No issue here, everybody should do a wedding they can afford. If you care about the couple you go, and they don't say don't come unless you send us money... Also as you said, the clothes don't have to cost so much... And the open bar will be soo expensive
The complaints make me feel like I’m on crazy pills. If I got invited to this wedding I would be SO happy about it- easy dress code, not locked into some long meal I may not want, no shopping for pointless gifts. If I had a friend I would be more than happy to show up in a clean dress and venmo them $50, like what’s the big deal???
Many couples live together long before the nuptials and have all they need! Helping with money for a honeymoon, or whatever, seems GREAT to me! Many people have been doing cash in a card for DECADES! It's not that serious! I do think the text is a bit slighting, but it is 2024! Bring on the fun, I say!!!! ✨️💚✨️✌🏻💚🙏🏻
@@rebeccavorwald3608right?! With the text I kind of get it because it can be hard tracking down everyone’s address these days or being worried about things getting lost in the mail or people moving without you knowing
So many people have a cash donation option on their wedding registries in ADDITION to the gifts they want. It’s nothing new at all! I’d so much rather contribute the $50 I’d spend on a salt and pepper shaker to my friends having a nice trip experience!
After being a bridesmaid 8 times, I would NEVER have a traditional wedding. The entitlement of everyone! The expectations. The pressure. The cost. The politics. The COST. The familial and social drama. The intense overstimulation!! And so stressful! This reception sounds like a dream.
So let me get this straight, it's not okay to "fund their honeymoon" but it is okay to furnish their home with physical gifts? The math isn't mathing. Also I think people don't understand what a black tie event means.
Black tie may mean something different in the UK than the US? Black tie implies men must be in tuxedos and women must be in floor length dresses. But later in the invite it says cocktail dresses and pant suits.
@@arachnid33 yes, there are ways to let people know their desires without coming out and saying, "Yo, Venmo me." I do think wedding guests understand the ritual of gift giving at wedding celebrations.
As someone with a South Asian background only money makes sense as a gift, I don’t understand why these western people are so angry. Maybe it’s because they couldn’t pass on their own shitty gifts to someone else 🤷♀️
Seriously. I've known several people that have worked at Target amd Walmart (and several big box stores often found in malls back in the day like Macy's amd JCP.) And they all said it was soooo so common for people to be returning a cart load or two of gifts in exchange for gift cards. Either it was stuff not on their list and they had neither any use nor desire for them or they got a bunch of dupes. Like just give cash or a gift card.
In today's economy, and the fact they just moved into a new home, I totally get this. Also, in some areas, like Asia, it's totally normal to gift cash in order to help with the cost if the wedding 🤷🏻♀️
It makes so much more sense to help people get off to a good start together with a little cash. I mean lots of people do that for recent grads going off to college to start their lives.
I'm indian by culture . we prefer cash as it goes to couple's savings on new home or new life costs. Close relationship will always give that as blessings. But acquaintances gift coolers cookers pans 😂😂😂lol
Literally, they did nothing wrong. Why are people so high and mighty over others weddings? It's an open bar with snacks. Weddings shouldn't have to break the bank!
I prefer drinks (soft) and light refreshments to rubber chicken! They can serve spiralized courgette salads, petits fours, special Chex Mix, and make it fun! I'd rather not stuff up before dancing anyway.
Exactly! In this economy? Plus they just bought a house too, that’s expensive enough! And those people think the couple should by them a steak dinner? 😂
Adult event. Perfectly reasonable. Open bar. Perfect. This can be very expensive. No formal dinner. Perfectly reasonable. Black clothing. Perfectly reasonable. No gifts. Only cash . Perfect. Easy shop. I don't see any issue with any of this. . If you do...then don't go to the wedding. End of. Simple
"Black tie dresscode" doesn't mean all black. It means a black tux for men and a ballgown for women. The ballgown can be any color you want, but they're saying no cocktail dress will do.
Never understood why people have a problem with a honeymoon fund, but never spending a hundred or more on something like a kitchen appliance from the registery
Right?! Like people put crazy expensive vacuums on their registry even though they already have a vacuum. I’d so much rather pay for my friend to have a great time on their honeymoon for that same amount of money
Also I’ve had someone in real life say that sending cash is tacky because then the wedding couple know how much you’ve spent & they prefer to buy something off a registry. I did try explaining that unless they bought the couple a gift that wasn’t on the registry, the couple would still know what they’d spent on the gift. They still didn’t get it 😂
So normal in Australia to have cash or funds towards a honeymoon. Honestly makes it easier for the guests to not have to pick a gift or find something before the wedding.
I did see one couple that put out basically a go-fund-me for their "dream honeymoon" on social media. I thought that was kind of tacky. If I knew them well enough to be invited to the wedding then sure I can give cash instead of a gift. But to blast that to all of your "friends" on social media? I think they realized this because I looked at one point and their link was no longer valid. So I think there is a fine line there.
I've been married three times. First time was the spendy, big party. Second time was at our house, but we had food catered, and spent a decent amount on guests. Third was in our living room, 5 of us total, and I made our own wedding cake. And none of those marriages lasted. Weddings have been twisted out of a ceremony committing love and life to each other into a party that must impress the guests. Sad.
@what.the.whatever I think the point is no matter if the event is expensive or affordable, big or small, none of these factors weigh into if a marriage will last or not
I think people are mistaking the request for a monetary gift as an entrance fee or assuming the bride and groom are saying its a requirement, theyre not... They're literally just saying "instead of gifts use the cash you'd spent on a PHYSICAL gift and give us the money instead.." sheeesh... 🙄
My brother and his wife did this for their wedding. They requested donations to their honeymoon fund instead of physical gifts. Nobody seemed to have an issue with this.
I agree with the sentiment of the invite. The wording was awkward to me. They didn't need to hire a wedding planner, but I feel they should have hired a professional writer or editor to help them with this invitation.
People are still so traditional in terms of weddings… like first of all it’s not your special day and second of all, be grateful that the person thinks you’re close enough of a friend/loved one to invite you to such a personal event!
I actually love this! This is great… people have gotten so lazy when it comes to weddings.. wearing jeans, flip flops. As well they are giving you free booze ALL NIGHT! This sounds like a great evening, invite me! I’ll come and be great full 😊
I’m a reclusive childless cat lady who rarely leaves the house and EVEN I have a black cocktail dress in my closet. I see nothing wrong with this. People are so far up their own asses to be happy for others. 🙄
As a catlady of 3, I second that! I actualloy have several cocktail dresses in different colors, like this is a dress, it doesn't get spoiled, gosh, people nowadays.
In my case, I don't have any problem with the invitation, just the dress because I don't have it and I'm pretty lazy to dress like that, but I know that's my problem xD
Yep, got my emergency dress. It is dark navy but I may be able to get away with it. If not I know I could buy something nice on sale for less than 50 bucks if I was motivated to find it. My partner has that one black emergency suit, in case someone gets married or dies.
As someone who has gotten married - not only are the invitations themselves ridiculously expensive, but then there is also the postage! I would have happily sent a text to my guests if I had thought about it! I would rather give cash, wear a simple black dress, have an open bar with some light snacks - I'm not going to a wedding to be absolutely catered to, I am going to a wedding to celebrate the people that are getting married. This scenario is the perfect wedding, and I fail to see why people are outraged. ....and why would you spend 1k on a dress?! Good lord order one off Amazon for goodness sake.
I agree. Most people are just going to throw those expensive invitations in the trash. Maybe it would be nice to have a few printed on really nice paper for people like mum and grandma who will keep it for sentimental reasons.
@@swolerabbitwhat’s tacky is you trying to shame people who want to spend a lot of money on THEIR WEDDING and THEIR SPECIAL DAY. If it’s not okay to shame people for not spending thousands of dollars on their SPECIAL DAY, why do you think it’s okay to shame people who spend thousands of dollars on their wedding?
Do people not bring gifts to a wedding anymore? Would it be any different if they labeled it as a "honeymoon fund" specifically? If you're spending money on a gift anyway, might as well give them something they'll want or that'll be useful, even if its just cash. Them telling you what they want takes the guess work out of getting a gift and makes it easier for you anyway. People need to find new hobbies or take a nap instead of getting mad for the sake of getting mad over nothing
its CRAZY too because all these twitter yappers saying "declined" and "i would never go" etc etc are acting as if they personally got the invite LMAOOO like calm down, you have no where to get invited to in the first place 💀💀
I agree with EVERYTHING you said. The best part of the wedding invite in my opinion is the small snacks and appetizers! Especially with an open bar. Who wants to sit down and have a full course meal with an open bar? The alcohol or the meals will go to waste because no one wants to get sick or throw up. The couple probably wanted their adult friends and family to drink, eat snacks, dance, talk, take pictures, and have fun. Not everything has to be “traditional”or “family friendly”.
