ASMReading Basic Skills Caucasian Americans Workbook

Поделиться
HTML-код

Комментарии • 1,2 тыс.

  • @hoang-my-anhdo6018
    @hoang-my-anhdo6018 4 года назад +277

    This book was written specifically to parody "educational" books about Native Americans for primary-school students, which often oversimplify Native American history and customs, and speak about Native Americans entirely in the past tense.

    • @Krokodil-vj7xq
      @Krokodil-vj7xq 3 года назад +17

      Books like this actually existed?

    • @hoang-my-anhdo6018
      @hoang-my-anhdo6018 3 года назад +24

      @@Krokodil-vj7xq Yes, lots of primary school textbooks (and even some secondary school textbooks) and children's nonfiction reading about Native Americans greatly simplify complex belief systems and describe them as "superstitions", and a great, obsessive focus on aspects of mundane daily life and everyday tools. There are also culturally inappropriate (or just "iffy") supplementary activities, like "imagine a day in the life of a leader!" and making replicas of religious artefacts. Some books also have the tendencies to have patronising pronunciation guides for words whose pronunciations are fairly easy/obvious (including "tribe" and "clan"!).

    • @msw1shes
      @msw1shes 3 года назад

      Misinformation also in movies. If you watch the old Aladdin movie on Disney + there's a disclaimer before it starts. Stating it is not pc

    • @williamwallace4080
      @williamwallace4080 3 года назад +1

      @@hoang-my-anhdo6018 Belief systems are superstitions by nature.

    • @MountainMan-sc8xj
      @MountainMan-sc8xj Год назад

      @@hoang-my-anhdo6018 uh based?

  • @vam5053
    @vam5053 7 лет назад +451

    "hip hop was mostly about *female canines* and certain gardening tools"

  • @CommanderNixon
    @CommanderNixon 7 лет назад +407

    *_One of the last living Caucasian males recites the story of his people_** ; circa 2017 colorized*

  • @TheCookinHam
    @TheCookinHam 7 лет назад +92

    This is not shitposting. This is satire. And this is the highest level of satire I have ever seen. Well done! Now, excuse me why i continue to die of laughter.

  • @MaebyBaeby
    @MaebyBaeby 7 лет назад +188

    Being descended from Caucasian Americans myself, it’s good to to see the history and heritage of my ancestors *finally* get the spotlight it deserves!

  • @mattball420
    @mattball420 4 года назад +51

    Hes got one of those optical illusion sweaters, like that gold/blue dress, it appears to be shades of brown but its actually the whitest sweater you can wear

  • @seniorpickle7936
    @seniorpickle7936 7 лет назад +270

    📂Documents
    └📁Media
    └📁Ephemeral Rift
    └📁 Bad Videos
    └⚠️ This folder is empty

    • @alexc.1346
      @alexc.1346 4 года назад +8

      I know this is late but this is the type of comments corny Eminem fans comment under his music

    • @BigT.Larrity
      @BigT.Larrity 4 года назад +9

      @@alexc.1346 Well I've never seen it before so I enjoyed it very much

    • @brandonstone4315
      @brandonstone4315 3 года назад

      @@alexc.1346 ?

  • @reddeadtoodloo3402
    @reddeadtoodloo3402 6 лет назад +45

    Hello, I am a Caucasian American Male as well. I greatly enjoyed this book, and shall read it while grilling in socks and sandals.

  • @gavinthroop2839
    @gavinthroop2839 7 лет назад +322

    Are people actually confused as to whether rift is being serious or not? It’s obviously a satirical book and video🙄🙄

    • @maxwell_edison
      @maxwell_edison 7 лет назад +12

      I thought people were exaggerating when I saw the top comments telling me not to scroll down due to the toxicity.
      I was wrong.

    • @parzival9841
      @parzival9841 7 лет назад +9

      Well, what you're forgetting, is that jokes hurt the blm people's feelings, so they aren't allowed

    • @toast6902
      @toast6902 7 лет назад +2

      Why the emojis.

    • @toast6902
      @toast6902 7 лет назад +2

      Parzival, they are allowed, people will still get butt-hurt over it.

