
I'm sorry - she is no hero to me - she put her children through this for TEN YEARS!!
Lynette Rall
have u watched the video?? please do?? she has kids it's not as easy as picking up a few valises and renting an apartment.. he follows her and rams her car after she moves..she's been threatened so many times maybe look at what fear does?? when you're in a refugee and still get run off the road would you feel safe?? would you have the guts to leave??
@Logic genius
BULL!!!!
Poor Sandy, what a strong woman ❤️
Much respect for the good men in our world who stand up for and step in to protect women. And for men who come to their senses, have remorse, take responsibilty for their actions and decide to change. There was and example of both in this documentary. Wish the absolute best for this woman and her children.
Linda C like Forrest Gump when he punches Jenny’s boyfriend for slapping her at the black panther party
@@Will.Flavell Yes! :)
Imagine this domestic violence combined with a 24/7 stay at home ? That’s what Saudi women endure daily there, i’m Italian but i spent 10 years there
Trinity DiCamillo
What’s wrong ,can’t look in the mirror
What were you doing there ?
Australian men, and immigrant males to Australia are far too common as abusers to Australian woman and their families.
@@dcbeez5956,
Hear! HEAR!!!!
Ye right stop laying
Why are dirtbags like these easier to find than guys who are genuinely kind?!
because genuine good people are hard to find... also, abusive men tend to be very charming and charismatic when you first meet them
r/ nice guys ...
elsa1942 there are still nice good decent men that know how to treat a woman with love,respect,kindness,tenderness. I can say this because I’m one of these good men
I think it’s because a lot of women are instinctively attracted to a-hole guys. Nice guys fail to push the buttons that turn women on. How many men who were “too nice” get passed over? Not until those women grow up, and by then all the nice guys are taken. Nice = pushover to many women, and a-hole = strong. People don’t realize how much our instincts drive partner selection.
Moose Overlord there is a reason why they are said to be "too nice" and not "too funny"
i mean nice n distant is pretty much a default for human interaction
Self defense should be a woman's first priority before even getting to high school !
That would only make thing's worse
Svetla Nikolova we should never need to have self defence! These monsters were raised, change this pattern.
Might help you out if you get attacked by a stranger on the street but not in a domestic violence situation. Maybe if you got a psychology degree along with it so you could defend yourself against the inevitable emotional abuse that went along with the physical. And besides, a man with this kind of disposition is never going to go for the kind of woman who is adept at defending herself.
@@luns486 true true
No. The priority should be teaching and then holding to account all of these brutal men. Duh.
Why would they let the children stay in the house when the man has been accused of abusing their mother? Maybe she wouldn't of gone back to him if the cops had gone and gotten her kids out of there when she left the first time. Its understandable that she went back to protect her kids.
Yes. That's the ridiculous thing. You would think in this day and age cops and the courts would be alot more switched on about domestic violence situations. Some cops are still so ignorant about DV incidents.
Excellent point. I thought it was an automatic deal breaker with DHS, CPS or whatever they call the agency that protects children. Maybe someone forgot to notify them of the charges? When I've heard of it the alleged perpetrator is forced to leave until an investigation is complete or else they take the children.
This is how a lot of kids are murdered. They know by killing the kids that it will hurt the woman. 😔
You have to prove that he is hurting the children also. Don't ask me how I know. It's sick
A Restraining Order is like waving a red flag in front of a bull! They will get even!
Some restraining orders. A judge can put many possible sentences for violating a Protective Order. Depending on where you live it could be many years in prison. For many DV cases that aren't nearly to this level of violence a possible 5 year sentence instead of a slap on the wrist would likely work. This man however wanted her dead at any cost.
@@nunyabuisness7552 In my experience, the abuser will get even if he can get away with it. A charming narcissist will treat others like gold, but in the home it becomes a nightmare for his victim. So those victimized are seldom believed. I lived it far too long. He did get even when I left. Now I live alone, too. I like the comment that the man she fell in love with never existed.
@@93pljohnson
I had the exact same issue and was being tortured for many years, I know really what's the meaning of Family Domestic violence with a narcsis person as a husband and a father..