*”a lot of people are plenty outraged”* Perfectly describes just the whole internet in 2024 😂 Also, I don’t know why people are mad at the wedding couple 😅
It's funny how people think that this is inappropriate or tacky. There is nothing wrong with this invitation, you get plus 1, an open bar, a beautiful evening with family and friends, and a big bonus you don't have to break your brain on what to buy as a gift.
I don’t know if people understand just how expensive open bars can be. I host events for work and our open bars cost a lot of money. This couple is putting a lot of money into the food and drinks, more than people think
you’re going to have the best time, omg! i eloped and just had a fun dinner with friends after, never regretted a thing, saved a ton of money for things that you know… matter in life.
I’m 33 and single so I doubt a wedding is ever in my future, but I always said I would do pizzas and cupcakes to keep it easy! I’d include some gluten free and dairy free pizzas as well to keep it simple and inclusive
People are so fckn weird about weddings. My husband and I quietly got married with just our witnesses present. Our family found out after and THEY then decided to throw us a little celebratory dinner with a cute little wedding cake. We did not ask nor expect anything from anyone but were very surprised and grateful to them for wanting to celebrate for us. I really don’t get how crazy some people get when it comes to weddings 🤷🏻♀️
Much more tacky is to make a wish list of compulsory, overpriced items that must be purchased as a kind of entry fee to your ‘party’. Like “Please come to my birthday, and bring me a Barbie Dreamhouse, thanks!” 🙄
I’m honored to be a guest at a wedding. I feel special. The couple didn’t have to invite you. They chose to. As someone commented above in many cultures cash is the norm.
I thrifted a beautiful evening gown for a friend’s wedding and it cost me around 20€. Whoever says you have to spend $1000 to attend a wedding is crazy.
I feel like they just like being melodramatic. And also, you don't have to even buy a whole new outfit for every single event you go to like these people seem to be implying.
Yeah… that $1000 comment was crazy. For men it might cost more to purchase a suit jacket if they don’t own one, but not $1000. You can find a suit coat for under $100.
I would love this wedding. I have severe food allergies and it makes weddings really awkward for me with people asking why I’m not eating. I’d feel so comfortable at this wedding eating beforehand and just snacking or not snacking depending on what’s available and not feeling awkward about it. This couple seems like they’d probably be really chill and fun actually
I have been to many weddings..turned down a few tbh!!! So..this wedding: 1.Adults only..a dream!!! Who wants kids running around for the evening? I worked with kids for years..but cranky kids..no thanks!! 2. Open bar..A dream!!! I went to my friend's wedding £5.00 for a small diet coke!!! 3. Go for dinner 1st..great idea!!! We've all been to those sit down receptions where you get stuck with Great Aunt Doris..with luke warm meat and hard vegetables!!! Maccy D's on the way home..result!!! 4. Black suits/LBD. Everyone has something you can wear. You could just hire a tux..or go in black dress shirt and smart trousers!!! I have MANY black outfits!! 5. No gifts just cash. Brilliant!!! You either have ridiculous wedding lists with nothing under £100..or you end up with a load of crap you don't want!!! Cash is a brilliant idea!!! QR code..perfect!!! Invitations are SOOOO expensive..don't mind text or email invites!!! I'd be happy to go to this wedding!!! Sign me up for this wedding please!!! 🥰🥰🥰 xxxxx
The whole "adults only" thing is very polarizing. My fiancé and I are not having kids at our wedding. Second wedding for both so we are keeping it small and intimate and want it to be a fun party. Only kids coming are ours and only 1 of the four is still technically a child (15). His sister and brother-in-law got quite upset that his nephew is not invited.
As an old person, at least in the US, money, either cash or check, is the traditional/usual gift. Now, with people who have registries, you can choose to buy something they actually want or give money. That invite was fine. People just like to get pissed off and indignant about something.
so people would rather spend $100+ on miscellaneous items/furniture that the couple says they DONT need than just give the same amount of money to the couple to spend on a honeymoon? what?
I feel like some of these folk have never been to a wedding. You just put the cash you would've spent on a gift, in the card! Most of us can rustle up a "black tie" outfit from what we have in our wardrobes 😂
I’m Arab, and I did not realize that people gave physical gifts as wedding presents. We regularly put “no boxed gifts” on invites, and it’s the norm to give money as a gift to the couple. Now traditionally, yes there’s supposed to be food and generosity, but as an American as well, I totally get and respect this set up. Especially since food at weddings is always hit or miss.
Malays in Malaysia and Singapore, and Indonesians have the same culture as well. We just give money. Not only at weddings but to children during Eid as well.
@@Robert_Reacts NO, thank you for the entertaining, informative, wonderful content both you and your brother provide to me! I need it living in the US with my country going crazy and also supporting genocide.
Weddings are a money trap. A ridiculous amount. This seems like a bargain. Black at weddings in UK isn't that typical, or evening weddings, but everyone is still asked to look nice. Whether I like any of the factors or not, it's not my bloody special day 😅
Hear me out: what if we re-invent weddings? What if the couple merely throw a party that they can afford and gifts are no longer required or are, at least, just optional? Everyone always says,"we already live together - we need nothing." That's great. The origins of gift giving happened when most couples were quite young and starting out and the bride usually lived with her parents. They would have no households goods. So many wedding traditions are based on that assumption. Since that is not generally true anymore, let's just change a wedding to a nice party, not a lot different from a birthday party. A lot less can be spent by the couple and by the guests.
An open bar is INCREDIBLY generous. You know some guests will abuse their good will. Also - gifts are all well and good but what if your guests have ugly taste? 😅 At least if you’re contributing to a honeymoon you know that’s what they want! This has been a normal gift to every single wedding I’ve been to in the UK. It’s not tacky, it’s practical.
I think, if the couple didn't describe the dress code so specifically, everyone would be perfectly happy with what they asked for, i.e. ask the guests to either wear their sharpest/most sophisticated dress OR what colour they should wear, but not both.
Wow the audacity of these strangers. They're just as entitled as my immediate family. I got married in 2022 (a Covid wedding with lots of restrictions) - yet my family wanted a different wedding location rather than a venue of my choice (venue which was budget-friendly), they wanted a bigger space all for my relatives' comfort. They wanted to change this and that and I had to decline politely. It's my freaking big day, i paid half while my husband paid his half of the expenses. PERHAPS I would have considered their opinions if they'd help to gift or sponsor some of the expenses out of goodwill (not that i expect them to do so anyway). Long story short, dad and sisters backed out from walking down the aisle with me (My Mom passed 1 year prior) during the wedding. So my Mother in Law stepped in, (she is disgusted by my family to this day but loves me a lot❤) . And my Dad took the whole dowry for himself when it's meant to be mine. 5 months later, we decided to move out from my dad's place while waiting for our permanent home. So toxic. The couple is definitely not in the wrong. QR code idea is genius btw
This infuriates me!! Weddings bring out the worst in people and show you who your real friends are. The wedding is about the people getting married. That’s it. No one else. It’s a privilege to be invited to witness it. The same people who complain about other people’s wedding would want everything they want at their wedding. I don’t care if someone gets married in their kitchen. It’s THEIR wedding, not mine. Anyone who makes someone else’s birthday or wedding about them is outing themselves as a very selfish person
Wtf? It's one of the chillest wedding invites I've ever seen. Easy dress code (literally EVERYONE has either a black dress/tux or a friend who can lend them one, ffs!!!). Open bar, no entry fee, cash gifts and no registry?? AND as a bonus I get to choose what I eat for dinner instead of eating some overpriced catering wedding food?? A DREAM. Jesus Christ.
No you're neither lost nor the only person who doesn't see a problem with this invitation. One should go to a wedding because they want to share a special moment with the soon to be Mr. and Mrs., not for food and alcohol. They don't have to sell their souls just to please their guests.
When people ask my what I want for xmas or my bday I say either some kind of homemade food item, a meal out or money that I can spend on yarn (or they can take me yarn shopping). When I got married we only accepted cash or it was alright to give nothing with no shame at all. These people aren't demanding cash, they are saying they don't want anything but if you want to give you can give cash. No big deal.
So the older folks (parents age) were like “it’s such a waste of money, just have a celebration and get married in court”. Fast forward to DAYS after we got engaged and they’re like “you can’t not have a wedding!” And then 6 months later when we say we are not going over budget they again said “just get married in court and have a dinner”. Are you EFFING kidding me. That’s what WE wanted but they insisted on the whole wedding thing. Ugh.
when i got married, we went to the courthouse got papers notarized and left it there i refused any kind of celebration or party it was the last thing i wanted lol
Why are people so crazy about wedding food? It's not that great, I always eat before the wedding. Also, I have never been to a wedding where wedding gifts have really been a thing. Most people give cash in a card, unless someone's grandmother gives you a special quilt, it is rare to see an actual gift.