    • @Anonymouseyoutuber
      @Anonymouseyoutuber 7 лет назад

      Maxwell Edison 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 XD👌

  • @zipporaid7
    @zipporaid7 7 лет назад +37

    Little does everyone know that this fits in perfectly with the style of ER.
    My theory is this:
    This book is a sample of a textbook created by a future civilization thousands if not millions of years after humans have gone extinct, and they only have taped recordings of contemporary news broadcasts at the time

  • @BeeseChurger11
    @BeeseChurger11 7 лет назад +92

    I love how the book talks about the U.S as if it were an ancient civilization

    • @foxfrightdario5175
      @foxfrightdario5175 4 года назад +12

      Wait....
      The US still exists?

    • @Eule153
      @Eule153 4 года назад +10

      @@foxfrightdario5175 impossible, the New-WorldSoviets made sure they ended the US

    • @foxfrightdario5175
      @foxfrightdario5175 4 года назад +4

      @@Eule153 yea... that's what I thought too...

    • @HIOAZA1523
      @HIOAZA1523 4 года назад +2

      Will be soon enough

    • @NeoMetaI
      @NeoMetaI 3 года назад

      What about Dio land

  • @immattlaramee
    @immattlaramee 7 лет назад +517

    Oh Jesus. This is going to be a fun comment section...

    • @grunt6257
      @grunt6257 7 лет назад +6

      It's absolutely amazing
      Can you sense the sarcasm?

  • @ayj1085
    @ayj1085 7 лет назад +259

    I give this video a "Vast quantities of sacred green paper" out of 10

  • @Thedeathdump
    @Thedeathdump 7 лет назад +466

    Everyone is saying how many triggered people there are in the comments but I️ have not seen a single triggered comment

    • @michaelvey0239
      @michaelvey0239 7 лет назад +21

      A lot more dislikes compared to likes than usual

    • @FourNamesFourEyes
      @FourNamesFourEyes 7 лет назад +2

      Are you sure about that?

    • @ataridc
      @ataridc 7 лет назад +20

      You aren't looking hard enough. But the conservative kids are always "triggered" over everything so it's easy to miss because it's nothing new

    • @3DSuperWaffle
      @3DSuperWaffle 7 лет назад +14

      the triggered comments all get disliked to shit and nobody sees them

    • @UpOnXFlame
      @UpOnXFlame 7 лет назад

      Eric Flores *triggered

  • @IAmNOWCreations
    @IAmNOWCreations 7 лет назад +356

    This book is interesting. It takes the language often used in anthropological analysis of non-western cultural practices and applies it to white Americans. The fact that many are wondering if it's a joke should help you realize the dominant frame in science and history is a Western one as you find it so odd to see the same analysis applied to white people.

    • @martin9555
      @martin9555 7 лет назад +65

      It's astounding how so many people in the comments don't seem to get that it's a satire aimed to criticize the self centered and vane perception that a lot of "Caucasian Americans" have of history and their culture. They're unconsciously confirming the point of the book, lol.

    • @IAmNOWCreations
      @IAmNOWCreations 7 лет назад +19

      Martín Rubio it's amusing yet disheartening to still see some commenters take this satire written in an objective-study type of language and immediately feel as if the customs described are being shown in a negative light. These people feed on fixed supremacy and forced reverence by others when describing them.

    • @jmartens759
      @jmartens759 7 лет назад +1

      I guess, but it doesn't really work because when they write about things like that in history books it's always in the context of a specific culture, not the race as a whole. Caucasian americans don't really have a culture like other racial groups do, so it just come across as a book ment to mock white people for what we do and shame us for the shitty things our ancestors did.

    • @IAmNOWCreations
      @IAmNOWCreations 7 лет назад +20

      blacksmith224 What does "don't really have a culture like other racial groups do" mean? They don't do things according to cultural norms and beliefs? They definitely do. They just have a hard time at objectively self analyzing. Especially since a lot of their cultural customs past to present don't result in pure positivity.

    • @CharlieGirlDoll
      @CharlieGirlDoll 7 лет назад +7

      I'm so glad there's people in the comment sections who actually get the idea of what's going on!