Alex Klatt The advantage of a restraining order is helps the police to get a conviction. You have to prove an offence beyond reasonable doubt. Assaults, unless the victim is badly injured, are often he said, she said. The police cannot tell who is telling the truth. If there is an order not to go near her, then it is much easier to prove a breach.
The standard wording is not to contact the woman. sometimes there are exceptions such as in accordance with a family law order. In the scenario described in the video of Sandy being run off the road, it does not matter if his version of him winding down the window was accepted. He was trying to contact her, that is a breach and it is much easier to prove.
The issue for Sandy was the sentence was fairly light. If her husband was required to undertake a men’s behaviour change in prison, then 3 years in prison may be sufficient. However, I doubt he was required to one of those programs or that his parole depended on it.
not necessarily. Ive seen them keep abusers in check. it all depends on what country, the relationship, what stage its in and also the womans support system. ive noticed if a woman is still trying to spend time with the abuser or if they have kids together and have to see each other due to that, problems occur
I'm never getting married or just getting in a relationship in general. This is giving me too much anxiety man.
I have only been the victim of domestic violence on one occasion and it was horrible. When the guy who was making the film talked about the rage, it gave me a flashback of the rage that I saw come towards me from my partner. He was not a big guy, but with his blind rage, fueled with alcohol, I was so scared. He was out of control and for some reason I needed to be hurt. That was a very scary moment in time. I can't imagine how these women live with it for years. It must just break them down totally
It does and you are in fear of him. Most men tell their victims that they are worthless. That's what happened in my case. He repetedly told me that I was fat and ugly and that I was lucky that he'd married me. He also said that no one else would ever want me.
After hearing this day after day i started to believe him. I didn't realize that I was a beautiful woman. I know It now and have pics of myself from that ok time period. When I look at them now, I see a beautiful young woman. At the time I,was neither fat or ugly. My wedding dress was a size 12. I looked so young, sweet and innocent. I was all of that and more. There was so much much talent waiting to be developed within me.
I have developed so much. since then. I do not sit back and allow anyone to abuse me , be it emotional, verbal or even physical. i won't allow it anyplace in my life
Nadine,you are too pretty to be with a narc 😈!
Not always violence.... but mentally controlling... very hard to get out when being blamed
It's worse when the female victim is actually the perpetrator and won't stop abusing the male who is marked perpetrator by abusing the system when there's actual victims that need the support. It's worse that men get laughed at or get told to prove it when they try reporting it when women need no proof at all
@@blahblahdrunksheep I think it's terrible too, because it's a slap in the face to real victims.
As a man I say any one who abuse their family regardless of gender should go to prison for life.
When my nose was broken i knew i had to get away😔
I hope you have found the happiness you deserve
How long did it happen for?
Im sorry
😪
@Katrina Morningstar sorry gal
If a man ever hit me, I don’t forgive or forget. My Ex tried it he will never forget me for the rest of his life.. I dealt with him! 🙈
well doneeeeee
Easier said than done for most. Even the most intelligent rich independent women.
A part of me agrees with what the “former preparator” said about having a rehabilitative program, as well as jail term because you are just focusing their anger even more. A lot of these men have been abused as well and are continuing the circle.
I always thought that this only happened in India, Bangladesh, Pakistan & Arabian... Sadly, it happen everywhere in this world.
My husband used to hit me too for 5 years early of our marriage. Untill on our 5th anniversarry, I told him if he put his hand one more time on me...thats it. I'm going to leave him forever. And I dont know why, since that he never put his hand on me anymore.
But during the abbusement, he used to hit me & tear my dress in public. He once hit me with a helmet & that is the caused I cant hear from my left side. And effected from all the violence, now Im suffering nerve problem. And still on specialist medication. The doctor told him that I might be parralyse one day. He knew all the suffering that Im having now is because of him.
Curious to why you didnt leave after the first time he hit you ?
