Hey, check this out… 👉🏼 If you want to find out if you're a true Bulldog or a Chihuahua: *Take the Bulldog Mindset Quiz:* bulldogmindset.com/yt-com-quiz If you want to financially, socially, and physically dominate: *Join the Bulldog Mindset Private MEMBERSHIP:* bulldogmindset.com/yt-com-st If you need guidance and want to take your life to the next level: *Sign up for 1 on 1 personal coaching:* bulldogmindset.com/yt-com-coach
When you said you used to take offense at everything in life. I'm the complete opposite, I never take anything as offense and just naturally shrug any comment off like nothing. But these beliefs have not been working for me because it starts inviting actual bullying, something to do with boundaries and people seeing how far they can go. I really had to start learning how to take things seriously and handle things when people non jokingly make offense.
If they seemingly have a lack of remorse or fail to realize anything about the situation being wrong in the first place it's always floating in the back of your mind. All the worse if it's family or someone you've known for a very long time.
Buddha once utilized the analogy, imagine you are walking on a forest and a big fat branch falls right on you. What would you do? Be angry at the branch, or the tree? You´d get up, dust yourself off, and keep walking.
The only way to "forgive" a cheater is to first DO JUSTICE TO YOURSELF and THEN cut them off and let them go.When you have respect for yourself AND others, you WANT justice for yourself AND the other person. The cheater is not going to be happy with someone who no longer and would never trust them again,therefore it is a JUST and merciful thing to cut them off.
Something I’ve been thinking about recently ( kind of related to the idea of the self being an illusion), if enough time passes, are you even the same person that was wronged? Now it feels that the person who wronged me, wronged an entirely different person.
I have excercised vengeance a few times with no tragic consequences luckily and truth to be told i enjoyed venting my anger on them, few hours later got remorse for hurting them and finally indiference. But achieved the goal of not getting hurt by means of fear. Vengeance is a double edge blade that so it cuts your foe, scars your spirit.
It’s true...I’ve never taken a pound of flesh...but I have verbally hurt people that have hurt me...I only felt better for a second...then it quickly switched to feeling bad for what I said
Forgiveness is great. People reflect aspects of yourself. If you can forgive them you can forgive yourself. You standards should cover everything. If your standards aren't upheld they're not something you can defend or rationalize easily... I'm talking about weakness. Recognizing weakness in others doesn't mean you don't forgive them. It's up to other people to identify their own failings and make attempts to do better and fix problems. So long as they won't adjust their own behavior, you know where they stand, you know what they offer you and you decide what involvement you want with them. That's how I see it. If you believe no one can harm you then you bear the responsibility of everything alone. Not feeling offended is from a place of indifference.
I really liked how you started your answer, by stating this is not a moral not religious opinion it's what might work for you from a pragmatic point of view.
I forgive people when they wrong me I don't take it personal. But if the deed was done in such a way that it brought down my self respect or value I proceed to punish the person appropriately so the respect will remain intact between us. In doing so the person's respect for me increases or they just back off.Some people will repeat their actions if not shown consequences.
Hey John, thanks for this video. I have a question for you which is off topic but I'd appreciate your view on this: It seems the western world has never been experiencing more division. Everyday, it's racism this, sexism that, misgender this, "white people should" that. It feels there is this non stop stream of everyone complaining even though we have never been more comfortable than today. How do you deal with that? what's your opinion on the matter? does this noise bother you at all? Thanks again for sharing your time and thoughts John.
Hello John, I love your channel. I work as a Transformational Psychologist and want to make a suggestion. I recommend you remove the phrase "I'm going to be honest with you" It does imply that at other times you were not "being honest" Just a tip one professional to another. 😉👌
I disagree. There are certainly malicious people and malicious actions of good people. "Let go" and be harmed by them second time? No. Pain is a good teacher where you went wrong.
Disagree, there are evil people in the world who live to harm others. Some people know better and they still decide to intentionally harm others, that is evil.
