I'm a student counselor and I find this tactic too intrusive for my style. But I imagine it would work well for some clients. I prefer taking a curious approach and using the Socratic method to help clients learn for themselves what isn't working for them.
I think you are right, interrupting can be intrusive if not done effectively. Since my role is to help, I find it helpful to challenge people when the are doing something potentially harmful. Not everyone wants to be taught in therapy. For those that don't, this kind of interruption would be obnoxious.
Yes, the power of therapy is being allowed the space to discover your own inner world in all it's magnificence. It is not about the therapist. Carl Rogers describes this very well where he would allow his clients the time and space to play with words if they needed in order to articulate their feelings or experience in a way that empowered them, freed them, developed their own voice and all that comes with it. My daughter used to say that the best thing about her therapist was that, if my daughter just wanted to go in one evening and sit quietly and see what, if anything emerged in her, the therapist was perfectly happy to let her have that space and didn't feel the need to fill the silence, which would be more about the therapist than the client. It can sound appealing, as if they can teach or tell you your own answers, but once you have that experience of being HEARD and taking ownership of your own space, both inner and outer, you don't need all that talking and challenging and interrupting. I'm a very Adlerian thinker. If a person says one thing but does another, then they are doing what they want. Is it our job to get them to own that? I don't think so since it will make no difference, especially if avoidance is what they want. One psychologist I know sometimes asks a client, genuinely, 'What was that like for you?' or 'What must that have felt like for you?. This imparts not only a powerful validation and empathy but also makes the person feel valued and valid, maybe for the first time ever. It also awakens them to ask themselves the same question, which opens up their own inner space and let's them explore and eventually develop it as they choose.
As a71 year old who has lad a life of interpersonal difficulties, and to such a degree that for about 8 yeares when I was growing up was subjected to intensive peer violence (bullies weren't regulated back in the 50's as they more often are today), my concern was always the ways in which the orogonal poroblem was mishandled. This, in PRIORITY to the original suffering issue. Some have given the excuse that people didn't know back than,k but this I see as a gray zone: "Whewre there wasn't a way, there wasn't a will." Effectively I was left to solve my own problems because even the professonals never got to that approach properly and anywhere in time. Part and parcel of the rotten history of the baby b oomer generation, although I was actually born in the tail end of WWII. In the expected sense,m it is too late for me, but my staunchly independent research never stops. Ironically, many things I knew myself, now appear in scholarly papers on the internet, typically coming from universities and authors usually touting PhD's in Psychology. But if academic savvy is not being applied as it needs to, one might smell a touch of Ludditeism! As If I had not ferreted out a LOT of that hypocricy over the decades. In a democratic country, if the government cannot face imposing what is sustainable from a mental health and sociological standpoint for fear of political suicide, to what ethic can we expect any professional who has to earn his bread and butter, to adhere in the face of what, years ago, an old and very woise neighbour in his latter years called simply "The Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire"?
I see that you left this message 5 years ago and I truly hope you get this from me. I completely agree with you and am very, very sorry that so much was taken from you in your early life. As it happens, I studied law but later did all of my postgrad in... you guessed it: Developmental neuroscience. What your experience did was, not shocking to you I'd wager, caused developmental trauma. The impact of that, as you well know, can and often does last a lifetime. I think you may have been better served by the lawyer in me since I cannot endure letting someone else get kicked down. I have had that experience and I will say my teachers did everything they could to help. However, my daughter was brutally bullied in her very 'high thinking and enlightened' school and, you are absolutely correct when you say: 'But if academic savvy is not being applied as it needs to, one might smell a touch of Ludditeism! As If I had not ferreted out a LOT of that hypocricy over the decades.' I may have let out a Hooray shout that woke the house. What I found in her school was that the management were so bogged down in their 'ethos' (puke) and pretty words that they never developed the actual skill that it takes to take on the very often belligerently defensive parent behind the most vicious kids. My son' school, on the other hand, had that one down and I loved having the privilege of seeing them work effectively and definitely to stop a bullying problem in its tracks. They didn't need the 'ethos' or the lingo (which bullies tend to hide behind anyway). They were excellent role models for the students and many of the adults as well. What my daughter went through was appalling and they just floated about in the clouds and because they didn't want to use blame or shame, which I can agree with, they did nothing. It is possible to address conflict situations effectively without being adversarial, which demands a high degree of skill and maturity, which my son's school had, and an expectation on the students that this was the only way to behave. If they couldn't, then there were real consequences, real accountability. Avoiding this does not help us raise civil and effective adults. I chose that school for my son because their actions spoke louder than words and it shows on him and how well mannered he is and how he treats people. Our kids will be right and they will be wrong. I think of it as skilled and unskilled. No one is going to die from this. So, if my son was a brat to someone else's, we'd take him to task and expect him to correct the matter when and if the other lad would accept it, because no one owes you that. My father taught me that. I hope you are thriving! I also cannot agree that people did not know back then? Maybe those who'd never read a book or been raised with the Bible or Koran. We have known for thousands of years about power and its abuses. I hope you are okay and I wish you the best!