  • @CorruptPianist
    @CorruptPianist 7 лет назад +107

    This book makes a good point. Too many people - of all races - think of Caucasian as a sort of default, and everyone else as a variant. It's jarring to see the Caucasian Americans being spoken about like an exotic foreign culture... But you're forced to ask yourself, WHY is that so jarring? Is Caucasian america not just another culture?

    • @nonegone7170
      @nonegone7170 7 лет назад +7

      When it's your own culture ofcourse it sounds weird when someone speaks about like an exotic culture, your point is not valid

    • @AsSereneMonstersRest
      @AsSereneMonstersRest 7 лет назад +19

      you are not valid Stan... also you missed the point

    • @CorruptPianist
      @CorruptPianist 7 лет назад +11

      Stan That's exactly what I'm saying.

    • @LordVader1094
      @LordVader1094 6 лет назад +4

      +Stan
      That's literally what OP was saying, so his point IS valid, ya schmuck.

    • @franciafrancia2481
      @franciafrancia2481 6 лет назад +5

      Lol maybe Caucasian American is the default when you're in the U.S. but in other countries trust me it's not...
      I've lived my whole life in Asia and in my country the default is brown people with straight black hair...when we see Caucasians we immediately think "different" or "strange" or "pink meaty giants"...

  • @magic8ball202
    @magic8ball202 7 лет назад +447

    E.R I fear you’ll never run out of ideas😂

    • @c.reatureu.niverse7781
      @c.reatureu.niverse7781 7 лет назад +7

      Magic 8 Ball He might create an ASMR video of that...

    • @TheBlachHoleBath
      @TheBlachHoleBath 7 лет назад +12

      thats because he never will run out, thats why he's the best asmr youtuber ever.

    • @triggerhxppy
      @triggerhxppy 7 лет назад +2

      your fear is justified

    • @UpOnXFlame
      @UpOnXFlame 7 лет назад +2

      Magic 8 Ball why is that something you would fear 🤔

    • @asaltyone3015
      @asaltyone3015 7 лет назад

      E;R

  • @emmaoof3335
    @emmaoof3335 2 года назад +6

    i am Caucasian myself (1/16th on my moms side) and it's amazing to see such accurate representations of my culture!

  • @jacksonelh
    @jacksonelh 5 лет назад +13

    This book, and by extension, this video, has to be the best work of satire I've seen in a long while.

  • @thenasideofthemoon7612
    @thenasideofthemoon7612 Год назад +2

    Not everybody noticed but uncle E was wearing a traditional Caucasian American dress. that's love for history and attention to detail, kudos

  • @steamengineshooray
    @steamengineshooray 7 лет назад +14

    "Females, canines and certain gardening tools."
    I'm dying-

  • @therealsonicfan123
    @therealsonicfan123 7 лет назад +39

    Table of Contents for Mobile Users:
    00:06:00 Introduction for Teachers
    00:08:35 Chapter 1: The Very First Caucasian Americans
    00:11:00 Chapter 2: Caucasian American Homes
    00:18:33 Chapter 3: Caucasian American Clothing and Fashion
    00:27:19 Chapter 4: Caucasian American Languages
    00:32:35 Chapter 5: Caucasian American Food Production
    00:37:57 Chapter 6: Caucasian American Family Life
    00:41:54 Chapter 7: Caucasian American Education
    00:50:07 Chapter 8: Caucasian American Technology
    00:59:43 Chapter 9: Caucasian American Religion, Ceremonies, and Superstitions
    01:20:35 Chapter 10: Caucasian American Government
    01:28:36 Chapter 11: Caucasian American Leaders
    01:32:44 Chapter 12: Caucasian Americans Today

  • @tangerineman27
    @tangerineman27 7 лет назад +3

    Uncle E's channel is so expansive I close my eyes and scroll up down and some more quickly fast and click and boom. Something new of different every time

  • @calkestis5817
    @calkestis5817 7 лет назад +217

    Why do I sense a lot of sarcasm when he said “remarkable country”

    • @kickinitwithmydawg
      @kickinitwithmydawg 7 лет назад +8

      Qifan Zhao -- your senses are strong and correct.

