How Do You Woo Your Betrayed Spouse Back after Infidelity?

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  • Опубликовано: 18 дек 2017
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    Samuel shares helpful insight into do's and don'ts for attempting to woo your spouse back.

Комментарии • 50

  • @lucyfannn7863
    @lucyfannn7863 4 года назад +42

    I'm the betrayed wife and I have yet seen my husband trying to woo me back, more like I have wooed him back and I am done doing all the wooing

    • @offbeatmommasaga3615
      @offbeatmommasaga3615 3 года назад +1

      I feel like I could have written this.

    • @liufox4394
      @liufox4394 3 года назад +1

      This was great, thanks, I've been looking for "what do i do when my wife wants a divorce" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you be on google have a look ) ? Ive heard some super things about it and my friend got amazing success with it.

    • @eileenfuentes6975
      @eileenfuentes6975 3 года назад +4

      I feel you!! I can't help but chuckle out of deep understanding from what you said. I'm tired of doing all the wooing! I guess he doesn't speak my love language and vice versa but all I need is a sincere apology and empathy instead of him getting angry when I try to bring it up

    • @albertodeulofeu5277
      @albertodeulofeu5277 6 месяцев назад

      But you’re still together. So maybe it works better that way. Women don’t like when you worship them anyway.

    • @Gotoworkkk
      @Gotoworkkk Месяц назад

      @@eileenfuentes6975lol love language is bs

  • @Ruifulify
    @Ruifulify 2 года назад +8

    I love this series. I'm not in a relationship that has been tainted by an affair (thankfully!) but I feel like the lessons are extremely valuable all the same. Expectation constantly ruins good things. Giving without expecting anything in return is better, not only for them but for you. Because you have achieved your goal regardless of the reciprocation. You can feel good about yourself for making the effort, rather than being subject to your loved one's mood. And if they do give you praise and appreciation, it just makes it that much sweeter.

  • @terrywade3696
    @terrywade3696 5 лет назад +17

    Samantha is a saint! Not only that, she’s an incredibly strong woman! I so admire her!

  • @turbo1gts
    @turbo1gts 2 года назад +4

    My wife (the betrayed)didn't want to observe yesterday (our 27th anniversary) as of a month ago. But she surprised me with a video call and we had a really nice conversation, really just priceless. Maybe I am showing her I want to be with her and do the work. I do know that I want to go all the way to being hers again. Don't give up!

  • @t6drifty12
    @t6drifty12 Год назад +6

    I realize I'm commenting on an old post and this won't be seen. I'm the betrayed husband and I never felt "woo'd" by her. How could she woo me back after a sexless marriage where she convinced me that sex isn't important to her; Just for her to have a long term affair? She says she loves me, but doesn't show me the passion and desire she had for her AP. How does a woman "woo" her husband after that kind of betrayal?

  • @TheJennyg76
    @TheJennyg76 6 лет назад +13

    Yeah he bought me a new Escalade in 3 weeks . I knew what it was but I said if it was in my name only .

  • @darrellmabry699
    @darrellmabry699 6 лет назад +18

    Bottom line is, if your heart is not in the right place, your doing it for selfish reasons or with any type expectation dont bother. Not only will she see right through it but I think it shows where you are in the process. I say this because I've done it as well, mainly because I was lonely. But like you've said Samual, we gotta buck up and put our big boy pants on, the same ones we had on when we thought it was a good idea to have an affair and take our medicine. The solution is just be genuine, kind and loving and if it gets thrown back at you just take it and move on. It's hard but just take it and don't respond and move forward

  • @SergioGarcia-ph6xz
    @SergioGarcia-ph6xz 6 лет назад +15

    I was the one trying to whoo my unfaithful partner. I think that made her feel as if I was at fault.

    • @samshealingpodcast
      @samshealingpodcast 6 лет назад +5

      not your fault. you tried, but sometimes they want to believe whatever they want to believe no matter what you do and how pure your motives are.

  • @LP-ey7zj
    @LP-ey7zj 5 лет назад +6

    My husband started buying me all kinds of stuff. Smh I remember I felt like he was groveling at my feet. I had shut him out. I would go from raging out on him to days of silence and just ignoring him. The first few weeks were the worst. I was so in shock by what had happened.

  • @kunntakentay
    @kunntakentay 8 месяцев назад +1

    As the betrayed, what if you’re just too disgusted in a physical sense to receive them back, despite forgiving them?

  • @tsol7414
    @tsol7414 5 лет назад +8

    My husband put a down payment on a vacation rental in Paris. I didn’t respond the way he wanted and he wanted to get a refund. It sucked.

    • @samshealingpodcast
      @samshealingpodcast 5 лет назад

      those situations happen frequently... it's ok, it's very normal. connecting and communicating about it is what's key to moving forward after things like that.. i'm sorry it went that way.

  • @araxerces490
    @araxerces490 5 лет назад +1

    Thank you Sam. This video really taught me a lot. I really hope you keep up the good work and keep up with the videos.

  • @chevieoquain2272
    @chevieoquain2272 5 лет назад +5

    I’m the betrayed and I feel as if I’m the one trying to whoo her back. She has done every right in trying to regain my trust and she has shown how deeply she is hurt from what she did, so why do I still feel as if I have to win her back even though she is trying so hard for me not to feel this way?

    • @samshealingpodcast
      @samshealingpodcast 5 лет назад +2

      hi chevie...it could be a couple things. 1. maybe you're dealing with codependence and need to address that professionally and you're feeling as though you're the reason she cheated? ((which isn't right but maybe you feel that way)) 2. maybe you're experiencing some guilt that you need to work through and you're unaware of it? it's something you definitely need to get help for so you can understand it though my friend.