I went to several weddings as a kid and the food, especially catered, was only ever so-so at best. Honestly I most like the food at a former friends wedding I went to at 19. It was a backyard wedding. They catered a small amount of BBQ, they had a cookout, and most the food was brought from us guest as a potluck.
They are not demanding money. They are saying, that they do not want physical gifts, but if (lets stress the IF) you want to give them something, they would appreciate money. And honestly, money as a gift was an option for a long, long time, so I really dont understand the fuss. Colors are also fine - the men would probably wear a black suit anyway, and for the ladies it is not that hard to find a black dress, if you dont have one already, as opposed to some crazy specific shade of green or whatever that some people demand... So the only thing I sort of understand is that there wont be a dinner served. Who knows what the couple is planning, might be more of a party then a sit down event.
I’m Italian and in our culture, we always give a “boosta” which is an envelope of money to the bride and groom as a way of paying for our invite, especially the dinner. Weddings are way too expensive these days and paying for all the guests becomes pricey. So to me, this isn’t strange at all.
I've been to black tie weddings and they weren't super dressed up but men wore in suits and women wore dresses. It's a nice way of saying don't wear jeans and a hoodie with sneakers. Because, yes, people will show up like that.
Our wedding cost £2000 all in and we still compliments on our day! Some even 14yrs later say it is still the best wedding they have been too, which is lovely to hear. You dont have to spend thousand of pounds for one day. What i loved about our wedding the most is a lot of the guests participated with items for the wedding i.e. mh nan made the table name cards and my boss wrote out the peoples names as she had beautiful handwriting, a girl i was on a course with made wonderful little baskets with sugared almonds for table favours. We where so grateful and felt so loved ❤❤❤
I am getting married in a few months, and this is pretty similar to what we're doing. We refuse to go into debt for a wedding, and we also can't afford to have the honeymoon right away. Our family and friends want to come and celebrate US, regardless of what we serve or the dress code. I think anons online have forgotten why we have weddings... we aren't offering services for payment.
Same! His family is annoyed at me for wanting a private ceremony and just a reception with cocktails and snacks too, but I’m not made of money, and I’m not inviting 200 people that I wouldn’t even invite to a cookout to my damn wedding for $90 a head😂
Congratulations! I'm getting married next year. Second wedding for both (we're in our early 50s) and we are keeping it small and don't want to spend a fortune on a wedding. Only issue we've had is that we aren't having kids other than our own (3 out of the 4 are 18+) and his sister and brother-in-law are upset that his nephew isn't invited. We just want to have a fun party with family/friends and not have to worry about kids running around. And it's at a literal bar (that also serves food). We're renting out the whole place for the afternoon.
@@AshleyfromTX Heck I'm getting married next year and $90 a head is cheap compared to what we found for traditional wedding venues. We're keeping it around 50 people. But yeah when you are doing your guest list you have to really think who you really like enough to spend that kind of money on them.
In my culture, we tend to give money to the bride and groom. Generally its in an unmarked envelope as not to expose anyone and you give what you can afford. We also offer to cater or take of tasks for the bride and groom, eg; my mum paid for my venue, my husbands family paid for drinks etc. The idea is that we help each other out, and debt is frowned upon. I look at this like if we all help each other out, then it makes life easier, weddings, funerals etc. I left my wedding with zero debt and enough to pay for half my honeymoon. The idea is to make your marital union easier and from what i see in the UK, starting with £20k debt is a recipe for disaster due to the stress alone.
I see nothing wrong. I've heard of and have been to plenty of weddings that ask for donations towards honeymoons 🤷🏼♀️ one wedding asked for cash so they could put it towards their newborn baby
My husband and I have been married for 16 years. We got married at a free public park by a family friend. We wore nice dress clothes and personally invited all 20 people who attended. We provided a cake from a grocery store and that was it. All we cared about was being married. It was one of the best days of our lives as we were home health care workers at the time and some of our clients surprised us by coming. You don’t need to spend a fortune to have a happy and lasting marriage. Our money went into creating our first home together and the adoption of our daughter.
Ppl are spoiled and want to be treated at the couple's expense. I loved the heads up to know I don't have to waste time gift shopping and give them the money instead
My husband and I had a relatively small wedding (~60 people). As all of my family lives abroad, I made digital cards on Canva and sent them via email or WhatsApp. We also had a website linked with all the details of the venue, rsvp and guests could choose the food options. On the website we said something along the lines of “we don’t need gifts, we just want you to come, but if you really want to give us something we would appreciate donations to fund our dream honeymoon”. Some physical gifts were still made and we still appreciated them, but no one ever thought it was rude of us to ask them to help us make what are currently the most wonderful memories of our lives!
This is a dream wedding to me. They're literally taking all of the guesswork out of it for you and providing an open bar. Sign me up! I wish all weddings were like this.
people not at all recognizing that not everything is about them - including other people’s weddings - is fucking wild to me! imagine being such a narcissist you’d make someone else’s reception about you. much tackier to me than an open bar. also not quite sure how “we don’t need a third air fryer but that amount in cash to put towards a fancy dinner at our honeymoon would be great” is offensive. i used to work in target customer service, and the amount of people i got DAILY returning - im not kidding - 3 air fryers from a registry for a gift card was ridiculous. just give the gift card.
Exactly. I've known several people that have worked at target and walmart that say the same exact thing. People return most the gifts they get because they don't need them or they got a slew of dupes. Like instead of spending hundred on an airfryer or damn near a grand on a kitchen kitchenaide stand mixer, without any attachments, you cam just give them a couple hundy and call it a day. Or 20 bucks. This couple sounds like they'd appreciate a 20 and a card as well.
@@Insertia_Nameia yeah, fr! $5 would have been the cost of a fancy drink on my honeymoon, and i’d have been SO thankful! literally any amount - including none - is fine? 😂 the people who jumped to “oh so u can’t even afford your honeymoon?!” are really giving the classic twitter “OH SO YOU FUCKING HATE BANANAS?!?” meme. girl no one said that 😭😂
I’ve been thinking about this and possibly the issue with cash is that it has a numerical value attached to it and you cannot really just give £100, you’ll need to provide several hundreds (unless you’re a single person), whereas you definitely could purchase an item from the registry for just a bit over £100. So maybe it’s that? 🤔
No matter what type of wedding you choose to have- someone will complain. Just do what makes sense for you as a couple and what makes you happy as a couple. Your people who get you will love you and want to support and celebrate you regardless. Much luck and health to the couple getting married in this story❤
Classic wedding etiquette is that you are the host of your wedding and you are meant to entertain your guests, it’s not a requirement but prepared for people not to come or stick around long
I'm a vegetarian, so I often eat beforehand anyway for events like those. I'd totally go to that wedding - open bar is the best part! I'm morally opposed to weddings costing over $15k, and love seeing people boycott the price-gouging of the wedding industry.
Going to weddings as a kid always gave me anxiety. I didn’t grow up with the stereotypical dreaming of my future wedding thing. I’m glad my husband was on the same page as me. We payed $50 extra (ended up being $100) for a “courthouse” wedding and that let us get married at a local art museum. We had three witnesses and went to dinner afterwards. It was perfect and very small.
These people piling on are bonkers! First, an e-invite saves trees. An open bar, venue rental and finger foods are all expensive in themselves! And, if they are already established, why not contribute cash to their honeymoon? Geez!
That sounds like a beautiful wedding and I completely appreciate them being so detailed in the invitation and letting you know ahead of time what to expect!! Bravo to them!
I agree with everything you said. I think it actually sounds like a really tasteful event, where you are there to celebrate what really matters and not to indulge at the expense of others. I got married this year and did it all for under 2k. We did not go into debt over it. We did not have an open bar, we didn't have a dj and had bbq style food. It was a lovely day, with almost 70 people present and I even asked people to not get new clothes for it or get them 2nd hand - I'm a big vinted/charity shop supporter. Everything we used for the decor we bought 2nd hand and resold it. There is no need to impress anyone with a wedding - do what you want. If someone doesn't like it, they don't have to be there!
Literally got here in 2 minutes. Let’s go Robert! Luv from Canada 🇨🇦 Edit after watching: OMG. I wish I did that for my wedding. We ended up so much unnecessary shit we really didn’t need. We gave a registry list but people decided they knew better and bought us whatever they wanted. It was just so stupid. I wish I had just said cash only for the honeymoon. The only thing I hope is that they had enough food for the open bar. Just liability thing. Make sure everyone eats and no drinking & driving. I think people are overreacting. This is fine. Happy for them. Hope they have a wonderful life together.
@@Robert_Reacts of course lovely! Always look forward to your videos. 😊 also I TOTALLY agree with you. These twitter comments are stupid. Nothing is wrong with the invite. I hope the couple have a great time & the happiest of ever afters. 🖤💜
I 100% agree with you, Robert. The negativity this couple is receiving is uncalled for. My husband and I had a private elopement ceremony and then hosted a music bash about a month later at a local bar/music venue. The event was free and open to the public. (We both worked in the independent music industry at the time, a musician and publicist respectively, and had many music fans as friends.) Our guests got to see several great artists, one of whom is now famous. We even had a wedding registry, though admittedly, we didn't need much and we only made it because people who couldn't attend insisted on sending a gift, so we restricted it to affordable things we needed. Anyway, everyone had a blast. It's possible to be price-conscious and still offer everyone a good time.