    • @Flevir
      @Flevir 7 лет назад +38

      Alexander The Great Despite having shitty ratings in terms of overall happiness, standard of living, infrastructure, and freedoms compared to the rest of the industrialized modern world. Yep, so remarkable that other places did it better. XD

    • @KazuyaMithra
      @KazuyaMithra 7 лет назад +8

      Flevir EU and Japan are even more authoritarian. We generally have it good but haven't peaked in decades.

    • @Flevir
      @Flevir 7 лет назад +6

      KAZ Eh, some parts of the EU are more authoritarian, I agree there. With Japan it's a little more iffy, because it's not so much that there more authoritarian but that their culture is more collectivist than ours, in that the people are raised with the thought of the good of the many being more important than just the good of the one. Still individuality is encouraged there but essentially as a way to benefit the whole and not just the individual. I'd say it's not really authoritarian but is similar in appearance. But yeah, absolutely, we have not peaked in decades. The last time we were peaking was with the New Deal and FDR really, we've been pretty stagnant and even regressed a bit comparative to our level of development. It's pretty sad. I wish we'd get our act together and start making some decisions for the good of the people of the country and not just the rich.

    • @Flevir
      @Flevir 7 лет назад +5

      KAZ But yeah, I'm not saying we have it bad. I mean we are a modern industrialized nation. But we could be doing so much better yet we basically just refuse to take the actions that get us there because the people with ridiculous amounts of money are the ones making the rules to benefit themselves and themselves only.

  • @tiger08ist
    @tiger08ist 7 лет назад +68

    Female canines and certain gardening tools = hip hop, you're cracking me up funny Caucasian American male.

    • @grunt6257
      @grunt6257 7 лет назад

      b.cage I already call them bitches

    • @devon5078
      @devon5078 6 лет назад +2

      b.cage don’t refer to it as “like the blacks do” because that’s not strictly African American culture you’re the typa person that makes white people look bad which makes me happy I’m Native American

    • @devon5078
      @devon5078 6 лет назад

      b.cage yeah you gotta go man, just stop while you can. Your not an intelligent person at all

    • @ee8942
      @ee8942 6 лет назад

      *You're
      I find it Ironic how you are insulting his intelligence while also not knowing the difference between You're and Your

    • @h.w.4482
      @h.w.4482 5 лет назад

      tina marie funny Caucasian American male = dude?

  • @matttheman3923
    @matttheman3923 7 лет назад +6

    “The king and queen of Spain who had financed his voyage didn’t know that Christofer Columbus was directionally impaired” 😂😂😂

  • @novaroseoooooo
    @novaroseoooooo 7 лет назад +5

    This is the absolute greatest piece of content in the entire ASMR community.

  • @LionessWhispersASMR
    @LionessWhispersASMR 7 лет назад +7

    Oh my goodness... this was hilarious. I listened to this while falling asleep, and instead I woke my family up laughing! Well done :-)

  • @leonardchurch814
    @leonardchurch814 7 лет назад +34

    A rather risque move here Rift, let's see if it pays off. Not a lot of people understand satire.

  • @Xernive
    @Xernive 7 лет назад +1

    Thank you so much for taking time for making these videos. I do feel a tad sorry for people who have not taken time to experience your videos. Not only are they very creative but for someone to take the time from there family to do such a thing for strangers really shows. Again thank you and can't wait for next video :)

  • @michaelc.4321
    @michaelc.4321 7 лет назад +13

    You should’ve adjusted the exposure so everything seemed really REALLY white.

    • @Moonmerism
      @Moonmerism 7 лет назад

      That would be funny but it would be hard to fall asleep to

  • @hannahnelly1193
    @hannahnelly1193 7 лет назад +26

    What a fascinating species!

  • @jc2974
    @jc2974 7 лет назад +258

    This book is a meme

  • @Mundellica
    @Mundellica 7 лет назад +1

    Just picked this book up today. It’ll be on my coffee table during thanksgiving celebration.

  • @jay_ender
    @jay_ender 7 лет назад +11

    You look very nice today Uncle E!

  • @tuscan9617
    @tuscan9617 7 лет назад +14

    Me: Watch this video
    Get real sleepy
    Go to brush teeth
    Grab razor
    Grab toothpaste
    Put toothpaste on razor
    Stick razor in mouth
    About to brush tongue with toothpaste covered razor
    Me: Wait, WHAT THE FUCK
    Calmly removes razor from mouth
    Goes to bed before i can kill myself on accident.