  • @sarah3139
    @sarah3139 2 года назад

    Thankyou this video is spot on

  • @Lafamilia20239
    @Lafamilia20239 4 года назад +3

    Progress not perfection 😔💔

  • @justinthomas6029
    @justinthomas6029 4 года назад +5

    I betrayed my wife and I would like to give her space and id like to do therapy or anything been married 10 years and I feel like this may be the end but it seems like the more space and time I give her the worse it gets ... Help please

    • @jonjones8029
      @jonjones8029 3 года назад

      You have to show her she's worth you fighting for. Giving her space may make her feel like your avoiding her and she's not worth the effort.

    • @anissaholmes4495
      @anissaholmes4495 5 месяцев назад

      You have to talk to women. Space actually makes it so much worse. It’s like you don’t care. It’s as emotionally painful ( not talking about issues) for a woman as being physically hurt.

  • @cerianneselio4856
    @cerianneselio4856 3 года назад +1

    My husband won't even enter a conversation, never mind anything else. I find myself walking on egg shells like I was the one who did the wrongs, or I have no right to be hurt. He makes zero effort to make anything more bearable.

    • @TannerNelso
      @TannerNelso 7 месяцев назад

      What are some things he should be doing?

  • @brandonpero8742
    @brandonpero8742 3 года назад +2

    My ex gave me a second chance after I cheated..I made more mistakes by not making her feel appreciated enough. She ended things. I feel terrible what should I do??

    • @samshealingpodcast
      @samshealingpodcast 3 года назад +2

      i'm so sorry brandon. i would focus on your own healing and your own next steps. it's vital you take care of you: from forgiving yourself, to healing areas that need to be healed, to even finding out why maybe you didn't do the work you needed to do. get expert help and heal my friend.

    • @infidelheretic923
      @infidelheretic923 5 месяцев назад

      Therapy

  • @cheynatagura5675
    @cheynatagura5675 3 года назад +1

    My ex found out about an online affair I was having. The girl that I was having an affair with contacted my ex and apparently showed her everything. My ex has since blocked me and stopped all communication with me. I am devastated and shattered as I still deeply and truly love my ex. It has been exactly two weeks since she found out about the affair. How do I make this right? I am desperate for answers :(

    • @samshealingpodcast
      @samshealingpodcast 3 года назад +1

      i'm not sure you can make it right my friend. it may be time to give the process time and work on you and your own healing. it may also be time to let the ex go a bit and giver the ex space.

  • @Naomi-hh1ml
    @Naomi-hh1ml 4 года назад +5

    Any advice on how to woo the betrayed back when they've already decided to end the relationship?

    • @samshealingpodcast
      @samshealingpodcast 4 года назад +3

      commit to bettering yourself as best you can. give them space, but perhaps as you're doing work they will open up to the possibility of reconnecting slowly but surely?

  • @danielsarginson3253
    @danielsarginson3253 3 года назад +1

    I had an affair on my partner of 7 years 2 kids.. she found out a week ago, all I want to do is fix it and hope she doesn't move on and will give me another chance but it's so fresh that it's hard to find the positive

    • @witch6in6the6womb
      @witch6in6the6womb 2 года назад +7

      Why did you do it? Do you realize how bad it hurts? And you hurt her over sex. Why? I don't understand man. It is evil. True evil to do that to someone.

    • @digsshayla8940
      @digsshayla8940 2 года назад +1

      I have also cheated on my partner. It was wrong and stupid; but you're not the first and you won't be the last.
      I wish you the best of luck; you will not be able to control her decisions. I hope you are remorseful and are trying your best to realize how much you have hurt your partner.
      I know I have; it has not been the first time she has been betrayed either. What I did was evil; I need to fix myself.
      I hope everything works out in the end for you, Mr. Sarginson.

  • @chrish4938
    @chrish4938 4 года назад +7

    The key in this video is wooing the betrayed through their love language.

  • @momorales1021
    @momorales1021 Год назад +1

    what shall I do if the betrayed spouse shuts off communication?

    • @samshealingpodcast
      @samshealingpodcast Год назад +1

      it's tough when this happens....i would take that as a bit of a message that i need to give them space, work on me, work on my own healing and finding out why i did what i did. it's vital you care for yourself and do your work or else you'll miss the opportunity to focus on you and communicate to your betrayed that you'll only work on the marriage for them and not because it's the right thing to do.

    • @Sue-ck5yk
      @Sue-ck5yk Год назад

      There's not much you can do besides respect their boundaries.

  • @saundracohen4032
    @saundracohen4032 3 года назад +8

    How about just NOT be disloyal.

    • @Aki14Bobo
      @Aki14Bobo Год назад +4

      I was disloyal and I'm fighting like hell to win my wife back. I've made in so many mistakes that it feels hopeless right now. But I still have hope

    • @Siberiana
      @Siberiana 6 месяцев назад

      ​@@Aki14Bobohow are you doing now?

    • @cantbanme8971
      @cantbanme8971 5 месяцев назад

      Helpful

    • @infidelheretic923
      @infidelheretic923 5 месяцев назад

      That is the best option.
      But once that ship has sailed opt for the next best thing.

  • @melodyangco4131
    @melodyangco4131 4 года назад +1

    How can I woo him back when he ended the relationship and he is not answering calls and texts? I hope to hear some inputs.

  • @stewart2313
    @stewart2313 3 года назад

    We agreed that I move out after a month. However she’s still hot and cold towards me. Even buys me things. Kinda confusing.