I'm also confused what the problem is?? My fiance and I are planning on asking for money for a honeymoon if people feel so inclined to give us a gift. We're both almost 30. We're adults. We don't need physical items. We also aren't expecting anyone to give us money. It sounds like this is EXACTLY what this couple is doing too. The only thing I can think of that might be a problem is the no dinner thing? I disagree with the couple's decision, but it's also not heinous/tacky/whatever Twitter wants to call it. People need to chill.
It's how you word it though. How you are saying it "if you feel inclined to give a gift, we have a honeymoon set up" is sooo much better than demanding "no physical gifts, cash only". Most people my age (30s) only give cash because I agree with you.. it feels so odd to give physical gifts in this day and age.
Also, dressing black tie while having other expensive parts of the wedding pared down help elevate the experience, so it doesn't feel "cheap" and also help like a wedding. People getting made at poor people getting married makes my heart hurt. Like if you don't have enough money you don't deserve love or being celebrated.
I had a wedding package done at Harvey's in Lake Tahoe. It included a video, chapel venue, a person who did the ceremony, a small wedding cake, and a bottle of champagne. It was actually quite beautiful. I'm glad we did it.
I 100% agree with you. It’s their wedding, don’t like it, don’t come. That simple. You have to make choices within your budget and prioritize what matters to you, the married couple. Also sounds like they just bought a house recently, which is a big expense. They’re being smart. Sounds like a couple who will last! And yes, people are SO entitled to your wedding. My wedding is in a month, and we made a harsh decision to have only the bridal party and immediate family there. I have a large extended family, and he has many friends he grew up with. When we made the list, it was like 200 people. Not only was that terrifying as an introvert, it would end up costing nearly 80-100k. Which is INSANE. our 30 person ceremony plus dinner will be costing about 35k. Which is STILL A LOT OF MONEY. But it’s within our budget, and it lets us splurge on things we care about - a more expensive photographer, pay for hair and makeup for all my bridesmaids and grandmothers/mothers, better food, and an open bar. I love my extended family, but I love them more in smaller groups because they’re a LOT when it’s all 80 of them. The amount of explaining I had to do to angry family though …. Wow. We’re live streaming the ceremony for anyone who wants to watch so they can be part of the most important part of the wedding. I don’t need to pay for you to have a party if I don’t want that party for myself.
I'm so confused...Is it not normal in other countries to ask for money or have a dresscode??? In The Netherlands its normal to ask for money. They print a little envelope on the invitation. I thought it was common....
as an american i am assuming the people outraged are my fellow americans. literally no one is weirder about money while also trying so hard to flex wealth at the same time. its strange behaviour.
@@H.A.-zr2wc up to and including nothing at all! all of this is “appreciated but not required” energy. i’m still in shock, but i guess that’s boomers in the american south for you 😭😂
I agree with you Robert. I don't think their invitation was in anyway entitled or rude. Planning my own wedding as well, I can completely understand where the couple is coming from and as a guest, I would appreciate how clear their instructions are and what to expect.
Me and my now husband asked for money as a wedding gift. We thought this was best because we alreadylived together. I'm now concerned 😅 P.s. love these reactions. Please do another Reddit thread! 🖤🖤🖤
I wish I'd done that! We didn't do a gift list or request cash & we got sooooooo many repeat gifts. Funnily enough we got a LOT of towel sets! 😂 still got many of them to this day, 21yrs later 😂😂😂
I have at least 8 black dresses. I spend more money buying drinks at a bar, so dipping out to grab dinner and return to party w/open bar is a sweet deal. People feel entitled to a free meal and it’s sad. Also, I’ve seen folks go to formal events dressed inappropriately and drank all the liquor. Nope.
There honestly is nothing to nitpick with this invitation. Emily Post would balk at the lack of mailed paper invites, but Emily Post has been dead for nearly 64 years.
......... who doesn't have a black outfit?!?! also you can rent suits, for both men and women. and here in the US you can rent dresses as well. I am plus sized, tall, AND busty, and I got my dress for my best friend's black-attire wedding for $85. and who doesn't have black shoes? also I don't want to shop for your gift- PLEASE do a money thing. I am Jewish, we always just give cash! abd a digital invite that I cannot physically lose like a bit of paper? this rage is odd as hell hahaha
I worked in a liquor store where a bride out with her friends for her bachelorette party came in as customers and decided to leave handmade ads all over our store with her venmo information asking to send money or "buy her a drink". I wouldn't have cared if they had asked permission first, but they didn't ask permission, it's soliciting, and possibly illegal because there's no way to know the age of the bride. So we had to go around the store, which is a very large store, basically picking up garbage slips of paper that they left behind without permission.
![Blox Fruits Dragon Rework Update [Full Stream]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/EqDAp8udhm0/mqdefault.jpg)
I can’t be the only one … who doesn’t see an issue here??
yep, no issue, and love the 'dinner break' idea before the reception - brilliant
We should all get together and go and support small business and donate lots of money to show the bride and groom who their real friends are. 👍🥰
I think it's a fab modern wedding.
Wedding guests are supposed to be celebrating a union, not judging the perks. Calm tf down
No issue here, everybody should do a wedding they can afford. If you care about the couple you go, and they don't say don't come unless you send us money... Also as you said, the clothes don't have to cost so much... And the open bar will be soo expensive
The complaints make me feel like I’m on crazy pills. If I got invited to this wedding I would be SO happy about it- easy dress code, not locked into some long meal I may not want, no shopping for pointless gifts. If I had a friend I would be more than happy to show up in a clean dress and venmo them $50, like what’s the big deal???
i LITERALLY don’t get it i’m SO confused.
am i in the twilight zone?
That old lady was so disturbed that the guests had to wear all black 😂😂😂
Many couples live together long before the nuptials and have all they need! Helping with money for a honeymoon, or whatever, seems GREAT to me! Many people have been doing cash in a card for DECADES! It's not that serious! I do think the text is a bit slighting, but it is 2024! Bring on the fun, I say!!!! ✨️💚✨️✌🏻💚🙏🏻
@@rebeccavorwald3608right?! With the text I kind of get it because it can be hard tracking down everyone’s address these days or being worried about things getting lost in the mail or people moving without you knowing
So many people have a cash donation option on their wedding registries in ADDITION to the gifts they want. It’s nothing new at all! I’d so much rather contribute the $50 I’d spend on a salt and pepper shaker to my friends having a nice trip experience!
wedding with an open bar and i don’t have to worry about buying a gift from a registry??? i am so in
I know right!!
After being a bridesmaid 8 times, I would NEVER have a traditional wedding. The entitlement of everyone! The expectations. The pressure. The cost. The politics. The COST. The familial and social drama. The intense overstimulation!! And so stressful!
This reception sounds like a dream.
So let me get this straight, it's not okay to "fund their honeymoon" but it is okay to furnish their home with physical gifts? The math isn't mathing. Also I think people don't understand what a black tie event means.
And almost every registry I’ve seen has included a cash donation request along with the gifts lol. This couple is super reasonable
Black tie may mean something different in the UK than the US? Black tie implies men must be in tuxedos and women must be in floor length dresses. But later in the invite it says cocktail dresses and pant suits.
I’d rather have $20 instead of a $20 item I won’t use. Makes sense to me. Idk what these people are thinking
I think it's aways rude to assume someone is getting you a gift. I invite people for their company, not their gift.
@@arachnid33 yes, there are ways to let people know their desires without coming out and saying, "Yo, Venmo me." I do think wedding guests understand the ritual of gift giving at wedding celebrations.
As someone with a South Asian background only money makes sense as a gift, I don’t understand why these western people are so angry. Maybe it’s because they couldn’t pass on their own shitty gifts to someone else 🤷♀️
Seriously. I've known several people that have worked at Target amd Walmart (and several big box stores often found in malls back in the day like Macy's amd JCP.) And they all said it was soooo so common for people to be returning a cart load or two of gifts in exchange for gift cards. Either it was stuff not on their list and they had neither any use nor desire for them or they got a bunch of dupes. Like just give cash or a gift card.
That is probably exactly what they want to do, regift to save money and be able to eat themselves silly.
😂😂😂 that might be it
Weddings can bring out the worst in guest behavior!! Ppl please stop the insanity!❤
South East Asian and I don't get it either. Honestly, I have always thought the concept of a registry to be the "tacky" event.
In today's economy, and the fact they just moved into a new home, I totally get this. Also, in some areas, like Asia, it's totally normal to gift cash in order to help with the cost if the wedding 🤷🏻♀️
Yes exactly!