  • @jadenmartinez9992
    @jadenmartinez9992 7 лет назад +9

    Hello stranger scrolling through the comments

  • @fabiomanda234
    @fabiomanda234 7 лет назад +2

    I don't know how you kept a straight face while reading that. Now I really want that book.

  • @taylorchanthavong3164
    @taylorchanthavong3164 7 лет назад +7

    I'd really like to see E.R do woody's repair scene from toy story or something similar like a broken toy

  • @thelonecookie3592
    @thelonecookie3592 7 лет назад +5

    Pretty sure this book is a satirical work that is designed to take a David Attenborough approach to that particular group of people

  • @KILLASAURUSFLEX
    @KILLASAURUSFLEX 7 лет назад +118

    NB4 someone comments without watching. This is satire so don't get all butt hurt about it, because I know someone's going to get it up their ass about how this is racist or somthing.

    • @crisv3283
      @crisv3283 7 лет назад +18

      KILLASAURUSFLEX Man, people need to be too dumb to don’t get that this is satire

    • @MoxieCat
      @MoxieCat 7 лет назад +4

      lolo man Looks like they ARE too dumb.

    • @grunt6257
      @grunt6257 7 лет назад

      I feel ya fam.

    • @FourNamesFourEyes
      @FourNamesFourEyes 7 лет назад +8

      Ironically the comment right above yours is someone taking it too seriously.
      Edit: Well it used to be anyway...

  • @jc3127
    @jc3127 7 лет назад +1

    These types of books are cool. Not because of race or what specifically they talk about but the way they talk about it. It gives you a new perspective. It’s like looking at our lives from the point of view of an alien.

  • @eliotgarcia21
    @eliotgarcia21 7 лет назад +20

    I just woke up why would i need to sleep another 8 hours

  • @eggproductions130
    @eggproductions130 7 лет назад

    Your channel is just incredible. So much originality and creativity. Your sense of humour and your references are always great.

  • @kjnuminous7224
    @kjnuminous7224 4 года назад +3

    88% Caucasian, 12% Moroccan. The Swede took over.

  • @Squiggypie
    @Squiggypie 7 лет назад

    Oi, Rift, you might not have seen my comment before, but I’m gonna keep asking for every episode from here on out.
    I love your content, and you’ve really inspired me to try to make ASMR on my own. If I could get your blessing, I’ll begin.
    Thanks Mr. Rift!

  • @thegooddoctor413
    @thegooddoctor413 4 года назад +5

    It sounds like an alien learning to be “human” and this is him reading to his brethren.

  • @Wildberryjamband
    @Wildberryjamband 5 лет назад +2

    49:30 is one of the greatest combinations of words ever assembled in one place. I bow to your greatne....oh wait lol

  • @Nscorpion5248
    @Nscorpion5248 4 года назад +11

    I still love the meme that the settlers had to be taught how to make things and plant things after coming from the most advanced civilization in history. Like, "the natives taught them how to make canoes" you know, after they just came across the entire ocean on massive galleons.

    • @saucevc8353
      @saucevc8353 2 года назад

      Ah yes, because civilizations are just hiveminds and everyone in them knows all information that the whole civilization has acquired. Most of the people on the galleons weren't the people building the galleons. As for planting crops, North America has very different plants and soil compared to England so obviously the people who have lived with those plants for centuries would know how to farm them better than the people who grew up with completely different farming methods for a completely different country.

  • @Kuronosa
    @Kuronosa 7 лет назад

    I can't even sleep to this...it cracks me up to listen to this...

  • @Sputnick_00
    @Sputnick_00 2 года назад +3

    this is how they will teach our era

  • @droid88-b56
    @droid88-b56 7 лет назад +2

    What a beard! God, it looks fantastic Uncle E!
    Also, since this video is made by you, I'll assume that it's great!