U miss the point at when u say let's give justice and take flesh etc. like being vulgar would that make any difference. U can't just theorize it because in today's society there's a punishment if you try to provide justice yourself even you're right. So it's actually not a clean cut eye to eye justice it's also harming yourself so u can't just compare it if that would make any difference because that's not a clear concept of justice. But in todays societal rules that's the best option and most pragmatical to forgive/move on/let go. If there was no punishment, most people would surely take justice/revenge option, even the most rational/good ones. Because there are some wrongs that are human crimes that is deserving rightful eye to eye/retalliation scenarios in this life. And because of the corrupt systems/dirty justice u can't do anything and laws don't do anything. But as Frankl said when man can't change his circumstances, he changes himself. So that's the only positive option in today's society if you don't wanna become a prisoner/useless/negative person and just wanna win at life no matter what happened. So this advice is for who wants to become winners at life instead of being bitter. Which I support a lot.
@@BulldogMindsetArchive right, I turned it off. but i just rewatched it. i appreciate the message, but there are varying levels of pain caused by external events...we agree that you DO need to forgive people (organizations, and events) and that holding on to the pain sustains it. Sometimes, pain is so deep and so real that this kind of advice doesn't scratch the surface. Ask anyone with PTSD. Keep up the good work. I enjoy your channel.
Hey, check this out… 👉🏼
If you want to find out if you're a true Bulldog or a Chihuahua:
*Take the Bulldog Mindset Quiz:*
bulldogmindset.com/yt-com-quiz
If you want to financially, socially, and physically dominate:
*Join the Bulldog Mindset Private MEMBERSHIP:*
bulldogmindset.com/yt-com-st
If you need guidance and want to take your life to the next level:
*Sign up for 1 on 1 personal coaching:*
bulldogmindset.com/yt-com-coach
When you said you used to take offense at everything in life. I'm the complete opposite, I never take anything as offense and just naturally shrug any comment off like nothing. But these beliefs have not been working for me because it starts inviting actual bullying, something to do with boundaries and people seeing how far they can go.
I really had to start learning how to take things seriously and handle things when people non jokingly make offense.
Grown man facts 🔥💪🏽
If they seemingly have a lack of remorse or fail to realize anything about the situation being wrong in the first place it's always floating in the back of your mind. All the worse if it's family or someone you've known for a very long time.
For me it’s not just floating in the back of my mind but at the FOREFRONT of my mind and literally ruining my life
Buddha once utilized the analogy, imagine you are walking on a forest and a big fat branch falls right on you. What would you do? Be angry at the branch, or the tree? You´d get up, dust yourself off, and keep walking.
that's true stoic right there Julio
Finally Joined the Bulldog mindset today!! Had to crunch some numbers but I made it :)
Always forgive. Never forget.
Excellent video... only took me 50 years to learn this...
The person that wronged me was murdered by someone else not related to our situation at all and i still dont feel better.
The only way to "forgive" a cheater is to first DO JUSTICE TO YOURSELF and THEN cut them off and let them go.When you have respect for yourself AND others, you WANT justice for yourself AND the other person. The cheater is not going to be happy with someone who no longer and would never trust them again,therefore it is a JUST and merciful thing to cut them off.
I really appreciate this. Thank you.
I feel great moving on, cling ons FINALLY GONE...
Something I’ve been thinking about recently ( kind of related to the idea of the self being an illusion), if enough time passes, are you even the same person that was wronged? Now it feels that the person who wronged me, wronged an entirely different person.
I have excercised vengeance a few times with no tragic consequences luckily and truth to be told i enjoyed venting my anger on them, few hours later got remorse for hurting them and finally indiference. But achieved the goal of not getting hurt by means of fear. Vengeance is a double edge blade that so it cuts your foe, scars your spirit.
John, you never miss!
It’s true...I’ve never taken a pound of flesh...but I have verbally hurt people that have hurt me...I only felt better for a second...then it quickly switched to feeling bad for what I said
Forgiveness is great.
People reflect aspects of yourself.
If you can forgive them you can forgive yourself.
You standards should cover everything.
If your standards aren't upheld they're not something you can defend or rationalize easily... I'm talking about weakness.
Recognizing weakness in others doesn't mean you don't forgive them.
It's up to other people to identify their own failings and make attempts to do better and fix problems.