It makes so much more sense to help people get off to a good start together with a little cash. I mean lots of people do that for recent grads going off to college to start their lives.
I'm indian by culture . we prefer cash as it goes to couple's savings on new home or new life costs. Close relationship will always give that as blessings. But acquaintances gift coolers cookers pans 😂😂😂lol
Literally what I was going to comment. I am Indian and rarely someone brings a gift otherwise everyone tends to give cash
same in Mexico. I don't think I've ever gone to a wedding where people actually bring gifts it's always money only
13 minutes of Robert roasting people for being stupid is something I live for.
Literally, they did nothing wrong. Why are people so high and mighty over others weddings? It's an open bar with snacks. Weddings shouldn't have to break the bank!
Completely agree!
I prefer drinks (soft) and light refreshments to rubber chicken! They can serve spiralized courgette salads, petits fours, special Chex Mix, and make it fun! I'd rather not stuff up before dancing anyway.
Exactly! In this economy? Plus they just bought a house too, that’s expensive enough! And those people think the couple should by them a steak dinner? 😂
Adult event. Perfectly reasonable.
Open bar. Perfect. This can be very expensive.
No formal dinner. Perfectly reasonable.
Black clothing. Perfectly reasonable.
No gifts. Only cash . Perfect. Easy shop.
I don't see any issue with any of this. . If you do...then don't go to the wedding. End of. Simple
"Black tie dresscode" doesn't mean all black. It means a black tux for men and a ballgown for women. The ballgown can be any color you want, but they're saying no cocktail dress will do.
Never understood why people have a problem with a honeymoon fund, but never spending a hundred or more on something like a kitchen appliance from the registery
Right?! Like people put crazy expensive vacuums on their registry even though they already have a vacuum. I’d so much rather pay for my friend to have a great time on their honeymoon for that same amount of money
Also I’ve had someone in real life say that sending cash is tacky because then the wedding couple know how much you’ve spent & they prefer to buy something off a registry. I did try explaining that unless they bought the couple a gift that wasn’t on the registry, the couple would still know what they’d spent on the gift. They still didn’t get it 😂
@@ericadrake387 wow 😂😂
So normal in Australia to have cash or funds towards a honeymoon. Honestly makes it easier for the guests to not have to pick a gift or find something before the wedding.
I did see one couple that put out basically a go-fund-me for their "dream honeymoon" on social media. I thought that was kind of tacky. If I knew them well enough to be invited to the wedding then sure I can give cash instead of a gift. But to blast that to all of your "friends" on social media? I think they realized this because I looked at one point and their link was no longer valid. So I think there is a fine line there.
I've been married three times. First time was the spendy, big party. Second time was at our house, but we had food catered, and spent a decent amount on guests. Third was in our living room, 5 of us total, and I made our own wedding cake. And none of those marriages lasted. Weddings have been twisted out of a ceremony committing love and life to each other into a party that must impress the guests. Sad.
My parents had a 'spendy, big party'... they are at 40 years now
@what.the.whatever I think the point is no matter if the event is expensive or affordable, big or small, none of these factors weigh into if a marriage will last or not
And Instagram pictures
@@tiffl4592 I understand
@@tiffl4592 Actually, statists dictate that the more you spend the more likely you are to get divorced so....
I think people are mistaking the request for a monetary gift as an entrance fee or assuming the bride and groom are saying its a requirement, theyre not... They're literally just saying "instead of gifts use the cash you'd spent on a PHYSICAL gift and give us the money instead.." sheeesh... 🙄
My brother and his wife did this for their wedding. They requested donations to their honeymoon fund instead of physical gifts. Nobody seemed to have an issue with this.
It's also cheaper cos you don't need any wrapping 😂
I agree with the sentiment of the invite. The wording was awkward to me. They didn't need to hire a wedding planner, but I feel they should have hired a professional writer or editor to help them with this invitation.
@@therealJamieJoywhy? It's very simple and easy to follow.
@@Insertia_Nameia A little bit verbose.
I’m also curious about whatever friend or family member even leaked the invitation, because the couple doesn’t need someone like that in their lives.
People are still so traditional in terms of weddings… like first of all it’s not your special day and second of all, be grateful that the person thinks you’re close enough of a friend/loved one to invite you to such a personal event!
Exactly! 🖤
Thats so teue, that they are special enough to invite. I love that thinking
This!
I actually love this! This is great… people have gotten so lazy when it comes to weddings.. wearing jeans, flip flops. As well they are giving you free booze ALL NIGHT! This sounds like a great evening, invite me! I’ll come and be great full 😊
I don’t get why requesting a monetary gift is so taboo. Who doesn’t like money? Why do people like to pretend they don’t like money hahaha.
I’m a reclusive childless cat lady who rarely leaves the house and EVEN I have a black cocktail dress in my closet. I see nothing wrong with this. People are so far up their own asses to be happy for others. 🙄
You sound exactly like me except I have a child 😂
Same but no cat!
As a catlady of 3, I second that! I actualloy have several cocktail dresses in different colors, like this is a dress, it doesn't get spoiled, gosh, people nowadays.
In my case, I don't have any problem with the invitation, just the dress because I don't have it and I'm pretty lazy to dress like that, but I know that's my problem xD
Yep, got my emergency dress. It is dark navy but I may be able to get away with it. If not I know I could buy something nice on sale for less than 50 bucks if I was motivated to find it. My partner has that one black emergency suit, in case someone gets married or dies.
As someone who has gotten married - not only are the invitations themselves ridiculously expensive, but then there is also the postage! I would have happily sent a text to my guests if I had thought about it!
I would rather give cash, wear a simple black dress, have an open bar with some light snacks - I'm not going to a wedding to be absolutely catered to, I am going to a wedding to celebrate the people that are getting married.
This scenario is the perfect wedding, and I fail to see why people are outraged.
....and why would you spend 1k on a dress?! Good lord order one off Amazon for goodness sake.
I agree. Most people are just going to throw those expensive invitations in the trash. Maybe it would be nice to have a few printed on really nice paper for people like mum and grandma who will keep it for sentimental reasons.
I agree...giant over the top weddings are ridiculous! Put a down payment on a house!
Right!!???
hot take i think spending $200k minimum on a wedding in this economy is tackier than just being like “yeah come vibe at our function” lmao
Yes, this!
@krystalynkerseyyou absolutely can…if you can afford it. They’re talking about those who could only afford one and choose the wedding
@@swolerabbitwhat’s tacky is you trying to shame people who want to spend a lot of money on THEIR WEDDING and THEIR SPECIAL DAY. If it’s not okay to shame people for not spending thousands of dollars on their SPECIAL DAY, why do you think it’s okay to shame people who spend thousands of dollars on their wedding?
Do people not bring gifts to a wedding anymore? Would it be any different if they labeled it as a "honeymoon fund" specifically? If you're spending money on a gift anyway, might as well give them something they'll want or that'll be useful, even if its just cash. Them telling you what they want takes the guess work out of getting a gift and makes it easier for you anyway.
People need to find new hobbies or take a nap instead of getting mad for the sake of getting mad over nothing
If you planned on buying a physical gift anyway, why not just give the amount you'd spend on it in cash? I don't see the problem. 🤷♀️
Right? Same.
its CRAZY too because all these twitter yappers saying "declined" and "i would never go" etc etc are acting as if they personally got the invite LMAOOO like calm down, you have no where to get invited to in the first place 💀💀
Love people outraged about an event they were not invited to… UNHINGED!!!
Omg, right? Why does everyone have to be enraged about everything, aren’t they exhausted ?
I was just thinking the exact same thing!
@@just_an_old_nicole WAY TOO MUCH ENERGY MAD AT NOTHING!
Hatin from outside the club when they can’t even get in
Right!! I have enough to worry about in my own life let alone a happy couple who I’ll never meet
I agree with EVERYTHING you said. The best part of the wedding invite in my opinion is the small snacks and appetizers! Especially with an open bar. Who wants to sit down and have a full course meal with an open bar? The alcohol or the meals will go to waste because no one wants to get sick or throw up. The couple probably wanted their adult friends and family to drink, eat snacks, dance, talk, take pictures, and have fun. Not everything has to be “traditional”or “family friendly”.
*”a lot of people are plenty outraged”*
Perfectly describes just the whole internet in 2024 😂
Also, I don’t know why people are mad at the wedding couple 😅
😂😂😂😂
Probs jealousy
11:42 "Because they don't want to you there." Robert's brutal honesty is killing me in the best way 😂 x
It's funny how people think that this is inappropriate or tacky. There is nothing wrong with this invitation, you get plus 1, an open bar, a beautiful evening with family and friends, and a big bonus you don't have to break your brain on what to buy as a gift.
I don’t know if people understand just how expensive open bars can be. I host events for work and our open bars cost a lot of money. This couple is putting a lot of money into the food and drinks, more than people think
Nah, they’re just ahead of their time.