  • @evanb.529
    @evanb.529 7 лет назад +3

    I laughed pretty hard at the hip hop part cause of "female canines and certain gardening tools"

  • @UmbreonGamingatYT
    @UmbreonGamingatYT 7 лет назад +1

    I love being a caucasian male, receiving sacred green paper and reducing said green paper is what I enjoy investing my effort into, because time is indeed not physical, therefore it is not as valuable as the sacred green papers. I love to believe in a mystical being who is omnipresent, omnipotent, and omniscient who can create and do all things through acts of "miracles". I live in a magnificent country known as America, where the only thing you are required to do is follow the law, pay taxes, and die.

  • @FriendsOfOurs420
    @FriendsOfOurs420 7 лет назад +77

    **satire intensifies**

    • @FriendsOfOurs420
      @FriendsOfOurs420 7 лет назад +1

      Tomato Potato I prefer the term apache helicopter

    • @emmettchan5545
      @emmettchan5545 6 лет назад

      People who don't know what 'Satire' means: 2

  • @blindfox1443
    @blindfox1443 6 лет назад +1

    Definitely enjoy the soft talking videos over the whispering vids

  • @christinawhaley7
    @christinawhaley7 7 лет назад +17

    Be careful guys, don't trip over the degenerates that are already filling the comment section below.
    Also, this absolutely 100% pure in-your-face satire/parody. Soooo many people in this comment section don't seem to get that, which blows my mind.

    • @DarkDingo7
      @DarkDingo7 7 лет назад

      most of the big ones are just baiting and most of them haven't watched the video so don't take to much offense to it all

    • @parzival9841
      @parzival9841 7 лет назад

      Christina, it's not that they take it seriously, it's that even if it is a joke, it hurts their feelings, so it should be BURNED AT THE STAKE

    • @radiorebelde5931
      @radiorebelde5931 7 лет назад +1

      Look through the comments my dude no-one is triggered. Now stop victimising yourself and realise that the "sjw degenerates" don't actually really exist

    • @christinawhaley7
      @christinawhaley7 6 лет назад +2

      Radio Rebelde I didn't say "sjw degenerates", i just said degenerates. I left my comment a month before yours right after the video was posted. The comments are much more tame now, the ones i saw and was taking about at the time appear to have been buried.

  • @Tactical_Equine_Attack_Unit
    @Tactical_Equine_Attack_Unit 7 лет назад

    omfg you have got to be kidding me... I'm now battling naps because I need to hear more. This is great!

  • @e-gill5006
    @e-gill5006 7 лет назад +6

    Just love how people are talking about the comment section being trash, but when you go down you can't see the comments that they're talking about.
    But they are true about the trash part tho, they're the ones making it trash.

  • @ashlynkreiss4422
    @ashlynkreiss4422 6 лет назад +1

    I've lost count how many times I've watched this but I still can't stay awake past chapter 4

  • @lpacheco9947
    @lpacheco9947 7 лет назад +5

    "You're listening to Delicious Dish on National Public Radio"

  • @GenVK
    @GenVK 7 лет назад

    I love this book. It's got a great sardonic tone to it, as well as a condescending approach often unseen by Caucasian Americans.

    • @ThoughtMachine1
      @ThoughtMachine1 7 лет назад

      GenVK Really, you speak for all Caucasian Americans? Or are you just a bigot, happy to stereotype and assume as well as any other racist.

  • @WishIWasJim
    @WishIWasJim 7 лет назад +25

    The people complaining about this video are the same who comment on all his other videos calling everyone triggered. Who's triggered now huh?

  • @Beat_2004
    @Beat_2004 7 лет назад

    If he'd be my teacher I'd fall asleep immediately to his calming and smooth voice.

  • @ewanwalker5967
    @ewanwalker5967 7 лет назад +7

    Is that Stephen Colbert's face on the picture of the showering dude?

  • @torichristianson8890
    @torichristianson8890 7 лет назад

    This had me dying....Uncle E, you never cease to amaze me with your ideas....you are the master of originalality (probably not a word lol) and I love the subtle sarcasm in this.

  • @danic_c
    @danic_c 7 лет назад +3

    Most of the video is actually just a really tame description of a 1950's white family life. It's nothing racist per se.

  • @h.w.4482
    @h.w.4482 5 лет назад +1

    Just in case anyone’s not sure, America is named after Amerigo Vespucci. Also, “sacred noise box” sounds like something someone from Mad Max would call a radio.