Porque una mujer no escapa ?? Porque no solo maltratan fisicamente !! Porque el maltrate emotional es todavia peor !!! Porque te hacen creer que sin ellos no eres nada !!! Y el miedo te paraliza !! Sobre todo si no tienes donde pedir ayuda
It’s not always easy. You can be financially abused...no money. Nowhere to go, gaslighting by telling you that you can’t manage without the, until you believe it, fear that they will kill you if you leave like they have told you they will. Hoping stupidly that you can change them, that you still love them. Complete and utter confusion and desperation to the point where you actually can’t think any more. The most dangerous time for a victim of domestic abuse is immediately after they leave. That’s when they are most at risk of being killed. I have lived through this.
They also they do it because they can get away with it. Tell your family and they police, fam makes could threaten him and the police will put him in jail
Can you put a link to the published research papers that contain this information please.
I was abused for the past two decades. It's been horrendous, extremely unpleasant and unacceptable. I'd reported to police for more than two times. They gave him final chance if he were to beat me up again, they would go to his office to arrest him outright! He got the message loud and clear. He had stopped it ever since.
I grew up in the fifties..it was going on then...i witnessed it in my family
I hear some of my own past story in the stories of the women on this video. I'm a widow now, for ten years. Forgiveness is the key to going on with life. I so wish I would have left the very first time....Maybe if you're reading this, you've just experienced your "first time" of being abused? Please. Believe me. It will never stop. He may bring you flowers after every time he hurts you. But maybe the last time he brings you flowers will be to place them on your tombstone.
God bless Sandy and her kids especially her main man Aiden what a courageous young man❤❤❤
The man you "loved" was a fantasy! It was ALWAYS a monster that lived in that skin!
What kind of crappy cops don’t see that she was responding under duress 🤦♀️
Western Australian cops are a joke
She is so brave
I'm sorry - what is brave about putting your children through this abuse for TEN YEARS!!
I don't blame her she is brave why make a dumbass statement like that
She needed to have left after the first time
Imagine having your son watch you being treated like a dog
Who comes back from that?
when they abuse you, That ain't love
Yup nd remember chicks saying "He hits me cause he truly love me; hes sorry nd it won't happen again
Marissa Ramirez My Mother hit me. My Father hit me, both of my Sisters have hit me, the first Man I loved beat me up. Doctor in Hospital told me I was lucky not to have been blinded, or killed. The Courts dealt with him, he has a record. I got a life, a really good life and btw I have never hit anyone.
Men like this don't change. My father was abusive to my mother. I remember witnessing him slam her against a door and bang her head on the door several times, before I as a young boy, only 3 years old or so, told him to stop!. I am 39 years old now, and made a vow when I was a teenager and started dating to take a completely different path on how to treat women and never to hurt them. I was raised by a single mother and she did get away, but not all women do. Any woman who is going through this should understand, these kind of men are violent from the get go, you just have not seen it until it happens. They were most likely abused themselves, alcoholics, drug abusers or something is loose upstairs. Get out while you still can!
You made my heart happy! Thank you for breaking the cycle of abuse!!! It takes a REAL man to do that. And to consciously make that decision at such a young age shows how what you witnessed affected you in a positive way. Something ugly made you a better man. Sending you love and light! ♥
Thank god you are safe and locked him up, thank you for sharing God bless you and your family
Tauanava Moo CHING,hope you are not with a narc 😈!
Mom taught me from an early age to respect and uphold my self-worth and ditch those who think and/or behave otherwise. I'll pass this on to my future son and daughter.
The Australian justice system doesn't make sense at all.
I HATE ABUSERS , WELL DONE FOR ACCEPTING RESPONSIBILLITY
FEAR is the main reason for nt leaving! you become weak and scared, even believing that he will kill
In spite of such adversity Sandy has raised such beautiful children and it so brave in speaking out
Jail for any and all physical abuse. Period
Their masks.. Narcissists..because that is who they are. THEY Rip off THEIR MASKS after they have you trapped. Kill them if needed. .it may b U or HIm. Make it him
This Woman's life was unbelievable. How she said that beating over and over again is just mind-boggling. However, when that boy said his dad beat him with a belt and kept him in a bathroom only to let him out for school it's time to do something then. There is no man on this Earth it would take my son or daughter into a situation where he beat them with a belt constantly and place them in a room only to go out when needed for society. domestic violence is utterly disgusting but when it comes to your kids that turns into child abuse and that is totally unacceptable and cannot be tolerated. These children are ours to protect not to set up for beatings abuse neglect and some of them die. Our laws do not protect the victims but only give the abuser more time and chances to lash out and injure Mame and kill. domestic violence is a worldwide epidemic
I worked in human services for 40 years and I used to tell my clients that waited to leave until he goes after the children that he had been abusing the children before he ever raised a hand to them when he abused their mother. Glad you go out - I know it is hard.