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I'm a student counselor and I find this tactic too intrusive for my style. But I imagine it would work well for some clients. I prefer taking a curious approach and using the Socratic method to help clients learn for themselves what isn't working for them.
I think you are right, interrupting can be intrusive if not done effectively. Since my role is to help, I find it helpful to challenge people when the are doing something potentially harmful. Not everyone wants to be taught in therapy. For those that don't, this kind of interruption would be obnoxious.
Yes, the power of therapy is being allowed the space to discover your own inner world in all it's magnificence. It is not about the therapist. Carl Rogers describes this very well where he would allow his clients the time and space to play with words if they needed in order to articulate their feelings or experience in a way that empowered them, freed them, developed their own voice and all that comes with it. My daughter used to say that the best thing about her therapist was that, if my daughter just wanted to go in one evening and sit quietly and see what, if anything emerged in her, the therapist was perfectly happy to let her have that space and didn't feel the need to fill the silence, which would be more about the therapist than the client. It can sound appealing, as if they can teach or tell you your own answers, but once you have that experience of being HEARD and taking ownership of your own space, both inner and outer, you don't need all that talking and challenging and interrupting. I'm a very Adlerian thinker. If a person says one thing but does another, then they are doing what they want. Is it our job to get them to own that? I don't think so since it will make no difference, especially if avoidance is what they want. One psychologist I know sometimes asks a client, genuinely, 'What was that like for you?' or 'What must that have felt like for you?. This imparts not only a powerful validation and empathy but also makes the person feel valued and valid, maybe for the first time ever. It also awakens them to ask themselves the same question, which opens up their own inner space and let's them explore and eventually develop it as they choose.
As a71 year old who has lad a life of interpersonal difficulties, and to such a degree that for about 8 yeares when I was growing up was subjected to intensive peer violence (bullies weren't regulated back in the 50's as they more often are today), my concern was always the ways in which the orogonal poroblem was mishandled. This, in PRIORITY to the original suffering issue.
Some have given the excuse that people didn't know back than,k but this I see as a gray zone: "Whewre there wasn't a way, there wasn't a will."
Effectively I was left to solve my own problems because even the professonals never got to that approach properly and anywhere in time.
Part and parcel of the rotten history of the baby b oomer generation, although I was actually born in the tail end of WWII.
In the expected sense,m it is too late for me, but my staunchly independent research never stops. Ironically, many things I knew myself, now appear in scholarly papers on the internet, typically coming from universities and authors usually touting PhD's in Psychology.
But if academic savvy is not being applied as it needs to, one might smell a touch of Ludditeism! As If I had not ferreted out a LOT of that hypocricy over the decades.
In a democratic country, if the government cannot face imposing what is sustainable from a mental health and sociological standpoint for fear of political suicide, to what ethic can we expect any professional who has to earn his bread and butter, to adhere in the face of what, years ago, an old and very woise neighbour in his latter years called simply "The Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire"?
I see that you left this message 5 years ago and I truly hope you get this from me. I completely agree with you and am very, very sorry that so much was taken from you in your early life. As it happens, I studied law but later did all of my postgrad in... you guessed it: Developmental neuroscience. What your experience did was, not shocking to you I'd wager, caused developmental trauma. The impact of that, as you well know, can and often does last a lifetime. I think you may have been better served by the lawyer in me since I cannot endure letting someone else get kicked down. I have had that experience and I will say my teachers did everything they could to help. However, my daughter was brutally bullied in her very 'high thinking and enlightened' school and, you are absolutely correct when you say: 'But if academic savvy is not being applied as it needs to, one might smell a touch of Ludditeism! As If I had not ferreted out a LOT of that hypocricy over the decades.' I may have let out a Hooray shout that woke the house. What I found in her school was that the management were so bogged down in their 'ethos' (puke) and pretty words that they never developed the actual skill that it takes to take on the very often belligerently defensive parent behind the most vicious kids. My son' school, on the other hand, had that one down and I loved having the privilege of seeing them work effectively and definitely to stop a bullying problem in its tracks. They didn't need the 'ethos' or the lingo (which bullies tend to hide behind anyway). They were excellent role models for the students and many of the adults as well. What my daughter went through was appalling and they just floated about in the clouds and because they didn't want to use blame or shame, which I can agree with, they did nothing. It is possible to address conflict situations effectively without being adversarial, which demands a high degree of skill and maturity, which my son's school had, and an expectation on the students that this was the only way to behave. If they couldn't, then there were real consequences, real accountability. Avoiding this does not help us raise civil and effective adults. I chose that school for my son because their actions spoke louder than words and it shows on him and how well mannered he is and how he treats people. Our kids will be right and they will be wrong. I think of it as skilled and unskilled. No one is going to die from this. So, if my son was a brat to someone else's, we'd take him to task and expect him to correct the matter when and if the other lad would accept it, because no one owes you that. My father taught me that. I hope you are thriving! I also cannot agree that people did not know back then? Maybe those who'd never read a book or been raised with the Bible or Koran. We have known for thousands of years about power and its abuses. I hope you are okay and I wish you the best!
Seems too intrusive for me..I don't see a therapist as a teacher or a parent and I am not a kid. But may be that's what many people want..