  • @yptrumpet
    @yptrumpet 4 года назад +5

    "Would YOU be happy if you were a sanctimonious conformist?"

  • @queerqegaard8598
    @queerqegaard8598 7 лет назад +2

    Great video as always Rift

  • @Justin-uc8sc
    @Justin-uc8sc 7 лет назад +11

    Little do his fans know he is growing the Bob Ross beard. Next comes the 'fro

  • @nabbygrabby3091
    @nabbygrabby3091 7 лет назад +1

    One day, our ancestors will unearth this book and understand our society better than we do now

  • @ananymous9066
    @ananymous9066 7 лет назад +30

    Take a shot every time he says "Caucasian."

    • @howtodothings2014
      @howtodothings2014 7 лет назад +1

      Now I’m an alcoholic. Thank you (was in the first minute of this challenge)

    • @daylanberry7955
      @daylanberry7955 7 лет назад

      Ananymous dead after 2 minutes

    • @kin5033
      @kin5033 7 лет назад

      CoOl !

    • @Jayderica
      @Jayderica 6 лет назад +1

      Ananymous Double if you are Caucasian.

    • @Dogwaterclip
      @Dogwaterclip 6 лет назад

      This kills the Caucasian American man.

  • @iqbooda
    @iqbooda 7 лет назад +1

    This reminds me of an article called "The Nacirema" which also highlights the "othering" of non-white societies of which anthropology was so guilty. Also a fun read and easily found on the web if you are curious!

  • @dxjjw
    @dxjjw 7 лет назад +17

    Can already tell some people won’t realise this is satire

    • @ThoughtMachine1
      @ThoughtMachine1 7 лет назад

      Sort of like joking about black, Asians, or any other group of people being wiped out in 100 years, right?

  • @bobd9116
    @bobd9116 5 лет назад +1

    The most condescending book, read in the most condescending manner LOL. Still love you ER keep up the good work.

  • @CptArg
    @CptArg 7 лет назад +9

    I'm here in Australia and laughing at all you angry Southern Canadians !

    • @retrobitgamer4569
      @retrobitgamer4569 7 лет назад +2

      Cpt Arganaut That's offensive to Canadians

    • @MrRwk314
      @MrRwk314 6 лет назад +2

      Australia? You mean England's prison?

    • @TheObsessedGardener
      @TheObsessedGardener 6 лет назад

      @@MrRwk314 If you call a prison a place of wide open space, vast beaches, rainforests and free medical care, sure, we live in a horrible "prison".🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @h.w.4482
      @h.w.4482 5 лет назад

      Cpt Arganaut well, a lot can be said about both our countries

    • @xxaggr0zxx389
      @xxaggr0zxx389 5 лет назад

      Shut up prisoner

  • @shilopnamreg6468
    @shilopnamreg6468 7 лет назад +2

    Is... is this what representation and/or appreciation feels like?

  • @NirNaethCZ
    @NirNaethCZ 7 лет назад +34

    someone enlighten me is this book a piss-take? or is it just the way Rift reads it that makes it so hilarious.......

    • @NirNaethCZ
      @NirNaethCZ 7 лет назад

      19 minutes in and still can't decide!

    • @Naters305ytg
      @Naters305ytg 7 лет назад +2

      Did you figure it out yet? I think its kind of a mixture honestly.

    • @kickinitwithmydawg
      @kickinitwithmydawg 7 лет назад +10

      Klara Клара -- The author (Slapin) probably admires Stephen Colbert's (comedian) style. it has pictures of Colbert throughout so I'm going to say that this is a parody book...since that's what he does. He also writes parody books. I think it's a parody on education.

    • @calkestis5817
      @calkestis5817 7 лет назад +12

      It’s meant to be funny

    • @apewithheadphonesKK
      @apewithheadphonesKK 7 лет назад

      poe`s law man, poe`s law

  • @PeterFerr
    @PeterFerr 7 лет назад +2

    This book reads like it was written by cats living in human homes...

  • @bbillx9347
    @bbillx9347 7 лет назад +51

    2:34 secret frame

    • @andrewcryan1
      @andrewcryan1 7 лет назад +14

      That was a subliminal message telling me telling me to shoot John Lennon.