The judges need education immediately because it is obvious they are completely ignorant
Correct. The judges need to know that often the woman is the main offender. This video is feminist propaganda. For the truth, see the following videos:
1. *Dr. Tonia Nicholls - The uncomfortable facts on IPV*
2. *Police Training for Domestic Violence with Donald Dutton* ... only 10 minutes
3. *Christina Hoff Sommers on Violence Against Women*
4. *Julio shares his experience with domestic violence & the justice system*
5. *The Truth About Domestic Violence - You'll Never Believe...*
Sarah Wadsworth yes but the judges do not seem to recognise the problem or be in anyway equipped to deal with it. It's not good enough to give a barring order when it's not worth the paper it's been written on! also the vast majority of complainers to police are not making it up despite what the rest of the trolls on this site think, and yes it does happen to men BUT the vast majority of abuse IS inflicted on women and children BY men
@@sicah8898 why do u feel the need to point out the "vast majority" abuse IS abuse, regardless of who did it. abuse is wrong and ILLEGAL either way. it seems like your issue is there needs to be better action than just a barring order, ok thats fine u maybe right....but that has nothing to do with male and female period. and where are ur statistics about "complainers" not lieing? there are PLENTY of false rape accusations also. im not even quite sure why u even brought up your opinion about people saying complainers make it up? what are u trying to say? what do u want done? what are ur solutions?
In the US, judges are allowed way too much leniency when sentencing for crimes. In the same state and county 2 judges with court rooms next to each other can have identical cases and sentence one to probation while another gets 7 years! I see similar things happen in the UK but unsure about Australia.
@@nunyabuisness7552 In the States I read about a woman trying to escape being abused physically who ran into the garage and grabbed a loaded pistol. She shot once into the ceiling to scare him off. She was the one who went to jail.
For what Sandy went through she is very well spoken women indeed and hope her all the best in the future
My heart breaks to hear someone going through domestic violence. I know a close family friend going through this and she has four children. I reached out to help them, but she’s still with him, I always inquire about the family.
Thank you Sandy for your brave story.
Being a victim of domestic myself know how hard it is just to walk away. Having been abused by my younger sister & brother I told my mom and she would do nothing. Because of her refusing to do anything to stop it. I have been in many different types of abusive relationships. I was engaged to marry my oldest daughters father. our daughter was 15 months old and one night he flipped out and tried strangling me. Thank God my best friend and her husband were living downstairs. they came upstairs and found him on top of me and trying to kill me. he would of succeeded if they had not come to my rescue. His own brother was there and he did nothing to stop it at all. he wanted his brother to grab our 15 month old daughter and leave. they stopped him from doing that, they left, the cops were called, my parents were called. They came a report was made, restraining order was put into place. But yet I feared for my daughter's and my own life. he fled the state with his brother and his sister. and then thought it was okay to get in touch with me. with him gone I was able to start putting my life back together again.. I never went back to him. But he did succeeded at one thing. Every time someone doesn't matter if it is a male or female raising their voices at me I start to walk backwards afraid that if I turn my back that they would kill me or my 3 daughters or all 4 of us.. once my oldest one was 3 years old. I met this guy ( who I was forced to marry) after having two more daughters with him. again flipped out. this time I was not only thrown up against the wall, but he tried choking me and threaten to kill me and the 3 girls. The youngest one was between 6 to 7 months old. I had my oldest one gather somethings together, and get herself and her one sister out and into the car, well I grabbed the baby, my purse and her diaper bag and got us all into the car. I locked the car doors and started the car. he sat in front of the car and would not move. I did managed to get us out of there. We went to my parents and the cops were called. Again another restraining order was put into place against this one. i had a very good friend of mine move in with me, so at least there was someone there to witness anything that would happen and to also help my friend out. He would stalk me at night by sitting in his car across the street late at night and watch me, my daughters, and my friend. eventually we did get divorce. but for many many years his pwn parents would stalk me and my daughters nothing was done to them for doing that. soenthey were entitled to visitation with the two younger ones. only to find out that they were locking my middle