"Black is a very luxury color, I'll have you know." Omg if only I had this line prepared as a teen goth at family get togethers 😭
Don’t wedding guests usually give the couple money??! I thought that was normal. I’ve always given a card with money in it; cash or a VISA card.
It is lol. We usually have a money box or a box with the cards with money in them
I plan on making my dress, buying fake flowers, ordering pizzas; if a text message is bad my wedding will be the worst! Lmao
Same! I want to be in bed by 9pm
you’re going to have the best time, omg!
i eloped and just had a fun dinner with friends after, never regretted a thing, saved a ton of money for things that you know… matter in life.
@@Robert_ReactsWe were home by 8:30! The reception was at a nice restaurant 2 blocks away from our house & the entire thing was low fuss.
I’m 33 and single so I doubt a wedding is ever in my future, but I always said I would do pizzas and cupcakes to keep it easy! I’d include some gluten free and dairy free pizzas as well to keep it simple and inclusive
Pizza is genius.
People are so fckn weird about weddings. My husband and I quietly got married with just our witnesses present.
Our family found out after and THEY then decided to throw us a little celebratory dinner with a cute little wedding cake. We did not ask nor expect anything from anyone but were very surprised and grateful to them for wanting to celebrate for us. I really don’t get how crazy some people get when it comes to weddings 🤷🏻♀️
Much more tacky is to make a wish list of compulsory, overpriced items that must be purchased as a kind of entry fee to your ‘party’. Like “Please come to my birthday, and bring me a Barbie Dreamhouse, thanks!” 🙄
Yea and they didn't even say something like "donation must be over $100". That would probably be tacky
I’m honored to be a guest at a wedding. I feel special. The couple didn’t have to invite you. They chose to. As someone commented above in many cultures cash is the norm.
I thrifted a beautiful evening gown for a friend’s wedding and it cost me around 20€. Whoever says you have to spend $1000 to attend a wedding is crazy.
I feel like they just like being melodramatic. And also, you don't have to even buy a whole new outfit for every single event you go to like these people seem to be implying.
Yeah… that $1000 comment was crazy. For men it might cost more to purchase a suit jacket if they don’t own one, but not $1000. You can find a suit coat for under $100.
I would love this wedding. I have severe food allergies and it makes weddings really awkward for me with people asking why I’m not eating. I’d feel so comfortable at this wedding eating beforehand and just snacking or not snacking depending on what’s available and not feeling awkward about it. This couple seems like they’d probably be really chill and fun actually
I have been to many weddings..turned down a few tbh!!! So..this wedding:
1.Adults only..a dream!!! Who wants kids running around for the evening? I worked with kids for years..but cranky kids..no thanks!!
2. Open bar..A dream!!! I went to my friend's wedding £5.00 for a small diet coke!!!
3. Go for dinner 1st..great idea!!! We've all been to those sit down receptions where you get stuck with Great Aunt Doris..with luke warm meat and hard vegetables!!! Maccy D's on the way home..result!!!
4. Black suits/LBD. Everyone has something you can wear. You could just hire a tux..or go in black dress shirt and smart trousers!!! I have MANY black outfits!!
5. No gifts just cash. Brilliant!!! You either have ridiculous wedding lists with nothing under £100..or you end up with a load of crap you don't want!!! Cash is a brilliant idea!!! QR code..perfect!!!
Invitations are SOOOO expensive..don't mind text or email invites!!!
I'd be happy to go to this wedding!!!
Sign me up for this wedding please!!! 🥰🥰🥰 xxxxx
Id rather an open bar to full meal. I usually enjoy more of the appetizers/light snacks at weddings anyway 😄
Really, I would love to attend this wedding
and everyone gets a plus one!?
Hell yeah! I'd love to get invited to a wedding like this - flipping perfect 👌
The whole "adults only" thing is very polarizing. My fiancé and I are not having kids at our wedding. Second wedding for both so we are keeping it small and intimate and want it to be a fun party. Only kids coming are ours and only 1 of the four is still technically a child (15). His sister and brother-in-law got quite upset that his nephew is not invited.
As a society, we do not give enough appreciation for novelty door stops
As an old person, at least in the US, money, either cash or check, is the traditional/usual gift. Now, with people who have registries, you can choose to buy something they actually want or give money. That invite was fine. People just like to get pissed off and indignant about something.
So true!!!
100% agree
100% agree!! It’s also nice to see it’s not just younger generations confused at the “outrage” 😂
Thank you! I was starting to think money was only common in Asia but now I know it isn't uncommon (at least it wasn't) in the US either
Every wedding I’ve gone too has been cash “presents” - like no one wants a blender ???
The antisocial social influencer!? Robert, you’re our favorite🦄
😂😂😂🖤
Well said! 😂
so people would rather spend $100+ on miscellaneous items/furniture that the couple says they DONT need than just give the same amount of money to the couple to spend on a honeymoon? what?
I feel like some of these folk have never been to a wedding. You just put the cash you would've spent on a gift, in the card! Most of us can rustle up a "black tie" outfit from what we have in our wardrobes 😂
well when you’re a horrid bitch like these people, you tend not to have friends! so yeah, i imagine they’ve not received many invites. 😬
Love the fact that the comment “can we all say tacky” is by the account called “can we please have peace” 😂😂😂
Silly me, I thought weddings were about the people getting married and not about the guests
I’m Arab, and I did not realize that people gave physical gifts as wedding presents. We regularly put “no boxed gifts” on invites, and it’s the norm to give money as a gift to the couple.
Now traditionally, yes there’s supposed to be food and generosity, but as an American as well, I totally get and respect this set up. Especially since food at weddings is always hit or miss.
Malays in Malaysia and Singapore, and Indonesians have the same culture as well. We just give money. Not only at weddings but to children during Eid as well.
Within 17 seconds is a record for me. People have a damn problem there is nothing wrong with that invitation.
Thank you for being so early! 🙏🏻🙏🏻
@@Robert_Reacts NO, thank you for the entertaining, informative, wonderful content both you and your brother provide to me! I need it living in the US with my country going crazy and also supporting genocide.
Weddings are a money trap. A ridiculous amount. This seems like a bargain. Black at weddings in UK isn't that typical, or evening weddings, but everyone is still asked to look nice. Whether I like any of the factors or not, it's not my bloody special day 😅
@purplepixie274 Right too many think they are entitled to shit they just arent
Hear me out: what if we re-invent weddings? What if the couple merely throw a party that they can afford and gifts are no longer required or are, at least, just optional? Everyone always says,"we already live together - we need nothing." That's great. The origins of gift giving happened when most couples were quite young and starting out and the bride usually lived with her parents. They would have no households goods. So many wedding traditions are based on that assumption. Since that is not generally true anymore, let's just change a wedding to a nice party, not a lot different from a birthday party. A lot less can be spent by the couple and by the guests.
An open bar is INCREDIBLY generous. You know some guests will abuse their good will. Also - gifts are all well and good but what if your guests have ugly taste? 😅 At least if you’re contributing to a honeymoon you know that’s what they want! This has been a normal gift to every single wedding I’ve been to in the UK. It’s not tacky, it’s practical.
I think, if the couple didn't describe the dress code so specifically, everyone would be perfectly happy with what they asked for, i.e. ask the guests to either wear their sharpest/most sophisticated dress OR what colour they should wear, but not both.
Wow the audacity of these strangers. They're just as entitled as my immediate family. I got married in 2022 (a Covid wedding with lots of restrictions) - yet my family wanted a different wedding location rather than a venue of my choice (venue which was budget-friendly), they wanted a bigger space all for my relatives' comfort. They wanted to change this and that and I had to decline politely. It's my freaking big day, i paid half while my husband paid his half of the expenses. PERHAPS I would have considered their opinions if they'd help to gift or sponsor some of the expenses out of goodwill (not that i expect them to do so anyway). Long story short, dad and sisters backed out from walking down the aisle with me (My Mom passed 1 year prior) during the wedding. So my Mother in Law stepped in, (she is disgusted by my family to this day but loves me a lot❤) . And my Dad took the whole dowry for himself when it's meant to be mine. 5 months later, we decided to move out from my dad's place while waiting for our permanent home. So toxic.
The couple is definitely not in the wrong. QR code idea is genius btw
This infuriates me!! Weddings bring out the worst in people and show you who your real friends are. The wedding is about the people getting married. That’s it. No one else. It’s a privilege to be invited to witness it. The same people who complain about other people’s wedding would want everything they want at their wedding. I don’t care if someone gets married in their kitchen. It’s THEIR wedding, not mine. Anyone who makes someone else’s birthday or wedding about them is outing themselves as a very selfish person
What do you mean when you say your father took the whole dowry? I live in the US and dowry is an antiquated term here. Thanks for sharing your story!