So long as they won't adjust their own behavior, you know where they stand, you know what they offer you and you decide what involvement you want with them.
That's how I see it.
If you believe no one can harm you then you bear the responsibility of everything alone.
Not feeling offended is from a place of indifference.
Great video i like the part on where people are not evil by nature its just ignornace
I’m firsttttttt
Admire your advice
Big ups to you
Disagree, forgive or relive
Love this video! There's a bit of an echo in the room, maybe wall tapestry would make it sound more clear.
Love this John! Thank you
I'm hoping that my ex one day gets some hard hitting karma for wronging me throughout our relationship. She'll never get forgiveness from me, ever.
You are an being used by the Lord even if you don’t believe it! God bless you Bulldog man
How does that connect to not letting people walk all over you ?
I assume you just let go but avoid people who crossed you.
Simple if people go too far then they dont know me anymore
I really liked how you started your answer, by stating this is not a moral not religious opinion it's what might work for you from a pragmatic point of view.
God forgives i dont.
I'm trying to forgive.
Very difficult.
I'm a little confused. Letting go of the harm doesn't mean I immediately shouldn't kick the ass of dude who insulting me or my mom, right?
I forgive people when they wrong me I don't take it personal. But if the deed was done in such a way that it brought down my self respect or value I proceed to punish the person appropriately so the respect will remain intact between us. In doing so the person's respect for me increases or they just back off.Some people will repeat their actions if not shown consequences.
Wow! Never seen it it from that perspective, but it’s quite amazing! Amazing video!!
Hey John, thanks for this video. I have a question for you which is off topic but I'd appreciate your view on this:
It seems the western world has never been experiencing more division. Everyday, it's racism this, sexism that, misgender this, "white people should" that. It feels there is this non stop stream of everyone complaining even though we have never been more comfortable than today.
How do you deal with that? what's your opinion on the matter? does this noise bother you at all?
Thanks again for sharing your time and thoughts John.
Hello John, I love your channel. I work as a Transformational Psychologist and want to make a suggestion. I recommend you remove the phrase "I'm going to be honest with you" It does imply that at other times you were not "being honest" Just a tip one professional to another. 😉👌
Thanks John
I spy with my little eye something starting with g in the background... when are we gonna hear you play?
So you are saying I should never forgive valve for not making hl 3?
I notice you have an acoustic guitar in your background. Do you know how to play the guitar? Would be cool to see a video of you rocking out.
King Geoffrey had a huge misunderstanding when it came to Ned Stark
I disagree. There are certainly malicious people and malicious actions of good people. "Let go" and be harmed by them second time? No. Pain is a good teacher where you went wrong.
Congrats to anybody who is early and who found this comment useful
🤝💯❤️hj
Disagree, there are evil people in the world who live to harm others. Some people know better and they still decide to intentionally harm others, that is evil.
U miss the point at when u say let's give justice and take flesh etc. like being vulgar would that make any difference. U can't just theorize it because in today's society there's a punishment if you try to provide justice yourself even you're right. So it's actually not a clean cut eye to eye justice it's also harming yourself so u can't just compare it if that would make any difference because that's not a clear concept of justice. But in todays societal rules that's the best option and most pragmatical to forgive/move on/let go. If there was no punishment, most people would surely take justice/revenge option, even the most rational/good ones. Because there are some wrongs that are human crimes that is deserving rightful eye to eye/retalliation scenarios in this life. And because of the corrupt systems/dirty justice u can't do anything and laws don't do anything. But as Frankl said when man can't change his circumstances, he changes himself. So that's the only positive option in today's society if you don't wanna become a prisoner/useless/negative person and just wanna win at life no matter what happened. So this advice is for who wants to become winners at life instead of being bitter. Which I support a lot.
I like you...but this is naive af
I don't think you actually watched the video.
@@BulldogMindsetArchive right, I turned it off. but i just rewatched it. i appreciate the message, but there are varying levels of pain caused by external events...we agree that you DO need to forgive people (organizations, and events) and that holding on to the pain sustains it. Sometimes, pain is so deep and so real that this kind of advice doesn't scratch the surface. Ask anyone with PTSD. Keep up the good work. I enjoy your channel.