daughter outside in the winter time, locked in the basement , locked in a closet. she would cry and cry and no one would help her. she would cry because it was court order that she had to go. the grandfather sexually molested my youngest daughter. there was evident to back it up. but the justice system did nothing. There were documents from their therapists and doctor's. yet the system failed me and my daughters. This is the most biggest mistake I ever made. I met back up with a friend of mine who I met when I was 14 years old. we always got along great. we started dating he moved in we were getting along really great my daughters liked him. He kept saying that you don't ever have to worry about me laying a hand on you and your daughters. " I DON'T BELIEVE IN HITTING WOMEN AND CHILDREN" that was the biggest lie I have ever heard in my life a year and a half later he twisted my wrist and arm. he had taken my daughters and went to his mom's. he called me and apologized. and he had the guts to have his friend come and get me. As many times as I have tried walking away from these types of abuse something always kept pulling me back into it. I lost custody of my children not because I was a bad mother., but because I was a single parent and out of spite. After I lost the custody of my daughters and we ended up moving in a trailer house on his mother's property. That is when he started to show his really true colors. I felt alone, I felt that they were always around and listening to everything I said. going through everything that were mine and my daughter's. They would not allow me to go to the mailbox and get my own mail. They would go to my job and keep a tab on me to make sure that I wasn't talking to any guys. I did get my daughters back. But it was the verbal, emotional, mental, physical and sexual abuse he torment me with and then to physical abuse my middle daughter to where he almost killed her. he was arrested and yes a restraining order was put into place. he was ordered to go to anger control classes, and both of us were court order to attend marriage counseling.. okay what is that going to solve. he almost killed my daughter, there is a restraining order against him and I am suppose to go with him to marriage counseling. which he stopped after the second one. because we each had a turn to say what is the problem with the other spouse. he did not like what I had to say so he picked up his coffee cup and stormed out of the meeting. I stayed and I talked to the counselor and I continued to go and talk to her. I had to arrange them when he was at work. But I did it. After 13 years of marriage we finally separated. both him and his sister and the rest of his family put a restraining order against me and a mutual one the judge put on both parties which was a good thing. We have been separated for 7 years and I am in the process of getting the divorce processed and over with. I had to move out of the state of Minnesota and move to a new state. I did eventually move back to Minnesota. but far away from there... So its not so much that we don't want to walk away from the abuse, we can't because there is nothing the justice system will do to protect us from it happening again. you are only allowed to stay at a women's shelter with your children for 30 days. where do you go then... and who is going to help you if you live far away from your family and they come looking for you and find you and again stalking you. NO ONE, NOT EVEN THE COPS. Yes it puts the fear of God in you. you start to not only question yourself, but also you have to question whether this person is being nice and helpful or are they looking for something for themselves. I have been abused right in front of my own mother by my youngest brother. she came running to see if I was okay, when I told her to get him out of the there and I was going to call the cops instead of helping me out she protected him because he was her baby... It's like Hello you just seen what happen and you are protecting him... So it all comes down to this. We want a better life for ourselves and our children, we want to get out of the abusive relationship, we do not like not just ourselves, but our own children to become victims and eventually turns into abusers themselves. you want to meet the right guy or girl ( because yes believe it or not there is abusive women out there too) but for all the years of being abused . when the right person finally does come along , instead of embracing it and enjoying the wonderful relationship you have with that person you automatically do something to ruin the relationship and destroy it and then you meet someone else who gives you the same old story and you fall again for a abuser. Yes I agree turning to God for healing and faith is part of the healing process. but the victim themselves has want to have things change for the better in their lives... I finally bought a book one day called Boundaries when to say yes and when to say no. It describes everything in detail and it has quotes from the bible. After reading it I finally opened up my eyes and said hey it is not me it is them. Nobody like being the victim of anything..