Your dad withheld your dowry? That's disgusting. I'm glad you have a great MIL.
@@maryeckel9682 Will you please explain what is a dowry in current times?
Your dad took your 10 gold shillings and herd of goats!?! Hopefully, your husband got the key to your chastity belt!
Wtf? It's one of the chillest wedding invites I've ever seen. Easy dress code (literally EVERYONE has either a black dress/tux or a friend who can lend them one, ffs!!!). Open bar, no entry fee, cash gifts and no registry?? AND as a bonus I get to choose what I eat for dinner instead of eating some overpriced catering wedding food?? A DREAM. Jesus Christ.
No you're neither lost nor the only person who doesn't see a problem with this invitation.
One should go to a wedding because they want to share a special moment with the soon to be Mr. and Mrs., not for food and alcohol.
They don't have to sell their souls just to please their guests.
When people ask my what I want for xmas or my bday I say either some kind of homemade food item, a meal out or money that I can spend on yarn (or they can take me yarn shopping). When I got married we only accepted cash or it was alright to give nothing with no shame at all. These people aren't demanding cash, they are saying they don't want anything but if you want to give you can give cash. No big deal.
So the older folks (parents age) were like “it’s such a waste of money, just have a celebration and get married in court”. Fast forward to DAYS after we got engaged and they’re like “you can’t not have a wedding!” And then 6 months later when we say we are not going over budget they again said “just get married in court and have a dinner”. Are you EFFING kidding me. That’s what WE wanted but they insisted on the whole wedding thing. Ugh.
when i got married, we went to the courthouse got papers notarized and left it there i refused any kind of celebration or party it was the last thing i wanted lol
Wow! That's a lot of hate on a ceremony & reception by people that weren't even invited! 🤠
Why are people so crazy about wedding food? It's not that great, I always eat before the wedding. Also, I have never been to a wedding where wedding gifts have really been a thing. Most people give cash in a card, unless someone's grandmother gives you a special quilt, it is rare to see an actual gift.
I went to several weddings as a kid and the food, especially catered, was only ever so-so at best. Honestly I most like the food at a former friends wedding I went to at 19. It was a backyard wedding. They catered a small amount of BBQ, they had a cookout, and most the food was brought from us guest as a potluck.
They are not demanding money. They are saying, that they do not want physical gifts, but if (lets stress the IF) you want to give them something, they would appreciate money. And honestly, money as a gift was an option for a long, long time, so I really dont understand the fuss. Colors are also fine - the men would probably wear a black suit anyway, and for the ladies it is not that hard to find a black dress, if you dont have one already, as opposed to some crazy specific shade of green or whatever that some people demand... So the only thing I sort of understand is that there wont be a dinner served. Who knows what the couple is planning, might be more of a party then a sit down event.
I’m Italian and in our culture, we always give a “boosta” which is an envelope of money to the bride and groom as a way of paying for our invite, especially the dinner. Weddings are way too expensive these days and paying for all the guests becomes pricey. So to me, this isn’t strange at all.
I've been to black tie weddings and they weren't super dressed up but men wore in suits and women wore dresses. It's a nice way of saying don't wear jeans and a hoodie with sneakers. Because, yes, people will show up like that.
Our wedding cost £2000 all in and we still compliments on our day! Some even 14yrs later say it is still the best wedding they have been too, which is lovely to hear. You dont have to spend thousand of pounds for one day. What i loved about our wedding the most is a lot of the guests participated with items for the wedding i.e. mh nan made the table name cards and my boss wrote out the peoples names as she had beautiful handwriting, a girl i was on a course with made wonderful little baskets with sugared almonds for table favours. We where so grateful and felt so loved ❤❤❤
I am getting married in a few months, and this is pretty similar to what we're doing. We refuse to go into debt for a wedding, and we also can't afford to have the honeymoon right away. Our family and friends want to come and celebrate US, regardless of what we serve or the dress code. I think anons online have forgotten why we have weddings... we aren't offering services for payment.
Good for y'all and congratulations
Same! His family is annoyed at me for wanting a private ceremony and just a reception with cocktails and snacks too, but I’m not made of money, and I’m not inviting 200 people that I wouldn’t even invite to a cookout to my damn wedding for $90 a head😂
Congratulations! I'm getting married next year. Second wedding for both (we're in our early 50s) and we are keeping it small and don't want to spend a fortune on a wedding. Only issue we've had is that we aren't having kids other than our own (3 out of the 4 are 18+) and his sister and brother-in-law are upset that his nephew isn't invited. We just want to have a fun party with family/friends and not have to worry about kids running around. And it's at a literal bar (that also serves food). We're renting out the whole place for the afternoon.
@@AshleyfromTX Heck I'm getting married next year and $90 a head is cheap compared to what we found for traditional wedding venues. We're keeping it around 50 people. But yeah when you are doing your guest list you have to really think who you really like enough to spend that kind of money on them.
In my culture, we tend to give money to the bride and groom. Generally its in an unmarked envelope as not to expose anyone and you give what you can afford. We also offer to cater or take of tasks for the bride and groom, eg; my mum paid for my venue, my husbands family paid for drinks etc. The idea is that we help each other out, and debt is frowned upon. I look at this like if we all help each other out, then it makes life easier, weddings, funerals etc. I left my wedding with zero debt and enough to pay for half my honeymoon. The idea is to make your marital union easier and from what i see in the UK, starting with £20k debt is a recipe for disaster due to the stress alone.
I see nothing wrong. I've heard of and have been to plenty of weddings that ask for donations towards honeymoons 🤷🏼♀️ one wedding asked for cash so they could put it towards their newborn baby
Exactly!
My husband and I have been married for 16 years. We got married at a free public park by a family friend. We wore nice dress clothes and personally invited all 20 people who attended. We provided a cake from a grocery store and that was it. All we cared about was being married. It was one of the best days of our lives as we were home health care workers at the time and some of our clients surprised us by coming. You don’t need to spend a fortune to have a happy and lasting marriage. Our money went into creating our first home together and the adoption of our daughter.
Ppl are spoiled and want to be treated at the couple's expense. I loved the heads up to know I don't have to waste time gift shopping and give them the money instead
My husband and I had a relatively small wedding (~60 people). As all of my family lives abroad, I made digital cards on Canva and sent them via email or WhatsApp. We also had a website linked with all the details of the venue, rsvp and guests could choose the food options. On the website we said something along the lines of “we don’t need gifts, we just want you to come, but if you really want to give us something we would appreciate donations to fund our dream honeymoon”. Some physical gifts were still made and we still appreciated them, but no one ever thought it was rude of us to ask them to help us make what are
currently the most wonderful memories of our lives!
I've done a similar thing for the website for my fiancé and me. We have a house full of stuff so I said that gifts are not required but appreciated.
This is a dream wedding to me. They're literally taking all of the guesswork out of it for you and providing an open bar. Sign me up! I wish all weddings were like this.
people not at all recognizing that not everything is about them - including other people’s weddings - is fucking wild to me!
imagine being such a narcissist you’d make someone else’s reception about you. much tackier to me than an open bar.
also not quite sure how “we don’t need a third air fryer but that amount in cash to put towards a fancy dinner at our honeymoon would be great” is offensive.
i used to work in target customer service, and the amount of people i got DAILY returning - im not kidding - 3 air fryers from a registry for a gift card was ridiculous. just give the gift card.
Exactly. I've known several people that have worked at target and walmart that say the same exact thing. People return most the gifts they get because they don't need them or they got a slew of dupes. Like instead of spending hundred on an airfryer or damn near a grand on a kitchen kitchenaide stand mixer, without any attachments, you cam just give them a couple hundy and call it a day. Or 20 bucks. This couple sounds like they'd appreciate a 20 and a card as well.
@@Insertia_Nameia yeah, fr! $5 would have been the cost of a fancy drink on my honeymoon, and i’d have been SO thankful! literally any amount - including none - is fine? 😂
the people who jumped to “oh so u can’t even afford your honeymoon?!” are really giving the classic twitter “OH SO YOU FUCKING HATE BANANAS?!?” meme.
girl no one said that 😭😂
I’ve been thinking about this and possibly the issue with cash is that it has a numerical value attached to it and you cannot really just give £100, you’ll need to provide several hundreds (unless you’re a single person), whereas you definitely could purchase an item from the registry for just a bit over £100.
So maybe it’s that? 🤔
No matter what type of wedding you choose to have- someone will complain. Just do what makes sense for you as a couple and what makes you happy as a couple. Your people who get you will love you and want to support and celebrate you regardless. Much luck and health to the couple getting married in this story❤
I love that you know exactly what to expect. My kind of invite and people
Robert reacting to something no matter what it is, definitely is always a funny experience😂❤
😂😂😂
Classic wedding etiquette is that you are the host of your wedding and you are meant to entertain your guests, it’s not a requirement but prepared for people not to come or stick around long
I'm a vegetarian, so I often eat beforehand anyway for events like those. I'd totally go to that wedding - open bar is the best part! I'm morally opposed to weddings costing over $15k, and love seeing people boycott the price-gouging of the wedding industry.