    • @Flevir
      @Flevir 7 лет назад +1

      andrewcryan1 No not John! Don't kill the Beatles!

    • @Jayderica
      @Jayderica 6 лет назад +3

      Flevir not sure how to break this to you...

  • @Gala21
    @Gala21 7 лет назад

    This is amazing, I wasn't sure if it was serious or not at first, your acting is just brilliant. The book is amazing

  • @HiThereLindsey
    @HiThereLindsey 7 лет назад +5

    I am so intrigued right now lol bring on the tingles

  • @Jo-vo6rd
    @Jo-vo6rd 7 лет назад

    This is the first time ever that I have skipped the nap in an asmr video for the sake of laughing of all things. I went straight to the [ 01:20:35 Chapter 10: Caucasian American Government ] and im reeling omg

  • @austinorlando4326
    @austinorlando4326 7 лет назад +5

    It's like an alien is reading a textbook about what Caucasian people lived like when earth was still around or something

  • @DarkDingo7
    @DarkDingo7 7 лет назад +2

    As a Caucasian male I can confirm I love sacred green paper and S O A P

  • @josht6375
    @josht6375 7 лет назад +299

    This is gonna attract all the wrong people

    • @Flevir
      @Flevir 7 лет назад +24

      da gingerbread boi Yep. Totally has been.

    • @christinawhaley7
      @christinawhaley7 7 лет назад +12

      It already is. Damnit.

    • @tailgunner2
      @tailgunner2 7 лет назад +17

      Well, most ASMR videos aim to hit triggers, lol!

    • @eragoncarvahall735
      @eragoncarvahall735 7 лет назад

      I think that's the goal, cuz he explains ASMR

    • @suspicioususer
      @suspicioususer 5 лет назад

      like leftists

  • @monjessenstein
    @monjessenstein 7 лет назад

    Been looking foward to this since your post on twitter.

  • @misfortune6666
    @misfortune6666 3 года назад +4

    At 1:16:11 you can tell ER is doing is best to not laugh

  • @wendye1048
    @wendye1048 7 лет назад +1

    STEPHEN COLBERT!!!!! xD
    *sings little boxes along with the reading*

  • @awally5222
    @awally5222 7 лет назад +30

    Caucasian and white aren't the same thing, but White is a sub division of Caucasoid, but so are Arabs and they aren't white, well at least most of them.

  • @yamyanasmr3047
    @yamyanasmr3047 7 лет назад

    Nice! I came at exactly 2k views! Keep up the great work and ideas, rift!

  • @harryjohnson1093
    @harryjohnson1093 3 года назад +3

    I admit the book is kind of cringe but I feel if it were a book on African American or Latino or even East Asian culture people wouldn’t take the piss out of it

    • @normantent
      @normantent 2 года назад +3

      It's a satire on the over simplification of native Americans and first people's textbooks usually given to kids

    • @punklover99
      @punklover99 Год назад

      ​@@normantent ok but he's still got a point, if it was about latinos people would be pissed. As a Mexican myself who thinks everyone can be fodder i wouldn't care

  • @ZolidarPwns
    @ZolidarPwns 7 лет назад

    I feel so enlightened by this I don't think I'll ever touch the ground again.

  • @jtdavis2393
    @jtdavis2393 7 лет назад +20

    Sacred green bois

    • @river689
      @river689 7 лет назад +1

      WHO WOULD WIN?
      A healthy relationship sustained by love and bonding
      OR
      one green boi

  • @Inkwell_Music
    @Inkwell_Music 6 лет назад +2

    This is like an alien teacher teaching alien kids about earth history

    • @Inkwell_Music
      @Inkwell_Music 6 лет назад

      Also this is very clearly a left leaning book, I don’t care though, I don’t lean iether way

  • @jackcross6818
    @jackcross6818 7 лет назад +4

    Make a video With Dr. T asmr where doctor Tingle bottom visits the Arkham sanitarium

  • @gashby1965
    @gashby1965 7 лет назад

    You never fail to entertain!! Well done!

  • @kin5033
    @kin5033 7 лет назад +3

    This holy video is called "ASMR."

  • @Nickersons-Theme
    @Nickersons-Theme 7 лет назад +1

    "I'm a white male, aged 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are.''