All I can say is:The life we have is not life at all.
Sounds like you like losers
I am so sorry you went through what you did to simply live.
I am so disgusted angry, at times l can hardly talk.
All of this dominance, control, violence against women all began thousands of years ago.
I have, my mom did, daughters have and so on.
Ever since the big lie told straight from the male dominated Bible women have been abused in every manner.
It has to do with Eve giving Adam the apple.
The lack of recourse, education, ownership of property etc you know the story, education l won't go into it, we women have never had a chance at life never.
I have one question??
Who who died and gave the male all the power??
Who gave them ownership of the universe, the right to attack, kill, violate control, abuse everything that is beautiful, kill off everything that is beautiful.
Who, why, what fear and inadequacies is within his soul.
Who gave him permission? Why would a smart, intelligent woman accept desire his love, knowing she has, had no say in her life about her life when she married.
Under the brief description l gave and there is so much more to it than l wrote.
She married him for every human prosperity available that she did not have nor would have.
As she grows, changes he feels loss of control at all costs he must who is boss! Who wears the pants in the family, he reverts back to a knuckle dragging Neanderthal.
SAD SAD, for children to witness only to become abusers themselves, the victim looses trust, love, her life possibly and the abuser who had it all, beauty of love l do believe after the first, second black eye or beating life, love becomes going going gone.
I'll never understand people who expect sympathy for being abusers.
The man that you loved a long time ago didn’t change. He never existed.
It's really frightening how men abuse women when they come from each other. I think that any man who beats a woman is a coward because he'll abuse a woman but he'll think twice before doing so to a man.
Malignant Narcissists... laws still need to be changed so much more!
So horrible, how can someone you love torture, beat, and constant mental, physical and verbal abuse treat them so unspeakable. God save these women and their children.
First love of my life was a sociopath, person I ended up having a kid with another sociopathic psycho. Too many of them.
Broken people needs the LORD Jesus. This cycle of abuse and violence can continue from generation to generation without the intervention of the LORD using His wisdom.
This happens all over the world
In all levels of profession, sad situations for all victims of violence 😞😞
This is why I'm never getting into a relationship.
Guy want to take credits for everything they want the wife to praise them even they not doing nothing special
Most important advice, ladies. It starts as heavy criticism, insults, and conditioning your mind to need them. Leave then before the violence begins, and safe yourself the trama. Speaking from personal experience
Ladies, these men hate you. That;s so hard but they hate you, get away from them.....
Thankyou for making this
I experienced domestic violence in Canada! The system is so flawed here as well. I'm so lucky I escaped the way I did and hope others can safely
It is flawed here. There are precisely zero resources for male domestic violence victims in Canada. Male victims are on there own.
My sisters boyfriend many years ago did that to her as well. Drove her off the road, dragged her into his car and took off. Fortunately people saw it and called the police. She chose poorly with that guy but it's absolutely not her fault, it's HIS.
Sick twisted man.
Thank you survivors for video.
Not one word about the statistics on women who abuse men.
Although it's off topic. Men get abused daily in family courts. It's an epidemic that far exceeds DV abuse. Not sure how many relationships have DV but one day in family court and you'll see 90% of fathers being abused by the courts when it comes to children.
There are none.
@@nunyabuisness7552 I totally agree. People seem to have forgotten how important dads are. Boys need someone to show them how to be a man and girls need someone to show them how a man should treat her. Not all fathers should be in their kids life or not be their main role model. Same with some mothers. But a consistent male influence (if not the father then a grandpa, uncle, ect.) is so important. Men aren't disposable.
Prayers to Sandy 😷🙏
Annett Strahan,your pretty smile ☺️ can make the news!
There is no doubt that domestic violence in Australia is a massive problem but there is also the problem of false allegations
Any mother that allows her children to be abused is no better than the abuser. Just leave with the children get help and never ever give them a second chance. You choose your partner your children have no choice get help no pride no shame just reach out please.