Going to weddings as a kid always gave me anxiety. I didn’t grow up with the stereotypical dreaming of my future wedding thing. I’m glad my husband was on the same page as me. We payed $50 extra (ended up being $100) for a “courthouse” wedding and that let us get married at a local art museum. We had three witnesses and went to dinner afterwards. It was perfect and very small.
❤ So lovely.
These people piling on are bonkers! First, an e-invite saves trees. An open bar, venue rental and finger foods are all expensive in themselves! And, if they are already established, why not contribute cash to their honeymoon? Geez!
I really don’t see the problem?
Same!
Neither do I, Nigerians do this all the time lol! I don’t get what the problem is.
That sounds like a beautiful wedding and I completely appreciate them being so detailed in the invitation and letting you know ahead of time what to expect!! Bravo to them!
When my friends got married they did an optional reception at a nearby restaurant where you paid for your own dinner. I didn't think it was tacky.
That’s cute too! Come and celebrate if you want !
you get to pick your own meal instead of having 2 options, 1 and a half of which are usually seafood. a huge win in my book 😂
I agree with everything you said. I think it actually sounds like a really tasteful event, where you are there to celebrate what really matters and not to indulge at the expense of others.
I got married this year and did it all for under 2k. We did not go into debt over it. We did not have an open bar, we didn't have a dj and had bbq style food. It was a lovely day, with almost 70 people present and I even asked people to not get new clothes for it or get them 2nd hand - I'm a big vinted/charity shop supporter. Everything we used for the decor we bought 2nd hand and resold it. There is no need to impress anyone with a wedding - do what you want. If someone doesn't like it, they don't have to be there!
We did our wedding and our 10 yr vow renewal on a budget and it still was beautiful!!! Spending a shit ton on a party just didn't sit right with us.
I absolutely agree!
What people forget about weddings is just because you wouldn’t do it, doesn’t mean it’s wrong that some else does it!
Literally got here in 2 minutes. Let’s go Robert! Luv from Canada 🇨🇦
Edit after watching: OMG. I wish I did that for my wedding. We ended up so much unnecessary shit we really didn’t need. We gave a registry list but people decided they knew better and bought us whatever they wanted. It was just so stupid. I wish I had just said cash only for the honeymoon. The only thing I hope is that they had enough food for the open bar. Just liability thing. Make sure everyone eats and no drinking & driving. I think people are overreacting. This is fine. Happy for them. Hope they have a wonderful life together.
🖤🖤🖤 thank you for being so early!
@@Robert_Reacts of course lovely! Always look forward to your videos. 😊 also I TOTALLY agree with you. These twitter comments are stupid. Nothing is wrong with the invite. I hope the couple have a great time & the happiest of ever afters. 🖤💜
I 100% agree with you, Robert. The negativity this couple is receiving is uncalled for. My husband and I had a private elopement ceremony and then hosted a music bash about a month later at a local bar/music venue. The event was free and open to the public. (We both worked in the independent music industry at the time, a musician and publicist respectively, and had many music fans as friends.) Our guests got to see several great artists, one of whom is now famous. We even had a wedding registry, though admittedly, we didn't need much and we only made it because people who couldn't attend insisted on sending a gift, so we restricted it to affordable things we needed. Anyway, everyone had a blast. It's possible to be price-conscious and still offer everyone a good time.
I'm also confused what the problem is?? My fiance and I are planning on asking for money for a honeymoon if people feel so inclined to give us a gift. We're both almost 30. We're adults. We don't need physical items. We also aren't expecting anyone to give us money. It sounds like this is EXACTLY what this couple is doing too.
The only thing I can think of that might be a problem is the no dinner thing? I disagree with the couple's decision, but it's also not heinous/tacky/whatever Twitter wants to call it.
People need to chill.
It's how you word it though. How you are saying it "if you feel inclined to give a gift, we have a honeymoon set up" is sooo much better than demanding "no physical gifts, cash only". Most people my age (30s) only give cash because I agree with you.. it feels so odd to give physical gifts in this day and age.
Also, dressing black tie while having other expensive parts of the wedding pared down help elevate the experience, so it doesn't feel "cheap" and also help like a wedding. People getting made at poor people getting married makes my heart hurt. Like if you don't have enough money you don't deserve love or being celebrated.
I got married in Vegas at the Planet Hollywood with only my closest friends/family and it was the best decision I’ve made.
I had a wedding package done at Harvey's in Lake Tahoe. It included a video, chapel venue, a person who did the ceremony, a small wedding cake, and a bottle of champagne. It was actually quite beautiful. I'm glad we did it.
I 100% agree with you. It’s their wedding, don’t like it, don’t come. That simple. You have to make choices within your budget and prioritize what matters to you, the married couple. Also sounds like they just bought a house recently, which is a big expense. They’re being smart. Sounds like a couple who will last!
And yes, people are SO entitled to your wedding. My wedding is in a month, and we made a harsh decision to have only the bridal party and immediate family there. I have a large extended family, and he has many friends he grew up with. When we made the list, it was like 200 people. Not only was that terrifying as an introvert, it would end up costing nearly 80-100k. Which is INSANE. our 30 person ceremony plus dinner will be costing about 35k. Which is STILL A LOT OF MONEY. But it’s within our budget, and it lets us splurge on things we care about - a more expensive photographer, pay for hair and makeup for all my bridesmaids and grandmothers/mothers, better food, and an open bar. I love my extended family, but I love them more in smaller groups because they’re a LOT when it’s all 80 of them.
The amount of explaining I had to do to angry family though …. Wow. We’re live streaming the ceremony for anyone who wants to watch so they can be part of the most important part of the wedding. I don’t need to pay for you to have a party if I don’t want that party for myself.
I'm so confused...Is it not normal in other countries to ask for money or have a dresscode??? In The Netherlands its normal to ask for money. They print a little envelope on the invitation. I thought it was common....
as an american i am assuming the people outraged are my fellow americans. literally no one is weirder about money while also trying so hard to flex wealth at the same time. its strange behaviour.
@@swolerabbit I'm honestly so confused🤣
@@H.A.-zr2wc it makes no sense to be angry!? like instead of buying them a lamp, just send them the $30 you would have spent on the lamp?!
@@swolerabbit Seriously! Its not like they demand a certain amount, you just gift what you can afford
@@H.A.-zr2wc up to and including nothing at all! all of this is “appreciated but not required” energy. i’m still in shock, but i guess that’s boomers in the american south for you 😭😂
I agree with you Robert. I don't think their invitation was in anyway entitled or rude. Planning my own wedding as well, I can completely understand where the couple is coming from and as a guest, I would appreciate how clear their instructions are and what to expect.
Me and my now husband asked for money as a wedding gift. We thought this was best because we alreadylived together. I'm now concerned 😅
P.s. love these reactions. Please do another Reddit thread! 🖤🖤🖤
Nothing to be concerned about! That’s 100% a normal thing to do
I wish I'd done that! We didn't do a gift list or request cash & we got sooooooo many repeat gifts. Funnily enough we got a LOT of towel sets! 😂 still got many of them to this day, 21yrs later 😂😂😂
I have at least 8 black dresses.
I spend more money buying drinks at a bar, so dipping out to grab dinner and return to party w/open bar is a sweet deal.
People feel entitled to a free meal and it’s sad.
Also, I’ve seen folks go to formal events dressed inappropriately and drank all the liquor. Nope.
There honestly is nothing to nitpick with this invitation. Emily Post would balk at the lack of mailed paper invites, but Emily Post has been dead for nearly 64 years.
Weddings and funerals are exploitative industries, and for what? In this economy?
I think door stops are my new go-to wedding gift 😂
I was so ready to be outraged, but I'm not. Easy dress code, open bar, snacks, no kids? I'd be down.
Same!
Open bar for a wedding can sometimes cost more than the food! You can definitely tell some things about some of these commenters 🤣
......... who doesn't have a black outfit?!?! also you can rent suits, for both men and women. and here in the US you can rent dresses as well. I am plus sized, tall, AND busty, and I got my dress for my best friend's black-attire wedding for $85. and who doesn't have black shoes? also I don't want to shop for your gift- PLEASE do a money thing. I am Jewish, we always just give cash! abd a digital invite that I cannot physically lose like a bit of paper? this rage is odd as hell hahaha
I worked in a liquor store where a bride out with her friends for her bachelorette party came in as customers and decided to leave handmade ads all over our store with her venmo information asking to send money or "buy her a drink". I wouldn't have cared if they had asked permission first, but they didn't ask permission, it's soliciting, and possibly illegal because there's no way to know the age of the bride. So we had to go around the store, which is a very large store, basically picking up garbage slips of paper that they left behind without permission.